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PinkGhostofSeaside
07-24-12, 06:36 PM
Name: Eshwyn Albtraum ("Esh" means "Fire" in Hebrew/ "Wyn" means "Friend"/ "Albtraum" is the German word for "Nightmare")
Age: 123 (she is a young adult in Morpholian years)
Race: Morpholian
Hair Color: Dyed pink for front, naturally black rest of the way back / Fire orange when morphed
Eye Color: Flaming Orange
Height: 6'5"
Weight: 50
Occupation: N/A

Personality: It is the Morpholian nature to be evil and cruel, but Eshwyn doesn't want to be that. She wants to lead a gentle and peaceful life. Eshwyn is very quiet, and prefers to be left alone; but she is also brave and determined to do the right thing. Although most times, when she tries to do something good, things still turn for the worst. Eshwyn is very emotional, but tries to hide it from everyone. Her years of exile (*see character's History*) toughened her up to be able to hide her feelings well.

Appearance: In her regular form, she wears black pants with a black hoodie, and a dark purple shirt. In her Morphed form, almost everything is orange (Because it's fire) except her face, which is still pale, except for her eyes which are also orange, and reflect fire.

Skills:
Fighting with her Poisonous Ear Dagger and Stiletto.
Fighting with her long, Morpholian, finger and toe nails.
Fighting with her staff
Hunting
Cooking

Abilities: Morpholians hae the natural ablilities to Morph into "Fire beings" that are made entirely of fire. This is mostly used for extreme combat, and she can catch wooden objects on fire; it works well as an offence, but the fire can easily be distinguished by water, wind, or other things, therefore making this power a major disadvantage when in need of defense. She can still be hit with melee weapons too.
Morpholians can also glide because of the combination of their very light weight, and small wings that are attached to their arms.. They can't glide over far distances, but if inside a forest, they can swoop from tree to tree with ease, or they can swoop down onto an enemy from a large rock.
Eshwyn is very dextile (Twice as a normal human), and can move very fluently.

Equipment:
A steel, poison Ear Dagger.
A steel, poison Stiletto (*the poison on both blades can only make an opponent nauseous.*)
An oak staff with a small, steel pike on top.
A belt that holds odds and ends.
A small bag that holds food.
Sheaths for her two weapons. (She always walks with her staff like it's a walking stick.)

Familiars: A random fire spirit likes to hang around her; most likely because she is attracted to Eshwyn's fire essence . The spirit is named Diamnd and can take on multiple forms.
Diamnd receives visions of anything in the past, present, or future, whenever she needs it.
Diamnd also can suck life out of other people, but only a short amount, she can kill an infant with ease, she could badly hurt a toddler and leave him/her on the edge of death, but she can only phase an adult by a short amount. This effect can only last for a minute.
Given she is a spirit, she is barely visible to the human eyes. She would be tangible, but a dark wizard cursed her to where she can still take damage from melee weapons. It is rumored this curse was set because she was taking innocent lives with no demands or goals set whatsoever.

History: Eshwyn used to live with all of the other Morpholians in their secret kingdom called Akdenthia, which is hidden somewhere around Fallien. She never really liked how violent the Morpholian race was to others races, and even some people within her own species, but she kept living with it until a teen aged, human girl, somehow wandered into the hidden lands of Akdenthia. She was captured, and was sentenced to be killed by the Morpholian king. But Eshwyn, who didn't see anything wrong with the human, coudln't allow that, so she helped the girl (Who confirmed her name was Ashla Rose Icebreaker (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?16205-BlueGhostofSeaside) ((See my Main Account)) ) escape. The other Morpholians were furious that Eshwyn helped the human girl escape, so they found her and threw her into the king's court. The king was furious too, and decided to banish Eshwyn from Akdenthia. They let her know that she was never to return- and if she did, she would be killed. So she wondered around the desert area of Fallien until she found the ruins of an abandoned Fallien city and settled there. She once in a while wonders outside the city, but only for short times; for she fears that some Morpholians may still be trying to find her, thinking that banishment wasn't punishment enough. Ever since she left Akdenthia, a fire spirit named Diamnd, found, chased, and haunted her. She was drawn to Eshwyn by her fire essence. Eshwyn fought her at first, but finally let her hang around. The two became odd friends throughout Eshwyn's years of exile.

Letho
07-25-12, 10:24 AM
Ok, I need to know a couple of things before I can approve this. I need to know does her "fire being" form give her any other advantages other than being on fire?

The dexterity should be twice that of a normal human.

Need to know the wood of the staff (oak is a good choice).

Lastly, does a familiar have any special abilities of his own? Keep in mind that at this point it should be pretty weak.

PinkGhostofSeaside
07-25-12, 03:28 PM
Okay. How's that. I know you may be wanting to change my familiar a bit...

Letho
07-26-12, 10:31 AM
Needs a couple more fixes.

I need you to make it so, despite the fact that she's made out of fire, she can still be damaged by melee attacks as everybody else.

Same goes for the familiar. Also, sucking the life out of someone should take a considerable amount of time at this point. Let's say about a minute?

EDIT: Sorry, forgot to add this. I need to know the effects of the poison on his blades. It would be best if for now they just made the opponent nauseous.

PinkGhostofSeaside
07-27-12, 01:04 PM
Okay. Is that good? Other than that, what do you think about my character?

TheOnlyGhost
07-27-12, 01:41 PM
In my opinion (I'm not an official judge by the way) the character seems that it COULD be great yet a little overpowered.

Words like "Instantly kill, instantly make someone near the edge of death, etc..." seem to be words of overpoweredness for a low level character. On the other hand, if you reword it a little bit it won't come across like that.

Other than that all of the subjects like "personality" , "history" , and "appearance" seem very rushed and thrown together quickly. Although it is possible to have all these subjects short, for they don't need to be 999999999 pages in length for each, they still could use some work. No offense or anything, but your character seems to be very vague to me.

Perhaps adding a picture, a longer description of things, spell checking everything (for example "Diamnd" is spelled Diamond").

For "A random spirit that follows her...." is fine, but not the greatest --- "hanging around for no reason" almost sounds like some kind of hinderance to me. All things hang around other things for a reason, for example using a real world example the fish that attach themselves to the bottom of the shark do it for a reason. They do it for food, and for an added bonus to the shark, it keeps them clean. Perhaps the reason could be it is attracted to your fire essence?

Hope that helps.

^.^

P.S.: You can use the link to my character for an example if you want, or anyone else for that matter. My advice to you, is to look at several other characters to get some ideas. :D

PinkGhostofSeaside
07-27-12, 01:46 PM
Thanks for the tips. I'll edit some of it.

I know that "Diamnd" is usually spelled "Diamond", but the reason I am purposely spelling it "Diamnd" is because I wanted to make the name unique, and there is a band called "Falling Up" that made a song called "Diamonds" but spelled it "Diamnds" (they have made a lot of cool and interesting names for their songs actually), so I thought I would use that.

TheOnlyGhost
07-27-12, 01:53 PM
Here is an image I found that might work well for you, you of course can choose any you wish (or not even use one), it is just an idea:

http://th04.deviantart.net/fs21/PRE/f/2007/232/0/6/Vulcan___Magma_Elemental_by_HoiHoiSan.jpg

If you want the website where I got this image, pm me ... because I'm not sure if it's considered "forum appropriate" ... there is no nudity or anything UNLESS you search for the wrong term.

Letho
07-27-12, 04:23 PM
TheOnlyGhost, please refrain from posting in character threads that are not your own. If you have a suggestions or advice, please submit them via a private message. It prevent the clutter in these threads which are really not a place for debates.

PinkGhostofSeaside, you are approved. Thank you for your cooperation and welcome to Althanas.