Falcon Darkflight
08-10-06, 07:08 AM
((Closed))
"Canen..?"
The voice of Buren August slipped over the small wooden table, barely audible over the sound of clattering cutlery and background chatter.
"Yeah?"
"This ain't good..."
Canen raised his eyes from his plate, forking a mass of pale pasta strands into his mouth slowly.
"What, the spaghetti?"
August was caught off guard, and broke into a grin at what he recognised as a fragment of humour from the usually brooding Khaian sat opposite him. "First attempt at a joke you've made since...well...when? Three, four years ago?"
"Something like that..." Canen replied very sullenly. His eyes did not budge from the china dish containing his long sought for food, and as he brushed away the long black strands of hair from his face the expression of sadness was apparant. He idly took a swig from a tankard of ale, and stared down into the silvery bottom. "Not been a lot to laugh about since then, given our recent day to day situations."
August, running a hand through his threaded blonde hair, responded instantly. "There's been plenty to laugh about."
"Like what?"
"Well..." August paused for a moment, chewing a mouthful of fine, tender steak with the ferociousness only he was capable of. "You have friends. Many more than when you first arrived to Corone. Kaiser came back, Rayne Lunitari knocks about from time to time. What's more, you have a few nice ladies on your tail after your public appearances...all in all, life can't be too bad?"
Canen placed the tankard on the table and shifted his body sidewards. He could feel the rough texture of his wounds from The Cell grind against the seat of the chair, burning as if they had been branded onto his skin with a hot iron poker. They were a long way from healing properly but the emotional wounds were worse. Recently, his confidence in himself and his ability to fight had taken a tough hit. His only console was August, who he had met during his first trials with Step. A good man who had done a tour of duty with the Coronian Army in recent times, serving to protect inland interests, August had gone on to become a vital member of the secret organisation. Of course, he wasn't supposed to know this, but in doing so Canen had found a good friend and a close ally.
"Those things, those public battles...they are all diversions, Buren." Canen retorted, shovelling the last of his pasta into his mouth. "...recreation, as such. You know what i've spent my life doing?"
Buren shook his head.
"My life has been spent running away, wishing for everything I never had. You know the story. Nocturnis is gone, Khaia is wasteland. I use these small things to vent, to take my mind off the one thing that threatens to destroy it every single day. It feels like i'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up from..."
Buren's eyes locked onto Canen's.
"...since when was recreation a bad thing my friend?"
Canen looked back towards his empty bowl, and placed his hands firmly on the table.
"...since it became the only way I can live my life with a small measure of peace, Buren."
August knew he had touched the sore tooth of conversation. He knew about Canen's past, how the Haicheyanne had brutally murdered every occupant of his homeland under the command of the demonic Icarus Pentagathon. The Nocturn had obviously decided to let some of that raw sewage out into the open.
"I can't relax. We are living in a world that has run away from responsibility. I feel I have done the same. Even if I had become a martyr, would it not have been right for me to die fighting? Would it not have been honourable to do that? Maybe i'm getting tired of living with the fact there is a constant burden hanging over me instead of getting up and doing something about it."
"Yeah, but you have always fought for what you believed in..." August replied, finishing off his steak. "...there's still time in your life to go and correct those mistakes, if that's how you feel?"
"I guess I didn't realize what a mess my life is." Canen said. "You face an enemy like the Haicheyanne, or the Castigars. You put everything you have and everything you are into that fight. Then, all of a sudden, you don't have them anymore and you take a good look around. You see that everything else has gone to shit while you fought your battles. Values, initiative, compassion. Everything. Now I just want to take the fight back to them, the Haicheyanne. They know where I am...it won't be long before they make an appearance."
"All very heartfelt, but also beside the point. We ain't doing too bad as a nation...and you as a person" August argued, trying to pull the conversation back. "You have to lift yourself out of the muck."
"That's you. I get angry, bitter. It's how I work, it's what helps me fuel myself to fix the links that are broken and get rid of the people who are trying to spoil it for the rest of us."
"And what happens when you can't get back at the bad guys?"
Canen remained silent, and finished the remainder of his beer. August slipped back into a preoccupied stillness.
"Canen..?"
The voice of Buren August slipped over the small wooden table, barely audible over the sound of clattering cutlery and background chatter.
"Yeah?"
"This ain't good..."
Canen raised his eyes from his plate, forking a mass of pale pasta strands into his mouth slowly.
"What, the spaghetti?"
August was caught off guard, and broke into a grin at what he recognised as a fragment of humour from the usually brooding Khaian sat opposite him. "First attempt at a joke you've made since...well...when? Three, four years ago?"
"Something like that..." Canen replied very sullenly. His eyes did not budge from the china dish containing his long sought for food, and as he brushed away the long black strands of hair from his face the expression of sadness was apparant. He idly took a swig from a tankard of ale, and stared down into the silvery bottom. "Not been a lot to laugh about since then, given our recent day to day situations."
August, running a hand through his threaded blonde hair, responded instantly. "There's been plenty to laugh about."
"Like what?"
"Well..." August paused for a moment, chewing a mouthful of fine, tender steak with the ferociousness only he was capable of. "You have friends. Many more than when you first arrived to Corone. Kaiser came back, Rayne Lunitari knocks about from time to time. What's more, you have a few nice ladies on your tail after your public appearances...all in all, life can't be too bad?"
Canen placed the tankard on the table and shifted his body sidewards. He could feel the rough texture of his wounds from The Cell grind against the seat of the chair, burning as if they had been branded onto his skin with a hot iron poker. They were a long way from healing properly but the emotional wounds were worse. Recently, his confidence in himself and his ability to fight had taken a tough hit. His only console was August, who he had met during his first trials with Step. A good man who had done a tour of duty with the Coronian Army in recent times, serving to protect inland interests, August had gone on to become a vital member of the secret organisation. Of course, he wasn't supposed to know this, but in doing so Canen had found a good friend and a close ally.
"Those things, those public battles...they are all diversions, Buren." Canen retorted, shovelling the last of his pasta into his mouth. "...recreation, as such. You know what i've spent my life doing?"
Buren shook his head.
"My life has been spent running away, wishing for everything I never had. You know the story. Nocturnis is gone, Khaia is wasteland. I use these small things to vent, to take my mind off the one thing that threatens to destroy it every single day. It feels like i'm in a nightmare that I can't wake up from..."
Buren's eyes locked onto Canen's.
"...since when was recreation a bad thing my friend?"
Canen looked back towards his empty bowl, and placed his hands firmly on the table.
"...since it became the only way I can live my life with a small measure of peace, Buren."
August knew he had touched the sore tooth of conversation. He knew about Canen's past, how the Haicheyanne had brutally murdered every occupant of his homeland under the command of the demonic Icarus Pentagathon. The Nocturn had obviously decided to let some of that raw sewage out into the open.
"I can't relax. We are living in a world that has run away from responsibility. I feel I have done the same. Even if I had become a martyr, would it not have been right for me to die fighting? Would it not have been honourable to do that? Maybe i'm getting tired of living with the fact there is a constant burden hanging over me instead of getting up and doing something about it."
"Yeah, but you have always fought for what you believed in..." August replied, finishing off his steak. "...there's still time in your life to go and correct those mistakes, if that's how you feel?"
"I guess I didn't realize what a mess my life is." Canen said. "You face an enemy like the Haicheyanne, or the Castigars. You put everything you have and everything you are into that fight. Then, all of a sudden, you don't have them anymore and you take a good look around. You see that everything else has gone to shit while you fought your battles. Values, initiative, compassion. Everything. Now I just want to take the fight back to them, the Haicheyanne. They know where I am...it won't be long before they make an appearance."
"All very heartfelt, but also beside the point. We ain't doing too bad as a nation...and you as a person" August argued, trying to pull the conversation back. "You have to lift yourself out of the muck."
"That's you. I get angry, bitter. It's how I work, it's what helps me fuel myself to fix the links that are broken and get rid of the people who are trying to spoil it for the rest of us."
"And what happens when you can't get back at the bad guys?"
Canen remained silent, and finished the remainder of his beer. August slipped back into a preoccupied stillness.