Songs of the Heart

[orphans]

Closed to SirArtemis. All bunnying is approved. Quests in this series will only have SirArtemis as a consistent view point. This thread is Part 2 continued directly from this thread (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?23356). All bunnies approved.
Every time they bring me back from the Gates of Faria, I wonder if it was for the best. As the familiar rattle of a meal cart rolled slowly closer, Jackal opened his eyes groggily. I suppose my sister will just have to wait a little longer until I live out my usefulness. Propping himself up with a groan, Jackal took a quick survey of the room and was struck immediately by the scent of artificial cleanliness. Medical infirmary again…

The meal server stopped his cart in front of Jackal’s bed and took a list. “Oh hey, feeling better are we?”

Like the Nine Hells I am. “Just dandy. What’s on the menu?”

“Shrimp stew, fish stew, and crab stew.”

“I think I’ll pass, just give me the roll that comes with it.”

The server gave a sigh and shrugged. “Suit yourself. Just don’t whine at me later when you’re hungry.” Reaching down into a bag, the man brought up a fist sized roll and tossed it to Jackal.

“I’ll just go bother Elsa in the kitchen then,” Jackal managed with another groan as he pushed himself to the edge of the bed. The server just chuckled and continued on his round. “Hey wait, what time is it?”

“Five in the morn…”

Huh, only out for a few hours, Jackal mused pleasantly as he took a bite of the roll.

“…on the twentieth of Winterstar.”

Jackal’s chewing slowed to a snail’s pace as the enthusiasm in him deflated completely. A few hours and two days...

Munching the rest of his roll quietly, Jackal looked about the room at the few still around. Some Jackal recognized as the crew. A few others didn’t ring any bells and he figured those were the new mercenaries hired back at Radasanth. Then there were the few non-humans. Mahana be damned, better not assign any of the lesser kinds to me…

“Jackal, I see you’ve finally recovered.” A palm suddenly fell onto the man’s shoulder, making him jerk quickly to see who it was.

“Oh bite me Pell. It’s not every day a Scarlet rams me with its claws.” Rubbing gingerly as his midsection, Jackal stood unsteadily to face the man. Looking at his current commander, Jackal then took stock of the room once more before settling his eyes on the man before him. “Why are you up so early anyways? Thought you’d be hanging around in bed or breaking something again so Erieai would visit you.”

A frown crossed Pell’s features as he shook his head. “I’m here to see how you’re doing.”

“Oh that’s sweet of you to worry about me. Never knew you had those kinda feelings for me,” Jackal yawned with a grin.

Pell returned it with one of his own, “Of course. Who else would I assign to look after the new bloods on board?” At once, Jackal tried to object but only launched into a coughing fit. “I’ll take that as a yes. Tell me how it goes at dinner. I expect a full report.”

Jackal made a feeble grab for Pell’s arm. It failed in all regards and left only a fuming Jackal face down in his sheets. Next time, I’m running for the Gates of Faria and the pretty white lights.


Thirty minutes later Jackal found himself standing in a less-than-thrilled manner in front of a line of mercenaries recently hired from Corone. It took him a moment as he studied each one with a discerning eye, lingering on non-humans just a bit longer than the rest. The chilled air on deck was helping in clearing his head, but there was still the sore matter of his torso.

“I’m Auxiliary Force Captain Shavuk, but since I don’t really give a crap about formalities, don’t call me that.” A few looks of confusion and a nervous chuckle or two were passed around the line. Jackal only sighed and shrugged. “Just call me Jackal. Since everyone’s been on the ship for two days now, I don’t really see a point of a tour, so… dismissed!”

More confusion as a few of the mercenaries shuffled about awkwardly. Eventually, one of them blurted out, “We’re the unit assigned to you. All the other ones have had their orientation except us.”

Wonderful… I hate you Pell. Looking to each one of mercenaries again, Jackal gave them a more thorough gloss over. There were a total of ten soldiers: three men, four women, one that could be either, and two non-humans. Looking to the men first, Jackal mentally categorized each one. Names would come later. We have… tall and huge, tall and lanky, and short and round…

Feeling more depressed by the second at his sorry squad, he turned his eyes to the women and mused for a moment on each. She’s cute I guess… though that scar. That one is a bit top heavy… wonder if she can even move properly. That one just looks creepy with her hair draped over her eyes and of course… I also get the obnoxiously happy looking one too.

Sighing, his eyes continued to move to the next category. Androgyny at its purest form… I’ll find out with a grope later or something.

Finally, Jackal rolled his eyes over to the non-humans. And… a giant cat that looks human along with a human that has cat ears and tail… must be from that Akashima province in Corone.

Clapping his hands together once, Jackal rubbed them together lightly to keep warm as an ocean wind brushed along the deck. “Alright, tell you all what. Head down below to find the quartermaster. Ask him for a few maps of the ship and explore this place on your own. It’ll be more… fun that way.” A few of the soldiers shrugged and muttered among themselves and began to leave.

Suddenly, the more feline-looking soldier asked in a raspy voice, “What if we have questions about our environment?”

Of course a walking rugs would ask something like that, was the response that came to Jackal’s mind immediately, but he held back. With a slightly strained smile, he shrugged. “You’ll probably have more luck asking those that walk by. I’m not that good at explaining things. Now, any other questions? My stomach is starting to kill me, literally.” Another awkward silence punctuated only by shuffling settled onto the deck. “The hell are you all standing around here for still? Go get those maps and look around! Pick someone’s hand to hold if you have to.”

[SirArtemis]

Artemis sat on the deck of the massive metal vessel by the bow, his back to the rail. He had taken off his black leather armor and boots, leaving only the chaps. The rhythmic rising and falling of the ship as it tore through the waves onto its destination relaxed the young man, and the salty ocean air clung to his senses; the air out in the ocean was colder than he'd expected, but it was still early enough in the day. After all, he lived in Salvar, so a cool sea breeze on a sunny day still felt as warm as the summer up north.

Artemis watched as Jackal gave a half-hearted speech to a group of mercenaries. After dismissing the group, he strode over toward Artemis, cursing under his breath. He twirled a knife in the air, playing with it as his steps brought him a few meters from the young man. If Jackal noticed Artemis, he didn't show it.

"Jackal, right?" Artemis asked as he began to put on his boots.

"Yeah Hatchet Guy, it is."

"It's Artemis actually. I wanted to thank you for earlier."

"Doesn't matter," Jackal said, sending his knife spinning into the air with a flick of the wrist.

Artemis felt put off by the comment, but didn't allow it to deter him. "So where are we headed? It's been two days since we left port in Radasanth and I still have no idea where we're going."

He hadn't cared much when he had boarded, as his only goal at the time had been to get as far away from Radasanth and the angry gunman, Victor Callahan, as possible. Now he realized that the unconventional ship, wherever it was headed, would also be an unconventional place.

"Home. Finally." Jackal let out a sigh before putting away his knife and sitting down on a crate. He rubbed his chest with a groan, still recovering from the devastating attack. A score of men wearing plate armor representing the Radasanth Guard had approached the ship before it had left port, threatening to blockade the vessel - Jackal's wound had been a result of the following encounter.

"Where exactly is home?"

Jackal grinned, though a hint of a wince showed as well. "Se'lutia. You heard of it?" Artemis' furrowed brow answered the question. "You'll like it... for the most part. Of course, you might die... but if you live, you'll like it." He started to laugh, but the pain it caused made him stop.

"And if I don't like it? If I want to leave?"

"Well, you'll have to wait until your contract's up. You should know that, since you're a merc."

"I'm not a merc," Artemis said defensively.

"From where I'm lookin', you are, and the sooner you realize it, the easier this will be for you, Hatchet Guy."

"It's Artemis."

"Same thing," Jackal said as he began to stand. "On that note, I have some pain killers to swallow, so I'll see you around." He took a few steps heading away from Artemis but paused for a moment, turning back. "Oh, and if anyone asks for me, tell them I jumped overboard and died or something." With that he walked off, his steps ginger as he held his ribs.

Artemis just watched the man go before reaching for the rest of his armor and rising to put it on. He looked out on the water; his eyes reflected the blue of the waves, though a bit brighter, and he ran a hand through his hair. The short brown strands fell right back into place, as if nothing had disturbed them.

'I know a bit about Se'lutia,' Judicis, the sentient spirit in Artemis' bow whispered into the young man's mind. 'Survivors and refugees of The Demon Wars established the nation, but they've basically been isolated from the main continents since then. They're very detached and prefer to keep it that way.'

"That explains the rules about not leaving the ship," Artemis mumbled.

'I can't tell you anything about the current state of affairs sadly, but you can expect that things will be vastly different from what you are accustomed to; in fact, even what I'm accustomed to.'

"That's comforting," Artemis said with a sigh. "Well I suppose I could use a change of scenery."

Finishing up with his armor, Artemis began to walk across the open deck of the ship heading for the boiler room. The vessel, just over thirty meters wide and two-hundred-and-fifty long by his estimates, and massive by most standards, definitely meant that getting from place to place took some time; this of course meant that he had plenty of time to think.

The last two days hadn't been very informative. Most of his time had been spent either in his quarters, getting to know some of the other sign-ons, or in the engine room learning to understand how this ship really worked with Erieai's tutelage - which involved getting yelled at a lot. The woman, an eluvian, which looked much like an elf to the untrained eye, practically lived in the engineering quarters.

The young man wandered through the tunnels beneath the deck of the ship - countless hallways lit by brightly glowing rods of light. He had become familiar with the route and easily found his way to the engine room where Erieai worked as usual.

"Don't forget your helmet!" she yelled over the loud roar of the ship as Artemis walked through the door. He promptly turned as he entered, reaching up to the wall and donning what had been endearingly termed a hard-hat - a metal helmet to protect from flying objects, including wrenches.

"How'd you know it was me?" he yelled back.

"Because you're late!"

Artemis laughed, but she didn't hear him. He walked over beside her and she turned to look up at him, as he stood a full head taller than her. Her hazel eyes normally contrasted the bright red of her hair, but the endless grime running through it, as well as all over her other features, took all the beauty out of the working woman.

"So what's the job today?"

"Same thing it is every day," she said while wiping her hands with a rag. "Fix the shit that others break."

"Then let's get started," Artemis said.

"Including the shit that you break," she said with a scowl.

Artemis could only sigh.

[orphans]

Let’s see… laxatives, accelerators, metabolic stabilizers, mana enhancers... where the hell are the pain killers? Everything but pain killers? With a long breath, Jackal dug deeper into the medical pantry in his room, tossing bottles of pills carelessly behind him until he found the right one. A single experimental shake told him all he needed before he tossed the bottle off to the side as well. Of course it’d be empty.

A brisk rub of his hair proved useless in alleviating his frustration. Maybel is probably too busy with his trainees to make me any and I’m way past my limit with the medical team. Snapping his fingers and jumping up, Jackal quickly made for the door. Of course! Erieai still owes me a favor or two. She can make them!

With a new spring in his step, despite the aching pain, Jackal pulled open the hatch to his room and stepped out. Immediately he collided with someone small, white, and who sounded close to a squeaking toy as she fell over. A loud clank rang through the hall as Jackal looked up in time to see the small girl’s head hit the side of a pipe. Panic shot through the man, and despite the pain in his stomach, he pushed himself off the ground to check the girl.

“Ow…” was the sorry sound that dribbled out of the girl’s lips as she propped herself up. Jackal froze as he took in more of the features: long white hair, maroon eyes, russet wings and a pair of horns – demon horns. There was something supposedly important about her, but Jackal couldn’t remember. Not that he really cared either.

“Watch where you’re going will ya?” Jackal spat out. Idiot non-humans walking around in a daze. “Where are you trying to go anyways?”

The small girl shrank back from the venom and hostility in Jackal's voice as she mumbled, “Engineering?” It took a moment for the girl to roll the unfamiliar word out of her mouth and her demeanor made Jackal chide himself silently. Even if she was a non-human, it looked like a child and from the way it acted, probably was a child.

“Right, well it’s in the other way. You’re lost aren’t you?” The girl nodded. “What’s that? I couldn’t quite hear you.”

Looking as if she was on the verge of tearing, the girl nodded her head again and spoke up softly. “Yes, I’m lost. If it’s not too much trouble, could you help me?”

Partly flustered, partly guilty, and a whole helping of annoyed, Jackal stared at the girl. With a sigh, he shrugged his shoulders. “Fine, but only because I’m headed there myself.”


The trip through the ship was conducted in silence. Jackal was more than willing to show his annoyance whenever the girl tripped or stumbled over hatchways and lack of lighting in certain parts. Eventually, shame managed to edge into his heart at the last bend before their destination. “What’s your name?”

Surprise mingled into the girl’s worried features as she stammered out, “S-sophia…”

Stopping at the door to Engineering, Jackal rolled his eyes to the small girl. “You know your way now?” The girl gave a nod. “Good.” Twisting the lever to the hatch, Jackal opened it then waved to it with a smile. “After you.”

Smoke and heat drifted out with the scent of oil and other fumes, making the girl a bit hesitant. However, with Jackal smiling at her, Sophia took a deep breath and stepped through. Jackal, on the other hand, listened intently for the girl’s scream. When it never came, Jackal furrowed his brows, shrugged and followed behind. Odd... feels like a -

“You jackass!” was all the warning Jackal needed as the unmistakable whirring of a wrench in flight closing in on him reached his ears. Immediately, he reached and caught the wrench an inch away from his face.

“Ha!” Jackal shouted in gloat. “How do you like that, tin suck-” but he never finished as a second wrench collided with his chest and winded him.

[SirArtemis]

Artemis chuckled after watching the second wrench hit the injured man squarely in the chest. It wasn't a laugh out of malice, given that the man clearly had not yet recovered, but more of familiarity as he had experienced similar wrench 'attacks.'

A teenage girl hopped forward to Erieai, her white hair bouncing with every step. "How many times do I have to tell you to stay out of here?" Erieai yelled, grabbing hold of another wrench and readying it. "This is engineering, Jackal, for people who build and design and invent - you just break!"

Jackal coughed, clutching his stomach with one eye shut and the other barely open as he hunched over in pain. "The color blue... is pretty nice this season," he said through a cough and a grin that could pass for a wince.

Erieai narrowed her eyes at the man before turning to Artemis. "Watch Sophia. Show her how to adjust the release of mana pressure for the auxiliary turbines." She walked toward Jackal, passing Sophia as if it were a hostage exchange. The two stepped out of the room, leaving Artemis alone and confused with the white-haired girl.

"Hi," he said with a smile, reaching out his hand. The girl blushed shyly, looking away. “Right,” he said as he lowered his hand. "Did you hear what Erieai said?" The girl shook her head. "She wants me to show you how to change mana levels for the engines. Have you done that before?" Again she shook her head. "Alright, let me show you."

"Take this wrench," he said, handing her one of the many tools that Erieai kept handy for her aeronautics displays. "Now, you see this bolt here? You need to turn it left. It sticks sometimes so I might have to help you, but give it a try. You probably have to use both hands because it's a bit tough."

The girl took the wrench, and with an intense focus that didn't match her shy demeanor, she reached out with one hand and set the bolt moving. However, though Artemis had expected he would need to help the small girl, she had little trouble with a single hand. "Um..." Artemis began, a bit surprised. "Right. That's pretty much it. When you turn that bolt left, it releases the pressure of the mana buildup, and causes the auxiliary turbines to slow down. When you turn it the other way, it will increase the pressure and make them spin faster. Got it?" The girl nodded with a smile on her face. "Good," he said, returning the smile. "Now what else have you learned?"

“Um…” Sophia began, but Artemis waved her away.

“It’s fine,” he said, “I’ll just show you what she taught me at first. It’ll be good practice for me too.”

“Okay,” he began as he strode across the room to a weapon rack (emergency defense only, of course). “These are mana rifles, and the best part about these is that they’re small enough to work with.” He took one down, taking it across the room to a small workbench. He turned around, looking to where the little girl still stood and wondering why she hadn’t caught onto the obvious cue. “Sophia…”

“Yes?” she asked, a slight quiver in her voice.

“Sophia… I need you over here if I’m going to show you how the mana rifles work…”

“Right!” she said, jumping into action as she quickly went across the room to Artemis’ side.

He sighed and closed his eyes. ’I’ve never been good with kids…’ “Alright, so do you know anything about rifles? What they are really? How they work?” The girl looked at him for a couple of seconds before vigorously shaking her head, as if she remembered that he had asked a question. “Alright, so basically what you have is a chamber full of bullets, which are tiny little metal projectiles that come out of the gun very fast. Some guns use little explosions to make the bullets fly out, but these ones are special – these use something called mana. Do you know anything about mana?”

Again the girl shook her head, and Artemis laughed. “Don’t worry, neither do I. Apparently I’m not very good at handling mana, which is why I can’t really use this gun, but I can still explain how it works. Okay,” he began with a deep breath, “basically what happens is that you put a bullet in this chamber here and when the person holding the gun pulls the trigger here, assuming they have high mana handling, the bullet SHOOTS out of the gun, going down this long barrel part of the gun and flies at the enemy going super fast, many times faster than the normal guns that use plain explosions to make the bullets fly.” Artemis’ eyes showed his excitement. He admired quality craftsmanship and when learning about new methods and technologies, his inner child always found a way through.

Just then, an idea struck him. “You know what, I think you should see how it works.” He walked back to the weapon rack and grabbed a small magazine before returning to the workbench. He took out a single bullet from the clip and placed it into the chamber of the rifle. “Alright, so basically when the bullet is inside, you just point the tip at where you want the bullet to go and you pull this trigger, like this…” he said, and as he pulled the trigger the bullet shot out, but fell short of its mark, flying a dozen yards before sliding across the floor.

He couldn’t help but chuckle at himself, lowering the gun and staring at the projectile-gone-wrong. “Well, like I said, I’m not very good at it.”

The girl stared at him admiringly. “You know a lot,” she said.

Artemis scratched the back of his head and raised an eyebrow. “Eh, not really, just a little about the basics.” He looked at her gaze as it followed the gun with intrigue, and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. “Here, why don’t you try?” he said, filling the chamber with another shell. “Remember, point the tip at where you want the bullet to go and then pull the trigger.” He helped her aim, standing behind her and steadying the rifle, propping it against her shoulder. “Alright, on three. Ready?”

She nodded with the same determination from earlier and Artemis began the count.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Thre…”

BOOM!

As Sophia pulled the trigger, the barrel of the rifle exploded while the projectile attempted to make its way out of the end. The magical energy of intense mana pressure caused the weapon to overcharge and in effect discharge. The explosion that followed blinded the pair of them and the stinging and burning in Sophia's hands caused her to drop the weapon.

Jackal and Erieai rushed back into the room at the sound of the gun exploding, though Jackal appeared to have recovered somewhat from the wrench, as he looked to be in much less pain.

“What the hell was that?!” Erieai yelled, staring at the pair with the closest thing to fear that had ever made its way to her face. She stared down at the decimated rifle and then up to Artemis.

“I was showing her how mana rifles work,” Artemis said, blinking rapidly to try to discern the shape of the eluvian and human pair. “I didn’t know something like that could even happen.”

Erieai walked across the room, grabbing a wrench and smacking Artemis in the abdomen. “Did I tell you to show her how a mana rifle worked? Because I’m pretty sure I would know if I told you to show her how a damn mana rifle worked.”

Artemis slouched over, grasping his stomach as he tried to recover from having the wind knocked out of him and being blinded. Jackal couldn’t help but smile. The man waved Artemis over, and as Erieai returned to Sophia's side to check on her, he felt he could spare a moment. He walked over to Jackal, who stood grinning by the doorway, and as he made it there, he gave Artemis a pat on the shoulders.

"Hey, Hatchet Guy," he said with a whisper, turning his and Artemis' back to the others. "You know, we should stick together. You're different from the others, and I like that about you. Besides, almost everyone else in engineering is an eluvian anyways."

Artemis nodded out of politeness, not knowing what to say. "Right," he said, "I'll keep that in mind. I should get back to work though."

"You do that," Jackal said, giving Artemis a slap on the back. "I'll see you around, Hatchet Guy," he said as he turned to leave.

[orphans]

"Oh and one more thing, Hatchet Guy." Rounding on his heels, Jackal leaned in close and whispered quickly, "Try not to kill anyone, at least while we're travelling. They tend to shut down the ship for an investigation." Pulling away, Jackal waved carelessly again, "See ya at chow time."

A hearty yawn passed from the man a few minutes later as he strolled slowly down one of the many corridors. Wonder how my group is doing. Oh well, guess I'll hear if there are any issues at dinner. Fishing a small blue bottle from his pocket, Jackal unscrewed the cap to take a pill, and then placed it away again. Several crunches later, Jackal swallowed and smacked his lips a few. "Mmm, tastes like victory."

"What does?"

"Pain killers, Maybel," was the brisk answer as Jackal turned to face a man with deep chestnut hair and eyes. The man's face was still reminiscent of a boy's while an intricate knot tattooed in red ink told otherwise. "Want some?"

Maybel wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "You know I never take stuff like that. I prefer the magical fixes and potions I brew daily for those issues."

"Mhm... good luck brewing something for a wound like mine. Me? I'll take instant satisfaction."

"You know you'll die faster if you keep taking those kinda things into your body."

Jackal shrugged. "Maybel, as a front lines fighter, I'm not expecting to live past thirty-five."

A dry chuckle rose from Maybel. "Speak for yourself. I plan on attaining the title of Grand Magus some day."

Another shrug from Jackal demonstrated his disinterest. "Well it's nice that you have dreams of being close enough to suck on the Queen's tits. I'm sure I'd have a much higher life expectancy too if I was somewhere in the back waving my arms around like a maniac and making rainbows."

Maybel grimaced. "Ioaii assassins put a lot of pressure on us too, you know."

Scoffing, Jackal raised his palms up with indifference. "A few rats shouldn't be too hard to handle when the long ears set up their perimeter and all. That reminds me; I just got some kitty cats assigned to my group. Want them?"

Nervously laughing, Maybel looked past Jackal and behind his shoulders quickly. "No thanks. Still, we take losses even with the eluvian defenses set up."

"Sucks, but hey, we all knew what we were getting into when we enlisted. Anyways, did you want something or did you just feel like stopping me to talk?"

Blinking, Maybel scratched lightly with a single finger at his chin. "I don't even remember why I stopped you."

"I was popping pain killers."

"Right! No I didn't want anything..." Maybel began slowly. "Actually, have you seen a small girl wandering around on the ship? About this tall?" As Maybel said this, he held a hand a little lower than his chest."

"White hair, reddish wings, and demon horns?"

"They're not demon horns."

"Yeah yeah, and I'm really a gopher."

"You... wait what? No, seriously, have you seen her around? I think she got her schedule mixed around and went to go see Erieai instead of me today."

"Her name is Soapy or something, right?"

"Her name is Sophia, and I'm pretty sure she's a Skalu Hudie so show some respect," Maybel replied hotly. "I'm sure even someone like you knows what the Skalu Hudie are."

"That pipsqueak a Skalu Hudie? The fictitious race of world-enders that the Church of Mahana always preaches about?" Chuckling, Jackal jerked a thumb in the direction he had just come from. "Yeah, she just got blown up by a guy named Artemis down in Engineering."

The color drained from Maybel's face as he looked to the direction of Engineering. "She's... fine though, right?"

"A little crispy. You might want to head down there, just in case Erieai can't handle it." No other words were needed as Maybel took that as his permission to bolt down the hallway. Cupping his hands to his mouth, Jackal yelled after him, "You're not supposed to run in the hallway, mister Grand Magus wannabe!"

Slightly disappointed at not receiving a reaction, Jackal sighed and continued down the corridors of the Leviathan once more. I guess I could just go back to sleep. Or maybe I should go check up on the newbies... I mean, they are supposed to be my responsibility. A small grimace found its way to Jackal's lips. Fuck it, they'll be fine. Gotta take care of myself first and rest up to heal.

[SirArtemis]

"I'm sorry, I didn't know it would..." Artemis tried to explain, rubbing his charred hands and looking guiltily at the small girl.

"Oh no, it's okay!" the girl answered shyly, her eyes squinted in a tight and fake smile; it didn't help Artemis feel much better. "Really," she said, frowning at the realization that the man truly was ashamed, "I'll be fine. It doesn't even really hurt that much. Back home, the ...." She cut herself off before she could continue, averting her gaze and looking down.

As the pair sat down, Erieai scurried around, appearing anxious for the first time since Artemis had met her. She opened up desks, checked under equipment and all else while looking for some salve or bandages or something to help Sophia - not Artemis.

"What happened?!" Maybel shouted, rushing into the engine room. He wore the black uniform of other officers of the ship.

"Would you shut up?" Erieai yelled back, her head buried in a closet. "I've got this under control!"

The man ran over to the girl, lifting her arms, checking her features, noticing the burns. "Oh really? And how did you manage to let something like this happen if you have it under control?"

Artemis, guilt ridden, decided to step in. "That'd be me sir. I was..."

"He had her fire a bloody mana rifle, that's what!"

"You what?" the man said, turning a sharp glare toward the young man. Still, despite the guilt, he didn't back down.

"She went off somewhere to talk to Jackal after he mentioned how blue the sky was or something, and Erieai asked me to teach her what I had just been taught. They took too long so I wanted to teach her some of the basics I learned about mana rifles, and I thought firsthand experience would be best. But I didn't know something like that could happen! I've never seen it and I was never told of it!"

Maybel, clearly frustrated, also didn't care that much about what happened as much as just knowing that the girl was safe. "But you're alright, yes Sophia?" he asked her, his voice and look softening tremendously as he spoke.

"She's fine!" Erieai said. "Just take her to the infirmary and get her burns looked at. I can't find the damn salves and bandages I had around here. Haven't had anyone as stupid as this guy around for a while so I haven't had to use them," she said with a jerk of the head in Artemis' direction.

Artemis sighed, shaking his head as if the whole thing were ridiculous and over the top. She was barely burned. He had gotten worse from cooking over campfires.

"She's supposed to have been with me today, by the way," Maybel said matter-of-factly. "If she had been, this wouldn't have happened."

His words, though aimed at Erieai, seemed to sting at the poor girl. "But I... I thought..." A frown stretched across her face mixed with embarrassment and shame as she looked down.

Maybel realized the outcome quickly, trying to apologize. "Oh no, it's fine. Come on, let's get you to the infirmary and all healed up."

"Don't you use your magic on her!" Erieai said.

The man scoffed, clearly insulted. "I know plenty about magic to know that it can't be done, Erieai, but thanks for the friendly reminder. Just keep her away from the guns next time, will you?"

The eluvian woman rolled her eyes and folder her arms over her chest. "Just get out of my engine room."

"Gladly," he said. "Come on then, Sophia."

The two made their way out, Maybel shutting the door behind him with a loud thud and another sharp glare back.

"What the hell is all the fuss about over this girl?" Artemis said, finally alone with the woman.

"Eh, it's a long story."

"Well we spend a lot of time working so why not start at the beginning. I mean... this girl is just a mercenary for hire, right? Why the hell is the whole crew so anxious around her and taking extra special care over such a minor wound? She'll be fine in a couple of days at worst."

Erieai sighed, turning on her heel and going over to the work area, to which she gestured for Artemis to follow. "Look, let's just say it has to do with our home, our country, and religion, and leave it at that, shall we?"

"What, like this little fifteen year old is a matter of national security? Some messiah?"

Erieai paused at that, her eyes gazing upward as she let the thought linger for a moment. "Yeah, something stupid like that. Now follow me. And DON'T fucking touch anything."

[orphans]

"I'm still not comfortable with this. I'll see if I can pull some strings to get in the same unit."

"It'll be fine Jackal! Besides, I think it might be fun to be the only human in an all beastmen unit."

"That's the problem."

"Look, Jackal, these are good people. You just have to give them a chance."

"If you say so Tara..."

- - - - -

"Jackal Shavuk, thank you for reporting so quickly. I know it's hard to get back to Pretalia from the front."

"My commander allowed me emergency transport, Lord Verico."

"I see. Please, sit down."

"Something happened... didn't it, Lord Verico? To Tara?"

"... I'm afraid so. Mr. Shavuk, the infiltration squad was decimated. As the only living relative to a Mana Knight, we would like you to help us honor her memory."

- - - - -

I hate that memory. Opening his eyes, Jackal let out a heavy breath as he sat up slowly. Sickly cold sweat clung to his body - annoying him as he rolled out of his cot. A few quick prods at his stomach proved to be a bit painful, prompting him to grab the small bottle of pills off the nightstand. Two pills found their way into his mouth before he swallowed quickly. Wonder if Erieai can make pills to forget memories.

Three knocks sounded on the hatchway into Jackal's room, making the man groan out in irritation. "It's open!"

The door swung open and Pell stepped through quickly. "How are you holding up?"

Since when did he knock? "Better, but still leaning heavily on pain killers." Jackal held up the small bottle and shook it for effect.

Pell didn't react at first, but eventually settled for a displeased expression. "Why don't you just go for treatments with the healers? You know they can have you healed in a few days as opposed to a couple of weeks."

Jackal rolled his eyes. "You know I don't trust their kind."

Folding his arms across his chest, Pell's frown slowly turned into a smirk. "But you trust Erieai to make pain killers for you? She's eluvian too, if that's what you meant."

"I trust her enough. We have a history."

"Oh?" Pell mused as an eyebrow rose in skepticism. "You mean more than you just bothering her all the time and making a general ass of yourself in front of her?"

"Course, I knew her through -" but Jackal stopped as he closed his eyes. "Forget it. What're you doing here anyways?" A quick glance at the clock confirmed Jackal's hunch. "It's barely dawn."

"I missed you at dinner, and you never gave me that report. I was serious about that. Captain Elutu wants it. Trust me, you don't want a personal visit from him right now."

"What? Someone knock over his tea cabinet again?"

Shutting the door behind him, Pell whispered, "Look, something is bothering Tarolts and I'm not sure why he needs these reports. He wanted one from every single officer authorized to command a unit."

"Alright, alright, I'll get the report done."

The two eyed each other in silence and after what seemed like an eon, Pell cracked a smile. "I know you will. Think you'll have it by the end of the day?"

"Yeah, if I can find all of my squad."

With a shrug, Pell turned to leave. "If I was to guess, they're all mingling in the barracks. Today's Starcrest and I plan to make the most of it."

The day of rest huh? "You mean you're going to train more with Telaeve. Hoping to join the Mana Knights?"

Rolling his shoulders rewarded Pell with a few pops. "Don't be an idiot Jackal; a Mana Knight starts their training at eight years of age."

"Well hey, they might make an exception."

Pell gave a quick look over his shoulder and rolled his eyes. "You just want someone more relaxed as your commanding officer once we get back to the front."

"Worth a try. Anyway, I'm going to catch a few more winks."

A sigh passed from Pell as he opened the door. "You're hopeless."

"But I'm still alive!"

[SirArtemis]

'Day of rest, huh?' Artemis thought while sitting on the deck of the ship. He had left most of his equipment in his quarters, opting for some light trousers and a tunic over his typical leather armor - though he kept his magical boots with him, as well as Judicis and his daggers, Virtue and Justice. 'Seems like a bit more than just a day of rest.'

Out on the deck countless people seemed to be enjoying the day off, taking time to play some games, share some stories and, of course, gamble their wages. One thing Artemis always noticed was that when it came to taking someone else's money, discrimination was put aside - gold coins were all the same, regardless of whose pocket. Yet even though no one had been paid, they rolled the dice with their promises, flipped the cards of their futures.

Artemis didn't gamble.

With a sigh, he rose to his feet and walked toward the bow of the ship - a place that seemed to relax the young man and allowed him to distance himself from the recent memories of bloodshed in his life. He closed his eyes, letting the mist of the ocean cling to his face as the massive metal vessel tore through at full speed toward its destination - wherever that may be. The gentle rise and fall rocked the man into a daydream as the midday sun's warmth kept the ocean breeze at a comfortable chill.

So much had happened to the man in his last few years; so many things had changed. The people he had met, the battles he had fought, the lives he had watched fade away, and the memories he had forged - it all muddled together, clinging to the inside of his mind like a sticky smog.

'Artemis,' Judicis whispered. 'You must let it go.'

The young man opened his eyes, remembering that there was no privacy for someone who carried sentient magic.

"Let what go, Judicis?" Artemis said aloud.

'You let your memories control you rather than guide you. You mustn't let the past dictate your future - it must only shape it.'

"I'm fine, Judicis," Artemis said, speaking to the winds that carried his voice out behind him.

'You may lie to others, and even to yourself Artemis. But remember that I see the truth.'

With that, the bow went silent. Artemis rubbed his face, the mist and sweat mixing into a salty concoction that he spat out once he had finished. With a sigh, he rested his arms upon the rail of the ship and plopped his head down upon it, and just then, he noticed feet not far from his own.

"Who were you talking to?" the white-haired girl asked, her big red eyes staring at the man as if he were the one who didn't belong.

"No one, just talking to myself," he lied, and just then remembered the words of Judicis. "Damn it," he mumbled to the side, cursing himself.

The girl just kept staring, as if she wondered what made this man so strange. "It's okay," she said with a smile. "I talk to myself too sometimes."

Artemis smirked and let out a laugh through his nose, letting his eyes fall back upon the water. "Listen," he began, pausing for a few seconds before turning to look back at the girl. "I'm sorry," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't know it would do that."

The girl giggled, as if not concerned. "It's okay, it only hurt a little. Besides, I'm fine now, see?" She held out her hands to Artemis, turning her palms this way and that to show that they were healed.

"Still, I didn't mean to." Sophia saw the guilt on his face, but didn't know what to say to console the man. After all, it wasn't something she was used to. "Why are you here anyways?" he asked abruptly, taking her from her contemplation. "On the ship I mean. Why did you sign up?"

"Um..." she began, digging her toe into the deck of the ship and twirling it shyly. "I suppose I'm just trying to find my way again."

Artemis just shook his head at the ambiguity, both amused and saddened by the youth's talent in directing conversation away from specifics. "Seems the people on this ship are throwing a big fuss about you. A bit weird, don't you think?"

"Mmm, yeah, I suppose so," she said. "Though they're really nice, so I don't mind! I'm just trying not to get in the way or anything... I don't want to be a bother..."

"Heh, I think it'd take quite a bit out of you to make them think you're a bother. The way they treat you, I'd say you're worth more than everyone on this ship to them." The girl looked down, as if uncomfortable with what Artemis had just said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to... eh I just think it's weird, that's all. Not like it's your fault or anything..."

Artemis sighed, flustered with himself. It seemed the bitterness of his time with the bloodthirsty gunslinger, albeit brief, had left him shaken. Who knew that a couple of days with Victor Callahan and his six-shooter could make someone feel so angry?

"It's okay," she managed to say after a pause. "This is new for me too."

Another laugh before he set his head down on his arms again, closing his eyes. "We're not even a week into our journey."

"It'll be over before you know it," Sophia said enthusiastically. "And think of all the stuff we'll learn! Not just on the ship, but when we get there!"

"Do you even know where we're going?" he asked.

"Well, no..." she conceded, "but I'm sure it's full of new and interesting things!"

For a few minutes, they stood in silence together, looking out on the ocean and enjoying the warmth of the sun. Artemis couldn't help but worry about the girl, hoping that whatever happened that she would be safe. He couldn't imagine what he would do if he had to watch her die before his eyes.

"Well, I'm going to go get some lunch. People are heading down to the mess hall. Would you like to join?"

"Nah, I'll head down soon. Thank you though."

"Mhm!" she nodded enthusiastically, smiling at the man. "By the way, if you want to talk about what's bothering you, you can always talk to me! See you later!" she shouted as she ran off.

While Artemis' gaze followed her, he began to feel the smugness of Judicis' mood prodding through, as if proud that he had made a point that Artemis' past was nagging at him. To that, he had only one thought to return: 'Oh shut it, Judicis.'

[orphans]

"...and that's how I came to signing on for this job."

Jackal stared at the man across the table from him. Tall and lanky with a heart of gold, was all Jackal managed to eke out in thought. "So, Ian, you're saying that you're here because you want to watch out for those less experienced than you?"

"Well... when you put it like that, it makes me sound a bit like an overprotective big brother, but yes."

Rubbing his head in an effort to lessen his oncoming headache, Jackal managed a polite response. "You do realize that we're at war, and not just some skirmish, right?" Ian nodded. "Alright, just making sure you knew."

"Is that it for today? Jackal?"

"Yeah, go ahead and enjoy yourself. It's supposed to be the day of rest anyways." The man got up, gave a salute, and then wandered off. That left Jackal alone in a corner of the mess hall to sort through the brief notes he had taken on napkins:



Tall and huge was surprisingly meek, wanted to be called Tim. Just Tim. Fuckin weirdo and kept looking at anything remotely female that walked by. ANYTHING.

Tall and lanky has a heart of gold and might as well bleed puppies and cry rainbows. Says he was with the Corone Army for twenty years before going merc. Name is Ian Astead.

Short and round has rancid breath and can probably drink a bear under the table. Says he's got some strong blood in him, whatever the Nine Hells that means. Name is Loundo Pelegreen.

Scarface girl was a bit sensitive with why her eye is missing. She is pleasant to talk to though. Has a stone giant's grip for a handshake though. Name is Penny Inton.

Busty tops distracted me pretty much the whole time by leaning forward, but from what I did manage to hear, she used to be part of a cavalry unit as a lancer. Her name's Kazane Vices.

Curtain hairs is apparently an archer (who would have guessed that she could see under all that) and wanted to know if there was a library onboard. Name is Tatiana Westhour.

The obnoxiously happy looking one is excitedly morbid. She likes stabbing and killing things and says how every death is, "Like a miniature romance expiring before my eyes." (Pell, why the FUCK is she in my group?) Her name is Abigail Thorn.

The androgynous one is still questionable. Never got around asking for the gender (you can do that). Name doesn't help either: Teal Unatii.

Giant cat person was more interesting than I thought initially. Spent most of his life scouting and infiltrating. He might be useful for high risk missions or maybe just a rug.

Cat girl was adorable enough, but she couldn't stop meowing after every other word. A duelist by trade and joined because she thought it might be fascinating. Name is Kouno Yountoshi.


Jackal knew elegant words weren't his forte and that Pell would ultimately be rewriting most of his report. Still, part of him felt bad for putting so little effort into his task. Oh well. It's not that bad. A quick scratch of his head eased his doubts. Two folds of the napkin banished any thought of the task as Jackal then tucked it into a pocket. Looking to the bowl in front of him, he sighed as he swirled the cold soup with his spoon.

"Can I sit here?"

Glancing up with disinterest, Jackal eyed the small girl he had crashed into the day before. His gaze lingered on the oddities of the girl - horns and wings - for a while before he finally drew out, "Sophia right? Don't you have someone else to bother?"

Jackal's hostility made the girl shrink back a little as she clung onto the small bowl in her grasp for comfort. "There... there's no other table open."

A cursory glance around confirmed her words as well as catching a few dirty looks from those around him. With an exasperated breath, Jackal flourished a hand to the open seat. "Go ahead." The girl gave a nod then slipped into the seat across from Jackal with her soup. For a while, Sophia simply sipped quietly at the broth while Jackal stared - a fact that made Sophia squirm every so often in her seat.

"Is... is there something wrong?" Sophia managed to ask, but before Jackal even responded she flinched as if being whipped by his thoughts. The fight in Jackal slowly deflated as he watched her.

"No... not really." Considering what to say next was difficult. She was a blossoming girl that was certainly less than human and obviously more than lost. There was almost nothing that Jackal could even see to be common ground. "So... how are you going to spend your day of rest?"

Noticeably brightening, Sophia beamed a smile at Jackal and shifted her eyes around as if she was preparing to tell a secret. "Erieai wants me to go to engineering later. She's been teaching me to sing!"

"Sing, huh?" Jackal mused more to himself as his thoughts drifted. Reeling himself back, he found the small girl looking to him curiously. "What?"

"Do you sing?"

Jackal frowned and gave a snort of disbelief. "Of course I sing. Hells, everyone from Se'lutia can sing." Sophia blinked her eyes at the revelation and stared blankly at Jackal. "You didn't know?"

It was the girl's turn to frown. "Of course not! I haven't heard anyone sing yet!"

Jackal snorted again. "People sing all the time."

"No they don't..."

Opening his mouth to give a rebuttal, Jackal stopped and thought for a moment. "Right... this is your first week aboard and this is the first day of rest since you've been here. Mahana, I'm getting dumber by hanging around you non-human types."

"H-hey!" Bordering on offended and confused, the small girl considered her options before muttering out softly, "I... I was human I think."

It was the second time this day that Jackal opened his mouth and found himself unable to find something to say. There was something undeniably different about this... creature. "Wait a second... Erieai never invites anyone down to engineering during the Mana Festivals!"

Confusion reigned as the dominant feature on the girl's face. "Mana Festivals?"

"Mana Festivals," Jackal repeated as if she should know. "It's a two week long celebration where people sing and dance and frolic like idiots."

"Frolic?"

"... yes, frolic. Titan's balls, how do Maybel and Erieai put up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Your questions! They're so obvious that I don't know if you're just fucking with me or not!" Frustration at the lack of understanding was plain as day on Sophia's face, yet before she could ask a potentially embarrassing question, Jackal quickly added, "And no, I'm not going to explain anything else. If you want, go ask Maybel or Erieai."

Pouting at the man did little to change his demeanor, so Sophia slid out of her chair with her bowl in tow. "I'll ask Erieai. Maybe she'll even let you come too. It's a festival, right?"

"What? Why would I want to stick myself where a bunch of pointy ears are?"

"They're good people. You just have to give them a chance..."

Did she just say that? Jackal could only stare after the small girl, but when she finally turned a corner and disappeared from sight, he moved himself to give chase. Mahana's cruel if that's what it chose as Tara's reincarnation...

[SirArtemis]

Artemis skipped lunch, opting for a small condensed nutrition bar rather than visiting the lively mess hall and dealing with the noise and people. Instead, his feet dragged him along through the maze of incandescently lit hallways to the comfort of the engineering bay. He had only been there for mere days, but there was something comforting about busying himself with the mindless and repetitive tasks of maintenance.

He found his way into a small side room that seemed more like a closet - an add-on to the engineering bay itself. A single bulb of light hung above him as he sat down at the single steel table set against the wall, its surface scratched and stained from countless years of use. His hands worked autonomously, working through the same motions over and over as he repaired and cleaned the countless mana rifles that had been hung against the wall, each with a slightly different reason for not working.

He saw a list pinned to the wall in front of him, with random notes jotted down of all the everyday items that had been dropped off for repair. It seemed that Erieai had prioritized those to the bottom, but given his free time, he decided to take care of it.

He started with a bread-toasting fire-box that seemed to have metallic heating coils running along the interior of little slits on the top. He examined how it worked, saw what did not work, and worked his way to fixing the issue. Following the same process, he fixed the long line of items that had been shoved into a box beside the table into a corner of the small room. As he did so, between each project, he'd begin charging a new set of objects that had been drained of mana and needed to be refilled - a time consuming process and one that was deemed unimportant, as they'd more likely be replaced than recharged.

Eventually, the room became more organized and cleared of backlog. He placed the last set of weapons upon the rack beside him and simply leaned forward in the simple metal fold-out chair upon which he sat. With a dull thud, his forehead met the metal table, and he left it there for a long while, letting the dim light hover above him in the utter silence of the engineering bay.

His mind, now free to wander through the countless pathways of his memory, meandered along through all the death he had seen in his life. He had seen the death of his first partner, Tanya, die before his very eyes to protect him, as well as the countless other people who lost their lives trying to protect their home of Vardta. He had slain orcs for the sake of a mithril ore deposit, and even remembered the first one he had slain - the one who was simply alone by a campfire. He had watched the gunslinger, Victor Callahan, lay waste to men who simply were doing their jobs, even if the person they worked for was of questionable allegiance. Even those he had slain in the Citadel, despite their survival afterward, weighed heavily on him, as the death itself still occurred, even if later reversed.

There was some natural aversion to death in Artemis - one that ran farther than most people. It was not just the idea of ending life that bothered Artemis, but the waste of a life. What could be done in the span of a life that disappeared along with their spark, as their eyes shut for the last time? Could one ever be sure whether a person would inevitably create a positive of negative impact on the world around him? How should one ever decide which side to take in a war, and be sure that it was the right choice, when in the perspective of every individual, they are always correct?

Not everyone can be correct at the same time.

Artemis sighed, his breath fogging the metal surface of the table. The little patch of moisture grew and shrank, over and over, with every breath, and Artemis focused on it, hoping that the meaningless distraction would serve its purpose.

Then, he heard voices - familiar voices. He scrunched his brow, lifting his head up and listening intently to who it was and what they were saying. The words were muffled through the vent that connected the small closet to the other rooms nearby. He moved the metal chair to the wall, stepping on it and putting his ear to the opening grate so that he could hear better, but when he did, he did not understand what it is he actually heard.

"Singing?" he mumbled.

[orphans]

"Well well, even AF Captain Shavuk decided to come and see how we eluvians kick off the Mana Festivals eh?" Erieai managed with a haughty grin. "And to what reason do I owe this turnabout from a human?"

Usually, Jackal would have retorted with rude body language or racist comment. Instead, he was both out of breath from chasing Sophia and surprised to see Erieai waiting at the entrance... clean. And in a blue skirt? With a white blouse. "Who the hell are you?"

The bright hazel eyes of Erieai lit up in mirth as she laughed at the man. "I'll let you figure that out later. Though, I will say that I am surprised that you're actually here. Sophia just ran past saying that you're coming too."

"And you're okay with it if she said so?"

Frowning, Erieai stared Jackal dead in the eye. "And what do you mean by that exactly?"

"Every year this happens and the humans end eluvians never celebrate together. Why should this be different?"

A careless shrug rolled off Erieai's shoulder as she began to walk deeper into the room. "Eluvians never go to the human celebrations because they suck, and humans don't ever come to our celebration because they all think theirs is better." Tilting her head back to look at him, Erieai said with a small grin, "Or are you afraid of us?"

Jackal scowled and stepped over the threshold to follow Erieai. "I'm more afraid of this ship suddenly sinking than any one of you."

"Well, long as you don't start a fight, we won't sink. Remember, delicate turbines and engines and whatnots." Following a narrow path between various humming machines, the two soon entered a large room with a wide open space set with tables and a large stage against the far wall. Dozens of eluvian men and women were chatting and laughing while others were showing each other a new dance step. No one even paid Jackal any attention and those that noticed him only gave a polite nod, clearly more interested in their own distractions.

"Why do I get the feeling that I'm not the first human to join in?" Jackal mumbled as Erieai led him to an open table.

"Because you aren't." Erieai tilted back in her chair and waved for a server's attention. "Some of the mercs we pick up feel more at home here in the grime. Grezicks from back home, like Pell, come down here as well during the festival."

"You're shitting me, Pell comes down here?" A quick look around did little to settle Jackal's curiosity while his keen hearing did little to pick out any familiar voice in the commotion around him. Turning back to face Erieai, Jackal was again surprised to see a smile. This time, it was a smile nearly large enough to split the woman's face in two.

"Pell comes for the stronger drinks. You and I both know we need something harder than the wimpy dregs they pass off as spirits up there." As she finished, an eluvian waitress stopped by and slid each of them a tall tankard of brew before bustling away to another table. Without waiting for Jackal, Erieai picked her mug up and drank deeply.

Not to be outdone Jackal did the same in an effort to match the small eluvian woman. From the corner of her eyes, Erieai saw his attempt, spurring her to down the whole mug. Jackal followed suit and both slammed their mugs down. Erieai gave a sigh and look of content while Jackal did his best to look normal, despite the intense burning in his mouth, throat and stomach. Another minute and Jackal could hold out no more and began coughing.

"First time's always fun isn't it?" Erieai laughed as she looked to the stage. "Finally! Looks like they're about to start."

"Start what?" Jackal sputtered between a lingering cough. Erieai only shushed at him while the crowd quieted down to hushed murmurs. The crystal lights about the room dimmed until just the stage was barely visible. "The hell's going on?" Jackal whispered.

Darting her eyes between the stage and Jackal in obvious agitation Erieai hissed, "How eluvians officially start the Mana Festivals, now shut up and just watch."

Quietly, a melody of voices drifted out as the curtain rose over the stage, revealing a rather large chorus. Jackal raised only an eyebrow in skepticism.


<"Slowly our land awakens from sleep,">


At the first words of the song, lights above the stage filtered down to reveal at least twenty eluvian women and men dressed in traditional garb. Split evenly, each half flanked the central figure, Sophia, who was also dressed in similar fashion with fabrics of blue and green.

While surprised, Jackal only frowned at the sight of the small girl. "She knows Farien?"

"Jackal."

"Yes?"

"Shut up and watch."


<"And for a long, long time>
<"It sees that it is still unforgiven.">


<"Oh Mahana! Please hear our song!">
<"Please give an answer to our wish.">
<"And forgive the sinful children of Se'lutia!">


Stepping forward, Sophia opened her arms to the crowd and sang her words with unmistakable clarity.


<"For the future we wished is still an illusion,">
<"Yet we are determined to realize it before our last...">
<"So please, Mahana, believe in us!">


<"Please remember the promise you have made,">
<"Oh Mahana, please remember the promise made!">


<"For years our songs have shook the ground and trembled the heavens,">
<"For years our voices have roared in unison,">
<"For we know should it reach you">
<"It should hold the emotions that have sustained us">
<"The songs encouraged by the pains of our hearts.>


<"Please remember the promise you have made,">
<"Oh Mahana, please remember the promise made!">


<"In my dreams I can see life in ephemeral blooms,">
<"In my dreams I can hear the excited voices of joy,">
<"In my dreams I can feel the brilliant sun on my skin,">
<"In our dream, our voices are ringing through the world,>
<Through all of Se'lutia and Althanas!">


<"Oh Mahana! Please hear our song!">
<"Please give an answer to our wish">
<"And forgive the sinful children of Se'lutia!">


<"For years our songs have shook the ground and trembled the heavens,">
<"For years our voices have roared in unison,">
<"For we know should it reach you">
<"It should hold the memories that have sustained us">
<"That you promised one day to forgive us...>


As the final note faded away, it was replaced by the estactic cheers of the crowd. While the lights returned, the performers took their bows and exited to the back of the stage. Jackal, on the other hand, watched with a pained expression - something that Erieai took note of, but decided not to comment on. Instead, she whispered, "Hows that for an opening?" while an announcer began to rattle off other planned events for the night.

Jackal jerked to attention as he cast an eye over to Erieai with indifference. "Impressive I guess, I mean, I haven't been to one of these celebrations for a while."

Erieai nodded politely to him as she flagged down another two tankards for the pair. "What about Sophia? Not too bad for three days, if I do say so myself."

"... she's bright enough to pick up Farien in three days," he muttered as the announcer stepped off stage and the noise began to rise.

Erieai laughed quietly as she took a drink. "She doesn't understand a word."

"What? She could sing with that sort of clarity without knowing what any of it means?!"

For a long time Erieai stared at Jackal as if deciding what to say. In the end, she gave a sigh and shrugged. "You don't need words if you understand each other."

"That makes no sense," Jackal huffed as he rolled his eyes. Catching the shape of someone familiar, he narrowed his eyes and then grinned a little. "Finally, nice to see another human in here." Throwing up an arm Jackal bellowed over the chatter, "Artemis! Over here!"


Text wrapped in < > is Farien, the "old tongue" of Se'lutia
Green is everyone's voice
Blue is eluvian men only
Purple is eluvian women only
Red is Sophia's (Azza's) voice only

[SirArtemis]

Artemis had followed the singing and found his way to the engine room where countless eluvians had gathered for an impressive spectacle where even Sophia took center stage. The vocals were extraordinary and lifted Artemis in ways he never thought music could. He was sad that it had ended and felt it was cut short.

When he heard a familiar voice calling for him, his brow furrowed and he turned to see Jackal sitting at a table with Erieai. Though the woman's brightly colored and cleaned-up appearance was bizarre, it definitely felt welcoming.

"Hey Jackal, hi Erieai. Very nice dress."

"Well thank you kindly." Artemis restrained a chuckle at the bizarrely polite eluvian, chalking it up to the likelihood that she was imbibing quite a bit of alcohol. "You look slightly greasier than normal though." Artemis looked down at his hands and armor and noticed that the work he had been doing had left him a bit messy.

"I should clean up," he said while looking down.

"Don't bother, sit down," Jackal said, pulling out a chair while he sat in his own.

"That was quite a show," Artemis said, taking the seat that was offered to him. "I didn't know Sophia could sing like that."

"She's been practicing," Erieai said with a proud grin.

"More like a lucky gamble," Jackal snickered, causing the eluvian to give him a glare.

"It's only been a few days though," Artemis added. "Is this what you've been teaching her while you taught me mechanical stuff?"

"Maybe..." Erieai said. Artemis could only sigh at the response.

"So what were they saying?" Artemis asked.

"They're singing religious stuff," Jackal answered quickly.

"Not exactly religious stuff," Erieai clarified. "More like legends and such."

"Religious stuff," Jackal repeated.

"Legends about what?" Artemis said.

"End of the world shit," Jackal said. "You know, like every other religion."

"Oh shut up Jackal," Erieai said, waving over the server. "Here, have another beer instead of talk." As the woman arrived, Erieai grabbed two drinks and began reaching for a third, but Artemis waved her off. "It's not gonna kill you," Erieai said with a shrug. "So do you want the short version or long version?"

"That depends on how long the long version is, which one you feel like telling, and how much time you have to tell it." The waitress tossed Artemis a rag with a wink, and Artemis gave an embarrassed smile as he began to wipe his hands.

"We've got all day, unless something tries to kill us all," Erieai answered.

"Well that's comforting. I guess the long version then. Start from the top."

"Long version then. Are you familiar with the Demon Wars?"

"Not really, no."

"Well, in any case, Mahana was some entity that lead survivors from all over to Se'lutia. It's almost universally accepted on Se'lutia that Mahana is a divine prophet of some kind."

"Okay. I also know nothing about Se'lutia really, except that it's where we are headed."

Erieai motioned for Artemis to wait a moment while she took a quick drink. "Se'lutia, from what legends say, used to be a fertile island continent. I don't know if it's true. But I do know that half of it is frozen and the other half is lush jungle with raging animals the size of small houses."

"Sounds like the perfect place for a vacation, and pretty bizarre to have such extreme conditions so close together. That is, assuming the island continent isn't massive... is it?"

"Slap together Corone, Scara Brae and Fallien into one land and that's about the size of Se'lutia. As for the extreme conditions..." Erieai trailed off and cast a quick glance over to Jackal, who showed no interest in the conversation and was more occupied with the dancers on stage. She turned back to Artemis with a shrug. "Se'lutia is the wasteland for magic in Althanas. We get bombarded with enough magical energy that it makes the Raiaera capital look like a cheap parlor trick." She paused to take a sip of her drink. "Also why we have the Mana festivals," she added quickly, "though some also call it the Festival of Lights."

"That's a pretty big island. But I don't understand. You have Mana Festivals because you're a wasteland for magic? You celebrate being a wasteland?"

"We weren't always a wasteland, I think. The Mana Festivals are supposed to be asking Mahana to forgive us, though I'm not sure anyone remembers what we did. Now, we just use it as a weeklong celebration to release built up mana inside our bodies back into the world."

"Um... wait... built up mana? What does that mean? Does everyone have it? ...Do I?" Artemis' expression showed the slightest concern, which caused Erieai to chuckle and take another sip of her drink. She glanced up and noticed that a small band had taken their place on the stage after the show and had begun playing music. Some in the room decided to dance, so Erieai decided to down the rest of her drink and grabbed Artemis by the arm.

"Dance with me," she ordered the young man.

[orphans]

"But-" Artemis began as a protest, but Erieai only laughed and dragged him quickly behind her into the crowd. Jackal rolled his eyes at the sight and looked to the beer before him. Taking a quick sip, he closed his eyes as the music increased in tempo and picked up into an upbeat rhythm. Soon, the entire room was swaying with the movements of a multitude of dancers while those on the sidelines clapped in time to add to the cadence.

"Not going to join in?"

Opening his eyes, Jackal looked at the person who had addressed him and gave a snort. "I'm perfectly happy just resting my ass here, Soapy."

Sophia's face turned into a slight frown before it quickly changed into a smile as she slid into an empty seat. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"How'd I do with the song?" Jackal eyed the young girl before him with an incredulous stare as Sophia returned it with anticipation. "I mean, you understood clearly enough, right?"

Jackal rolled his eyes and looked to the crowd of dancers in an effort to find a sort of escape, and instead, only saw Artemis being lead about haphazardly by Erieai. With a sigh, he returned his gaze to Sophia and offered a lopsided grin. "Sure, was clear enough. Erieai tells me you're a natural at it, even though you don't understand crap about what you're singing."

Confusion rolled through Sophia as she shrank back into her chair. Her lips fluttered between something resembling offense and joy, eventually settling on the later. "Thank you, I think. But, I do understand, a little."

"Yeah?" Jackal asked with indifference as he searched the crowd again.

Sophia nodded her head as Jackal turned to face her again. "May I ask you something, Jackal?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Do you hate me?"

What should have been an automatic hostile response from the Jackal was lost in his throat. The sincerity in Sophia's eyes and fear of the answer in her voice shamed Jackal. In the end, he muttered out, "Yeah I do. You remind me too much of someone, that's all."

"Oh..." was all Sophia managed as her shoulders sank. In an effort to distract herself, she looked up to the stage to catch the final act of a slow song being played by the band.

"Look, Sophia," Jackal began as the girl snapped her attention back. "Don't think I'm worried about you or anything, but be careful when you get to Se'lutia."

"What do you mean?"

Scratching the back of his head in frustration, he glanced around quickly before saying in a low voice, "There are a lot people in Se'lutia who would kill you because of what they think you might be and even more who would revere you as a holy symbol." Leaning back, he caught sight of Erieai and Artemis returning from the floor and gave a snort. "Hell, someone you know already does."

A look of confusion settled on Sophia's face as Erieai suddenly grabbed onto her hand. "Come on you, let's go!"

"W-where are we going?" was all Sophia managed before the eluvian dragged the small girl away into the crowd.

Standing up with a stretch, Jackal motioned for Artemis to follow. "I've got something to show you up on deck."

"What is it?"

"Don't worry about it."

[SirArtemis]

The pair of men made their way through the bowels of the ship before emerging into the late afternoon sky. The sun was descending from the heavens toward its peaceful slumber out west; passengers crowded the starboard of the ship to watch the relaxing spectacle. Yet what really surprised Artemis as the crisp ocean air tickled his face were the dim streaks of pale blue that drifted off the deck of the ship and into the air.

"Wow..." the young man muttered. "What's that?"

"Just follow me," Jackal said, ignoring the spectacle like an everyday occurrence.

Artemis' eyes quickly moved between the skies and Jackal as he followed the man away from the crowd that stood upon the open deck. The pair made their way to the center of the ship where a ladder allowed them to climb the command tower. Step by step, the metal rungs rang in a dull manner as their boots pushed off toward the sky. When they finally reached the top, Jackal plopped down facing south toward the front of the ship and Artemis sat beside him.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Artemis asked.

"Later. First, you seem like you still have questions." Jackal's voice trailed off as the wind caught the notes.

"What do you mean?" Before Artemis even finished asking, Jackal pointed up to the streaks in the sky. "Oh..."

"They're releasing excess mana," Jackal said as his eyes fell to the deck below and the countless people singing and dancing. Many of the crew had made a circle down below and every so often someone would enter the center to show their dancing skills. At the end of their show, they would conjure up a ball of energy before them and release it, causing the sphere to drift up and off ahead of the ship. Others chose a less showy method and released their mana off to the side, as though simply taking care of their business. "If they don't do it, they'll explode."

"What?! Explode?" Artemis said with a look of horror.

"They lose their minds, go crazy, kill everyone. Some just start sobbing. Either way, it's always bad."

"But they don't actually explode, do they? I mean actually explode."

"Well, you could be the first to find out if you want." Artemis' eyes opened wide in horror. "I'm kidding..." Jackal said, pausing a few seconds before finishing his thought. "Sort of."

Artemis frowned while watching those below, wondering how they managed to conjure and release their mana. He had learned a bit about the substance during his few days on the ship, but he still had no idea how to control it, even though some resided within him as well.

"You likely don't have enough in you to really be concerned Artemis, so relax," Jackal finished.

Artemis sat for a few moments and watched in silence beside Jackal. The man had taken out a knife and started playing with it, flipping it in the air and catching it. Artemis just sat, kicking his legs against the side of the tower gently while picking at a piece of chipped paint at the top of the command tower. He felt like a boy at a carnival for the first time, watching all those strangers have fun, but he couldn't bring himself to their level.

The deaths he had witnessed at the hands of Victor Callahan were still fresh in his mind and stung at his very core. Despite knowing it was not his fault, the desire to go back and fix it clung to him like some desperate childish need. No matter what he had been through in his life, the acceptance of the past still gnawed fervently on the edges of his mind and refused to let him forget. The death of Tanya, of the victims at Vardta, the victims of Victor Callahan - his life had changed so much in just the past few years since he fled his home town for the frozen north of Salvar.

"Hey Jackal," Artemis said without turning to the man.

"Yeah?"

"You've been in wars before, right?"

"Yeah."

"How do you deal with everything you see after it's all over?"

"I just don't think about it."

"What if I can't stop?"

"Drink more."

"I don't like to drink."

At that, Jackal laughed and caught his knife again. He turned to Artemis and gave him a slap on the back. "Then you'll learn to love it. It's like liquid amnesia."

Artemis sighed and gave a half-smile. "I don't want to forget any of it. I just want to learn to deal with it. You know, accept it and move on, learn from it, that sort of thing."

Jackal put his knife away and leaned back on his arms, looking up at the pale blue streaks with a look of admiration for the first time. His face took on the closest thing Artemis had ever seen to pain. "Sometimes, you just gotta live with shit."

[orphans]

"And if we can't live with it?"

A frown painted itself across Jackal's lips. "Then it'll kill you, slowly. Rot you from the inside." Stretching his arms behind his back, he was rewarded with a series of pops. "People will tell you that shit happens for a reason in this world. It doesn't. Things just happen. Fucked up things and there is nothing you and I can do to prevent them sometimes."

For a length of time, silence was all that passed between the two while the sun slowly sank into the calm waters of the horizon.

"Well, how do you move on with your life?"

Jackal sighed as he leaned back, casting a long look to where they were headed. "Truth is Artemis I'm not over anything; never had to be, actually."

"What do you mean?"

"Well... Se'lutia's been locked in war for as long as anyone can remember." Shooting a quick glance over, Jackal gave a lopsided grin as he continued. "We might have a tenuous peace every now and then, sure, but that just means more blood in the next fight."

"So you just hold it all in?"

"Nope! I yell and scream whenever I feel like it. Or go bother Erieai."

"How does that help?"

"Have you ever had a pissed off eluvian trying to weld your face? Trust me, takes your mind off everything except what's happening at that moment."

One chuckle finally arose from Artemis. "I guess I can image how dodging a welder would keep your mind off things."

A small chime suddenly sounded out before the monotone voice of the communications operator spoke out, "All primary team captains, please report to the mission room."


A weary sigh drawled out of Jackal's mouth. "I guess duty calls." Crawling over to the ladder with little enthusiasm, he stopped for a moment and looked back to Artemis. "Just don't hesitate in a fight... the other person is trying to kill you. If you don't strike first, it's your grave at the end of the day." Without further ado, he held each side of the ladder and slid down quickly.

"Hey, watch it!" Nearly landing on Pell, Jackal did a quick roll before rising to his feet with his arms spread out for an encore. Pell on the other hand just shook his head. "Come on let's see what all this is about."

"What the hell's the hurry?" Jackal scoffed as he stepped in time with Pell.

"Remember those reports I had you do?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I know why we did them..."

Silence flowed between the two as they walked while song and laughter rose from everywhere else. Eventually, Jackal broke the tension quickly with, "Want to clue me in?"

"It's just a hunch, but I think Maybel might be right for once."

"About what?" Rounding a set of stairs, the two men continued down a hallway.

"Sophia."

Jackal rolled his eyes. "Right and the end of the world is coming. So we're going to have a meeting about it?"

"Who knows," Pell answered as he banged on the iron hatch to the mission room three times.

Gears ground against one another until the hatch opened with a soft breath of air, allowing the two men to file in. A single large table dominated the center with nary a chair to rest on. Instead, everyone crowded around the edge of the table. In the center, a large map of Se'lutia lay sprawled out. All along the walls, more maps were pinned in place.

"You're all here now? Good, we can begin." Tarolts shuffled a few papers together and after taking one for himself, passed it along. "I'm sure by now, we've all seen a small girl aboard the ship, calls herself Sophia, correct?" A mumble of acknowledgements sounded from those gathered.

"Sir," Maybel began hesitantly, "These papers are reassignments, correct?"

Jackal took a look at the sheet in front of him and confirmed Maybel's words. Before he could say anything though, Erieai gave a snort and spat out, "The hell are we being reassigned for?"

"My sentiments exactly..." was all that Pell offered as he folded the sheet and tucked it away without even looking at it.

Tarolts only shook his head and turned his eyes over to the man standing beside him. "Telaeve, if you would."

"Certainly." Casting his steel-grey eyes about the room he pulled out a small splinter of metal shaped like an arrow head and tossed it onto the table. It spun for a moment before righting itself on its point.

Jackal took a quick look around the room and saw the same level of confusion from everyone except the captain and Telaeve. "Alright, I give up. What is that?"

"Mahana's Shard. Pieces of metal infused with the very essence of the original Skalu Hudie."

Maybel frowned, Pell had a distant look of interest, while Erieai was picking at something underneath one of her fingernails. Jackal just looked back and forth between the Shard and Telaeve. "Apparently, since no one else is going to ask the obvious, what does this have to do with us being reassigned?"

Telaeve gave an unnerving grin at Jackal. "Mahana's Shards are supposed to point us to the Skalu Hudie. We've never actually had one work until now."

"High Command is also aware of this," Tarolts said as he motioned for Telaeve to take the Shard away. "We're reassigning you all into one unit."

"To protect this supposed Skalu Hudie? This Sophia?" Pell mused with a small grin as he looked over to Erieai.

The eluvian woman just rolled her eyes. "I don't see what good it is to put us all together as one unit."

Telaeve and Tarolts looked to one another before Telaeve added hesitantly, "There is one other, actually."

At this Jackal threw up his hands in the air in mock despair, "Well fuck, there's TWO now? It really is the end of the world."

A stern glare from Tarolts had Jackal concede defeat as Telaeve coughed lightly to clear his throat. "Artemis Eburi. It's faint, but the Shard reacts to him as well."

"You're shitting me," Jackal gaped.

The whole time, Maybel continued to frown and the mention of Artemis only made the man furrow his brows deeper. "Are you sure? That man has an abnormally high mana concentration, but other than that, doesn't seem to have anything that would indicate him as a Skalu Hudie."

"Does that piece of metal even work?" Erieai asked quickly. "I mean, this is a lot to decide with something that's never worked before."

"High Command is certain after we've given the description of both of them." With a tired breath, Tarolts shrugged. "Look, I don't like this any more than all of you, but whatever the High Command says, goes."

"Once we reach the mainland, you will all be under the command of Oswald Ironmane," Telaeve said with almost an air of jealousy.

"Ironmane?" Erieai asked and looked to the others, puzzled.

At this Maybel spoke quickly with alarm, "I thought Oswald Ironmane was dead!"

"Whoa whoa, who the hell is Oswald?" Jackal managed to say as he fumbled with his sheet of paper to find the name and description.

"Oswald Ironmane is one of the great heroes of the Seoyruun-Roncoro conflict and distinguished himself numerous times. The last time he was on active duty though was during the Second Seoyruun Civil War," Pell said with a bit of worry. "Why is he being chosen as our commander? I don't really hear much good about him these days."

Telaeve held his eyes closed for a moment before opening them to look Pell dead on. "You're all being assigned to Oswald, because despite his current state, he is still the strongest Mana Knight we have in Seoyruun. The man lost both his wife and daughter in the Civil War, so try to be sensitive about it," Telaeve finished as he gave Jackal a venomous glance.

"Still doesn't answer why you're having us all in one group..." Erieai muttered.

"Because, Miss Ezraehie, we need our strongest and brightest to safeguard these two. You've all fought together as well, so you know how to work with each other." With obvious agitation at how the conversation was going, Tarolts motioned towards the door. "If there are still questions, find me at my quarters."

After Tarolts and Telaeve had left, Jackal was the first to break the silence. "This actually might be fun."

"You're kidding me right?" Maybel said as he looked to Jackal.

"I'm more worried about working with Oswald," Pell grumbled. "From what I hear, he's not right in the head anymore."

Erieai just simply tossed the sheet of paper onto the table and began to head for the door. "We can't change something decided by High Command. I don't know about ya'll, but I'm going to go enjoy myself while I can." Maybel and Pell both shrugged and soon followed suit, leaving Jackal leaning against the wall, still studying the sheet of paper.

"Oh this can't be good..." Jackal murmured to himself as he read the final notes about his future commander:


Oswald Ironmane remains one of the most decorated war heroes to date and was commander of the foreign mercenary brigade, unit seven. Oswald is credited with the destruction of the Old Pretalia Castle, signaling the end of the Second Seoyruun Civil War. He is the sole survivor of his division at the end of the Second Seoyruun Civil War.

Crumpling up the paper, he tossed it onto the table and exclaimed to no one in particular, "Well! We're officially fucked." Yet, even as he left the room, Jackal could feel unease in his stomach and it wasn't his wound for once. Everyone knew what happened to Old Pretalia Castle; it exploded and leveled nearly everything in a twenty block radius controlled by the insurgents. He just hoped that history didn't repeat itself this time around.

Until then, drinking himself into stupor sounded like a good idea.

[SirArtemis]

After Jackal had left, Artemis sat atop the command tower for a long while watching the crowd below continue their celebration. Hours passed and slowly people began to filter inside, ending their evening. All the while the only other voice in Artemis' thoughts was that of Judicis.

He spent his evening reliving the last few years of his life, carefully and chronologically recounting every event that had led him to abandon his childhood home and all that followed that decision. His disagreement with his father lead to his journey north to Salvar. His encounter with an orc there lead to his first battle, and soon after that to meeting his closest friends. It was amazing how much those four friends had become key to who he had now become, barely years later.

Judicis was a gift from Axel, the human bowyer who had sold the young man the weapon at an insane discount, though the sentient spirit had influenced the man as well. Artemis had fallen in love with Jay, the female dark elf of the group who was already more than a century old. And who could forget the Norlond brothers - the fiery-haired dwarves who had become his employers and mentors in the world of metalworking.

Later, his newest and most eclectic friend was key in helping Artemis come to terms with his past. Daros the wizard, a contact of Jay, had transported Artemis back to his home town to face his father and learn of his past. With their support he found the courage to settle things with his father, and now he had his family back - including finally knowing what truly happened to his mother. The thought caused him to look down at his left hand and the engrained magical tribal markings that ran along his hand and mid way up his forearm.

Who had he become? A boy who had grown up hammering away and overworking the hell out of a steel dagger now wielded two masterwork mithril daggers he had crafted himself, both enchanted with astonishingly potent magic. He wore a bracer upon his left wrist that could instantly change into the form of a bow, which contained the sentient magic of the spirit Judicis who guided Artemis constantly. His boots, his trinkets, the ring he wore, even his very being was comprised of magical energy. He was now a trained and very skilled warrior, equipped with enough tools to make him a very versatile and lethal weapon against any who opposed him; and to a warrior of virtue, as Artemis was, there was always much opposition.

After the mental journey through his past, a single thought resonated within his mind that had been rekindled by the words of Jackal earlier that evening:

"People will tell you that shit happens for a reason in this world. It doesn't. Things just happen."

Maybe Jackal was right. Maybe life was just a series of coincidences that brought you to a destination, and there was no way of knowing how things could have gone differently. Maybe helping Victor Callahan, the gunslinging stranger Artemis ran into at a bar, and then being forced to flee Radasanth only to end up on this ship was complete coincidence - just like the rest of his life.

Or maybe...

[Revenant]

Full Rubric / Full Commentary requested.

Plot: 25

Storytelling (9) – While this thread took place in the middle of a series, it didn’t do much to move the plot of that series forward, at least not until the very end. What it did, and it did it well, was to introduce the cast, setting, and general atmosphere of the story in such a way that it grabbed attention and invested the reader in the characters and overall plot. It was certainly well established in a solid storyline.

Setting (7) – Both of you did a very good job of getting the right atmosphere for a large ship without straight up just giving the dimensions. The verbage used while on deck and the casual references to ladderways and other tight interior spaces really gave this an authentic feel. There was only one point that I felt some contention with and that was the Eluvian’s hall for the opening ceremony for the Mana Festival.

“Following a narrow path between various humming machines, the two soon entered a large loom with a wide open space set with tables and a large stage against the far wall.”

Generally the engines in a ship are attached directly to the propeller shaft, which has to be in the water to make the ship go. While this ship might be different, being a magical fantasy construct and whatnot, no deviations from the normal are mentioned in this aspect which leaves me with the default impression of a normal engine room; down low, close to the water, and without much room around it. While not completely unrealistic, it made me frown enough that you didn’t get a full score in this category.

Pacing (9) – The only real portion of the thread that didn’t feel smoothly contiguous was the beginning of post #7 when Jackal is finishing up his dreams and waking. Still, while not prefaced anywhere, this was placed in such a way as to only give the thread a minor bump in the flow.

Character: 21

Communication (7) – There were really only two points in this thread where the dialogue didn’t feel like it was flowing naturally. Those instances were the discussion between Jackal, Erieai, and Artemis during the Eluvian’s Mana Festival opening ceremony and the discussion between the primary team captains near the end of the thread. In both of those areas, the exposition got in the way in the flow of the conversation.

Action (7) – For the character of Artemis there was only one area where his actions really stuck me as off, and that was the scene where he and Sophia were left alone in the engine room and he was asked to tutor her in what little he had learned and instead he decided to start playing with the mana rifle. From what you’d put together, Artemis doesn’t strike me as the sort of person who would handle a weapon lightly, especially not handling something volatile like the rifle to a youth.

The other point that lowered your score in this category was Erieai and her penchant for throwing wrenches. The act seemed too wacky and out of synch with the atmosphere for the rest of the thread. It’s such a clichéd concept, and the idea of throwing heavy wrenches around (multiple at once in case someone has the gall not to get hit by them), really doesn’t mesh with the rest of what was presented towards “delicate turbines and engines and whatnots.”

Persona (7) – What really leapt out at me here and lowered this score was Jackal’s reaction to getting hit by Erieai’s wrench as he entered the engine room. He is a character with an extremely racist point of view, and yet somehow Erieai has pushed past that and earned a grudging respect if not pseudo-friendship. Even so, there are times when his racism gets the better of him when he is interacting with her throughout the thread. On top of it all, he is in some pretty serious pain and has just recovered from a nearly fatal wound when Erieai throws not one, but two heavy wrenches at him. Ok, so that’s what she does, I can accept that, but his reaction is simply to continue with what he was doing. There’s no malice in him, but his attitude is playful as he catches the first wrench and it’s hard to reconcile that given the situation he’s in.

Prose: 22

Mechanics (9) – I found one area where Mana Festivals wasn’t properly capitalized. Strangely, I didn’t have to actually look for it as I just happened to notice it.

Clarity (7) – The smoothness of your writing made everything feel like it fit together, making this an easy, relaxed read that I didn’t have to force myself to sit through. In particular, I liked how you used unconventional names and made allusions to a larger world outside the scope of this thread, especially one outside of the standard Althanas realm of influence. But just as this helped give a distinct feel to your writing, it also had a downside. While reading those things were pleasant, there were too many thrown in which actually detracted from the story. The two places in particular were, sadly enough (which I say because they were otherwise enticing scenes), the description of the Mana Festival and the introduction of the previewed Oswald Ironmane. With the first, it just felt unnatural to have everything laid out at once in the way it was. Instead of feeling like a historical explanation it read like someone putting all the information out at once just to have it laid out. With Oswald, it was honestly this part: “Oswald Ironmane is one of the great heroes of the Seoyrunn-Roncoro conflict and distinguished himself numerous times. The last time he was on active duty though was during the Second Seoyrunn Civil War.” The lines were spoken so casually and yet the importance denoted by them really felt llike they needed a bit more history to them. Otherwise the name dropping is just cluttering an otherwise smooth thread.

Technique (6) – The lower score here is frankly due to the song in the middle of the thread. Personally I completely dislike having songs written out in a story, since without the actual music to make the song real it’s just words. In these situations I have a tendency to just check out and skip to the next portion of the actual story. This is my personal preference however, and while it would have affected your score here somewhat, I wasn’t going to have my tastes knock your score quite so hard.

That is, until I got to the song’s color “legend” at the end of the post describing which colors were which singing parts. Why couldn’t you have actually put that into the story? When Azza (Sophia) is singing write about how her voice rang out like sparkling crystal? Describe the low, somber bass reverberating through the room as the eluvian men sang their parts. In separating the story into parts, you actually had the opportunity to tie the singing of the song into the story, which was far more disappointing than the song itself.

Wildcard: 5

TOTAL: 73

orphans gains 1022 exp and 125 gp.
SirArtemis gains 1095 exp and 125 gp.

[Silence Sei]

Exp/Gp Added