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Gladitor
01-26-11, 06:53 PM
Full Name: Gladitor Nuil
Race: Half Demon/Half Human
Age: ~29
Gender: Male
Hair Color: Black
Eye Color: Dark Green
Skin color: Ash
Height / Weight: 5'11/180
Occupation: Bounty Hunter
Weapons: yew bow, and 2 daggers
Armor: Dark Green cloak, underlain by steel chainmail

Appearance: Few have seen this man and lived to tell of it but those who have report that he wears a green cloak and woodsman’s pants with eyes almost as piercing as his lethal arrows.

SKILLS:
Marksman: long years of target practice and life experience have taught Gladitor through trial and error to become excellent at the art of marksmanship.

Knie fighting/Throwing: finding no need for a sword, he carries his two hunting daggers for rare close range scenarios and as useful tools.

Stealth: Forced to hunt to survive his entire life Gladitor has learned to blend in with almost any terrain making him difficult to see during the day and nearly impossible at night.

ABILITIES:
Minor fire control: Due to his nature as a half demon he has the ability to control a small amount of fire to be used in various ways such as creating a flaming arrow or creating sparks to temporarily blind his enemy. The drawback of this though is he must be either near an already existent fire or a strong heat source.

Skill attribute sacale rated by the number of times he is better or worse than a normal human.

Strength: 1.5
Agility: 1.5
Speed: 1
Endurance:1

HISTORY:
It is unknown why this half demon walks the earth but at the age of 13 he awoke lying in a small wooden cabin in the forest. Thrust into this unfamiliar world he was forced to learn how to survive soon becoming a well known archer and hunter. By the age of 16 he already had the hardened heart of a warrior and the cold analyzing look of a killer.His adventures truly began as he was on his daily hunt. A man appeared to him walking from the shadows of a nearby grove of trees only a few yards away and offered gladitor a proposition that was destined to change his life. He decided to join this mysterious man in his travels vowing to learn this mans skill in stealth. The pair of them traveled across althanas quickly picking up the trail of a wanted man. For two years they followed his trail on what seemed to be an eternal hunt. Finally when they caught their prey Gladitor found that he took pleasure in the thrill of the hunt and the art of the kill eventually finding himself in the roll of a bounty hunter striking fear in all those he was sent to kill and revered and feaed by those he was not.

Equipment: a bag of holding.

Breaker
01-28-11, 10:25 AM
Welcome to Althanas! I will be assisting you with modifying your profile so that it seeks our unique play-by-post forums.

Right now your character is too powerful as a level 0. In order that I can help you find ways to diminish his power slightly, please do the following. Organize your abilities and skills under separate headings. "Abilities" include piercing shot, minor fire control, death arrow, and your modified stats. I'd also appreciate it if you present your character's stat's as being compared to the normal human (so rather than say he is 6.5 strong on a scale of 1-10, say he is 1.5 times stronger than a human).

The rest of your skills can go under skills. Other than that, a few things need clarifying. What exactly can he do with fire? And just how deadly is that enchanted arrow? Please keep in mind that level 0 characters generally aren't allowed abilities or items which grant 1 hit kills.

Please don't feel discouraged, and post here letting me know when you've made the edits/if you need any help.

Gladitor
01-28-11, 03:47 PM
I made a few changes to my profile including organizing all of my stats that were recomended and changing my skill rating system including loweing my speed to one and my agility to one point five also i put an explanation on what my minor fire controll can do at this level and what the affects of my deadly arrow are.

Breaker
01-28-11, 04:53 PM
Thanks for your co-operation! Your profile is now much easier to understand. Unfortunately your character is still fairly overpowered for a level 0. I'll ask that you remove piercing shot and deadly arrow for now. These abilities are generally too powerful for level 0, and exceed the three ability maximum. If you remove those, your profile will be approved. But don't forget about them- you will most likely be able to add one or both when you make it to level 1!

Also, be careful how you portray your "stealth" skill. It is reasonable to assume that Gladitor can hide fairly well from people with ordinary human perception, but characters with increased perception may be able to detect him.

Gladitor
01-28-11, 08:49 PM
Abilities Removed

Deadly Arrow
Peircing shot

Breaker
01-29-11, 12:41 AM
Thank you very much, and welcome to the approved club. Go write some epic adventures.