Piggie
07-28-11, 01:43 PM
Name: Gap “Pork” Sherman (Born Gapelmir Lossëhelin)
Age: 24
Race: Elf...ish...
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Grey
Height: 6'7”
Weight: 168 lbs
Occupation: Ne'er-do-well
Personality: In this world, there are certain soft souls who claim that there is something good to be found in every person. These people even go out of their way to befriend the most unlikely and unsavory of sorts in their efforts to prove that everyone can be made decent with just a little bit of friendship and, yes, love...
Gap makes even the sappiest of these people flee in terror.
Slugs leave slime behind wherever they go; Gap leaves an odorous trail of pointless petty crimes. He steals, vandalizes, and cheats for no reason at all. Great thugs make theft an art—Gap makes it a religion. He has no respect for the concepts of personal property or personal space. What's mine is yours, and what's yours is Gap's. Most people would describe him as repulsive, but—like an onion—as you peel back the layers, it is revealed that Gap is, in actuality, extremely repulsive. He constantly makes perverted advances on women and speaks in the nastiest fashion possible. He has no regard for politeness, hygiene, or the opinions of others. The swarthiest of sailors and most gangrenous gangsters have been disturbed by his vulgarity.
He has a perpetual lump of mucus in his throat and chest, and he speaks in a hoarse, moist voice that's somewhere between slimy and gravelly.
Oddly enough, however, Gap does have some vague morality. He doesn't hurt people for fun, at least. Well...usually.
The only things that really seem to motivate him are fun and food. He doesn't even care about money, except as a vehicle to get more food. In some ways he's extremely childish—he loves anything that's sweet, particularly candy, and he's entertained by baubles and toys. He's almost always laughing at something or the other.
Despite all this, he's cunning and intelligent. He's well read and not nearly as ignorant as you might expect. On top of this, he has street-smarts coupled with experience and a solid memory.
Colorful Vocabulary: Gap speaks an amalgam of street slang from around the world, sailor-speak, and creative curses of his own devising.
Appearance: Although he has the tall, skinny frame and pointed ears of an elf, very few would ever recognize him as such. His hair hangs in a mop of congealed dreadlocks that haven't been washed in years. His teeth are tinged yellow and several are missing. His eyes, large and with light blue irises, are always slightly too wide open, making him look a bit deranged. A permanently scraggly layer of stubble coats his face, in which bits of congealed food gather like leaves in a gutter. His smell can be felt from up to 15 feet away, and has caused at least one poor woman to pass out in a light faint. He has the perpetual sunburn of a pale person who spends a lot of time in the sun, and his skin is always peeling.
Whether he's attractive or not underneath the many layers of grime is hard to say. He has a cute round, upturned nose, and otherwise typically pretty elvish facial features, but these are so obscured by his filthiness that no one would ever notice.
Hardened brown rags hang around his body—remnants of the same clothing he had five years ago. A wooden sword hangs without a scabbard at his waist, and he wears “sandals” that are blocks of wood tied to his feet with string. A round straw hat sits on his head to keep out the rain—preventing him from even being cleaned by accident.
Skills:
Skilled Swordsman, Monkey Style! – Although receiving no official training, Gap is an effective swordsman due to his experience and pure unpredictability. His fighting style has been described by trained soldiers as “bizarre” or “completely insane” and this gives him an edge over opponents. His fighting style is almost akin to dancing—but instead of the fluid, regal ballet of the typical master swordsman, Gap fights to a primal, animal beat with jerky, unruly movements. Over the years he's developed three defined sub-styles that he combines and switches between at will.
--Slug Style: When channeling the slothful slug, Gap's movements become sluggish and seemingly lazy. In reality, however, he's just being extremely efficient—using the smallest amount of energy possible to keep fighting. Primarily a defensive style, this allows Gap to protect himself even when he's exhausted or injured at the cost of reducing his offensive abilities to naught.
--Toad Style: The warty toad taught Gap the tactical value of jumping around like an idiot. In this mode, he barely spends any time on the ground, leaping from place to place and darting around with increased speed.
--Pig Style: The heart of Gap's offensive style is the charge of a boar. He'll attack with no thought to his own safety, simply charging his enemy with his body. No subtlety at all.
Education: Gap can read and write fluently, and has beautiful cursive penmanship. He knows general information about the different countries of Althanas, as well as having a basic knowledge of science and mathematics. He never uses this skill, and is actually embarrassed by it.
Abilities:
Elfish Reflexes: Thanks to his ancestry, Gap is 33% more agile and has 33% better reaction times than the average human.
Toad Legs: Gap can jump moderately (33%) higher and farther than your average human.
Filthiness: Gap's pure uncleanliness has provided him with a near immunity to regular bacterium or viruses. Although he has a perpetual cold, he never gets seriously ill or has a flu, and he can be considered slightly resistant to most forms of poison and contagions. He can also eat food that's rotten or moldy without suffering from it.
Magical Resistance: Born with an innate resistance to magic of all sorts, spells effect him slightly (15%) less than your average human.
Un-skills:
No Manners: Exactly the opposite of charismatic or likeable, everyone Gap meets is automatically repulsed and disturbed by his presence.
Poor Thief: Gap is compelled to steal every object he sees—he really can't help it. Unfortunately he's not even a skilled or sneaky thief and he nearly always gets caught or noticed.
No Sense Of Direction: At all times, Gap has only the roughest idea of where the heck he actually is. He gets lost very easily, can barely tell his left from his right, and would be hopeless in a maze.
Un-abilities:
Frail: Gap is 15% less strong and breaks his bones much more easily than the average human. His speed allows him to avoid taking damage, but when he does get hurt it's serious.
Cold: He doesn't deal well with snow or chilly temperatures, and is very weak against ice or water magic.
Equipment:
Wooden Sword: Other than the clothing described above, Gap's only earthly possession is a simple wooden sword carved from oak. There is nothing magical about the weapon. It never belonged to an ancient sage, it wasn't crafted by a great smith, it isn't engraved with runes and it doesn't speak in a snarky yet humorous fashion. It doesn't even have a hilt really—just some cloth wrapped around the bottom. One step up from a stick.
History: Gapelmir Lossëhelin was born to respectable parents, in a respectable home, in a respectable elven community. The middle child out of five, his brothers and sisters each grew into respectable and productive members of society—each more beautiful and graceful than the last. Where, then, can we find the explanation for Gap's orcish attitude and foul demeanor?
The simplest explanation is that there isn't an explanation. He was treated with the same loving kindness as his siblings, lacked no creature comfort as a child, and had a perfectly normal life. Despite all this, the older he grew, the clearer it became that he was different from his brothers and sisters. No matter how many baths his mother gave him, he perpetually smelled like garbage. His hair knotted and as his baby teeth fell out, his adult teeth grew in crooked. While his siblings learned how to play music, Gap wanted nothing more than to roll around in the mud and play with his favorite pet—a potbelly pig named Foot.
The truth is, it was no one's fault. Gap just was an anomaly not cut out for life among his people. By the time he was sixteen, he'd gotten in enough fights with his parents to make the whole lot of them fed up with each other for good. He left home as a teenager, his last act of defiance an upturned middle finger as he walked out the door and began his life as a ruffian.
Age: 24
Race: Elf...ish...
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color: Grey
Height: 6'7”
Weight: 168 lbs
Occupation: Ne'er-do-well
Personality: In this world, there are certain soft souls who claim that there is something good to be found in every person. These people even go out of their way to befriend the most unlikely and unsavory of sorts in their efforts to prove that everyone can be made decent with just a little bit of friendship and, yes, love...
Gap makes even the sappiest of these people flee in terror.
Slugs leave slime behind wherever they go; Gap leaves an odorous trail of pointless petty crimes. He steals, vandalizes, and cheats for no reason at all. Great thugs make theft an art—Gap makes it a religion. He has no respect for the concepts of personal property or personal space. What's mine is yours, and what's yours is Gap's. Most people would describe him as repulsive, but—like an onion—as you peel back the layers, it is revealed that Gap is, in actuality, extremely repulsive. He constantly makes perverted advances on women and speaks in the nastiest fashion possible. He has no regard for politeness, hygiene, or the opinions of others. The swarthiest of sailors and most gangrenous gangsters have been disturbed by his vulgarity.
He has a perpetual lump of mucus in his throat and chest, and he speaks in a hoarse, moist voice that's somewhere between slimy and gravelly.
Oddly enough, however, Gap does have some vague morality. He doesn't hurt people for fun, at least. Well...usually.
The only things that really seem to motivate him are fun and food. He doesn't even care about money, except as a vehicle to get more food. In some ways he's extremely childish—he loves anything that's sweet, particularly candy, and he's entertained by baubles and toys. He's almost always laughing at something or the other.
Despite all this, he's cunning and intelligent. He's well read and not nearly as ignorant as you might expect. On top of this, he has street-smarts coupled with experience and a solid memory.
Colorful Vocabulary: Gap speaks an amalgam of street slang from around the world, sailor-speak, and creative curses of his own devising.
Appearance: Although he has the tall, skinny frame and pointed ears of an elf, very few would ever recognize him as such. His hair hangs in a mop of congealed dreadlocks that haven't been washed in years. His teeth are tinged yellow and several are missing. His eyes, large and with light blue irises, are always slightly too wide open, making him look a bit deranged. A permanently scraggly layer of stubble coats his face, in which bits of congealed food gather like leaves in a gutter. His smell can be felt from up to 15 feet away, and has caused at least one poor woman to pass out in a light faint. He has the perpetual sunburn of a pale person who spends a lot of time in the sun, and his skin is always peeling.
Whether he's attractive or not underneath the many layers of grime is hard to say. He has a cute round, upturned nose, and otherwise typically pretty elvish facial features, but these are so obscured by his filthiness that no one would ever notice.
Hardened brown rags hang around his body—remnants of the same clothing he had five years ago. A wooden sword hangs without a scabbard at his waist, and he wears “sandals” that are blocks of wood tied to his feet with string. A round straw hat sits on his head to keep out the rain—preventing him from even being cleaned by accident.
Skills:
Skilled Swordsman, Monkey Style! – Although receiving no official training, Gap is an effective swordsman due to his experience and pure unpredictability. His fighting style has been described by trained soldiers as “bizarre” or “completely insane” and this gives him an edge over opponents. His fighting style is almost akin to dancing—but instead of the fluid, regal ballet of the typical master swordsman, Gap fights to a primal, animal beat with jerky, unruly movements. Over the years he's developed three defined sub-styles that he combines and switches between at will.
--Slug Style: When channeling the slothful slug, Gap's movements become sluggish and seemingly lazy. In reality, however, he's just being extremely efficient—using the smallest amount of energy possible to keep fighting. Primarily a defensive style, this allows Gap to protect himself even when he's exhausted or injured at the cost of reducing his offensive abilities to naught.
--Toad Style: The warty toad taught Gap the tactical value of jumping around like an idiot. In this mode, he barely spends any time on the ground, leaping from place to place and darting around with increased speed.
--Pig Style: The heart of Gap's offensive style is the charge of a boar. He'll attack with no thought to his own safety, simply charging his enemy with his body. No subtlety at all.
Education: Gap can read and write fluently, and has beautiful cursive penmanship. He knows general information about the different countries of Althanas, as well as having a basic knowledge of science and mathematics. He never uses this skill, and is actually embarrassed by it.
Abilities:
Elfish Reflexes: Thanks to his ancestry, Gap is 33% more agile and has 33% better reaction times than the average human.
Toad Legs: Gap can jump moderately (33%) higher and farther than your average human.
Filthiness: Gap's pure uncleanliness has provided him with a near immunity to regular bacterium or viruses. Although he has a perpetual cold, he never gets seriously ill or has a flu, and he can be considered slightly resistant to most forms of poison and contagions. He can also eat food that's rotten or moldy without suffering from it.
Magical Resistance: Born with an innate resistance to magic of all sorts, spells effect him slightly (15%) less than your average human.
Un-skills:
No Manners: Exactly the opposite of charismatic or likeable, everyone Gap meets is automatically repulsed and disturbed by his presence.
Poor Thief: Gap is compelled to steal every object he sees—he really can't help it. Unfortunately he's not even a skilled or sneaky thief and he nearly always gets caught or noticed.
No Sense Of Direction: At all times, Gap has only the roughest idea of where the heck he actually is. He gets lost very easily, can barely tell his left from his right, and would be hopeless in a maze.
Un-abilities:
Frail: Gap is 15% less strong and breaks his bones much more easily than the average human. His speed allows him to avoid taking damage, but when he does get hurt it's serious.
Cold: He doesn't deal well with snow or chilly temperatures, and is very weak against ice or water magic.
Equipment:
Wooden Sword: Other than the clothing described above, Gap's only earthly possession is a simple wooden sword carved from oak. There is nothing magical about the weapon. It never belonged to an ancient sage, it wasn't crafted by a great smith, it isn't engraved with runes and it doesn't speak in a snarky yet humorous fashion. It doesn't even have a hilt really—just some cloth wrapped around the bottom. One step up from a stick.
History: Gapelmir Lossëhelin was born to respectable parents, in a respectable home, in a respectable elven community. The middle child out of five, his brothers and sisters each grew into respectable and productive members of society—each more beautiful and graceful than the last. Where, then, can we find the explanation for Gap's orcish attitude and foul demeanor?
The simplest explanation is that there isn't an explanation. He was treated with the same loving kindness as his siblings, lacked no creature comfort as a child, and had a perfectly normal life. Despite all this, the older he grew, the clearer it became that he was different from his brothers and sisters. No matter how many baths his mother gave him, he perpetually smelled like garbage. His hair knotted and as his baby teeth fell out, his adult teeth grew in crooked. While his siblings learned how to play music, Gap wanted nothing more than to roll around in the mud and play with his favorite pet—a potbelly pig named Foot.
The truth is, it was no one's fault. Gap just was an anomaly not cut out for life among his people. By the time he was sixteen, he'd gotten in enough fights with his parents to make the whole lot of them fed up with each other for good. He left home as a teenager, his last act of defiance an upturned middle finger as he walked out the door and began his life as a ruffian.