Satanfoot's Totally Cool Slumber Party of Awesome! Beast Mode!

[Satanfoot Blocker]

The mood was set. The lights were turned up high, the balloons were wafting in the air. He had gotten some sort of cactus to cook the food, as well as a man with a penchant for soup. The music was blaring and he even had entertainment on the way. This was truly going to be the best damned slumber party Satanfoot Blocker ever held.

He had slipped invitations under doors and handed them out to shopkeepers and inn managers. Everybody who was anybody on Althanas would be here tonight. Maybe the mini monster of music would even find some of his karaoke rival from the previous week showing up. The thought made the chubby chick magnet dance up and down on his tippy toes, giddy with excitement.

The record player started blaring 'I Just Can't Wait to be King' as he began to lay down all of the sleeping bags. He understood that a lot of people spent their money on stupid things like weapons and armor and magic beans and cows and geese and jumping over candlesticks...

Satanfoot lost his train of thought for a moment. He shoot his head as he counted the epic amount of sleeping bags he had managed to acquire. So what if a few possessed teenagers in them when he took them? The girls would quickly fall under his charm, and he was free to do whatever the hell he wanted. He was the Satanfoot Blocker after all.

The king of karaoke waddled his way around his house. His living room was big enough to house two couches, which it did. A blue and yellow couch met each other in the eaxct middle of the room. The floor of sleeping bags he had laid out covered his Puppy Power Salvary Doo carpet. The walls were plastered with several Rainbow Bright, true hero of Radasanth posters. There were even a few well placed 'Hang in there Baby' posters featuring a cuddly little kitty.

There were several rooms that spanned across the hallway, which connected to the pink kitchen. In the kitchen, the cactus was busy playing some song for the soup man, who was baking a soup flavored cake. Satanfoot began to look back to the hallway when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Satanfoot cried to nobody in particular as he waddled to the blue wooden door. Grabbing the knob placed beside the doggy door of the normal sized entrance, Satan foot turned and pulled.

"Welcome!"

[Enigmatic Immortal]

Stephanie sighed, very loudly, and forcefully as she walked with the two most precious treasures of Sei Orlouge, his daughters. They were gossiping, as girls there age would, about the party they were given permission to go to at Satanfoot Blocker’s house a few towns down the road. Anita was excited to go for a chance to drink and have fun away from the cave, and Kyla was excited just to be doing something other than being cooped up.

She wished she could honestly share their enthusiasm, but in all honesty she didn’t. This night could have only possibly been fun if her best friend, Jensen, would be coming. Alas, the enigmatic immortal was ordered to stay behind in the cave, because if Jensen went, Kyla wasn’t. The knight reluctantly agreed, seeing that he could leave the cave on a whim to do whatever he felt like, but Kyla wasn’t such a lucky girl.

So with squeals galore the two girls had been getting dressed, taking their showers and playing with their hair as they frolicked around like idiots while Stephanie sat in her room with Jensen, playing an old card game she had taught him a few years back. Her agitation reached new heights when Sei had politely asked if she would baby-sit the kids. Stephanie immediately declined, not wanting to waste a night being a chaperon to a slumber party, but then her mind quickly sang a different tune.

Sei ordered to go, and that was that.

So now she was on the brick laid path, eyes down cast and head sagging as she followed a few steps behind the girls, irritably looking towards the house where this midget freak lived. Obnoxious music blared in the background of the house, muffled by the windowpanes and shut door. Yet as she got closer and closer her heart dragged further and further down.

Ohh I just can’t wait, to be ki~nggg!

“You guys can’t be serious about this,” Stephanie sighed again, for she had no idea what else to do. Anita turned to her, smiling a grin that would make a cat jealous.

“Don’t be such a sour puss. I’ll bet you’d have a lot of fun tonight if you just let loose and join us instead of watching us.”

“I’m here as a bodyguard, that’s it.” Stephanie spoke in a dead even tone. Kyla sighed a little.

“Wish Jensen was my escort…” she whispered under her breath.

“No, you don’t.” Stephanie mumbled to her as she approached the door and looked at the knocker. She had to take a few glances, her eyes unable to believe what they saw. Yet there it was before her like a shining beacon of insanity.

His knocker was of a bear with a rainbow tattoo on its stomach, thrusting its hips forward. She grabbed the bushy tail and knocked on the door three times. The little rainbow lit up with each knock, and the two girls giggle behind her as the knight merely sagged her shoulders.

When the door open her face was repulsed. Round jiggling fat was barely kept in place by a over extended button shirt with a zig zag pattern that made her want to feint, hair slicked back in a cheesy used swords salesman kind of way. His pudgy fingers were so fat she couldn’t tell if they were little sausages or actual dexterous appendages.

“Oh fuck no,” Stephanie blurted as she peered into the house, seeing the walls and the silly posters of unicorns and bears. She took a few shocked steps back as she saw a large, wall sized monumental picture of a kitten hanging onto the side of a table cloth by three claws, a hang in there baby slogan underneath it. She rolled her eyes, but only half way as they looked upon his chandelier in abject terror.

The metal lighting instrument was of twelve midgets, all upon each others shoulders attempting to screw in one light bulb.

“Nope, not gonna happen.” Stephanie said turning to the girls. “I deem this place unsafe for you two. Come on, we’re going home. Now.” she attempted to grab their things, but with one excited squeal they both ran past her, stopping to say hello to the host of the evening, laughing as he told a rather silly joke while he escorted them down his halls, waddling as he did so towards a room where they could keep their things.

Stephanie slapped herself hard in the face, letting her fingers dig into her skin as she pulled down hard. “Ugh, this is going to be a long night…”

[Amber Eyes]

Kyla took in the repulsive room around her. "THIS IS GUNNA BE AWESOME!"

She ran past Stephanie before she could ruin Kyla's entire evening and smiled at her host. Rather than the typical 'hello'; Satanfoot said "Did you hear the one about the insanely filthy window? I doubt it. It's too dirty to tell."

Kyla giggle and ran to claim a sleeping bag. She found one with purple dragonflies covering it next to one with pink puppy dogs. "Which one do you want?" She looked to her sister.

"Puppies of course, move over!" Anita squealed.

"The girls settled in to wait for the other guests. Satanfoot soon joined them with a few bottles of toenail polish. The girls looked at each other and said "Green" in unison. They began to paint thier nails, telling the dumbest jokes they could think of while they waited.

Kyla started off, "What's Black, White and Read all over? Newspapers, of course."

Anita jumped in, “Did you hear the one about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there really was a dog.”

Satanfoot giggled, "A mushroom walks into a bar.

The bartender yells at him to leave, saying, "We don't serve your kind here!"

The mushroom replies, "Why not? I'm a fun guy.""

Soon all three were rolling on the floor laughing. Satanfoot reached into a cooler and handed each girl a drink. Stephanie's face showed much disapproval, but Kyla ignored the knight. Jensen would have let her had all the fun she wanted.

I wonder what's he's up to?

Just then the doorbell rang and Satanfoot waddled off to answer it.

Kyla whispered in Anita's ear, "We have to do something about her!"

"There's nothing we can do!" Anita insisted.

"We'll figure something out."

[Kupo!]

“Now Tim, behave yourself in front of the guests,” Duke said fatherly like as he tipped his bowler hat to the side, resting on his cane as the creepy turtle guy and the green cactus looking guy worked together to ring the doorbell. The moogle fixed his suit and tie, making sure he was presentable, even getting Tim a little tie choker. The heir to the Toy Maker’s legacy wasn’t going to look like a fool tonight.

When the door opened they all greeted Satanfoot, the moogle lifting a paw forward to shake hands with the squat gentlemen. Tim ran forwards, a quick greeting as his tongue flailed to the side, taking in the new sights like an eager puppy who was just adopted. He looked to the two girls painting their toe nails and immeditly the young yan, a sheep like creature, charged forwards to get in on the action.

“I must comment you on your art choices, kupo,” Duke said politely pointing to the wall sized portrait of the Hang in there Baby cat. Satanfoot patted himself on the stomach, standing proudly to the side of it like a father showcasing his son. Duke clicked his fingers and held out his hand, but nothing happened. Clicking his fingers again he waited patiently.

“You guys doing you-” Duke stoppe dmid sentence, finding the creepy turtle guy standing next to a very upset looking woman with red hair, Tim in the lap of a girl called Anita, and the green cactus like guy running around the house shouting, “BOI!” as loud as he could, obviously excited. Sighing deeply he turned to his bag and grabbed a box.

“For your hospitality, sir, I brought you this present. It’s a rather old glass, from the Emprean Region just before the Carthage invasion that is currently taking place as speak. It was rumored to be used by King Horus himself, kupo! And for a bargain price of two gold I couldn’t let a rare piece of history slip. Even if it was from a shady man who offered to buy my kidney and replace it with a hamburger patty at bargain discounts, kupo.”

“I should talk to this man, he have a name?” Satanfoot asked, genuine curiosity upon his face.

“Something along the lines of Sears.” Duke said off-handedly, remembering he forgot his monocle as he quickly slipped it on. “He has many locations, kupo. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was in the area.”

Satanfoot opened the present and simply marveled at the glass. It was perfectly cylinder shaped plastic cup with pictures of five warriors dressed in red, blue, pink, yellow, and black. The Black warrior seemed to be outcaste from the rest, a gun in one hand, and a watermelon in the other. The yellow warrior held a deadly looking calculator, and the red and blue warrior’s merely looked to each other in a longing way. The pink warrior, a woman, just plain didn’t where clothing, her indecency hidden by the swords of the other warriors.

“This is simply marvelous!” He whispered patting it and ushering the moogle into his domain. “I wonder if any else will show?” he pondered loudly.


((Two people, Althanas? Seriously? Get your asses in this thread now. I demand it.))

[The gospel speaks]

Lucien stared at the invitation he found sitting on the side of the road. "No way...." he muttered reading it over. "This is the chance I need!" he shouted gleefully, "time to ditch that soggy realm and its stupid council of kings! I'm gonna party!" he shouted picking up into a dead sprint in the direction he thought it was in.

Half an hour later he found himself hopelessly lost, then he heard some cheezy song that reminded him of baby seals being clubbed to death. He turned around and checked the invite, he was in the right place. He gulped, whoever was inside must have been a total bad ass. he walked forward he stopped, the knocker was a...Bear. "Well perhaps he is so masculine he can be as girly as he wanted. He paused and then searched his pockets for a gift, coming up with nothing but a lint ball. he paused and focused on the ball, calling shadows to swarm around it, turning into a...lint puppy. "God dammit!" he sighed and knocked, not expecting to be greeted by the chubby man. He set the puppy down and watched it run off to go piss on some random spot on the carpet. He squeezed past the host and looked around mortified by what he saw. "My rep is ruined..."

[Aiko]

A hole appeared in the floor that was not there before. A whirring grinding sound could be heard, as though somewhere far below, great machinery was set into motion. Slowly they rose up through the floor, five demonesses, four of which were well known. The floor replaced itself, and no trace of there ever being a hole in the floor could be seen.

“Why couldn't we just use the front door like everyone else?” One demoness with deep blood red skin asked, flipping her long hair back over her shoulder with quick turn of her head. Her wings were purple and tied shut around her with a great ribbon held on by a bow thus hiding her figure. Smaller bows were tied on to her horns, which curved gracefully up in classic demon fashion. She looked like a large present for her wings completely covered her body.

“Doors are for peasants, we are the daughters of a god. We deserve a better entrance than a mere front door.” the most beautiful of the bunch said with an arrogant tone in her voice. She looked like a fallen angel, her hair and wings appearing to have been burned black by great flames and she had no horns or a tail. Her eyes were blue, and her skin was as alabaster. She wore a simple blue frock, but it complimented her figure greatly. She was The Deadly Sin of Pride.

“It would appear we are early.” A green demoness with green hair and green eyes said. Even her wings and horns were green. She wore a green dress, and her figure was not the nicest of her sisters, but it wasn't unpleasant to look at either. A green tail simply hung down behind her. Obviously The Deadly Sin of Envy.

“I should bill Satanfoot for time spent waiting for excitement to begin.” A demoness that appeared to be made out of the finest gold said. Her hair was silver, her horns were bronze and retreated down the back of her head. Her wings were also silver. Her eyes sparkled like diamonds, her lips were as precious rubies. A gold tail swished back and forth in the air behind her. She was pretty, in a materialistic sort of way, having the finest figure money could pay wizards for. There was no mistaking The Deadly Sin of Greed. Satanfoot's property values were tripled for the duration of this party, by Greed's powers alone.

“Oh come now, its not everyday someone openly invites five incarnations of all that is evil and wrong in this world. I mean, look, I even get to see Kyla again!” Calbrena said. Like the demoness all wrapped up like a present, she too was red, but she was a brighter shade of crimson. Her wings, eyes, hair, and horns were all black, but her horns curled down the side of her head, like a ram. Her tail was wrapped around her waist. She was completely average when compared against her sisters.

She grabbed her sister, and pulled her over to Satanfoot, and stood him beside her.

“We thought we'd give you a present for inviting us, so we give to you our dearest sister, The Deadly Sin of Lust.” Calbrena said, then turned to go sit beside Kyla to see what sort of a reaction she'd get from the act.

“Wanna take me to a room and unwrap me? All you see is all I wear.” Lust whispered in his ear.

[The gospel speaks]

Lucien smiled at the five demonesses as the rose from the ground, "It appears there are 5 incredibly seductive women now present. Perhaps I could go job hunting..." he muttered to himself. He yawned and pulled out one of the ceremonial daggers he had strapped to his chest. This one in particular was stained crimson from the blood of a particularly smokin Virgin offering he had made to a previous demon. He lightly pricked his finger on it and drew in the air a symbol from his home world, soon he had a pack floating in front of him. In it were most of his provisions he would need to serve any new masters. Soon he was looking around the party, scowling at the tasteless decor.

[Enigmatic Immortal]

Stephanie watched the newcomers with mixed emotions. A talking stuffed bear with a red pom pom hiding under his bowler hat, what appeared to be a mentally handicapped sheep with yellow wool, a dancing cactus and to her left watching over everything was some really disturbing turtle looking guy with beady yellow eyes, a rusty chef’s knife, and a lantern in dirty brown robes.

Then she saw the world dematerialize as women started showing up, each one a demon of their own representing one of the mortal sins of the human soul. She looked down to the turtle guy, who merely looked to her and shrugged, attempting to poke her with his knife. She gently pushed it aside with a kick, clucking her tongue as she whispered how naughty it was for him to act that way. In return it looked apologetic before standing next to her like a stoic guardian.

She didn’t notice the new guy with a lint puppy, the creature running off before she had a chance to really observe it, but he seemed harmless enough. More confused than anything else really as he seemed out of place. Then again, maybe he fit in just fine, considering the people around her with a mixture of confusion. She kept one weary eye on Sei’s daughters, but they seemed to be in no immediate harm. Still, better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission when knives start flying and tempers start flaring.

“Just you and me, buddy.” She muttered to the turtle, who only nodded once in understanding. With a bored glance she looked out the window behind her to the moon, wondering what Jensen was up to.

~*~*~

Jensen hated being stuck in the cave, and the party he was missing out on was a sure fire way to get some alone time with Kyla. But once again the royal fagot fairy king, Sei Orlouge had stomped on his parade with size twenty-five-E boots. If Jensen went, Kyla wouldn’t get to go. Knowing full well that the mystic mute was a control freak and that his consent ot let her party was a rare occasion the immortal acquiesced to his demands, bowing to Kyla as he offered to sit this one out. She had attempted to protest, but Anita quickly talked her out of it.

Anita was kind of a bitch.

So then Jensen figured he would just sit in his room with Stephanie playing RazeRed, a collectable card game that Stephanie had taught him. The immortal took a particular fond like towards a style of deck that focused on a cute trouble maker cat person, the Neko Cat. Yet even those dreams were dashed when Sei had ordered Stephanie to escort his daughters and act as a chaperon. Now he was bored with no card games, no fellow knights from his order that he wanted to talk to, and no Kyla.

With nothing to entertain him he looked towards the clock, it was midnight, which meant it was a new day. The immortal licked his lips. He had promised Sei with the exact words, “I will not go out tonight,” But midnight marked a new day, and thus it was early morning. He jumped off his bed, tossing his deck of cards behind him as he opened his door to find Adolph standing there, sword in hand and a look of a parent who caught their kids hand in the cookie jar. Jensen’s face complimented his expression, total shock of being the kid who stuck his hand in the cookie jar.

“Going somewhere?” Adolph asked, making it clear as day that the knight had been assigned by Sei to watch Jensen. He really hated the fagot fairy king.

“Perhaps,” Jensen shrugged indifferently, moving back into the room. “I was actually trying to find you since I had a story I wanted to tell you.”

“Oh, this’ll be rich, what story do you have for me?” Adolph rested one hand on the pommel of his sword as he relaxed his shoulders, blocking the doorway with his girth. He wasn’t by any means a large man, but he was definitely muscular and easily a match for Jensen in one on one close quarters.

“Well, it goes like this, you see,” Jensen said leaning back resting one hand on his hip. “I was sparring with Stephanie the other day, right?” Adolph nodded. “Well in the fight she kept jumping in on me, always getting the upper hand. I kept thinking, ‘Jeebus, how the hell do I counter that shit?’ and then it dawned on me!”

“Pray tell, what is this mystical anti-air move?”

“SHORYUKEN!” Jensen shouted, jumping forwards and upwards as his resting hand curled into a tight fist hitting Adolph in the jaw. With all the weight behind his punch the immortal lifted the knight off the ground, both lifting in the air as Jensen spun into him, knocking the bigger man down and over.

Adolph looked up to Jensen, eyes glazing over before he collapsed upon the ground.

Just hold on Kyla, I’m on the way! Jensen thought excitedly as he moved over Adolph’s body and towards the cave entrance.

[Amber Eyes]

Kyla watched the other party-goers enter the room. She enjoyed watching the dynamic change with each new person, and Anita chatted happily beside her. The girls were still trying to thing of the absolute stupidest jokes.

Kyla thought for a moment then began. " Why don’t blind men skydive?"
As she spoke she noticed Calbrena and her sisters appear across the room. Kyla's heart began to race, and she had to pinch herself to make sure she wasn't having a nightmare.

"What's the punch line?" Anita waved her hand in front Kyla's face.

Kyla quickly focused on Anita, not willing to show how upset she was, "Oh, because it scares the crap out of the dog." She laughed as much as she could force.

Anita stilled for a moment, obviously trying to impress them with this one. "Two muffins are sitting in an oven, one of them says 'Whoa it's hot in here.’ The other one says.."

"What the hell does she think she's doing?" Kyla asked as Calbrena began to make her way across the room.

"NO, that's not right, he said "OH CRAP! A TALKING MUFFIN" Kyla heard the roar of laughter as she walked from the room as quickly as she could. She walked a half mile down the road, tears running down her cheeks. She couldn't be around those creatures, she couldn't! She stood there wondering what to do next, then realized she held a bottle of vodka in her hand.

"When all else fails, get drunk." Kyla laughed to herself as she untwisted the lid.

[Silence Sei]

A pounding on the door signaled a surprising turn of events for the party goers. Each of the participants shifted eyes towards the door that was nearly knocked off its hinges with each powerful knock. About the fift time the door was knocked completely out of it's home, and there stood an irate Sei Orlouge, his chest heaved with frustration as he looked to his daughters and friends.

"I want every single Ixian Knight that is in here out. NOW!"

Most of the people did not think twice. Though Anita Orlouge was not typically considered an Ixian Knight, even she slinked out of the room with haste and vigor. Jensen and Kyla stayed behind a bit longer in an effort to show just how defiant of their leader that they could be, but eventually they too slipped out of the house. All that was left was Sei, the moogle, and the host f the slumber party, the man Sei had once enjoyed a good night of karaoke with.

"[i]If you ever invite my people to a party involving alcohol again, I will make sure it is the last time you can breathe through your fat nose and fat mouth. Kyla[i]."The door flew back into the door frame as if lifted through telekinetic powers, and Sei turned himself around. The PK door slammed in the face of the host, punctuating Sei's point.

It wouldn't be the last time Sei Orlouge heard from Satanfoot Blocker.

[Tobias Stalt]

I'm actually totally cool with this being a no judgment. And I'm pretty sure all involved parties won't object.


Satanfoot Blocker gains: 81 Exp and 22 Gold
Amber Eyes gains: 310 Exp and 44 Gold
Silence Sei gains: 220 Exp and 22 Gold
Enigmatic Immortal gains: 370 Exp and 44 Gold
The Gospel Speaks gains: 170 Exp and 44 Gold
Aiko gains: 81 Exp and 22 Gold
Kupo gains: 81 Exp and 22 Gold

Congratulations!

[Lye]

EXP & GP Added!