View Full Version : Colorinas (Timothy's First Adventure) (Solo)
OOC: I would be happy to read any comments about this story. If you have any comments PM me with the Title "Colorinas"
The night was quiet in Colorinas. One of the many moons, the red one, was full tonight. The green one was new, the blue half, the orange and yellow quarters, and of course, the purple one was its normal smile.
You can always trust the purple one to bring us light, Maroon thought with a smile. She looked back at the form of the sleeping traveler she had picked up off the Red Beach. It was a Yellow. They were known to be the wisest of the Colorins. It's strange, thought Maroon, shouldn't all species of Colorin know that a primary beach that is not your color will drain you of all but enough to live? She looked at the Yellow again. He stirred. Maroon stood up and walked over to him. That was surely a sign that he was waking up. Man is he hansom, She thought to herself looking down at the Yellow. What are you thinking, you just met the guy. She thought shaking her head. The Yellow stirred again. She looked him over hopping to find a spot of black on his clothing for maybe the hundredth time. Hopping that he was injured so that she could see him without his shirt. or, She thought smirking, his pants. even though this was one of many times she had looked she found what she was looking for, a small black spot in the leg of his pants. She couldn't believe that she missed it before but then saw that it was too fresh to have happened on the beach. Tapping his pocket that was on the leg, she felt something long and sharp. She went pail. I can't believe I had forgotten to check if he had a knife or something before setting him down. She quickly removed the yellow knife from his pocket and examined it. There indeed was the black blood that all colors had. She felt sick. She was the reason for him getting hurt. but at least I can have an excuse to see him in his underwear, She thought trying to comfort herself. Not even that thought comforted her. She got to work removing his shirt Because it's in the way of the pants. she thought to herself trying to come up with an excuse for what she was doing. She removed the shirt and examined his body. He was strong but thin at the same time. He had a nice six-pack, his arms were strong, but he wasn't a body builder. No, he was more like a fit athlete, No extra bulky muscles. His shoulders were broad as well. He was the Perfect man without his shirt on. After looking him over one more time, she moved on to the pants. She had to be careful not to remove his underwear because that would be too much, she thought to herself. Was she surprised when she pulled down just his pants to discover that he doesn't wear underwear. She blushed then started to search for something to hide his area then stopped. I have already seen him so why does it matter if he's naked while I work. I'll put some new cloths on him from his pack when I'm done. she thought with a smile as she turned back to the Yellow. She looked at his leg muscles and saw that they, just like his arms, were strong but not super bulky. She took a White Medical Kit out form her drawer. White could be used on all Colorin. She took the Peroxide and then poured some into the cap. It was white. She dumped the cap out onto the cut. The Yellow screamed in his sleep but didn't wake up. He was still too drained from the beach to. She looked up at his face. She felt sad that she was hurting this hansom Color but she had no choice. She went back to work she dabbed a clean cloth she had taken from the medical kit and dabbed at the wound. Then she started the process over again 4 more time before there was no more bubbling. After the wound was clean, she took a roll of white gauze and started wrapping his wound tightly but not so much that it cut off his circulation. After wrapping the wound in three layers of gauze, she took some hairpins and put them over the end to keep it tight. There she thought as she looked at her work.
"You did a good job," a soft whisper said. She jumped then looked at the face of the yellow. He was awake.
She blushed then asked, "How long have you been awake?"
"About two layers ago," he whispered with a smile.
He is still weak from the beach. she thought then remembered that he was still naked. Blushing again, she quickly went over to the bag in the corner and looked for some pants that wouldn't put much pressure on the bandage, but to no avail.
The Yellow looked at her and smiled. He knew he was naked but, since she had already seen him, what's the big deal. Besides she's a nurse, she must have seen other men hasn't she. Then he looked at himself for the first time since he woke up. He gasped; he wasn't human anymore. He was the same color as his hair. Everything else was the same but his color was different. He struggled to get up but fell back on the bed.
Hearing the bed squeak Maroon looked back at him and saw him struggling to get out of bed. That's when she saw his eyes. They weren't yellow like most Yellow's, they were silver like a Grey's should be. She stood there fixed on his eyes until what he was doing came back into her mind. "Stop," She said in an authoritative voice, "you can't stand yet. You still need to regain your strength." She ran over to him and forced him back onto the bed. "Besides," She continued, "you have a nasty cut on your leg. You shouldn't move till it heals."
The yellow looked at her then at his leg that was just wrapped. He had completely forgotten about it when he noticed his change. What happened that I got hurt. He thought to himself trying to remember. The last thing he remembered was leaving the Dimension Portal and exiting on a beach and his energy leaving him. Did I fall onto my knife he thought with a sigh. "Okay," he said and reluctantly laid down. "Do you happen to have a mirror?" He asked.
Maroon looked at the Yellow as if he was strange then grabbed the mirror off the wall. "Here," she said. The Yellow looked into the mirror and saw that it indeed was just his skin that changed. He still had the same long small nose, his silver eyes, and his short flat hair. He sighed He seems relived. Maroon thought.
The Yellow looked at her then smiled. She then remembered that he was still naked and headed back to the bag to continue to search for his cloths. He watched her and thought Why is she so intent on finding me clothing when she has already seen me?
She returned with some pants and started dressing him. After he was dressed, she finally asked him a question she should have asked as soon as he woke up, "What is your name?"
The Yellow looked surprised. He then tilted his head to the left and looked up as if he was racking his brain then said, "You know it isn't polite to ask someone their name without giving their own." I can find out about their naming traditions through her name. If it is just a weird name I will tell her my real name, he thought.
Maroon looked at him again and thought He sure is weird. "I'm so sorry, my name is Maroon. What is your name?" She said.
Maroon, a name of a color. Timothy thought, She also has maroon skin. If she is maroon then I should be... "Gold, my name is Gold."
Gold, what a wonderful name. she thought, I have a feeling that is not true. "I just saved you. Why would you lie to me?" she asked.
How did she know I was lying. "Fine, I am lying my real name, is Timothy." he said, "I would like it if you just call me Gold though when we are in public."
She looked at him even weirder. I have never heard the name Timothy before but it is a wonderful name. He would stick out if I called him that so it's understandable that he would want to be called Gold. "Okay," she said, "Why did you lie to me at first?"
"That is a private matter that I wish not to discuss.," he said bluntly.
"Okay, but I will find out eventually." Maroon said.
"We'll see," Timothy said.
"Maroon, are you home yet?" They heard a man calling her.
"Shoot, it's my dad. He'll kill me if he finds out I've been home alone with a man for the last 8 hours." she said the look of fear on her face.
"I've been asleep for at least 7 hours?" Timothy asked with a frown.
Maroon nodded and walked towards the door. "I will go and talk to him before he sees you.," she said opening the door. She looked at him and he nodded. She turned back to the door and left. As soon as she was gone, Timothy fell asleep.
After leaving the room Maroon went down stairs yelling, "I'm here dad."
Maroon's dad looked up the stairs as she came down. She hugged him and he hugged her. "How was the beach my little angle?" he asked still hugging her.
"Dad... To... Tight" Maroon said between gasps.
"Sorry dear," He said releasing her.
"It was good." She said after catching her breath.
He looked at her and asked, "Only good? What happened?"
"It just isn't as much fun without my other friends.," she answered.
He looked at her and knew there was more to it but decided to leave it. "Where's your mom and brother?"
"I think mom is with my aunts and Crimson is at Ruby's," She said the last word with an attitude.
"Why do you hate Ruby so much?" Her father asked with interest. "She is a nice girl."
"I don't hate Ruby. I just hate the fact that you let my 16 year old brother have a girlfriend, but not let me, your 18 year old daughter, have a boyfriend.," she said angrily.
"We've been over this, you can have a boyfriend when you are ready." Her father said.
"When I am ready or when you are ready?" She asked angrily. Her father was caught off guard for this was the first time he had ever had her talk back like this. "Dad, I am 18, if I wanted to I could have left already like my friends did to their parents. If I wanted to I could leave right now but I don't. Please Dad, just grant me this request. I would like to be able to at least date a guy." She asked pleadingly.
After thinking it over a bit and looking into her eyes he finally relented. "Fine, but I must meet him before you can date him."
Her maroon eyes shined with such happiness that they would blind you 50 miles away in the daytime. "Thank-you Dad," she said happily and gave him a hug.
I hope I'm doing the right thing, he thought.
"Oh Dad," Maroon said remembering Timothy upstairs, "I found a Yellow on the beach today. He of course was passed out and I brought him here. He had a cut on his leg so I bandaged it. I think you should meet him since he needs to stay a couple of days to heal."
"YOU BROUGHT A MALE HERE?" Her dad yelled and ran up the stairs. "WHICH ROOM IS HE IN?"
"He's in the guest room resting. Please calm down. He could be asleep."
Maroon's father ran into the guest room and saw Timothy sleeping there. He walked over to the bed and looked at him. He indeed was a yellow, and he was defiantly male. He doesn't discriminate color but he defiantly didn't want any male taking his daughter from him. "Get out," he said softly to his daughter as she entered the room, "I want a private word with him when he gets up." She reluctantly left him. Maroon's father looked at the man again. I won't let anyone take my daughter from me. he thought as he pulled a chair over to the bed, sat down and waited.
Maroon's dad fell asleep around midnight. He slept all night and woke up at White Sun (Equivalent to 9:00). He looked up and found the bed still occupied with Timothy awake looking at him. He jumped, tipping the chair over.
"Are you okay," Timothy asked still looking in the general direction of Maroon's dad.
"I'm fine you just startled me is all." Maroon's dad answered.
"I startled you?" Timothy asked with a laugh, "Imagine waking up in a place that you don't know and seeing a giant red person sleeping next to the bed. Now that was a start."
Maroon's dad laughed deeply. This kid was funny. Maybe I won't kill him after all, he thought then said, "I need to know more about you before I can let you stay here."
"Okay, what do you need to know?" Timothy asked looking at the big Color.
"Let’s start with your name." Maroon's dad answered.
Didn't I go through this with Maroon? Timothy thought then said, "My name is Gold," Timothy said, "and what may I call you?"
Maroon's dad looked at Timothy then said, "You may call me, Rusty.," he said with a smile. He is polite too. he thought.
"Nice to meet you Rusty, Is there a reason you slept at my bedside all night?"
He can get serious when he needs to. I really like this kid. So much so that I think if my daughter wants to date him, I will let her. Did I just think that? He thought.
Timothy looked at him funny and asked, "Are you okay Rusty?"
"Yes," Rusty said calmly, "I'm fine, Just doing some thinking. The reason that I stayed here last night was so I could talk to you to find out what happened yesterday between you and my daughter." Timothy blushed a deep yellow. Rusty noticed this and looked concerned. "What happened?" Rusty sneered concerned that this man and his daughter might have done it. He was not far off.
"Well Sir," Timothy said politely to try to hide that he was nerves, "I had gotten decent sized cut on my leg, and she had to bandage it so..." he paused to analyze what was going through Rusty's head.
"Go on," Rusty pushed sensing that it was something bad but not to the point of entry.
"Well sir the gash was on my lower leg but you can't just roll up someone’s pants to treat such a wound." Timothy said
"So she removed your pants to heal the wound and saw you in your underwear?" Rusty asked.
"Not exactly sir. My shirts, as you can probably see covers my pants and can't be rolled up so she removed that first, then she went to my pants and removed them but..."
Rusty's eyes furrowed, he knew he wasn't going to like what he was about to hear.
"I don't wear underwear because it..." Timothy continued but was stopped by Rusty
"MY DAUGHTER HAS SEEN YOU NAKED?" He screamed so loud you could hear him throughout the town.
Timothy nodded, "Yes sir, though I didn't see anything myself." he said trying to calm down the obviously angry dad. "She was so good with the gauze and wrapping that I thought she was a nurse. Please calm down."
Rusty was seething inside. His daughter who he cherishes so much has seen a man naked. He wasn't going to stand for this. "MAROON, CORNELL, I NEED TO SEE YOU IN THE GUEST ROOM, NOW!" he called angrily.
Maroon rushed into the room as did Rusty's wife Cornell. "Yes," they both said together. Seeming to know what this was about.
"CORNELL DID YOU KNOW THAT OUR DAUGHTER HAD SEEN THIS MAN NAKED?" Rusty asked
"She told me last night about what happened so, yes dear," she answered calmly
"DID YOU GIVE HER A PUNISHMENT?" Rusty asked
"No need to dear, she was innocently going to do first aid when she removed the pants to find out that he doesn't wear underwear."
"INNOCENT? MAROON, WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME?" Rusty asked.
"BEFORE YOU CAME RUNNING UP THE STAIRS, DAD! YOU NEVER LET ME FINISH! I WAS NERVOUS THIS WOULD HAPPEN IF HE TOLD YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME TALK! she answered angrily
"MAROON! YOU DO NOT YELL AT YOU FATHER LIKE THAT!" Her mother scolded
"Sorry Mom, but I'm angry at the way he treats me. I'm no longer 10, I'm 18, I need to make my own decisions, but dad won't let me." Maroon apologize
"And I agree with you dear but you still need to respect your father." she said
"YOU AGREE WITH HER, THAT I SHOULD LET HER DO AS SHE WISHES?" Rusty yelled at his wife.
"DAD," Crimson yelled entering the room. He noticed Timothy on the bed but ignored him. "WHY ARE YOU YELLING?" he asked suspecting it to be because of Timothy.
"BECAUSE YOUR BIG SISTER, HAS SEEN THIS MAN NAKED!" Rusty yelled at his son.
"THAT'S ENOUGH RUSTY, LEAVE AND CALM DOWN! AFTER YOU DO YOU CAN COME BACK INTO THIS ROOM!" Cornell yelled.
"But," Rusty said.
"NO BUTS, YOU ARE SO ANGRY YOU ARE YELLING AT YOUR SON WHO HAS DONE NOTHING WRONG NOW GO! Rusty reluctantly left. As soon as he was gone, she turned toward her children. "I would like you two to go down and make our guest some breakfast, while you do that I will have a talk with him," she said. Once Maroon and Crimson left she turned towards Timothy.
"I know that you probably introduced yourself to my daughter and husband. My name is Cornell. What is your name?"
"You are the first one to tell me your name first. My name is Gold." Timothy said.
"Really? I'm sorry about that Gold. I will have to talk to them after we are done talking." Cornell said with a smile.
"It's quite alright." Timothy said with a grin. "Your family is entertaining to say the least."
"Yes they are," Cornell said smiling back, "though normally Maroon wouldn't talk back to her father. I wonder what has gotten into her," she said puzzled.
"I hope I'm not the reason." Timothy said.
"Well, it doesn't matter. She needs to learn to stick up for herself, but in a way that is polite." Cornell said.
"Honey can I come back in?" they heard Rusty at the door.
"If you are calm then yes." She said turning towards the door.
Rusty walked in calmer and more relaxed. "So what is going on in here?" he asked.
"I was trying to find out his personality through talking," she replied. "He seems to be polite and well mannered. I say we should let him stay here until his leg is better and he can find his own place to live."
"I couldn't possibly..." Timothy started.
"Now, now," Cornell said turning back to Timothy, "you have nowhere else to go and we can't let you go out and get hurt again now can we."
"At that we can agree." Rusty said surprising both Timothy and Cornell. "I thought about what you said and I think your right. It was an accident that she seen him and we can't punish anyone for an accident. But," He said sternly, "If you do anything to my daughter indecent or break her heart you best hope I don't ever see you again. Got it?"
"Understood sir." Timothy said, then went to sit up, but only made it half way before falling back to the bed.
"You'll need more time before you can sit up by yourself Gold." Cornell said to him sweetly and sat him up propping the pillow so that he could stay up.
"If that's true could you possibly get me a wheelchair." He said weakly since that last effort had taken a lot out of him. "I can't stand being in one place for too long."
"In a couple of days you'll be able to get out of bed and walk around." Cornell said, "But if you really need to move I shall get you a wheel chair for tomorrow."
"Thank-you," he said then there was a knock at the door.
"Come in," Timothy said naturally since it was his room.
Maroon came in to the room with a tray of food in her hands and a smile on her face, which disappeared when she saw that her parents were in the room as well. Hearing him answer had brought up hope that he would be alone and she could spend some alone time with him. She had even sent her brother down stairs to clean up after he had knocked on the door and opened it for her.
“Ah, your breakfast is here.” Cornell said to Timothy as she stood up and crossed the room. She motioned with her eyes for her husband to follow. Rusty of course was reluctant but obeyed following his wife out the door giving Timothy the evil eye as he passed the bed. Timothy gulped then turned towards Maroon as she came up to him with the tray. She put it down in front of him. He looked down at the food and smiled. It looked like a regular meal but a lot more colorful.
“I didn’t know what color of food you like so I got you a little bit of everything,” she said.
“It all looks delicious,” Timothy said with a smile. Maroon blushed as Timothy tried to pick up the spoon but it slipped from his hand and fell back into the bowl of “cereal” that was in the center of the plate. Darn, he thought looking at the spoon I can’t even pick up a spoon. He tried again but with the same results. He looked up at Maroon who was giggling
“Having trouble?” She asked between giggles. He put a pouty frown on his face and looked down. She stopped giggling and looked at him. Is he upset by this? She asked herself. She went over to the chair her dad had slept in and pulled it closer to the bed. She picked up the spoon and put it in front of his lips. Timothy opened his mouth and let the spoon slide in. He picked his head up. This purple cereal was delicious; it was sweet, almost like honey. Maroon saw the smile on his face and knew he liked it. She put the spoon back into the bowl and lifted it out giving him another spoon full. After the he finished with the cereal, she gave him the red sausage. As soon as he put it in his mouth he spit it back out. He stuck out his tongue and asked for something purple and quick. She quickly grabbed the purple leaf plant and gave it to him. Again, it was sweet, but this time it tasted more like sugar than honey. He looked at her and said “Spice is a killer.” She laughed at this phrase then gave him the green pancakes. He scrunched up his nose showing that he didn’t like it but instead of spitting it out, he finished it. “Bitter as can be but not so bad that I can’t stand it,” he said. Next was the orange. He liked it. It gave him a nice shock to the mouth. “Mm, tangy food has always been my favorite.” He said with a grin. Maroon was smiling also, he was giving each color a different description then just saying the color, it was strange but cute. Next came the Blue Juice. After she gave him a sip he scrunched up his nose again and said, “Slight taste but really bland. Can’t hate it but can’t love it.” A yellow fruit was the next thing she put to his lips. As soon as it touched it, though he puckered up his lips. This fruit was really sour. “Purple please,” She gave him more of the purple leaf. “Wow that was sour.” The final item was a white liquid. She held it up to his lips he drank it and looked at her; he motioned for her to give him some more, this time he made a weird face. His nose was scrunched up again, his lips where pulsing in and his eyes was just staring deeply at the liquid. “I don’t taste anything.” He finally said, “You can put anything with white and not taste it. It would make a great mystery soup. He said with a smile.”
Maroon smiled, Timothy had described everything with another word other than their color. He indeed was strange and how didn’t he know which colors he would and wouldn’t like? “Well then how about you tell me what you think.” She said with a smile.
“I would like you to try a new recipe for dinner tonight if you don’t mind.” Timothy said.
“Sure just tell me what ingredients I need and how to cook it and I can make it.” Maroon replied. Why does he want me to try a new recipe?
“Okay, what I need you to do is bring me a list of food that you have. Make sure to put the color before the food’s name,” he said with a smile. I’m going to show them what you can do with different flavors mixed together.
After she did that, he asked her to leave for a few minutes so that he could think of the new recipe. He looked over the list of food they had and chose a few that he thought would go good together. He decided that he was going to have her make Surprise Soup. After writing down the ingredients and the amount, she should put in and how long it should cook, he called her back in and handed her the paper. She looked at it and saw that it had at least one item a member of her family didn’t like and even some that she knew he didn’t like. “Are you sure this is the recipe?” she asked.
Timothy nodded and said, “Yes, I’m sure.” Maroon looked over the list shrugged and then turned towards the door. “Make sure that you make it exactly as I have written it.” He called “If you don’t, it will be a disaster.” She turned toward him and nodded, then headed down stairs.
Around Red Sun (6:00PM), she called everyone to dinner and went with her brother to get Timothy. After everyone was seated around the table, they smelled the air. It smelt delicious. “Gold gave me the recipe for dinner tonight, if you don’t like it yell at him,” She said as she started scooping the white soup into the bowls. She passed it to Timothy first then to her dad who looked at it and furrowed his brow. There’s not going to be any sensation tonight he thought.
She passed it over to Crimson who just looked at it. White, why white? he thought.
Next, she passed it to her mom who knew better than to judge a book by its cover. There is something strange going on here. she thought.
Finally, she poured herself a bowl. As soon as she sat down Timothy folded his hands. The rest looked at him strangely then noticed that his lips were moving. They decided to leave it for later. After all, they were hungry. Everyone looked down at their soup again but nobody would bring it to their mouth. They looked over at Timothy, he had unfolded his hands then went to pick up his spoon. It again slipped from his grasp and slid into the bowl. He growled frustrated that he couldn’t eat by himself yet. Maroon was at the other end of the table and the closest to him was Cornell. He looked over to her and asked, “Would you mind helping me eat? I still can’t pick up the spoon.”
She looked at him surprised that he was going to eat this stuff but decided that since he was the one to give Maroon the recipe that he probably already knew what it tastes like. She picked up the spoon and lifted it to his mouth. He took the spoon inside and took out all the liquid. As soon as his lips closed Cornell took the spoon out. As soon as the spoon was free Timothy started chewing the food that was hidden in the broth. Everyone watched as his mouth moved as if he was chewing. He then started swishing the chewed food around in his mouth tasting it to its fullest. Finally, he swallowed and smiled. “Now that is what I call delicious.”
The three who didn’t know that there was something more in the bowl other than broth was caught off guard. There was no way that white food was “delicious” Maroon on the other hand decided it was her turn to try it. She took a spoon full of soup and put it in her mouth. The rest of the family watched as she too started chewing. Then she just swallowed and gasped, “This is amazing!”
The rest of the family took that as a clue that it was delicious. They all started eating. Rusty gasped and said, “Incredible, never tasted anything like it in my life.”
Cornell looked at Timothy and said, “You sure know your way around the kitchen.” Crimson still was hesitating. He really didn’t like anything white.
Seeing this Timothy spoke up. “Your name is Crimson right?” He asked kindly.
Crimson nodded, “Yes.”
“My name is Gold. I had created this recipe because I believed that you guys should try something new. If you try it and don’t like it I will personally take responsibility for ruining your supper, if you try it and love it then you have a new recipe to add to the home cookbook, but if you don’t try it then you miss out on something you could actually like,” Timothy said with a smile.
Cornell smiled and lifted the soup to Timothy’s mouth. He gladly opened it and continued eating looking at Crimson to see what he was going to do. Crimson watched as Timothy chewed and thought, What is his motive behind giving Maroon a recipe that we had never tried before. After a while he finally picked up his spoon and put it in his mouth. As soon as the soup touched his tongue, he started feeling solid pieces inside his mouth. He chewed for a little while and tasted it. The rest of the family stopped and watched as he ate. This was the picky eater of the family. He gasped as soon as he finished swallowing and started tearing into the soup like it was his last meal.
The rest of the family was shocked they looked over at Timothy who was smiling. They ate the rest of the dinner talking and having fun, sometimes cracking the joke that “Gold should replace Maroon when it comes to cooking.”
After dinner as everyone was starting to leave Timothy spoke up, “Can everyone stay for a little bit longer. I need to tell you why I wanted to have Maroon make this recipe. Maroon can you also bring the recipe to me?” Maroon nodded and left to the kitchen, she brought back the piece of paper he had written the recipe on. He took it and held it facing away from them as he started talking, “First off, I didn’t really know if this recipe would turn out as I had planned. I have no knowledge about the different foods that you have here. Where I come from color doesn’t matter. What I did was put different tastes together to form a new taste.” He showed them the recipe.
3 lbs. Green Leaf
2 lbs. Red Meat
5 lbs. Purple Grains
1 L. White Soup
Preheat the stove to 350o
Cut the Red Meat into 25 cubes and place them in the White Soup and place on the stove
Let cook for 1 hour
Next dice the Green Leaf and put it in the soup stir for the next 10 minutes
Finally, stir in the Purple Grain and let cook for 20 minutes.
Turn off the stove and let cool for 5 minutes then serve.
“You see, if you mix the different colors together you get a new taste. We had a bitter-spice with a pinch of sweetness.” Timothy said with a smile. Everyone was shocked at the new concept. Putting together different tastes was always thought to be disgusting but the way he did it was wonderful.
“Many have tried that in the past but you are the only one who knew exactly how to do it,” Cornell said.
“My adopted mother was getting too old to cook so I started to cook at age 10. I learned about different tastes and how to mix them correctly,” He said sadly remembering his adopted mom. He then picked up his head and looked serous. “If you would like, I will be willing to teach Maroon how to do this. Of course, it will have to wait until I get my wheelchair.”
Maroon looked at him and wondered what brought him down but decided to leave it. “I would love to learn your secret,” she said putting on a fake smile. She hated to see anyone hurting but especially Timothy. I need to find a way to cheer him up, she thought. “How about you and I go somewhere special tomorrow?” she said.
This cheered Timothy up a little bit but not fully, he was thinking about his adopted mother. I still miss you mom, he thought. He was on the verge of tears. Why did she have to die?
“Gold,” Maroon said gently coming over and wrapping her hands around him, “it is okay to cry. Everyone has to sometimes.”
This sent him over the edge. He started to ball into Maroon. He didn’t know why but it was natural. “Why… did she… have to… dye?” he asked between sobs.
Everyone was shocked. This man, who looked all strong and confident, was actually holding onto such a giant grief. “There, there, Gold. It’s alright, let it out,” Maroon said holding onto him. She was starting to tear as well. The man she loved was devastated and all she could do was hold him and let him cry. I wish there was more that I could do, she thought.
After a while, Timothy calmed down. He hadn’t cried like that since the funeral in his real mother’s arms. “I’m sorry about that.” Timothy said between leftover sobs.
“No need boy,” Rusty said with a smile. “Even a man needs to cry sometimes hahaha.”
Timothy stiffened then relaxed and started laughing along with Rusty soon everyone else was laughing. Timothy was tired by the time they finished and decided it was time for bed. “Good night everyone,” he said as Maroon and Crimson carried him upstairs. Crimson forced Maroon to leave while he got Timothy to bed. After Timothy was in bed Crimson left and Timothy went to sleep.
3 weeks had gone by since the day that Timothy was first found on the beach. Timothy’s leg was healed and about 40% of his strength had returned. He still couldn’t do any of his travels but he was at least able to walk. One day he was helping Maroon wash the dishes when Rusty entered the room. “Maroon,” he said to his daughter, “your mom wants to talk to you in our room.” She nodded then ran upstairs to see what her mother wanted then Rusty turned towards Timothy. “Gold,” he said.
Timothy walked to a chair, turned it to Rusty, and sat down knowing Rusty had to talk to him. “Yes Rusty?” he asked.
“Gold,” Rusty said, “I think you know that we agreed to let you stay here till you could find your own place.” Timothy nodded remembering the conversation they had that first night. Rusty continued, “Well, I think first you should find a job. That way you can support yourself as well as keep the place you rent.”
Timothy looked down at his leg. It didn’t hurt anymore and his strength was almost 50% of the way to being completely restored. At this rate he could leave in about a month but he really didn’t want to have to wait that long. “I understand Rusty, though I really don’t know if it will be worth it. I only plan on staying still till my strength returns 100%. That may be in a month.”
Rusty looked at Timothy then down at the floor. He knew his daughter had feelings for him. He did just want the man gone so that those feelings wouldn’t be returned but he also didn’t want his daughter to be hurt. Plus, him and “Gold” were becoming good friends as well. Even Crimson liked him. “Why do you plan on leaving in a month?” he asked holding back the tears to hide his feelings.
“I’m an explorer Rusty,” Timothy replied. “It is a part of my nature to move from one place to the next, usually leaving friends behind.” Timothy also knew that if he didn’t leave his heart would stake him to this land. He was already at the point of “liking” Maroon. Maybe, even to the point of wanting to date her. The only problem is that Rusty didn’t want any man to take his daughter. He had proven that over a cup of Purple Wine.
~Flashback~
It was a week after Timothy was found on the beach. Timothy and Rusty was at the table, Rusty drinking Purple Wine while Timothy Sparkling Purple Juice. Maroon and Cornell was out shopping for a dress for Maroon while Crimson and Ruby looked for a tux for Timothy. Maroon had asked Timothy if he would accompany her to her Senior Homecoming Dance. At first Timothy turned her down with the fact that he still couldn’t stand let alone dance, but Maroon said that she didn’t care, she just wanted him to be there. After thinking it over again, he had agreed. Now he was waiting for the others to get back with the new cloths.
“Youz know Gold,” Rusty said with a drunken smile, “I’m Zurprized I let you stay afer hearing that Maroon had zeen you nakid. I don’t want anyzbudy to takes her awayz from me, she’z my youngest afzer all.”
Timothy laughed remembering that day. “I was surprised too Rusty.” Timothy said.
~End Flashback~
Rusty looked at Timothy deep in thought. “Are you alright?” he asked.
“Yes, I’m fine just thinking about something,” Timothy replied. “Anyway, do you still think I should get myself a job and house?”
“Yes,” Rusty replied then left the room.
“Timothy,” Maroon called as she entered the room, “you need to get ready for The Homecoming Dance.”
Timothy nodded then tried to stand again but fell back into the chair. “Darn it, can you help me Maroon?” he asked reaching out his hands.
Maroon chuckled then helped him out of the chair. “I think we need to have your wheel chair ready tonight just in case you are ready to collapse, especially with this being a long night.”
Timothy chuckled then said, “I’m afraid I have to agree with you.”
Maroon helped Timothy up the stairs then he let her go saying, “I think I can make it the rest of the way.” He really was uncomfortable around her since he had feelings for her and her father didn’t want any man to have her.
Maroon hid tears as she watched him walk to his room with a struggle. She had hoped to help him at least to his door. He hadn’t let her dress him since that first night. She blushed just thinking about it then went to her room to change. Meanwhile, two eyes were watching them closely from around the corner.
Later that night, in Rainbow High, Maroon’s friends were waiting with their boyfriends to meet the Mysterious Gold that they have been hearing so much about. While they waited, however the Girls talked to each other about how the others looked good.
“Silver, that is a beautiful dress you have on tonight, it matches your skin perfectly,” A Green said.
“Not as great as your dress Mantis,” a Yellow said pointing to Mantis
“You can’t deny yourself Goldenrod; you have always been the most beautiful of us all. Even Maroon has to be jealous of you.” A Blue said.
“Cyan, you know you have always been beautiful. In fact you use to be the center of all the boys attention,” a Purple said.
“Wisteria, just because you have pail skin doesn’t make you any less beautiful a White said coming around the corner with an Orange and Brown.
“You should know Cream; after all you have the second palest skin in school.” Wisteria retorted.
“Wisteria,” the Orange scolded, “that wasn’t polite.”
“Sorry Salmon,” Wisteria said looking down. Salmon was the leader of the group and was highly respected, as was Mahogany who stood next to her.
Mahogany’s cellphone beeped indicating she had a text. “Maroon is pulling into the parking lot now,” she said looking at her cell. “I think Gold did the texting since it wasn’t in our lingo.” The boys sighed happy that they would stop hearing about how beautiful their girls where. They already could see that so why did the girls have to talk about it. They turned their attention to the door as Maroon walked through pushing Timothy in a wheelchair. Everyone looked at Timothy shocked to see that he was wearing a silver suite instead of a golden one. That was until they saw his eyes. The suit he wore brought out his eyes to the point that no other man in the school could. Everyone else had chosen suites that matched their skin color, which also was their eye color, but “Gold” had chosen to go with his eye color instead.
“He’s so handsome,” All the girls cried
“Maroon is so lucky,” Mahogany said.
All the girls walked over to Maroon and “Gold”.
“Maroon,” Salmon said with a smile, “You look even more beautiful than any of us here,”
Great, Timothy thought, prissy girls. I hope they don’t try to come on me.
“Gold,” Maroon said, “I would like you to meet my girlfriends; Silver, Mantis, Goldenrod, Cyan, Wisteria, Cream, Salmon, and Mahogany.”
“Nice to meet you ladies,” he said putting on a fake smile.
Salmon bent down and whispered in his ear, “You know I could show you a wonderful time if you want.” She wanted to see his reaction to this statement just to see if he was right for her best friend.
She didn’t expect the response she got. “Come on me again and you will have no way of giving people such a time, understood,” he hissed.
She backed off at that then smiled. "You definitely have a good boyfriend," she said with a fake smile. This was a cue for the person listening around the corner. That person left.
“I’m glad you approve.” He said with his fake smile still on his face.
“Maroon, why don’t you come with us for a little while and have a girl talk before the dance actually begins.” Salmon said dragging her to the bathroom with the other girls following.
Timothy released the fake smile then sighed. He then turned his attention to the boys then wheeled himself over to them. “Which one of you is the boyfriend of Salmon?”
“I am,” An Orange stepped forward. Just as Salmon was the leader of the girls, he was the leader of the boys. “My name is Princeton.”
“My name is Gold, I’d watch her if I were you. She just came onto me.” Timothy said annoyed by what just happened.
“She did that to all the other boys in my group here,” Princeton said with a smile, “The way we met was through our girls. She tests all her girlfriend’s boys by doing that. She would never hold such a promise.”
“I hope your right for her sake,” Timothy said gruffly.
“You know she is the only girl in school without parents?” Princeton asked.
“I don’t know anybody in this school besides Maroon.” Timothy replied.
“If you know Maroon so well then you must know that her father is protective.” Princeton said, “No boy has ever gotten to truly date his daughter.”
“I know,” Timothy answered with a cringe, “I had the talk with the man already. No man is taking his daughter without him knowing that she will be beyond the doubt happy with him.”
“Well, you two seem to be really happy together.” Princeton said as the girls came out of the bathroom laughing about something.
“Princeton, can you help me out of this chair so that I can walk her into the actually dance properly?” Timothy asked as Maroon came closer. Princeton looked at him with a confused look on his face. “It’s okay, I can walk a little.” After hearing that, Princeton helped Timothy out of the chair. Afterwards the boys walked to their respective girlfriends and held out their right arm. The girls grabbed it and they walked into the dance.
The dance was wonderful. There were many beautiful ladies but Timothy couldn't take his eyes of Maroon. She looked so beautiful he felt his stomach turn every time she looked at him. She of course didn’t notice his discomfort everyone else did and thought it was cute. The dance continued on, around High Purple (10:00 PM) Timothy had to sit back in his chair. He had been dancing with Maroon for a while since High Green (8:00). Maroon pushed him around as they went to the food stands. They ate together until Half Purple Half Red (10:30 PM)
At about this time The Cutes Couple of the dance was going to be announced. Princeton stood up on stage and cleared his throat. “May I have everyone’s attention.” He said into the microphone. Everyone quieted down “As the senior class president I am to announce the winners of this year’s ‘Cutest Couple of the Dance’ First off though I would like to say everyone here looks fabulous and that this must have been a hard choice. Now that that is out of the way, I will now announce our winner in order starting with third place.
in third with 100 votes: Me and Salmon,
in second with 125 votes: Snow and Cream,
and in first place with 300 votes: Gold and Maroon.
Congratulations! Gold and Maroon will you please come up and sit on the thrones of honor?”
Maroon helped Timothy out of his wheel chair. He held out his arm and she took it. She helped him up the stairs to the platform and they sat down on the thrones. A crown was place on Timothy’s head and a Tierra was placed on Maroon’s. Everyone was clapping. Timothy and Maroon blushed. They had come as friends but ended up as boyfriend / girlfriend in the eyes of the school.
Another pair of eyes was also watching from the outside. They were seething with anger. “Who could this person be?” the owner asked no one in particular. He then moved away from the window and went to the front door waiting for the dance to end.
After the dance, Timothy and Maroon were headed for Maroon’s car. It was a maroon muscle. About 3 feet from the car Timothy noticed a red standing next to it, leaning against the passenger side door, Maroon also noticed him and stopped gritting her teeth. It was Fire, a man who wanted her to be all his, but she didn’t like. He was taller than most of the boys in the school, he was also a punk who thought the whole world should bow down before him since his family was rich. He had no friends, except the ones he bought. Maroon reached for her cell to contact her dad but Red grabbed her arm and took the phone. “I don’t think so beautiful,” he said with a grin. He then turned to Timothy and tipped his wheel chair over. Timothy fell out of the chair and landed with a thud against the ground knocking the wind out of him. “Come near my girl again and I will kill you,” he sneered. Timothy couldn’t get off the ground, he had spent most of his energy dancing the final dance with Maroon. Red started to laugh, he was going to be the one who takes Maroon, not this yellow. Suddenly his laugh was cut short by another red arm grabbing around his neck while another one was picking Timothy up.
“Hello Red,” the owner of the arm said amusingly.
That voice, it can’t be, Red thought turning towards the man who had him. It was Crimson. The red who picked Timothy up was Ruby. They had been instructed by Rusty to watch his sister and “Gold” after the dance, “for that was when most teens went to their cars to ‘do it’.”
Dad may not know much about kids these days, Crimson thought, but I’m glad I was here. “You mess with him and you mess with me,” Crimson said. He thought of “Gold” as a brother. Gold deserves Maroon. Dad may not like it but Maroon and Gold are both of age and deserves a life together, he thought. “Gold is part of the family now and you are messing with him. I will protect him like I protect my sister and mother. He is currently weak but I know that someday he will be strong. When that day come’s I know that he will protect me as well. Now then, I suggest you vacate the premises and never let me see you within arm’s reach of my sister or her boyfriend again, understood?” He commanded. Red nodded his head and Crimson let him go. “Beat it!” Crimson yelled making Red scurry away.
“Thank you Crimson,” Timothy said as Ruby and Maroon helped him into the car. He was exhausted and needed to get home. He felt like he might have to extend his leave another week. Besides, now that Crimson accepted him as family, more than likely Rusty will follow suit. Rusty respects his son and talks with him like he is an equal. If anybody could convince Rusty to allow Timothy to date or even marry Maroon, it would be him. First though, he had to tell Crimson something. He would wait however till they got home.
Timothy and Maroon followed Ruby and Crimson home. First, they dropped Ruby off then headed for home. As soon as they pulled in the driveway, Maroon got out and helped Timothy out of the car and into his wheelchair. “Maroon, please go into the house so me and Crimson can talk,” Timothy said. Maroon was puzzled but obeyed. After Maroon left Timothy turned toward Crimson. “I would like to thank you for helping Maroon and I out,” he said.
“We are family and that is what family is for,” Crimson replied.
“You know I’m not allowed to date your sister,” Timothy said sadly.
“As I said to Red, you are already her boyfriend,” he laughed. “You must not let dad push you around, in fact when you ask dad to date her, I will stand beside you and support you.”
“Will you say that even if I have lied to you and your family the whole time I was here?” Timothy asked getting ready to reveal his secret to Crimson.
Crimson knew he was being serious about that question. Why would he ask such a thing, he thought. “It depends on what it is you are lying about,” Crimson said narrowing his eyes just to make it clear that he already knew that Timothy was going to reveal something big.
No turning back now, Timothy thought. “My name is not Gold, it is Timothy. I also am not from this world. Heck, I’m not even from this dimension. I’m from a place called earth,” he said.
Crimson looked at him then a smile crept across his face. He started laughing hysterically. Timothy sat there seething. He had just revealed his biggest secret to Crimson and he was laughing. After a couple of minutes, Crimson calmed down and chuckled, “You had me going there for a minute. I thought you were being serious about you lying to us.” Timothy gave him a serious look that made Crimson stop his chuckling. “Your being serious?” he asked. Timothy nodded. Crimson stepped back and asked, “How is that possible?”
“I am what they call a Dimension Traveler, a being that can travel between dimensions,” Timothy answered. “Your sister only knows about my name but she has no idea about my race.”
“When were you planning on telling her?” Crimson asked.
“I wasn’t,” Timothy replied, “I wasn’t expecting to fall in love.”
“Are you planning on telling her soon.”
“I will reveal it to the family tomorrow.”
“The whole family, why are you revealing it to me tonight?”
“To see if you would still consider me family or not, also so that I have someone there to help me out. I want to ask your dad if I can date your sister, after I reveal my secret tomorrow.”
“Understood, you still have my support."
“Thanks Crimson.”
“No problem Gold, I mean Timothy.”
They both laughed as they entered the house. Everyone else was in bed, so Crimson helped Timothy up to bed then went to bed himself.
The next day Timothy was nervous. He was going to reveal his secret to the entire family that night during dinner. To top it all off he found out that Crimson was actually Maroon’s twin brother and that he was proposing to Ruby tonight in front of both families. That meant that not only was he revealing himself in front of Maroon’s family but also in front of Ruby’s family. This was going to be tough. Timothy locked himself in his room all day to prepare for this time. Crimson kept the rest of the family occupied saying, “Gold has to prepare for something special tonight.” The rest of the family of course was curious but Crimson prevented them from even having a chance to get near Timothy’s door. Good thing to, he was practicing what he would say. If anyone even walked past his door they would of heard him. Luckily, the only room past his was Crimson’s. Nobody, not even Ruby, went there except Crimson. Crimson hated people entering his room as Timothy had found out.
~Flashback~
It was two weeks after Timothy was on the beach. He decided to check out the house. Crimson was rarely home and Timothy was always asleep when he came and left the house. He had no idea that the room next door was Crimson’s he thought it was a spare. He went into the room to find that it was more like a storage room. It had Action figures from many movies as well as trains. The strange thing was that it had a bed. As he turned the wheel chair around to leave, a hand from behind grabbed him. It was Crimson. He was woken up by the sound of the doorknob turning and hid around the corner. He didn’t know who it was but whoever it was was going to get it. “What are you doing in my room?” Crimson asked angrily.
“I’m sorry,” Timothy cried as he realized who it was, “I was exploring the house and thought it was a spare.”
Crimson released him then apologized, “I’m sorry Gold, I forgot to tell you where my room was and that no one was to enter it.”
~End Flashback~
Timothy had been working on that with Crimson so that he could marry Ruby. He had entered a few more times after that, but only after knocking. Crimson was getting better but he was nervous about what will happen when Ruby enters his room for the first time. Timothy had planned to bring her in with him in two days to get Crimson use to a girl being in there. Now it was crucial to do so. I sure hope he can do this, Timothy thought as he prepared to tell the family the truth.
That night Timothy watched as Maroon made supper for everyone. He had been teaching her how to make delicious food out of different colored ingredients and tonight was her test. She had to make a dish that used at least three different colors, not including white, which tasted delicious to the whole family. Timothy wrote down what she put in and how much of it she put in as she made it. He also put down the temperature of the oven as well as how long it cooked. After she was done, he called everyone to the table. He really had no idea how she would do since some of the stuff she put in it was unusual, but he expected it to at least taste decent, if not delectable.
Everyone came to the table that had been set up for both families. As soon as everyone was seated Timothy stood up, “Thank-you all for coming to the final test for Maroon’s mixing lessons,” he said with a smile. “As Maroon’s family knows, I have been teaching Maroon how to mix different colored food together to make tasty food. Tonight I just watched as Maroon made the meal. So please, tell us what you think about it. So without further ado, let supper begin.” As soon as he said this Maroon brought out what she made, and everyone started to dig in. It was indeed delicious, not as good as Timothy’s, but still delicious. After everyone finished they gave their thoughts.
Ruby’s mother, Rose, decided to comment first, “I have never tasted anything as delicious as this. I would love to get the recipe.”
Ruby’s father, Cardinal, said, “I have to agree. I have never tasted anything like it. Gold, you have taught her well. Can you teach my wife how to do this kind of stuff?”
Ruby had tasted Timothy’s cooking before. This was nowhere near his level but it was still good, “You haven’t surpassed the master, but you still made a delicious meal.”
Next was Crimson, who was hesitant at first because it wasn’t Timothy who made the meal, “I agree, it was a delicious meal. Nowhere near Gold’s but still delicious.
Next was Cornell, “Delicious dear, you indeed have done well.”
Finally Rusty who looked nervous, “I’m afraid I have to agree with everyone else, it was delicious, so much so I’m afraid someone is going to swipe you from me.”
Timothy had written down all the comments and then said, “Just like everyone else here, I loved the food. It was delicious. After reviewing the comments and watching you cook I here is the results. You have passed with a 99%. You did it Maroon you are a mixer chef.”
“Thank you everyone,” Maroon said with a smile. I couldn’t have done it without Ti … Gold here.” She was now nervous, she almost revealed Timothy’s true name. Timothy noticed this but nobody else seemed to have.
Crimson stood up then said, “This is a happy occasion for my sister but I would like to ask something to Ruby. He then turned to ruby and got on one knew, “Ruby will you marry me.” Everyone was shocked they didn’t expect this.
Ruby sat there for a second gasping the smiled. “Yes!” she cried out then hugged him. He hugged her back and put the diamond ring onto her finger. It was a Ruby colored diamond with ruby colored metal. Inscribed into the metal was a message, “I love you.”
Crimson and Ruby kissed and everyone clapped. After they finished their kiss Crimson turned to Timothy and Timothy nodded. It was time to reveal his secret. “Everyone, I think Timothy has something to say,” Crimson said then motioned to Gold before sitting back down.
“Thank you Crimson,” Timothy said, “I wasn’t planning on having Ruby’s family here when I revealed this to you but I guess it would be better that I tell you now. First off my name is not Gold, it is Timothy.” Everyone gasped surprised, but before they could pelt him with questions he said, “I want to finish before I answer questions. As I just said my name is not Gold it is Timothy. The reason for this however is hard to understand so listen to me carefully. I am not from this planet. In fact, I’m not even from this dimension. I am from a dimension called Terra. The way I got here is that I am a part of a species known as Travelers. There are many kind of Travelers, I am known as a perfect Traveler which can travel through Time, Space, and Dimension. I’m sorry for hiding this from all of you but I wasn’t expecting something that did happen to happen,” he paused not wanting to say more, but Rusty wouldn’t let him leave it at that.
“What happened to change your mind Gold, I mean Timothy?” He asked.
The dreaded question asked he would have to tell them now. He nodded towards Crimson who moved around behind Rusty. Noticing this, Cardinal stood to stand behind him as well sensing that he would probably have to help Crimson with whatever he was supposed to do. “Rusty, I have already talked to Crimson about this and he agrees with it so I must ask you. May I date your daughter?”
A hush fell on the room as everyone looked at Rusty expecting him to pounce on Timothy any second, but instead he just sat there staring at Timothy, with sorrow on his face. He had for many years tried to kill anyone who even came near his daughter but he had started taking Timothy in as his own and was planning on asking him to stay and date his daughter and maybe even marry her. He just revealed that he had been lying to them and that he was not a Colorin at all but rather a Traveler who could leave this world at any time. Am I ready to see my daughter leave? After thinking this over a bit he finally decided that it would have to be his daughter who decides. Turning towards Maroon who was nervous he said, “I leave the decision up to you my daughter. You are now old enough to decide if you’re ready to date and even marry.”
Everyone was shocked again, when did Rusty start allowing people to date his daughter? This wasn’t like him. “Dad, I would love to date Timothy officially. All the people at school have already accepted us as a couple. In fact, we were named ‘Cutest Couple of the Dance’ last night.”
Rusty sighed, “Then it’s settled. Timothy, you may date my daughter. However, if you hurt her in any way at all, you best not ever see me again, understood?”
Timothy smiled, “Of course Rusty.”
Rusty smiled back.
It's been four years since Timothy had revealed his secret to Maroon's family. Timothy was wearing a silver suite just like the one that he had at that prom, except this one had golden trim all around it. He stood in the front of the room with Crimson, Princeton, and Snow. On the other side stood Ruby, Salmon, and Cream. Coming down the isle was Crimson and Ruby's son, Fire, and daughter, Rose. as they got to the front they stepped to the side and the crowed went silent The Bridle March started to play as Maroon and Rusty came down the isle, Timothy looked at Maroon remembering the first time he saw her. How she was bandaging his leg. He blushed now looking back on that day. Then came the thought of his proposal.
~Flashback~
Red had yet again tried to steal Maroon from him. "You are not even of this world, why should you have her?"
"It doesn't matter where your from, all that matter's is if you love the person."
"Oh, yea?" Red jumped at Timothy with a knife in his hand. If it wasn't for Timothy grabbing it with one of his own hand it most certainly would have gone through his heart, The knife cut him but he clamped down onto it, grabbing the same wrist with his other arm. He then hit his head into Red's who fell backwards releasing the knife.
After the cops took Red away Maroon grabbed his hand and looked at it. "That was a stupid thing to do you know."
"Yea I know, but I would do anything for you." Maroon blushed as she pulled out her first aid kit. As she wrapped Timothy watched her. "You know, this kind of reminds me of the day we met."
"Oh really, I don't see you naked."
Timothy laughed, "No, your right, but you were treating my wound when I first saw you."
Maroon chuckled, "That's true,"
"Maroon,"
"Yes, Timothy?"
"I would like to know?"
"What?"
"Do you love me?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course I love you."
"How much?"
"I don't understand."
"How much do you love me?"
"What brought this on all of a sudden?"
"Well, someone said that you were seeing another man."
"..."
"Is it true."
"I've been helping a red named Chestnut."
"Oh,"
"No not with that silly,"
"Huh?"
"I was helping him get the attention of another red. He thought that if he got another red female to help him he could get her to fall in love with him."
"Really?"
"Timothy, I thought you trusted me."
"I do, but, I needed to make sure you weren't cheating on me before..."
"Before what?"
"Before this," Timothy knelt on one knee and held out a box, "Maroon, will you marry me?" Maroon was shocked to say the least. after a few seconds she jumped onto Timothy and they fell into an embrace.
"Yes Timothy, I will marry you!"
~End Flashback~
Crimson shook Timothy from his flashback and pointed to Maroon who was almost to the end of the isle. "Best wake up before she gets here, else you'll miss your chance."
Timothy turned towards him and smiled, "Thanks bro."
"No problem."
When Maroon and Rusty reached the end of the isle the music finished and the pastor began. "We are gathered here today to witness the joining of the two souls of Timothy Gold and Maroon Rose. First off, who will be giving away Maroon to this young man?"
"My wife and I," Rusty said trying to hold back tears.
"Timothy, you may take your bride from her father for as the great book says, 'A man leaves his parents to receive his wife from her's. They will become one and shall never part.' So Timothy, take the bride from her father's arm."
Timothy walked up to Maroon and Rusty and held his arm out and waited for Maroon to slip hers into it. She turned to her father and stood up on her toes to kiss him on the cheek then she hugged him. "I love you dad"
He looked right back at her then said, "I love you to dear," He then turned to Timothy, "take good care of her boy."
"I will sir, you can trust me."
As soon as they were up on the stage the pastor continued. "Now that the parents have approved we shall continue on with the wedding."
"Timothy, do you take Maroon, as your lawfully wedded wife, to live by her side and to never leave her alone without protection, for the rest of your days?"
"I do"
"Maroon, do you take Timothy, as your lawfully wedded husband, to support him and help him by his side?
"I do"
"Well then I pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss."
Everyone cheered and congratulated them. As the final guests left Timothy walked up to Rusty, Cornell, Crimson, and Ruby. "Hey you guys, we have to tell you something."
Everyone looked at him, he rarely talked business. "What is it?" Cornell asked.
"Me and Maroon have been talking and have decided to go on an adventure for a while. We'll return once in while but we won't be able to sea each other for at least a month. I just wanted to tell you that before we left."
Everyone looked sad. Maroon, Ruby, and Cornell started crying on each others shoulders while Crimson just looked down, however, it looked like Rusty was going to kill him. "What do you mean that you guys are going on an adventure. Marriage is the ultimate adventure, why are you leaving?"
"Rusty, It was Maroon who asked me to take her to see the many dimensions. Please try to understand."
Rusty was so angry he stormed off. Timothy was concerned then looked over at Crimson. He held up his thumb. He then grabbed both Cornell an Ruby and pulled them off Maroon. Time to let them go. Timothy grabbed a sack from the wall and pulled up his hand which created a portal for them. "Time to go dear,"
"Coming sweetheart." she said as she was about to enter the portal when she turned around, "I'll miss you dear darling. Be good."
"I will." After saying that she stepped into the portal as did Timothy.
(Finished)
Skie and Avery
10-17-12, 10:56 PM
Is there anything else you'd like the judge to know?
I would like you to explain how judging in the nexus goes on this thread, as an example for future Nexus Thread submissions.
Check out the Nexus FAQ here (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?24507-The-Nexus-FAQ). As you requested a classic style judgement, you'll be judged with the official rubric, and instead of earning EXP and GP, you'll earn Nexus Points. NP can be exchanged for rewards, some of which are listed in the Nexus FAQ.
Plot (12/30)
Story (4/10)
I was a bit disappointed here to tell the truth. You had an excellent chance to delve into a nuanced story of racism and confusion as obstacles for love. Instead, this was much like a teen movie. The story was shallow and simple. That said, simple stories aren't all bad when executed well. There were also story elements that didn't seem to make sense at all and caused a lot of confusion for me. For instance, this seems to be an advanced society. They have art, music, dancing, clothiers, and my goodness cell phones. There is no apparent lack of creative people and ingenuity, and yet there are no chefs that have figured out how to combine the different flavors inherent in the colors of food to create advanced dishes? When Timothy served his soup, he was told that people had tried, but failed. I just didn't understand how that was possible when arts of other kinds were just as thriving, especially because no particular explanation for it was given.
Setting (2/10)
Because you are fully responsible for world building in Nexus threads, I really would have loved to see more meat here. You talked about the moons as a means of timekeeping, but there didn't seem to be any sort of effect on the world in having more than one moon. You mentioned that a beach would negatively influence someone of a different skin color than the beach, but never explained why. Aside from that, the world seemed more or less just like earth.
The actual description of setting was lacking here as well. For example, in the first posts, you didn't explain that Maroon had taken Timothy to her house. She had been looking at the moons and then back at Timothy, leading me to believe that they were in the back of a wagon or at a campsite. Then you mentioned a bed, and I was completely confused until I realized that they were in her home and I guess she had seen the moons from the window? Also, I never really got anything about what the characters actually looked like. You gave Timothy the most description. I know that his eyes are silver, his hair is short, and his nose is long. That leaves a lot to the imagination. I only know about Maroon and her family that they have some sort of red or reddish skin tone. The same goes for everyone else. From the details of the house and rooms to the school and the church, I had nothing to help me imagine the world that you created. It ended up making the story lackluster, and this is part of what I mentioned about how simple stories can shine in the right circumstances. Part of that is providing a rich storytelling experience, where your imagination is given to the reader through your words, describing everything so that the picture in your mind is what they see as well.
Pacing (6/10)
The thread moved well enough, and I do like your use of flashbacks.
Character (10/30)
Communication (4/10)
Some of the dialogue was a bit awkwardly written, and it didn't seem really believable. It could have been because there was a lot lacking in internal thoughts and body language. These are both important aspects of communication.
Action (2/10)
Your action score suffered considerably because of the lack of any real conflict. There was never any huge conflict with Red, aside from the knife attack and the pushing of the wheelchair. It was resolved quickly, and then that was that. The other major conflict that was set up here was getting Rusty's permission to date Maroon and the reveal of Timothy's origins, and that too never really came to a head.
Persona (4/10)
I never really got a good handle on the characters you introduced. Everyone was polite, with the exception of the obvious villain. Rusty seemed like he might be pretty murderous at first, but then he wasn't? Maroon seemed sexually adventurous at first, looking for reasons to undress Timothy, but then it turns out she's really demure and pure? Okay. I do really like that you showed food neophobia with the family when it came to the soup. Especially with Crimson, who seemed to be pickier than everyone else. There were some confusing details. At one point you say that Maroon is two years older than Crimson, but during the wine flashback, Rusty calls her his youngest?
Prose (13/30)
Mechanics 4/10
There were a lot of problems with grammar and spelling here. Most of the spelling errors were either the improper use of homophones (using pail instead of pale, or bridle for bridal), or things that a spellchecker might miss such as using angle instead of angel. You also tend to switch verb tense here and there, moving from past tense to present. It doesn't happen often, but watch out for it. Using the same tense consistently (leaned - past, leans - present) all through your writing will help to polish it and make it easier for the reader to be immersed in the story.
Clarity (6/10)
Most of what you wrote was pretty clear, though there were times when I got really confused as to what you meant. For example, when describing Maroon's car you called it a "maroon muscle". It took me a couple of reads to realize that you meant a muscle car and not a slab of flesh.
Technique (3/10)
The writing was simplistic and non-descriptive. Find different ways to talk about things, and don't be so blunt. One of the first steps you can take to make your writing more elegant is to try and infuse metaphors into your writing. I do like that you talked about the crescent moon being a smile, and making Maroon feel happy because of that. That's a good start.
Wild Card (3/10)
I'm looking forward to the next Timothy Gold story. I think you've got a diving board to really take this to some interesting places. I think that you could learn a lot from this thread about really getting into cultures and conflicts when you're world-building.
Total (36/100)
hoytti receives 816 Nexus Points
Thank you skie. A lot of the places where I was lacking I've been working on. I hope my next one is better.
Mordelain
08-19-13, 11:47 AM
Nexus Points added.
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