A Painful World ( Open Battle )

[uttam123]

A Painful World

It was a sweaty morning, there was a flock of birds flinging themselves around a tree trying to get out from the heat, a guinea pig trying to get into his hole but was too fat for it, and one young Gobblestones aka Shade trying to best his long lost despair from his last visit to the dreaded place known as The Citadel. Shade was walking with his head down trying to best the heat and his record. His last visit to The Citadel wasn’t that good so he was trying his best to beat his opponent this time. Shade was walking the streets of Radasanth thinking of techniques and styles to place victory today.

Shade was terrified, his trauma haunted him more then the sun beating down on his face. A kid was pulling on his robe and Shade turned around the hood still covering his eyes shadily. The Kid spoke as if his brain was turning into a knot which strikingly reminded him of his opponent
“Akul’Nik van Chick shaw hin ti balost” He said sadly in Baldumish.
“He needs money because his mom is sick huh?” Shade thought as the kid tugged on his robe.
“Balin te chick de val’kun kiste” Shade said back while he handed him some coins.
“Salim” The kid said as he showed the sign of gratitude in Baldumish and went on his way.

The kid reminded Shade of himself when his mother was sick and on the verge of death, but the young boy did give the elf some reason to win.
“Yes” Shade thought with honor
“I will win for the kid and use the money to save his mom so he won’t have the same fate as me”. Shade then ran to The Citadel with double the excitment and urge for victory then before.

Shade slowed down when he was in the monks' view as it was disrespectful and bowed slowly to each and every one of them. He walked up to the main monk and requested a battle in the grand hall. The battle would be a 1v1 with no rules except you have to stay in the arena. The Monk nodded and showed Shade into the hall. I saw the hall and it astonished me greatly on how elegant and how much virtue it held, it was atleast 40 feet tall and perfect for Shade with many chairs to throw. The monk went back on his way and I sat down on the grand chair and started sharpening my daggers.

After an hour or so he saw a waiter come and serve some food because the wait would be long for an opponent. He opened the magnificent gold striped platter and the view was amazing it was steak and lettuce with a side of aiduna a piece of chicken which held much honor to slums and warriors due its color and designs chefs can do on it. He scarfed the meal down and settled for water instead of the badum milk a sweet type of milk from India. When Shade finished the meal he remembered when he was 12 at the slums of Salvar.


Dream

“Momma momma what do we have for lunch today?” Shade said in a sweet tone trying to suck up for something delicious as they were looking at the passengers and thinking of what lunch was.
“Well” Shades mom said as he picked him up and twirled him around
“we’re going to have steak with a side of lettuce and some sweet aiduna with a drink of badum milk ”.
“Really really momma?” Shade said drooling at the thought.
“Yes son you will get anything in life if you persevere and hope for the best” Shades mom said then she just fell to the side like she’s been dead for a long time. Then Shade just sat there telling his mom to wake up until the doctors pried him off his mom.

Grand Hall

Someone nudged Shade on the side and he suddenly noticed that he was sleeping. It was the waiter walking him up to get the food platter.
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice I was dreaming” Shade said while handing him the platter
“give my props to the chef”.
“Thank you and will do” the waiter replied and went on his way. Shade walked back slowly to the grand chair as he still admired the greatness of the hall with its fine textures and perfect statues of beauty. As he sat down and pulled out his dagger he was thinking
“what a painful dream”. He then started sharpening his dagger, checking his equipment, nurturing his pet all at the same time, finally just waiting for the enemy, and to save a life from meeting his mom.

The rain thudded on the roof, as the entire hall shook and my pet eagle crowed with tightness that showed someone or something was coming arrogantly. Shade calmed his eagle down and got up from the chair. He put the daggers back in there holsters and as he was doing he slowly blew the freezing air to make it form into a pad. He then jumped on the pad of freezing ice and manipulated it so he can fly. He flew up toward the roof glass and saw the rain thudding on the roof. The young elf looked closely and saw trees falling down and thunder crashing on the ground. "I smell death" Shade thought a little scared as he watched the trees falling.

[Silence Sei]

"Avatar of Death, actually," the voice said smugly, entering Shade's head without prior warning, "but that is neither here nor there." Anybody in Radasanth, or even Alerar for that matter, would know who the telepathic 'voice' belonged to; Sei Orlouge. The legendary Hero of Radasanth had come to the citadel looking for that which anyone who enters the citadel looks for, a fight.

Normally, Sei would not stoop to such levels in order to brawl. However, with the Ixian Knights now constantly polic8ing the country of Corone, the crime business had almost flat lined. The balance of power had been tilted in the favor of the righteous and the just, and Sei had made the entire thing possible. It did worry the mute that the lack of evil activity allowed for boredom on the hero's behalf, though.

And that was why he was here.

A friendly fight would be more than enough to sate Sei's hunger for improving himself. Furthermore, a good leader needed to train just as much as his soldiers, and he needed an opponent capable of not holding back. He needed someone who would go all out and not have reservations about attacking a hero. He needed a challenge.

Anita would have been at the mute's side, had he known his foe had a familiar. The girl would be a second pair of eyes to watch out for the man's pet. Sei had left Anita in Sei's Tomb in order to keep himself from being distracted during his altercation. The mute smiled as he looked up at the giant known as Shade. Very rarely did the mute come across somebody taller than his brother, Steppenwolf, but here was living proof that such beings did exist.

The cold wind blew the telepath's white cloth around, trying to tug away from its master with the utmost urgency. When the breeze died down a bit, so too did Sei's unnecessary piece of clothing. The mute's eyes darted around the restaurant, carefully examining everything. The sheer volume of tables and chairs that littered the golden hall seemed to favor the mystic's opponent. Sei grinned at the odds being stacked against him. This fight would be interesting.

"Well then, I suppose we should get started then, huh?" Sei said as if his heart had not committed to the battle yet.

[uttam123]

“A cocky one you are yes?” Shade replied silently from his ice pad slowly flying down from the air. As soon as the pad reached the bottom he jumped off and brushed off the dust off his robe. “The rain stopped thudding on the building so it seems he was the one” Shade thought as he examined Sei closely. Shade whispered something in the eagles ear and it flew threw the open door off into the sky. Shade then whipped a chair around and sat down facing Sei still examining him.
“Wont this be a little unfair on my part my liege?” Shade said half sarcastically but serious.

As Shade sat he was still towering over him but it felt like Sei was taller over him. There was an overpowering aura coming from his direction. Then Shade cloned himself and the clone brought up a chair sat next to Shade in a form of intimidation. Shade was scared, he felt different overpowered and unmatched in all ways. He then used the fast getaway ability to speed himself up and then turned invisible. Shade then quickly pretty much just jumped behind Sei and talked slowly in his ear as a form of intimidation “Sei un jil men cillun pe dshdesh seun”. Shade then undid his speed and invisibility and went back to his seat as though nothing happened, but he thought
” ill tell you what it means at the end” while his head was racing at 1000 mph.

He then took a dagger out and cut his hand. This was a sign of war in dethorian culture and language. The leaves tapped on the glass next to his ear rattling Shade but he made no movements. He was still afraid, almost like part of his body was being detached from him. He remembered his last battle at the Citadel and shivered not a lot but mostly enough for Sei to see. The power scared he was scared almost to death this was not going to be easy. He was the Protector of this place I was almost sure victory was not guaranteed, but Shade did know that he will not give up and Sei wouldn’t win easily, as long Selglend Gobblestones is alive in flesh and blood. The kid was depending on Shade, his mom was depending him, Shades sick sister was depending on this, even the entire slums of Salvar depends on Shade.

With his new found determination he boldly said” we will start when you’re ready” as he got up from the chair and smashed it into the ground. The clone duplicated that and vanished into thin air leaving sparks flowing around Shade. The blood still flowing from his arm through the robe Shade took a drip of it and put it over each of his eyes which means the god of war is with you. Since Shade is very religious he will do whatever a god says. Shade unknowingly took out a photo of his sister and looked at it for a second before putting it back. “No!” Shade screamed in his head I can’t be sentimental at this moment. He sucked it all up took his daggers out of there holsters and then putting them back which in dethorian means “lets have a good match win or lose”.

[Silence Sei]

Sei watched the display of his opponents might. There was a kind of fear that Sei could sense off of the form of the giant. The mere fact that someone so tall would be intimidated by a form such as his made Sei continue to grin. His foe knew his name, but Sei had not the honor of knowing his. The mute felt bad attempting the first strike without such an introduction, but considering the opposing fighter could make a double of himself, turn invisible, and seem to increase his speed (Sei gathering the latter from comparing Shade's descent down from the ice block as opposed to his doppelganger's approach), the feelings of guilt quickly passed.

Sei reached behind his back, withdrawing a three foot long s-shaped blade, and a four foot long, typical looking long sword. The two weapons began to glow an icy blue hue that matched the color of the mystic's eyes. As they did so, a vast amount of webs appeared to take form beside Sei, noting all of the mute's features and copying them exactly. When the blades stopped glowing, a second Sei Orlouge was standing next to the original. The only difference was that this doppelganger was a mirrored image of the mute, his cloth being draped over the left shoulder instead of the right.

"Two against one hardly seemed fair, so I decided to even the odds a bit." Sei smiled, twirling both of the blades as his doppelganger did the same. Without any other warning, the two took off. One dashed to the left, and the other to the right. They ran quickly thanks to the black kung-fu shoes they each wore, and were at the sides of their opponents in no time flat.

The dual Sei's dashed through the dual Shades, making an X-formation as they passed. As the two had dashed by, they had used each of their swords in an attempt to cut the two warriors with two sword strikes each; one from each sword aimed at both warriors’ knees. Both Sei's stopped with their backs to their foe, turning around to see what damage they had done, if any, to the giant men.

It seemed as though Sei didn't particulalrly care what message the cloned Sei had for him.

[uttam123]

Shade snickered as it all happened, how childish the attacks were, how childish he talked, but as they did the entire hall shook with might. Shade wanted to move but he couldn’t he was scared and wanted to run just run, but he sucked all of it up and jumped up while his clone did the same and made himself invisible. He then pulled out his daggers and told the clone to attack the web I got the real one. Shade picked up a chair and threw it at the first Sei as that made magic Shade made an ice sword with dark covering on it that looked like 2 butterflies dancing together in the moonlight.
He then threw that at Sei while the chair was in midair since there was quite a bit of distance between him and Sei. Shade then used the fast getaway attack for a sneak attack at his neck while in invisibility. As all this happened the second clone threw a knife at the web clone and went in for a glittering strike at the heart. As all this happened Sei was frustrated, scared, and felt like he was killing himself while staying in the Citadel. This frustration and sadness was exactly like when he was 17, 2 years ago….

Dream
Shade was kneeling at his sick sister’s bed in the hospital
“why is this happening Flora why now"Shade said tiers flowing with frustration and anger through his hood. Flora replied coughing and wheezing “Its all Gods will little brother, if that’s his will I will not cross it”. Then the doctors took her in while I was forced to let go of her cherry like hands. I was told to go to the head doctor’s office as her only blood relative left. The head doctor explained she had a tumor in her brain that it would not be harmful for life for 4 years and we can cure it, all you need to do is pay the fee and we will start the surgery. “How much will it cost sir” Shade said in sadness as he was dirt poor. The head doctor replied “2000 gold” then left for a meeting as fast as he came here. Shade then left the hospital and turned into an assassin for his dyeing sister.

Grand Hall
For some reason Shade felt a tingle throughout his body, almost like he was never afraid or anything. With his new-found warriors spirit he lunged at him with more spirit then ever.
“Yes” Shade thought
“I will win for everyone sick and in hospitals because they don’t have money for surgery, ill win for the slums, ill win for the kid and his mom, Ill win for my sister”. As Shade thought this he was going out of control almost like he was going berserk. Then he remembered as he was running he yelled out
"Shades the name don’t wear it out”.

[Silence Sei]

Sei watched Shade and his onslaught of projectiles. The man was huge, yes, but his style was severely lacking. As the chair flew at the mystic, he merely brought his sword down with a mighty heave. What had begun as a chair flying towards the mystic had now become several pieces of wood falling harmlessly behind him. Sei's eyes shifted back towards his foe last was, finding himself meeting with an ice sword heading his way.

Sei quickly moved his right shoulder in front of him, the brunt of the blow slamming into his large vlince cloth. While the heavy decorative cloth prevented any true danger to the telepath, the force in which Shade had thrown the weapon slammed into the shoulder of the hero with great force. It wasn't enough to severely injure the Avatar of Alerar by any means, but it would leave a sizable bruise on his shoulder come morning.

The invisibility aspect of this fight was proving a severe hindrance to Sei. The mute sighed, closing his blue orbs in order to sense where the next blow would come from. Sei grinned as he heard the shatter of a thousand mirrors echo throughout the arena. The emptiness in the halls allowed for the cry of broken glass to ring out as if it were a symphony of destruction. When Sei opened his eyes, he was surprised to find that it was actually his Mystic Protection that activated, and not that of his doppelganger.

Shade try for a sneak attack, and it failed. Now he would pay the price. Dozens of glass shards were sent flying across the arena, anything or anyone caught without some sort of shielding would find themselves with a body full of glass. The mute shifted his blue eyes around, trying to find where his doppelganger had gone to. It seemed that Shade being so close to the mystic was currently a low priority on the mighty hero's list.

The clone had been defending himself just as well as his original. He had managed to deflect the knife that the cloned Shade had sent his way, and even managed to activate his own Mystic Protection when the follow-up strike occurred. Neither Shade had hit either Sei with their close range attack. Even more humorous was the fact that both Sei prime and the doppelgangers Mystic Protection spell activated at the same time. Both Sei's had thought that the others activated first, but in all reality, both spells were just timed perfectly.

Let's see how well you go invisible with a blood trail behind you. Sei thought to himself. He was unsure as to whether he had been fighting the clone or the original Shade. Sei grinned as he looked for his opponent, hoping the man had been covered with broken fragments of his trademark spell.

[uttam123]

“I knew it” Shade thought” I’m still too wavered from the last battle, I can’t do anything”. After Shade got marauded by the dazzling crystal glass stabbing me everywhere of my body He put his 2 daggers on the ground by there tip and pulled himself up. He had will enough to never give up even if his brain is rattled or he is near the verge of meeting his mom and dad.

He undid the clone and invisibility, then proudly bolstered ”No matter what you do Sei I will not go down and you cant make me even with your dyeing will, Ill take on 100 of your clones and win”. Shade had a few tricks up his sleeve. Shade threw 5 of his throwing knives with the lambent martyr trick on them. His eyes started glowing more lambent.

This seems like a one-sided battle, not from Sei just Shade. At the thought of this Shade lost all remaining hope except a flicker of might imbued in his heart forever. Shade looked up at the chandeliers’, lights’, and tables dancing around the grand hall. How beautiful they were and how difficult, afraid, and ashamed Shade felt. Shade was thinking his brain working at 1000 mph how he could win when he can sense him and protect against his attacks. It seemed he needs more skill or power to win against a pretty much god.

Shades emotions over took him he was no longer in control of himself. Shade could see himself but in a more serious death-like way, The Dark Lord. Shade saw himself move much faster then usual he got up close to Sei threw a strike at his left leg then pretty much teleported and hit him everywhere possible. Shade didn’t know how many is shield protected or how many hit but all The Dark Lord cared about right now was rage, paga, sithin.

The dark licked the sides of his daggers and called the skill 100 hits of death. He then swirled around tore his robe off showing a 6-pack and steel chest plate “The battle has just begun, maybe that sentimental Shade was scared of you but too me you’re just filthy trash” Shade or more precisely the Dark Lord said in a deep, terrifying voice that shook the hall.

[Silence Sei]

Sei looked to his opponent, glass shards covering his body. As the mute listened intently to the words Shade spoke, he raised an eyebrow at the assassin. Sei Orlouge never killed unless he absolutely had to. Taking someone’s life in a citadel fight was below the mute, who held the value of life to a much higher standard. Sei reached out towards Shade, offering him his hand when the warrior threw several daggers at him.

Sei quickly brought his vlince cloth back over his form, taking three of the close ranger hits to the rib. Once again, the damage was miniscule, but annoying none the less. It would become a much harder fight with bruised ribs. When Sei lowered the cloth from his head, he found that his white cloth had been stained with a purple substance. The foul odor that now etched into Sei's nose immediately let the mystic know the origin of the mysterious liquid.

Poison.

Sei quickly unclasped the buttons that held the protective cloth to his right shoulder. With the clone of shade gone, the secondary Sei had quickly rejoined his original, his own white cloth remaining perfectly fine due to not being attacked with a low-down trick. Sei's eyes focused as something seemed to change in his opponent, he became darker, more sinister as it were.

Then, the man struck. Seeming to possess powers he did not have before, the man known as Shade began to teleport and launch a melee assault upon the mute. Sei quickly brought his swords up to try and deflect the blows, managing to catch most of them with the flats of his blade. What Sei could not defend against, his doppelganger had him covered, keeping his back to Sei prime's in case The Dark Lord tried a flanking attack.

By the time the one hundred blow beat down had ended, the two Sei's remained. They were tired, but aside from Sei's few bruises, relatively uninjured. Sei was getting quite tired of his opponent and his excessive use of guerilla tactics. Closing his eyes, Sei began to focus, a light grin spreading across the face of his doppelganger.

From the ground sprouted two strands of seaweed, each of them attempting to bind The Dark Lord by the wrists. If this was to happen, then the second effect of Sei's 'Octopus' Garden' spell would take effect, raining large rocks for roughly eight seconds at the form of Sei's foe. The doppelganger Sei quickly shot outwards from his position, finding himself behind The Dark Lord. If the evil being was to somehow escape the rather fast seaweed, Sei's double would be there to pick up the slack.

"The battle never started. If you'd like, I could go all out, but I sincerely doubt one of your current power would last long," Sei spoke, the truth in his words meant to be hurtful. Memories of how easily Sei had dispatched his adoptive daughter Kyla in a previous fight began to swirl around the mute's head. Sei didn't really want to repeat such a one-sided victory.

[uttam123]

Srry havein a bleach moment so that’s where dark lord showed up

The Dark Lord laughed and slowly snickered “uninjured? You have poison that will weaken you, sap your energy, and make you nauseas real soon, then as an additional bonus my guerrilla tactics will tire you out and you’ll fall down from exhaustion real soon”. Shade didn’t like this he was becoming to unstable in the Dark Lords way of tactics, if the Dark Lord became to unstable he’ll become to reckless and get obliterated, then he couldn’t see anymore the Dark Lord had cut him off, now this might be the end Shade thought in the last few seconds.

“Do you think I’m a fool filth? Go ahead and release that power of yours its nothing but trash just like you” The Dark Lord replied bluntly.

The Dark Lord made an ice pad and jumped on it to escape the growing seaweed, then froze the seaweed and jumped on it and crumpled it like paper. The Dark Lord jerked his head and saw the clone of Seis the Lord used the dark power in him then formed a circle from the dark heart of his to form a circle around him. So if the clone would attack he would bounce back not being able to touch me.

The Dark Lord bounced back and got ready for another strike but with a twist. The Dark Lord made of clone of himself using his dark power, ice power, and regular duplication, with a total of four of himself. They all rushed in against Sei daggers armed ready for 4 100 hits of death. When they got close enough they slashed everywhere for 400 hits and then rushed back while turning back into the real one. The Lord smiled as he completed his mission and just had to wait until he knows if they hit or not. The Dark Lord stepped to the side as a chandelier fell from the ceiling and crashed right next to him, he then sat down on a chair elegantly waiting for the next episode.

Shade was lost deeply in his own mind, concentrating on his deep soul, trying to get his vision back, and then looked deeply into his over thrown mind and saw what happened. “Oh no” Shade thought “I have to get my body back soon”. He then fell into slumber forced by the Dark Lord his last thoughts echoed his rippling brain” Sei please win”.

The Dark Lord just sat there snickering and waiting for a reply from the piece of trash.

[Silence Sei]

I'm assuming that by making 4 clones, all of them are much weaker than the creator. The RoG wouldn't have let you get away with anything more.

Sei's attempt to bind and defeat his foe had ended in failure. Now, the Dark Lord was busy conjuring up more clones to aid him in the mystic's defeat. It seemed as though this man was a one-trick pony; relying heavily on the attacks of doppelgangers in order to achieve his means. Sei's own copy joined his side once more, the two of them looking to one another and nodded.

It was obvious the first blows were going to come from each direction. It would have been stupid not to have placed a doppelganger in each area around the mute. As the clones disappeared, Sei jabbed the tips of his swords to the east and west of his form, while his doppelganger pierced the north and south, using his long sword to jam underneath the original Sei's armpit to take care of the danger straight ahead.

Sei smiled as he heard the satisfying sound of blade meeting flesh. Each of the clones created by the Dark Lord had completely missed even the first attack of their one-hundred blows technique. This was mostly due to the fact that the ends of both Sei's swords had ran through the clones, making any further assault null and void against the mystic. Sei looked to his own doppelganger and nodded, the double-image of the mute slowly fading back into webs, and then into nothingness, as if he had never existed.

Sei looked to his foe, which seemed unmoved by the fact that he had not landed a single damaging blow while attempting four hundred simultaneous strikes. Smiling, Sei cracked the knuckles on each of his hands, followed by each side of his neck. "Know what I like about you supremely evil types? You always seem to think us heroic types are below you. You think you can enrage me with your taunts and your jests? You're severely mistaken."

Before Sei could Sei any more, the mute was directly behind the Dark Lord, his long sword attempting to dive into the man's spine. It wasn't meant to be a killing blow, but if Sei had hit the upper back of his opponent in the way he had intended, then the Dark Lord would instantly become paralyzed. Without any control over his body, the fight would be over. Sei was trying to win while still not killing his foe, the only difference now was that the mute was actually using some of his incredible speed.

[uttam123]

Yes they are weaker


The Dark Lord snickered as he saw the death of his clones one-by-one he then bolstered “I guess some pawns are not good enough for you Mr. Protector, so lets handle this man-to-man”. The Dark Lord got stabbed by Seis sneak attack, but then just vanished into glittering shards in the moonlight. The real Dark Lord un-invis himself and showed himself a few meters away from Sei. “You see” the Dark Lord said taunting Sei “I made the clone after I was walking back then invis myself while you were busy with the other ones, just a little precaution I picked from the Ixxian Knights”. “I don’t think of you attention hungry hero-types as under us, I just have an Underworld to protect” the Dark Lord said bluntly as he made a chair of freezing ice “like a king” The Dark Lord simply said.

Shade was tired of all the war and fights, all the damn witty jokes and all that shit in a nutshell. Shade was done he wanted his body back, so he calmly meditated and searched deep inside his soul for an answer.

The Dark Lord felt pain deep inside his heart, he jumped up from the chair grabbing his head and soul, screaming in pain he kneeled on the floor and said “This is my body, not yours Shade” he said seemingly to himself.

Shade heard the screaming pain of the Dark Lord; “this was not enough” he thought “he needed more pain to get his entire body back”. “This body is mine Dark Lord” Shade said to the Dark Lord in his body.

“Shade you fool I could win this battle for you, we could have all the power we need” the Dark Lord begged in pain still kneeling a small crack of light showing in his head and eyes.

“I will not win if it happens by your cheap parlor tricks Lord” Shade said screaming for more power to get his half-giant body back.

“This is not how it’s supposed to go” the Dark Lord cried shaking and gleaming light showing even more “Die Shade die trying to kill me”.

Shade was in half control of his body now and he was mad, angry, and plain tired of all the crap going on in himself.

The Dark Lord stopped glowing and fell down on he floor still mumbling to himself.

Shade thought in his burning head “Now!!”

The Dark Lords body hovered in the air for a while and then furiously hit the walls of the grand hall and fell down under the tables and chairs that fell in the process. A gleaming light showed from the body under the chairs and tables, the light bursted into all directions and pierced the grand halls walls. The chairs flew everywhere breaking and busting themselves up.

One half-giant elf fell from the light. The young elf laid on the floor motionless, close to death, but half-giants don’t die easily.

Srry if I power gamed I rlly don’t care in my vision lol The Dark Lord was supposed to be a cheater aka powergamer but its a small sacrifice for a big win i guess, I don’t want this to be a finish but if ur tired of this battle it can be a finish if u want.

[Silence Sei]

It was a good trick, though Sei had absolutely no idea what the Dark Lord had been trying to say. All he understood was that he had hurt the wrong form, and now the man was having some sort of inner battle with himself. Sei stepped back and widened his eyes as he watched his opponent grab his own soul.

There's something I've never seen before.

When the internal struggle had completed, the body of Shade fell amongst the scattered tables and chairs that littered the area. Sei sheathed his swords as he looked to the body of the warrior, slowly walking over to him. The mute kneeled down and offered his hand to the possibly unconscious body of Shade. If the assassin was still awake from his self-encounter, then Sei would help him back to his feet.

Sei was a warrior, leader, and a great strategist, but he had never been one to finish a downed opponent. Furthermore, the fact that this man seemed to have a darker side to his being seemed to interest Sei even more. The whole 'fighting the inner demon' shtick quickly reminded Sei of his friend William Arcus, and his closer friend, Logan. Sei had a knack for helping people discover themselves while fending off their evil ways, especially in citadel fights. This was no exception.

"Are you ok?"

[uttam123]

Still unconscious Shade was quickly reminded that life will lead to death no matter which way you take just some are faster then others. Maybe this is the end Shade thought slowly remembering all the greatness in his life and forgot them.

Shade then heard footsteps toward him, *sigh* it must be Sei walking to finish him off. Shade heard a voice calling out “are you ok?”. As soon as Shade heard that he grabbed his stomach twisting and turning. The Dark Lord suddenly turned conscious and said “This body is still mine it will never be-“.

Shade turned conscious and said “I will not even let a foul creature like you even utter my name”. Shade used his entire strength and pulled the Lord attempting to send him out of his body forever, but all he could do was lock him in his emotions. Shade was safe for now but he could become the Dark Lord any moment.

Shade got conscious his brain functioning like a rusty bolt. He started breathing heavily, coughing, wheezing, and gasping for his life.

Shade saw a blur a hand pushed out against him; he grasped the hand and slowly pulled himself up still coughing. He let go of his hand and fell on a chair, then slowly extracted himself in a right position.

“Thank you Sei Orlouge” Shade said gasping for words “I’m indebted to you until my dyeing breath”.

Shade then spoke these words slowly “shall we continue our battle after I catch a few breaths?”. After Shade said this, his own emotions started relaxing and Shade smiled a bit afterwards still awaiting a response.

[Silence Sei]

Sei crossed his arms, looking at his opponent. Shade had a great amount of tenacity, that was for sure. The mute shook his head towards his foe. "In all honesty, I don't believe you're in much of a condition to fight at the moment. I wouldn't want another situation where you become possessed once more due to fatigue." The mute grabbed a nearby chair, a brown fold-out that seemed to have a tear in its leather seat due to the collateral damage created by the battle.

"As far as being indebted to me, you do not have to be. I'm merely doing my duty, and besides, it was you who overcame your demon, not I." Sei looked around the arena as if he expected somebody to appear. Reaching down to his side, Sei removed a chakram from his hip, holding it tightly for several moments. As if he were summoned, a man wearing a tuxedo with a very thin mustache approached the two.

The man had not said a word, but instead placed a pink and white whipped cream frosting cake on the table closest to the warriors. Sei smiled and put the chakram back in its holdster as he looked to Shade. "Now, lets discuss some possible opportunities I may have for one such as yourself...."

((Conclusion post. Ending my portion because ICly, it's what Sei would do at this point. Good fight, man.))

[uttam123]

Shade listened to the man closely and waited until the end until he replied “I can fight, I may be just a mere assassin but I have the will of a king” Shade said as cleared his mouth and continued “That demon is locked away, it will never come out unless my emotions go over at a damaging level”.

Shade got up and staggered a little to the left side then sat back in the chair seeing that it is not safe enough to walk now. “Opportunities? What opportunities are there for one like me?” Shade asked replying to the last question with his head down in sorrow.

“Yes anyways I am indebted to a person such as yourself, if you didn’t kill me when I was down and fighting for my life back that is almost mirroring something like saving my life” Shade licked his crimson like lips and continued again “If I may, I would like to say that I want to quit the Underworld and change my life as a hero not a villain, please if any opportunity I would like to join the Ixxian Knights” Shade said boldly as he stood up and bowed down when asking.

Shade straightened himself up and sat back in the chair grabbing his stomach with one hand, but his glowing eyes still focused on his savior.

Shades eyes glowed eyes blue, his palms reddened then turned cold blue like frostbite, and he moved his arms slowly and made a plate with the last bit of magic power.

Shade pointed the plate toward the cake and spoke softly “may I have some cake to cool myself off” he said strained from the excessive use of his ice-power.


I think Sei might post after this but if not my spoils are here...

Spoils:
-Nickname change from Shade to Pain ( not really spoil just telling everyone lol)
-Mpd aka Multiple Personality Disorder- In this battle he got another personality known as the Dark Lord, It makes him eviler, stronger, faster, and reckless-er he will die soon. It happens when his emotions are overloaded. He will die faster with constant brain interruptions from Pain which makes him get hit more in battle. ( hoping ull accept )
-DKM aka only in Dark Lord Mode- 100 hit strike of death, one hit to a pressure point then reckless 99 hits.
- Armor change: Change from black cloak to white cloak which has engraved on the back Solitude which was found at the edge of the hall during his wait for the opponent

Might be alot but 1 isnt a spoil , 1 is only in a mode , 1 is not much of a skill more of a disease as said lol. Hope you will accept!

[Taskmienster]

A Painful World :: As requested, I’ll be giving full commentary with the full rubric. I’ll make notes at the bottom instead of putting them into each category, which makes it easier as I go as well as more organized. Sorry for the wait.



Continuity Sei :: 4 || Uttam :: 2

Setting Sei :: 3 || Uttam :: 1

Pacing Sei :: 6 || Uttam :: 1

Dialogue Sei :: 5 || Uttam :: 1

Action Sei :: 6 || Uttam :: 0

Persona Sei :: 5 || Uttam :: 1

Technique Sei :: 5 || Uttam :: 1

Mechanics Sei :: 6 || Uttam :: 2

Clarity Sei :: 7 || Uttam :: 2

Wild Card Sei :: 5 || Uttam :: 0

I put as many comments as I could without repeating myself over and over. The same issues that I noted in the first few posts by Uttam were continued throughout the entire thread. Other than that, please remember that you have to stick to the abilities and powers that you were approved with. There was too many accounts of powergaming to not bring up. In the seventh post, you did something that was too overpowered to have been an approved ability for someone 20 times your level. I can’t ignore it. Don’t do that again.


Score: Sei :: 52 || Uttam :: 11


Rewards:
Sei :: 3000 exp | 50 gold
Uttam :: 300 exp | 50 gold
((I am allowing the name change, but everything else is not allowed. If you want to have the split personality, you’ll have to wait till you get to the next level and have it approved (but it won’t be the way it is now as it’s too overpowered). The attack is also way overpowered and not allowed. If you want the cloak color changed, you’ll have to go buy it, because there is no reason for it to have changed in this battle.))


Notes



:: “It was a sweaty morning, there was a flock of birds flinging themselves around a tree trying to get out from the heat, a guinea pig trying to get into his hole but was too fat for it, and one young Gobblestones aka Shade trying to best his long lost despair from his last visit to the dreaded place known as The Citadel.” :: I have a few notes for this – First, remember that it’s good to use synonyms, but make sure they are appropriate for what they are related to. The use of “sweaty” before morning doesn’t make sense… because I’m not sure how an environment could be displayed as “sweaty”. Perhaps you mean humid, or some other synonym like that. The second one that stood out was “flinging”, which makes more sense than the last, but still other words such as “darting around a tree” or “fluttering around” would be much clearer.

Second, I don’t know what a Gobblestone is. Third, try and refrain from using words such as aka because they’re low diction in writing. When you are writing it is better to write out the word, aka would be “also known as” for example. Fourth, this was a really long sentence that was a run-on. It could have been easily split up, separating the parts of the setting from the character aspect.

:: “Shade was walking with his head down trying to best the heat and his record.” :: You used “best” the correct way, but used it twice in two sentences back to back. Be careful to try not to overuse the same word so close each time.

:: “Shade was walking the streets of Radasanth thinking of techniques and styles to place victory today.” :: You need a comma after “Radasanth”, plus the parts after where the comma belongs doesn’t make much sense. I’m not sure what you mean by “to place victory”.

:: The made up language, I understand you wanted to do something that was something for your character… but when you don’t really explain anything about what’s being said (for the most part) then it’s impossible for the reader to really understand or know what’s going on with the dialogue.

:: “The battle would be a 1v1 with no rules except you have to stay in the arena.” :: In a narrative setting, this is out of place. If this was dialogue, it would make sense because it would be explaining what your character wants. However, there are a couple other things that are out of place. “1v1” should be one verse one, or one on one instead because it’s again an informal mistake. Also, when you use “you” in writing it makes it more second person and stops you from writing in the third person. Which is a mistake.

:: “I saw the hall and it astonished me greatly on how elegant and how much virtue it held, it was atleast 40 feet tall and perfect for Shade with many chairs to throw.” :: You used “I” and “me” which is a use of first person, instead of third. Also, you put “40” instead of spelling it out like it should be.

:: Before the dream, you have a paragraph about sitting at a table and having a waiter. Is that part of the arena setting? After the dream, I’m not sure where certain things came from… such as the pet eagle. Furthermore, your use of the ice manipulation to create a platform to fly on and move around on is overpowered. You’ll have to be careful only to use small ice manipulation type things, otherwise it’s too strong.



:: “with the Ixian Knights now constantly polic8ing the country of Corone,” :: policing had an 8 in it…

:: “And that was why he was here.” :: “here” is present tense.




:: “He then used the fast getaway ability to speed himself up and then turned invisible.” :: You don’t have an invisibility ability.

:: “The power scared he was scared almost to death this was not going to be easy.” :: I’m really not sure what this sentence means… at all really. I tried to make sense of it, but I could only think that you meant to write that the power scared [him] almost to death.

:: “He was the Protector of this place I was almost sure victory was not guaranteed, but Shade did know that he will not give up and Sei wouldn’t win easily, as long Selglend Gobblestones is alive in flesh and blood.” :: You used I, which is again first person, instead of using Shade. And I assume Gobblestone was the kid? The confusion in the first post, is almost clarified here, but not enough to really understand yet who Selglend is.




:: First and foremost, I must comment about the opening to the post, before the dream. I saw that you were trying to do too much at once… if you react too much, or try and create too much action at once, it makes it really hard for your opponent to respond. Try and keep it simple, go with an attack and move and leave it at that. Otherwise, you’ll be throwing too many attacks without allowing your opponent to respond.

:: “As all this happened Sei was frustrated, scared, and felt like he was killing himself while staying in the Citadel.” :: Saying what your opponent was like is considered bunnying. You can’t control your opponent, or another players character, without their permission. That includes movements, wounds caused, words spoken, or emotion expressed… unless those were things that they said and you were responding to it from your perspective.

:: “This frustration and sadness was exactly like when he was 17, 2 years ago….” :: You need to spell out the numbers instead of putting them in numerical form.

:: ["Shades the name don’t wear it out”.] :: Try to avoid cliché phrases such as these.

[Taskmienster]

Exp and Gp added.