The Journals of me.

[Amber Eyes]

Do not be afraid of what is unknown, for therein lies all the adventure.

Day 1.

Truth be told I do not know what exactly what you expect me to say. You tell me of this girl with brown hair and blue eyes that first destroyed; then became, the hope of your people. You tell me she is a murderer, but also a hero. You say that she had a son; you show me pictures of this beautiful little boy who smiles at you without a care in the world. Then you tell me she walked away from him.

You say these are my memories, but they are simply stories to my ears. Each one a bit wilder than the last, like a children’s book that tries to capture its readers throughout their adolescent years. As you speak I pick at the green threads sticking out from the large chair I sit in, enjoying watching something else unravel the way I imagine my insides are. Ocassionally I lose track of the dialogue in the room, just staring at the dark oak floor below me, wishing I could simply fall through it and go into a place of non-being. Sometimes I wish you’d just stop talking about her; surely there must be something else you people are interested in.

No matter how much I ask you politely to stop, inside my head of course, you just keep going. You tell me she loved a man-a man who was engaged to someone else. You tell me she used to be a thief, tricking honest people into giving her all of her desires. You tell me these things and you expect me not to dislike this woman.

True, you also included bits about her reading stories to children in the nursery. You did not forget to include her bravery in battle, though the strength of that is diminished by her arrogance in my mind. Here is a girl who was given everything a young woman could want, and she still couldn’t find happiness. She sought out what was not hers and staked a claim. I pity this woman. I wish I could tell you this, but there is always kind of a sad hope in your eyes that your little girl may come back to you and I can’t bear to break your heart.

As we walk through the marble-filled hallways of the Ixian Castle you point out places of interest. Apparently this room is where she broke her arm training with an over-eager recruit, and that hallway over there is where she used to try to get Akiv to stand up, despite his being a mere three months old. This is where she read. Across the hall she would practice piano with her sisters. She picked out the painting hanging above the fireplace in the dining hall; the one with all the wildflowers blowing gently in the wind. I stopped and stared at the landscape for a moment, taken aback by all the colors blending together as though someone wanted to take all the beauty in the world and hold it in their hand. I could almost feel the cool wind on my cheek. I brought my hand up to my face to see if my skin was cold, if the illusion was real, that is when I realized a single tear rolled gently over my skin. I could not place what about the picture made me cry, but I vowed to never look at it again. Even as I left the room I broke my promise, noting a signature written sloppily in the corner. KMA

You show me her room, filled with baby items and sturdy furniture. You leave me to look through her desk where I find doodles of his name next to her shopping lists, surrounded by disgusting little hearts that I might find cute if I was unaware that they represented her will to destroy a relationship. I sit on her bed and try to imagine her feeling trapped here as you told me she did. I cannot find any sense to her point of view, though I try my best. I have met so many people since I have arrived, each one with their own story to tell. Kyla they call me, but I am not her. I will never be that self-centered. You brought in a man to talk to me and help me adjust. Truth is I do not need help adjusting, I feel as comfortable here as I have anywhere. Nothing feels like home when you can’t remember the people or the places you come from.

Playback, my ‘psychobullshitologist,’ thinks I should visit some people to see if anything will jog a memory I am suppressing.

Oh yeah, that’s what they are saying. I am suppressing these memories. I got a bit upset during a session and told him that maybe I was suppressing these memories because Kyla was an unappreciative bitch. That did not go over so well. I heard him speaking to you later and telling you that I was ‘self-loathing.’ What a load of shit, how can I self-loathe when I do not consider her a part of me? I look at it this way: maybe at one point I was this Kyla, but to me it is no different than when you cut a tree down and turn it to paper. That paper is not a tree; it does not grow or send its roots for water. It is only what it has become. A part of me fears that refusing to be Kyla will cause me to lose these people who have been kind to me. If I’m not her then they have no reason to care about me anymore. I suppose I need to think it through a bit more.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 3.

I am really starting to like this Anita girl. So far she is the only one who can understand a bit of what I feel about who I was. She and I went shopping today because most of the clothes here are a bit big for me. Dr. Aislynn, who is apparently a cousin, says that I am about ten pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and I should not lose any more if I hope to stay up to par on the battlefield. It is odd to hear her speak of my pregnancy and of my battlefield experience seeing as I do not remember either one. As we walked the cobblestone streets, strangers would stare at us unashamedly. Apparently Sei is something of a big-shot hero around here and this is just how people behave.

I struggle with finding my way around this place sometimes. I have two rooms; one in the tomb below the castle, and one on the top floor of the castle itself. It is kind of odd to look at the differences between the two rooms as on belonged to Kyla before she had Akiv and the other was the room the two of them shared. The old room is pink and frilly and full of drawings burned into the stone walls. The lights are dim and it lets of a romantic mood, as though Kyla’s entire existence were that of a heroine from a poorly written romance novel. Actually, from what I’ve heard that isn’t far from the truth of the matter.

The second room is much more grown up, decorated in black and white with bursts of red jumping out at you at all the right moments. Sometimes looking around I can believe that I was once her. Our tastes are rather similar and I can almost imagine holding a baby and staring out the window at the training grounds watching the men prepare for the inevitable. I try to imagine myself floating through life and waiting for greatness to be dropped at my feet.

I’m sure there is much more to who I was, but it’s sometimes hard to see. I look around and can’t help but be jealous that she knew all these people so much better than I do. Speaking of the people---

This family is huge. I still cannot remember all the names of my various cousins and uncles. Apparently that shall change though as I leave today with Anita and Emma, two of my ‘sisters’, to visit several family members. Our last stop will be to Chateau Drantrak, which is apparently my hometown, to visit my father and pick up my….Kyla’s son. We are supposed to leave in the morning and I’m not terribly excited as I find it odd to listen to the two sister talk about ‘the good old days’ before Kyla went missing. I can see the sad look in Anita’s eyes when she turns to me and begins the phrase “Remember when….” only to cut off and realize that I don’t. Emma is very sweet, but a bit quiet, leaving Anita to fill the silence. Man can that girl talk, and most of it is trivial information she reads in books she carries around in a backpack that has the strangest items in it. Anyway, I better get packing; I don’t know how I’m going to fit all these clothes into few enough bags to carry.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 12

We’ve been on this boat for eight full days now, and I’m a bit sea-sick. Anita tells me that this is nothing new; apparently Kyla once vomited on her boyfriend during an eventful trip to Alerar. As she told me this story I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girl and for just a moment I could almost feel her embarrassment as though it were a distant memory. I grasped at the feeling, hoping for by some miracle I might find the place where she lays waiting deep inside my soul. She was gone in moments and I couldn’t help but feel a bit teary eyed at the thought of being so close to understanding where I came from.

A few days ago--I am losing track of time out here on the boat, if it weren’t for Anita’s constantly badgering the crew about the time it takes to sail to Salvar I would perhaps be completely lost.

Anyway, a few days ago I sat down and actually told Anita and Emma about my life before I arrived here. I have to say it was nice being the one with a story to tell for once. They seemed enthralled by the tale of me awaking in a hotel room with a strange man and being told that I was probably a wanted person. I could see the hatred in their eyes for my captor, who swore his undying love to me. I swear I saw Anita cry when she learned of me running away and finding a woman in a coffee shop who finally had a name to give me. Stephanie Ambrose.

I didn’t know the meaning of that name until I came here; she is the woman who holds the heart of the man who held Kyla’s. Apparently for some reason Kyla gave that name when she traveled just before whatever happened. One day Kyla vanished and three weeks go by before I remember waking up in the hotel with a terrible headache and a missing past. From there I just did some research and it didn’t take long to find out about the missing niece of famous Sei Orlouge.

When I finished speaking we sat in silence for a few moments; Emma’s brown eyes avoiding mine, while Anita’s blue orbs bore holes through me. It felt good to get the story out of my system, to take a few of the questions from their eyes. It was the first time I felt like perhaps these ‘sisters’ cared for me, without seeing someone else in my features.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 12

We’ve been on this boat for eight full days now, and I’m a bit sea-sick. Anita tells me that this is nothing new; apparently Kyla once vomited on her boyfriend during an eventful trip to Alerar. As she told me this story I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the girl and for just a moment I could almost feel her embarrassment as though it were a distant memory. I grasped at the feeling, hoping for by some miracle I might find the place where she lays waiting deep inside my soul. She was gone in moments and I couldn’t help but feel a bit teary eyed at the thought of being so close to understanding where I came from.

A few days ago--I am losing track of time out here on the boat, if it weren’t for Anita’s constantly badgering the crew about the time it takes to sail to Salvar I would perhaps be completely lost.

Anyway, a few days ago I sat down and actually told Anita and Emma about my life before I arrived here. I have to say it was nice being the one with a story to tell for once. They seemed enthralled by the tale of me awaking in a hotel room with a strange man and being told that I was probably a wanted person. I could see the hatred in their eyes for my captor, who swore his undying love to me. I swear I saw Anita cry when she learned of me running away and finding a woman in a coffee shop who finally had a name to give me. Stephanie Ambrose.

I didn’t know the meaning of that name until I came here; she is the woman who holds the heart of the man who held Kyla’s. Apparently for some reason Kyla gave that name when she traveled just before whatever happened. One day Kyla vanished and three weeks go by before I remember waking up in the hotel with a terrible headache and a missing past. From there I just did some research and it didn’t take long to find out about the missing niece of famous Sei Orlouge.

When I finished speaking we sat in silence for a few moments; Emma’s brown eyes avoiding mine, while Anita’s blue orbs bore holes through me. It felt good to get the story out of my system, to take a few of the questions from their eyes. It was the first time I felt like perhaps these ‘sisters’ cared for me, without seeing someone else in my features.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 33-

We’ve Reached Salvar. I met my uncle Steppenwolf yesterday and he is quite the character. I have noticed that few of the Orlouge’s could be considered normal, but I truly hope he is as far from ordinary as I will come across in my travels. The first thing I must tell you is that he is absolutely huge. I am talking has to duck through doorways huge. It also doesn’t help that he has a gigantic afro atop his head, which by the way is bright pink. His house is quite possible the most filthy thing I’ve ever seen. It appears from the outside to be a tiny little shack, complete with rotting boards and what I can only assume is a tin roof.

The entirety of the trip by land was on top of piles of snow, something I have never seen and honestly never want to again. The sun shone of the top of the white land and caused me to trip from being unable to see. I must admit, while I do not like the snow it is definitely a step up from the sea and I will take what I can get. I am not sure what exactly it is the Orlouge’s love so much about traveling but I can assure you I am not quite as enamored with it. Steppenwolf showed me to my room—yes, the shack apparently has twelve, yes twelve, bedrooms—it was tidy and filled with pink which should not have surprised me. Steppenwolf has not once mentioned anything about my past life and I must say I adore him for that.

We spent last evening sitting around the fire and enjoying the company of Steppenwolf and his adorable puppy, Pepper. As we sat on the rug I cleared in his living room, surrounded on three sides by piles of tin and wood, we laughed and talked about our plans. I could not help but notice a masterpiece on the one clean wall brightening the dimly lit room. I walked over to the painting and took in its beauty; stars swirled in the night sky above a sleepy little town. The black sky seemed to fade from view as you noticed the silhouettes of a couple pushing a carriage in the distance. Their outlines stood against the cracking gray cobblestone surrounded by brick buildings high on either side. They were such a small part of the overall painting and yet I could not pull my eyes from them. To anyone else it would have seemed that they were an afterthought, something the artist added to give a bit more perspective to the night sky. I do not know how or why, but somehow I know that the entire world existed for those three people and not the other way around.

I looked full to the corner, knowing what I would find, the initials KA stared back at me.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 35-

I am not ready to leave Steppenwolf’s home. Anita said I always enjoyed my time here and Steppenwolf chimed in that he had always enjoyed it more-so because I tidied up a bit. I cannot help but fall a bit in love with my dear old uncle. I will miss him terribly, but I promised to make this trip and I know that staying here is not an option.

Yesterday he caught me staring at the painting again. He wrapped an arm around me and asked me what I thought of it. “It’s by the same person who did the one at that Sei’s home right?” I checked his eyes for any recognition. He smiled down at me, “Kyla always had a soft spot for this artist. I suspect you’ll find a great many of these during your visits. She was always buying the darn things up right and left. I doubt the poor artist can feed herself now that her one and only buyer has gone missing.”

His words replayed in my head as I slept; it seemed odd for someone to say that Kyla was missing when everyone else always said that she was merely trapped inside of me. I searched for a hidden meaning as I tossed and turned, but could not find any. Perhaps Steppenwolf simply understood my disconnect from this former being more than anyone else.

This morning he pulled me aside and asked me to return soon. I assured him I had the time of my life here and would visit at my first opportunity. He handed me a small box made of soft cloth and gestured for me to open it. I felt like a kid on its birthday as I quickly pulled the lid off and glanced at the silver chain inside. I pulled the cool metal from the box and noticed a key hanging from the bottom. I stared at my uncle quizzically and he simply shrugged. “A little birdie told me you might need this.” He bent down and kissed my head and I quickly memorized the smell of dirt and machine oil that filled my nose. I hugged him tight before standing on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek as he leaned over me. “Thank you.” I said as I tore my tear-filled eyes from his and returned to my room to pack.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 39—

I am writing this looking down at the world from a ridiculous height. When Steppenwolf told us we would be traveling in a new way I could never have imagined something like this. He led us to a clearing and there sat a basket big enough to hold at least ten people. Attached to the top was this colorful fabric formed into a dome that apparently fills with hot air and lifts the basket into the sky. According to Steppenwolf this contraption is a hot-air balloon and he has designed it based on the ones made in Alerar. We will be visiting Alerar and he wants some upgrades done to his design so we are taking it there for him, saving us several days travel. Steppenwolf introduced us to Jessup, a close friend who will be flying the balloon for us and kissed us all goodbye. Moments before we took off he stood outside of the basket, and grabbed my hand tightly. “I’m proud of you little one.” The words struck something in my heart and I choked on my words unsure of what to say to him. At that moment Jessup fired up the gas and Steppenwolf’s hair burst into flames. As we lifted into the sky Anita, Emma, and I all called down to him. “Thaynes Blasted Alerar, Jessup I told you the next time you did that you would be fired!” Jessup laughed behind us and soon we were all laughing as well, watching Steppenwolf pat his large head from above.

Jessup’s words mixed with the sound of the birds whose path we blocked, “And I said stop putting your head next to the gas you goon.”

As I look down at the land it is hard to believe that there are people living down there. I feel very much as though I am looking at a painting rather than the real world. It makes you feel so small when you watch a town that took you a half hour to walk through simply pass by in moments. The blue sky has sucked us up whole and I’m not sure I want to ever go back down to the earth below. Something about being high above everything that might hurt you makes you feel stronger and capable of anything. Emma does not like the balloon quite as much as I do, she says that a fall from here could kill us and it is stupid to trust some hot air to glide us safely across that world. I think that the Thaynes have given us this beautiful view and surely that means they bless our travels.

Anita and Emma fell asleep as darkness enveloped our craft, and Jessup and I stood in silence taking in the beauty of the stars before us. I looked down and noticed a reflecting light shining lightly below us. I tapped Jessup lightly on the shoulder and pointed at my find. "What is that light?" He leaned over the edge a bit for a better look before he answered. "That's just the starlight reflecting off of the mountains. That means we are crossing the border. Welcome to Alerar little lady."

[Amber Eyes]

Day 42-

We arrived at Alerar last night. I have no words to describe the things I have seen here. As we approached in our balloon I realized this would be like nothing I had seen before. We landed and said our goodbyes to Jessup before walking through town towards Uncle Ciato’s home.

The streets were perfectly kept with buildings blocked by brightly colored booths lining the streets. We passed booths selling the usual wares, delicious food, and all sorts of gadgets that did amazing things. The people who ran the booths were elves and I did my best not to stare at them as we made our way through. When we were near the edge of town I heard a loud sound behind me and turned to see what it could be. I looked at Emma who smiled brightly before pointing into the sky. Above our heads was the largest ship I have ever seen suspended in mid-air as though hung by strings from the clouds. “What in the world…” I gasped. “That, little sister,” Anita placed her hand on my shoulder and smiled, “Is an airship.”

We walked for quite a while before we saw the mansion in the distance. The sun was beginning to set as we reached the door. A pretty girl with perfect features and a pristine white apron hung around her small waist opened the door. Her pale skin against the black fabric of her dress mixed with my exhaustion made me think of an angel. “You must be Sei’s children.” Her proper tone drew my attention, “I am Madision. Ciato will not be in until late the evening, but he has arranged for you a room. Please follow me.”

We followed in silence as we were led through the massive foyer that seemed to be made entirely of Agate. At the foot of the steps two men wearing suits took our bags and followed us up the carpeted stairwell and onto a landing. Portraits of Ciato’s children lined the walls, each one almost identical to the last. The same cat-like features set off by the bright blue eyes that proved they were actually part of our family. We turned right down a hallway and Madision opened a door on the left. “If you need anything there will be a guard on at the bottom of the stairs that will be able to help you.” She motioned for the men to set our bags in the room and then they gave us their plastic smiles one last time before closing the door and leaving us to our own devices.

I looked around the large room and notice that there were three beds lining the far wall. Each bed had a different color bedspread and I could only assume the pink one was for me. Sure enough Anita headed directly for the blue one on the left and Emma sat her bag on top of her yellow spread. I stretched my arms above my head in a yawn as I noted the gray-green walls and the plush white carpeting. I then headed towards the door that I could only assume was the restroom. I opened the door and instead was greeted by the cool night air. I walked onto the white stone balcony and looked over the surrounding area.

There was another building in the distance and Madison walked across the perfectly manicured lawn in its direction. I deducted that it must house the servants and that reminded me that I knew almost nothing about the man I came here to visit. I crept back inside where Anita lay snoring and Emma seemed to be having an unpleasant dream. I changed into my nightclothes before crawling into my own bed. Just as I began to drift off the rain started.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 44-

We have not seen much of Ciato in this visit. We will be leaving tomorrow morning and I have only had a couple conversations with him. Honestly I am not much surprised as what I have learned about him has led me to believe he is a very selfish man. Ciato and his wife, who is a goddess, have several children who have basically been raised to fight their parent’s battles for them. I have received absolutely no encouragement to speak to any of them except for one. Anita told me the girl’s name is Amy and she kept making eye contact with me during breakfast.

Ciato went on and on about how glad he was that I had come to visit and that I must return during a less busy time so that me and my ‘favorite uncle’ could work on some of the things we had been plotting before my ‘unfortunate situation’ began. Anita later told me that Ciato and I had never gotten along all that well and that he was probably just trying to win me over with all the ‘favorite uncle’ stuff. I searched the house after breakfast hoping to find Amy but I never came into contact with any of ‘the litter’ as Ciato lovingly refers to his offspring.

About mid-day Anita excused herself to take a shower while Emma and I read. I was moments away from finding out the prince’s secret when a soft rapping at the door pulled my attention from the pages. “Come in.” I called, expecting Madison to tell me it was time for lunch. Instead a white head of hair peeked around the door and Amy gestured for me to follow. I pulled on my sneakers and followed her from the room and down the hallway. “Where are we going?” I asked before she put her finger to her lips to tell me to be quiet. She led me down a back staircase adorned with cat figurines and into the basement below. There were at least thirty doors on the hallway, each marked with one of the children’s names. A different musical instrument could be heard behind each one. Amy grabbed my arm and led me into a door about halfway down. Her room was white from floor to ceiling, with touches of pink here and there. “It’s music hour so I knew I could get you down here without anyone noticing.” Amy’s voice came out barely a whisper and I had to struggle to hear her over the dozens of instruments each playing a different song.

“How do you practice with all this noise?” I asked, pointing to her violin. “We don’t have time for small talk Kyla, we have to get down to business and get you back upstairs. Father would kill me if he knew you were down here.”

I looked at the door and then back to her. “Then why did you take the chance?”

“You were very kind to me the last time I saw you Kyla. I know you don’t remember me, but we fought and I broke your nose. Even after we sparred you smiled at me. You said it was nice to finally meet your cousin. I don’t want to get all sentimental here, but you were probably the first person in my entire life to actually want to know who I am instead of what I can do. I broke into your room that night and we ate strawberries while you told me of your life out there. I want to go with you one day, but that isn’t why we are here. You asked me to give you this if you were ever lost, and from what I can tell not knowing who you are is pretty darn lost.” She handed me an envelope as a loud bell rang above our heads. “Five minutes till music hour is over, you should go.”

I stared at in disbelief, “But what about…”

She held her hand up. “Whatever you want to talk about will have to wait, write to me but address it to Madison.” With that she ushered me out of the door and I ran as quickly as I could, trying to be as quiet as possible as I climbed the steep staircase.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 45-

We have been traveling for several days on foot. I am beginning to enjoy sitting around a campfire with Anita and Emma each evening and laughing about the day’s events. Succed is supposed to meet us at the edge of the red forest in another day or so and I am eager to continue our adventure.

We traveled through a town yesterday and I sent my first letter to Amy. It was a short letter, mostly filled with questions and concern. Hopefully she will be able to reach me at Succed’s house during our stay. Anita and Emma seem to think Sei will be able to help her in some way so that will be one of my first concerns when we reach Corone again. There was a lot of pain in her eyes as she spoke to me and I have carried her words with me since we left.

On a less personal note, I am glad to leave behind the rain, but the humidity has followed us the entire way. Several times we have stopped to rest and I have had to use my shirt to dry the moisture from my face. Emma has not felt well since we left Ciato’s; hopefully we will be able to get her to a doctor in Raiera. Her spirits are low and I know she is regretting making this trip at all.

We stop again, lowering our heavy backpacks onto the dry dirt. I open mine and pull out a bottle of water, a blue and green summer dress, and a couple poles from our tent. I stab the poles as far into the ground as I can and use the dress to make a sort of canopy. I help Emma underneath the contraption and hand her the bottle of water.

“Take it easy for a little while” I smile at my little sister before joining Anita a few feet away where she sits atop her own pack.

“You know we will never make it if we keep stopping every hour.” Anita brushed her brown hair away from her blue eyes before digging small gullies into the sand with the heels of her white sneakers.

I glance up and look around me as though something will come to me. I can see the tops of the trees in the distance, barely making their presence known above the distant horizon. We were well within a few hours walk but looking at my Emma’s flushed face and tired eyes I knew she could not do it.

“Stay with her and I will walk ahead and meet Succed, surely he will know what to do. I looked around me in the dusty clearing trying to memorize my surroundings. “Will you be okay?” I am a bit worried heading out, I trust that I will find Succed and return safely, but I am not terribly excited about leaving my two younger sisters here alone. I suppose I will just have to hurry and hope for the best.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 51- Succed

Aislinn’s father Succed waited patiently for me outside of the forest. His brow furrowed deeply when he realized I was unaccompanied. I quickly explained about Emma’s illness and he wasted no time in gathering his supplies and taking the lead towards my sister’s camp. I had run most of the way in hopes of getting back to them before nightfall, but the sun was already half buried in the horizon and worry must have streaked my face just like my uncle’s. We traveled in near silence for several minutes before he finally spoke.

“You shouldn’t have left them.” His voice sounded more concerned than angry and I could not be upset with his scolding because I had been telling myself the same thing for the last three hours.

“So I was just supposed to wait for Emma to get better? What if the opposite had happened? I thought going for help was my only choice.” Tears began to cascade down my reddened cheeks; the sun setting did little to stifle the awful heat. “I am not any good at this big sister bit.” I nearly whispered the words as they were only meant for me.

Succed stopped dead in his tracks before grabbing me firmly by the shoulders, hurting me slightly. He leaned down so that we were face to face and I could smell the sweat dripping from his skin. “I don’t ever want to hear you say something like that again. You are a good big sister, and soon enough you will understand that.” I opened my mouth to respond and his placed his large hand beneath my chin and shut it for me. He then placed one finger over my mouth and smiled. “Now let’s go find them.”

He took off at a jog and I had no choice but to attempt to keep up, though each step felt like a thousand needles being pushed into my skin. My side ached from the constant movement and I was a bit lightheaded. We reached the clearing sometime after dark and I pointed in the direction I believed the camp to be. Succed stepped through the trees and turned to me. “This is it? You are sure this is where they were?” I stepped in front of him and took a few steps.

“I’m almost certain. That tree looks….Shit” The realization that the views I had memorized might be repeated a thousand times throughout this area or better yet look completely different under the cover of night hit me and I began to tear up again.

“Emma!” I screamed with all my might, hoping by some miracle we were within hearing distance.

“Anita!” This time his voice echoed my own before we both fell silent and listened for a response.

After what seemed like an eternity but actually was more like a few moments a groggy voice reached my ears. “Over here! We’re over here!” I ran towards the sound and found the camp exactly as I’d left it, Anita’s red and sleepy eyes looking up to me with a line of worry across her forehead. I couldn’t help myself, Kyla or not, I just had to nearly topple her with a hug. Succed decided we should go ahead a camp here for the night after checking in on Emma. The moment I lay down all thoughts of the day were gone and I slept the kind of sleep you only have when you know that tomorrow offers promise.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 58-

So far I've enjoyed my time with Succeed. The evening we arrived I felt like we would never finish with the hugs and introductions. It may take me several visits to get all the names straight. As soon as we reached the house they wisked Emma off to a private room where she is apparently doing much better. We are hoping she will be well enough to continue the journey with us, but if not we will return for her before heading back home. My legs are sore from games of hide and seek and piggy-back rides, but honestly I feel amazing. I never knew how much fun little kids could be, and yet I find myself using any excuse to hide away for a few moments of solitude here and there. On the second day I spent some time helping the younger kids with their lessons in the large living area. I should have known there would be a painting there, but it still took my breath away when I saw it. It was the sun, with small black figures drawn into its scorching core. It was the creepiest of all the painting I'd seen thus far, you could see the pain in the way they reached towards the viewer, as though their very souls were burning. It sent shivers down my spine and I could not draw my eyes from it until I felt a wet finger being placed inside my right ear. "You little..." I screamed with a laugh as I took off after the giggling group of boys, unsure of whom I was supposed to be chasing.

I decided to wake early the next morning in hopes that I could spend some time studying KA's picture in piece, but when I entered the spacious room I was taken aback. Every inch of the wall surrounding the cavas was now covered in drawings. Blue eyes looked out at me beneath flowing yellow and brown locks. Children laughed and played and stuck their tounges out. I touched several of the pieces as though they were simply my imagination and the still-wet paint coated my fingertips. I stopped at one drawing in particular. It was me. I stood grasping a small wooden box and trying to protect it from my mirror image. I could see the frustration in my brow as I clung to the item for dear life. Who was drawing me and why? I sat down upon the dark blue sofa and tried to take it all in. This was several hours worth of work, who could have done it? I fell asleep against the arm of the couch and when I woke the wall was clean. I started the morning debating if it were all a dream. It wasn't until I saw myself in the mirror and noted the red paint I had placed on my cheek during my sleep that I knew it was real.

That night I crept to the room as soon as the children went to sleep and I stepped into the shadows. I stood there for nearly an hour before little footsteps began to echo down the hall. A girl of about twelve, Allyssa, stood before me. She stared at the wall where I stood and I held my breath as though she might spot me. Her long dark hair framed her pale face and I could see her bright blue eyes even in the poor lighting. Those eyes screamed that they held a secret and it took all my will power not to run to her and beg her for information. I watched as she crossed the hardwood floor, taking care to miss the creaky spots and made her way to a large oak trunk. She lifted the lid slowly and winced slightly as it creaked. She reached deep inside the box and pulled out several small items before returning to the couch and laying them out. From my location in the back of the room it was impossible to make out what she was doing but something about the movements let me know she was mixing paint colors. She held up a small brush box and studied it for a few seconds before pulling out her chosen tool. Her hands seemed to tremble in anticipation as she turned to the blank wall.

I watched her paint until my legs ached and my eyes grew tired. Every movement she made was deliberate and precise. I smiled as she made the people she drew come to life. Something inside me ached for me to join her, to place all my emotions onto that wall and walk away relieved and reinvigorated. I almost stepped from the shadows when she put her brush down and began pulling at the hem of her nightgown. Her tiny, nimble fingers pulled out a small piece of paper and began to unfold it. She studied the crumpled sheet before laying it on the couch and smoothing it down. She picked up her brush again and dipped it, taking time to dab off the extra paint. As she approached the wall a shiver ran up my spine. I watched as she sketched me, the same picture from the night before, all the turmoil of the fight over the mysterious box. I crept across the room silently, dying to see what was on that page. I leaned over the back of the sofa, craning my neck to get a glimpse. I saw the exact copy of her portrait before I realized the brush strokes against the wall had stopped. I looked up and her bright eyes met mine. I gave a shy smile, a little embarrassed at being caught. She smiled back and gestured towards the front of the couch. I took slow steps and sat down, like a child caught sneaking cookies in the night.

"It's good to see you again." Her words pulled me out of my state and I looked at her again.

"Your work," I pointed at the wall, "It's amazing."

Now she had the shy smile, "Thanks, I had a great teacher." She moved her paints to the floor and took a seat across the couch from me, tucking her pale legs under her silk gown.

I picked up the battered paper that now sat between us and looked it over. "This is me, isn't it?"

A nod was my only answer.

"Who drew it? You?"

She shook her head.

"Then who?" My words seemed a bit desperate, but honestly I was.

She pointed at the portrait on the wall and I smiled.

"KA?"

"At least that's what you told me." Her voice seemed shaky.

"You didn't believe her? Er...me?"

She wrung her fingers slowly, " I'm not sure what to believe. I have something for you though." She hopped up and took her paints back to their place before digging around in the trunk. She handed me a small envelope and then rushed to the window to look up at the moon.

"I have to go now, Papa will be in here to clean up soon and if he knows I stayed up this late he'll ban me for a week." She hugged me awkwardly and then began to leave. "I thought you were never going to come out."

My jaw dropped slightly, how could she have known?

She smiled, "I have seven older siblings who have passed the shadow trials. I know when I'm being watched."

With that she padded quietly down the hall. I followed a few moments later and tucked the letter into my bag. Hopefully soon I would know what all this meant.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 67-

Cheateau Orlouge is amazing; I could spend hours staring at the bright painted buildings and perfectly manicured lawns. The outskirts of town are filled with walking trails, with lush gardens on either side. In the very center of the village lay what they call the temple. Apparently its other half sits in Cheateau Drantrak, the second mystic village. Not only is the temple where mystics go to take the light or shadow trials, but the heart of the temple is where our power comes from. Atop the large golden structure sat a large prism, casting bright light on every inch of the town. Colors splashed across the trees, houses, sidewalks, shops, everything seemed to be shining. I held up my hand and watched as the rainbow covered my pale skin. I could have explored for hours, but then I met Armonia Orlouge.

She was a nice enough woman, she had a sunny disposition and made amazing cookies, all in all she was everything I could as for in a grandmother. The problem was she couldn't seem to wrap her head around the fact that I don't remember last summer, let alone spending time with her when I was four. She gets very upset when someone tries to correct her about it, so I've been hiding out. Where does one hide in a village based on light? The basement of course. My youngest uncle lives down there, and I spent my three days here mostly reading across from him as he fiddled around on his guitar. Pretty much the only time we go upstairs is for meals or the occasional family outing. He doesn't speak much, at all actually. I honestly think he's said three phrases since I've been here. Hi. Dinner. You can stay down here.

Emma is feeling worse again and we've decided to postpone the trip to Cheatea Drantrak, Niche will instead bring Akiv to Ixian Castle after we arrive. I'm not worried, Aislynn is about the best doctor I've ever know, well, almost. Nathan still fills my mind from time to time, when I remember how I woke up with no idea of who I was. I'm not sure if my rescuer is a hero or a villain, but I suppose it doesn't matter in the end. Finding out who I am has led me here, so here I must remain. I was daydreaming on my final day in the mystic city when Razaak sat his guitar down and cleared his throat. "I suppose you'd like your stuff?"

I closed my book and stared at him, "You mean you have something for me and you waited till I was leaving to tell me?"

He looked uncomfortable as he answered, "Well...if I'd told you the first day you would have wanted to talk the whole time. I know you've lost your memory, but trust me, you can be quite annoying once you get worked up."

I couldn't help but laugh as he continued, "It's just a shadow-step through the wall behind the closet. And Kyla?" I nodded. "Be safe, and think things through. You've got a good head on your shoulders."

I gave him a smile before disappearing into the closet. When I stepped out, I was in a small room. A comfy blue chair, a bookshelf, a lamp, and a painting were all that adorned the space. I walked slowly towards the bookshelf, glancing at the titles. I had to laugh when I realized I'd already read my current book and I made myself a promise not to ruin it for me. I then took in the painting. It was of a blonde haired little girl with horns atop her head standing with a beautiful red haired woman. The two seemed so happy. It was then that I noticed the background. In the distance there stood the form of the girl with the baby, staring longingly at the auburn beauty. I ensured the initials were there before I allowed myself to turn away.

I noticed an envelope sitting atop the small bookcase and I quickly tucked it into my pocked before leaving the room. When I arrived in Razaak's room, he was gone. I raced upstairs, eager to get back to the castle and figure out what all of this could mean.

[Amber Eyes]

Day 72-

It's good to be home. My bed called to me the moment we arrived and I gave into its lullaby as soon as I knew Emma was in Aislynn's hands. I laid upon the black comforter and stared at the letters from my bag. The three envelops where identical, each one completely blank other than a few smudges picked up from their journey. I opened each one, laying the three pieces of white paper in a row on the bed. Each one had a page number in the top left. 1, 2, 4. I sighed, thinking perhaps I'd missed one along the way, or that the fourth was in Cheatuea Drantrak and I would be forced to make another trip. I lay back on my pillows in frustration, refusing to read the letters if I did not have all of them. My entire life was made up of incomplete information and I'll be damned if I'm going to add to that.

I had just about given up when I heard a knock at the door, followed by an envelope being slid under. I rushed to the door, but when I opened it no one was there. I selfishly stared at the final piece, not curious enough about the deliverer to give up one more moment. I raced back to my bed, placing the page in order and I began to read.

Kyla,
If you are reading this you've made your way home again. You've met your family, who by the way are amazing people. You have no doubt heard amazing stories of your bravery and your exploits. I swear sometimes these people make me sound like a saint. Keep your head on though, because deep down you know the truth. I think you know by now that I made the decision to forget everything. Nathan's job was to keep you on track until you were ready to figure everything out for yourself. Even as I write this I pray you found a way to be happy--that man loves you. I suppose if that is in fact what happened then you'll never see these words, and that would be for the better. I made the decision for you, that you couldn't handle the memories. Now the decision is up to you. With this key you can open a secluded area of the garden built just for me. Follow the spirals to the very center, then look along the concrete wall for a hidden door. When you're there start page two.

-Kyla Orlouge

[Amber Eyes]

I quickly bundled up, remembering the sprinkles that had began to fall as we entered the castle earlier. I shoved the pages into my jacket pocket and made my way down the stairwell and into the lush gardens Kyla had designed. The castle was quiet, everyone seemed to be in the dining hall. I slipped out a back door and began following the spiral sidewalks to the very center. As I walked I wondered how many times my body had made this trip before, surely the area meant something to me if I kept the key hidden. I reached the end of the sidewalk and began to pull apart the growing vines, looking for the mysterious door. When I finally found it, my heart leapt with anticipation. Everything I'd been searching for could be behind this door, waiting for me to simply walk in and remember. I sat against the vines, pulling the letter from my pocket and turning to page two.

Kyla,
Hopefully you decided to read this before you entered the area before you. I feel like I should tell you what you'll find before you go in. This garden was made using the same magic as the anklet you have on. Hopefully Nathan explained why it was so important for you to always keep in on. This is the one exception. When you walk inside you can remove the piece and you will become much more powerful. Unfortunately I have yet to figure out another way to overcome the anklet's safeguards, but feel free to play around while you are in here. Sei has made this place indestructible to give you practice at your full potential. Inside you will find a small building. Please read the next page before you enter.

[Amber Eyes]

As I placed the key in the lock I thought more about my anklet, it had in fact been explained to me. Something about my blood was self-destructive and the piece kept me from a most certainly painful death. I had accepted Nathan's knowledge with little question; he was a doctor after all. It seemed strange to think about him now, I had spent so long making him the enemy in my mind, at times even questioning if he had taken my memories. How had he become involved with me? Where did we meet? What did I say to convince him to take me in? No one has mentioned him since my return, had he known I'd leave? Why did he not follow? None of it made sense.

I stepped through the doorway, taking in the courtyard before me. The grass was perfectly cut, long enough to fully carpet the area, yet short enough to allow free movement. For some reason I had to kick off my shoes. It was as though I'd walked here a lifetime ago, and I suppose in a way I had. Nothing was familiar and yet I swear I could have imagined this place. Roses were placed along the walls in even spacing, surrounded by white lace covered ivy wrapping its way up the walls. There were two matching oak trees standing on either side of a small building. The oak to the left had a tire swing, while the one on the right looked perfect for climbing. I smiled as I heard birds begin to chirp as they noticed my arrival. I swear I felt as though they had been waiting for me. I stepped through the magical place, turning in circles with the sunlight on my face. As I turned I became aware of the cold metal against my ankle. I knelt in the grass, releasing the item's clasp and placing it in my jacket pocket. As I stood I kept my body tensed, waiting for some terrible sickness to overtake me. Instead I felt strengthened, as though I had rested. I had trained some before we left on our trip, and I was a bit curious if I would actually be stronger without the jewelry. I focused on the huge oak tree, feeling the energy leaving my body as I pulled the majestic tree up by its roots. I had trouble lifting anything bigger than a chair while wearing the anklet. I smiled as I thought of the uses this could have in combat. It was with a heavy heart I realized that would never happen. I would have to put the anklet back on to leave this enclosure. I laid the tree down and re-placed the piece, not trusting myself to remember later. I now understood why this room had been necessary. There is no way I could ignore the eagerness to let that kind of power out, without a chance to use it, I would suffocate under its weight. I sat in front of the small building, taking out the third page.

Kyla,

I hope you enjoy the garden. Sei gave this to me when he built Ixian Castle. Two people hold keys, you and Azza Ambrose. Don't worry about anything you damaged out there, it will heal itself. Sei really is brilliant sometimes. Before you is everything that I held dear. It is up to you to decide what to do with most of it, but I have one small favor to ask. There is a portrait I need delivered. If you hold this letter you have met my cousin Amy. Tucked away behind this door is a package she needs to receive. I needed to wait for the right time, and now it is here. Please see that it is sent off as soon as you can. I suppose you have become familiar with the artist KA, I tried to make it impossible to miss. Yes, I used his name. The rest of my work is yours to do with as you see fit. There will be a small chest inside, please read the final page before you touch it.

-K A

[Amber Eyes]

I reached for the small doorknob, glancing around me at the rustic red cabin of sorts. It was sturdy looking, but definitely worn. It reminded me at once of Uncle Steppenwolf's home, and it was clear to me that Sei had designed it with that in mind. I turned the knob and opened the door, immediately overcome by the sheer amount of canvases piled against the walls. I stepped inside of Kyla's workshop, feeling like I was entering a sacred place that did not belong to me. My feet creaked on the wooden floor, leaving footprints in the untouched dust. While it appeared someone kept the gardens outside tidy, this room had not been touched since Kyla had disappeared. I took careful steps, as though I might anger the room itself with rash movement.

My heart began to flutter as I picked up the first canvas, another picture of the lovely redhead and the blonde child. In this picture, however; a man stood smiling behind the two, looking not at the viewer, but seemingly unable to take his eyes from the beautiful girl. It was an amazing painting and I swore to myself that it I would find the subjects and ensure they were able to enjoy it. I continued to look through the room, finding no less that a dozen pictures of the strange man from the first. I saw him laughing, crying, and dancing. Who was this person?

I spent hours looking through the room, noting the beautiful landscapes, the paintings of our family that had caught their individual personalities. When I reached the halfway point in the room it all began to change. The happy faces adorning people I knew transitioned to people bleeding, souls caught in midair as though unsure how to leave this world. There were children crying as they lay over the lifeless bodies of what could only be their parents. There was a beautiful woman running away from each of these pictures, someone I recognized from papers in Sei's office. They were of Cassandra Remi. In another section I saw the glove I now wore, glowing brightly as it seemed to catch those lost souls. I watched as it touched those bodies, the dead's eyes opening in some. Kyla had wanted Cassandra Remi. I could see the determination in her brushstrokes, as though she was trying to create the world the way it should have been. It seemed in every picture Kyla drew of herself her features were somehow distorted, her eyes were not quite the right color, her nose was slanted more than it should have been. I compared it to the other pictures, with their perfectly accurate details. Had she truly been so blind when it came to herself? The next canvas I recognized the new construction Sei had been working on, it was the room right next to mine. A package tied to the back told me this one was for Amy. So Kyla and Sei had been building a room for the girl, I smiled at how much it seemed like something I would do. I lay the picture of Amy's room next to the family portrait I planned to take with me and was just about to open the fourth letter when I saw a painting I had missed.

Half the canvas was the auburn haired girl from before, seemingly perfect in every way. The other half was my own face, though again slightly off. I took in the stark differences, Kyla's dark hair meeting at the part with the flowing red curls. Kyla's blue eyes paling in comparison to the woman's own. Their noses met, one seeming almost regal while my own seemed out of place. The stranger’s lips were fuller, her chin more pronounced. I looked to the bottom where instead of a signature I saw a message. "I can never be her."

I took the painting and hurled it across the room. I hated my former self at that moment, it was all so shallow. Had she removed her memories over a married man? I walked to the door, ready to just burn the place down with the last of the weak Kyla Orlouge inside when I lay eyes upon the box for the first time. I took a few calming breathes before sitting down and pulling out the last letter.

[Amber Eyes]

Kyla,

I don't know how much of what you see in here make sense to you, but know that none of these were ever supposed to be seen. This is how I told the stories I couldn't speak. I feel like you have a right to know what you've lost so that you can decide if you want it back. Perhaps you are stronger than I was; perhaps you can live with all my failures. That's right, your memories are safe, inside this box, but before you take them I want you to hear my story.

I was born in Cheateau Drantrak, the youngest of three. My father was an amazing mystic, who cared deeply for my family. I spent my early years happily following my brothers around while they tried to get rid of me. It was a normal childhood, right up until I turned five. My fifth birthday attacks began on my home. A group of humans attacked the village; convinced mystic blood was impure and must be eliminated. They cut off communication with the temple, leaving all the mystics powerless. The mystics were rounded up and shot down. Their bodies lay in mass graves. My father and brother's went to fight, with no weapons at their disposal save a baseball bat or a chair leg. We'd relied so heavily on our magic that without it we were an easy target. My father hid me, but when I heard them come for my mother I got scared. I ran into the forest where I watched the other girls in my family shot, their bodies simply falling onto the pile.

I survived in the woods for several days before a group of men found me. They took me in, not knowing that I was a mystic. The leader, Zander made it clear to me that I had to keep my magic hidden, and that if I ever got a cut I would be done for. I stayed with the group for several years, forgetting much of my early childhood, like most kids do as they grow. As a teen I began to wonder who I was, thinking of running away to find my real parents. It wasn't until I watched the group kill a girl about my age for refusing to sleep with one of the men that I finally made my run.

I found Sei shortly after that, and he took me in. Back in the mystic world it didn't take long to find out who my father was. Very few people survived the attack on Drantrak, but Niche Orlouge was a hard man to kill. No one else from my family survived and my father had all but cut himself off from the rest of the world. Our reunion was bittersweet, of course he was glad to know I survived, but it must have been hard to find his precious daughter in a grown woman. I chose to remain with Sei and train. The rest of the Orlouge clan quickly accepted me as one of their own.

I met Jensen Ambrose during a crazy night at a local pub. We were both unattached and something about him touched the very core of my being. We were inseparable for months until my cousin Aislinn showed up. I've always been the jealous type, and I ended the relationship over heresy. I have regretted that decision ever sense. I went on with my life, fully expecting our paths to cross again at some point. I took the light and shadow trials, something that would kill most people, but once again my family saved my life. They created the anklet you wear, to control the fighting magic until hopefully someday we will be able to overcome it.

Having all that power is dangerous in more than one way. I was tricked into performing a spell that was created to hurt the mystic race. That was both the worst and best day of my life. Thousands of unborn babies were killed, two-thirds of the mystic population lost their powers, but it gave me Akiv. The spell protected a dead mystic's bloodline while sterilizing all others. It was a safe-guard to protect the spell's creator's own children. He died with none. Within weeks I could feel something changing inside of me, and I loved Akiv from the moment I felt those first kicks. He was born without a father, and well, I wasn't much of a mother. I should have been with him every day and night, but I was selfish.

Around the time I became pregnant Jensen fell in love with Stephanie. I watched as he looked at her the way I looked at him, the way I'd always hoped he'd look at me again. I was in a dark place that I can't explain. Akiv should have been all that mattered to me, but instead I kept trying to prove my worth. He'd loved me from the moment he was born, but I couldn't see how much that meant. It seems silly, but at some point my obsession with Stephanie became separate from Jensen. It wasn't because he loved her that I wanted to be her, it was because everything just seemed so easy for her. They adopted a little girl together, and she's amazing Kyla, she just is. She's smart and talented, and Stephanie is great with her. It all just came natural to them. I'm jealous of what she stands for, the perfect woman that I can't seem to find inside of me.

Sophia's mane, the glove on your arm, is more than just a weapon. It has the ability to hold souls. I could technically save hundreds of people simply by holding their souls untiil the doctors could rebuild their bodies. That's what I should have been doing rather than traveling around the world, pretending to be happy and ignoring my son.

Sei gave Jensen and I a chance to get past the emotions we were struggling with. He was having a hard time realizing that he was in fact ready to settle down and give his heart to someone, and I was struggling to put him in the past for good. I think Sei knew what would happen on that trip, but I was blissfully ignorant. I lost my virginity in a hotel room to a man promised to someone else. Not a stranger, that might have been easier to swallow, a man promised to someone who had considered me a friend. Someone with a good heart and the ability to make the hard decisions that I never could. How I must have paled in comparison to her that night! I couldn't look him in the eyes as I watched him leave me to go back to the perfect life he'd created. Without me he was stronger, without him I was lost.

I couldn't go home, couldn't face her, or him, or Sei, or anyone else who expected me to be able to pull myself together and be the person they thought I should. I traveled for days, using Stephanie's name. I can't explain why I did it, why I left, used her name. I suppose I just needed to pretend everything inside me wasn't so tangled. I know that doesn't make sense, but trust me, it hurt in ways you can't imagine. I rode along with the blood of innocents on my hands, and all I could think about was how I'd failed to be good enough for him.

I know I'm selfish, I know I'm not a good person, and I know most of all that I'll never be what the people around me think I am. I tried to kill myself, I couldn't even accomplish that. That's how I met Nathan, in a near-empty medical ward. He looked at me like I was an angel. He didn't know anything about me, so I kept using her name, kept pretending to be okay. I convinced him to help me, I set all of this up for you. I took my memories and hid them away, hoping you wouldn't want them.

So here is your choice...take the vial inside the box and drink it if you wish to remember everything, but remember that all the emotions that brought us here will be inside you as well. If you don't wish to remember then simply close the box and go about your life. No one has to know what lies inside. I leave my life in your hands, Thaynes knows it shouldn't be in mine.

-Kyla

[Amber Eyes]

I stared at the box as I sat the letter down on the dusty floor. I needed some time to mull this over, to wrap my head around all the information. This was my first glimpse into Kyla's mind, and I was unsure if I was ready to feel the way she had. I looked again at the picture of Jensen and Stephanie, the genuine smiles they shared in the portrait. It must have hurt to watch someone you love fall for someone else. It must have hurt to watch everyone around you realize their dreams while you stayed stuck in your own. At the same time I couldn't help but feel like she had missed so many opportunities to find happiness because she was so stuck on feeling sorry for herself. Kyla was me, she had my mind and my personality, could the things that happened to her have really changed her so much? I opened the small box and gripped the cool vial. Inside was everything I'd been searching for, everything I had wanted until this moment. I carried it with me and picked up the portrait of the Ambrose family. A cool breeze came through the open door, carrying with it sounds of frantic shouting. I left the building, still holding the items and made my way to the garden door. I turned the knob with the hand containing the vial and stepped out into the midst of at least a dozen members of the knights. Their worried expressions made my heart sink.

"What's going on?" I regretted the question the moment it left my lips.

A senior knight stepped forward, his eyes filling with tears. "Miss Orlouge, its your family. Niche was attacked on his way to the castle; he is recovering in the medical ward. We found him this morning and only just made it back."

I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful that he was okay before another realization hit me. "Akiv..?"

The knight's blue eyes spilled over, "I'm sorry Miss Orlouge, we haven't located him."

I ran as fast as I could, dropping the painting and vial on the spot. I heard my final chance to regain my memories shatter upon the concrete.

[Duffy]

Journals of Me Judgement, Light Commentary
Featuring Amber Eyes

Plot ~ 18/30

Storytelling ~ 6/10 – you worked well with the medium and the back story you conjured. There was effort to advance narrative, as well as to bring it together in a once again intriguing, but mystifying conclusion. If you wish to truly strike the nail on the head with the journalistic style, approach it with a little more focus on a particular over all story arc and weave that in more subtlety, so that each scene isn’t so obviously just a piece of your puzzle.

Setting ~ 5/10 – as with the comments made in the previous judgement for the sister thread, setting was basic, and lacked the development of the array of senses. Naturally, you conjure place with dialogue and time, but try to make us smell, hear, and taste (even if it might be awkward) your characters. There was plenty of distress, action, and momentum to conjure sweat, scent, and atmosphere. It’s a simple trick to bring about a description of the humid air, the damp wind, and the dark dancing lights.

Pacing ~ 7/10 – nothing untoward here. The flow of each entry was competent, quick footed, and didn’t lose tempo. Nicely written. Perhaps try a more varied approach, just to mix it up. A slow start, quick middle, and teeter off at the end; of a slow start, ambling middle, and then a quicksilver finale. Look into rhyming tempo for poetry, and see if it helps inspire pacing variations.

Character ~ 18/30

Communication ~ 6/10 – your score here reflects not a lack of writing talent, but the nature of the medium. It’s difficult to develop strong communication with such a snapshot approach. Every scene is short, so you’ve little time to allow dialogue to form. However, you went above the standard mark with the little quips, expressions, and exchanges between Kyla and the Orlouge NPC pantheon. Consider a Journal in the future where the dialogue takes a back step, so that it is more akin to actual journals, as opposed to a literally recount. Don’t be afraid to make a switch to 1st person narrative and to use heavy use of paraphrasing – it is after all the world of Kyla – so the memories should be peculiar to her view of the world.

Action ~ 6/10 – strong and simple, akin to the comments made in your other thread, though less overall because of a reduced focus on action for dialogue and exposition.

Persona ~ 6/10 – nothing exemplary beyond good use of the NPC reactions to Kyla’s erratic nature.

Prose ~ 18/30

Mechanics ~ 5/10 – much better than previous, however, proof reading, and attention paid to the extensive list of comments in the other thread should see this rise even further. The same issues raised in ‘You Again?’ are prevalent here also.

Clarity ~ 6/10 – clear, easy to understand, and well presented. I had little difficult understanding, but found it hard sometimes to understand why a particular scene or ‘day’ was used as an entry altogether. Whilst you delivered in the end, be careful not to take liberties with the reader’s knowledge of your character. If you intended this to run concurrent with another thread, a little indicator in the opening or links at appropriate reference points can guide the reader should he become disconnected. It’s not essential, of course, but it will help you on the road to hitting 8+ in short order.

Technique ~ 7/10 – little is left to be said except I strongly enjoyed your use of journal writing, and the usual plucky style you have. If you enhance your focus on mechanics, you will be a tour de force – retain your trite but whimsical and buoyant domestic tales, Amber, it’s a joy to be part of.

Wildcard: 7/10

Total ~ 61/100


Spoils:

Amber Eyes receives 1830 experience and 185 gold.

[Letho]

EXP/GP added.