The second life.

[Amber Eyes]

"You only live twice:
Once when you're born
And once when you look death in the face.”
― Ian Fleming, You Only Live Twice

[Amber Eyes]

A soft voice whispered in her ear, “Who are you, Kyla Orlouge?”

It was the same way she had woken up each night since Akiv returned home. She would rise; sure someone was in the room, only to seem him sleeping peacefully on his bed near the back wall. She would wipe her eyes, trying to separate the dreams from reality before beginning her day.

She threw back the heavy comforter and stretched her lazy limbs. Her room came into focus as she sat there, her head still heavy with the remaining weight of sleep. The expansive space filled with every luxury a young woman could dream of seemed to never quite satisfy her hunger for value or meaning. Her eyes glanced over the ornate sitting area, three overstuffed black chairs with red accent pillows and a child-sized tent for when Akiv began to study. She stared at the artwork upon the walls, some she made herself, pictures of Akiv or the gardens beyond Ixian Castle. Others were from professional artists, signed and dated, with a personal message to the girl. The bed she sat on was covered in the finest of cloths and was easily large enough for an entire family to comfortably share. The mahogany side tables held figurines that were costly enough to feed that family for many years, and her bookshelves against the far wall would be the envy of any library.

Through a doorway lay Akiv’s playroom, where he would live once she could bare to wake without him in view. Already the boy had amassed enough toys to share with the entire continent, blocks and toy trains, balls and miniature instruments, neatly lined against the walls. Through another door lay the lavatory, with a massive bathtub and unlimited options of scented oils.

The mystic kicked her legs, energy finally filling in the empty places that her rest had left behind. She hopped off the bed, her silk nightgown falling to rest near her dimpled knees. A few steps carried her to the large walk-in closet that held hundreds of dresses, each tailor made to fit her frame. She ran her fingers delicately over the silks and cottons, her mind picturing each one as though standing before a mirror. She selected a simple blue dress, one that matched her eyes and gently pulled the straps of her nightgown from her shoulders, allowing the silk to pool at her feet. Kyla pulled the soft cotton frock over her head, the material bunching near her chest before she pulled it down. She looked in the mirror as she grabbed a brush from the armoire, running it through the soft strands of hair that lay out of place.

A little voice reached her ears, the gentle mumbling of a child fighting to hold onto his dreams. The girl smiled, taking one final look in the mirror before she made her way to the child’s bed, pulling the covers back and looking down at the one thing that made her feel complete. He opened his sleep blue eyes and smiled at her, just as he always did. She leaned in and kissed his smooth cheek, a giggle filling the air as she lifted his shirt to tickle his belly. He pulled her hand away in a fit of laughter, “That tickles.” Kyla laughed as he pulled his shirt higher, exposing his stomach, “Do it again!”

And that is what she did.

[Akiv Orlouge]

I don’t understand much about life, but I know one thing. Sometimes adults pretend too.

Every day my mom pretends that she’s happy, but she really isn’t. Sometimes when I’m supposed to be asleep I hear her crying. I try real hard to be good all the time, but it doesn’t seem to matter. She still cries. Peiter says it’s because I don’t have a daddy, but grandpa Sei says I don’t need a daddy. He says I’ll be a great warrior one day. I’m not sure I want to be a warrior, but I’m glad he thinks I’ll be a good one.

Did you know that there are twelve kids my age in the castle? Pieter is my favorite. He is my best friend, and we play together all the time.

Anyway, back to my mom. She’s really pretty, no, really. She’s really pretty. Grandpa Sei says my grandma was pretty too, but I never met her. Mostly I stay with Grandpa Sei, because my mom is always traveling. Sei says she’s a hard worker, Peiter says she’s crazy. It doesn’t matter much to me; I just wish she was home more.

This morning she woke me up with a tickle fight, she always wins at tickle fights. Mostly because I can’t tickle when I’m laughing. She took me down to breakfast where I at sausage and buttered toast. Buttered toast is my favorite food in the whole world. I watched as mom looked across the room and I tried to see what she was looking at, but there wasn’t anything there. She does that sometimes. I made a joke and laughed as hard as I could, and she started laughing too. I feel good when I can make her smile, even when it doesn’t show in her eyes. She walked me down to the school room where Mr. Aimer gave me a pen and paper and led me to a table. I sat down before I remembered I hadn’t given mom a kiss. I ran back to her and hugged her tight as I could, when I pulled back there were tears in her eyes.

“Why are you crying?”

She gave me that smile she always does when I say something smart, which I hadn’t. “I just love you very much angel face.”

I scrunched my nose, pretending I didn’t like the name, which I do. “That’s a silly reason to cry.”

“I suppose it is Akiv.” I kissed her on the cheek and made my way to the table again, writing the number four over and over again. I know how to write the number four because that’s how old I am, this was going to be an easy day. I watched as mom spoke to Aimer before leaving the class. I hate when she leaves, but I know she’ll be here to get me when school is over, so I guess its okay.

[Amber Eyes]

She made her way through the castle halls, passing room after room of people who seemed to know exactly what they wanted from life. Kyla had never quite understood how one would make that decision. Sometime she felt like the mixture of magic inside her explained perfectly who she was. Two powers, two opposites trapped in the same veins, constantly passing but never quite touching, fighting for supremacy in a battle that could never end while they survived. And if the powers come together--Boom, everything is gone.

Kyla drug her hand along the cold marble, the smoothness giving her twisted heart the slightest bit of comfort. As she reached the stairwell an image came to mind. Jensen quickly rounded the corner, Azza doing her best to keep up, laughing with only her smile peeking out from the hat she wore to cover her tiny horns. Stephanie appeared moments later, feigning frustration, but unable to hide the smile in her eyes. The moment was so real, so heartbreakingly true that Kyla crouched with her head between her knees, fighting to catch her breath as a sob overtook her.

All these years Kyla had searched for that feeling of family. Her childhood had been lonely, only Xavior to keep her company, and he was unable to share in her hopes and dreams. When she found Sei she hoped to find peace, but instead felt forever stuck beneath the glass floor of his and Anita's relationship. The addition of Emma and Ella should have given her some comfort but their bond kept them at arms length. Then there was Jensen, the biggest asshole to ever grace Ixian Castle, and one of the best men Kyla had ever known. His heart had never been hers and looking back on it hers had never belonged to him either. She had wanted it to though, she could see that if he ever loved her it would be all she ever needed. She had even tried to destroy his marriage, but his heart proved to be just as good as she known it was and he chose the one he was destined for. The first time she held Akiv she just knew that everything would be okay, he would fill that empty hole in her heart that she'd been forcing pieces in for years. And he was perfect. Every touch of his tiny hand and each smile made the world a little bit brighter. Sunlight doesn't cure the broken though, it only shines lights on the cracks. She had tried to be strong for him, but as always she fell apart.

The mystic didn't know how long she cried, just that some of the guards pulled her to her feet, guiding her up the staircase. She quieted, allowing herself to be led wherever they might take her this time.

[Akiv Orlouge]

I knew he was there before I saw him. I always do. Grandpa and me have a sort of link that is pretty cool sometimes. He can feel when I'm sad or happy. I can tell when he is nearby. Right after I felt him Aimer called my name. I stood up and stared at the floor, I always hate getting pulled out of school, even if the other kids think its cool. I see Trinity stretch her foot out as I get near and I jump over it, turning to stick my tongue out at her. She always tries stuff like that. She always wants me to chase her when we are in the courtyard, but I don't want to. What would I do if I caught her? I really might, I'm pretty fast.

I turned back to the front of the class and there he is, wearing his fake smile. Did you know that all adults have a fake smile? It really is silly. Kids aren't dumb. I can tell when you are pretending. He waved at me, another thing he never does when everything is okay. His eyes, blue like mine, don't seem happy. I grab my bag from the hook on the wall and my folder from Aimer. He pats me on the head, then again on the shoulder. I smile, sure that this must mean he thinks I'm a big kid. I head to the doorway, once again looking up at grandpa Sei. He holds out his hand and I take it, squeezing just so I can feel him squeeze back.

[Amber Eyes]

When she awoke she was in her quarters her muscles felt lazy. It was a familiar feeling, one of Aislinn's concoctions to help soothe her when she had an episode. She couldn't remember the details, but flashes of memories came with each blink of her drowsy eyes. She had most certainly punched a man on the staircase. There had been another scuffle outside the door before Sei finally appeared. He had sent the men away, and held her as she wept. Yes, Sei had given her the drink. Kyla sighed, he would be with Akiv by now. She had broken yet another promise to the living because of the ghosts in her mind. A gentle knock on the door made her jump, her body quickly rewarding her for moving with a newfound stubbornness. She pulled herself to her feet, feeling as though each leg weighed a ton. Kyla removed her amulet, allowing her body to rejuvenate. As she lay the weighted jewelry down she stretched lazily and shouted for the visitor to enter.

The handle turned slowly and a head of brown hair appeared, followed by blue eyes and a freckled nose. By the time the mouth showed itself there were voices in the hallway.

"Oh go in!"

The door rocked back and forth a few times before the head disappeared only to reappear a second later followed by three bodies falling to the floor in a heap. Elbows were thrown and giggles were heard before the trio finally pulled themselves to their feet only to burst into laughter. Kyla smiled.

Ella's face lit up, and eager to continue the act took a grand bow, her yellow braids falling in front of her face. She nearly toppled with the gesture and the mystic finally let a small giggle escape. Ella took the moment to act, running to her sister and pulling her into a bear hug. Kyla lifted her into the air and tossed her gingerly onto the large bed where she quickly disappeared into the mountain of covers.

Emma rushed to the center of the room, "Ella! Kyla needs to rest, we shouldn't even..."

"Oh shut it Emma, Kyla needs to loosen up and have a little fun!" The brunette joined the fray.

"And since when did you know anything about fun Anita?" Emma let out a laugh.

"It's fine Emma, really." The mystic sat herself down, pulling Ella close and smiling at her younger sisters. "I needed that today."

Anita and Emma joined the others on the bed, bouncing on the oversized mattress and making themselves at home. It was something they did often, talking about classes and the future, the occasional discussion of boys. Ella would occasionally throw in an 'eww', and typically some sort of pillow fight would start. Some things don't change when it comes to sisters.

[Akiv Orlouge]

I am only a tiny bit aware that my pen is moving in my hand. My eyes are firmly focused on the sun outside the window. There is still time.

I glance at Grandpa, who has for the better part of the afternoon attempted to keep a smile on his face as he goes about leading the army. He catches me watching him and quickly stands, making his way around the desk and sitting a few feet in front of me with his legs folded. He looks me over as his ‘voice’ reaches my mind.
”Would you like to go somewhere? I can take the rest of the day off and we can go do something just us. Perhaps into Radasanth for some shopping or to the Citadel?

I scrunch my nose. Grandpa hates shopping and thinks the Citadel is for the bloodthirsty. Usually it takes tons of begging for a trip in to watch the fights.

”I don’t need anything and maybe…maybe it’d be best if we stick around for a bit. I glance towards the doorway, hoping with all I have that she’ll be there. I try to hid my disappointment when all I see are is Tobias heading down the hallway.

”I noticed your armor looked a bit snug the last time we practiced. We could go to the shops, see what we can find. He watches me expectantly and I do my best to stay composed.

”My armor is okay, Grandpa. It’s a lie and we both know it. I can’t move my arms well in the leather sleeves and it barely reaches my belly button, but mom bought it for me and I am not ready to let it go just yet. ”I should probably sit here and wait, just in case.”

He sighs, closing his eyes just for a moment. His face is full of sadness and I want nothing more than to tell him I’m okay. I know that only a bit of his grief is for me though. Most of it is for the daughter he loses each time she falls apart. We stare at each other for a moment, each of us trying to find the hints of our shared pain in the other’s features.

He looks away, forcing his smile once again and patting me softy on the back as he stands. He walks to the window and opens it, bringing in the scent of daffodils and distant rain. I inhale, holding on to the smell as though like everything else in my life there is someone waiting to take it away.