Everlast

[Everlast]

Name: Cumulus Backstep A.K.A Everlast
Age: 24
Race: Human
Hair Color: Silver
Eye Color: Silver
Height: 5’11
Weight: 150 Lbs

Personality: Very levelheaded guy, is optimistic most of the time. Loves being in sword fights.

Appearance: For the most part he looks ragged and homeless but this is the way he likes it giving his enemies a false sense of hope. He wears a ragged cloak over his all leather armor and has his hood up all the time except for when he gets in battle. He wears steel platemail boots with his leather upper body armor and his steel leggings, with steel shoulder pads.

Skills:

Swordsmanship: He has average swordsmanship seeing as he is a reincarnated legendary swordsman.

Demon: Everlast has a demon transformation from an experiment gone wrong. When he goes demon he gains one and a half times strength and one and a half times speed he also gains two feet in height and his muscles bulge and get bigger. (Lasts 3 posts(Explains in history))

Equipment: Everlast wears a ragged cloak that he had found lying in the middle of a forest, he wears leather upper body armor with steel shoulder pads and he also wears steel leggings that are accompanied by steel boots. He has one steel long sword.

History: Everlast is a reincarnated legendary swordsman. Since Everlast was a little boy he always dreamed of becoming a very good swordsman and his father had started buying him swords. After awhile he had gotten too many swords, so he sold all but his latest one and was given one hundred gp for three iron longswords, Everlast then went out and bought his first steel longsword that was a bit wider then usual. When Everlast was thirteen bandits attacked his town and took him prisoner, they also took his conjunction sword and kept it right beside his cage. He was kept in the cage because the bandits somehow knew about him being a reincarnated swordsman. One day Everlast reached his sword and hacked and slashed his way out of the camp while receiving two arrows to his back. He passed out a short distance away from the bandit camp. A passer by saw his trouble and helped him. Later on after Everlast regained consciousness he noticed he was strapped to a table. The man that had supposedly saved his life was performing experiments on him. Supposedly this mad man knew about his reincarnated skills and tried to remove them permanently. After a while Everlast got annoyed and got very angry because he wanted to see his parents. Thus turning into a demon, which symbolizes revenge. To this date he becomes the demon when he wants revenge on something. He killed the scientist and ran out then passed out. There he awoke thirty-six hours later trying to get home.

[Cyrus the virus]

If you're going to use Cloud's sword, try to explain it a little better... Like, say, how many swords he actually has. That kind of information is important!

The explanation on the demon form is incredibly vague. Does he grow more powerful when he transforms? How much so? Is he faster then? How long can he stay transformed? What does he look like upon transformation? How did being mad suddenly give him these powers?

Regarding history, why was he in a cage? Why did this guy who saved him perform these experiments? Most importantly, why is he the reincarnation of a legendary swordsman? It all seems to be thrown together simply to explain these random powers he has.

If you want to make a character you'll stick with, you need to put a lot of thought into it. Making a generic badass is fun and all, but doesn't make for interesting reading or writing in the long run.

Of course, you can still use this character. I totally suggest you think about the history a little more first, though.

[Everlast]

there i think i made everything to your specifications

[Cyrus the virus]

It still says 'several iron long swords'. How many, three? Four? Nine? Sixteen? This goes under 'equipment' so people don't have to look through your history for that basic info.

Three of the above number options would be total overkill, just so you know, heh.

With his demon form, make it so he becomes 1.5x as strong and 1.5x as fast, nothing more than that. Also, make the demon form last only up to 3 posts, and have it so he can only transform once in a battle.

[Everlast]

there mister cyrus i think its done i changed clouds sword to a single steel longsword i couldnt think of how to describe clouds sword.

[Cyrus the virus]

Keep in mind you can only turn into a demon once per battle. In quests, you can do it multiple times as long as you limit it, and have some time in between transformations.

Approved!