Knave
04-27-10, 09:44 PM
((I wrote this for COMP II ten minutes ago. Seemed like it would be an interesting read so I'm sharing. Its basically a short story for any picture we could find on life.com))
Today is Wednesday the 28th in the year of our lord 2010, Okinawa, Japan. Here on the other side of the world is a day near and dear to us all. It is “Bring Your Child to Work Day” and all across the nation parents bring their children to the places where they win their bread and butter. In the race for meat and potatoes there are a great number of careers to choose from, ranging broadly between fishing and politics, sports and news casting. It should surprise no one when these fathers brought their newborns to the ring. These men carried babies while they themselves were in large men’s diapers, the baby fat of grown men allowed to swing free without the prohibitive grip of a shirt or possibly a bra. These men are sumo wrestlers, and their children will be too someday.
Sumo is a sport dating back to antiquity, where lords of great castles cast aside their reason, and clothes, to engage in feudal sumo warfare. It is a sport so robust that it denies the use of kicks and punches, instead offering earth shattering slaps, and throws that literally make use of your now g-string diaper to hurl you into the air. It is truly a miracle that Japan did not realize its dreams of conquering the world in World War II. If they play games like this, then it was truly audacious to believe anyone could defeat them?
Lumbering, these iron giants enter the compound, what great machine transported them here we do not know. Dal Shin-rah, and his opponent Mar Ie-Su, will soon be engaged in tearing the stars from the sky as they battle to hurl each other from the ring. The meat beasts meet in peace with a pregame show of civility and sportsmanship, so that we, who watch these men fight, know that we are not initially doomed.
An elected official, and the only man insane enough to do it, steps forward with a wide smile and friendly demeanor knowing full well that if he fails to inspire amity between these two earthly gods he will be splattered across the pacific and most of America. The officials forced civility and aura of sheer terror amuses the sumo men, their laughter echoing into the distance while simultaneously liberating tooth fillings from teeth.
A collective sigh of relief sounds throughout the stadium as Mar’s little girl burbles in his hands and attempts to go to sleep. Truly children are innocent. Once the children are set aside, each of the planet busters steps to opposing sides of the ring, eager for battle. Raising one leg up, they each take turns shifting the earth’s orbit as a sign of respect.
Waving his official stick the referee dives off the stage. Pale slabs, walls, mountains collide with the sound of thunder! A valley is formed as the earth sinks beneath their combined weight! The match has only begun! There is plenty more where that came from! Meanwhile the audience has relocated to a fleet of helicopters. There must be an audience, for without the audience there is no sport which the sumo men will occupy their time with. If left to their own devices we can only imagine, and fear, the great and terrible things they would do.
Invasive hands latch onto whatever they can hold. Vicious shoves and slaps reprimand anything too near what they hold dear. Locked in a stalemate for hours they threaten to sink Japan with their incredible power. Having absorbed the concept of the samurai these lords of the ring, and masters of the solar system, fight for honor, and he who loses is shamed.
Finally the battle ends as Mar Ie Su lifts Dal Shin-rah overhead and hurls him out of the ring by putting him six thousand miles beneath it. Lava burst free from the large hole in the tectonic plate below. A new volcano is born as Mar Ie Su shouts his victory to the blackened heavens above.
The inspiration. You thought I was kidding about the babies didn't you? (http://www.life.com/image/98654469/in-carousel/10452)
Today is Wednesday the 28th in the year of our lord 2010, Okinawa, Japan. Here on the other side of the world is a day near and dear to us all. It is “Bring Your Child to Work Day” and all across the nation parents bring their children to the places where they win their bread and butter. In the race for meat and potatoes there are a great number of careers to choose from, ranging broadly between fishing and politics, sports and news casting. It should surprise no one when these fathers brought their newborns to the ring. These men carried babies while they themselves were in large men’s diapers, the baby fat of grown men allowed to swing free without the prohibitive grip of a shirt or possibly a bra. These men are sumo wrestlers, and their children will be too someday.
Sumo is a sport dating back to antiquity, where lords of great castles cast aside their reason, and clothes, to engage in feudal sumo warfare. It is a sport so robust that it denies the use of kicks and punches, instead offering earth shattering slaps, and throws that literally make use of your now g-string diaper to hurl you into the air. It is truly a miracle that Japan did not realize its dreams of conquering the world in World War II. If they play games like this, then it was truly audacious to believe anyone could defeat them?
Lumbering, these iron giants enter the compound, what great machine transported them here we do not know. Dal Shin-rah, and his opponent Mar Ie-Su, will soon be engaged in tearing the stars from the sky as they battle to hurl each other from the ring. The meat beasts meet in peace with a pregame show of civility and sportsmanship, so that we, who watch these men fight, know that we are not initially doomed.
An elected official, and the only man insane enough to do it, steps forward with a wide smile and friendly demeanor knowing full well that if he fails to inspire amity between these two earthly gods he will be splattered across the pacific and most of America. The officials forced civility and aura of sheer terror amuses the sumo men, their laughter echoing into the distance while simultaneously liberating tooth fillings from teeth.
A collective sigh of relief sounds throughout the stadium as Mar’s little girl burbles in his hands and attempts to go to sleep. Truly children are innocent. Once the children are set aside, each of the planet busters steps to opposing sides of the ring, eager for battle. Raising one leg up, they each take turns shifting the earth’s orbit as a sign of respect.
Waving his official stick the referee dives off the stage. Pale slabs, walls, mountains collide with the sound of thunder! A valley is formed as the earth sinks beneath their combined weight! The match has only begun! There is plenty more where that came from! Meanwhile the audience has relocated to a fleet of helicopters. There must be an audience, for without the audience there is no sport which the sumo men will occupy their time with. If left to their own devices we can only imagine, and fear, the great and terrible things they would do.
Invasive hands latch onto whatever they can hold. Vicious shoves and slaps reprimand anything too near what they hold dear. Locked in a stalemate for hours they threaten to sink Japan with their incredible power. Having absorbed the concept of the samurai these lords of the ring, and masters of the solar system, fight for honor, and he who loses is shamed.
Finally the battle ends as Mar Ie Su lifts Dal Shin-rah overhead and hurls him out of the ring by putting him six thousand miles beneath it. Lava burst free from the large hole in the tectonic plate below. A new volcano is born as Mar Ie Su shouts his victory to the blackened heavens above.
The inspiration. You thought I was kidding about the babies didn't you? (http://www.life.com/image/98654469/in-carousel/10452)