Pimp My Ride

[Storm Veritas]

He never had much time for the Bazaar. Most of the time the small shops and haggle-houses were strictly a pain in the ass to him, and he felt far too important to be bothered with such cumbersome bothers. Besides, dressed in his fine cut suit and clothes, he was often sought out as a sucker right away, the mark to be hit, the target for the real salesmen. He knew this, which is why he dressed the part of the pauper.

It was loathesome to show up at the bazaar in cotton, the fabric of fools. Worse yet would be to get rooked because of his arrogance, and the diplomat was clearly once bitten, twice shy. Besides, he figured, the people here were barely worthy of an hour of his time. To be pestered by them for appearing poor would stop when they saw his wallet. The risk of being jumped for appearing the part of alcoholic nomad was low, for few would see the face and both fail to recognize him AND think him for a fool.

When he reached the counter, he didn't waste time. He threw back the hood of his -gasp- peasant cloak, standing tall and aloof and aware. It was time for him to deal as a businessman. The man on duty would have to pay attention, for he wasn't the pauper he appeared to be. Paupers couldn't carry themselves with such pride.

"Horses. I need one fast and strong and healthy and young. Something with personality, and a saddle that won't neuter me. What do you have, and what will it cost me?"

Wasting time was clearly not his forte.

[nekoprince]

The horselord's stables were, for possibly the first time in weeks. The elder man moved amoung the wooden stalls, patting some of he horses on their large noses and giving a small cube of suger to one or two. His stablehands had been sick for some time, and he had to hire two more simply to take care of the flith. The old man could say that he hated horses, but their droppings were a diffrent story.

A new man came into the wooden building. The old horsemaster stayed a moment, then went to the counter where he conducted business deals with the customers. Almost all of the horses in the barn were bred by his huidence, and all of them as precious to him as children. Still, both he and his children needed to eat, even if it meant selling one of them to a good man.

"Fast and strong and heathy and young and with personality," the man replied, smiling softly. "Well the saddles are simple enough. Them nuetering ones cost extra anyway. Well I'd enjoy a bit more description than that my friend. Fast and strong and young don't often go together. And the horses I do have that have those I like to keep for breeding. But if you have enough, I'll sell one."

[Storm Veritas]

Storm chuckled as the shopkeep brought in a specialist. These men were typically FAR too comfortable amongst the horses for his liking, and a long ways from being able to communicate with silly creatures like humans. He often hypothesized about the relations of the breeders and their studs, wondering exactly how well they really did know the beasts.

So you don't have many horses that are young and fast and healthy, but you need more details? Did I miss something? What exactly do you want, dork length?

He smiled as he gave his best swing at diplomacy. It was quite good, and he certainly would say so himself. He rubbed his chin as he feigned deep thought, and spoke back to the trainer slowly, in simple words. A piece of him almost wanted the simpleton to pick up on his ribbing, because it would make things interesting, if nothing else.

"See, it doesn't matter so much what he looks like, or even that it's a boy. Find my a filly that rides with some power, can handle a man like me, and we're still ok.

"But I still need a horse that can get me moving in a pinch, and be strong enough for a good two-day trek. We don't need fine breeding, or something divine. Just no retard horses - I don't want the thing chewing at its own ass or forgetting how to run straight."

He hoped the joke would bring a chuckle, but thought inside that the distinct possibility of an insulted horse trainer lashing out at him remained. Whatever.

[Raelyse]

(Not really sure about Horse prices, so this is just my best guess. BTW, covering for Neko since he's on holiday in China.)

It was not often that a young adventurer like this one could bring a laugh out of a old man like this horsemaster, but today he could not help but let out a soft chuckle. When he finished, he swung his head slowly from side to side, his wrinkly skin dancing along with his chin.

"Well, my boy... I think that a horse like that would set you back about 1500 gold pieces."

The old man sighed softly, thinking about all the sick horses and the extra men that were working here. He had two options: charge extra and risk losing the customer or charge less and risk sending the stables into debt. After a brief moment of thought, he decided that he needed to make this sale.

His lips smoothed into a satisfied smile when he realized the answer to his problem.

"Actually... I was thinking about our best horse. He could probably run the shoes off most other horses, he's the pride and joy. 2000 gold pieces with saddle and everything."

[Storm Veritas]

They're trying to take you for a rube.

The fixer that came in under the guise of horse mongerer was much smoother than he let on. Playing along with Storm's admitted ignorance, he chuckled before he proposed a preposterous set of prices. He started high - the price for the gimp mares as high as Veritas had expected to pay for the good one. Wise. Storm knew the art of negotiation, as obviously the stable lord did too. Set the base price at fifteen hundred, the prime rate at two-thousand, and there was no way Storm could offer less than fifteen hundred for the prize.

Well, can't offer less without insulting him. But I can't say I feel much sympathy for a horse-humping dipshit that tries to screw the first rich looking patron that comes through the door.

Storm looked around, obviously gazing over his shoulders mockingly. There was no one there, no one around, and he knew it. He made a point of illustrating this, ensuring his theatrics were appreciated. They were alone.

"Gee, shit.... I guess guys must be banging down your doors for a horse if you're charging prices like that!"

A disarming smile. When he wasn't busy acting the role of puppy-punting sadomasochist, he really could be quite charming.

"I kid, of course, but let's cut through this crazyness. Those useless glue-machines out front aren't worth five hundred, although I do know a good horse can fetch a pretty penny. Obviously I will need a look at this prize beast of yours, but let's meet somewhere...

"I budgeted one thousand for a nice stallion, but I suppose I could pump in an extra two hundred if the horse has balls have as big as you, asking 'Two Kay' for a non-thouroughbred.

"Let's go take a look."

(I have no idea what the prices are either, but wanted to be cute here. Don't get to write many half-assed posts like this anymore.)

[Raelyse]

It was now that the horse breeder felt truly torn. He could not tell whether his new customer was joking or whether he really felt like a horse could really be that cheap. With a smile, he decided it was the former. There was no way a man like this could be that stupid. Could it?

With a smile that reinforced his stance and a chuckle to show he has a sense of humor to boot, the old man stretched out his hand to indicate a path which led to a larger stable.

"That way sir and you can see the best we have to offer..."

[Storm Veritas]

He walked past the pusher towards the stable, half expecting a blackjack to the back of his head for his lowballed offer. Granted, he probably could get the inbred hop-a-long horses for the lower scale price, but if the horse was as fine as he'd hoped, it would serve him just fine for the high-dollar.

It was more than fine.

The large stable and long path were largely unnoticed. The walk was quick, as Storm zeroed in nearly instantly on the prize. Tall, almost noble, and beautiful, one horse dipped his head to eat and then alertly bobbed up to spot the visitors. Veritas noticed the musculature of the black beast, and tried to look unaffected by the strong gait and powerful steed's intelligent disposition. It was worth every piece of 2,000 coins.

Well, beautiful, you'll have to be mine.

The lowball offer would have to change.

"Exceptional" he began, stroking the thick neck of the mighty stallion. "I'll make no secret that this horse needs to ride, needs to be tested. Outstanding. Seventeen hundred!"

His voice chirped a bit at the counteroffer. Had he really said that? Had he lost his mind?

[Raelyse]

For a second, the old men thought about the offer. Then he shook his head softly from side to side and defensively put himself in between his customer and his horse. He ran his hands through the animal's hair, as if to tell it that it would soon be leaving this place. Deep in thought, he sighed softly. It had to be one of them.

But they would not go this easily.

"Nineteen big ones and you get the pick of saddles."

[Storm Veritas]

Storm grimaced. The horse wrangler was a hard bargainer, and had barely budged. Nineteen hundred dollars would devastate his coffers, but he needed the horse. Buyer's regret would come soon after the purchase, it was merely a matter of time.

Screw it.

"Done."

[Raelyse]

(50 EXP. Transaction Complete.)

[Zieg dil' Tulfried]

EXP added, GP deducted!