Eventful Quest Where Tribulations Are Eventually Overcome By Good!

[Izvilvin]

Corone was home to many people. Humans, elves, dwarves, and all manner of sprite and faerie and whatever other races people have been creating since 2006. I guess that includes a lot of half-angels and people who are several hundred years old.

The southeasternmost tip of the island, however, was home to a strange city by the name of McCain Superfries. Inspired by this opening post's writer's insatiable hunger, McCain Superfries was a beautiful town that was nonetheless one of Corone's less popular tourist attractions. The streets were paved with multicolored rocks and debris, so next to a rainbow of pebbles you may see the remains of an old Corone census lodged in there.

McCain Superfries had undergone a strange transformation in recent history, however. The generally-happy citizens had become... happier, in a sense. Like mewing cats in a New York alleyway, they were in heat. The city's governor, Bear Billy, was nowhere to be seen - it was rumored that he was holed up in his keep, a thirty-foot-high tower of unremarkable appearance. How boring.

Izvilvin was sent to the town by a posting in a Radasanth bar:

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The people of McCain Superfries are ridiculously horny all of a sudden.
Find out why so that we can teach our women.
Thanks!
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That wasn't the only problem, however. It appeared to Izvilvin that the citizens' constant boning had brought the town's temperature up to dangerous levels. He could feel his armpits begin to sweat, and he was getting that gross feeling where the sweat mixes with your armpit hair and you keep drying it with your shirt but it doesn't help and then your shirt gets stained and you don't live at home anymore so your mom can't wash it for you and I PAID FIFTEEN DOLLARS FOR THAT SHIRT.

Also there was a crop issue, but that wasn't the focus of the quest.

[Jalim Mandren]

McCain Superfries. Apparently some phenomenon or other was happening here, something that wasn't the awful colours of the city's buildings, paving stones and even trees. Leaves of green, though brighter than natural, were not so commonplace as blue or red or turquoise. Guiding his horse through the city gates, the Warder was sure that was a bush with pink leaves to his left. Pink! Surely it was his eyes playing tricks.

He'd come to McCain to investigate the strange phenomenon himself, at the order of Mathwain. She refused to come along, not explaining why. All the information Jalim had was that there seemed to be an unnatural 'season' here. Well, it was certainly a lot, lot warmer than Underwood. But not far enough south to make a difference; looks like Mathwain was right.

As Jalim moved further into the city, he saw the temperature was not the only oddness. Women from all walks of life were wearing clothes entirely unsuitable, showing far too much bosom, or skirts and dresses showing far too much thigh. They all moved with a predator's hunger, their cheeks too red for even heavy powderings of rouge. One even walked up to the Warder in a solicitous fashion, exclaiming over his thick arms and broad shoulders. Jalim had to push her away before the woman - possibly a noble of some sort - did something she regretted. Maybe she was drunk? Could they all be drunk?

Where were all the men? There were far too few men on the streets. Another peculiar thing that needed to be fathomed out.

And the smell! The air was thick with it, tasted of it. What was going on here?

[Xos]

Xos moved towards the city of McCain Superfries with anticipation. It had been some time since he had been used in a thread, and was afraid he'd be locked away in the dark place where his writer's other forgotten and discarded ideas and concepts go. Such was not to be as he suddenly found himself walking up the dirt road to the city..

His memories told him he'd been simply traveling from library to library trying to unlock the secrets of the universe, but he knew the truth, at least in the vicinity of this city he did. He'd simply been set aside as his writer focused on his other characters.

“Where am I going?” Xos asked no one in particular.

“I don't really know. But I'm sure if you wait somewhere public, the others will have them find you soon enough.” A whispering voice said in Xos's head.

“Omni? Is that you?” Xos asked the voice in his head.

“No. Though it is true that Omni exists everywhere, I am not the Omni. I am a voice you've never heard, I am your writer. Due to the nature of this thread, I can actually talk to you. But enough about that. Just keep going.” the voice said.

“What's your name then?” Xos asked.

At that point a group of women accosted Xos, rather conveniently. He could feel the temperature raised, and with the way the women were groping him, that wasn't all that was raising. He quickly erected an energy shield around himself and forced his way through. Of all the times to be married.

He discovered after a moments thought about the situation, that he had heard the story of this town while taking a break from his studies in this tavern. Knowing someone with a analytical mind would be needed, he had quickly set off.

“Perhaps its something in the water, or in the air. Altered food is also a possibility. Regardless, I can't do this alone, and the writer's voice did say something about others finding me. I guess I'll go wait in that tavern over there, named 'The Thirsty Goblet'. Goblet, I know its a cup, but it makes me think of a young child goblin too. I wonder if they call their young goblets. I'll have to find out someday when I have nothing better to do. Which means I'll never find out of course.” Xos thought to himself.

So finished, he entered the tavern, and was not in the least bit surprised to find it smokey, and filled with drunks. The booth in the dark corner was unoccupied, and since it was the most cliché place he could think of to meet other people who were concerned about this situation, he took it and waited.

[Izvilvin]

Izvilvin spent a small amount of the time examining the town for the purpose of a decent Setting score.

Along with the multicolored roads and trees, the buildings themselves seemed to be constructed out of some unusual metal. Grey and glassy, it reminded the drow of Fallien's cillu metal, of which he had a pair of weapons. The leader of this town, or some past leader, must have been rich indeed in order to construct all of the houses this way.

But why was the tower so boring? It was made of smooth white stone, and had no windows or decorations. The only point of interest was an enlarged, pink tip. How odd. How innapropriate! Because it wasn't made of glass like the other buildings. Also it looked like a penis.

"Alloooooooooooooooooooooo!" cood some woman from his left. Izvilvin had been standing, transfixed by the strange tower and the town's other features, and hadn't even noticed her. She was sweating and her hair was matted to her forehead, and a purple dress hung off of her as if it were many sizes too large.

He nodded to her as she approached, but began to speed-walk ahead of her. She was wearing heels, and comically tripped up every time she took a step. This road of colorful pebbles and garb- I mean debris, was not made for such footwear.

Eventually Izvilvin came across that pub that Xos mentioned. Then he went inside. The corner booth jumped at him. Figuritively!

Stepping through a smog of smoke, coughing lightly as he waved his hands before him, Izvilvin came across Xos. "You are not from here," he said, noting the man's clothing and lack of a woman on his lap.

[Jalim Mandren]

The town itself wasn't what bothered Jalim. It was the women - he was sure the smell came from them. A fertile scent that reminded him of youthful days. Well, nights actually; such activities had proven difficult since becoming a Warder. Too often had he been sent in service of Mathwain. Service?

"Yeah! You know, service me hot stuff!" The woman in front of the foreigner wore a dress that was now torn and filthy, revealing far too much flesh. She limped as though just finished a three-day horse journey when unused to the saddle. She laid a hand on Jalim's arm, stroking softly, purring as she did. "Such strong arms."

Jalim walked away, flustered from such forward propositions, or tried to. The woman followed and tried her damndest to latch herself to the man. If the Warder was a few years younger... Well, he could have right there. A feeling of disapproval swept over him - the bloody bond he had with Mathwain had never grated before; it certainly did right then.

The cobbles must have hurt the woman when Jalim was forced to push her to the floor. She looked up at him and smiled with a devilish glint in her eye. Lifting the hem of the dress to show a little too much thigh, she managed to look both out of breath and full of energy all at once.

Jalim turned a corner and caught sight of a man going into what must have been an inn or tavern - where else would an investigative quest start? - the cloud of smoke spread quickly into the street. Definitely the Warder's type of establishment!

He dug into a pocket and felt the pipe and tabac pouch ready to be smoked. The tavern was full of drunken men, each proclaiming the multiple conquests of the day. Probably explained why they were all sat down.

There! In the corner! Dark, solitary... Sober! That was the 'square one' Jalim wanted to find. He stalked the distance of the common room. When a drunk jumped from his stool in protest of being bettered, Jalim grunted as the top of the stool hit his knee. Just great! Now I'll be limping like these fool men, as though I've spent too long in bed.

"As great as it is to be offered unmentionable acts, these women need help." Jalim looked at the two men - one of them was man he had seen - with as serious an eye he could manage while trying to ignore one of the large tales.

[Xos]

Xos watched the drow approaching him, appraising the newcomer as he drew near. Clearly he was a warrior of some sort. From the way he carried himself, and the sureness of his steps, it was clear he was experienced and had more than one story he could tell of his adventures in the world. Perhaps if Xos had spent more time out of the library, he would have heard something of this man, but Xos had been concentrating on other matters.

“You are indeed correct sir, and it seems that other fellow behind you who just banged his knee on a stool is also not from this town. Allow me to introduce myself, I am Dr. Xos Xilanthese, I am a wizard, and a scientist. My primary course of study is the greater secrets of the Multi-verse, which is where my powers lay. Upon hearing of this situation, I immediately knew an analytical mind like mine would be needed, and so set out to offer my services and help cool the heightened ardor this town is feeling.” Xos said.

He gestured at the other seats in the booth, for them to sit. Then he waved his hand across the table, and caused a sheet of parchment to come into being, a cheap quill, and pot of ink. He wasn't sure what else he should do, or could do at the moment, so he proceeded to the next logical step.

“It's clear that as the only three level-headed people in this town, we'll have to work together to resolve this mystery. As such, we should pool our knowledge, and figure out what we do and where we go next. Now, we do know one thing for certain, this town is far more lustful than normal. This has caused the side effect of increased temperature. Do we know anything else note worthy?” Xos asked, having opened the ink pot and holding the quill at the ready.

“I should note that until the primary cause is known, we should avoid eating or drinking anything from this town. If it's in the air, then we'll need to be extra cautious. Additionally, sexual intercourse with the locals is out of the question, especially if this condition can be spread via such activities. Not that I can have sex with the locals, I'm married.” Xos added, indicating some precautionary measures to insure they weren't affected with this condition as well.

[Izvilvin]

Izvilvin tried his best not to let his eyes cross as Xos spoke. Perhaps the warrior would have best served to tell the wizard that common was not his first language.

It was an interesting name, however. Xos almost had the pronunciation of a drow word. He accepted the introduction with a polite smile and nod, sliding into the booth. The plush crimson seat, at least, was comfortable. Jalim, Izvilvin quickly noted, was a young human man. Xos was even younger, but had the eyes and speech of a man who might long to be older.

"I am Izvilvin," he said. "I heard of this town and its problems while in Radasanth. I hope that we can help this place."

Izvilvin was a creature of instinct and action, rather than a man with a scientific or analytical mind. He saw things for what they were and didn't consider much beyond that. Because of this, he didn't offer any insight for Xos, offering instead a resigned shrug.

He then proceeded to do what he was more versed in - he listened and looked. The tavern was dimly lit, and what light was provided by the windows was dulled by the thick smoke. The men of this pub were smoking from hookas and exhaling the smoke comfortably; many of them lay back in a relaxed position, but many others looked uncomfortable for some reason.

"I notice there are no women here," he said. "If they are so eager for men, why would they not crowd where all of the men are?"