Christoph
12-19-12, 03:46 AM
Hello, everyone! Welcome to my Writer’s Corner. I am Christoph (obviously). Many of you already know me, and to the many new members who don't: Welcome! I have spent quite a few years on this site, enjoying all the great things it offers. I've decided to give back to the community, even in this small way, by offering up the benefits of my experience and research to anyone interested. Aside from my time writing on Althanas, I have also spent healthy stints on places such as Writingforums.org and Critters.org, where I critiqued many, many different stories. Hopefully the things I've learned prove helpful (especially in avoiding authorial mistakes and bad habits that I have gone through over the years).
This thread will, in the fullness of time, provide some (hopefully) useful tips and articles on various areas of writing and storytelling. It is geared specifically toward people who both love writing and want to get better at it – IE: most everyone on Althanas. This series will primarily consist of original articles and essays, though I may post some excerpts from other sources on occasion (with proper citation). Hopefully it will become the spiritual successor to the ancient Writing Tips thread that I referenced frequently during my newbie days (and indeed borrows some sources from that). Enjoy!
*
Chapter One: “Word Power, part 1”
I find it easiest to begin with the most basic and fundamental aspect of writing: the writing itself. The first few articles in this series will focus exclusively on elements of prose. Simply put, it is important, as even a good story loses much value if poorly told. A writer uses prose to deliver the story to the readers, much like a marksman uses a rifle to deliver a bullet to the target. The best bullet in the world will falter if fired from a shoddy gun. Good prose grabs hold of the reader and tells the story in vibrant detail. Great prose does this with the reader rarely even noticing it.
To take first step toward better prose one must eliminate the bad, commonly called ‘the errors of style.’ The first part of Word Power will discuss the oft-related problems of passive voice and weak verbs. I will be getting into technical detail, so bear with me.
Abuse of Passive Voice is an extremely common stylistic error. This (http://grammar.about.com/od/pq/g/pasvoiceterm.htm) article defines passive voice as “a verb form or voice in which the grammatical subject receives the verb’s action.” For example, “A letter was written by Mary” would be the passive form, compared to the Active form of “Mary wrote a letter.” An even worse and more common form is called ‘agentless passives’. This is where the performer of the action is not identified. Thus, the above example would instead sound like, “A letter was written.” Other examples include: “Mistakes were made,” and “The food was eaten.”
While not always bad, passive voice can cause many problems in prose. First and foremost, passive voice hurts clarity, especially in the case of ‘agentless passives’. “Mistakes were made”, but who made them? “The food was eaten”, but who ate it? Secondly, it breaks the natural stream of consciousness, which pulls the reader from the story. In passive voice, unlike active voice, the subject does not do something to the object. The object has something done to it by the subject. It shifts the emphasis from the subject, the one performing the action, to the object (or target) of the action and the action itself, so that the reader doesn’t see the subject first. The first example illustrates this wonderfully.
Active: “Mary wrote a letter.” Passive: “The letter was written by Mary.” In the first example, the readers likely see Mary sitting at a desk, pen in hand. With the second, they might see the letter resting finished on the desk, with Mary as an afterthought. Now, if this emphasis is intended, then passive voice might be preferable. However, a writer should consciously choose to use passive voice instead of active, not the reverse.
The next part of today’s article focuses on weak verbs, an issue that causes a variety of negative effects on prose. They can reduce the clarity and vibrancy of the writing, and often contribute to passive language and a tendency to tell rather than show (more on that in future installments). The connection between weak verbs and passive voice becomes evident in a single word: Was.
More accurately, the word ‘was’ stems from its root form of ‘is’ and shares a room with its brothers ‘were’ and ‘are’ and their cousins ‘has’ and ‘be’. (And I just filled my cheesy joke quota for the article.) Note that the above list does not include every example. These weak verbs find their way into passive voice with alarming frequency. That said, the use of these words does not automatically create passivity, and they’re not always bad. However, within reason, writers should rework their sentences to keep the use of these words to a minimum.
Removing weak verbs builds richer, clearer, and more concise prose. Unfortunately, this task can prove difficult and often requires complete sentence restructuring and the changing of writing habits. Teaching this through an article provides quite a challenge; a writer’s best bet is to go through his/her work line by line, attempting to rewrite each ‘was’ (is, are, etc) sentence without the weak verb, without harming the flow and efficiency of the sentence. To help the others along, I will list and analyze some real examples that I came across during past reviews and critiques:
“Across the cavern was a pulsing light.” Look at this sentence and ponder the numerous ways to rewrite it without using the word ‘was’; its lack of clarity becomes quickly obvious, doesn’t it? Is the entire cavern filled with a pulsing light? If so, “Light pulsed across [or perhaps ‘throughout’] the cavern.” Does a single light pulse on the cavern’s other end? “A light pulsed at the cavern’s far side.” Etc. Have fun with it.
“Elizabeth was an amazing artist.” This may seem fine at first glance, but it suffers from a case of ‘telling, instead of showing.’ It tells the reader what she is, but does not show why. Compare with “Elizabeth created amazing art.” Not only does the revision make the sentence shorter and sharper, it also gives the reader more important information: Elizabeth is a great artist because she creates amazing art. It seems a trifling thing, but do not underestimate its importance.
Sometimes, an author will try using weak verbs to simulate ‘real-time narration’, such as “Jon was walking to the store,” or “Chains were holding the captive.” This technique can sometimes work, but not nearly as often as many would hope. In the above instances, the former example could serve well in many situations, such as “Jon was walking to the store when the asteroid struck.” In other cases, such as “Sarah snuck out while Jon was walking to the store”, instead try “Sarah snuck out while Jon walked to the store.” In the second example, “Chains held the captive,” often works better.
Now, sometimes weak verbs serve valid purposes. Sometimes a simple and direct 'subject-verb-predicate' sentence works best, such as “She was dead.” However, as with passive voice, the writer should make it a conscious choice aimed at serving a specific purpose.
And that’s all for today! Thank you for reading. I welcome questions, comments, and discussions either posted here (no spamming, please) or sent to me via private message. If I receive a strong positive response, I will definitely continue. Tune in next time for Part Two of Word Power, “Decisiveness and Efficiency.”
~Christoph
This thread will, in the fullness of time, provide some (hopefully) useful tips and articles on various areas of writing and storytelling. It is geared specifically toward people who both love writing and want to get better at it – IE: most everyone on Althanas. This series will primarily consist of original articles and essays, though I may post some excerpts from other sources on occasion (with proper citation). Hopefully it will become the spiritual successor to the ancient Writing Tips thread that I referenced frequently during my newbie days (and indeed borrows some sources from that). Enjoy!
*
Chapter One: “Word Power, part 1”
I find it easiest to begin with the most basic and fundamental aspect of writing: the writing itself. The first few articles in this series will focus exclusively on elements of prose. Simply put, it is important, as even a good story loses much value if poorly told. A writer uses prose to deliver the story to the readers, much like a marksman uses a rifle to deliver a bullet to the target. The best bullet in the world will falter if fired from a shoddy gun. Good prose grabs hold of the reader and tells the story in vibrant detail. Great prose does this with the reader rarely even noticing it.
To take first step toward better prose one must eliminate the bad, commonly called ‘the errors of style.’ The first part of Word Power will discuss the oft-related problems of passive voice and weak verbs. I will be getting into technical detail, so bear with me.
Abuse of Passive Voice is an extremely common stylistic error. This (http://grammar.about.com/od/pq/g/pasvoiceterm.htm) article defines passive voice as “a verb form or voice in which the grammatical subject receives the verb’s action.” For example, “A letter was written by Mary” would be the passive form, compared to the Active form of “Mary wrote a letter.” An even worse and more common form is called ‘agentless passives’. This is where the performer of the action is not identified. Thus, the above example would instead sound like, “A letter was written.” Other examples include: “Mistakes were made,” and “The food was eaten.”
While not always bad, passive voice can cause many problems in prose. First and foremost, passive voice hurts clarity, especially in the case of ‘agentless passives’. “Mistakes were made”, but who made them? “The food was eaten”, but who ate it? Secondly, it breaks the natural stream of consciousness, which pulls the reader from the story. In passive voice, unlike active voice, the subject does not do something to the object. The object has something done to it by the subject. It shifts the emphasis from the subject, the one performing the action, to the object (or target) of the action and the action itself, so that the reader doesn’t see the subject first. The first example illustrates this wonderfully.
Active: “Mary wrote a letter.” Passive: “The letter was written by Mary.” In the first example, the readers likely see Mary sitting at a desk, pen in hand. With the second, they might see the letter resting finished on the desk, with Mary as an afterthought. Now, if this emphasis is intended, then passive voice might be preferable. However, a writer should consciously choose to use passive voice instead of active, not the reverse.
The next part of today’s article focuses on weak verbs, an issue that causes a variety of negative effects on prose. They can reduce the clarity and vibrancy of the writing, and often contribute to passive language and a tendency to tell rather than show (more on that in future installments). The connection between weak verbs and passive voice becomes evident in a single word: Was.
More accurately, the word ‘was’ stems from its root form of ‘is’ and shares a room with its brothers ‘were’ and ‘are’ and their cousins ‘has’ and ‘be’. (And I just filled my cheesy joke quota for the article.) Note that the above list does not include every example. These weak verbs find their way into passive voice with alarming frequency. That said, the use of these words does not automatically create passivity, and they’re not always bad. However, within reason, writers should rework their sentences to keep the use of these words to a minimum.
Removing weak verbs builds richer, clearer, and more concise prose. Unfortunately, this task can prove difficult and often requires complete sentence restructuring and the changing of writing habits. Teaching this through an article provides quite a challenge; a writer’s best bet is to go through his/her work line by line, attempting to rewrite each ‘was’ (is, are, etc) sentence without the weak verb, without harming the flow and efficiency of the sentence. To help the others along, I will list and analyze some real examples that I came across during past reviews and critiques:
“Across the cavern was a pulsing light.” Look at this sentence and ponder the numerous ways to rewrite it without using the word ‘was’; its lack of clarity becomes quickly obvious, doesn’t it? Is the entire cavern filled with a pulsing light? If so, “Light pulsed across [or perhaps ‘throughout’] the cavern.” Does a single light pulse on the cavern’s other end? “A light pulsed at the cavern’s far side.” Etc. Have fun with it.
“Elizabeth was an amazing artist.” This may seem fine at first glance, but it suffers from a case of ‘telling, instead of showing.’ It tells the reader what she is, but does not show why. Compare with “Elizabeth created amazing art.” Not only does the revision make the sentence shorter and sharper, it also gives the reader more important information: Elizabeth is a great artist because she creates amazing art. It seems a trifling thing, but do not underestimate its importance.
Sometimes, an author will try using weak verbs to simulate ‘real-time narration’, such as “Jon was walking to the store,” or “Chains were holding the captive.” This technique can sometimes work, but not nearly as often as many would hope. In the above instances, the former example could serve well in many situations, such as “Jon was walking to the store when the asteroid struck.” In other cases, such as “Sarah snuck out while Jon was walking to the store”, instead try “Sarah snuck out while Jon walked to the store.” In the second example, “Chains held the captive,” often works better.
Now, sometimes weak verbs serve valid purposes. Sometimes a simple and direct 'subject-verb-predicate' sentence works best, such as “She was dead.” However, as with passive voice, the writer should make it a conscious choice aimed at serving a specific purpose.
And that’s all for today! Thank you for reading. I welcome questions, comments, and discussions either posted here (no spamming, please) or sent to me via private message. If I receive a strong positive response, I will definitely continue. Tune in next time for Part Two of Word Power, “Decisiveness and Efficiency.”
~Christoph