Meet The Priams

[Disillusioned]

"If you'd just let me talk, I'll tell you why this is a bad idea," Sheex muttered as he did his best to keep up with Rebecca's quick pace. One thing was for sure, when the girl wanted something, she wasn't slow about getting it.

"I don't want to hear it Sheex!" Rebecca muttered back. The two friends were making their way through the simple town of Irenes, a quiet little town that offered little in the way of adventuring. That suited Sheex just fine, he had had his fill of that particular life.

They were friends, Rebecca and Sheex. The best of friends. There wasn't much the two didn't talk about, not that either of them had much of a filter to begin with. Rebecca had been a spoiled little girl, and that hadn't changed as she had grown up. Well, the spoiled part anyway. Now, at the age of twenty-eight, she was a spoiled woman, with dark brown hair, deep blue eyes, and full breasts.

Oh, and a really nice ass. Can't forget that.

Sheex, in contrast, was the opposite. First of all, he was a guy. Second, he was far from spoiled. Whereas each of Rebecca's actions were graceful and tactful, as expected of a woman of her caliber, Sheex's actions were befitting of a bit of a vagabond (he did have a nice ass though, at least in his opinion). Actually, he had been quite the vagabond for a portion of his life, but that's a different story. This story involved something so dire, so dangerous, that many people would piss their pants just thinking about such an endeavor.

Visiting the in-laws.

"I'm not thinking of myself here Rebecca," Sheex began again. "Lord knows that you getting your, ah, family out of the town will do it a world of good. Heck, people might let their kids out to play again."

Sheex only mention this because Rebecca was married to a wonderful (that's an opinion, by the way) man named Karel Raven. He was known as the Saint Of Swords, among other things. These other things involved murderer, child-killer, selfish bastard, and man who touched a goat very inappropriately. How these things came about will all be explained in time, except for the goat-touching (some things are better left unexplained).

Karel's brother-in-law, Vladimir Sigma (who had married Karel's now dead sister), was also in town. He was the last Knight Of The Apocalypse, among other things. These things involved mass murderer, mass child-killer, all around asshole, and secretly homosexual. Again, all these things will be explained in time (including the last one). All though the town of Irenes was quite fond of Rebecca, who was not only an outstanding citizen but a respected member of the town council, they were a little wary whenever her husband came to visit, and were down right terrified whenever Vladimir was in town.

Oh, Karel and Vladimir were also mortal enemies for the better part of their lives. Now they hunted gods together! Funny how things turn out.

"It's not that bad!" Rebecca huffed angrily.

"Only because of Troy!" Sheex retorted. "Who, by the way, cannot possibly be in favor of this crazy idea of your’s."

Enter the last character of this farce, Troy Priam. Rebecca's beloved brother, and well-liked (if not slightly sulky) captain of the town guards. He was a serious type of man, Troy Priam, who showed very little emotion. Still, he wasn't known for killing people or (in the case of Vladimir) setting islands on fire, which was a plus in Sheex's book. He was also the only man in the entire town who was skilled enough with the blade to keep Karel and Vladimir in check, should they decide to reignite their old rivalry (which always involved damaging the surrounding area). Suffice to say, Troy was not happy with his sister's choice of husband, or the baggage the man brought with him. He pointed this out often, almost to the point of being a bit of a jerk (although since it was only towards Karel, no one really cared).

On the downside, Troy's wife, Noel, looked little a little boy. Most people thought he married her for her cooking, which was totally-freaking-amazing.

"I, ah, haven't actually told him yet," Rebecca grimaced as she spoke. "But it's not like he's going to say no! Mom and Dad want to see us!"

"You and Troy. Not Karel and Vladimir, who I doubt have been fully introduced. It's not like you can just go up and say 'hi mom, here's the guy who attacked Black Isle with a thousand and some odd dragons,' can you?"

"No. No, you really can't," Rebecca said softly as she rolled her eyes. "But you don't have to rub it in Sheex."

"I'm not rubbing it in! I'm advising!" Sheex shouted as he motioned about the town. "Take a look around Rebecca! Look at Irenes! This is a happy place! A quiet place! You know what the most common problem Troy responds to is? Helping Ms. Stryluck get her cat down from a tree."

As he spoke, he waved hi to Ms. Stryluck, who was out pruning her roses.

“Irenes, more than anything else, is a place for someone to rest. Karel and Vlad, they’re not ready for that. Not yet,” Sheex’s voice dropped to a whisper. “Honestly, I don’t know if they’ll ever be.”

Rebecca’s temper flared.

“Tough talk, coming from a man who spent how many years wandering? How many towns, just like this, did you visit while running around with that mercenary friend of yours? How many fights did you get in protecting that princess in your stories? Hmmm?” Rebecca said as she crossed her arms in a show of anger.

“But that’s just it Rebecca! I did all that, and I’m done with it! So are you, and so is Troy!” Sheex said in exasperation. “Your brother is easily one of the strongest men I know, Karel and Vlad being the other two, but what does he do? He patrols a quiet little town, and he is happy! He finds his happiness spending his days here, protecting us from bandits that never come. At least, not since the thrashing he gave the last one. Also explains why the crime rate is so low, now that I think about it.”

“Well...well...what about Regal?” Rebecca shouted back. “I noticed you’re leaving Troy’s friend out of this! Regal’s down some pretty horrible things Sheex!”

“REGAL IS A MORON!” Sheex shouted at the top of his lungs. “Yeah, sure, the man may have been a real terror back in the day, but for god’s sake Rebecca! You wanna know what he did on his last day off? He spent the day having my little daughter of eight years old teaching him how to color inside the lines! Which is all sorts of freaky, don’t get me wrong, but Troy assures me even at his worst, Regal never struck down an innocent around Troy.”

The two locked eyes.

“Don’t-” Rebecca began.

“Which is more than Karel and Vlad can-”

“SHUT UP SHEEX!” Rebecca shrieked. She then hung her head in shame as she spoke in a faint whisper. “Just, stop. Okay?”

Realizing he may of crossed a line, Sheex relented. He then walked over, and embraced his dear friend.

“Sorry. I forget sometimes that you...love Karel,” Sheex said as Rebecca wrapped her arms around him. “It’s just hard for some people, being around that type of power. I’ve seen what Karel can do, and it’s scary.”

“I know Sheex. I really do,” Rebecca whispered as she squeezed out a few tears. “But how hard do you think it is for me? Dealing with all of it?”

“Pretty damn tough, I’d imagine,” Sheex answered as he wiped away Rebecca’s tears with his fingers. “I’ll not say another word on the matter, though don’t say I didn’t warn ya.”

The two walked for a bit slower for a few more minutes, enjoying the company only a dear friend can offer.

“I noticed you left out how much of a leech Regal is,” Rebecca said with a smirk. “Favoring my brother over me, are you?”

“Never,” Sheex smiled back. “Regal’s a horrible leech, who’d probably be dead if Troy wasn’t constantly lending him money. Plus he got Regal that job as a town guard, which in my opinion is an abuse of Troy’s authority as a town guard. Remind me to bring that up at the next town meeting. Hard to believe Troy can put up with the guy, especially considering how often Regal makes fun of Troy’s wife.”

“Meh,” Rebecca flicked her hair as she spoke. “She’s not good enough for Troy anyhow.”

“Now who’s favoring Troy?” Sheex chided as Rebecca elbowed him in the ribs. The two stopped for a moment, and took in their home. The warm breeze, the happy villagers, the complete peace that was Irenes. Rebecca thought back to what Sheex had said earlier.

“Where did you find your contentment Sheex?” Rebecca asked softly as a little girl ran by giggling.

“Hi Mr. Deltin! Hi Mrs. Raven!” The girl yelled as she dashed by, off to who knew where.

“Hey Serenity!” Sheex yelled after the girl, who was already long past gone. He then smiled a peaceful smile. “I find my contentment in playing catch with my son. I find it in the way my little girl sits on my lap during dinner. I find it in my wife’s smile. In her eyes. In her hair.”

Sheex continued to go on about what he loved about Irenes; most of it was about his wife. There was no couple in all of Althanas more in love than Sheex and Leila Deltin. The two were, by definition, soul mates. Eventually, Sheex’s speech was cut short by a slender white hand that wrapped itself around his collar.

“Hello Leila,” Rebecca offered as a red-haired woman in a blue shirt and brown mini-skirt appeared from the shadows and grabbed Sheex.

“Hello Rebecca,” Leila failed to say, for she had grabbed Sheex for a reason, and that reason was to plant a kiss upon his lips, which she did. Furiously. Seriously, Rebecca was a bit embarrassed to be standing next so close to such a passionate kiss.

“Seen Karel and Vlad?” Rebecca asked after the two were done.

“Where else would they be? The bar,” Leila mentioned as she flicked her hair a bit, and motioned towards the building the group had stopped at. The only bar in town, owned and operated by Sheex Deltin and his family.

“Which you were suppose to be watching!” Sheex shouted. “That’s against company policy, it is! Sneaking off while on the clock!”

“Oh no! I’ve been a bad, bad girl! Will I be punished?” Leila yelled in mock fear. Rebecca rolled her eyes.

“I’m afraid so. Company policy; can’t make exceptions, even for a beauty like you. Assume the position!” Sheex ordered to a giggling Leila, who quickly turned around, and leaned up against a nearby building.

“But sir!” Leila laughed. “I had a good reason! Honest! It’s my husband, you see! I just want him so bad, I, I, I just can’t control myself!’

“Oh?” Sheex said as he ran a hand up Leila’s smooth leg. “Well I think I have a OW OW OW! Let go Rebecca!”

“Hey hey hey!” Leila screamed. “Let go of my ear, you damn prude!”

Rebecca, who held the nauseatingly cute couple’s ears in a vice grip, smiled.

“Indecent exposure is against the law you two. Get a room,” Rebecca grinned as Sheex and Leila howled in pain.

“One time! One time!’ Sheex shouted as Rebecca let go of his ear.

“Well, one time we were caught,” Leila muttered as she rubbed the side of her head. “More if you count the times we weren’t caught.”

Sheex chuckled as he wrapped his arms around his wife. A sigh of complete and utter contentment was uttered from the two.

“I’m so envious of you two,” Rebecca whispered. “The love you have, it’s really something, you know? People can just look at you, and see just how much you two love one another. It’s a bit sickening, but at the same time, I want it so.”

“Give it time hon,” Leila said as she patted Rebecca on the shoulder. “You can’t rush love. You need to be patient.”

“Karel will get tired of adventuring eventually. I know I did,” Sheex offered as Rebecca nodded in a sulky manner. She wanted it now.

“Er, wait a sec. Did you say Karel and Vlad were at the bar?” Sheex asked his wife. She nodded.

“Is that a problem? They’ve been good so far,” Leila answered.

“It’s just that Troy said he was going to swing by for a drink after his shift was over. Noel and Regal were going to meet him there...” Sheex let his words fade out softly as a worried look passed through the entire group.

“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Rebecca said timidly.

“I was only gone for a few minutes,” Leila said as she chewed on her thumbnail nervously.

Cautiously, Sheex reached for the door. Anxiously Rebecca and Leila followed him.

“I’m sure we’re freaking out over nothing,” Sheex muttered to the women behind him as he slowly reached for the door. “I bet they’re getting along just...GOD DAMN IT! GET DOWN!”

He quickly grabbed the two women and pulled them to the floor with him; an airborne glass of ale barely missed them. The ale in the glass however, spilled all over the three of them as it passed by, however.

“Shit Karel, I said pass me my beer! Not throw it at me!” Vladimir Sigma yelled.

“Oh? What’s wrong Vlad? I thought you said I throw like a, what words did you use? Pathetic little girl, was it?” Karel Raven retorted.

“He did, and you do. That’s destruction of property by the way. Looks like I’ll have to arrest you Karel. Pity,” Troy Priam muttered as he motioned for Karel to put his hands behind his back.

“FOR THE LAST TIME REGAL! MY BREASTS ARE NOT SMALL! THEY‘RE PERKY!” Noel Priam screamed.

[Zantetsuken]

Karel looked to his brother in law, Vladimir, and gave him a smug look, but it was troy with the last laugh as he twirled his finger and pointed to a wall, bringing out a pair of hand cuffs. Karel gave Troy, his other brother in law, a dead pan look as if the joke was hardly funny, but the glint in Troy’s usual emotionless eyes belied his intent.

“Damaging,” Troy said forcefully. “Private property is a violation of the laws of Irenes. You should be intimate with them Karel, I have only arrested you five or six times since you been here.” Karel felt Troy’s hand grip his arm and the blue swordsman gave him a warning look.

“Shut up and take it, Karel,” The voice of his most hated rival spoke to him from the corner of the bar, leaning back against the wooden top and eyeing the bottom of his beer bottle with a slight grimace. “You throw like a little girl, and now prison will treat you like one,” Karel sighed loudly as he looked to the wall and felt the handcuffs being placed tightly around his wrists.

“Troy, leave my husband alone!” A melodious voice sang through the room, lifting Karel’s spirits as he turned his face to see his beautiful wife. Her brown hair and ocean blue eyes looked to Karel, a bit disgruntled, but full of love as she placed her hands on her hips and gave her brother a challenging stare. “We’ll pay for the glass and Karel will apologize to Sheex, so let him go!”

“Bullshit!” Regal Burnswidth called out, and when Karel looked to him he saw the Demon of Swords placing one hand on Noel’s face, effectively keeping her swinging arms from hitting him as he glared to Troy. “No family pardons! We have laws for a reason!”

“Troy!” Noel piped up, her lungs full of a whine that made everyone cringe. Noel’s cooking was legendary, for how amazing it was. Karel had never in his life tasted food as wonderful as this woman’s food, and he gladly paid the Troy Slayer’s fee of six times the amount she regularly charged just for a smaller portion. However, Noel was also legendary for her whining, a sick, little girl’s whine that was so pathetic you couldn’t feel sorry, but annoyed.

“Troy, you can’t let Karel win like this,” Vladimir pointed out. “He’s broken the law. It’s only fair that he be punished!” Vladimir was always at the center of the fire fight, egging on anything that would break his dear brother’s spirit. Troy and Vladimir, who usually kept a healthy respectful distance from each other, would team up constantly to cause the Saint of Swords no amount of grief.

“Troy, let him go!” Rebecca ordered.

“The law, Troy!” Regal reminded him. His tune quickly changed as Noel kicked him hard in the shin.

“Troy, tell Regal my tits aren’t small!” Troy sighed again, and Karel did with him. This situation was getting out of control. At last Troy looked to everyone and started with Noel.

“Regal, my wife’s tits are none of your concern, so please do shut up about that matter,” He turned to his sister. “Regal has a point, and the man is rather impressionable! I must be a good example for him and the town. I’m sorry, Karel can’t get off the hook.”

“Fine, Tiny-Tits, they aren’t small,” Regal sassed. Noel smiled triumphantly. “They don’t exist,” He laughed, causing Troy to sigh yet again. Noel squealed with rage, hitting Regal multiple times in the arm. “Seriously though, I am highly impressionable.” Vladimir perked up at that comment.

“Your lieutenant of the town guard is an impressionable dolt?” Troy looked to Karel, who shrugged. “Why is such a dangerous man in charge of the town when your gone?” Vladimir pointed out, which ironically made Sheex and Leila nod in hesitant agreement. Vladimir wasn’t well liked in the town, and that had to do with the fact he let loose over sixteen hundred dragons upon the home of Karel.

“You assume I ever leave,” Troy countered. “Regal is only in charge when I’m not around, and that’s not likely to happen. And nobody voiced this concern at the town meeting when I brought up his promotion.” Noel looked to Troy.

“When was that? I don’t remember that meeting.”

“I may have held it on the day after the town’s yearly dance celebration…” Troy muttered. Sheex looked right at Rebecca, as if some deep secret between them presented itself. She shook her head and stepped forwards.

“Troy, you have to release Karel,” She said plainly. “We have plans, remember?” Troy looked to Rebecca, and with a sigh he nodded. “Let him go.”

“Once Karel pays for the glass.” Troy looked to Karel with a smile. The Saint of Swords sighed heavily as Rebecca’s face turned red. Karel had no job in Irenes, save occasionally helping out Sheex when the man was desperate for help. After Karel’s first day where he got arrested for insulting a woman who looked like a man, Sheex needed to be really, really desperate. Most of Karel’s time was out on the go, hunting down the god, Lazarus, and when he returned home he received some allowances from Rebecca. He hated that, and tried to earn a bit of coin of his own on the road, but Vladimir usually ended up making the money, paying for everything. He silently prayed nobody would learn that.

“Karel? Pay for something? When the hell was the last time he did that?” Vladimir blurted. Karel sighed. “Seriously? I buy the meals, I buy the rooms, I buy the supplies. Him? Nothing, not even a bunch of flowers to say thank you! Karel’s as bad as a mooch as Regal is!” Regal looked insulted, but then after a bit of muttering he reluctantly began to concede the point, nodding.

“Karel has the money!” Rebecca said, quickly as if she just thought of something. “Remember my love?” Karel thought about it, and then he hesitantly chuckled.

“I sorta spent it,” Karel mentioned. Rebecca’s eyes went into two slits that could probably kill if given the proper training. The Saint of Swords gulped in cold sweat. “I bought what you asked me to!”

“What did you spend it all on?” Rebecca said darkly.

“Food, eggs, a new chair, and something…else…” Karel said looking at the occupants in the room. Rebecca tapped her foot impatiently.

“What did you spend it on, Karel?” Troy asked amused. Karel gave him a dirty look, then smiled as if he just won some mighty victory.

“I spent it on something for the bedroom, Troy,” Karel replied. “A new toy for she and I to play with. Imagine that, Troy. Me and your sister, together,” Karel continued. It was the only thing Karel could use against Troy, and that was the fact that he was married to his sister.

“Shut up, I don’t want to know anymore!” Troy said violently.

“Uh, Mr. Raven, you only entered the food market and the gardening store…” Noel said sheepishly. “I know that cause I made my weekly food order and I had to get a new tool for my personal garden…I followed you to both places. You even waved to me.” Troy’s eyes narrowed as Vladimir gave Karel a disgusted look.

“My private time with Rebecca is our own thing…” Karel muttered, a bit embarrassed.

“Forget the glass,” Leila said. “You guys are a bunch of freaks! FREAKS! F-R-E-A-K-S!” Sheex chuckled as he pushed Rebecca playfully.

“OH REALLY NOW!” Rebecca said in a huff. “Sheex and Leila proudly display their…their…affection! Why can’t Karel and I do the same?” Rebecca countered.

“Because what they do is cute and fun, what you do is wrong. And by wrong, I mean illegal,” Regal replied. “Seriously, anything involving garden equipment is classified under code thirteen of the Irenes municipal code of indecent behavior.” The room looked to Regal with confused eyes. “What, I study a lot of rules. Can’t be a good town guard if you don’t know the rules…” Regal muttered. “Nami helps me with some of the labor law stuff.”

“How cute,” Sheex said. “I totally don’t see that biting us in the ass later, honey,” Sheex hugged Leila from around her shoulders, kissing her on the cheek. “A nice friendship, nothing more.” Everyone in the room slowly looked up towards the sky.

“Whatever, that’s not the issue! The issue is about the next three weeks! It’s vacation time, and I am taking Karel to go and see mom and dad!” Rebecca told Troy.

“Have fun, and send my love,” Troy said looking to Karel. “Pay up first.”

“Dummy!” Rebecca smiled. “They of course want to see you and Noel as well! They haven’t seen any of us since Karel and I’s wedding day.”

“I still need to find that goat…” Regal muttered. “The midget will not give me back my money until I do…I paid a lot for the bachelor party.”

“Ew, gross…” Noel whined.

“You didn’t seem to mind, honestly,” Regal told Noel. “Then again, you were really, really wasted.”

“Rebecca,” Troy said moving the conversation along. “I am needed here.”

“Well, no, you aren’t. As of the moment your off shift today, you are on vacation. It was approved by me, and Regal is now in charge.”

“What?” Sheex said dropping Vladimir’s beer. The last Knight of Apocalypse looked like someone kicked his puppy. “That idiot? What the hell is wrong with you guys? You abuse power so badly!”

“Seriously!” Leila shouted.

Karel looked to Troy, and then back to Rebecca. Vladimir smiled vilely in the corner of the room as he spoke loudly. “Does anyone remember the last time Karel was with in-laws?” The room remained quiet. Two people knew that Karel had killed Vladimir’s parents. Soon the whole room was about to know.

“No, and this sounds like another interesting Karel Raven, Saint of Murderous Swords story.” Troy looked to Karel with a bit of venom.

“Yeah, my parents invite him to come aboard their airship. They give him a nice room, give him wonderful food, though honestly not as good as Noel’s,” The girl, despite herself, blushed. She did love compliments considering how little people complimented her. “And they even catered to all his whims. Then one insult later, and BAM!” Vladimir slammed his hand on the table for effect. “I’m down a mother and father. In front of his sister too!” The room looked at Karel, and it was Regal who broke the silence.

“For the love of the gods Karel, you are such an ass!”

“Thank you, Regal!” Karel snapped.

“What is it anyway, Karel? Can you honestly not handle a family?” Troy asked, much to Rebecca’s embarrassment.

“His sister was great! In fact, his whole family, minus Karel, would be great. To bad they are all dead.”

“What happened to his sister?” Troy asked.

“Well,” Vladimir said darkly. “I don’t want to kick Karel while he’s down…” The room sighed as Karel looked like he wanted to melt and drift away. “But seriously, he’s a cupcake. I’m sure you’ll all have fun with this trip. Buh bye now!” Vladimir waved them away.

“Yeah, about that…” Rebecca said turning to Vladimir.

[Disillusioned]

Sheex thought to himself as he sat on the floor, neatly tucked away underneath his bar. He had found himself a rather comfortable spot between the high price scotch and the high price whiskey; he kept both behind the bar. Frowning, he reached his hand up to the top of the bar, and began to feel around. He smiled, grabbed a bowl of peanuts off of the bar, and popped one in his mouth, as the room exploded in a hurricane of screams.

"HE IS NOT COMING!" Karel shrieked in a voice that made Vladimir's comment about Karel's masculinity a bit more valid.

"Dear sister, have you actually thought about what you just said?" Troy said in a much softer, more serious voice.

"I, um, don't really think that would go over so well," Noel threw in; Sheex could just imagine the girl fiddling with her fingers nervously as she spoke.

"How about no? And in case that didn't fly, HELL NO!" Vladimir screamed. "One family dinner with Karel is enough to last a life time!"

"I WANT MY MONEY BACK FROM THAT DAMN MIDGET!" Regal shouted, more to be part of the conversation than anything else.

"Hmm. I believe Vladimir screamed the loudest. Odd that," Sheex muttered as he munched on his peanuts. "My money was on Karel."

"At least it's a slow day," Leila huffed as she cuddled up next to her husband on the floor. "No guests to scare away. And Vladimir may have been the loudest, but Karel's voice was definitely the highest."

"Always a slow day when Karel and Vlad are in town. Peanut?" Sheex offered his wife the bowl, she tossed a few into her mouth with a smile. "No one's gonna come when they're here. May as well just be us, Cutie Pie!"

"Well, that's not so bad, is it?" Leila chuckled as she crawled atop Sheex's lap, licking her lips as she did so. "There are...advantages to slow days, you know."

"Oh? Do tell. No, wait! Screw the telling, skip to the screwing, er, showing!" The bowl of peanuts was quickly tossed aside.

The scene on the other side of the bar, was quite different.

"He has to come!" Rebecca whined as the entire room glared at her. "He's family too!"

"So?" Karel blurted out. "He's a monster! He burned my home to ash! What, you want a repeat performance?"

"You're not too far behind in the infamous deeds category yourself Karel," Vladimir spat. "Your sword kills just a surely as my dragons."

"And as indiscriminately as well, or so I have been led to believe," Troy added in. "Though your dragons rank a tad higher in the mass killing category, so I wouldn't worry about Karel taking away your title just yet, Vladimir."

"I noticed you said yet," Vladimir pointed out sourly.

"Indeed I did. Now then, what in the world are you thinking Rebecca?" Troy asked softly as he walked over to his sister, who was feeling very much alone right now. "You cannot bring a mass murderer to our parents' home."

"He'll be good Troy!" Rebecca whined in a rather childlike manner. "You can make sure he behaves, right?"

"ME?" Troy barked. "I will have my hands full making sure your husband does not decide to do an encore of Vladimir's parents! Tell me Karel, did you use that little trick of your's to kill them? What was it again? The one where you explode all the veins in a person's body?"

"Yeah," Regal snorted next to Noel. "Troy's not too fond of that move cause Karel killed him with it."

"That's why Karel pays the Troy-Slayer fee of six times the normal amount!" The girl chirped. "Though, I am glad to see that Troy got better!"

"That's Althanas for you. Death's a revolving door," Vladimir threw in off-handedly. "And no, he didn't use Abscindo Venas. He just cut them. A thousand times. I'm not exaggerating. One. Thousand. Cuts."

Everyone looked at Karel with disgust, save for Rebecca. She could not bear to look at him.

“By the god’s man!” Troy swore. “What is wrong with you? I won’t ask if you can simply not kill, for you have already proven that is well beyond your ability!”

“Troy...” Rebecca muttered softly as she rubbed her shoulders in no small amount of anxiety.

“But is it impossible for you to kill someone without resorting to obscene amounts of gore and blood? Have you some unhealthy obsession with causing pain?”

“Troy!” Rebecca shouted.

“Or perhaps you consider it an art form? I admit, there is a certain depravity to your actions that transcends humanity!” Troy continued to spit at his brother-in-law.

“TROY!” Rebecca cried once more.

“No, wait! I have it! Vladimir, call the papers! He’s just a lost little boy, crying for attention! Perhaps, and I’ll not wager more than that, perhaps if we had the entire bloody world revolve around Karel, he might have just enough attention to only maim a person. What say you, Karel? Perhaps a limb or two will satisfy your hunger?”

“TROY!” Rebecca shrieked as loud as she could (which was pretty loud).

“WHAT?” Troy shouted back. He then calmed down a bit, seeing who he was addressing. “Can I do for you, my dear sister?”

“Can I talk to you? Privately?” Rebecca did not so much ask as demand. She walked over, grabbed Troy’s collar, and led him away.

“Mr. Deltin!” Troy shouted. Sheex quickly appeared from behind the bar.

“Yes sir!” Sheex answered with a salute. Troy frowned at him.

“Put it away, will you?” The man asked as he looked away, several other members of the bar coughed. Sheex looked down, chuckled slightly, and zipped up his pants. Once he was finished, Troy continued. “Tell Karel and Vladimir if they so much as look at one another cross-eyed while I am gone, I’ll fling them into a cell, and won’t let them out until they’ve resolved their differences!”

Two steps later, he quickly retracted his statement.

“On second thought, people tend to die when those two resolve their differences. Instead, I shall dump one of them on the most remote continent I can find. Perhaps that will suffice.”

“See Karel, that’s called foresight,” Vladimir chuckled. “The ability to see through a chain of events to its logical end. It’s what we lack, and what makes Troy a far better man than either of us.”

“Spare me the flattery Vladimir,” Troy managed to mutter before he was pulled off into another room.

“Hey! That’s for employees only!” Sheex shouted after them. “Ah, hell with it. Anyone want a peanut?”

As he offered a nearly empty bowl of peanuts about, Leila rose from behind the bar, breathing heavily.

“Whew! What’d I miss?” She asked.

“The three buttons in the middle of your shirt for starters,” Noel muttered. Leila quickly swore, turned around, and adjusted herself. After she had finished, an awkward silence settled over the room.

“So...” Sheex mumbled as he grabbed a few more peanuts. No one else seemed to want any.

“How’s the kids?” Karel asked as he pulled up a seat at the bar. Of the assembled group, only Sheex and Leila had children, a boy and a girl. There was never a happier family than the four members of the Deltin family.

“Wonderful!” Leila answered back. “Guy got all A’s this year!”

“Guy’s a smart kid,” Regal muttered as he sat down next to Karel.

“Smarter than you!” Noel yelled as she sat down next to Regal.

“Well yeah, he has to be. He couldn’t help me with my reading if he wasn’t,” Regal said off-handedly. The entire group rolled their eyes, save for Sheex, who frowned. He fished out a bottle of rather high-quality beer from the bar, snapped the top off, and walked over to Vladimir (who sat by himself several feet away from the group).

“On the house,” Sheex muttered quietly to the man as he laid the beer in front of him. He gently touched the knight on the shoulder, smiling sadly as he did so. Karel had run his sword through Vladimir’s infant son, killing the boy in front of Vladimir, Vladimir’s wife Serra (Karel’s sister), and Sheex.
Sheex Deltin was never able to look at Karel Raven the same way after that dark day.

[KOA]

Vladimir thanked Sheex as he turned to rest his right elbow on the bar as he wrestled his fingers into the nearly empty bowl of pretzels. Watching Rebecca drag Troy away by the ear was mildly entertaining, but as always when Troy left the room tension would rise. Sometimes, being the vile man that he was, had its downfalls.

The knight couldn’t blame them, however. Irenes was a simple, peaceful town. His life wasn’t meant to fit into such a world such as this. Where Vladimir Sigma treaded, destruction followed. His boots were dirtied by the lands he devastated, tinged red by the blood he had shed. For all the jokes and jabs at Karel’s expense, the monster in the room was truly, and always would be, Vladimir.

While once content with the prospect of being feared wherever he treaded; once titillated by the notion that an entire village would rather pick and flee than even look upon, he now looked into the faces of the only people who could stomach his presence long enough not to scream and run for the hills. Noel gave him a nervous glance, Karel gave him a dark glare, Sheex and Leila never once stopped holding hands as if this could be their last moment together ever. Even the moron of Irenes, Regal Burnswidth, held his hand close to his weapon, eyes tinted red at the sudden expectation to fight the man who bested Karel Raven.

Seeing them in this way no longer brought him joy, no longer brought him content. It made him realize just how far he threw his soul aside. He had dreamed, Vladimir Sigma had, but now he realized he dreamed perhaps too big. For the only thing Vladimir wanted more than anything was to be rid of his sword, hold his darling Serra once more, and watch his son run off with the other children in Irenes.

The image made his heart tremble and with a violent motion of his arm he drank deep the alcohol offered by the one man in Irenes who despite his nature still showed kindness to him. True, Troy had shown Vladimir respect, but that was more in a military sort of fashion, as well as in the way one doesn’t underestimate their potential foe. Yet Sheex, he was different. Thaynes knew the man feared Vladimir, but despite that fear he didn’t let it change him like other people. Just like Karel’s wife. Strange how these people accepted the monster, but unlike other people, they weren’t foolhardy about it. Well…at least not Sheex.

“Honestly, I just think Guy will be great at whatever he does,” Karel mentioned off handedly bringing the night back into the group’s conversation. “Kid can master most things quickly when he applies himself.”

“That could be said about any child! When Troy and I have a kid, he’s going to be the smartest kid in the whole wide world!” Noel chirped, which made everyone roll their eyes. Regal sat upon a barstool reaching for the pretzels, Vladimir taking a few more and shoving the basket his way. The demon of swords popped a few into his mouth before leaning against the bar.

“If I ever have a kid,”

“God forbid,” Sheex muttered, causing a chorus of nods. Regal continued on ignoring the comment.

“I’d want them to be smart, stay in school, and learn something useful to do. Not like me. I burned down my school, chased Karel around for years, and now I‘m a town guard.” Regal shrugged, which was odd as he had no reason to. “Not everyone is going to be as lucky as me and get it right without an education.” Vladimir chuckled.

“You almost had an intelligent thought for once, Regal,” Vladimir saluted the Demon of Swords. “Now shut up. On the important scale of things I must really decline Rebecca’s offer, Karel. Do whatever the hell it takes to get me out of this trip.”

“I’ll be honest with you, Vlad,” Karel replied taking a seat next to Regal and kicking a stool over as Noel thanked him and hopped onto the seat. Leila smiled grabbing a few bowls of pretzels for everyone as Sheex began wiping up the crumbs, which were most notably by Regal. Karel gave his brother in law a sideways glance. “If Sheex can’t convince her, nobody can. She’s more stubborn than the two of us combined.”

“A scary prospect,” Sheex added. “Since both of you can’t seem to drop your swords without a death threat from Troy.”

“Hey, I drop my weapons off at the designated zone without hesitation. Karel’s the baby with separation anxiety.” Vladimir pointed out with a sly grin. Karel rolled his eyes again as he looked to the clock. It was still pretty early in the day. “Seriously though, do you really think this is a good idea?” Vladimir looked to Karel, making sure he understood what the man meant. Currently, the two were hunting down the relics of the Deity Lazarus, and destroying them. By destroying them, thus weakening the god artificer who was the mastermind behind Karel’s and Vladimir’s mutual destruction, they could hope to fight and kill the god. Every moment not pursuing those goals gave Lazarus more time to repair the damage they had done.

“You know,” Karel said shrugging. “We kinda owe her, Vlad. I think we can put our break on an extended vacation. For her sake.” Vladimir looked to his brother in law, and then nodded once downing the last of his beer.

“Fine,” The Last Knight of the Horsemen muttered. “I’ll come, for her sake.” Noel smiled, though genuine at first as she was happy her family would be coming with her, but then slowly turning more horrified as the realization set in.

“So that means…you’ll….with us…come?” Noel looked ready to hyperventilate. Sheex was actually dragging his nails into the wood of his bar as he looked back to see Troy and Rebecca return, and Karel sighed nodding his head.

“Yup, he’s coming. Besides, he’s family,” Karel said patting the petite woman on the shoulder with a smile.

“Ah crap!” Noel whined.

[Disillusioned]

“You have to stop acting like this Troy! Karel is your family!” Rebecca pleaded with her brother.

“A fact I have never disputed, which is more than they can say,” Troy responded as he crossed his arms and leaned back against a wall. “Do not tell me to be nice to him. Compared to your husband, I am a saint.”

“But Troy!”

“I do not ask your reasons. I do not ask for you to change your feelings. Do you understand how hard it is for me to be in the same room as them? One is a mass murderer who burned an entire island out of spite. The other likes to cut up children. Children my dear sister!”

“GOD DAMN IT TROY!” Rebecca shrieked as she weakly hit her brother with her fist.

“And for some unknown reason, the memory of him shredding my veins with his sword-magic offends me. I cannot imagine why.”

“Troy I...I...I...” Rebecca let her voice fade out as she fell to her knees. She began sobbing softly, all the while apologizing to her brother as she did so. Her brother let out a long sigh.

He did not like Karel Raven. The Saint Of Swords was not a good man in Troy‘s mind; far from it. However, Troy Priam loved his sister more than life itself. She was everything good and bright in the world. There was never a pair of siblings closer than Rebecca and Troy, and on the dark day Troy had ran away from home, she had followed. When Karel had slain Troy, his sister sacrificed her soul to bring him back. He then battled demons and, with the help of Sheex, pierced the veil of mortality to bring his sister back into this world.

Troy Priam may have hated Karel Raven and Vladimir Sigma greatly, but he loved his sweet sister with all his heart.

“Forgive me Rebecca. I have been cruel,” He whispered as he knelt down and wrapped his arms around his sister. “I will try harder. I swear it.”

“No no no! It’s my fault! All mine! AND HIS!” Rebecca moaned as she cried. “He killed you Troy! HE KILLED MY BROTHER!”

“But now I am back, as are you. We live again, and we will make the most of our lives. We did not cheat death, for we are still very much mortal. We simply bought ourselves an extension, and I will make the most of this acquired time. My blade protects my home, my hand helps my friends, and my heart will always beat for my family. My dear, sweet family."

He gently kissed Rebecca on her forehead. She sniffled slightly, and then curled up in his arms.

"The...the townspeople. They don't...they don't hate me too much, do they Troy? For bringing Karel and Vlad here, I mean. I know they're afraid of them, but they promised me they would never hurt Irenes!" Rebecca asked between sniffles.

"You are very much loved by Irenes, sweet sister. Say what you like about Regal, but there's no one I would rather have at my side in a fight. The two of us are enough to keep the people calm," Troy answered as he stroked her hair.

"And Sheex? I know he loses business whenever those two are in town. He doesn't...he doesn't resentment me, does he Troy?" She asked in the softest of voices.

"Sheex is, without a doubt, the dearest of your friends. He is a man of rare caliber, and I do not believe I am wrong in saying he would happily lose his bar if it would make you feel better."

"But those two always hang around Sheex's! He can't possibly want that! I know he's like most people. Scared of what those two could do if they..." Troy did not let her finish.

"He lets them stay at his bar because he loves his home, and he knows that it is better to keep Karel and Vladimir out of sight from the rest of the town. He does this for his home, and for you."

"But the money-"

"Is not something he is too concerned about, nor is Leila. However, he does not lose as much as you think. We've made an arrangement, you see. The people who skip their visit to his bar when...our family is in town, often end up at Noel's."

Noel's cooking was so good, she was able to open up her own restaurant, which had always been her life long dream. To this date, she has never had a bad year (her food really was that good).

"Alcohol sales go up quite a bit on those days. She simply sends a serving girl over to Sheex's to buy the drinks from him. So, you see, it is not as bad as you think," Troy finished.

"She does that for Sheex? Really?"

"For Sheex, and for me. She knows how important seeing you happy is to me. Noel really is quite wonderful to me, you know?"

"I guess she does all right, sometimes," Rebecca muttered. Troy chuckled.

"Please do not tell me that was a jab at me. I think you will find you come up a tad short in the spouse department, compared to my Noel. I do not have to lend her money, for starters."

"Of course not. She's your sugar momma, and you're her boy toy!" Rebecca giggled. "I do hope she doesn't mistreat you too much at night!"

"Skip the sex talk, if you please! I will have at least seven nightmares from the previous conversation," Toy muttered as he shook his head, and did his best to not try and deduce what garden tool had been used, and how.

"Oh yes, yes indeed! I myself love the idea of my brother going to bed with what looks like a little boy at night! Talk about perverted!" The smile had finally returned to Rebecca's face, and it was truly a wonderful smile.

"As much as you pick on her, one would think you really have it out for her," Troy said in a softer tone. Rebecca hesitated before answering.

"I think I'm a bit jealous. Noel get's you, while I get the ah, misunderstood artist." Rebecca let out a long sigh. "I suppose being blessed with ravishing hair, silky skin, and sparkling intelligence must come with a price, yes?"

Rebecca laughed as Troy shook his head and stood up, helping his sister stand while he did so.

"Well, as we inherited the same genes, I won't argue. ‘Tis a compliment to me as well, in a way.”

“Oh, very much so! I find your hair quite ravishing. Did I mention my full breasts? I have those too! Big, full breasts! Breasts so full and supple-”

“Did we not have a family vacation to plan? I believe we did,” Troy offered as he made for the door.

“It can wait. Now, if we look at your wife’s breasts, or lack there of, you will notice one major difference. Hey! Troy! Wait for me!”

*~*~*~*~

“You’re full of it Sheex!” Karel laughed. The whole group was huddled at the bar, as Sheex talked over it. Everyone, save for Vladimir, who remained distanced by several feet.

Oh, and Leila. She had her arms wrapped around her husband, and was huddled next to him, not the bar.

“I’m serious! This little goblin looks me straight in the eye, and goes,” Sheex did his best goblin impression; a squeaky, croaky voice. “You great strategist! You stay with Mug-Mug. You have all the goblin women you want...”

“That um, can’t be legal, Mr. Deltin!” Noel laughed loudly. Sheex had passed out a few drinks, and she was quite the light weight. Although, no one was as light of a weight as Karel. Sheex had slipped him a non-alcoholic drink.

“Actually, I don’t think there’s anything about interspecies sex in the law book,” Regal grunted. “Gonna have to change that. Mention something at the next town meeting.”

“Whew! Glad some scaly goblin gal didn’t bag you before I did!” Leila laughed as she sipped at her drink.

“No! No! It get’s better!” Sheex laughed back as he rubbed Leila’s back. “So I tell him no deal, and he gives me a knowing look.”

“He says, ‘Ahhh, Mug-Mug understand.’ Then he leans in real close like, and goes, ‘give you all the goblin men you want too!’ No joke.”

The bar erupted into a fit of laughter as Troy and Rebecca re-entered.

“Well, we had a talk, and I decided that there’s no way I can stay here without you to keep me in check! Guess that means you get to put up with me for a few more weeks!” Vladimir said as he spun about on his bar stool. Troy clucked his tongue.

“As if there was any other way it could be. This is a family trip, and you are...part of my family. So pack your bags Vladimir, and do clean yourself up. This is not one of your forays into an uncharted land to slay a god, this is a social call to my mother and father,” Troy finished as Rebecca beamed at him and, in a voice no one could hear but him, whispered softly.

“Thank you Troy...”

“Damn good point Mr. Priam! And that means I‘ll be holding on to these suckers a bit longer, yeah?” Sheex shouted as he picked up two swords from behind his bar; Troy‘s logic was irrefutable. “Karel! Vlad! I‘ll let you have five minutes with your swords. In separate rooms, away from one another.”

“I told you Karel is the one with the seperation anxiety!” Vladimir spat as he shoved his sword away, and back towards Sheex.

“Just trying to be nice. Have a good trip!” Leila chimed in. “And don’t tell that fish joke Vlad. It’s, ah, not very appropriate. Or in good taste for that matter.”

“You laughed at it,” Vladimir mumbled.

“Meh. Not the daughter of a wealthy merchant. Oooh! I bet they have nice shoes there! Do they have nice shoes there, Rebecca?”

“The best! Stop looking so sulky, Karel. There was this one pair, Leila, that I had when I was a teenager...” The girls quickly began a discussion about shoes, which no one cared about save for the two of them, plus Noel. And strangely Regal.

“I don’t see why Troy gets to keep his,” Karel whined. “Doesn’t seem very fair to me.”

“Ah! Good point!” Sheex held out his hand. “Troy, if you would?”

“I am the captain of the town guards. I am well within my rights to carry a sword,” Troy responded coolly. Sheex nodded a bit.

“True, but you’re going to your parents’ place in Benzer-”

“Where I was a soldier, though certainly not a very good one. Even so, I am well within my rights to carry a sword there as well.”

“Valid point! But, you know, just so Karel doesn’t feel all picked on-”

“My blade has neither been raised against an innocent, nor touched the blood of the helpless.”

“Very much unlike your’s Karel,” Sheex said with a frown. “Still...”

“And I shall return to my father with the gift he gave me many days ago,” Troy said as he gently touched the sword at his side. Sheex nodded solemnly, and then turned to Karel.

“Well gee, I tried my best Karel, but gosh darn it, that ol’ Priam logic was just too damn good!” Sheex shrugged as Vladimir walked over, and placed a hand on Karel’s shoulder.

“Basically, what they’re saying is, quit your damn bitchin!” Vladimir shouted as he smacked Karel on the back of the head. The Saint Of Swords muttered a few words under his breath, looked longingly at his sword, and then turned away. Sheex gazed at the blades of Karel and Vladimir, blades that had taken countless lives, brought about countless tears, and ended countless dreams. He then smacked them together, told them to be good, and tossed them back under the bar.

“Okay okay!” Rebecca shouted cheerfully. “Let’s get going! We have to pack! Noel, you packed in secret, like I told you to on Saturday, right?”

“More like ordered to,” Leila chuckled as Noel nodded vigorously. “Seriously girl, you get down right violent when the drinks starts flowing!”

“I know! She threatened to knife me!” Noel pouted. “Then, she showed me the knife!”

Saturday nights are known for many things, but for the three girls, Saturday night was girls’ night out. Or rather, girls’ night in, for all they did was get drunk at Rebecca’s place. With Sheex’s alcohol.

“Seriously, what do you guys do on Saturday?” Karel asked as he got up to leave.

“Well, we drink-” Leila began.

“Kinda figured that one. Which reminds me, I have to get more tequila. You stole it all,” Sheex muttered to himself as he quickly wrote himself a small note.

“And we talk about guys! And how much you suck!” Noel spat. Karel looked offended, Troy raised an eyebrow, and Sheex gave Leila a curious look.

“More of a licker, myself. If you know what I mean. I believe the sucking is your department. One that you are very good at,” Sheex teased.

“We offer a bit of womanly advice to Noel too. Just, you know, girl stuff,” Rebecca added in as she stroked her hair a bit.

“Well, Leila does. You threaten me!” Noel whined. “If I don’t do this you’ll beat the tar out of me! If I don’t do that, Troy won’t see me for a week! She’s really, really violent!”

“I am not! And I always apologize!” Rebecca shouted as she crossed her arms and stamped her feet. Everyone looked at Leila, the sole voice of reason among the three women.

“What do you do?” Troy hesitated to ask.

“Mostly keep them from killing each other, at least until they fall atop one another,” Leila answered.

“Seriously? That’s kinda hot,” Regal muttered as he gave the two women a very creepy look.

“We do not!” Rebecca yelled.

“Yeah! Well, at least not that I remember!” Noel agreed.

“You don’t remember it because you’re too busy burying your head in Rebecca’s breasts, wishing you had them!” Leila spat as she pointed an accusing finger at Noel. The young woman turned a deep shade of red, while Leila then turned her attention to Rebecca. “And you’re too busy talking about things even I won’t repeat, because they’re just plain nasty!”

“Two women? One with her head in the other’s breasts, while the other talks dirty? Yowza,” Sheex chuckled. “Now that’s a party!”

“Eh, it’s not what you think,” Leila muttered as she played with her fingernails. “Most of it involves Troy.”

“WHAT?” The man blurted out as he turned to his sister, who was three different shades of red.

“Time to go pack! Go go go!” Rebecca ordered as she began to shove people about.

“That’s it! I’m coming to the next one!” Sheex slammed his fist as Rebecca passed by. “I want to see some girl-on-girl-dirty-brother-sex-talk!”

“Girl’s only! Bye Sheex! Watch the house for me!” Rebecca snapped, rather happily.

“Yeah! Unless you want to wear a dress!” Noel laughed as Troy walked over to her and held out his hand. Once taken, Troy smoothly wrapped his arms around her, and lifted her up off her feet. She blushed as he carried her out, for Troy was not prone to affection. When he did show affection, it was for someone he cared for deeply. As Noel was madly in love with him, it made her extremely happy every time he reminded her that he too, was very much in love with her.

“Hmm. Perhaps not,” Sheex muttered. Leila licked her lips, and wrapped her arms around him.

“I don’t know, I might like to see that.” She playfully licked his ear.

“Well, for you maybe. But it has to be a pretty dress.”

“Oh! Oh! Can we play dress-up?”

“If you like, but I’d rather play dress-down myself.”

Everyone turned to look at the young couple, who were staring into one another’s eyes in the most loving way imaginable. They were also touching one another in a way that was a bit loving, but mostly dirty.

“Um, excuse me? Don’t you guys have a family vacation to plan? In-laws to meet?” Sheex asked as he pointed to the door. “Have a good trip, and GET THE HELL OUT OF MY BAR!”

On the way out, Vladimir tapped Rebecca on the shoulder.

“Cute and fun,” He said as he pointed to Sheex and Leila. He then pointed to Rebecca and Karel. “Just plain wrong.”

[Zantetsuken]

Karel sighed as Rebecca grabbed his shirts from the inside of his suitcase and tossed them into a corner, replacing them with brand new, unopened packages she had purchased the night before. When he reached for his pants she coughed lightly, making the Saint of Swords sigh heavily once again. She placed brand new pants in the suitcase, shut it with a click, and turned to Karel with a loving smile.

“Hmm, I suppose I should leave my coat behind?” Karel asked in a somewhat grouchy tone. Rebecca eyed him sternly before shrugging as she approached him.

“It is filthy,” She muttered. “Yes, leave it behind. I’ll buy you a new one on the way out of town. I did like the white one you wore all those years back.”

“You mean the one I wore when Regal challenged my for my title and the estranged shit storm that followed it?” Karel spoke callously as he leaned against the wall looking to his wife. “You know, where that insane bastard continuously challenged me until he threatened to harm you if I didn’t accept? Then when I showed him mercy he got pissed and tried again to kill me. And after all that your brother-” Rebecca rammed her shoulder into Karel as she headed towards the door.

“You’re right, it was a terrible color for you,” Rebecca said darkly as she walked out the room. “Maybe something black would work better. A dark, soulless black, yes. It can match your heart.” Karel looked to her as she entered the kitchen and stood limply at the table, shivering. Karel looked to the heavens as he ran a hand through his long black hair, muttering how much he hated being himself at times, but looked to the suitcase and turned with a softer half smile. He removed his jacket and let it fall to the floor as he approached Rebecca and prepared to wrap his arms around her.

“I think not, Sword Saint,” Rebecca chastised him with a sniffle.

“Hun, I admit I lost my temper and I do apologize for it, but please do not do this right now. We are about to be in a carriage for nearly three to four days and I’d hate for it to be in eternal silence. I am…cranky because of the sudden push for all this. That is all.” Rebecca turned to look her husband in the eyes, looking at his brown orbs with a glare that could shatter stone. Karel did not shy away from her look as he waited for her to speak.

“Do you have any idea what life in Irenes is like being married to you?” Rebecca whispered. “How I go to work everyday hearing whispers that I am married to the legendary slayer, related to the abomination Vladimir Sigma?”

“I do not pretend to understand that pain I put you through, Rebecca, it would be disrespectful of me to assume. I know, I know how hard it is for you to be married to me, and everyday I wake up I look to you and realize just how incredibly lucky I am to have you in my heart.”

“Damn lucky!” Rebecca corrected him, though her edge was softly cracking.

“I am damn lucky!” Karel replied. “That I have the most beautiful, sexiest, intelligent woman in all the world as the one I call my wife.” Rebecca giggled as Karel lifted a hand to hers and kissed it.

“Well, someone has to make up for you failures.” Karel pulled her into his arms as he held her tightly. “I just…Karel this is important to me, this really is! I need my family to approve of you! I can barely stand Troy’s intense dislike of you, but my family as well would be just to much!” She pleaded with Karel and he silenced her with the softest of kisses.

“Then as the Saint of Swords I swear upon the blades that are hiding in Sheex’s tavern that I will do everything in my power to make your parents approve of me.” Rebecca looked to him with a hesitant eye, and Karel kissed her again trying a new tactic. “If that is not enough then how about I promise as your husband to make this the best vacation ever!”

“Um…still not convincing my love,” Rebecca admitted. Karel looked to her quizzically as they both walked down the hall to their room.

“What if I swore on my parents grave?”

“Isn’t it surrounded by dragons?”

“Touché, that would indeed be hard to swear on.” Karel kissed her neck. “What about on Vladimir’s life? If I screw up at least we all win.” Rebecca stifled a laugh.

“Karel you couldn’t kill Vlad for nearly forty years, what the hell makes you think you can now?”

“Again, you have a valid point.” Rebecca tilted one hand gracefully to his chin where she patted him lovingly before kissing him.

“It is our Priam Logic, Karel. You stand no chance,” She giggled as Karel nodded his head.

“What if I just said this,” Karel turned her so she faced him, sitting her on the bed as he looked her dead square in the eye. “On all my love I have for you, Rebecca Raven, I promise to do the very best I can at not embarrassing you at this family get together.”

“Hmmm…still sounds far fetched…” She said. Karel leaned into her, grunting in mock anger as his fingers found her side and began to tickle her. She laughed as they went at it, Karel making obnoxious noises as the two pushed the suitcase off the bed, Karel giving chase as they darted around the room. Eventually Rebecca turned the tables as she managed to lift Karel’s shirt up enough to find his soft skin on the side of his belly. Karel let out a yelp of surprise as his wife went to town on him. After several minutes of this they both collapsed awkwardly off the bed, Karel hitting his back to the floor with his legs straddling his bed, Rebecca’s body collapsed into a ball that laid across his chest. They looked to each other and kissed deeply before she pulled away.

“Okay, I accept your promise to not embarrass me.” Rebecca kissed him again. “Though if you do, I get to use the new garden tool on you first.”

“Oh?” Karel said in mock challenge. “And just what did you have in mind?”

“Well I plan to take it like so…” She said in a husky voice reaching under the bed.

During this time Vladimir had brought forth his one satchel filled with fresh clothes he had bought, along with a new cape to wear as his older one he left for his adventuring. Because the man had such a deep respect for Rebecca he made sure each and every inch of his body would be presentable in time to meet Karel’s parents in law. He also arranged to meet with Rebecca to go over the last minute details before heading to the stable to purchase grain for his horse. Normally not one to care for to many customs he didn’t bother knocking when he entered Karel’s home. Hearing them talking in the bedroom he naturally assumed they were packing and headed right towards their door. What he saw was for the best to never be mentioned ever again.

“OH THAYNE’S SAKE KAREL! NOT CUTE AND FUN!” And Vladimir turned to leave, the image of Rebecca and Karel burned into his mind forever.

[Disillusioned]

Troy neatly tucked away the last of his clothes, and then shut the last case of his luggage. He turned to his wife, who was struggling with her luggage. As previously stated, she had already packed everything she would need. However, she was having no small amount of trouble carrying said things.

"Allow me," Troy offered as he gracefully picked up his wife's luggage and set them on the top of his. "I will carry them out when the carriage arrives. You have everything you need?"

"Yes. Ummm? Troy?" Noel played with her fingers nervously. "Your family's rich, right?"

"It would be a lie if I said no. Mother and Father are certainly well off, to say the least."

"And...and I bet they're high-class too huh?"

"Not in private actually. Though in public, a certain level of etiquette is expected. Do not worry, I doubt we will attend many social functions." Noel turned a dark shade of red. At this point she had managed to tangle up her own fingers (however that was possible), and she had begun the arduous task of untangling theme.

"But...but we will be going out, right?" Noel managed to stutter. Troy coolly raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yes. I do not imagine that we will be spending the entire trip inside the house. Oh, we will be staying at my parents' home, so do not concern yourself with getting a hotel room. I assure you, they will insist.

"Oh, oh I don't really need to go out! I can stay inside all day long actually!" Noel chirped as she finally managed to free her fingers.

"But, but you have never been to Benzer before, correct?" Troy asked, Noel nodded in assent. "There are many things to see. I know of a nice restaurant by the sea, a perfect place to eat. I shall take you there, you will enjoy it. I promise."

The fact that Noel did not immediately tackle Troy to the ground, pounce on top of him, and scream "YES YES YES" meant that something was very wrong.

"That's not necessary! I mean, I love cooking! No need to pay for others to do it for me, right?" The short girl squeaked.

"Well, I suppose. If that is what you want. Still, you must see at least one play with me. The Alteria Playhouse is legendary. I guarantee a good time." Noel made a motion of "that would be wonderful," but she quickly restrained herself.

"Oh, I don't think that's a good idea. I don't really like plays."

"Then why, pray tell, did you practically beg me to take you to the most recent Zidane Cecil play two towns over?"

"Er. Fancial whim. I thought, hey, why not give it a shot? Yup, didn't like it. Just like I thought."

"So why did I go through all the trouble of getting that poster you wanted? The one where Zidane is standing valiantly atop a cliff?"

"Well, well you were in line anyway! Plus it is a cute picture! Look at Zidane!" Noel pointed to the wall she had hung the poster up on. "He's so cute!"

"How about a long walk in the gardens? There are quite a few about the town."

"I, er, have allergies. Can't go."

"Shopping trip then. Benzer has more stores than, well, anywhere. It is a merchant city."

"Oh, it's better to save money I think. No need to waste our hard earned cash on junk we'll never use!"

It was at this point that Troy turned his gaze to the two closets in the room (the Priam's in Irenes had a rather large house). The doors of both closets were open, as the two had recently been packing and moving about their clothes. Troy's closest was in pristine condition, organized to the point where a passerby would have good reason to call him just a tiny bit obsessive compulsive. His wife's, on the other hand, was a shipwreck. Literally.

No, seriously, it was. The other day she had bought a model of a ship, had Troy build it for her (via constant nagging), and it now lay in ruins amidst the rest of the objects she had crammed away in that closet. At this point, it was less of a closet, and more of a storage area for junk she'd never use.

"What is wrong?" Troy asked softly as he coolly raised an eyebrow, and calmly placed a hand on Noel's shoulder. "Do you not want to go? We do not have to if you do not wish to."

"Liar," Noel pouted, "like you'd say no to your sister. She's got you wrapped around her little finger!"

"I may be extra kind to her, but-"

"Replace 'be extra kind to' with fawn over.'"

Noel finished this last statement with a huff as she plopped down on the (rather large) bed, and crossed her arms. Displaying the near infinite patience Troy had developed when dealing with his wife (and his sister), he calmly walked over to her. With a soft smile, he crouched low so that he was eye level with Noel, and leaned his head to the side.

"Do you not want to go on vacation?" He asked kindly.

"No," Noel muttered back.

"Do you not want to visit my parents?" Again, he was very kind in his asking.

"No! I really do! I just..." Noel's voice faded out.

"Not want to go with Karel and Vladimir?"

"Psh. Who would? No, that's not it."

"Do you not want to go with my sister?" Troy's voice was very soft when he spoke this time. Not menacing, not accusing, simply soft and quiet.

"I bet that hurt to say," Noel whispered softly. "No, I love you're sister. Even if she is a bit mean to me."

"I promise to take it out on Karel for you," Troy offered, perhaps a bit too quickly. Noel giggled anyway.

"No, that's not it. It's just that I'm, well. A bit afraid I'll embarrass you," Noel rubbed her arms nervously as Troy sat down next to her, and wrapped his arms around her in turn.

"Now, why would you think that?" Troy asked. He then instantly regretted it.

"Let's see," Noel began to count off, "I'm a klutz, I get nervous easily, I have a grating voice, I'm shy, I'm bad around nobility."

"Not to nitpick, but weren't you a noble in Emprea?"

"Yup. I did not fit in there. Actually, I was about as good a noble as I was a soldier."

Long story short, Noel Priam (formerly Noel Spero) was once a soldier in a land call Emprea. If one were to check a map of Althanas, they would not find this country, for it had been burned to cinders by an invading army. There was literally nothing left of Emprea, its people had been scattered to the winds.

A sad story, but on a lighter note, Emprea was where Noel had met Troy. She had (unexpectedly and completely reluctantly) been charged with guarding a fort where Troy (as well as Regal) had been drafted to defend. Simply put, her defense was miserable, and the only reason the fort had held out as long as it did was because of Troy, who was able to put up an apt defense despite the odds stacked against him. He, unlike Noel, had a bit of a tactical mind. Unless of course Troy was asked about it, in which case he would simply state he was actually a very poor soldier.

However, the main point of this little side story was girl meets boy, girl falls for boy, girl whines over boy, girl fawns over boy, girl annoys the crap out of boy, and boy realizes just how wonderful the girl actually is. Despite her long list of failures. Speaking of which...

"I also tend to squeak loudly when I'm nervous, I don't do well in crowds, and I'm as flat as a door." If one could paint a picture of the utmost patheticness, that picture would be Noel's face at this very moment in time.

“You have been hanging out with my sister to much. Well, just allow me to say one thing,” Troy scooped Noel into his lap, “I happen to think you are a wonderful woman, that you are very pretty, and I do not believe you will embarrass me. However, even if you do, I simply do not care.”

Noel blinked once, and then began to playfully poke Troy in the side.

“Hee hee. You looove me!” She did this whenever Troy was extremely romantic towards her (well, what qualified as extremely romantic for him in any case). Troy blushed.

“I simply said what I thought. No more.” Noel continued to poke and prod him, much to his dismay.

“Hee hee. Troy really loooves me!” With a deft hand, Troy grabbed Noel’s finger mid-poke.

“Indeed I do. Just what do you intend to do about it?” He asked with a grin. Noel grinned back, and began to trace her other finger up and down her husband’s chest. Troy managed a chuckle as Noel did the top button of his shirt, his blue eyes gazed upon her with purest affection.

"Knock knock!" Vladimir yelled as he strolled into the room.

"Just because you say that does not give you permission to enter!" Troy barked at his brother-in-law. The man just shrugged back.

"After what I saw ten minutes ago, I really don't care what you do with me. And you should be happy Troy, your house is only two minutes from Rebecca's. That's eight extra minutes I spent trying to burn the images out of my head with alcohol.

Troy let out a very long sigh.

Just a bit later...

Two carriages, both of rather grand sizes, stood in the center of Irenes. Several people gathered around to see the sight, for the small and sleepy town was not used to such things. The minute they saw Rebecca walk out with Karel, however, they quickly went about their business. Anything involving those two was usually over the top in all aspects.

"Why two carriages?" Karel asked quizzically as Troy finished stowing away his luggage.

"Because I refuse to spend weeks along side you, with no possible avenue of escape," Troy said in a very blunt matter. Noel laughed.

"Ha ha! Ours is bigger than yours! Bigger is better!" The young woman yelled as she pointed at the two carriages.

"You're absolutely right Noel!" Rebecca chimed as she strolled over, wearing a v-neck shirt cut just low enough. She bent over slightly, leaning against Karel as she did so. Her voluptuous chest exposed just enough, the woman grinned. "Bigger is better, isn't it Noel?"

"TROY!" Noel shrieked, tears began to brim at the corners of her eyes. "Rebecca's being mean!"

"TROY!" Rebecca shrieked back. "Noel started it!"

"I don't need this," Troy muttered to himself as he shoved the back of his carriage shut. He turned to find Vladimir gently petting a horse.

"You seriously do not intend to ride all the way to Benzer on horse back, do you?" Troy asked as he leaned up against his carriage. He deserved a break, everyone else was too busy bickering to help him with the luggage.

"Do you want to spend weeks in a carriage with Karel?" Vladimir asked.

"No."

"Then, can I ride in your carriage?"

"Not a chance," Troy answered as he held open the carriage's door for Noel, who gingerly stepped inside, kissing him on the cheek as she passed by. He gave Vladimir a respectful nod.

"Happy riding."

[KOA]

One would come to think given the stories they heard about the Last Knight of Apocalypse and the Saint of Swords that wherever the two would tread, something invariably had to happen. This something, no matter the outcome, had to explode as well in a manner that would categorize it as epic. No, getting lost happened to normal people, so naturally getting lost and attacked by bandits would be the next logical jump up. But to make it epic, these bandits had to be riding bears shooting fire out their eyes and screaming in demonic languages as they opened a portal to Hadia so the demon’s could pop out for a party in the real world.

That would be epic.

But no, the trip was to say the very least, boring. Vladimir had ridden in the saddle of his horse for two weeks as the carriages trundled along the beaten path that was, to nobodies great surprise, guarded by patrols of country military personnel. There were no bandits, simply because there was no opportunity. Not to mention that though ostentatious the carriages were, they just didn’t look like they carried leagues of gold in their trunks. Which was another matter all together. Save for Vladimir, the two families didn’t bother to bring their extensive collection of money. Why would they? They were going to one of the wealthiest families in a city of merchants. Money, simply put, was just extra baggage.

So they arrived in Benzer with no fuss. Troy, always the one who would show the merest bit of hospitality, would ask Vladimir if he needed something once everyday at noon when the carriages broke for food. Of course, before Vladimir had a chance to answer Noel would grab her husband and whisper what Vladimir could only assume was some voodoo in his direction as she lifted a dead chicken in her hand and shook it violently at the knight.

The city of Benzer was a sight that took Vladimir’s breath away. He had witnessed many ports, many towns, visited cities that had sky scrapers, but something about Benzer was just different. The hustle and bustle of the common folks, the many chattering chimes of business getting a customer, the ringing of bells for attendants to gather belongings and aid customers was a blast of energy that was almost army like in its nature. The artistry of the buildings was of a professional level, and he could tell from his experiences that several times the buildings were stripped and rebuilt to either herald the new occupant, or simply keep with the times. The paved cobblestone roads was another addition that Vladimir hadn’t seen in many civilized towns. They elevated a specific walkway for pedestrians, and had guardsmen direct the flow of traffic to keep the place moving in orderly fashions.

Everything about the way people moved, to the way people talked screamed of professionalism. Each conversation felt like someone was trying to sell, buy, or trade something. Vladimir gulped to himself despite his urgings not to as he concluded something.

“Karel and I are dead,” Vladimir thought dismally. Despite even his noble training in the Knights of Apocalypse, Vladimir felt this was a league far beyond his own. This was like the place the professionals came to become legends of their craft. The carriages arrived behind the knight and Vladimir restrained his horse as he pulled next to Troy’s carriage rapping his knuckles upon the windowed door three times. With a bit of a wait Troy opened the window and looked out to the world with a bit of warmth to his features, though as always the man was dour in face. Still, Vladimir could tell the man was excited to be home.

“Yes, Vladimir?” The knight lifted his satchel up and pulled out a piece of parchment and an ink pot.

“Could you maybe write the name of a well established clothing district? And the address of your parents estate. I feel that I may be under prepared for meeting your parents.” Troy lifted one hand out the window grabbing the materials as he began to write quickly.

“I do not think you have anything to worry about, but far be it from me to tell the last Knight of Apocalypse what to think.” Vladimir gave him a sideways glance as he looked to everything once more and feeling the lump in his throat as he gulped. Troy observed this and for the first time in Vladimir’s life he heard the smallest sign of mirth from his brother in law.

“The mighty Vladimir Sigma is intimidated?” Troy nearly did something that would have caused the world to freeze over in eternal hell frost, he almost smiled. Vladimir shook his head.

“I’m just overwhelmed. There is so much going on here that it’s impossible for me to keep track of it all. The energy is pulsing and infectious. I feel…uneasy.” Vladimir admitted. Troy looked to the knight before he narrowed his eyes.

“OH!” Noel chirped loudly as she pushed Troy’s face away from the window and looked out to Vladimir. “Is the big bad knight got social anxiety because he’s spent all his time alone and now the thought of being in public without your torment and dragons and swords you can’t survive?”

Vladimir looked to Noel with confusion before he shrugged and held his horse back a bit so Noel could see the entirety of his point. Her little emerald eyes widened into two large disks, her mouth gaping open as her tiny frame began to shake. The knight strode forwards again as his horse angrily whinnied to be pushed to move and stop so suddenly, but the knight patted it on the side as he looked back to Noel.

“Okay, I get it…” Noel whispered. Vladimir chuckled as he watched Troy come back, lowering the note.

“Now that you are done, here you go. Three blocks forwards, turn right and you’ll find the place. If you go ahead of us you should be done by the time we’re at my parents. It’s just following the hill up to the fourth estate. No problems I assume?” Vladimir shook his head. He began to trot off before Troy called to him.

“Vlad!” Troy gave him a serious look, but again he could see the warmth in his eyes as it slowly began to melt the years of frigid frost away. “I’m putting an obscene amount of trust in you not to burn my home to the ground. I expect not a single person to be frightened by you, nor to be intimidated by you. No death threats, no warnings!” Vladimir nodded before he grinned, his usual trademark grin that was vile in nature, but held a slight joy in it as well.

“And why put this trust on me?”

“Because it will infuriate Karel to no end…” Troy replied as he shut his window.

[Disillusioned]

“It infuriates me that he just lets Vladimir walk around like that! Doesn’t he know what Vladimir is capable of?” Karel whispered to his wife.

“This is a good thing Karel,” Rebecca soothed. “It means he’s trusting you two to be good!”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Troy muttered as he walked over to the couple. “I simply enjoy watching Karel’s face turn red, though his whining does tend to grate the nervous.”

“Where’s Noel?” Rebecca asked as Karel rolled his eyes, and walked a few feet away. Troy motioned towards his carriage.

"Tsk. Falling out of the carriage because a servant opened the door. That'll cost you a few points," Rebecca chimed rather pleasantly as she and Troy talked with one another in at the entrance to the Priam estate. Noel had not expected a servant to open her carriage door when the group had arrived, had made to open the door, and fell onto the front lawn (which spanned at least a mile). Her clothes covered with grass stains, she quickly ran dashed back inside her carriage to change, even though Troy told her his parent's wouldn't care. The poor girl was quite nervous about meeting her husband's family, despite the fact that she had met them at both her own wedding, and Rebecca's. Still, Noel was almost always nervous, and adding Vladimir into the picture didn't help.

"Utter nonsense. At least the servants aren't cowering in fear of her, terrified of taking her luggage in. How many points will that cost you?" Troy responded coolly as he pointed to a group of servants, huddled together.

"You're the new guy! You have to take his luggage in!"

"Screw that! I'm not going near that guy! Besides, I'm new. A more experienced servant should handle the Saint of Swords luggage!"

"Not a chance. Besides, Jeff should be the one to do it. He broke that vase last week, after all."

"Piss off Steve! That was you, and you know it!"

It was always the same, everywhere they went. People looked at Karel and decided he was either one of two things. He was either the Saint of Swords, a blessed and kind hero (he didn't have to pay for a single thing when he was on vacation in Akashima), or a murder who equated to little more than a monster, or at the very least a sign of very bad things to come; the servants obviously considered him the later. As such things always made Rebecca unhappy, for they served a constant reminder of the quality of spouse she had chosen, she did the same thing she often did.

“Troy!” She pouted as she made a sulky face towards her brother. He then did the same thing he always did, which was sigh heavily, and head off to fix the problem.

“What was that all about?” Karel asked as he walked over, he had been tending to one of the carriages horses in an effort to be useful.

“Oh, nothing,” Rebecca chimed, “just a bit of business with the servants. Troy will take care of it.”

“Not that,” Karel gripped, “I was talking about the thing with the points. Are you two keeping score or something?”

“Actually, we are. It’s a game we’ve played since we were teenagers. We always got a kick out of seeing who’s date would impress mom and dad more.” Rebecca finished her sentence with a soft giggle; Karel shook his head at her. She frowned at him. “I’m sure you did something similar. All brothers and sisters do.”

“No. Actually my sister and I never had to compete for our parents’ affection. They simply loved us, no matter what,” Karel said disdainfully. He then, in testament to his superior fighting skills, spun around and barely managed to catch the piece of luggage Troy had flung at him.

“Blast it. I mean, good catch Karel,” Troy muttered as he leapt off of the carriage; he had decided to deal with Karel’s luggage personally. “I did shout a warning, though I suppose you may not have heard it, as your were busy saying something about the way you deal with people’s parents. Anyone seen Vladimir, by chance?”

“He’s running late,” Karel answered as he turned away, silently thanking whatever God watched over him that Vladimir wasn’t around to hear his last comment.

“Well, he went shopping, so he’s most likely still there. It’s pretty hard to get away from a Benzer merchant,” Rebecca mused as she gently tapped her chin. Everyone let out a slight chuckle at the image of Vladimir trying to (politely) get away from a salesman. Seeing as the city was not on fire, Troy could only assume that Vladimir was keeping his promise.

“Imagining the last Knight of the Apocalypse shoe-shopping is a rather funny sight. Tell me Karel, does he do all the shopping for you as well when you two are out slaying gods?” Troy asked as he yanked the luggage away from Karel, and handed it to a servant along with his thanks. The servants treated everyone with respect, but Karel noticed that they all had a bit of a friendly batter with Troy, as if him returning home was something they all enjoyed. That, and as Rebecca was a spoiled brat, Troy was probably the more well-liked of the two siblings.

“What I miss? More God talk? Can’t we talk about something else for once?” Noel asked as she emerged from her carriage in a new dress, this time she was very careful with her footing. She walked over towards Troy and wrapped her arm around his, while he complimented her on her dress (a soft shade of blue that was very pleasing to the eyes).

“An excellent idea! Troy could learn a thing or two from you Noel!” Karel said happily as Troy made to retort. However, the Saint of Swords simply continued to talk on, ignoring whatever his brother-in-law would have said (Noel quickly begged forgiveness for making her husband look bad). “Your parents have a beautiful house Rebecca.”

Before them stood a rather nice, two story building of fairly luxurious accommodation, if not a tad smaller than Karel was expecting. With all the money that was flowing about in Benzer, he had assumed that the Priams would have a bigger house. They were, according to Rebecca, one of the wealthiest families in Benzer. He decided not to say anything about that idea, which was a good thing, for he would have been putting a foot in his mouth had he done so.

“Indeed it is Karel. I shall tell the servants what you think of their quarters. They will be very happy,” Troy shot as he pointed across the grass. “Our parents’ house is over there.”

Looming across all of the area was a huge mansion, four stories tall, and wider than a solid chunk of Irenes. The house was built of a white material, possibly limestone or something of the sort, and it gave the mansion an almost luminescent glow. Spanning several square miles, Karel gulped as Noel tightened her grip around her husband.

“That’s ah...how many buildings do your parent’s own?” Karel ventured.

“You mean around the mansion? Several,” Rebecca began to count off. “Let’s see. There’s the servant’s quarters, you saw that. The mansion, the stables, Troy will show you around there later, if you like. He always spends a good deal of time there.”

She continued on, completely ignoring her brother’s protests.

“Several gardens, a couple of smaller houses for guests...”

“Is that where we’re going to stay? In one of the guests houses?” Noel asked timidly.

“No, we’ll stay in the mansion. Those houses are for guests. We’re family,” Troy answered. The tone he said it in dictated that the mansion was far better than any of the surrounding houses because it was for family, if for no other reason at all.

“It’s ah...a big place, for sure,” Karel gulped again. Troy gave him a somewhat ill look.

“You have a problem with that?” He asked, a bit more menacingly than he should have. Still, since Karel was talking about their parents, Rebecca joined in on the glare.

“Of course he doesn’t,” She shot at her husband. “Right Karel?”

“No, no, no! Of course not!” The man muttered nervously. “It’s just that, you know, I’m a bit more used to smaller things.”

Perhaps it was the thrill of returning to his hometown, or perhaps it was the soothing comfort that could only be attached to visiting the place one grew up. Or maybe Troy just really didn’t like Karel. Regardless of the reason, Troy let his usual decorum slip (well, the decorum he had when Karel wasn‘t around), and gently shoved Noel towards Karel.

“Oh really? In that case, would you rather have Noel than Rebecca? Shall we make a trade, so the Saint of Swords doesn‘t fell inadequate?” Immediately Noel began to cry and scream.

“WHAT? YOU TOO TROY? JUST BECAUSE EVERYONE MAKES FUN OF MY BREASTS DOESN”T...DOESN’T...WAHHH!”

“Your height! Your height! I was talking about your height!” Troy shouted as everyone covered their ears; Noel’s whining was probably the most ear-splitting thing in the world.

“Oh...oh. Sorry! But, you shouldn’t say things like that about your wife!” Noel pouted, while Rebecca grinned. “I mean, what if I took that seriously, and took you up on that offer? What would you do then Troy? Huh? Huh?”

Before the tiny girl could even go on to talk about her revenge, Rebecca swooped in.

“I think it would go something like this. See ya!” Rebecca gleamed as she wrapped her arm through Troy’s, who favored his sister with one of his rare smiles. Noel quickly began to stutter.

“Bu-bu-bu...” Noel stammered. Troy shrugged.

“Sorry Noel. But hey, at least you will have Karel to take care of you.” Noel instantly stepped away from said man.

“Stop looking so sulky Karel. This was inevitable,” Rebecca said sadly. “Be sure to write though. I’ll miss you.”

“What the hell is this?” Vladimir asked as he walked up to what was a very awkward scene. Well, at least for everyone but Rebecca and Troy. To them it seemed quiet natural.

“We’re just playing at Karel and Noel’s expense,” Rebecca answered.

“Who’s playing?” Vladimir asked. “I see Karel sulking, Noel kind of going along with it, Troy enjoying himself, and you acting out another sick, incest fantasy. Honestly, what is it with people having crushes on their siblings? Did I just not get the memo that this sort of thing was cool now?”

“No, there wasn’t a memo,” Noel offered. “But, you know Vladimir, it’s not like anyone is taking it seriously.”

“Oh really?” Vladimir jerked his thumb towards Rebecca, who was literally skipping up the steps with Troy (he was not skipping, but rather accompanying her with a sort of quiet grace that told of a unsurpassed happiness). Noel’s face turned very red as Troy left her; not a huge surprise as how everyone knew how he doted on his sister.

“It’s just a joke! It’s just a joke! It’s just a joke!” Noel repeated to herself over and over again.

“Yeah. Keep telling yourself that,” Vladimir spat as he adjusted his new clothes.

“Oh, what do you know anyway?” Noel spat back at Vladimir. “You’ve probably just had some sort of traumatizing experience involving a brother and sister, and now you’re all bitter.”

“Ha! I’m afraid n-”

He glanced at Karel.

“Yeah. You’re probably right.”

A few minutes later...

“My boy! How you’ve grown!” A man with dark brown hair beamed as he embraced Troy. For his age, Sarpedon Priam looked amazing. Though he was in his late fifties, people often thought he was in his early forties. This was exactly what he wanted, and why he took such good care of himself, as to a merchant first impressions were everything.

“A strong and handsome young man,” A slender woman sang as she hugged her son, who was nowhere near a young man anymore (Troy had just hit thirty).

The woman was dressed in a fine black evening dress, a stark contrast to the white of her husband’s coat. Helen Priam, she herself in her late forties, was a gorgeous woman. Sarpedon was considered by many to be a handsome man, but Helen was downright stunning. She had a sort of beauty and grace about her that silenced people without her even having to so much as glare at them. She had dark blue eyes that matched the rest of the family’s (minus Troy’s, his was a lighter shade of blue), but her hair was far from brown. This month it was purple, last month it had been a dark green.

Sarpedon and Helen were many things. Wealthy, to be sure. Kind-hearted and generous, especially as far as nobles went. All of their servants were hand picked, and every single one of them had nothing but good things to say about their employers. Both looked amazing, despite their years, and both had retained their wonderful youthful exuberance throughout their lives. And, more important than any of that, they truly loved each other. For all their quirks and oddities, Helen and Sarpedon were very much in love. Political and finical reasons aside, Troy knew for a fact that his parents would have been happy together regardless if they were as rich as kings or as poor as beggars.

Sarpedon’s booming merchant business and Helen’s position within the Benzer Merchant Guild (which oversaw all trade) didn’t hurt though.

“How’s Irenes? Still as wonderful as ever?” Helen asked as she finished hugging her son.

“A picture perfect place. I’d not change it for the world,” Troy answered, his tone respectful yet at the same time, very loving.

“And how’s my little girl?” Sarpedon asked as he hugged as ever.

“As happy as ever Daddy!” Rebecca chimed, reverting to a tone that reminded Troy of Nami, Sheex’s little girl. It was odd how people grew up, and yet never did.

“Where’s the rest? Your letter mention Noel,” Sarpedon said as he motioned for his children to follow him.

“And Karel,” Helen threw in so that Rebecca would not feel neglected. Still, it was a bit hard to enjoy seeing the man who had killed their beloved son. Then again, Troy was alive now, so it made the whole matter rather confusing.

“Oh, they should be in any moment. Ummm,” Contrary to her usual confident nature, Rebecca hesitated. She wasn’t sure how this would play out.

“We brought Vladimir too,” Troy swooped in, ever her knight in shining armor. He even made it a point to say “we” instead of “she.”

“Isn’t that the man who burned Black Isle?” Asked Sarpedon.

“Er, yes,” Managed Troy.

“And is the sworn enemy of the Saint of Swords?” Questioned Helen.

“Well, yes and no. They don’t fight anymore!” Rebecca threw out.

“So they get along?” Sarpedon wondered.

The siblings exchanged glances.

“No,” Troy flatly stated.

“Not at all,” Rebecca finished.

The family did nothing but stare at each other for several more moments as it sank in on just who would be walking through their halls within the next few minutes.

“Well...well it could be worse!” Troy exclaimed, a shot of nervousness colored his usual cool demeanor. “Imagine if Ajax was still alive!”

“Just what is that suppose to mean?” Helen snapped at her son.

Among the family’s quirks, Helen’s particular fetish involved the strange and exotic. That was part of the reason she changed her hair color so often; it was simply different. As normal people kept a cat or dog (birds were the popular choice in Benzer), Helen simply had to be different. She had a pet bat.

Though, the term “pet” might be an over exaggeration. The vicious thing simply attacked whatever it saw, servants and guests alike. The only people exempted from this rule was the Priam family themselves, and the only people who Ajax actually obeyed happened to be Troy and Helen. The sadistic creature didn’t listen to the servant in charge of it either, preferring to maul the man rather than listen to his demands. Sarpedon doubled the wages of whoever took care of Ajax, but the turnover rate was still very high for that particular job.

“Come off it Mom,” Rebecca leaped to her brother’s defense. “That thing was evil incarnate! How many dates of mine did it scare off?”

“You know, I love that bat,” Sarpedon said to himself, as any father would have. “He’s not dead though.”

“But surely his life expectancy...” Troy began. Helen just shrugged.

“We bought him a few potions to extend his life,” She said simply, as if the enormous sum of such potions meant nothing at all to her.

“But...you can’t seriously mean...” Troy and Rebecca looked to one another, and then back down the hall.

A very loud and girlish scream echoed from there. Who’s it was anyone’s guess.

[Zantetsuken]

Karel had fought demons, he had fought dragons, he had fought spirits of deceased warriors, golems, the Demon of Swords, Troy Priam, Vladimir Sigma, and on one occasion even the deadly, legendary Seth Dahlios. So when Karel said he had seen all the world had to offer and fought it, he meant it. Being the Saint of Swords, as well as just being himself had seen him through ordeals that would break lesser men in the first two steps.

Ajax the bat had terrified him.

“Holy Thayne’s!” Karel dove under a table as the bat flew right at him, blood dripped claws from the three scratches it managed to get on his neck attempted to grab at him as it assaulted the sword saint. Noel screamed as well, covering her face and turning to run only to be pressed up against Vladimir who simply didn’t bother to care.

“Really,” Vladimir admonished Karel. “I expect this behavior from Noel, but not you, Karel.” Ajax squealed as it turned to flap in front of the Last Knight of Apocalypse, eyeing him down gem like eyes as he looked to the creature with little detachment. “Go for his right side. He doesn’t defend it very well…” Vladimir muttered. Ajax turned back to Karel with the new attack angle.

“Get Noel out of here! Quick!” Karel managed to roll out of the table, but as soon as he mentioned the girl’s name the bat turned and screeched flying right at her.

“EEEK!” Noel bellowed louder than even her legendary whining as Vladimir lifted his cloak up and over his shoulder covering the little girl from danger as he swatted at the beast to shoo it away. Ajax dive bombed and came up under the cloak to get in deep and personal with the woman, and her muffled cries easily pierced the vaulted ceiling echoing down the halls as she began to flail, hitting Vladimir several times in the gut doubling him over as they both collapsed, the bat attacking her.

“What the hell is that demon?” Karel bellowed as he ran to aid his brother and sister in law. When he reached Vladimir the man was in complete agony, as now that they fell Noel’s entire body began to squirm, and several times the man was hit below the belt to the point he was barely functioning. Had Karel not been so worked up he probably would have laughed.

“Get it off of me!” Noel screeched loudly, the bat actually wincing as it came out from under the cloak to escape her deafening squeals. Vladimir was still thrashing about to get up, causing Noel to fight with him as she beat him repeatedly with her tiny fists. Karel looked to the situation with a studious eye before he got an idea.

“Noel, you have to trust me!”

“I’m dead! I’m going to die!”

“No you aren’t, not if you trust me!”

“That’s what I mean! Trusting you is going to get me killed!”

“Stop screaming in my god damn ear you banshee!” Vladimir angrily said as he managed to rip the cloak from his shoulders and roll away from Noel. The woman thrashed even more now that Vlad wasn’t with her and she screamed twice as loud than before (quite the feat) as her body twitched like a worm.

“I’m going to distract the bat, Vladimir, get Noel out of here! Go!” Vladimir rolled to his feet, looked to the bat, and saw it eyeing in Karel’s direction.

“By the Horsemen’s sword, Karel, it’s just a bat! There is nothing epic about this Thayne’s thrice damned bat! Okay?”

Soon the bat screeched as its wings fluttered to Vladimir, squealing and clawing at him as it bit his eyebrow. Ajax tore into the Last Knight of Apocalypse as blood began to drip in tiny circles around the knight, Vladimir thrashing about as he went to battle, tripping over Noel who had still yet to learn the bat wasn’t even near her. When he crashed the bat flew up, just as Noel threw the cloak off her face, and ran right into her hair undoing all her knots as it bit at her skull.

Karel looked around for something he could use as a weapon, but everything looked so damn expensive he was afraid to touch it. At last he bit his lower lip and just went after it, using his fists to try and shoo it away. When Noel looked to see Karel coming at her with fists tight she screeched and lifted one foot up in defense. Completely forgetting that she had tripped Vladimir, it was mouth that was kicked in as he grunted in exhaustion and pain, one hand clamping his bleeding lips as Noel knelt down to apologize. Of course she then realized that dress she was wearing was fanning out, and Vladimir could get a glimpse of her under garments. That elicited yet another screech from her as she shouted pervert, kicking Vladimir over and over again in the face.

It should be noted, Vladimir was too busy being in pain to even care about such things.

Her scream however managed to let Ajax flutter away, and Karel used all his skill in battle to rope up Vladimir’s cloak, swing it at the bat to keep it away, and then grab Noel’s arm as he escorted her out using the cloak like a whip whenever Ajax drew near.

“Come on, I got your back, just go Noel!”

“You really are saving me!” Noel muttered. “Without killing anyone! I’m impressed!” Karel rolled his eyes as he covered Noel, and then with all his energy he tossed the cloak at the creature to keep it away. Ajax easily dived over the cloak and ran right at Noel’s back. She prepped her lungs yet again, but for Karel’s sake he jumped before her, arms held out to either side as Ajax hit him square in the face and began attacking.

“Get Troy!” Was Karel’s final words as he fought with Ajax.

“Oh, good call! He’d want to see this!” Noel chirped rushing down the hall screaming the name of her love.

[Disillusioned]

"Troy! Troy! Call that thing off!" Rebecca demanded of her brother. The man just frowned, and tapped his chin in thought.

"It has been so long since I have had to call Ajax. How did that whistle go again?' Troy asked himself as he tried out a low-pitched whistle. The bat seemed to intensify its attack on Karel, who at this point was curdled into a ball (he had given up the fight, and now only looked to shield his vital areas).

"Troy!" Rebecca screamed in her usual manner, "I demand you call that thing off of my husband right this instant!"

"The man did kill me," Troy offered under his breath. His sister froze in thought, clucked her tongue, but was forced to nod in agreement.

"Five more minutes," she muttered softly, "then you have to call Ajax off."

"Very well. Vladimir, you look unwell. Are you quite all right?" Troy asked as he gently ran a hand through his own hair. His brother-in-law gave him a glare, straightened his now ruined new clothes, and wiped a bit of blood from his lip.

"I'm fine," Vladimir spat.

"Then why is your voice so high-pitched?" Troy chided.

"Oh! That's my fault!" Noel squeaked as she hid herself behind her husband, just in case. "I accidentally...ah...kicked him...down there..."

"Oh really?" Troy asked with raised eyebrows. Noel nodded; her husband let out a chuckle. "I suppose that makes you the woman who vanquished the mighty last Knight of the Apocalypse."

"Hey! You're right Troy!" Noel chirped. "But, you know, I really don't want his title or anything. Those fancy titles really seem to be more trouble than they're worth; can I just stay as I am now?"

"I would not have it any other way," Troy whispered as he gently caressed her cheek (Noel purred in response, literally). "Such a smart woman."

"And gracious," Vladimir offered as he picked himself off the ground, "even in victory."

"BY THE GODS WHY HAVEN'T YOU HELPED ME?" Shrieked Karel as Ajax continued to rearrange vital parts of his body.

"Ah, yes. I suppose five minutes have passed," Troy let out a shrill whistle and held out his left arm. Ajax immediately ceased his attack, flew to Troy, and peacefully landed on the offered perch. Troy let out a laugh as he gently scratched the bat's head.

"Someone's happy to be home," Rebecca muttered as she rolled her eyes while strangely smiling at the same time. It made for an odd, but still quite happy, face.

"Help...me..." Karel begged as he crawled to where the rest of his family talked. He reached out a hand and tugged at the closest person, who unfortunately was Vladimir (not that Troy would have been much better).

"Psh, pansy. And for God's sake man, clean yourself up! You're going to embarrass me!" Vladimir (who's voice had finally returned to mostly normal)spat as Helen and Sarpedon finally caught up with their children.

“I’m so sorry!” Helen offered as she made to help Karel to his feet. “That bat, you see, is an old family pet and-”

“Oh, you shouldn’t worry about him ma’am,” Vladimir quickly threw in as he brushed his coat back, effectively hiding Karel from view. “He’s overreacting, you see. Just wants attention, best to ignore him completely.”

“Vlad...I think I’m going to be-”

“Just fine, yes yes. I know,” Vladimir extended his hand to Sarpedon, “it’s an honor to meet you sir.”

“Ah, the very same to you my good man,” Sarpedon returned the handshake in the only manner a male Priam possibly could (with class). “This is my wife, Helen.”

“Really? I could have mistaken her for Rebecca’s sister, she looks so young!” Helen blushed just a tad at Vladimir’s comment; Troy narrowed his eyes.

“Why is it that no matter who I bring over, every single man must flirt with my mother?” Troy softly asked his sister; she shrugged in response.

“It’s the curse of the Priam women I suppose; men just want to flirt with us,” Rebecca threw out. She then glanced to her side, saw Noel, smiled sadistically, and then added, “well, at least the curse of MOST Priam women.”

This was normally the moment where Noel whined to Troy, but she was feeling particularly empowered at the moment, what with her recent victory against the last Knight of the Apocalypse. So instead of crying in her usual manner, Noel Priam summoned up all of her courage, stuck out her (non-existent) chest, and said the first thing she could think of.

“Yeah, and out of all of ‘em you had to pick the one that spoons with other men in Salvar!” Noel shouted as she pointed her finger mockingly (as well as she could hiding behind Troy’s back).

Rebecca’s face grew more pale than the whitest sheet of snow, for what Noel had said was completely true. Karel and Vladimir, in the freezing cold, had decided to hold one another close to share body heat. Of course, in Karel’s idiocy he had later written to Rebecca about how much he missed her, and had threw that little anecdote in as an example. She had immediately shown the letter to Sheex, who now had the letter framed on a shelf on his bar. Struck speechless, Rebecca could do nothing but watch in horror as the scene unfolded.

“Beg pardon?” Sarpedon asked, keeping his calm as best he could.

“It’s nothing sir...” Karel managed as he pulled himself up off the ground. Not wanting to miss this chance, and realizing that making Karel look bad was far more important to Vladimir than his own reputation, the last Knight of Apocalypse made a loud sigh.

“Oh, go on Karel. Keep on hiding behind your veil of security, but I will never forget that wonderful night alone with you. Freezing cold we were, holding each other tight. You, with the frost around your lips, leaning close to me-”

“So!” Rebecca interrupted, “it’s been a really long journey! We should freshen up! Before dinner!”

“Ah yes, dinner,” Vladimir shook his head, “like that dinner we had in Corone, eh Karel? You and me, just a bit of noodles between us. I tell you to eat, you look at me and say, “no Vlad, I could never leave you-”

“I hate you so much Vlad,” Karel whispered as he steadied his shaking body.

“You wound me Karel. Like that time in Akashima-”

“GOD’S NO! NOT THAT VLAD!” Karel screamed.

“I really worry for you sometimes hon,” Helen whispered to her daughter. Rebecca turned red in shame, Troy chuckled and patted his wife’s head, Noel beamed, Sarpedon wished everyone well, and told them dinner would be ready at eight.

[KOA]

Vladimir let himself be led by one of the more senior servants, noticing that he kept a solid four paces between them and a hand upon something inside his robes at all times. This didn’t bother the Last Knight of Apocalypse in the least; on the contrary he felt more respected to be given the ‘cautious’ treatment even in a home as lavish as this.

“You will be staying in master Troy’s guest room,” the servant said in a dignified manner, turning down another hallway onto a plush carpet that ran along a hallway. “There are a total of four rooms, two on each side. Please take any of them that you see adequate to your needs. We will find you for dinner. Until such times the estate is yours to enjoy as you see fit, Master Sigma.”

“Thanks,” Vladimir said lifting his satchel up to his shoulders and letting it lean over his shoulder. He looked to the door on his left, seeing a very childish scrawling of the name Hector upon the door’s frame. Lifting his hand he placed it upon the name, feeling a history of emotions poured into it. He patted the name, concluded not to bother, and moved to the next room and opened the double doors. “Dear god, has anyone in this town heard of modesty?”

Vladimir looked to the four post bed in the center of the room, a walk in closest easily the size of a small shop, and a master bathroom with indoor plumbing and a set of stairs leading into the fine marble tub. On the opposite side of the bed was a six drawer dresser made of the finest Coronian oak, and polished to a sheen that reflected the light of the sun from the back window that was covered by the softest of silks imported no doubt from Fallien. The desk itself was furnished with supplies for business and letter writing. All in all it was a suite that made even the finest hotels seem like cheap inns attached to a bar.

“Modesty is weakness in Benzer,” a very delightful siren like voice sang from behind the dark knight. Vladimir’s heart jumped at her words, but outwardly he made no movements as he chastised himself inwardly about being snuck up on. He turned to look at Helen and Sarpedon standing close. “A person’s status can be determined by their wealth here. But yes, we did go a bit overboard for our children’s friends. Will you be okay with these accommodations? I have a guest room closer to Rebecca’s old room where she is staying with her husband.” She gestured to the other side of the estate, but Vladimir lifted a hand to detain her.

“I have lived with them close enough, the distance will be nice. Thank you for your hospitality, I truly appreciate it.” Vladimir gave them a respectful nod. They smiled and dismissed themselves as they went their way, and Vladimir turned back to his room. He opened his satchel, removed the articles of clothing he would be wearing for dinner, and moved over to the bathroom and turned on the faucet to the bath. It was a little known fact, but if there was one thing in the entire world Vladimir loved, it was a bath. Not a quick one, not a dive in the river to clean off the murky sweat. No, an honest to god, hot, relaxing bath. He noticed a wine glass and a bottle near the tub where most people would put soaps and other lotions.

Without even thinking he stripped, grabbed his favorite book, and dipped in feeling the scalding water burn his flesh in a pleasant way as the aches of riding in a saddle for two weeks began to melt away. He opened the boot to where he was, poured a glass, and began to enjoy himself.

“And if anyone bothers me, I’ll kill them,” Vladimir thought plainly.

“Knock knock!” came the unmistakable voice of Karel. He could tell because it sounded irritating and made him want to stab a knife in his ears.

“Of course you’d tempt me fate. Of course you would. Eat your own words, Vladimir, do it,” he spoke in a mocking manner as he sighed irritably. “What do you want Karel?” he shouted.

“Rebecca wants to talk with you, so hurry up with your bath and meet us in her room. A servant should be able to help you find it,” Karel replied. “Hey Vlad, did you know they have peanuts in a jar next to the bed?”

“Karel, that has to be the stupidest- Wait they have what?” Vladimir sincerely looked to his bed and found a tiny silver jar and tray. “I’ll be damned.”

“Yup, real peanuts, from the islands around here. They are very tasty, perfectly salted.”

“Have you satisfied your quota of small talk for the day, Karel?” Vladimir sassed.

“Yep,” Karel replied quickly. “See you in a bit.”