Hunting Party

[Hysteria]

Closed.

A response to the Ravenheart Academy (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?22581-Ravenheart-Academy) task Full Stomachs Win Skirmishes
The cold and bitter wind that bit through Talen’s cloak was an omen of bad things to come. The youth felt the chill to his bones and pulled his cloak tighter around himself to little effect. The night time seemed to cause his foot falls on the paved road to echo louder and he wanted nothing but to get to the Inn and bunk down for the night.

The boy spy had just arrived in Underwood to personally gather information for the Ixian Knights. The conflict that had erupted was of a keen interested to the Knights and Talen as the Captain in charge of information was where the buck stopped. The boy knight was a child in a world full of adults and although he carried with him abilities equal or greater than many normal people, in the Knights he a featherweight. He had come to Underwood to show the other Captains that he was doing his part for the Knights, that he was just as important as they were.

Talen’s blue eyes twisted around the black streets of Underwood as he made his way quietly towards an Inn. The youth had traveled from Radsanath using one of his unique abilities to turn his body into shadows and teleported the extreme distance in an instant. However, the youth had forgotten to work out the time difference and ended up in the city in the middle of the night.

“Halt! Who goes there?” The stern voice of a Nightwatchman was unmistakable, tinted as it was with a strong sense of self importance and a few days of disciplined training.

“Just a kid looking for somewhere to rest his head.” Replied Talen as he turned around and met the face of the three men.

“Well you should… hey, you’re that bun kid!” The watchman walked up to Talen was two other men in tow.

“Yeah, that’s me.”

A few weeks earlier Talen had uncovered a thief ring operating in Underwood after being task with uncovering the mysterious disappearance of a bakeries worth of buns. The notoriety of the incident had apparently worked out for the better this time. The whole watch knew of the ‘The Bun Kid’.

“Well you better get a move on, the streets are kept tight with all the stuff going on.”

“Sure thing Sir,” Talen nodded and turned away.

A few minutes, quite a few gold pieces and Talen lay in the overpriced room and tried to fall asleep.

[Hysteria]

The morning came and with it Talen forced himself to rise. The small and dirty room that he had been given was less than he was used to, but far greater than what he had when he was growing up on the streets of Scara Brae. With the cold indigence of someone who had little sleep, Talen pulled on his cloths and headed down stairs.

The streets were brisk as the youth moved with purposefulness towards the Watchhouse. The build had long been the center point for jobs, wanted posters and general calls for action. With the growth in conflict, the Watchhouse's wall had become the hub for all things supporting the city. Today Talen was going to take up the workers hammer, and do his part.

It was far from a sense of duty that drove Talen through the streets. The act of collecting information was subtle, involving more inaction than action. The key for Talen was to integrate himself into something that allowed the information to come to him rather than searching high and low and causing himself to stick out. In signing up for one of these tasks, he would surround himself with the denizens of Underwood and hopefully learn a thing or two.

As Talen reached the Watchhouse he was struck by how much it had changed in the short time. The stone building was surrounded by people, forming into groups and being told to go this way and that. The massive side wall was covered in posters with thick printed text.

“Gardeners Wanted!”, “Posse To Be Created!”, “Call For Hunters And Trackers!” and many more lined the giant wall. Talen looked across the different posters and settled with a smile spreading across his face.

Hunting...

The choice was easy. Talen didn't want to get caught in a fight and gardening was far from his skill set. Hunting offered him a simple solution and right or wrong, Talen's view of a hunter included a lose tongue.

Call For Hunters And Trackers!
Party leaves every morning from the Watchouse.

Talen twisted and looked around the swam of people. Now knowing what he was looking for, Talen could see a group of men and women dressed in leather which indeed looked like hunters. The little warrior weaved his way between the crowd and appeared next to the group of hunters.

“So, we going hunting or what?” Talen's unique charm burst out.

The group of ten turned and looked at the tiny badly dressed boy.

“Little kid not have room in this party. Slow us down.” Said a man who looked like he could hunt bears with his bare hands.

“Oh and you're the fastest Vlad?” A woman took the chance to take a shot at the man mountain.

“Vlad fast enough. But I always get a kill!” Retorted Vlad with a big grin under his bushy mustache.

“The kid will be fine, he can carry our stuff.” The voice this time was from a tall and lean man that had been leaning against a wall. Vlad shrugged and Talen wondered how the mysterious man carried the respect of the group. “Shaw, give the kid some spare gear, and get that stupid traveling cloak off him.”

The woman shrugged and grabbed Talen by the shoulder and lead him away from the group. The little warrior felt the same feeling he felt at the Ixian Castle, he felt that people saw him as a nuisance, as someone the leader took a liking too as a whim.

The pair walked up the stone steps into the Watchhouse and Shaw pushed Talen forward into a small room.

“This is where we keep our stuff when out. I probably have some cloths that will fit you, but your washing them before you give them back right?”

“Sure Shaw.” Replied Talen with a grin.

Shaw knocked on Talen's head as one would a door. The youth stumbled backwards in surprise.

“Look youngling. This isn't a picnic. If Regan said you can come, you can come. But if you slow us down, we will leave you behind. If you make noise and we lose our prey, I'll break your legs myself. This is a way of life for us.” Shaw picked up a bag and pulled out a simple jerkin and chucked it to Talen.

The youth caught it awkwardly and changed into it as Shaw stood outside the door. The youth was a little depressed that the woman's top was slightly too big for him, and swore he would do everything in his power to stop that nugget of information from getting back to the Knights. The youth carried with him the man tools of the trade, most of which were of no use hunting. Talen pulled his swords out of his belt and strung the larger across his belt and placed the rest of his stuff in the corner. Although the youth was a little worried about his stuff being taken, he knew that the Watch would make sure no one they didn't know enter the room. Satisfied, the youth walked out of the door and Shaw nodded her head.

“Its an improvement. Whats that thing on your wrist?” asked Shaw.

“Oh, its like an easy to use flint.” Talen looked around nervously, “Shall we go?”

The youth got three steps before the dreaded happened.

[Hysteria]

“Yo Bun boy! Going hunting?” One of the Watch walked over to Shaw and Talen, “Look after this kid Shaw, he's the Bun kid.”

“He's the Bun? I thought he'd be taller.”

The youth could not escape his past. Slowly he edged away from the two adults as they stared at him with he's-so-cute grins on their face.

“I guess that's why Regan said you could come.” Shaw looked out through the front door and her smile slipped away, “Come on, we need to head out. We've wasted enough time.”

Talen felt a waft of cool air as he walked out of the building and into the street. The hunters stood ready next to a wagon with the essencial gear already packed. As Talen and Shaw approached nine pairs of eyes followed.

“Alright group, got someone to introduce. This is no ordinary kid, this is the Bun Kid!” Shaw lifted her hands to show off Talen.

The group smiled and Vlad laughed and hit Talen on the back.

“Bun!” Vlad's smile beamed at Talen, “Maybe you catch deer as good at thief? Ahahah!”

“Alright, lets go. We've missed enough daylight already.” Regan's words cut through the laughter as the group.

The group climbed onto the wagon and Regan took the front seat with Vlad and whipped the horse into movement. Talen sat slightly confused in the back as the wagon move through the street.

“I kinda figured we'd be riding.” Talen ventured to no one in particular.

“We catch the wagon along an old lumberyard trail. Then go by foot through the forest. Its too dense for horses, even if we could, they would be too noisy for us. Then we carry the catch back to the wagon, where we leave John,” The man explain nodded towards one of men, “and cart back to the city.”

“Huh” replied Talen.

“Don't worry Bun, we'll make sure you do alright.” A different hunter slapped Talen on the back. Talen felt a sinking feeling.

[Hysteria]

The forest was sparse as they followed the old trail. Slowly the thick brown trunks grew closer and closer together and the group became quiet as silence descended across the entire forest. The youth didn't like it. He didn't like the growing sense of foreboding that had refused to leave since last night, and he didn't like that the group had barely talked at all about what was going on in Underwood. All the youth had managed to establish was that Jenny from the Dirty Dime didn't mind turning two tricks a night. Exactly what Jenny turned Talen had no idea, but it seemed good enough that most of the hunters knew what it was.

“Alright, we are here.” Regan pulled up the horses and tied the reins around their holder on the front of the wagon, “Grab your stuff, John make sure you give the horses some feed in an hour. Paul, Red, you two are in front. Find us some good deer right?”

The group all worked as a finely turned instrument. Everyone grabbed their weapons and equipment from the wagon as Paul and Red disappeared into the forest.

“Bun, take this.” Shaw tossed Talen a large bag.

The youth lifted it with a groan and slid it over his back. The youth paused as he tried to get used to the weight, but he knew he never would.

“What the hell is in here? Bricks?” Talen almost growled the last word.

“There are some knives, spare arrows, some medical supplies, a few rations and quite a bit of rope.” Shaw replied with a smile, “we put it together before we left. Sort of like a Bun-Welcome-Pack.”

“Welcome my ass” grumbled Talen as he shifted the weight so it sat next to the sword on his back.

Shaw pretended not to hear as she fixed her bow and placed a quiver across her back. Most of the hunters carried a similar assortment of weapons. Talen guessed that six of the ten had bows, three had crossbows, all had knives, and Vlad carried a giant axe. Paul and Red stepped back through the trees and Talen's attention snapped back.

“There's some deer tracks looks like they went past some time yesterday. There's also plenty of rabbit tracks around. We might be able to snag a few with traps.” Said the man who Talen assumed was Red, thanks to his flaming red hair.

“Right. Paul, set some traps and stay here with John. I'd like to bring home a full wagon of game this time.” Said Regan.

Paul nodded and walked over to the wagon and pulled out a bundle of rope. Everyone else left Paul and John to their work and started single file through the forest behind Red. The group was silent apart from a few words shared with Red and Regan. Talen realised the flaw in his information gathering with the hunters nearly silent as they tracked their prey. The youth groaned inwardly as each step he felt as if his bag was getting heavier. The forest too was becoming harder to traverse. The trees caused the group to constantly weave and although they may have only walked one hundred meters as the crow flies, their feet covered one hundred and twenty.

[Hysteria]

The group stopped suddenly and the daydreaming Talen walked into the back of Shaw. The huntress cracked Talen in the chest with her elbow and the youth fell to the ground in shock and pain. It took every ounce of the restraint for Talen to remain silent but silence guarded any further lose of respect. His blue eyes watched with quiet intensity as the hunters fanned out through the trees, searching for something Talen had no idea of. The youth struggled to stand, but the weight of the pack he carried weighed him down.

A strong hand grasp the boy and lifted him easily into the air. The youth twisted from his dangling position and met eye to eye with Vlad. The huge hunter lowered him with a smile and again patted Talen on the head before joining the other hunters. Talen stumbled over to a tree and lent against the trunk as he watched. A flash of red drew his eyes and he saw what had caused the group to stop.

At the base of one of the massive trees that made the mighty Concordia Forest was the remains of a deer. Talen struggled to link what he saw with an actual image of a deer, so torn and shredded was the caucus. Whatever had killed the deer had torn it to pieces before devouring most of it. The group came back together and Talen quickly joined them. The circle of hunters contain almost palpable tension.

“Wolves.” Shaw looked at the others for agreement.

“Big wolves.” Vlad maintained his indomitable will, but concern laced his features.

“Wolves don't normally attack people though, at least not when there more than two. Right?” Talen wasn't sure what was causing the hunters distress.

“We shouldn't have brought the boy.” Red's face was serious.

“It'll take more than a few wolves to mess with me.” Talen retorted.

“We should keep going. The corpse is hours old, and there are no recent signs.” Regan looked back in the direction they had come from, “The quicker we finish, the quicker we get back to the wagon. Underwood needs this food people.”

The group nodded in agreement, but their body language was far from cheerful. As the group started again on their trek, Talen was left to wonder how many wolves it takes to rattle a group of hunters. He didn't see how even a full pack of wolves would be able to do anything to a group of eight experienced hunters.

[Hysteria]

An hour past as the group continued its winding trek through the forest after the herd of deer. The mood had grown tense, with nervous glances out into the forest nearly as common as the fallen leaves that littered the forest floor. Talen knew that something was wrong, but as to what was a mystery. The youth's face was creased with concern, and splattered with effort thanks to the heavy pack.

At least though Talen was learning. When the group came to a stop suddenly, Talen stopped too. Regan stepped silently forward with his hand held high in a fist. A quick progression of hand signs and the hunters fanned out. Vlad stepped past Talen again and turned to the boy. His finger went to his mouth to signal silence.

As Talen stood and watched he could just see the deer between the trees ahead of the ground. The youth barely breathed as the others stalked forwards and circled the herd. It was like watching an artist at work. Every movement, deliberate and perfect. Seconds seemed minutes and the trap was ready. The group had circled around the herd and stood hidden behind the trees that would soon become a death trap for the deer. A whistle, as one would hear from a bird sounded and a second later the twang of bows. Chaos erupted from the deer as their number fell under the precision shots of the hunters. Beating hooves on the forest floor sounded and Talen realised the remaining deer were charging towards him. The original herd must have been around twenty, and with ten cut down the remaining charged towards the heavily laden youth.

“Oh shit...”

Talen lifted his hands and summoned the magic within himself. Dark tendrils shot into the air from his finger tips and lifted high into the air. The deer charged forwards and it either Talen or the deer would fall. From behind there were shouts from the hunters as they realised Talen was in danger. The youth felt a cold calm take over him as the darkness entwined itself to form a mesh. The shadows fell forwards, a cascade of hardening black metal. The black chain net fell on the deer in a flurry of kicking and hooves. It only took a few seconds for the Shaw and Regan to reach Talen. Their knives whipped out and they descended on the trapped deer and slit their throats.

“That was impressive Bun.” Red dropped to a knee and picked up the black chain to get a closer look, “Very impressive.”

“Bun did good!” Vlad walked over to the boy and smacked him on the shoulder, sending Talen stumbling to the side.

Regan stood up and wiped his knife of the blood of the last deer. He allowed a small smile across his face for a second.

“Alright, we've got a hell of a catch today!” The hunters give out a murmur of agreement, “Shaw and Vlad, get the deer from the behind us. We'll sort out these. Lets get that net off.”

Talen released his hold keeping the chain together and it evaporated into nothing. Regan paused for a second then grabbed the closest deer and started to tie it for travel. Talen was grateful as some of the hunters took the rope out of his bag. Little did he realise he would have to carried back one of deer.

[Hysteria]

A small rabbit moved slowly through the under brush. The creature had managed to live for three years, and in the rabbit world he was considered an old vet. Already a great, great, great grandfather the rabbit had seen and done it all. Fortunate that his life had been full when a false step set off a spring trap and he found himself dangling a metre off the ground. In the last few minutes of life the rabbit thought about how he might have lived his life differently. He had always wondered about the rabbits that lived in an open field, and if their life of lush green grass was much different to his own. When he had been young he had considered travelling out of the Concordia forest and experiencing life on the road. Those days had past sadly and as the hunter walked over to the strung up rabbit and placed his hand on the creature's neck one final thought went through his mind.

I knew I should have eaten that carrot befo *SNAP*

Paul untied the dead rabbit and dropped it to the floor as he re-strung the trap. The hunter had managed to capture quite a few rabbits with his spring traps and hoped the hunting party was having as much luck as he was. Paul picked up the rabbit and wandered slowly back to the wagon.

“Yo John, got another.” Paul looked around, but John was no where near the wagon, “John? You there?”

Silence answered. Paul's trained eyes turned to the ground and a story unfolded. Scuff marks next to the wagon, someone had turned suddenly. Four prints impacting hard two metres away, like a wolf's only bigger. A few drops of blood on the side of the wagon, a cut. Paul's eyes turned to the trees. Scratch marks on branches, and what seemed like more blood.

*thud*

Paul froze as the sound came from behind him. The hunter's hand went to his hip and it a flash he turned with his knife drawn. The man's face dropped as he stared at the giant gaping mouth. His hand moved, a flash of blood and Paul fell to the ground dead. Slowly his body was dragged through the leaves and away from the wagon.

[Hysteria]

The hunters worked quickly and in less than thirty minutes they had tied up the twenty strong catch. Talen was distraught when Vlad handed the youth one of the deer to carry back, but there was simply nothing that Talen could do. The others all took two, and Vlad, Red and Regan three. The trip back toward to the wagon was far slower than the way in with every man and woman heavily laden and it took twice as long before the exhausted group finally caught sight of the wagon.

“Ho!” Vlad, still looking as energetic as when they had left Underwood hit Talen hard on the shoulder, “Soon Bun, we will be back in Underwood. They will celebrate our catch!”

“We should be quiet.” Red's words cast a cloud over the group as they realised that there was no sign of John or Paul.

The group moved forwards, slower, with eyes scanning the surrounds. A hundred metres from the wagon Regan's hand lifted into the air and the hunters stopped. As a group they lowered their catch to the ground and Talen slid off his bag as well. The group moved forwards slowly in a staggered line with bows drawn. Vlad's axe glistened in the light spotted with shadows from the canopy above. The group moved and all but Talen could read the ground like a book. They saw the original struggle, the sudden death. They saw clearly how Paul's life had ended and the beast which had taken it.

“Werewolves.” Growled Vlad.

Talen's eyes widened as a thud sounded from behind him. Vaguely he made a mental note never to be the one at the back of the group again.

[Hysteria]

Talen twisted on the spot and was face to stomach with the huge werewolf. The youth lifted his sword as the creature reached back its clawed arm. Time seemed to slow as Talen felt himself lift off the ground and fly through the air. It was not however the werewolf's doing as the giant beasts claw struck the mightly axe of Vlad. The two giants of muscle and sinew pushed against each other in a display of extreme strength. The stalemate was broken as an arrow flew past Vlad's head and struck the beast in the shoulder. The creature broke off in a howl of rage. The other hunters circled around with bows drawn and victory in their sights.

*HOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!*

The sound rang out from behind the group, then another off to the side. A second passed and a hunter cried out as the full weight of a giant werewolf landed on top of him. The sickening crack of bones and a gargled moan was all the singled the end of the man's life. The group splintered instantly as a Vlad charged his werewolf with his giant axe and Shaw moved in behind him, firing another arrow into the beast.

The others turned to the newer lycanthrope and a rain of arrows slammed into the giant mass of fur. The creature barely paused as it leapt forwards again, slashing through the chest of a hunter with a splash of blood.

Talen slowly looked around dazed from his position on the ground. His eyes shot around wildly as he was finally able to focus. The youth stumbled to his feet and brandished his sword at no one in particular. Talen was the only one looking through the group as the third beast landed on the on the other side of the fight and charged towards the group. The youth kicked himself forwards and ran past the others and towards the new beast.

“BUN!” Shaw's voice was shrill, but Talen ignored her plea..

The youth's body was enveloped with dark light as he summoned his magic. He stopped a few metres from the beast and thrust his head forwards and with the action shot a jet of black liquid from his mouth. Talen's Liquid Ooze arched through the air and hit the surprised beast in the chest. Talen lifted his right hand and flicked his wrist, activating the device on his forearm and sending a bright spark into the jet. Flame arched from the impact and along the liquid onto the beast. The werewolf let out a giant roar of rage and pain as it widely tried to bat out the flames that burnt through its flesh.

There was no time to spare as the youth twisted on the spot and charged towards the second beast. The dozen strong arrows that pin-cushioned its body had done little to slow it down as the creature grabbed a hunter by the head and ripped it clear off his body. Talen felt fear bubbled up though his stomach, but continued regardless. Once more his body was enveloped in dark light in an instant as his body flooded with magic. The youth skidded to a halt in front of the beast and roared his own pre-pubescent challenge to the lycanthrope. It took the bait and descend on Talen like a wave of fur and muscle.

The darkness exploded out of Talen in a torrent of shadows that engulfed the creature. The beast was nearly on top of Talen, too close for the youth to miss, too close for a second chance. The darkness solidified around the werewolf and it struggled against the rapidly hardening substance. A claw pushed forwards, collecting Talen in the chest as a direct punch and sending the youth hurtling backwards. Darkness overtook Talen's mind and he hit the ground and bounced into a tree trunk.

[Hysteria]

What I could really go for is one of Underwood’s famous hot buns. Buns so good they melt in your mouth. The sweet, sweet buns are simply to die for.

Buns. Hmmmm

Bun.

Bun

BUN!

“BUN!”

Talen slowly opened his eyes into the worried face of Shaw. The youth looked up at the woman's face as if for the first time, seeing the woman, worried for her new friend. The huntress was still there, but there was more.

“Huh...?” The youth could only managed the single syllable.

“Silly Bun. Intent on being a hero huh?” Shaw smiled and patted the youth on the head gently.

Talen felt himself rocking backwards and forwards and realised he was in the wagon. Around him were piled the deer carcases and also quite a few rabbits. The sight of the blood nearly made the already nauseous youth vomit. He turned to Shaw and realised she was walking along side the wagon.

“What happened?”

“We lost five. Paul, John, Eve, Sai and Ute. Would have been more if it wasn't for you. You broke them up, allowed us to get on top of one of them, then the other. The one you caught in that stuff was the easiest. You did good Bun. Real good.” Shaw smiled again, “We are nearly back at Underwood, just rest. You took a pretty impressive hit.”


* * * *

“Bun!” Vlad hit Talen hard on the shoulder and he stumbled to the side.

“Hi Vlad.” replied Talen clutching his arm.

It had been two days since the hunting party had gone out. They had come back later in the day missing five of their group, and others sporting injuries. Vlad had four impressive cuts across his chest from a werewolf's claw, but the beast had felt Vlad's axe against it's neck soon after. The catch they had come back with was the best in the season, with twenty deer and half a dozen rabbits.

Talen was standing out the front of the Watchhouse with the other hunters before another trip into the forest. The group was sombre, and although they were professionals, they felt the loss of their comrades keenly. Shaw smiled at Talen and reached into a bag by her feet.

“Well Bun, we got you something.” Shaw pulled out two balls of fur.

“Thanks?” Talen looked at them suspiciously.

“They are slippers, made from genuine werewolf fur.”

“Holy hell in a hand-basket.” Talen took the slippers and looked at them in awe, “amazing!”

“Shaw made them.” Regan added, as monotone as ever.

“You ready to catch some more game? The smoking rooms won't fill themselves you know.” Shaw changed the subject and smiled again, it was become quite a habit, “although there has been a boom of quail lately, so our prey might be quite less imposing.”

Talen nodded and turned over the slippers, underneath were the distinctive werewolf paws. Information gathering could wait another day he thought with a smile.

Spoils:
A pair of Werewolf Fur Slippers - With the ability to keep feet toasty warm

[Lord Anglekos]

Story: 18/30
I felt you could have expanded a bit more on your introductory post, Hysteria; you explained that Talen was an Ixian Knight and that he had previously come to Underwood (whereupon he'd gathered his nickname), but other than that I got no real sense of just whom Talen was in terms of his past and his goals. Throughout the thread I expected to see these explanations pop up - perhaps an insight into his personal life, or the memory of an event long ago - but I got none. Still, it was tangible and enough information for me to grasp a basic understanding of who he was and what he was doing there in the first place, and it wasn't terribly too surprising to see him pick the third job of the ones on the board. You developed a decent sense of rising action throughout the thread, and kept me wondering straight to the very end as the werewolves attacked the group, which I quite enjoyed; it was a nice turn-around that I honestly did not see coming. However, I docked a couple of points for the abrupt conclusion at the end, as it didn't feel like it truly "resolved" anything; in fact, it felt quite a bit anticlimactic. It was a conclusion nonetheless, however, so I ended up giving you a slightly above-average score for this category.

Character: 10/30
This was, perhaps, your weakest category of the three. As I stated in "Story", I never really got a sense of whom Talen is, other than that he was a Ixian Knight and evidently a young prodigy of some sort to be able to become a captain at such a young age, along with having a slightly inferiority complex. Throughout the rest of the thread, I got bits and snatches of his personality reaching out, but they retracted before they could become truly tangible, and it was honestly frustrating trying to figure out just whom the shadowmancer was as both a person and a Knight. Especially in one point, where I thought that as a captain, he would show more backbone to the other hunters whom seemed complacent with treating him like the child he was and pushing him around; instead, he made only a few slight snide remarks and moved on. It really felt unbecoming of him. Combined with the fact that you never truly expanded upon the secondary characters and their personalities, especially the mysterious "leader", Talen and the group felt like one big, as Stephen King put it, "bag of bones".

You seem to have an ideal of what you want Talen to be like, that I could see throughout the thread, but due to the fact that he lacks a "strong" personality you have to emphasize what Talen's emotions are even moreso, so that he doesn't fade into the background of the more expressive characters in threads.

Writing Style: 20/30
I don't have as much to say here as I did with Character; your writing style is solid, but if this were the full rubric I would say it is lacking in Creativity somewhat. How you describe things is often entertaining, and caught my attention quite a few times, but at the same time I felt like you could reach out and fill the scene with more vibrancy. Oftentimes I would read over a post and be somewhat disappointed that you didn't take the next step as I thought you would, and then in the next post you would have a line that would fill my inner-editor with glee; such as in post #7:

"A small rabbit moved slowly through the under brush. The creature had managed to live for three years, and in the rabbit world he was considered an old vet. Already a great, great, great grandfather the rabbit had seen and done it all. Fortunate that his life had been full when a false step set off a spring trap and he found himself dangling a metre off the ground. In the last few minutes of life the rabbit thought about how he might have lived his life differently."

This was a great opening line to the post, and provided that sense of rising action that I mentioned beforehand. You clearly have talent when it comes to making the story move along, and I'd like to see that talent burgeon and grow.

Wildcard: 6/10
As I read, I didn't really get the sense that you gave this all your effort, but it was a decent read nonetheless. As I said, I really enjoyed the turnaround of the werewolves and the great rising action you provided; master those and work on your character, and you'll be a pro in no time.

Final Score: 54/100
Hysteria gains 800 EXP!
Hysteria gains 100 GP!
Hysteria gains a pair of roughly made, but comfortable, werewolf slippers!

[Silence Sei]

GP-EXP added.