A Lonely Chord

[Moonlit Raven]

((Closed to Skie and Avery))

Elena stood on top of a small hillock just outside of Radasanth. Against the crimson streaked sky of sunset, nothing of the city had seemed to change. The tug of a small hand on her fingers pulled her attention away from the not too distant city. Looking down at her daughter, she chuckled quietly at the put-upon expression on Verdandi's face.

“I'm hungry.” Verdandi whined.

“You just ate an hour ago.” Elena said teasingly, her chocolate eyes gleamed with mirth as she watched Verdandi huff and stomp back towards their small camp hidden away among the trees. Silently, she drifted along behind her daughter enjoying the mild display of temper that for once was not directed at her. Glancing back at the painted sky once more, Elena set her mind on the mundane tasks of setting up a secure camp and starting a fire. From a pack she dug out a small pouch of dried, sweetened fruits that she normally held in reserve as treats and tossed it at Verdandi.

For a moment as Verdandi held the much coveted pouch of treats, her brilliant green eyes shone with the joy of a normal child. Elena felt her heart contract in a small sting of pain when the joy faded and an expression far too old for her daughter's face stole over it.

“You're leaving.” Verdandi stated.

“Just to hunt for dinner.” Elena leaned back against a tree, relishing the bite of it's rough bark through the worn texture of her leathers. “Tomorrow I'm going down into the city for a bit, I want you to stay up here.”

“Why?” Elena smiled at the complex creature that was her daughter, Physically born a year ago, she looked like your average five year old child but neared her own age mentally. Kneeling, she beckoned Verdandi to her. Hugging Verdandi to her Elena used the moment to think of an answer that would satisfy her precocious child.

“You sometimes see ghosts and hear them, but no one else can, even when you point them out. It's a lot like that, it's a feeling that I have to be somewhere soon. I won't leave you alone for long or even unprotected, after all you'll have Kazmir with you.” Elena lightly caressed the crimson streak black hair and pale skin that was twin to her own and smiled down at her daughter.

“Help Kazmir pick out a good tree for him to rest in while I go find us dinner.” With a quick playful swat on her butt, Elena sent Verdandi running over to the huge spider that was her only other companion. Elena stepped out of the sheltering circle of the tiny clearing into the gloom of the forest, the cool evening breeze tugged at her hair. Sighing, Elena headed off at a swift trot, eager to find their supper before night truly fell and even her advanced vision failed her in the inky space beneath the canopy.

~

Dawn found Elena up early and within the edges of Radasnath, as she walked through the slowly waking city her thoughts were a jumbled mix. Old memories that she felt were better left forgotten mingled with the fresh memories of an vastly amusing pre-dawn conversation with her daughter over her wardrobe choices. Or rather, lack of choices.

“Who knew I had a mini fashionista on my hands?” Elena murmured to herself, looking down at the short silky red dress that she wore. The once gift from her husband helped to stir memories as her feet drew her on a long familiar path, all too soon the Citadel stood before her. With an unconcerned shrug and a quick pat on the falchion she always wore, Elena mounted the steps to the Ai'brone monks that waited for those who sought something from their hallowed halls.

[Skie and Avery]

Avery had also been drawn to the Citadel. He'd been coming here more often, set on honing the magic that he could wrap around himself in illusion and light. There was a fire that burned in his heart, consuming in and masking the pain that his past held, and now he turned the flames to the future. He would take his skills to a level that his sister dared not dream he had within himself and with them, he would end her life. As he walked the halls, humming a song, he came down a stone hallway with a door partially ajar. He opened it and slipped in sideways, making maneuvers to fit the shield he carried on his back through the open portal.

Once inside, he was immediately halted. Before him, the scene was a familiar one but not what he had expected. Turning on his heel, he found the door to the hallway had already disappeared. The only option he had was to go forward and battle, the arena be damned. Forward he went, willing his shaking legs and weak knees to take one step after another until he was carried further into the incarnated arena.

Around him, the sounds of a night forest were almost too loud. Cicadas and bullfrogs screamed out their shrill mating cries, the wind through the trees hushing them in vain. He smelled the evening primrose, honeysuckle, and moon lilies. It was Concordia in the summer, with a big full moon above to wash everything in a dim blue filter. Somewhere through the thick copse of trees before him, he could see the flicker of light. Striding forward, he clung to the trunks of trees, sliding around them with his body to keep from being seen by anyone who must be in wait. The lights became brighter, illuminating the bark of trees in shadows that danced through waving branches. As he moved, Avery's breath caught in his throat, his heart pounding. He could hear the beat in his ears, almost dizzying. His foot came down on a twig and it snapped, the sound sharp and blistering. In a panic, the Moontae king shot upwards, scrambling into the tree.

He crouched on the branch for a long moment, his hands clutching at his chest. His breath was ragged, gasping and choking on air. Why had the Citadel cursed him with this place? His lonely heart called out in grief and finally Avery began making his way forward again, using the trees to stalk up on the firelight ahead.

Nostalgia came in a crushing wave when at last he was hovering over the fire. He had sat here once before, in a tree like this, looking down at a camp like this. Some meat roasted on a make-shift spit above the fire, the embers glowing red in the circle of stones that contained the flames. A bedroll lay near the fire, but it was empty. He remembered when a figure had lounged on one just like it, singing a tune that had enchanted and entranced him from the first notes he'd heard. Pulling his knees to his chest, Avery stared at the fire and quietly wept, his tears hot and constant as they fell from his eyes. After a while, they stopped falling, and he solemnly kept his vigil on the camp. He would have been happy had no one shown up, alone to sit and think of a songbird that had long flown away.

[Moonlit Raven]

Behind the silent Ai'brone Elena strolled along, humming a dark melody as she took in the familiar stone halls studded with doors. The monk came to a stop beside a plain door that look just like the dozens of others they had passed, opening it for her. Elena wondered, as she always did, how they picked out a room for their 'visitors'. Shrugging mentally and bobbing her head in thanks she walked inside. Just before the door quietly clicked shut behind her a single line of the melody came to her and she sang it softly.

“ 'For you are the proof of how he betrayed her loyalty.' ”

Loosening her sword in it's sheath, Elena carefully stepped into the forest. The sound of her footsteps were almost hidden in the soft rustle of dried leaves and springy moss. A soothing breeze ruffled the branches over head, giving Elena brief peeks at a diamond strewn night sky. Ahead firelight gleamed, throwing the trees into stark relief and casting long black shadows. For a long moment Elena fought the urge to not chuckle, wondering what young-blood adventurer had started the fire, alerting any challenger that entered into this wooded, night-time arena of their position.

Side-stepping, Elena quietly searched the campsite, keeping to the darkness and slipping into the deep shadows of the trees when possible. As she came full circle Elena found herself a little surprised to find no adventurer huddled up to the fire, cowering from the crickets as it were. Her gaze flickered over the bed roll stationed near the far side of the fire and she frowned for a moment as something gnawed faintly at the back of her mind. Eager to begin the fight and return to her waiting daughter Elena's gaze turned up to the trees. For a moment she thought she could make out the muscled curve of a shoulder among the leafy depths of a tree. Careless Elena strolled into the light of the camp with an easy roll of her hips that had rarely failed to gather her male attention and propped herself up against the smooth bark of a beech tree.

“You know, the sooner we begin the sooner things get... interesting.” Elena said, just loud enough for her voice to carry over the singing of the crickets.

[Skie and Avery]

At first, Avery thought he was in a dream. What magic was this, what illusion were the Ai'brone weaving to tug and tear at his heart? He'd not seen Elena in so long, that he had been sure he'd been able to seal his heart up against the rampant destruction his love for her could level. He was mesmerized by her face, entranced by her eyes. He watched as she darted around, and his heart stopped the moment she swiveled her gaze upwards to stare straight at him. Was he hidden well enough in the trees, so that he might watch her the night he first came upon her? The arena was set up in the memory of the night he'd kidnapped her, and taken her to become his bride.

As she moved towards the tree, he let his eyes wander from the face he loved to watch in the night as it slept to the body he'd held. His lips remembered the feel of her body, the path his kisses would trail. His hands remembered the feel of her back and hips as he clung to her. Immediately his body reacted to the recognition, growing hard and needy. The red silk dress clung to her curves even better than it had when he'd bought it for her, taking her rough and muscled form and accenting everything about it that was feminine. She was strong, but she was still as beautiful as he remembered.

Now she was almost under him, and he watched as the breeze caught strands of her black and crimson hair, making them dance as it made the flames of the fire dance. Everything about her, from her scent, her taste, and the very color of her love was raven and blood. He growled at her softly spoken taunt, feeling like a wolf on a cold chain leash, kept just out of reach of a particularly juicy morsel. He pulled the shield from his back, caressing the rough front face of it, covered with the stretched and cured hide of his sister's wing, and grinned.

"You don't think already that this is interesting?" he called down, as he began to carefully make his way from branch to branch, going around and away from her. He knew from experience that Elena was a formidable opponent, especially when angered. He could only imagine how the years had honed her skills. "Don't you remember this place?" he asked, trying to mask the hurt in his voice as he asked. How could she forget the night she sang to the stars and seduced a king?

Looking to the fire, Avery felt magic well up in him and cast a spell. The illusion of darkness came over the fire, surrounding it like a curtain. The clearing grew dim, still lit by the glow of a fire obscured. Only vague whispers of trees could be seen, and Avery dropped down into the clearing. His naked body and hungry eyes were dark, but the steel edge of the shield he carried and the silver finger blades on his hand were glinting and winking like the crowd of stars above them amassed to watch their sad fate.

[Moonlit Raven]

That voice. It froze the air in her lungs even as it sent her heart into a dizzying race. For a moment Elena felt her eyes flutter and roll, a wave of light headiness washed over her. Her nails dug into the bark of the trees behind her as her body threatened to give way beneath her.

“Avery.” Elena whispered breathlessly, confused as conflicting emotions tore at her while she watched him descend from the trees. Love and fear, anger and lust. A small sad smile pulled at the corners of her lips as she took in the hardened look of him.

As the encampment darkened from Avery's power over illusion, recognition sparked and Elena finally recalled the night so long ago where an impulsive man-child had stole into her camp and kidnapped her from life as she knew it.

“I remember. I remember this place.” Elena took a deep breath, catching the faint scent of somea pollen, musk and the elusive wintery scent that was Avery. The familiar blend of scents tugged at memories.

She shook her head, clearing it of the riot of thoughts and emotions. Shifting her weight, Elena slid to the side of the tree, an arm wrapping around it, clinging to something that was solid. Her eyes dropped to the shield and clawed glove. In the faint starlight that reached Avery's shadowy form the silver metal shimmered faintly.

“Still planning on making me submit, Avery, or is this game just designed to hurt?” Elena stepped back into a darker patch of night, moving as quietly as possible as her body tensed, unsure if this encounter would bring pain or pleasure. Elena was sure either would be agony.

[Skie and Avery]

His lip curled upward in a sneer. How could she ask that of him? He'd had nightmares so many times of their last night together, Elena's fear and anger as he'd forced her to submit to him as a wife. Her hate when the deed had been done had been enough to nearly destroy him. He'd spent countless nights blanketed in memories of blood, birthing again in the morning colder, more distant. When Elena had rejected him and run away, he'd soaked in the pain of losing his son, his wife, and his sister all in one fell swoop. The man he was had drowned in his heartache, and now he was born anew.

"You came to me." he answered finally, stalking farther from her, so that the fire was between them. The flames were almost like leaves of black velvet billowing from the circle of stones, flashes of flame and light erupting here and there where the illusion was weakened with the Moontae king's pain. "I didn't come here looking for you. I just came, and waited. How was I to know you'd be the bitch that came through that door?" His last question was an accusation, spit at her like poison. After a moment he took a deep breath and let it out. His voice was tired, worn. "If you want, little bird, run away. Run away and I'll release you and wait for the next unfortunate soul. We can keep pretending that we are alone in this world."

As his last words died on his lips, he could remember a time where he and Skie had been young, and she'd taken him to the great library in Radasanth. He'd curled up against his sister as she'd read him a story. The book, a collection of legends and parables, held one story that had always stayed in his mind. A red thread of fate was tied around the fingers of two souls meant to be together. No matter what happened, how far apart they were, the thread would twist and knot but could never be broken. The two would be forever entwined. Did Elena feel as he did? Breaking in front of her, he could almost feel the shredded remains of thread between them like so many unsaid words.

[Moonlit Raven]

Even as Elena slowly stalked through the shadows, laughter bubble up and spilled over, tasting of ashes and happiness crushed to dust beneath the cruel thumb of fate.

“Yes, I did come but not for you. Something called, poking and prodding at a dying heart until I left that which is most precious to me hidden away in the forests to come here. Perhaps...”Elena chuckled again. “Perhaps I did come for you.”

Elena could almost see the hate and bitterness that ran through Avery, a veritable black vine that coiled around his limbs and gripped his heart in it's torn filled grasp. Absently Elena hummed her innate gift carrying her worry and regret into the air.

“You would let me flee once more?” Elena tore at her lower lip with her teeth in indecision, Verdandi waited for her outside of the city. Though Elena considered her to be safe with Kazmir something could still happen to her intelligent little child. Elena cast a strained glance at Avery and faltered. Cautious as a wild animal she inched closer to the camp, keeping her distance.

“I'm tired, a lot has happened since, since we parted ways.” Elena smiled a self effacing, secretive smile. “I've died and you look...” Elena trailed off, biting back the word feral as she searched for a way to speak without setting off this more volatile version of her husband. “You look hardened.”

At the edge of the camp she scrambled up on to the low hanging branch of a tree, demurely tucking the short skirt under her, out of reach of the playful breeze. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she fiddled with the hilt of her sword, trying to come up with anything to say to Avery but the one thing she wanted to tell him the most. Elena hung her head, looking at her sandaled clad feet to let her hair fall, curtaining her face as she thought.

You have a daughter.

[Skie and Avery]

"All of this is your doing," he said defensively, bringing the shield up to his chest as if he could use it to protect himself from the distance in her voice. She always had such a wonderful way of putting the world at arm's length, putting up walls and doors between them to protect herself, leaving him always searching for keys to bring them closer. This time there was no key, the lock impenetrable. They were two stars in the sky, moving together but never touching. His anger at being shut out started to rise, like bile in his throat. The bitter taste of rejection was only made worse by the calm way she could look at him, the soft touch of her voice that said she regarded him as a stranger now. She may as well have never lain in his bed, hand cupping his face, and told him she loved him.

"I will give you one more chance to walk away, Elena." he said. A cold stone had settled in his chest, sending chills through the rest of his body. That icy touch gripped his stomach, and he found it hard to keep talking, to send her away. He released his grip on the illusion around the fire and the clearing flared to life as the light was once more free. She was so pale, her hair so dark. He couldn't rip his eyes from her, the verdant gaze drinking in her figure once more. Rage was gripping him, fueled by her sight. The more he stared at her, the more he hated her. He hated her for everything she had done. How dare she leave him alone?

He had come to this temple to taste blood and feel bone crush under his fingers. He had walked up the steps demanding death, and he was sacrificing his memories and what love remained on the funeral pyre before them. He had opened this door to find someone to suffer in his place, and if she would not turn and leave, letting someone else take her place, then he would pour his broken, bruised heart and soul into her.

[Moonlit Raven]

Anger simmered beneath the calm Elena forcibly cloaked herself in. She shook her head at Avery's statement.

“Not all, Avery. You had a hand in it as well as your sister. I've fought long and hard to put my anger behind me. You can't live for the past, nothing can change it. It can do nothing but poison the future if you dwell on it.”

Elena gazed at the wing that Avery held as a shield, her eyes slipping over it's rim and up to the anger and hate gleaming in his beautiful emerald eyes. Taking a deep breath Elena slid off her perch, before Avery she stood proud, thinking that she was lucky that a similar set of green eyes would never see this. So much rage.

“If you want to hurt me, then hurt me, husband. I'll not give some unknowing person to your unjustified wrath.” Elena choked on a laugh that was more a sob then anything else, her secret dreams of returning to a loving husband and happiness shattering before her eyes.

“I once understood the Moontae and told Mansematiel 'If you hunger, eat. If you thirst, drink. If you lust... well that goes with out saying. I'll tell you, if you lust for blood and pain, take it.” Drawing her sword she readied herself, nails short and teeth unsharpened. The stray thought that the Ai'brone would not truly leave her dead should the worst happen gladden her heart, Verdandi would not be left orphaned by the man who helped to create her.

[Skie and Avery]

His heart fell but his blood boiled when she did not heed his warning and take his last offer to flee. She turned and ran when their son died, when his sister betrayed her entire race, when his entire world was falling apart, but now she would stand? Where was this resolve and strength of heart when he needed his wife most? When he wanted to curl into her, sobbing and clinging to the last place of safety and love? They could have supported each other through the storm. Instead, she'd moved on as easily as she'd moved away. Could it have something to do with the precious thing she left in the forest? The sudden vision of Elena in another man's arms flared into Avery's mind. He growled, the sound something between a curse and a hiss, as the pain rocked him.

The woman before him was not the wife he remembered, the woman who vowed to always stand beside him. She was not the queen that he had given a kingdom to. She seemed dirtier to him, a stained and tattered reproduction of the woman he once held dear. Her sword was pointing towards him, a finger accusing him. How was any of this his fault? Avery couldn't believe that he was being made into the villain here. The demon king had suffered, hadn't he? He'd been the one to stagnate under his sorrow.

"To give the me the greatest love I've ever known and wait until everything else was gone to rip it away?" he roared, his voice shaking, almost too loud in his own ears. He could feel the anger throbbing through him, tightening his chest, white flashing across his vision. "You understand nothing! Heartless!" He exploded across the fire, feeling the flames lick at his legs, burning his skin as he jumped through the blaze. His arm covered in the shield swiped at her sword and he twisted behind it, a clawed hand reaching for her neck.

[Moonlit Raven]

Elena let her sword drop from her hand on contact, the sound of metal and leather striking the ground unimportant as his words rang through her mind.

“Heartless!” She hissed at him, her hold on her temper fraying as his grip tightened on her throat. Elena chose to ignore the sharp pricks of his claws digging into her skin and the warm tickling feeling of blood seeping form the shallow punctures.

Elena threaded both hands up into his hair, bunching the rough silk-like strands in her curled, clawed fingers. Mink brown eyes blazing with old hurts, she stared down Avery. “Me, me me me! It's all about you isn’t it Avery? You think I don't understand. You needed me, too much you needed me, to help you stay standing.I had no strength to give you, I am not Moontae, hell I am not even human! All I asked for was time to hide like any grieving mother and patch my wounded heart. What was your response? To use my body by force, hoping that physical pleasure was enough to make me cleave to you.” Her hands tightened cruelly in his hair and yanked his head closer so she could whisper in his ear.

“You're not the only one that lost that day, husband mine. Your seed bore fruit, a daughter. Only four months I carried her, I died in childbirth, my heart stopping as she slid from my body. If not for a friend attending me I would have drifted away from this world.” Hissing only part of the truth of her past in his ear she wrenched herself from his grasp, her hands darting up to the bleeding scratches ringing her throat. In her anger Elena hoped that the bits of truth she gave him would hurt him rather than soothe his wound ego.

“You've had the blood and pain you feel I owe you. If you wish for more, you'll work for it and I'll take my due as well.” Elena ripped away the tattered veil of calm she had been clinging too. Dropping into a crouch, she drank in the shape of his body and his scent. Some distant voice in her mind told her that was most likely their final meeting and parting of ways.

[Skie and Avery]

He stared at her neck, where his hold had cut into the skin. He focused on her blood because it was easier to watch the crimson droplets form and run down all that alabaster skin than it was to really take in her words. I have a daughter. The thought was a distant whisper, and he swallowed. Somehow his knees had gone weak, his legs shaking until he dropped to the ground. His eyes fell from her to the grass, the dark blades trampled where they had struggled together just moments before. A patch of clover was valiantly peering up, torn leaves pushed down to the soil. The clover blurred and a hot flood washed over his eyes. After a moment Avery realized that he was crying, that despite the fire just behind him warming his back, he was still shuddering with cold.

He finally ripped his gaze up to her, searching her eyes. "Liar." he whispered. Even as he said it, the word felt wrong. Elena would never have lied to him, would she? Everything he was told him that what she said was true, that he had a daughter that he would now never see. He shivered again, clutching at his chest with his clawed hand, shaking his head. No, he had to believe that she was lying, tricking him. A bright thought had sprang up, a happy home filled with laughter, Elena in his arms, their daughter growing strong and happy. It was the life he'd always seen for them and their son, but Netimrael was stolen from them as soon as he was born. That life, that home was gone, though. He could never return to it, the wounds too deep, the hope dying before him.

"Get out." he finally said, his breath heaving as panic and rage fought for control of him. His hand pulled back and he threw the shield as hard as he could, the hide and steel flying through the air and hitting the trunk of a tree with a dull thud. "Get out!" he screamed, grimacing at the woman he once loved. "Just leave!" he bellowed, slamming his fists into the ground and allowing panic to take over, heaving and sobbing into the dirt.

[Moonlit Raven]

Elena looked down on the wretched man before her and shook her head fighting with the sea of rage she carried within her. Drawing in a shaking breath she shook her head at Avery.

“I haven't lied to you. Never have I lied, though I may not have always shared the entirety of the truth with you in our past happy days. I would be ashamed to have my little Verdandi see you like this. The man before me is not my husband nor my children's father.”

Elena wiped the drying blood on her hands on her dress and stooped to retrieve her sword. Talking once last glance at the heart poisoned man she turned away and stalked towards the shadowy embrace of the forest. At the edge of the campfire's reach, Elena paused and called back over her shoulder, not wanting to look back.

“Find yourself Moontae King and be rid of what haunts you, or do those that loved you a favor and end it so we'll have only pleasant memories to remember you by.” Elena looked around at the nighttime forest, the last dregs of her anger serving to enhance her senses, seeing only sparsely growing ground plants and towering trees she looked up at the few stars visible in the holes of the canopy. “Ai'brone, let em out. You'll not have your battle this day.” She yelled up at the trees.

Garishly out of place, a simple wooden door appeared a few paces off. Elena shoved the door open then paused as the voice of someone speaking in the hall drifted in.

“ ... but Neti, mom will be angry.” Elena caught the familiar tones of her daughter. Panic slammed into her heart, Elena rushed into the hall, slamming the door shut behind her.

“Verdandi! What are you doing here?” Elena yelled as she caught up her daughter and hurried down the halls, waving away an Ai'brone as he offered to heal her wounds.

“Neti told me if I waited for you here, I'd see dad. I want to see my dad.” Verdandi whined, sounding like the 5 year old child she resembled. Elena closed her eyes for a moment, her steps slowing as the old ache of losing her first born settled over her again.

“Your brother is here again? Sweetling, the man in that room wasn't... Your daddy is sick sweetheart, something is wrong with him and it's not safe for you or me to be near him. Remember when Kazmir got very grumpy and angry when he had a thorn caught in the crease of his shell? It's a lot like that.” Elena prayed to every deity that she could think of that Verdandi would accept her reasoning. As minutes passed and Verdandi stayed still and quiet in her arms Elena wondered what was going through her daughter's mind.

“Dad's the reason why you are hurt.” Verdandi said, her little voice dull as she stared at the drying blood on Elena's neck. Elena shrugged a little.

“Kazmir bit me when I was trying to help him, at least daddy isn't poisonous too.” Elena joking and smiling to take the grim expression off of her daughter's face.

“Will he get better?” Elena shrugged again, fighting to not let the tears she felt were threatening to form and fall.

“Did you bring your poppet with you?” Elena smiled when Verdandi held up a little doll made of scraps of fine cloths. “We'll leave it beside the door for your daddy to find when he comes out.” Turning around, Elena set off at a near run, anxious to finish this little task and leave the city before Avery left the arena. Her mind raced furiously, plotting how quickly she could leave Corone while not making Verdandi sick from exhaustion. Elena slowed as she spotted the Ai'brone monk that had first lead her to the arena still waiting by the door.

“I'm going to leave this by the door for my dad.” Verdandi said as she squirmed out of Elena's grasp, running over to the monk and showing him the obviously worn and well-loved doll. Verdandi took a moment to pick just the right spot by the door and placed the brightly colored doll with great care. In a childish burst that surprised Elena, Verdandi hugged the monk's knees before she ran back to her mother.

“Ready?” Elena asked, scooping her Verdandi once more.

“Yep, think dad will find it?” Verdandi ask as she waved to the monk.

“I'm not sure and no, we are not staying to watch."

[Skie and Avery]

"I should be rid of you!" he growled when the door shut behind Elena. He stared out into the darkness of the forest, the birch trees rising like bones in the firelight. Reaching behind him, he found a stone from the edge of the fire, hot from the flames. Even though his hand burned, he hurled it into the shadows, screaming a wordless curse at the night, at Elena, at Skie for destroying the only piece of heaven he might ever have had. Tears still falling, he thought about Elena, hate rising up as he thought about the woman. He'd loved her with all the brightness in his heart, all the love an incubus could summon up from the all the planes. In her cold way, it hadn't been enough.

Should he just end it all now? What more did he have left? A kingdom that barely needed a king, a broken family, a cold and lonely bed. He stood after a moment and turned back to the fire, watching it dance and flare. The crackle of wood burning, the smell of pine and birch aflame were all familiar. His chill persisted. Since the terrible knowledge of a family growing away from him, he could not feel warm. If he took a step forward and let this be his funeral pyre, would he finally find reprieve from this chill?

To burn up and be forever lost to history sounded almost comforting now. He let a foot move forward, into the fire. Flames licked up his leg but this time he pulled back from the pain, hissing and groaning as the heat exploded up his calf. It was worse than the cut of a blade, biting deep and staying. He hopped and hobbled backwards, his lips pursed and teeth clenched as he glared at the fire. Not even death was on his side. Avery's muscles tensed and he leaned forward, envisioning himself just running and letting himself fall into the logs and cinders. Somehow he couldn't bring himself to move, to make that leap. Besides, his mind told him, he would only be brought back to life. Why die when it wasn't even a decent escape?

A voice behind him startled him. "Should I find you another opponent?"

Avery turned to see a monk standing beside the open door. Beyond him, the dark hallway to the Citadel awaited, almost hovering in the dark of the edge of the forest. Avery thought for a moment and then shook his head before stalking over to retrieve his shield.

"I'll be back tomorrow, and the next. Never again let me see that woman." he growled as they left the arena together. As the door shut, Avery glanced over his shoulder to see the last glimpse of a star-filled sky watching over the lonely campfire, the empty bedroll. As he moved aside in the hallway, his foot brushed against something soft, sending it sliding away. Without thinking, he picked it up and examined it. It was a simple rag doll, tied and sewn from colorful cloth. He turned it over in his hands, his thumb moving over a worn scrap of blue fabric. He held it up to his face, feeling the soft, worn body of the doll with his lips. He inhaled it's scent, somehow comforting and familiar even though he couldn't quite place it.

"Ah, a child left that here for you." the voice behind him said. "She was waiting for her mother when she left the arena, you have quite a lovely daughter."

"Little Verdandi," Avery whispered, taking in the scent on the doll once more before he turned and began to leave. He'd worshiped long enough in the temple of torture today, and emotional exhaustion was creeping up his spine, threatening to level him here and now. Besides, he had plenty to reflect on. Elena had been right, of course, as she always was. He was in no fit shape to father a child, to be a husband, to reclaim his family. His mind thought back on the dark day that had set this all into motion, and the form of his sister. Skie had been the cause of this, the very reason why his entire world had come undone. He had taken her wing, stolen from her all that made them kin. But still, knowing the full damage that had been done, it was not enough. Avery steeled himself for what he must do. His magic and strength were still not enough to take down the demon that had tarnished the beautiful life he had built, but it would be.

When he was ready, Skie dan Sabriel would die.

[Dissinger]

Judgment: A Lonely Chord
Music: Dying Breed – Five Finger Death Punch

Plot ~ 13 /30

Story ~ 4 / 10 – This story is very disjoined. The biggest problem I had was in finding the flow of it, one played off the other but in such a disjointed way that it created a situation where I was actually wondering just what the hell was going on. More on that later. Suffice to say your story was more of the climax of a larger tale, and I feel like I missed out by not having that larger tale about.

Setting ~ 6 / 10 – The forest clearing was there, and there was some interaction with the terrain. The use of hot and cold was definitely there, my problem was the setting was still a backdrop in ways. Only one facet of it was ever used at a time, and even then there was times where the setting seemed off.

Pacing ~ 3 / 10 – Pacing was fast, too fast. I never got quite a chance to grip what was going on before the next salvo of story was shoved down my throat. I understand this work was meant to be some kind of epiphany for both sides involved, but my problem became that the epiphany wasn’t that good…

Character ~ 14 /30

Communication ~ 5 / 10 – Dialogue was believable, only in the aspect that it definitely sounded like two people tearing into each other. The problem with communication is that there is vocal and non-vocal. The non-vocal queues are just as important. Skie and Avery got points for showing me fear in the person. Remember that people don’t just feel there are other means of showing emotion.

Action ~ 4 / 10 – I really couldn’t get a feel for any of the action. Avery jumped over the fire but didn’t clear it, so he got singed. There was the tree climbing, I have no sense of the norms for these characters. Is Avery a predator or a scavenger? Elena was more believable in this category as well, the maternal scenes melding well with her irritation at Avery for being an emotional git.

Persona ~ 5 / 10 – Avery comes off confusing; it’s hard to gauge where he is. Perhaps that was the point of this thread, but without any foundation to go off of, I cannot award points on persona as it’s all over the place. The confusion wasn’t fully fleshed out either, as he didn’t give me a sense of what he SHOULD have been; only what he COULD have been. When working with character dilemmas such as this, it helps to again establish that baseline. Again Elena as the disillusioned wife who is now devoted entirely to her daughter helped get you more points.

Prose ~ 13 /30

Mechanics ~ 5 /10 – Typos were scattered through the thread, as well as the abrupt shortness of sentences. They became very choppy with the shortened structure, rather than giving a sense of urgency. Also the multiple small paragraphs hurt as well, especially since a few sentences could be lumped together. When working through an idea that should constitute one paragraph. All sentences related to that particular idea should be included together, with a change in paragraph happening when you approach a new facet (such as attacking the idea from a new angle or inverting it), or change the idea entirely.

Clarity~ 4 /10 – Repeating your actions in two separate sentences hurts this score. Even more was some confusion caused at the beginning of the thread by Elena. Was the camp set up or was it going to be set up? When you mention a camp, you imply the camp is already created and there will not be any further work required. If you want to mention the campsite, that’s a different matter as now we’re talking about a specific location. Small things like this hurt the clarity of the thread as I have to stop and re-read the paragraph to make sure I didn’t miss anything.

Technique ~ 4 /10 – This thread contained some bare-bone writing, and it shows. This category hurt so much because I know you guys can do better; I’ve read both of you enough to see what you are capable of. I got the majority of this thread being rather factual than fictional. We’re writing a story about two people who once loved each other coming to the realization one of them is obsessed with their goals, and that they’ve destroyed any chance of the happy ending. There should be more allegory, more metaphor.

Wildcard: 5 / 10 A decent enough read, I just felt the short length and the lack of any exploration of the character’s relationship beyond them yelling at each other hurt you guys. This felt more like a part of a grander story taken out, cut up and the edited version being presented as its own content. I felt this story could have been expanded upon more, to give the reader a full feeling of completeness. This felt more of a “Let’s get this pesky story out of the way to get what we want to do!”

Total ~ 45 /100

Moonlit Raven gets 600 EXP and 150 GP!
Skie and Avery gets 700 EXP and 150 GP! Skie and Avery also receive the small doll.