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cclapatra
03-19-11, 07:37 AM
Name: Dominic Deadwood
Age: 20
Race: Human
Hair Color: Dark Brown
Eye Color: Green
Height: 5'10
Weight: 194 lbs
Occupation: Mercenary/Sword for Hire

Personality:

Dominic is a kind person with a very protective personality. He won't hesitate to put himself in harms way to protect people close to him or even just comrades. Dominic loves battle, not for vengeance or blood lust but simply for the sport of it. A fan of humor he enjoys poking run of other people and if they chose to give him a good ribbing back he more then welcomes it to bond better with people.

Appearance:

If asked to describe himself, Dominic would phrase his body type as "sturdy". He is of average height but he is a rather thick fellow, built for being on the front lines of battle. His hair falls halfway down his neck and is rater shaggy hanging around his rounded face. Dark brown hair makes his green eyes stand out quite vividly which apparently girls admire, however Dominic wouldn't know anything about that. He wears simple string drawn, brown padded trousers made by a craftswoman in his through a mysterious technique she describes as "bark weaving." Rumor has it she weaves fibers from the bark of the strongest oak tree hidden deep in the woods surrounding his home village. This is done to strengthen the cloth to prevent tearing and weathering of everyday work and exercise. Dominic then "blouses" or tucks the trousers into his laced hardened leather boots. Fitted snugly to his chest is a hardened leather hauberk. This particular hauberk was his grandfather's grandfather's chest piece of which he waged war in. His left arm is left bare with the exception of a bracer which he straps his rounded buckler around. The buckler is roughly a foot and a half in diameter and is made of typical steel with his family crest engraved into the face. The shield is sharpened around the edges to be used as a weapon should Dominic ever be disarmed. His right shoulder is covered by a half circular pauldron stamped in the shape of a lions head. Sectioned plates then run down the his arm into a shaped gauntlet covering his forearm.

History:

The village Dominic Deadwood grew up in doesn't exactly have a name, in fact it doesn't even show up on a map. Its residents simply call it home. This particular village was cursed with infertility. Women for a few decades were simply incapable of bearing a child for their husbands until news found its way around the village of Elaine Deadwood. The wife of the village's blacksmith, Frederic, would become a beacon of hope for the future of their home. After a week of celebration drunken prophecies came to lite uttered by the smashed patrons of the pregnancy bash. "He'll be the champion that will lead us to the rest of salvation!" Shouted on, another exclaimed "She'll be a holy shepard to bring us religious atonement."


Fast forward to nine months later and the village sat on the edge of their seats as Elaine went into labor. After many hours of screaming heard from the home, Frederic carried his son out to the eager crowd as they cheered and applauded him, however his face was stricken with grief despite his attempted smile. Elaine had passed giving birth to the handsome boy. Before her final breaths were taken she named her child after his ancestor whom settled the village, Dominic. The villagers had given her the funeral of a hero burned in a ceremonial pyre, the smoke would carry her spirit to the gods.


Dominic grew into a fine young man, but with no other children around he spent most of his days with the townsfolk being taught various things. The myths of the gods they worshiped, how to read, how to right, how to properly address people in the world they would send him out into when the time was right. At the age of ten Frederic would but a bronze short sword in Dominic's hand and begin instructing him in the art of combat. These techniques were passed from son to father should the village ever had to defend itself. When not being put through vigorous training he would help his father around his workshop. Pounding the heated metal Dominic began to grow stronger and larger to resemble his fathers shape. In the weeks leading up to his sixteenth birthday, his coming of age, doming began crafting his very own longsword from scratch. He would then be sent into the wild to hunt a local black bear and defeat it. Dominic returned in the snowy dawn no more worse for wear, now a man.


Three years had passed before his village would be attacked and he would rise to his destiny. No one is sure how the bandits had found the tiny village hidden in the forest or why they were there, but they came twice the size of the militia Frederic could rally. Dominic exited his home still in his night wear to a village bathed in orange from the fires of burning houses. The Militia had drawn a line in the dirt, a line they would not let the brigands pass. Time was lost in the ensuing battle, eclipsed by the heat from the inferno slow to be doused. The smell of hot, fresh blood had kept the warriors in check to the task at hand. The enemy eventually broke ranks and the militia made a sweeping advance to halt their escape. Alas it was a ruse! The bandits turned to fight as their slaughter began. A bear of a man fell onto Dominic's blade and collapsed on top of him, trapping him.


Dominic wasn't sure how long it took him to escape from the man who smelled of goat. He had escaped to a mass of dead bodies. Not far from him he spotted the few survivors: five men standing around a man on his knees. Frederic. Addressing his father was the obvious leader. A shirtless long hair man wielding two curved blades, with extravagant black tattoos covering his chest. The man then quickly brought his blade up through the bottom of Frederic's jaw. Dominic entered a rage, screaming loudly, giving away his position but what did he care? The four henchmen approached at their leader's approval. Charging, Dominic stuck his blade through the first's neck before swinging around his shield into the face of the second, dislocating his jaw. In a quick slash he removed the third's leg at the knee. Dominic stood adamant, shield slamming the fourth in the chest sending him to the ground. His blade found its way into the mans defenseless chest before being twisted and then removed.


The man grinned before disappearing in a blur. Shortly after Dominic felt the curved blade rebound off of the rim of his hardwood shield, a huge chunk being clipped from it. His foe was suddenly behind him with the rustle of the wind, slashing the back of Dominic's thigh sending him to one knee. With another blur the bandit was in front of him again making a scissoring attack with his daggers that had a blue shine to them. Dominic raised his blade to defend but the mystical daggers clipped the metal in half. Falling to his side Dominic caught himself with his right hand. "So feeble" said the man deeply before before throwing his head back into a laugh, his single mistake. Dominic grabbed a hammer not far from his hands resting place swinging it up into the man's genitalia. He the stood quickly before swiftly burying the mace in the murderer's skull.


Drained from battle Dominic fell to his knees in front of his father. Sliding his eyes closed and wiping away the blood with the collar of his shirt. Dominic spied a silver chain with a silver key attached to it. The key was to a chest in his father's room with the name "Dominic" engraved into the wood. Inside the chest was the armor of his own namesake. In the days following the cleanup of the village and the funerals, Dominic stepped out into the light from his home clad in his ancestor's armour (see description) and Frederic's hand-and-a-half sword strapped he set off south into the forest.

Skills:
- Blacksmith: Dominic is a proficient blacksmith having apprenticed under his father whom was a master blacksmith. This enables Dominic to make repairs to his own armour given the appropriate tools and space.
- Weapon Master: Although Dominic does not see himself as a "master" of any sorts he was trained in every manner of weapon melee and ranged. Weaponry includes: longswords, greatswords, maces, mauls, flails, axes, greataxes, pikes, longbows and crossbows. However, he is at his best with a sword.
- Strategist: Upon reading many texts throughout the village of past battles and military leaders Dominic is able to adjust to varying battle situations.
- Misdirection: Dominic is highly skilled at misdirecting people when asked questions or interrogated. He has been known to get people to reveal information while being questioned using his misdirection.

Abilities: None of note.



Equipment:
- Frederic's Hand-And-A-Half Sword: If blacksmithing were an art this would be Frederic's masterpiece. Made from the strongest high carbon steel that could be found, Frederic used water from the purest spring in the forest to cool the heated metal in. When at its perfect sharpness this sword can render all but the strongest of armour. Modify 1.5x SLASHING damage. (This Item cannot be sold.)
- Ancestor's Armour: Dominic wears the armour of his namesake kept in pristine condition by the male line of his family. Altogether the armour is made from an assortment of materials. His right arm guard is all made out of steel including the gauntlet and the buckler. The hauberk, boots and left wrist guard are made out of hardened leather. Lastly the trousers are of an ancient technique called barkweaving which adds 1.5x TEARING resistance. (This item cannot be sold.)

Enigmatic Immortal
03-20-11, 03:01 AM
Hello and welcome to the world of Althanas! Generic greatings aside i look forward to seeing you flesh out this character. BUT! You must first young one do me a few things and then you'll be off doing your ancestors proud.

First thing I'd like you to do, which will help you in your writing, is space out all your paragraphs. It just reads like one chunky column and it's naturally displeasing to the eye. As you're about to write works that others will want to read, that simple fix will make it that much easier for people to get into your writing.

Second thing is actually about your character. I would like you, despite you already claiming that he knows every weapon, list out EXACTLY what weapons he knows. These details will be critical when a judge comes through and looks up what you can and cannot do.

Third on the list is I'd like you to take your sword and place a modifier like 1.5x SLASHING damage to it. I want to see exactly how well crafted and how sharp it is. I also want you to understand that weapons that are sharp will blunt after battle, as well as chip and dent against other sharp surfaces or when scraped against things that have resistance to slashing. (Though with your blacksmithing skills I see you covered that.)

Also, I want you to put the clause that you cannot sell this sword. Same for armor.

Armor, could you do me a favor and under equipment just place what type of material it is. It makes it that much easier for people and judges to see what they are up against as a quick glance.

Do me these changes and we'll see where we are at. :)

cclapatra
03-20-11, 06:24 PM
So I made the minor changes to my character that you were asking for but I'm having trouble with the spacing. When I go into advanced editing I have all my paragraphs indented with a single space between but when I preview it and then post, it just shows up as a block of text. Any tips or suggestions on how I can fix this?

Enigmatic Immortal
03-27-11, 05:40 PM
You may need to double space it out to get it to work. Also I know you can't tab a paragraph over, it just squeezes it back over. I do apologize for the wait, but closing a store does leave me little time. Your patience is appreciated greatly. Any questions you have can always be pm'd to me and those I get to quickly.

Without further adou. You are APPROVED!