Loosen Up

[Atzar]

We take ourselves too seriously here on Althanas at times.

So, I'd like to propose a new event: we roast one member each month (with his/her consent and according to his/her rules). It's really that simple.

I'll sit in the chair first. Hit me.

[SirArtemis]

You're a furry bastard!

And your paws are too big!

And you're considered a rodent! That's gotta stink!

Which reminds me, you stink too!

[Wolfman 20]

You're a furry bastard!

And your paws are too big!

And you're considered a rodent! That's gotta stink!

Which reminds me, you stink too!

That, plus no one really knows who or what you are. So who would make a big deal if you vanished? jk. but really, who here without looking it up, knows what Atzar's picture is of.

[Letho]

It's a capybara. Without looking it up.

EDIT: Atzar, you goddamn hypocrite. There you are, in that other thread, protesting against furry sex, and yet you do it on a daily basis. :P

[Atzar]

Rofl. Good start, good start. Even though wolfman embarrassed himself - I think almost everybody on the site knows what my avatar is, hahaha.

No limits, though. Take shots at my avatar, my characters, me personally, anything. Let's see what you fuckers got.

[Revenant]

I'd say something funny about your big nose, but frankly your picture fills me with the overwhelming desire to hug you.

*hugs*

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Zirkan? Atzar? Clearly you're too fond of the letter Z!!

um.

That's all I got. ._.

[SirArtemis]

Zirkan? Atzar? Clearly you're too fond of the letter Z!!

um.

That's all I got. ._.

Polly want a capybara?

Side note. Atzar's ice magic is so weak, he might as well be hired for a restaurant to make ice cups for drinks. I'd like a sprite please... noob.

[Atzar]

Don't fuck with the people who handle your food. Have you seen "Waiting"?

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Oh, and your silly dragon always disappears midthread!

Also a pet capybara would be pretty great...hmmm. Okay, Atzar is now officially my pet! :D SIT, BOY. DOWN! ROLL OVER. PLAY DEAD.

Okay now keep doing that last one. :3

[Letho]

Polly want a capybara?I don't think so. If I'm reading her post in that other thread correctly, she's not all that into furries. Sorry, Atzar. No redheads for you! :eek:

[Atzar]

*dead*

Damn it, Letho! Why do you get all the redheads? Selfish bastard!

[Letho]

Then again, I had been wrong before.

[Revenant]

*Capybara CPR*

Don't you die on me you furry, magnificent bastard!

[SirArtemis]

Then again, I had been wrong before.

he said it! HE ISN'T FLAWLESS!

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Oh, I don't have a problem with animals--I just don't have sex with them. :P

And that's right, Atzar. Keep playing dead. c:

http://scribalterror.blogs.com/scribal_terror/images/2008/05/22/capybara1.jpg
I'm making him wear a purple collar.

[Atzar]

That's right, he said 'magnificent'. Bow before my shiny white name.

I feel like Flava Flav right now.

I don't think that's ever a good thing.

EDIT: Wait, what? I don't like that thing, looks like it chafes.

[Knave]

Oh, I don't have a problem with animals--I just don't have sex with them. :P

And that's right, Atzar. Keep playing dead. c:

http://scribalterror.blogs.com/scribal_terror/images/2008/05/22/capybara1.jpg
I'm making him wear a purple collar.

Atzar, you're a shameless pervert, keep it up. :D

[The Thirtenth Sons.]

You and flava flav have a lot more in common than you think. I find both incredibly annoying, and you've both been roasted by a bunch of wannabees! because as we all know every good roast involves roasting the roasters.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Your name confused me into thinking that you were an admin for a while x_x DECEIVER!!!

[Wanderlust]

I've chosen to establish myself as Althanas' own Greg Giraldo. Nobody knows who I am, I have no claim to fame; however, I still consider myself funny enough to roast legitimate celebrities! *grin*

[Revenant]

Fuck man, you've just been relegated to Paris Hilton "little dog" status.

[The Thirtenth Sons.]

I've chosen to establish myself as Althanas' own Greg Giraldo. Nobody knows who I am, I have no claim to fame; however, I still consider myself funny enough to roast legitimate celebrities! *grin*
Quoted for awsomness.

[Knave]

Fuck man, you've just been relegated to Paris Hilton "little dog" status.

And he wears his purple collar, and tiny shirts with pride.

[Atzar]

You and flava flav have a lot more in common than you think. I find both incredibly annoying, and you've both been roasted by a bunch of wannabees! because as we all know every good roast involves roasting the roasters.

So hold on: you just called yourself a wannabe?

Or excuse me: wannabee.


Fuck man, you've just been relegated to Paris Hilton "little dog" status.

YES, hahaha.

[Letho]

Interesting fact:
"Capybara meat is white and has qualities and properties (such as high emulsification) that might allow it to compete with pork and other meats in the food industry. Spanish-style sausages, Italian-style mortadellas, frankfurters, and German-style smoked chops have been produced experimentally. However, at present, the meat is mainly consumed only in the dried and salted form. It is particularly popular in Venezuela, where more than 400 tons are sold every year, especially during Easter festivities."Not a bad choice for a roast really. I thought it would be tough and bitter.

[Revenant]

And he wears his purple collar, and tiny shirts with pride.

A certain kind of pride maybe.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Fuck man, you've just been relegated to Paris Hilton "little dog" status.

Too bad he's too fat to carry in my purse. :c

[Revenant]

Tee-hee. Pudgy-pudgy.

*pokes capybara*

[Duffy]

Atzar is American.

That is all.

[Atzar]

Well at least my teeth aren't all...

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:dWVd22tdCBhK-M:http://i423.photobucket.com/albums/pp314/pauly_cy/capybara20detail20schneidezahne201.jpg&t=1

...never mind.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

HEY GAIS I MADE A CHARACTER HOPE IT GETS APPROVED :D
Name: Nick Willy
Age: 23
Race: Human/Capybara Hybrid
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Gray
Height: 5’0”
Weight: 300 lb

Personality: Unnatural and unhealthy obsession with large rodents. Spends all time on the computer; shuns social contact. Despite this, doesn’t post nearly as much as Ella would like him too. Possibly due to laziness? Probably speaks with a ridiculous Boston accent.

Appearance: You don’t even want to know. Babies see this guy and grow up to become plastic surgeons. Once a woman saw him and was blinded for life. He so ugly, he momma don’t even kiss him goodnight. Disgusting teeth, as seen in the above post.

Skills:

Above Average Swordsmanship: Because every level 0 character has to have it.

Above Average Capybara Summoning: He can summon capybaras from the very depths of the internet and bombard his enemies with hordes of them. Capybaras will obey his every command, he is their master. Every capybara he summons is ridiculously fat, however.

History Born in the deepest and darkest depths of South America, he rode on the back of an enormous Capybara to Althanas, where he now torments everyone with his many rodents.

Equipment: His sole weapon is a fork. The fork is made of iron. It is important to specify exact materials of all items!

Familiars: Lots and lots of Capybaras.

[orphans]

Plant: This form of magic is still very rudimentary. He cannot yet accelerate the growth of plants, at least not to any noticeable degree. He can manipulate more pliable plants (vines, for instance). While he can move more rigid vegetation, like branches, he cannot maintain them in a different position for more than a second or two.

Well now... manipulation of vines and rigid vegetation into different positions...

Think of all the amazing things once this skill levels up.

[Letho]

HEY GAIS I MADE A CHARACTER HOPE IT GETS APPROVED
Name: Nick Willy
Age: 23
Race: Human/Capybara Hybrid
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Gray
Height: 5’0”
Weight: 300 lb

Personality: Unnatural and unhealthy obsession with large rodents. Spends all time on the computer; shuns social contact. Despite this, doesn’t post nearly as much as Ella would like him too. Possibly due to laziness? Probably speaks with a ridiculous Boston accent.

Appearance: You don’t even want to know. Babies see this guy and grow up to become plastic surgeons. Once a woman saw him and was blinded for life. He so ugly, he momma don’t even kiss him goodnight. Disgusting teeth, as seen in the above post.

Skills:

Above Average Swordsmanship: Because every level 0 character has to have it.

Above Average Capybara Summoning: He can summon capybaras from the very depths of the internet and bombard his enemies with hordes of them. Capybaras will obey his every command, he is their master. Every capybara he summons is ridiculously fat, however.

History Born in the deepest and darkest depths of South America, he rode on the back of an enormous Capybara to Althanas, where he now torments everyone with his many rodents.

Equipment: His sole weapon is a fork. The fork is made of iron. It is important to specify exact materials of all items!

Familiars: Lots and lots of Capybaras.I'm afraid I'm going to need you to elaborate on the History a little bit before I approve it. Just how exactly did he become a Human/Capybara Hybrid? Maybe Wolfman can clear it up. ;) Oh wait, we're roasting Atzar. Damn!

[Revenant]

Well at least my teeth aren't all...

http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:dWVd22tdCBhK-M:http://i423.photobucket.com/albums/pp314/pauly_cy/capybara20detail20schneidezahne201.jpg&t=1

...never mind.

Duffster, when did you send Atzar your photo and why didn't I get one?

[Duffy]

I'm more curious about how Atzar and you KNOW I have crooked teeth :p

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

I'm more curious about how Atzar and you KNOW I have crooked teeth :p

Because you're a silly limey. :p

Why do I feel like a "Roast Duffy" thread would be even more fun...? ;)

And Letho! I specified the exact material his fork is made out of! You HAVE to approve me! D:<

[Revenant]

I'm more curious about how Atzar and you KNOW I have crooked teeth :p

You're British. How could you possibly not? Just like all us Amur-i-cans is fat, lazy slobs.

Or at least fat, lazy capybaras.

[Duffy]

Word up to that, I saw a supermarket isle in an American mart on TV once.

I actually felt myself getting fatter!

[Atzar]

You people don't even hit as hard as an anemic midget with a feather pillow.

[SirArtemis]

You people don't even hit as hard as an anemic midget armed with a feather pillow.

this is your roasting. you shut the fuck up! rofl

[Ruby]

Duck or Goose feathers bitches?

*Swings*.

[Revenant]

Velociraptor feathers!

*cracks pudgy-wudgy with a bag of petrified, prehistoric feathers*

[Xos]

Oh all right, I'll join in on the fun.

Atzar is beginning to believe that his mind and his magic are linked

Really, it took you until level 3 to figure that out? What, I suppose until then magic was some sort of random occurance for you? Did you think maybe a a god was smiling down upon you right when you needed it each time?

You don't work on the staff with that unprecedented degree of brainpower do you? Surely you hold back so as to not overwhelm your fellow staffers and the rest of us out here in public.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

There is no way this is going to go on for a month. lol.

I vote we change the period of the roasting to a week...this is too much fun to not do it to people other than Atzar :P

[The Thirtenth Sons.]

Aww they all took my ideas....
Cappybaras are stupid...
seriously, thats all that's left.

[Knave]

Aww they all took my ideas....
Cappybaras are stupid...
seriously, thats all that's left.

Of course there are things left. We haven't even considered breeding him and selling the babies.

[Revenant]

Of course there are things left. We haven't even considered breeding him and selling the babies.

And if Letho's suggestion is any indication, we could make a killing off the meat profits.

Here capybara! *sharpens knives*

[The Thirtenth Sons.]

I'll fire up the barbecue!

[Revenant]

Mmmmnnnn ..... capy-b-que.

[Knave]

Right, we can spend the first year using him to start a farm, the second year we can put him to pasture... and by that I mean the meat packing plant to be made into sausage. My backyards too small, and my dog might eat Atzar before we're done with him, so my place is out.

Letho, you're the capy meat man, any suggestions?

[The Thirtenth Sons.]

Whoa wait, this roast just literally turned into a roast.

[Rahegalhoff]

If it helps, my great grandfather has a nice farm out in colorado we could use...

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Whoa wait, this roast just literally turned into a roast.
Yes, that would be the joke.

I've heard that capybara fur can be used to make blankets and their skin for leather. There's more profit to be had than just meat, guys! Think outside the box! :D

[Revenant]

Whoa wait, this roast just literally turned into a roast.

Such is the rapid descent of hungry people when faced with a delectible source of pudgy meat.

"'Kill the capybara! Cut his throat! Kill the capybara! Bash him in!'"

[The Thirtenth Sons.]

Yes, that would be the joke.

I've heard that capybara fur can be used to make blankets and their skin for leather. There's more profit to be had than just meat, guys! Think outside the box! :D

Huzzah we will get richer! Lets hire her as a business consultant!

[Atzar]

O.O

[Jack Frost]

O.O

You volunteered for this.

[Atzar]

I think y'all need to go watch Comedy Central some. Check out some of the roasts - Flava Flav, Jeff Foxworthy... I don't think anybody ever threatened to eat them.

Except maybe Lisa Lampanelli.

[Jack Frost]

I think y'all need to go watch Comedy Central some. Check out some of the roasts - Flava Flav, Jeff Foxworthy... I don't think anybody ever threatened to eat them.

Except maybe Lisa Lampanelli.
But that was in a different manner all together.

[Atzar]

Indeed - but no less scary.

[Knave]

Only comment: No one in their right mind would eat Flava Flav.

[Atzar]

I'd like to take this opportunity to call everybody who has yet to post here a pussy.

Bring it on.

[Tainted Bushido]

I'd like to take this opportunity to call everybody who has yet to post here a pussy.

Bring it on.

I was going to post here, but I figured in a few weeks you'll just disappear and we can finally start the raunchy orgies again. I mean I'm not exactly the funniest guy on the planet, but even I can't help but cringe when this guy makes a joke. This is the only guy that could suck an orgy dry on fun. I mean seariously, guy's a fun vampire, doesn't just suck the fun, he just sucks.

I mean really, capybara? Is that the best you could do? Why not go for something really fucked up like the platypus? I mean really? Resorting to a large rodent? I mean if thats your avatar I guess it just goes to show how large a pest he is...

Then again he really has no leg to stand on, he's probably a fat kid in a wheel chair sitting in his mothers basement trolling with his left hand while his right hand is kept busy to other matters. The guy just has no talent for this, or have you all forgotten how fast his dragon disappears? I mean if the "dragon" is any indication I think we got our self a genuine Houdini...

Now you see me now you don't.

Now, the trick is getting him to STAY gone...

[Revenant]

A whole bunch of Jokesorcist stuff...

This joke is ... cleansed.

[Silence Sei]

*Cracks knuckles, and proceeds to pull out a ten page manuscript, all completely blank.*

See, I was going to write something about Atzar the character, but seeing as he never seems to do anything, I couldn't write anything.

Then, I decided to attack Atzar as a judge, but then I realized he judged like 5 threads total on his tenure back, so that was out.

It then occured to me to try to go after his outing in the Cell, but his character spent so much time thinking about Christoph's character, -I- caught his gay and started getting a hard on for Eli. The embarassment made that point moot.

So how about his OOC talks? Well, he spends so much time on google looking up capybara pictures, and not enough actually putting anything meaningful in, that I didn't have anything to go on there either.

Now what's with everyone talking down to him? Like any of you have the right to talk. We have Nayeli, who's real name is Ella. I'm pretty sure her last name is 'ABadWriter'. Then we got Letho, who is so obbsessed with Atzar's avatar that he must have forgotten he's in a quest with Pat. Pat himself is just a guy who rehashes the same character over and over again. Wow. This time we have -another- heart of gold hero with some sort of inner demon. Maybe this demon's name is 'originality'.

Revenant's characters spend so much time in the anti-firmament I'm starting to wonder if he's actually a zombie in real life, and if that was his baby in Dawn of the Dead. I don't know what exactly knave is, I mean, aside from someone who can't use normal, non font text. Artie's character is so bland, it would make the hero of Grand Theft Auto 3 look interesting.

Frost, Wolfie, Sons, there's so little I care about you three I didn't even bother to look anything up. The fact that you're posting here makes you not only dorks, but also more active than Atzar has been all year.

Duffy is a walking joke. That comment in and of itself probably just made him have a breakdown.

Sei out.

[Revenant]

Perhaps Sei should spend a little less time thinking of bad jokes and a little more time posting in the threads he's in.

*hint hint* :D

[Knave]

Sweet, I am so unknown I can dodge bullets!

AND NON-FONT TEXT IS BORING, YO! =O

[Tainted Bushido]

Perhaps Sei should spend a little less time thinking of bad jokes and a little more time posting in the threads he's in.

*hint hint* :D

Hey rev, when you learn to fight, you'll learn to trash talk...

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Then we got Sei, who probably thinks he's good at insulting people. :P

[Atzar]

Is this the best Althanas has to offer? Two of the oldest, most renowned members on the site, emptying their chambers at me - and guess how many times I laughed? Once. Know why?

I realized how much effort you guys put into these weak-ass shots. If those were bullets, you'd be firing Nerf guns.

I guess I should temper my expectations in the future. I thought you guys were better... I really did.

[Enigmatic Immortal]

my silent contempt for you is all I have. And I don't really hold you in contempt. Sorry. I have failed you.

[Silence Sei]

Sorry Atzar, you're just not worth the effort.

Of anything. Ever.

Maybe if you had not been egotistical enough to make yourself the first roast, we coulda done something with it. But when we're trying to roast someone who does nothing, returns from doing nothing to do nothing, and then disappears to do nothing again, well we can't really help that can we?

All joking aside, I've got a bad feeling that these 'roasts' are not going to be taken as light hearted as they need to be after a while, and somebody somewhere is going to get offended. That's just me though, and to each his own.

[SirArtemis]

All joking aside, I've got a bad feeling that these 'roasts' are not going to be taken as light hearted as they need to be after a while, and somebody somewhere is going to get offended. That's just me though, and to each his own.


I'M NOT BLAND! I'M NOT FUCKING BLAND! I'M!!! NOT!!!

okay i did it. I is offended and stuffz. :(

(not...really...)

[Atzar]

Sorry Atzar, you're just not worth the effort.

Of anything. Ever.

Maybe if you had not been egotistical enough to make yourself the first roast, we coulda done something with it. But when we're trying to roast someone who does nothing, returns from doing nothing to do nothing, and then disappears to do nothing again, well we can't really help that can we?

All joking aside, I've got a bad feeling that these 'roasts' are not going to be taken as light hearted as they need to be after a while, and somebody somewhere is going to get offended. That's just me though, and to each his own.

All in good fun. If somebody can't take a joke, they shouldn't be volunteering. Also, I think most people realize that the hurtful jabs that would actually give offense aren't funny anyway.

[Letho]

I would recommend to shorten the duration of the roast to like a week or two, like Polly seemed to mentioned somewhere in here. Because there's only so much shit you can fling at someone before it stops sticking. And there are plenty of others to fling shit at on Althanas.

[Atzar]

I would recommend to shorten the duration of the roast to like a week or two, like Polly seemed to mentioned somewhere in here. Because there's only so much shit you can fling at someone before it stops sticking. And there are plenty of others to fling shit at on Althanas.

Very true - a week works for me.

Now, what else can you camels dish out?

Oh, and who wants to sit on the hot seat next?

[Wolfman 20]

Very true - a week works for me.

Now, what else can you camels dish out?

Oh, and who wants to sit on the hot seat next?

I know I'm gonna regret this, but I'll take the hot seat. Hit me with your best shot.

[Letho]

I wouldn't mind taking it on the chin. I figure Sei alone has enough stuff to throw at me to fill like half the thread.

EDIT: Well, after Mr. Furry Rape over here, anyways.

[Wolfman 20]

I wouldn't mind taking it on the chin. I figure Sei alone has enough stuff to throw at me to fill like half the thread.

EDIT: Well, after Mr. Furry Rape over here, anyways.

Letho, I hate to say this but is that the best you got you Redhead rapist? I swear, I hear better things coming out of my AC in the middle of the night.

[Letho]

Letho, I hate to say this but is that the best you got you Redhead rapist? I swear, I hear better things coming out of my AC in the middle of the night.Hey, hey, let's not get the thread derailed just yet. This is still Atzar's roast, and he's not even been properly marinated yet.

I'd take some more shots at him, but like someone once said, it would be like making fun of a clown. It just doesn't work. I will say one thing, though. I'm looking at some numbers at the recent activity on Althanas, and ever since Atzar posted his picture up in that Pic Thread it dropped like 50&#37;. In fact, I think we're losing members. Then again, we did suddenly start to receive offers from a number of gay communities for an affiliation with our site, but I don't think those are necessarily related.

[Rahegalhoff]

You know who we really need, that special someone who could fling shit at Atzar so well, not only would it stick, but it would become an internet meme, provided he tried hard enough.

Yes, we need our resident master troll to step in so Atzar can have his ass Godhanded to him on a silver platter. The rest of us, we just plain suck. Not as much as Atzar, but still.

[Atzar]

I'm disappointed at the lack of funny jokes in this thread.

[Tainted Bushido]

I'm disappointed at the lack of funny jokes in this thread.

That's alright Atzar, tonight when someone explains these jokes to you, you're going to be pissed.

[Little Lies]

Hey, hey, let's not get the thread derailed just yet. This is still Atzar's roast, and he's not even been properly marinated yet.

I'd take some more shots at him, but like someone once said, it would be like making fun of a clown. It just doesn't work. I will say one thing, though. I'm looking at some numbers at the recent activity on Althanas, and ever since Atzar posted his picture up in that Pic Thread it dropped like 50%. In fact, I think we're losing members. Then again, we did suddenly start to receive offers from a number of gay communities for an affiliation with our site, but I don't think those are necessarily related.

Unfortunately, those other gay capybara lovers are out of luck. Atzar's true fetish is ahem... "mature" ladies. He doesn't deal with high school bullshit.

[Knave]

Unfortunately, those other gay capybara lovers are out of luck. Atzar's true fetish is ahem... "mature" ladies. He doesn't deal with high school bullshit.

That makes eye popping sense!:eek: Atzar looks too much like a capybara, and at the same time looks too much like people. Clearly a third species, niether in their right mind would mate with him.

Tricky capy just sneeks on by through poor eye sight, sense of smell, hearing, touch, and dimentia. You've got to give him props for going that far, yo.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

I hate to say this, but the capybara thing stopped being funny at some point.

[Knave]

What else have we got? Unless we start going through his diary, I don't think we've got much on him.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

I'm not sure we have got anything else on him. Which is why we need to switch to a different person in a day or two.

Any suggestions on how we decide who comes next? I say we all just vote for who we want, and you can't vote for yourself.

I vote for Duffy.

[Knave]

I vote me!

I need a thicker skin...

Perhaps we could start a new thread after this with possible choices at the top, and a bon fire below for the current roast?

As for now... probably a head count.

[Visla Eraclaire]

Let's get real, no one on this site is interesting enough to talk about for a month, even if you're allowed to completely shit on them.

Duffy might last a week before I run out of gay jokes and brit jokes.

[Tainted Bushido]

A week? wouldn't give him 24 hours...

[Visla Eraclaire]

Yeah, I guess I am home a lot now. If I were working it might last longer, but I figure a couple of days is long enough. 24 hrs and people could miss it entirely. I've ignored Althanas for much longer than a day without thinking about it.

[Atzar]

You're right. This thread has about run its course. Take your last shots if you want, but about this time tomorrow it'd probably be best to start the next one up.

Wolfman and Letho both offered to be the next target, and Knave just did now. I think the important part is that we choose somebody who is willing to be roasted, just to minimize the chance of somebody getting offended.

[Visla Eraclaire]

I'm a complete monster and I don't mind being harangued by a bunch of internet nobodies. Whoever's next though, keep it to a couple days. Even I'm not fascinating enough for more than that.

[Cydnar]

I'll take whatever you slack-jawed colonial hussies can throw at me :D

[Dissinger]

You might want to think about that, long and HARD.

And no, not like that you perv...

[Saxon]

Try me.

Everybody has wanted to give me their best shot without a witty retort for years. This is your chance.










I probably won't even read this anyway.




Duffy might last a week before I run out of gay jokes and brit jokes.


He's an easy target and has acquired enough abuse over his membership to earn the title of veteran.. or punching bag, whichever you prefer. I honestly don't feel comfortable bashing him about his sexuality, and the fact he's british isn't all that interesting of a punchline.

[Atzar]

Alright, so who's up next? We never did actually make a decision about that.

I figure we can just keep it running in this thread as soon as we do pick another target.

[orphans]

OooOooooooo :D.... pick me

But I think there was a line before me.... so...

[Visla Eraclaire]

Here's a quick one Orphans. Orphans is weird because Orphans IMed me simply to comment on my AIM status despite the fact that we have never otherwise spoken.

I'm now out of things to say. You're new. I haven't grown to despise you for specific reasons, but don't worry! There's still time.

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

Technically the first person to volunteer was Wolfman, but that seems like a very bad idea. Letho was second, so how about him?

(edit: I'm up for this too, but I dunno what people would even say about me. :P)

[Visla Eraclaire]

Polly is a terrible person because she left me with an awesome intro post that I had to waste on Duffy.

I'm just going to do these on the fly for anyone who volunteers and shirk the format of one designated target.

[Wolfman 20]

Technically the first person to volunteer was Wolfman, but that seems like a very bad idea. Letho was second, so how about him?

(edit: I'm up for this too, but I dunno what people would even say about me. :P)

Why is such a bad idea to roast on me? I know some of you want to degrade me for what I did but damn. I didn't know I was THAT hated.

[Visla Eraclaire]

Because the point of the thread is levity and genuine drama about you is, as they say, "too soon."

Though, if you insist, I have mockery unrelated to the recent drama.

In the picture thread you posted a picture not wearing a shirt and in the other one grabbing your crotch. CLASSY!

[Atzar]

Why is such a bad idea to roast on me? I know some of you want to degrade me for what I did but damn. I didn't know I was THAT hated.

One is of the opinion that your roast might get a bit too personal. It has nothing to do with hate, but simply this: what do people know about me? They know my avatar, and a couple took shots at my character.

Now, what do they know about you? What will they choose to attack?

You've already shown that you'd rather that topic was just buried in history. So let's move on. Take a few months, establish a different reputation, and then come back and sit in the hot seat when people have acquired some material for you about a subject that isn't so sensitive.

Just my two cents.

EDIT: Or Visla could say the same thing in about a sixth of the words. Well put.

[orphans]

Teeheehee... you could have that as a magical skill Aztar!

Longwinded - Once initiated in battle with an opposing character, Aztar Kellon's power will increase proportionally with his post length. To NPC characters, they must resist or be put to sleep. For PC characters, they must resist or lose patience and lose track of details, making Aztar Kellon's attacks more effective if they are more detailed.

:D

[Saxon]

At least four people have volunteered to replace you, Atzar. As you are on the hot seat and the thread's creator, pick one of them. Then after the next roast is done, the other person sitting in the hot seat can pick from the people who've volunteered. That way this thread can run perpetually without pit stops like this.

[Izvilvin]

Visla is about as reliable as Vista ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[black knight]

At least four people have volunteered to replace you, Atzar. As you are on the hot seat and the thread's creator, pick one of them. Then after the next roast is done, the other person sitting in the hot seat can pick from the people who've volunteered. That way this thread can run perpetually without pit stops like this.

I second this notion

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

At least four people have volunteered to replace you, Atzar. As you are on the hot seat and the thread's creator, pick one of them. Then after the next roast is done, the other person sitting in the hot seat can pick from the people who've volunteered. That way this thread can run perpetually without pit stops like this.

I suggested to Atzar that he do this before you even posted!

*steals all the credit*

[black knight]

Actually you just said shorten it to a week per roast. totally different

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

I suggested it to him over AIM, not in this thread, smartie.

[Atzar]

Fair enough.

This thread is now about Letho.

[Saxon]

It is not beyond the scope of imagination or reason that anybody on this site could buy Letho's loyalty in a thread or battle if they had an ample supply of gin and a red-headed wig handy to exchange.

However, woe to the one who must take the hit for the team and wear that bloody wig. But remember, at least there's gin! Given the dick measuring on this site, though, it isn't entirely out of hand to assume that most of the people on this site would pay the heavy price of learning what it means to be "spotting" the next day if it meant gaining a helpful hand.

[The Guile Family]

Anyone find it Ironic the the person who monitors the new recruits for fairness is perhaps the most meticulously overpowered?

[Tainted Bushido]

What can I say to a man of impeccable taste (in red heads). He certainly is an inspiration to all of us (except red heads) and is sure to be the adoration of everyone (especially red heads). However, first and foremost I must get this off my chest...

Dude, you got the gaming sense of a lemming.

Seriously, what kind of quack likes a Bioware RPG? Talking heads were cool in fallout, but even Black Isle knew better than to give each character a monologue for fifty years over how they hate tying their shoes in the morning. If I took out the talking heads you know what I'd have?

Fable 3.

(BAAAZING!)

And don't even get me started on your fondness of all things unnatural (except red heads). I mean seriously? PSP? What kind of douche bag shells out 200 bucks for a glorified PS2 with mp3 player? Hell even ps2 could do mp3's, you just shelled out 200 bucks for ANOTHER ps2 this one just fits in your pants...

...Oh...oh ho ho HO!

You sick FUCK.

[orphans]

Has Letho kicked anyone down a big giant hole that was seemingly just placed there for cinematic value yet?

[Little Lies]

I very rarely read any of Letho's stuff. Just watch a Russel Crowe movie and you've got the plot.

[SirArtemis]

Letho's strength modifier even has Chuck Norris saying "dude what the fuck?"

[The Guile Family]

I did a little research, Letho could take on a team of several chuck norrises and still have enough stamina to rape half of Althanas up the ass. So I have invented a new breed of humor, the Letho Joke. DISCLAIMER: These were meant to be somewhat funny, not offensive.

Letho is so strong he could kill Jensen and he would stay dead.

Cassadra Remi said yes to Letho.

The plan for the Ixian knights was to have ten, but Letho showed them all up so they wrote him out so they could have more glory.

Duffy was originally American, then Letho kicked him and physically modified him to being British.

Final words in this post, redheads beware.

[Requiem of Insanity]

Well....since Pat got one I figure you can have one too...

http://spe.fotolog.com.br/photo/62/6/101/leveldevil/1276545698562_f.jpg

[Rahegalhoff]

Letho's so strong, Hromagh accused him of cheating.

I saw Letho strolling into a crocodile infested swamp once. I asked what he was up to, and he replied he was shopping for a brand new suit.

I saw Letho walking into a Dragon's cave, and I warned him about the dragon, and he asked where else he should keep his pet.

If V'dralla had red hair, Letho would ceaselessly chase her and there would be a fifth season. During this time, all men would suddenly become supermen, and all women would become redheaded supermodels.

The only reason Xem'zund was able to gain the power he did, was because Letho decided to let him.

Once, Superman and Chuck Norris tried to take Letho on, and Letho hit them so hard they became the Hilton Sisters.

[Tainted Bushido]

http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g265/starkeX/triplefacepalm.jpg

Get out of here Raggy...

[Slayer of the Rot]

I love Letho. I always felt bad when I got pulled away from the site when I was writing with him. One of my fondest memories of my career on Althanas was Fight The Horde, that huge Cell like melee. I battle raped that old man. He rolled over and took it like a good whore; and believe you me, he was a gusher.

But seriously, Letho is a great guy and an incredible author. I've recommended and shown his stories to quite a few people, and they've always thanked me for the good read.

P.S. you cocksuckers should do me next.

[Visla Eraclaire]

Letho is a hum-drum curmudgeon who clings feebly to the conventional and familiar. His involvement in anything is a death knell for progress or innovation.

Nothing he has ever done has interested me in the least and it will never cease to surprise me the sheer volume of undeserved respect heaped at his feet.

[Silence Sei]

Letho Letho Letho.

I liked you better when you just decided to rip off of final fantasy and get a gunblade. Then I found out you ripped off of Underworld and got yourself a kick ass werewolf form too.

Oh, excuse me, I misread that. Apparently, you got so enamored with Twilight you decided to become a werewolf yourself. Least you didn't become a sparkly vampire.

Pat spends more time in this single thread than I've ever seen him judging anything. Like, as his entirety as a judge.

Paul, I've seen your facebook pics. You shouldn't ever insult anybody. You're a grown man with a Winnie the Pooh blanket.

Maybe if Arties tried to make some of these bad jokes of his in character, I wouldn't be reading 'The Cold Coicidence Of A Cardboard Box'. Seriously, I wanted to stop reading part 2 half way through, and you were using one of -my- NPCs!

Back to Letho. The reason we're here this week and the bane of my existance. You remind me of a judge from Final Fantasy Tactics. We can't kill you, hurting you fucks us over, and you are so ridiculously overpowered you only have one active thread and it causes new members to piss their pants. I know, ask Artie. I've got the perfect redhead for you to tap. Just your type.

http://www.makli.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/carrottop-aftersteroids.jpg

You know you want some of that.

[orphans]

Didn't know carrot top went into rage mode...

[Tainted Bushido]

Sei, you're forgetting, he WAS a sparkly vampire for awhile...

It's so hard to figure out what old anime he's ripping off next with his ideas ;)

[Letho]

You goddamn cowards. Ambushing a person with bad (like really, really bad) jokes while he's asleep. I'll just try to respond to a couple since I'm at work and supposed to be, you know, working and not wasting my time on you losers.

@Pat: In all truth, I've paid my PSP around 300$. The price mark up in Croatia is ridiculous. Worth every penny, though. I mean, a PS2! IN MY PANTS! It's almost as good as a redhead in my pants, only costs less and shuts up when I want it to.

@Little Lies: And how is that a bad thing? Russel Crowe is fucking awesome, bitches!

@Everybody with the "oh he's so uberstrong" remark: Somebody has to keep all you sissies in line. Letho is like a counterweight. You are all such little bitches, Letho just has to be that powerful to keep the universe balanced.

@Slayer: I remember that thread. I also remember beating you on score. By 0.25 of a point. And you were scared of actually writing a conclusion after I shot you in the heart. Yeah, good times. :)

@Sei: At least I don't have butterfly wings. Which are gay. Which would explain why you have that particular pic of a redhead handy.


And in all truth, I'm a bit surprised and disappointed. No elitism jokes yet? What the hell people?! :eek:

EDIT: Ripping animes, Pat? Shit, I only saw like three so there's not that much to choose from. :P

[SirArtemis]

Here comes another bad one:

Letho, I will go bankai on your ass with my vizard mask out, and I will summon a fucking ice chair and sit and watch as my poison kills you. Don't try to stab me, or I will grab you and throw you. Althanas Tactic #1: Use a reference that nobody understands.

[Duffy]

Isn't that just 'How Duffy Works?'

[Knave]

You people are fogetting something. He is in the possession of a pegasus. Which is essentially a winged pony. Mr. Chuck'n'fuck'n'Norris, as some of you have dubbed him, has a life sized My Little Pony (http://www.ponytopia.com/2004-4/04_pics/04_profile_pics/star_catcher_main.jpg), which is made darker and edgier by being black.

While SEGA did this with Sonic to make Shadow, I somehow feel that a pallete swap here does not conceal the LAME. Well done, Letho, you've built in the fail.

[Letho]

Aww, jealous? You can pet him if you want.

[Knave]

Well, no, I'm not entirely sure what you do with your flying winged horse when no one is looking, but what really concerns me is how you (http://static.gamesradar.com/images/mb/GamesRadar/us/Daily/2010/07-Jul/27/game&#37;20characters%20made%20fat/Snake--article_image.jpg) ride him.

Then again, looking over "The Blood of Chodan" I suddenly realize you ripped off C&#250;chulain to get that super strength. Only thing is, C&#250;chulain still makes Letho look like a pussy.

"The first warp-spasm seized C&#250;chulainn, and made him into a monstrous thing, hideous and shapeless, unheard of. His shanks and his joints, every knuckle and angle and organ from head to foot, shook like a tree in the flood or a reed in the stream. His body made a furious twist inside his skin, so that his feet and shins switched to the rear and his heels and calves switched to the front... On his head the temple-sinews stretched to the nape of his neck, each mighty, immense, measureless knob as big as the head of a month-old child... he sucked one eye so deep into his head that a wild crane couldn't probe it onto his cheek out of the depths of his skull; the other eye fell out along his cheek. His mouth weirdly distorted: his cheek peeled back from his jaws until the gullet appeared, his lungs and his liver flapped in his mouth and throat, his lower jaw struck the upper a lion-killing blow, and fiery flakes large as a ram's fleece reached his mouth from his throat... The hair of his head twisted like the tange of a red thornbush stuck in a gap; if a royal apple tree with all its kingly fruit were shaken above him, scarce an apple would reach the ground but each would be spiked on a bristle of his hair as it stood up on his scalp with rage."

C&#250;chulain then kills an army, so fast and hard that they die standing. Which isn't a spoiler at all.


C&#250;chulain > Letho... C&#250;chulain > EVERYONE! Of course with the exception of Cthulhu. because he is Cthulhu.

[The Guile Family]

Well then now that I'm approved I have no need to hold back....
-Rolls up sleeves-
Wait....Letho is so inactive that I or any other newbies don't have anything to throw at him. I've never read one of his threads or battles. I've only seen him post ooc.

@ Artemis: Don't forget hiring mobsters with modern day technology (Guns) to build a mob empire.

[Zook Murnig]

Have a look at this (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=3566) little beauty, then. I'm sure you can find something in there to tease him with.

P.S. Cinderella Man is an alt of Letho's.

[Letho]

Have a look at this (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=3566) little beauty, then. I'm sure you can find something in there to tease him with.Like the score maybe? ;) If you wanted an alt to make fun of, you should've gone for the submissive dyke instead.


Knave, so you're basically saying that I should make Letho even stronger and more overpowered? It's not a problem, I have like four unused level updates. But I might end up braking Althanas or something. Or at least give Sei an aneurysm. :P


And yes, the inactivity joke. I guess it was only a matter of time. Now all we're missing is someone saying how elitists I am, how big bad Letho is oppressing the little man, and we're ready to move on to the next victim.


Speaking of that, aside from Duffy and Wolf, do we have any other candidates?

[Visla Eraclaire]

You're an elitist.

There, you happy now? It's hardly an insult if you beg people to make it. And I don't think you actually value people's skill or quality at anything in particular enough to qualify as an elitist. You certainly aren't elite yourself, though that shouldn't stop you from thinking that your betters are the ones that matter. Still, that's why I stuck with curmudgeon.

[Letho]

Happy. Most of that went right over my head anyways. I'm pretty certain there's an insult somewhere in there, but I'm probably too dumb to fully comprehend it. I also had to google for "curmudgeon".

[Visla Eraclaire]

Althanas' greatest writer, everybody. Reading comprehension is optional!

[Knave]

Knave, so you're basically saying that I should make Letho even stronger and more overpowered? It's not a problem, I have like four unused level updates. But I might end up braking Althanas or something. Or at least give Sei an aneurysm. :P

To be honest, if it just means more transforming and super strength, no. That gets boring after a while, and I have no idea why anyone would need the strength of 200 men particularly when they already have the strength of 100. Its not really changing anything, people would stop calling bullshit at fifty. Even then, I'm not too impressed if his main attribute remains super strength.

Almost every personal ability Letho holds is meant as little more than bulking up. Bloodrose character worries me more, the man teleports, his skeleton is armor, has what I can only simplify as sword beams, an actual fighting style that might make all of Letho's strength useless, and flash bombs. Thats a diverse character, with more ways to kill than most people ever see.

If it wasn't for anti-magic, Visla might be more dangerous. Oh... and well done, you've dodged competition from the mage corner.

I would never say someone is overpowered, I would say that certain powers are boring after a while, yo.

[Letho]

It was never my intention to make Letho a diverse character that has all the bases covered and fifty different ways to kill a man. Letho is basically a brute, and the only thing he really knows how to do is stab someone with something pointy. So I merely made him specialize instead of building this indestructible man that nothing can touch. And while that might seem boring to you, I had fun with him.

[Visla Eraclaire]

Is it just me or does the fact that Letho is genuinely defending himself seem to completely miss the point of this and make it look much less fun?

Even if it's just me, I'm right. Sit back and take it like a man.

[Knave]

I'm sure you did, and thats fantastic. I'm simply pointing out that at the end of this road, he doesn't know too many tricks for one really old dog.

And indestructible man? He's Althanas' very definition of indestructable. Not too sure why... probably all the hype about his power level being over 150.

[orphans]

Quicksand. ;o.... the stronger you are and the harder you struggle, the faster it sucks you in....

well, that came out horribly wrong.

[Visla Eraclaire]

No, it seems like a perfect description of Letho.

[Revenant]

Letho, the stronger you are and the harder you struggle, the faster he sucks you in....

You're right Visla, it does seem to fit.

[Saxon]

Letho, watch an actual roast which apparently is what people are modelling this after. Save your jabs for when its your turn to pass the torch, that way they can get there's in without fear of you coming down on them like a hammer (not fun) and you can have your retort if you want it.

Which I don't know why you would anyway, its all bullshit and in good fun.

Whoever's next should take that advice to heart.

[Izvilvin]

I also had to google for "curmudgeon".

I think he meant to write "cum dungeon."

[Visla Eraclaire]

Either one works.

[Silence Sei]

I guess after Duff and Wolfman, yall can roast my ass.

*converts all powers from thrusters to sheilds......that's a lot of power btw....like....OVER 9000!*

Oh and Letho sucks.

No joke there. Letho just sucks.

[Amber Eyes]

All right…I’ve been gone for 3 weeks and I decided to check out good ‘ol Althanas. Instead of posting in one of the threads I need to be doing I’m going to spend the time on posting OOC….wow…I’m kinda like most of the mods around here now….:)

In the future please make sure someone other than Atzar posts any interesting threads, I mean...who reads anything Atzar posts...really? If you wanted people to realize this was going on...you should have convinced someone interesting....like.....damn there isn't anyone interesting on this site. never mind, carry on.

No, but seriously Atzar, I'm very sorry I missed your roast. I was going to post and talk about how much I love your furry butt. Sei let me know it was going on....and in the excitement over the new direction Althanas is heading, I decided to hit an SUV at 65 MPH. Three broken bones later...here I am...

I can't believe I've missed such amazing humor...I mean come on...who the hell knew that Artie knew what an exclamation mark was? Have you actually read the guys threads? We walked. We sat. Something exciting happened. What does the character think about that? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW! We went back to town. To be continued...fuck dude! Who the hell are you? Ben frikkin Stein? Give me something here! :)

Sei...seriously? Do you have to make a complete and utter ass of yourself in every thread you post in OOC? I swear I married you for a reason...but for the life of me your personality on this site makes me forget. " La-di-da-di-da"...."let me argue with someone"......."unnecessary jab at Letho- he's too powerful...even though I'm the one who now has 1000 enchanted items from the thaynes"

I was going to try and make a jab at Visla, but to be completely honest...his IQ is probably twice mine and I wouldn't understand his comeback....so I'm going to save myself the embarrassment.

I'm going to have to read up on everyone else to come up with anything and my drugs aren't kicking in so my foot hurts too bad for me to focus on anything right now...so I'm going to go ahead and finish this up.

That brings me to the man of the hour...Letho. The man of the hour...or week I guess. A man obsessed with the sexual possibilities of every red head on the planet...I guess I shouldn't even comment on the young one who lives in his home...the moment that girl sprouts breasts we're all in trouble. I honestly wasn’t even aware you had a Pegasus until this thread although the red headed pony show has surely crossed your mind a time or two. No one thinks you’re an elitist, Letho. We are all fully aware that you just yearn for the days when Althanas was in its “prime”. Like you know...when Sei had thirty characters and each one of the was ripped off from another joke that even Conan O’brein realized wasn’t funny enough for a second go. You miss the days when the site collapsed every six months, back when you had to ‘work hard’ to get the levels—although I can only assume back then sexual favors were involved because from what I can tell we still have to write to get the levels. I wasn’t around in the glory days...and for that I thank God and my former social life….
In all seriousness though Letho, you are no annoying than anyone else on this ridiculous site that we all love so much. You do a lot to keep it all together and somehow always find the time to bust some newbie’s balls at least once a day….and we truly do appreciate it. As much hell as we give you and the rest of the Mod team, we wouldn’t be here if we actually didn’t like the system. So, carry on….and if I meet any red heads I will send them your way…..

[Sweet Polly Oliver]

^ above post

http://lolcat.com/pics/tldr.jpg

[Atzar]

Sei, your wife is funnier than you...

[Oliver]

Sei, your wife is funnier than you...

In the words of Kanye 'EgoLargeEnoughToSinkTheBismarck' West, 'I'mma let you finish!'

[SirArtemis]

I can't believe I've missed such amazing humor...I mean come on...who the hell knew that Artie knew what an exclamation mark was? Have you actually read the guys threads? We walked. We sat. Something exciting happened. What does the character think about that? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW! We went back to town. To be continued...fuck dude! Who the hell are you? Ben frikkin Stein? Give me something here! :)

Jesus I get it lol my writing is boring. Fuckin Mr. and Mrs. Orlouge over here, naggin me because I'm boring in real life and it translates.

'I has feelings,' the writer behind the monitor said, unsure what the thought even meant.

[Knave]

Jesus I get it lol my writing is boring. Fuckin Mr. and Mrs. Orlouge over here, naggin me because I'm boring in real life and it translates.

'I has feelings,' the writer behind the monitor said, unsure what the thought even meant.

I don't get it! Why are they picking on you?! I was up here first >_> and I laid it on Letho. Wasn't funny after a while, but dang, I was expecting to make a return on all those lulz. I get like one mention from Sei, and thats it. -_-

At least you're interesting enough to be mentioned in counter attacks. I mean, I have like 0 clarity... and Sei told me to dumb it down... wasn't trying, but now I think I can think circles around Sei... and then think Sei into a small box to fed to whichever vermin I choose.

I have a soul! Try and take it from me!

[Silence Sei]

*pulls out the Ghostbusters gun and trap* You really want me to try?

[Knave]

Test me.

[Letho]

Alright, I think this went long enough, so I'm going to pass the torch to the next lucky sod. Sorry for cocking up the roast a bit; it was my first.

I think it would be inappropriate and illogical to nominate anyone other than the dearest of all my friends. So step up, Sei, you're next. :)

[The Guile Family]

Apparently the mighty hero of Radasanth cant bathe two toddlers.....

[Saxon]

Sei's a Dick.

[SirArtemis]

Sei's a Dick.

Witty.

[Slavegirl]

Nobody's gonna roast Sei. Nobody friggin likes him. I can't say pretend mean things about him, or even real mean things. Because, hell, I just don't care. Besides, he lies and says my original character (this one) is apparently engaged to one of his characters. Seriously? That's pretty desperate...

[Knave]

What do I attack... his picture, and face >_> his style or writing, which I hardly remember. >_> The fact that I keep imagining his character as 12 years old? Should I make things up? Or point out the beginnings of male pattern baldness?

[orphans]

I like how "hobo" sei is panning out in a thread :>

might be a perma new look... with the rugged beard, minus the lice and dandruff.

[Slavegirl]

What?! You don't like lice? And dandruff? I think it adds a lovely flavor of... unwashed mountain man.

[Run]

Sei's a dicksucker.

Fixed it for you.

[SirArtemis]

Fixed it for you.

Nice sexist homophobia. Rock on.

[Visla Eraclaire]

Nice sexist homophobia. Rock on.

Excellent work taking everything seriously You didn't get all your butthurt out while whining in the chatroom today? Pathetic.

Sei is a hopeless dolt who makes completely pointless joke alts that he then proceeds to tell me are indeed serious. Yikes.

[SirArtemis]

Excellent work taking everything seriously You didn't get all your butthurt out while whining in the chatroom today? Pathetic.


Ah Visla, if you were any more of a condescending asshole I might actually pity you and recommend you see a therapist. Alas, you are right on that border where you are fully aware of it and continue to do it, finding that bit of joy in highlighting your own day at others' expense. Not someone I'd ever find myself envying or admiring. You rock on too, Captain Conceited.

[Knave]

Ah Visla, if you were any more of a condescending asshole I might actually pity you and recommend you see a therapist. Alas, you are right on that border where you are fully aware of it and continue to do it, finding that bit of joy in highlighting your own day at others' expense. Not someone I'd ever find myself envying or admiring. You rock on too, Captain Conceited.

Oooh, burn... well not really, you need to be more concise. Also, slipping into the upper diction in a battle of rather simple insults marks you the loser. Likewise suggesting someone is deserving pity in this way really does seem like a grade school comeback where someone of no authority tries to act like they have authority.

Its admirable that you made an objective criticism, but calling someone conceited is utterly meaningless. If you are wrong, you're wrong. If you are right, he still won't give a damn.

Man up, man, and sharpen those bitting words. I don't care who's being roasted, but at least make it good. Besides, its only healthy to admire yourself, so Visla will doubtless be more interested in his reflection than your approval.

PS.

Sei wears adult diapers in adult movie theaters; oddly enough he still arrives with baby sauce. I can only suspect the worst and assume he has joined a cult of mentally senile senior citizens who wish to be young again. He likes the attention as every time he appears, they think he is one of their own, and scream, "Its working! Its working! AHAAGGHHGHG MY LUMBAR! NOOOO! (http://www.lintcoat.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/whitelies_cover.jpg)

[Atzar]

Oooh, burn... well not really, you need to be more concise. Also, slipping into the upper diction in a battle of rather simple insults marks you the loser. Likewise suggesting someone is deserving pity in this way really does seem like a grade school comeback where someone of no authority tries to act like they have authority.

Its admirable that you made an objective criticism, but calling someone conceited is utterly meaningless. If you are wrong, you're wrong. If you are right, he still won't give a damn.

Man up, man, and sharpen those bitting words. I don't care who's being roasted, but at least make it good. Besides, its only healthy to admire yourself, so Visla will doubtless be more interested in his reflection than your approval.

PS.

Sei wears adult diapers in adult movie theaters; oddly enough he still arrives with baby sauce.

http://trollcats.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/shut_the_fuck_up_trollcat.jpg

[Knave]

http://trollcats.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/shut_the_fuck_up_trollcat.jpg

I iz Qute? :D

[Run]

Hey. Shut your cocksuckers, make me a sandwich and get me a beer. Topic goes on.

I once met Sei in person. He talked about the X Men for an hour and he was a little jittery. I noticed a bulge in his pants. His speech became a little more erratic, and he launched into proffessional wrestling. The second the name "Randy Orton" came out of his mouth, he threw his head back, screamed into the air, and then collapsed on the ground, sweating.

Great guy.

[SirArtemis]

Hey. Shut your cocksuckers, make me a sandwich and get me a beer. Topic goes on.

I once met Sei in person. He talked about the X Men for an hour and he was a little jittery. I noticed a bulge in his pants. His speech became a little more erratic, and he launched into proffessional wrestling. The second the name "Randy Orton" came out of his mouth, he threw his head back, screamed into the air, and then collapsed on the ground, sweating.

Great guy.

Okay that one made me laugh... damn it all... i forgive you.

[Allennia]

Come on guys, gay jokes, jokes about tea, Marvel bashing - you're so much cooler than this!

[orphans]

During some training, Ryoki had transformed Sei into a vampire...

OH GOD DX.... Sei turned into Edward Cullen (http://7tattoo.files.wordpress.com/2010/03/edward_cullen_by_kittygoth1.jpg?w=500&h=400)



When Sei returned to Anita, he used the flames upon her, which aroused the girl from her deep slumber and completely healed her of any and all injuries. However, the flames had a catch to them. If they were not used upon the user himself, then they would take the user from the grasp of death by making him young again.

I was curious as to what the "flames of life" might be and look like, so a quick search turned this up (http://www.princemonyo.com/Flames%20of%20life.jpg)...... I no longer want to know how they might wake someone from a deep slumber and make you younger in the process.

Some how I don't want Uncle Sei giving candy (http://www.ihasafunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/ihasafunny-piece-of-candy.jpg) to Azza anymore. Dx

[Visla Eraclaire]

I think the ultimate roast would be for me to post the kind of shit Sei was writing when I first met him long ago on a message board far far away. Unfortunately every harddrive I save that drek on suffers a catastrophic failure. The universe seems to conspire to keep anyone from having to deal with Baby Sei ever again.

Oh and my vanity does demand that I be next so that "so insecure it hurts me through the LED screen" Mr Artemis can be on topic when he makes his feeble jabs. I've been around the "ur so full of urself" block plenty of times, kid. It's going to take tougher stuff than that.

[Wanderlust]

Originally Posted by orphans
OH GOD DX.... Sei turned into Edward Cullen

I happen to know for a fact that Sei has indeed turned into Edward Cullen...sort of. Unfortunately Sei isn't attractive enough to land a girl like Kristen Stewart.

*points to self* I think I got this Greg Giraldo thing down. Half-funny...still unknown. Booya.

[Amber Eyes]

wow...thanks dude^^^

Yours Truly,
The girl Sei landed that apparently isn't as good as Kristen Stewart

[Scrotus]

Quick pause from the roast.

Try not-funny and unknown, Wanderlust.

Okay, you can continue bashing Sei now.

Also, I would have to say that Sei's wife is way better looking than that chick. That's not a pick-up, or anything similar, it's just fact.

[Cyrus the virus]

christ people are sensitive and boring, these days.

I'd plow Kristen Stewart.

Also, talk about Sei's old obsession with Starky from Chrono Cross. He saw a resemblance between it and his penis after a few hours of trying to get hard in a cold swimming pool so he could penetrate the jet stream hose. Because they were both blue and tiny. Get it!?

[Amber Eyes]

I'm just playing back...I promise I have a tougher skin than that...I have older brothers...I better :)

[Letho]

wow...thanks dude^^^

Yours Truly,
The girl Sei landed that apparently isn't as good as Kristen StewartThis is somewhat of a misunderstanding. Wanderlust didn't say you're not as good as Kristen Stewart. Just not as attractive. You probably lack about a half a ton of emo for his taste. ;)

Anyways, back to the roasting. In all honesty, I don't know that much of Sei to properly roast him. I pretty much know what we all do; that he's able to dish out a massive amount of mediocre stuff all across the Althanas board and counter every thing that I post. Which probably means he doesn't do much else other than posting. Which, in turn, means he neglects his demon spawn and beats his wife whenever she takes away too much of his precious Internet. And doesn't post nice things about him on Althanas. And doesn't make him a sandwich. Somebody should call child services and the five-O. I'd do it, but international calls cost a fortune.

[Wanderlust]

Originally Posted by Scrotus

Try not-funny and unknown, Wanderlust.


Well played

[Saxon]

I can't think of anything funny to post about a guy I hardly even know, but I'm posting anyway.

Roast me next.

[Tainted Bushido]

I think the ultimate roast would be for me to post the kind of shit Sei was writing when I first met him long ago on a message board far far away. Unfortunately every harddrive I save that drek on suffers a catastrophic failure. The universe seems to conspire to keep anyone from having to deal with Baby Sei ever again.

Says the man who's most successful character was a woman, and enjoyed getting Godhand all riled up about him being a girl.

I've heard of Penis Envy but this is the first cast of the Uterus Blues I've seen...

As for Sei, what can I say that hasn't already been said by family guy, who makes fun of everything Sei rips off, except mega man, because we all know that the Roll porn on his desktop is just a no go zone...

oops, I let that slip....

[Visla Eraclaire]

I know terrible writers can't tell the difference between what you want to write about and what you want to be :P

Sei really did <3 Starky though, it was creepy as hell. Matt has it dead on.

[Aiko]

...getting Godhand all riled up about him being a girl.

Wait, Godhand's a woman? I thought Godhand was a man! Or, am I missing/misunderstanding something here?

[Zook Murnig]

Godhand has other secrets, Aiko, but that is not one of them.

[Knave]

Godhand has other secrets, Aiko, but that is not one of them.

Or that is what she wants you to think.

[Troubled-Crow]

She may be lying about lying about lying about *5 hour description within which enters a paradoxal loop, before exploding.*

[Duffy]

Godhand is last year's news in this Season's Denim - overdressed for simple things.

[SirArtemis]

Why the eff are we talking about Godhand. Move on. Roast the person being roasted.

[Duffy]

Who are we supposed to be 'roasting?'

[Zook Murnig]

Silence Sei, who for once is living up to his name.

[Duffy]

I don't need a special thread to do that, though, there's AIM, and MSN, and PM's all year for that! :D

[SirArtemis]

I think Saxon wanted to be roasted.

[Slayer of the Rot]

Silence Sei, who for once is living up to his name.

That's because he's jerking off to his rasslin' action figures.

[Silence Sei]

Sorry, the sheer fact that, as it turns out, none of you are funny, put me in a comatose state.

I do appreciate people digging back into my wrestling obbsession/SCS days to throw things at me, I just wish, ya know, there had been actual comedy involved.

In lieu of that, you're up Visla the Eyesauce.

[Saxon]

In lieu of that, you're up Visla the Eyesauce.

Fuck you.

[Scrotus]

Visla,
I have listed a generic list of quotes to come. This list is based off of the really clever things I've heard said already.

"You make me cry, because you're so mean and I'm such a sniveling bitch"

"You talk down to me so much... Condescending jerk."

"Blah Blah Blah" <---- Someone trying to pull a witless joke out of the hat regarding your avatar

"Blah Blah Blah blah blah" Some incoherent crap regarding your character aspect.

[SirArtemis]

Visla,

"You talk down to me so much... Condescending jerk." <--- This one's dedicated to my friend Art


Pretty sure I didn't offer myself up for roasting.

Honestly, I'd prefer you did not mention my name or even make passive references to me. Thanks.

[Slayer of the Rot]

Pretty sure I didn't offer myself up for roasting.

Honestly, I'd prefer you did not mention my name or even make passive references to me. Thanks.

Some friendly advice; grow a thicker skin. Otherwise you're never going to improve when you get judgement on your threads.

That aside, its been my growing observation around here that Visla/Andrew is Top Jew around here since Ithermoss has been gone.

Top filthy, sticking, conniving Jew.

[Zook Murnig]

That aside, its been my growing observation around here that Visla/Andrew is Top Jew around here since Ithermoss has been gone.

Say what?

[Duffy]

It's nearly The Day of Atonement too, how fitting. Say whatever you like Zook, you'll get away with it :o

[Cyrus the virus]

Visla can't be jewish, he eats my pork all the time.

[Visla Eraclaire]

As a matter of policy I will not butthertedly respond to all allegations about me like Letho did. However, I'm not a Jew. I don't believe in any god, much less Jew-God.

[Duffy]

Visla can't be jewish, he eats my pork all the time.

I lolled.

Then I lolled some more :D

[Cyrus the virus]

Nobody can continue the roast after my awesome comment!

[Angelic Demon]

Nobody can continue the roast after my awesome comment!

Too bad. This is something the site needed next to the chat. Question is, who takes the hot seat next.

[Aiko]

Everyone wants to roast the devil sooner or later. Since the real thing isn't availible, how about me and my assortment of characters?

[SirArtemis]

Everyone wants to roast the devil sooner or later. Since the real thing isn't availible, how about me and my assortment of characters?

YOU GO TO HELL!

Ba-dum-ch

[Visla Eraclaire]

Pathetic that Cyrus managed to top everyone with a gay pun.

[Cyrus the virus]

But what a pun it was.

[Lye]

Why isn't this being maintained? I totally volunteer to be roasted. Have at it!

[Taste of Treason]

Actually Lye, we put this thing on hiatus in hopes that one day you might make a triumphant return to Althanas and find it. Yay! The day has finally arrived!

What on earth can we roast you about? I mean, you have done such an amazing job. Whoring out your art skills in hopes of earning enough money to beat Sei is a classy move. And when you aren't working on that, you are whoring out your PG to anyone who will listen. Ah, yes, I almost forgot, you also spend a lot of time arguing with yourself in the chat room where your alternate personality is a....oh goodness.

You're also everyone's newest favorite mod, which means in six months you'll probably be the most hated guy on the site. That's usually how that pans out. I do find it quite funny that you have a red name now, its like a constant reminder that that whole Crimson Hand thing hasn't really panned out as of yet.

Lye is also a very interesting character, he gives off the watching you shower vibe more than the kill you in your sleep vibe, but creepy is creepy right?

There really isn't much more to say. Lye, you are a whore. Your character is a creeper and your power group has no power. We love you though, keep on giving us all the experience and we'll keep being friendly to your face and talking behind your back. :)

Seriously, this post is terrible but I'm still going to post it because its midnight and I'm not going to try again. Love ya dude!

[hoytti]

Why are you lying to everyone. I mean even your username is Lye! Come on and stop the lying you lying piece of meat. I mean seriously. I bet even your position in the Ixian Knights is a lie!

Oh and don't get me started on the fact that you lye down for everyone. *Shivers*

Oh, and I volunteer to be March's roast

[Lye]

So far so good, but I think we have some more roasting to do. I'm still feeling a little medium-rare.

[Mordelain]

Your Facebook profile picture.:confused:

[Dissinger]

Ive seen that look in booking photos, you sure you didn't crop out the name plate?

[Lye]

Ah, Dissinger... I knew you wouldn't pass up the opportunity. :p

My Facebook pic tends to leave many speechless, what can I say. :p

[Dissinger]

"Not Guilty?"

[Lye]

Well, Feburary's roast was quite light. I did enjoy Amber's the most, but I expected more from you Althanas! I'll have to take the roasting chair another time and see if you've gotten better. ;P

As for the month of March, Hoytti has volunteered for roasting! Remember that this is a friendly event people ;P

Have at it!

[hoytti]

Hey all, where is my roast. I'm feeling raw.