Heart of Zaga
10-11-10, 06:29 PM
Let Me Not - Part II:
Coming apart, but we're falling down together (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hOrac6_usY)
1987
Alone
The confines of her mind where vast, so vast that too often she lost herslef on her own thoughts, a flaw that perhaps only distanced her more for the people she loved. She would ponder, if the warmth of a mother was something relative, if smiles should be allowed to be faked, and if love, that turbulent mess of the mind that was so often put on a pedestal should be so sacred not even a god should dare touch. Loneleyness had never been a foreing feeling for her; sometimes she wondered if it was normal, if everyone, by a feat of introspection, managed to shrowd their longing for something new, something other that oneself. She couldn't fathom it, that everyone should be audience to the same world she saw, yet not stood to fight for that something humans call meaning, seemed simply prepostreous.
No. The battle was solely hers to fight.
"Stupid" She said to herself half awake; It was during this time of the morning, when emerging from her subconscious, that she caught a glimpse of what her dreams had been about. To her, dreams had always been like water; she was never able to hold onto them for more than a couple seconds after waking up. Dream or nightmare , no matter how sweet or fantastic, she would never have been willing to exchange them back for reality.
"Let me see those amber jewels," a muffled voice said right next to her, "come on," it continued, this time accompanied by a small tug, "If you don't I'm gonna' have to~" the last by a wet dab on her cheek. She rolled in the sheets again pretending she didn't mind the gesture; by now she was already used to Zaga's spontaneous kissing moods, which had a few times attempted to turn into something much more involved. Selene didn't intend that morning to become anything of the sort; she was far too comfortable lying in the sheets to worry about cleaning them, or exercising for that matter.
"Hey" his voice continued with a slight mirth at her response, he'd caught on to her attention and slowly her was reeling her back awake. Slowly she felt the firm arm slithering through the bed, then rolling up her naked side, tucking underneath her arm only to bind onto her hand on the other side. A slight smile formed on Selene face as she let out a happy grunt; the lithe hairs of his arms tickled against her bare skin. She was happy. It had been so long since she and Zaga have had the opportunity to relax, or be close like they were then.
But it was not only the comfort and the rest that she was tankful for, the past two dayas had been like a dream from her past. She had dressed in elegand skilks, bathed in sweet oils and honey aranged her hair in the fashions of the elves. The food, the company, the luxury, the attention that she felt was owed to her was actually being given, a luxury that she was forced to give up to save her life from the Sway. She had hated those who had wronged her, the bishops,a nd the damn fanatics, her mother and especially her father. Yet then and there it didnt really matter, she was sharing a bed with the cause of her self-exile, and there was no where else she would rather be.
But despite her nature, the feeling had nothing to do with vanity, it had meerely allowed her to return to a place an a time were she had not been the horrible creature her mother was so willing to give up. She was back home, in a time and place were she was totally innocent, and knew nothing of compassion.
It was all like an unbeliavable dream...
Coming apart, but we're falling down together (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hOrac6_usY)
1987
Alone
The confines of her mind where vast, so vast that too often she lost herslef on her own thoughts, a flaw that perhaps only distanced her more for the people she loved. She would ponder, if the warmth of a mother was something relative, if smiles should be allowed to be faked, and if love, that turbulent mess of the mind that was so often put on a pedestal should be so sacred not even a god should dare touch. Loneleyness had never been a foreing feeling for her; sometimes she wondered if it was normal, if everyone, by a feat of introspection, managed to shrowd their longing for something new, something other that oneself. She couldn't fathom it, that everyone should be audience to the same world she saw, yet not stood to fight for that something humans call meaning, seemed simply prepostreous.
No. The battle was solely hers to fight.
"Stupid" She said to herself half awake; It was during this time of the morning, when emerging from her subconscious, that she caught a glimpse of what her dreams had been about. To her, dreams had always been like water; she was never able to hold onto them for more than a couple seconds after waking up. Dream or nightmare , no matter how sweet or fantastic, she would never have been willing to exchange them back for reality.
"Let me see those amber jewels," a muffled voice said right next to her, "come on," it continued, this time accompanied by a small tug, "If you don't I'm gonna' have to~" the last by a wet dab on her cheek. She rolled in the sheets again pretending she didn't mind the gesture; by now she was already used to Zaga's spontaneous kissing moods, which had a few times attempted to turn into something much more involved. Selene didn't intend that morning to become anything of the sort; she was far too comfortable lying in the sheets to worry about cleaning them, or exercising for that matter.
"Hey" his voice continued with a slight mirth at her response, he'd caught on to her attention and slowly her was reeling her back awake. Slowly she felt the firm arm slithering through the bed, then rolling up her naked side, tucking underneath her arm only to bind onto her hand on the other side. A slight smile formed on Selene face as she let out a happy grunt; the lithe hairs of his arms tickled against her bare skin. She was happy. It had been so long since she and Zaga have had the opportunity to relax, or be close like they were then.
But it was not only the comfort and the rest that she was tankful for, the past two dayas had been like a dream from her past. She had dressed in elegand skilks, bathed in sweet oils and honey aranged her hair in the fashions of the elves. The food, the company, the luxury, the attention that she felt was owed to her was actually being given, a luxury that she was forced to give up to save her life from the Sway. She had hated those who had wronged her, the bishops,a nd the damn fanatics, her mother and especially her father. Yet then and there it didnt really matter, she was sharing a bed with the cause of her self-exile, and there was no where else she would rather be.
But despite her nature, the feeling had nothing to do with vanity, it had meerely allowed her to return to a place an a time were she had not been the horrible creature her mother was so willing to give up. She was back home, in a time and place were she was totally innocent, and knew nothing of compassion.
It was all like an unbeliavable dream...