Opinions wanted

[Thorne]

Alright, I've been working on this alt. for about half-an-hour, and was looking for some general opinions.

Feel free to be as brutally honest as you like, or boost my already vast ego...


Name: Ulrik, The Slayer

Age: 27 winters

Race: Human (Ursinthrope)

Hair: Ulrik keeps his long sable hair braided in a tall, matted topknot, braided with small bones and teeth- kill trophies collected over the years.

Eyes: The ursinthrope's eyes give him away as not being completely human. The irises are a bright, luminous yellow.

Height: 6' 7''

Weight: 239 lbs

Occupation: Gladiator, pit fighter, hunter of men

Skills: Axeman- Ulrik's first and foremost weapon, while in human form, is his axe. The countless fights in his career have made him more than proficient with its use, and he can use it to great effect. There are few who can match him for axecraft in Althanas.

Hunting- Ulrik has had decades of practice hunting both large game- from Salvaran wolves, to mammoths- and other, more sentient creatures. He is adept at both tracking, and ambushing his prey, whether animal, human, elf or even demon. This is both in man-flesh, and his bestial form.

First aid- Throughout the innumerable battles Ulrik has participated in, he has had to learn how to deal with all types of wounds. Anything from lacerations and burns, to severed limbs. He hasn't made a habit of healing others, but back when he travelled with his tribe, all members had to look out for each other, especially after the fighting was done.

Weapon and armour maintenance- this is fairly self explanatory; this includes honing, cleaning and repairing his gear. Admittedly, cleaning is rare in the extreme, unless one counts lapping the blood from his blades pre-slaughter.

Butchery- Ulrik was taught from the moment he lifted his first blade how to take kill-trophies from the slain. He knows how to remove bone cleanly, skin victims, and braid sinews to make necklaces. It also means he can eat those he kills believing (as his tribe believed) that they take a portion of their opponents' power. This skill will not see him invited to many tea-parties.

Abilities: Berserker- For a warrior-born, there is no truer pleasure than the screams of battle, the clash of steel, the smell of blood and viscera. A true killer does not let something as banal as wounds stop him from fighting.

When Ulrik taps in to his Beast, he becomes a towering berserker, severing limbs with every swing of his blades, rampaging through the enemy like a scythe through wheat, shrugging off wounds like gnats on a bear.

This ability allows the Slayer to temporarily become an avatar of war, granting him the strength and speed of two men, as well as a temporary increase to his damage resistance. Going berserk does leave the warrior exhausted for at least an hour afterwards, as his muscles react to the incredible stress put on them. He cannot go berserk more than once a day. ((Or once per thread, lasting three posts))

Unleash the Beast- After two decades, Ulrik has managed to attain a high degree of control over the Beast raging within his soul. He can control when he unleashes it's power, determining when the Turning comes over him.

When he releases the Beast, he undergoes a hideous transformation, as his muscles swell and warp, bursting through his flesh, his skin sloughing off him in bloody tatters. His bones crack and snap as they reform, his face morphing into an elongated snout, while wiry hairs push through from between his sinews. This transformation is indescribably painful, taking slow minutes to complete, which does leave the berserker open to attack during the process. But there is no feeling Ulrik enjoys more- for beyond the physical torment, the release of the other half of his soul is a pleasure beyond compare.

When his Beast is fully unshackled, Ulrik becomes a monstrous bear, easily nine feet tall and weighing in at over three hundred pounds, his razor-keen claws easily able to tear through iron, his jaws able to puncture wood like it was paper. Extreme mental conditioning allows him to maintain a semblance of his human personality in this form, but he has not yet learned to fully master the rage that burns white-hot within.

All within reach become possible targets for his insatiable bloodlust.

Regeneration- His thereanthrope heritage has granted Ulrik more than a few benefits. One of the main ones is the way it hastens his metabolism, allowing him to heal wounds at an accelerated rate. His flesh reknits, closing up all but fatal wounds, given enough time- even regrowing lost limbs over a period of months or years. He heals twice as fast as any human.

Appearance:

Personality:

Usual Garments and Armour:

Weapons: As a warrior-born, Ulrik takes the craft of war very seriously. War and Death are his gods, and his weapons the tools of his worship. Each sharpened blade and spike is a testament to his faith.

The first of his holy icons is the huge double-bladed battleaxe Gorechild. Christened in the blood of scores every time it is drawn in war, this weapon is forged of meteoric iron, crafted centuries ago by warrior-priests of his tribe. The blades are kept razor-edged at all times. The barbed haft is made of the same meteoric iron, making the entire weapon as hard as steel, though heavier, and it will never rust or tarnish. The axe is a true masterwork, however, seeming to fit perfectly the hand of whoever owns it. The grip is wrapped in the tanned flesh of its previous owner- only by defeating the wielder in ritual combat can a warrior claim Gorechild, and only in death will he relinquish it. The intricate prayers tooled into the metal are coated with the collected blood of thousands, staining them permanently black- some legends within the tribe hold that while the metal is stained with vitae, so to is its wielder's soul stained with hate.

Hanging from chains at his heavy belt is Ulrik's war seax. This blade is the length of a normal man's forearm, its blade a simple, leaf-shaped piece of steel. The pommel is a stylised skull, haloed by small stabbing spikes, meaning it can easily gut an enemy without the blade even being drawn. The seax is used mainly before and after battle, for Ulrik's ritual scarifications and bloodletting, and for claiming the weapon hands and skulls of those he has bested.

The last in this unholy trinity of bloodshed is the vicious steel shield Ulrik usually wields with Gorechild. The weight of it alone is enough to cave in a man's skull, and with the addition of the spikes ringing its outer edge, the berserker's shield epitomises the old adage- the best defense is a good offense. Acid etched into its face is an ancient symbol of his tribe's War God, soaked in too many bloody benedictions to count.

These are the weapons Ulrik bears when he wears man-flesh; when his Beast is unleashed, the ursinthrope uses only the weapons natural to his form- namely the enormous, rending claws at the end of his huge paws, and the dagger teeth lining his maw.

Inventory: Whetstone, oil and cloth, flensing knife, carved bone icons and fetishes, assorted needles and vials of blood-ink

History:

[absentwizard]

When berserk happens, does anything untoward happen to the higher mental functions like with ursinomorphication?

Your bear-form weights are way off. A 9-foot bear weighs approximately about 1500 +/- 200 pounds. A 300-pound bear would be about 5 feet tall, which leads to the amusing image of you shrinking as you turn into a bear.

I am confused as to how to get claws that can tear through iron, given that keratinous claws are just fingernails, only larger. Sharpening the thing doesn't help since the victim material is stronger and pressure is always applied equally. To put it in perspective, iron is something like 10 times stronger than a fingernail, pressure-for-pressure. If you have a different material for claws or magical enhancements for claws, you should note that.

Meteoric iron is notoriously bad for making weapons out of. The high nickel content makes it hard but brittle. The lack of carbon inclusions reduces overall toughness. Basically, it'll keep an edge and cut well, but is very susceptible to chipping, cracking, and fracturing every time you hit anything with it. It is similar to swinging around a big ceramic blade; hard, sharp, and shatter-prone. You can toughen it with basic metallurgical techniques, but that's by removing most of the nickel content that makes it meteoric iron in the first place. Given that you've noted that the weapon never rusts or tarnishes, it probably has a very high nickel content and additionally has chromium inclusions.

What are you using to stabilize the blood and prevent clotting in your blood-ink?

[Thorne]

1) yes, the berserk state tends to leave him a little unbalanced, and prone to lashing out at anyone within reach. I will edit that in, thank you.

2) Thank you for the corrections on weight.

3) I'm just thinking a property of his were-bear condition, obviously as a magical creature, he will be slightly different to your average bear. I've seen people with telekinetic cables, the ability to rewind time, people plotting to become orphan killing plague bombs, morph into cats, empathically experience others' memories, etc. :P I don't think this is too out of the ordinary.

4) I was going for adamantine, as in D&D and Pathfinder, which is described as "metal that fell from the Heavens". Just didn't want to take the name exactly. I may just change it to prevent further misunderstanding.

5) Ancient Chinese Secret. (... ok, it's a blend of willow, fennel and thyme, for the mix of salicin, magnesium, quercetin, estragol, etc.)

[absentwizard]

I wanted to make sure that we differentiate between "turns into a bear" and "turns into a magically-enhanced bear". If you were the D&D sort, it's the difference between turning into a bear and turning into a bear plus Greater Magic Fang.

[Thorne]

Oh, no I get where you're coming from mate, and I appreciate the questions.

All in all, you're helping me iron out the wrinkles. So, much obliged.

[Mordelain]

Well, after that mind-numbing science lesson...

Have you thought about a different name? Ulfric is...well, a little too Nordic for my liking. I appreciate artistic endeavours are personal, but there's a billion and one possibilities you could play around with here.

Apart from that, good concept, good execution, and hopefully, he's a bearable addition to your roster!

Yes, I so went there, whatchya gonna do?

[Thorne]

Well, I've considered Ezra, Khalaxis or Kol Badar. =/

[absentwizard]

You also need to specify the constraints on the reverse transformation; perhaps, like temporary drug addiction, he doesn't want to go back once unleashed. Additional constraints need to be specified: how often, whether it can be done reflexively, what happens if he's taken unconscious, etc etc.

Additionally, I notice that you seem to be missing a few skills. Cooking comes to mind, though it's possible that he just eats everything raw after being beared.

[Thorne]

Well, he can transform at will, but the return is much harder. It takes a good while for him to calm enough to change back, and even then, it causes him severe emotional distress. He'll be able to Turn during a thread, but not turn back if he's, say, in a battle, or distracted in any significant way. When he's unconscious, he returns to his human form.

And as for the cooking, I covered that under butchery. I didn't specify whether he cooks it or not. :P Ancient werebear secret, you understand?

[absentwizard]

So, technically speaking, he could Turn and then, after he's done being beary angry at things, headbutt himself unconscious against the nearest cliff so he transforms back?

Also, I notice that he goes around butt-naked, with his soldier flapping around in the breeze. There's the modesty thing, but also the question of whether he knows how to sew given that any clothes that he wears would explode off of him when he bears.

[Thorne]

Nope. He hates being forced to Turn back if he can avoid it, so he would never knock himself out just to end it. He loves the sense of freedom too much to willingly end it.

And that'll be covered when I write in apparel and armour. I plan a simple kilt, fur breeches, boots, and some scraps of armour. That's about it. As for sewing, I may throw that in, but the fur breeches are replaceable, and the kilt is held in place by a simple brooch, so would come off easily. I may even reconsider going without the boots... I planned to have him retain some of the bestial aspects when he's in human form. Thinking claws instead of fingernails, fangs and eyes.

[absentwizard]

So, he's usually a bear and only occasionally turns into a human, usually for the thumbs. You should write your descriptions and abilities in the reverse order, in that case. You play as a bear that sometimes turns into a human, since he likes the bear form much more. And it solves the whole naked problem.

And can he berserk while a bear?

[Thorne]

No-no, I'm not explaining this properly. Hmm...

He is a human, raised to be at one with the Beast Inside, but he knows he cannot fully control it. The ultimate aim is to achieve complete unity, retaining his personality while in his bear form. He loves the freedom while in this form, but he doesn't want to lose his identity.

And no, he can't. The berserking is part of his training as a warrior, and when he's a bear, he already has the strength and speed of a bear. Which puts him above his human norm.

[absentwizard]

Ah. And here I was imagining that if he went berserk while being a bear, he would have the strength and speed of TWO bears, which is obviously more than one bear.

Hang on a second; the point of having an identity is to have the freedom to express it. He has more freedom in the bear form to express his identity with. If what you intend is that the bear form only knows rage and his identity is not about the rage, then the bear form has less freedom compared to the human form, since he's effectively putting himself under mind control when turning into a bear.

I think you need to find a different concept than "freedom".

[Thorne]

Again, lack of sleep- making it hard for me to properly convey my ideas.

When he Turns, he knows only rage, and can't really control himself. It becomes more a case of acting out of anger and instinct. He wants to be able to retain his control, and his thoughts, personality, etc. while still having his bestial form. Or, maybe he'll end up achieving a war-form. Half-man, half-bear? I'm not sure yet, just tossing around ideas.

[absentwizard]

So, he loves the sense of raging too much to willingly end it. Since he doesn't willingly end it and loves the feeling, presumably he wakes up at dawn, becomes Angry Bear, and spends the day as Angry Bear, and only goes back to human when he takes a nap.

Psychologically speaking, you're missing a reason for him to spend any time in human form. He wants to retain control in bear form but when he's in bear form he doesn't care about that anymore.

[Thorne]

Touché

But he understands his natural form is as much human, as is his bear form. He wants to achieve perfect unity in body and mind. Again, I know I'm explaining this poorly, but I got maybe an hour's sleep, and I'm out of fags. So my head's not really in good working order.

[Abbie]

Well, I've considered Ezra, Khalaxis or Kol Badar. =/

For the record, Ezra is better, but I am growing to love Kol Badar.

[absentwizard]

So let's review the question: What makes him stop being Angry Bear?

[Thorne]

Abbie- I'll admit, I stole it from a character in one of my books. Still, it is a bad-ass name.

absentwizard- mental conditioning, and training. He knows to stay as a bear too long before he has mastered it is to lose himself to become a mindless animal.

[Letho]

Bloody Christ, absentwizard, he's making a character sheet, not a fricking manual on being a bear-man.

[Thorne]

Now there's an idea Letho...

[absentwizard]

There you go. So, we replace "He hates being forced to Turn back if he can avoid it... He loves the sense of freedom too much to willingly end it." with "He enjoys the freedom to rage while being a bear, but is cautious and Turns back before he loses himself." Now we have the balance between being a bear and being a man on both forms. He restrains himself while being a bear so that he could come back at all, so he treats the bear form much like some people treat recreational drug use.

Maybe I'm just crazy, but I write a small, personal manual on being my own characters for each character. Itera has a few pages that helps her decisions. It's like WWID (What Would I___ Do?) and that is a joke. Ha ha.

[Zook Murnig]

Bloody Christ, absentwizard, he's making a character sheet, not a fricking manual on being a bear-man.

To be fair, it is always a good idea to get the specifics of the mindset and metaphysics of a character out of the way as early as possible. This potentially makes the writing more detailed and believable, thereby immersing the reader.

[Letho]

Yes, that's one way to look at it. On the other hand you can end up with a rigid character with very little room for exploring the different facets. Because when you start off with a character sheet, you can't always be absolutely certain that's the exact character you really want to play down to the T. At least I don't, so I'd advise to leave enough room to adjust as necessary once you try the character out. Because you might find yourself halfway through the first story and realizing that something you so distinctly set in stone in the character sheet isn't exactly what you want.

[Mordelain]

And does science really apply to a lycanthrope?

[Abbie]

I don't know, I apply a modicum of science to most of my characters. Even Abbie is allergic to unrefined ferrous metals due to the fact that she is created from dreams and the metal is too real for her system to handle.

[Zook Murnig]

Does science apply to casting magic spells of fireballs?

Yes. Yes it can. Conservation of energy, thermodynamics, and other aspects of physics can be applied to said fireballs. (I read a lot of Dresden Files.)

The effects of mass on gravity, momentum, velocity, acceleration, force, power, etc. can be applied to lycanthropy (or ursinthropy), especially as one masters their abilities. One might decide that they want to be able to do partial-shifts as part of their combat style, changing a fist into a paw for example, and the added mass informs the degree of added power, reduced acceleration, etc.

In the paraphrased words of Harry Dresden, magic "still has to do business with physics."

And as for the character sheet, this stuff doesn't have to be in it, but it can inform your decisions with regards to abilities and tactics.

[Abbie]

(I read a lot of Dresden Files.)

This...


In the paraphrased words of Harry Dresden, magic "still has to do business with physics."

And this. Zook, you're my hero, lol!

[Mordelain]

But in applying such laud physics and innately real world considerations to a fantasy concept, aren't you in fact working against the very point of creative writing in a primarily fantasy setting to begin with?

[Abbie]

But in applying such laud physics and innately real world considerations to a fantasy concept, aren't you in fact working against the very point of creative writing in a primarily fantasy setting to begin with?

Not at all. This creates a more believable character, and allows for detailed descriptions on how these things work in posts.

[Zook Murnig]

No. Just working within it with more of a science-fiction and realist approach.

[Hysteria]

Science and magic are just devices to help us craft our art arn't they? If we get too tangled in science it becomes a leash which constrains our writing. For example while is fine to say that the increase in mass would increase the character's strength, but when we start limiting the amount the person's body can not grow because of the laws around conservation of mass then it starts to go too far. Another example is using science to limit the distance we can throw a high temperature fireball because the increase oxidization require to sustain increased heat would cause the faster burning of the fuel.

That is to say, being too 'MAGIC DID IT!' can be as equally damaging.

The only thing I'd say about this character is that in the first few threads you might want to feel your way through his personality. At the moment he is just a beast, I am not sure how much fun that would be across different threads. How many times can you scream with rage and charge at people?

[Rayse Valentino]

But in applying such laud physics and innately real world considerations to a fantasy concept, aren't you in fact working against the very point of creative writing in a primarily fantasy setting to begin with?

The whole point of fantasy is to apply real world considerations to a surreal concept.

Also:

"Novice fantasy authors too typically let their imaginations run wild when they create their fantasy worlds and characters. While fantasy and science fiction may overturn the rules of the natural world as far as what is possible, readers will not suspend their disbelief if that disbelief is tested too much. Making the unbelievable believable in a fantasy world requires adhering to some rules, even if they are completely make-believe rules themselves." - http://www.readerviews.com/Articles-Writing_Creating_Suspension_Of_Disbelief.html

[absentwizard]

Someone who says that something is constrained because of science does not have sufficient imagination to make it work. For getting the effects that one wants, one can simply invent new science... so long as it is consistent. The point of applying science to things is to think things through and also be surprised at the fallout that occurs.

Consider: Problem 1) Need more strength. Solution 1) Make the person bigger. Problem 2) Weight goes up with cube of size but strength (muscle cross-sectional area) only goes up with square of size. Solution 2) Make the person's muscles more powerful per unit mass. Problem 3) More powerful muscles fracture bones, whose strength only goes up with square of size as well. 4) Make the person's bones stronger per unit mass. 5) Result: Person is larger, has novel types of muscles that are stronger for size, has novel types of bones that are stronger for size. Notice 6) The person would have achieved more strength if just had stronger bones and muscles. 7) Result: Cancel larger size and stay with the stronger muscles and bones.

Consider: Problem 1) Person needs to grow larger but must obey the law of conservation of mass. Solution 1) Make the person take and convert mass from environment, especially air. Notice 2) Growing to 9 feet tall increases mass by 400 kg and requires 400 cubic meters of air. Pulling it over a few seconds from surroundings would make a destructive implosion. Notice 3) This implies that the person can do alchemy to convert from air to meatish bits. Result) New directions for future abilities!

Consider: Problem 1) Fireball burns through fuel faster and limits range. Solution 1) Fireball only ignites on impact, otherwise just has a small pilot flame.

[Thorne]

Does science apply to casting magic spells of fireballs?

Yes. Yes it can. Conservation of energy, thermodynamics, and other aspects of physics can be applied to said fireballs. (I read a lot of Dresden Files.)

The effects of mass on gravity, momentum, velocity, acceleration, force, power, etc. can be applied to lycanthropy (or ursinthropy), especially as one masters their abilities. One might decide that they want to be able to do partial-shifts as part of their combat style, changing a fist into a paw for example, and the added mass informs the degree of added power, reduced acceleration, etc.

In the paraphrased words of Harry Dresden, magic "still has to do business with physics."

And as for the character sheet, this stuff doesn't have to be in it, but it can inform your decisions with regards to abilities and tactics.

I too am a fan. :P

Just because you're paranoid, doesn't mean there isn't an invisible demon about to eat your face.

And, iirc, that sort of magic (working out formulae, and the physics of magick) is known as hermetic magic. At least, in Shadowrun :P

[Thorne]

And does science really apply to a lycanthrope?

And though I hate being this pedantic, I have to make a small correction (OCD, forgive me)-

Lycanthrope is a werewolf.
Therianthrope is the term for human changing into animal.

[Rayse Valentino]

I prefer the term were-bear.

[Mordelain]

Then I'll leave you all to it and carry on writing, then.

[Hysteria]

Consider: Problem 1) Fireball burns through fuel faster and limits range. Solution 1) Fireball only ignites on impact, otherwise just has a small pilot flame.

If you are happy changing your attack/spell/move, or if you like having this sort of detail or just delving into 'how' then this is fine. I guess the point I was trying to make was that as soon as it becomes a hindrance you should step away.

For Talen I've evolved his being over an extended period of time, I created him as a blank slate in terms of what he was and how his magic worked and felt my way through. I settled on a sort of dark-energy being and then fleshed it out from there. If he was composed of energy that could manifest into physical form, what would that sort of complete control allow? He can speed up or slow down the energy in his arms, causing extreme high or low temperature. As well as manipulating his own energy he can bring across more from the 'other side' which allows him to increase his size, use his liquid spells and his illusions. For his liquid he can either create it in a stable or unstable form and high or low adhesion. Using these two scales he can create sticky flammable liquid or slippery water-like liquid and all between. I have left this 'other side' as a vague dimension that overlays our own, but it doesn't seem to serve a point trying to define it more.

[absentwizard]

Solution 2) Fireball carries more fuel, compressed.
Solution 3) Fireball actually converts atmospheric nitrogen to hydrogen, then reacts it with oxygen for the fire. Hilarious: It is technically a steamball now.
Solution 4) Fireball does not actually burn, but simply is a a thermal mass being thrown. Simple to increase heat capacity.

[Tinker Kid]

On the front of the character. I second on the bear mass, but respectful disagreement with the wizard on claws and axes; claws do approximate fingernails, however there's more to the structure than being made of keratin, and more to its' effectiveness than its' place on the Mohs scale. Hair is made of keratin too, and is obviously less hard than fingernails, and obsidian is harder than steel but will shatter like nobody's business if you try to stab a breastplate with an obsidian dagger. All that is to say I actually think you're totally right about normal bear claws vs steel, but I can easily imagine claws that have secondary structures that improve their strength, or are composite with other biological materials. Maybe we can invoke nanotubes! =D =D =D

On the topic of Science in my Fiction, and in particular @Mordelian: I think the crux of it is that, no matter the format, good stories are true, even if they're set in an imaginary world filled with dragons... no one is saying "that is unphysical, YOU CAN'T DO THAT"; I mean we're talking about a werebear who can gain 1200lbs in a few minutes and completely rebuild his anatomy. Which is awesome. The point is that, even in fantasy, you can ask yourself "how does this work? Why does this work?" And if you know the answers to those questions, it informs how you tell the story, and talk about the world around you. It lends the work a sense of credibility, of depth, and, even in fantastic lands, a sense of truth. He's asking about claws and steel and conservation of mass not because breaking those rules are BAD, but because we're operating in a world where things work in a way presumed to be like the real world except where noted. So steel's still made of atoms, bears are still made of cells... so it's interesting to wonder what happens.

I do put a LOT of 'science' into my fantasy, but straight up my absolute favorite setting to play in is an alternate reality where very truly the laws of physics as we know them just don't exist. The world is made up of threads of elemental power which knit together the world. So really, steel isn't made of 'atoms' or anything like that. The sun doesn't run on fusion, and people are bags of water wrapped in fat and glued together with little robots. Works pretty well.

[absentwizard]

Correct. The two things that you worry about are strength (what you might term hardness), which is the elastic resistance to structural change and toughness, which is the energy required to fracture. Diamond has high strength and horrible toughness. Iron/steel and whatnot has good both. Keratin has lower toughness and much lower strength. ^_^

I am not saying that stuff has to adhere to real physics. I am saying that stuff has to adhere to _a_ physics. Until you make the new physics, we have to assume real physics. Heck, one of my favorite authors writes books where the "physics" runs on narrativium.

[Zook Murnig]

You can name names here, absentwizard. It's Pratchett. We all know it.

[absentwizard]

Nonsense. He'll always be pterry to me.