Chapter 1: The Arrival

[Red Dawn]

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---------------

----System re-initializing----

----Organic biology revived----

----ERROR----

----Degradation in multiple systems detected: All primary senses diminished; All physical attributes diminished; All mental attributes diminished. Rebooting primary pathway command. Realigning primary power transfer units. Adjusting for deterioration.----

----Reboot sequence complete. Brain functions reestablished----


Dale’s eyes opened slowly, lids shifting reluctantly as a jolt of electricity infused his bio-mechanical body with life. Fingers twitched awkwardly, muscle fibers flexed and relaxed uncontrollably as he slowly was brought back from stasis. He could feel the tendril of self-preserving energy work its way through his extremities and the touch of it return to his head. He waited impatiently for the tingle of his neural pathways to once again link the positronic overlay to the DNA-storage facility that comprised his brain. The tedious process took seconds, but when there were questions forming it seemed like forever. When the link was completed he finally sat upright and took in as much as possible.

The forested floor was littered with twigs and ferns, which were mostly crushed beneath his body. Overhead the sunlight barely filtered through the thick canopy, leaving a green tint to the light that found its way to the ground. “A forest, how quaint. I know I’m not on Earth at least…”

The android rose to his feet, brushing off dirt and forest filth that clung to his black pants. He tucked the base of his pants back into his boots and bloused them accordingly; it was habit more than anything. At his side was his bowie knife, which he tucked into his boots before readjusting his belts. Experience and training dictated that uniform code be addressed as quickly as possible. The top two buttons of his shirt were put back in place and with that he was once again, at the very least, a semblance of his former self. However, second on the list of things to do was to find out where the hell he had landed.

Earth, or what he could access related to memories of the planet, was altogether lacking vegetation – especially trees as old as the ones he was looking at. War had long since consumed the ability for them to grow; entire forests had been decimated by missile barrages or cleared in order to build more trenches. If he had the ability to easily feel shock, he would have been in the midst of a very powerful and overwhelming bout of it. Instead he simply took in what he could.

“No signs of human habitation. No signs of war. No signs of my fucking pod either… hmm.”

[Red Dawn]

Exploring the unknown seemed to be the only course of action for the android. After a few minutes of scouting a perimeter around where he had woke, he simply returned to the same point – or at least he hoped so, it was hard to tell in such a dense forest where exactly he was at any time. More than once he had felt a light quake underfoot, a puzzling vibration he had not found a source for. It was obviously not an earthquake, as it was evenly spaced and the severity was slowly diminished with every appearance of the phenomenon. The rhythmic pattern that he felt the movement made him wonder if it was perhaps something like a footstep, but the thought of something shaking the very ground with each step seemed ludicrous.

“Run diagnostic.” He reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a small, silver case. It was dented, but no worse for wear and had protected his hand-rolled cigarettes just as designed. In his pocket he found his lighter, also no worse for wear though the bruise in the same shape against the outside of his leg said he had landed on it pretty hard. With a flick of the wheel he put flame to cigarette tip and slowly inhaled as he waited for the diagnostic to repeat its findings to him.


----Diagnostic Completed----

----All functions working at diminished capacity----

----Brain functions at 10% efficiency. DNA sequences lost. Positronic matrix intact. Pathways unable to link, conduits damaged.----

----Physical attributes functioning at 8% efficiency. Bone structure at 10%. Musculature functioning at 9.25%. All senses functioning at 11%.----

----Biological elements intact and functioning. Sustenance requirements functioning at 100%.----

“Well,” he muttered as he exhaled a small cloud of acrid smoke. “At least I have my health. Computer, reason for why my systems are not functioning at peak efficiency?”


----Functionality degradation caused by sub-space stasis and passage of time---

“Any way to tell how long I was out? Or where I am?”


----Time elapse undetermined. Location undetermined. Inner clock offline due to stasis. GPS systems not functional. No satellite link established.----

“You are absolutely no help.” Dale scratched his head and took another drag of the cigarette. “So, what you are telling me is that I’ve weakened significantly because I’ve been in that damned pod for an unknown amount of time? You can’t find any satellites so I have no clue where I am? And, to make matters worse, you’re my only friend here and you’re in my head?”


----Correct. Correct. No program to define parameters of term ‘friend’.----

“So, not even my friend. Just a voice in my head. Thanks, bitch.”

[Red Dawn]

Dale moved slowly through the forests, avoiding portions that seemed thicker than others whenever possible. He had no experience with dense wooded areas, but if memory served him right about what they once were like on Earth it was a place of ancient predators. Armed with only his bowie knife, clenched in a tight fist and held in reverse, he trekked on. The day was growing slowly towards noon, and his internal clock was adjusting as much as it could in order to track the sun. It had determined that the passage of a single day was moving along the same way as a day on Earth, and that this sun also moved from east to west during its passage. With at least a little bit of understanding about the new world, the android was feeling better.

His confidence was to be tested further though as he came into a clearing. It was an obvious barrier of some sort, which looked nothing like what man could make. There was no sign of deliberate destruction of trees, stumps, or any sign of uprooted foliage. Like a controlled burn, it was a line that curved very slowly into obscurity as far as his eyes could follow. Behind him the depths of the forest seemed much darker, more ominous than they had while he was traversing them. Ahead of him the trees looked easier to walk through, spaced apart and with less thorny bushes and hazardous scrub. This, he determined, was definitely a line drawn intentionally but he could not fathom its purpose.

“Halt! Who are you?!” The words caught him off-guard and he spun on his heels. His thick soled boots dug into the loam and he planted himself firmly in a low, wide stance with his knife in a defensive position. His all black eyes scanned the area, trying to get a fix on anything that could have called out to him. Lenses slipped across his eyes, magnification lenses and sensory arrays attempting to work out of reflex despite both systems being inoperable. “I repeat, who are you? What are you doing here?”

The accusatory questions were shot with a vile undertone. Defensively Dale lifted his large knife. When he finally found what was calling to him he almost laughed. A small, human like figure came darting towards him from around one of the ancient, dark trees behind him. It had crystalline like wings, darting as fast as a dragonfly. Mostly naked, the miniature woman was marked from head to toe with random swaths of color. The lines of what looked like paint covered her tiny breasts and seemed to shift color from an emerald green to a navy blue as she flew.

“Who am I? I’m Dale. Trying to find something civilized… wait. Who the hell are you? What the hell are you?”

As quickly as she had been shooting towards him she stopped. A small flash of green light and she had what looked like a tiny axe in one hand and a shield on the other. Curiously they stared at each other, Dale perplexed at what the hell he was looking at, she just as off-put. “I am a forest spirit, watcher of the Hidden Vale. This is the domain of the great tree, the walking wood. You are a trespasser.”

“My dear, I am no trespasser. I’m just lost and new.” Dale said with a chuckle. He lowered his blade, comically guessing its deadly steel edge to be about the same size as the spirit. It seemed overkill, what threat could she really pose. “You look like Tinkerbell, but a much more… green version. Wait, did you say there is some tree walking around?”

“His very steps shake the ground, the forest trembles as he patrols his domain. He—”

“Ah, so that’s what those little earthquakes were? A walking tree thing.”

[Red Dawn]

“So,” Dale said flatly. His original amusement and interest had long since waned. The agitated little human bug – a spirit of the forest NOT green Tinkerbell – had explained many of his questions but outright ignore most. Their conversation had gleaned the name of the planet, that there were certainly people, and that the dark forest was definitely not where anyone lived or were welcome. “This planet is called Althanas, you are a tiny naked spirit, and I woke up in a very much off-limits to people part of a forest called Concordia?”

“Yes. You are a difficult creature.” The woman, who had not offered a name, was glaring at him. If he was capable of having a soul her angry glower would have been piercing it.

“And the metal, round thing – my escape pod with all my personal belongings – landed in this walking trees canopy? You saw me be ejected from it, land on the ground, and wander around but not until now did you say something?”

Instead of responding the creature simply sighed. She was as exasperated with his questions as the android was with her lack of adequate answers. Its tiny arms crossed, shield in front of her with her hatchet like weapon resting on her opposite arm. Anything with weapons was something to be cautious of, especially when it was so irritable, but Dale did not feel that the thing was a threat. His arms were also crossed, still holding the knife in a reverse position. The two stood defiantly across from one another, simply staring and waiting.

In the distance a low howl and a deep growl echoed off the thick domain of the walking tree. Dale quickly shifted his position to a defensive stance once again. His eyes started moving about the trees behind his little friend, seeking the source of the new noise. One was definitely a wolf, only a slight threat compared to what he had fought before, the other was unidentifiable. “About time,” the spirit said as she repositioned herself in a combat stance. “The guardians of the forest are here.”

“Guardians? Wait… you didn’t—“

Before he could finish his sentence two creatures burst from the woods. Both of them were just as shocking as the painted girl. One was as tall as he was, standing easily over six feet tall and a purely muscular body. It was covered in medium length, somewhat coarse brown hair with streaks of gray running through his fur. The other was shorter, or so Dale presumed, but crouched low to the ground. Its thick muscles were rippling beneath a coat of sleek black fur. “A wolf man, with my hat and coat, and a jaguar man. Why does that not surprise me? Why, though, are both of you naked?!”

The jaguar hissed and made odd noises. His wolf companion growled and responded in the same less than civil tongue. Both rose to their back legs and walked towards the spirit, walked like humans. It was more than Dale could have hoped for and he coughed to choke back a laugh. “Damn it all Todo, this sure as hell ain’t Kansas.”

“Leave or die,” spirit hissed. She cocked back her arm with the small axe, preparing to throw it from what the android could tell.

“Not without my hat and coat, and they better not smell like wet dog.” Dale crouched low and prepared to fight.

[Red Dawn]

When the axe was thrown, Dale barely moved. It was the size of one of his fingers at best. However, as it twirled through the air towards him the same pale green light flashed. He watched, for the second time, as magic was cast. In a split second it was a viable weapon, darting towards him with incredible speed and accuracy. He side stepped as quickly as possible. Where his chest had been the hatchet flew past him, barely missing. Its razor sharp edge glinted even as it struck a tree on the ‘safe and completely not off limits’ side of the barrier. It stuck in the wood firmly, and Dale turned to look at the woman who was holding onto a spear now and charging. On either side of him the two animal-humans were charging, attempting to flank his position.

He only had one option and that was to retreat. If he darted to the other side of the open area, towards the hatchet, he could avoid being pinched between the opponents. That was exactly what they wanted though. He knew that and would not relinquish simply because it would satisfy them. He pushed all his weight against the tip of his boots and lunged forward. With a flash the bowie knife sliced through the air. The blade was almost ten inches, and the woman he aimed at could not have been more than twelve inches herself. She instantly dodged, easily, and begin to jab the sharpened wood spear across him. Like a mosquito she darted about, poking here and there, impossible to cut.

In a matter of second the jaguar was lunging to his right. Dale bent low and let the razor sharp claws swipe at him as the cat overshot. At the same time, he felt the sudden force of the wolf jaw clamp down on his hip. He willed himself to stand his ground, to be as unmoving and firmly planted as possible. At the same time he swiped his opposite arm and smashed the thing in the chest. It tumbled end over end through the air, yet landed on all fours. Spitting, he growled and eyed his cat companion. While the two muttered at each other, the tiny woman stopped her relentlessly annoying assault and darted to them.

“Bloody fucker,” Dale spat. His hip was punctured in at least six places, but the blood was starting to coagulate against his pants already. The pain receptors sent their message along the bio-mechanical nervous system and to his mind. He assessed that the damage was minimal and turned to the trio. “I’m going to kill you for my stuff,” he pointed at the wolf, and then to the jaguar, “and I’m going to turn you into a rug.”

“What are you?” The spirit said as the other two stood up and started sniffing the air in Dale’s direction. “You are not human, but you are not metal either.”

“I’m an android.” Answering honestly did not help, as the green Tinkerbell simply stared at the other two before giving him a questioning look. “Umm… a mix of human and metal?”

“An abomination!”

“Me? No no no, a wolf and a cat that stand on two legs. That is an abomination. A tiny naked girl with bug wings. That is also an abomination. I am science, technology, and manpower all combined into something… well… awesome.”

The wolf quickly shook off the duster and leather cowboy hat, kicking dirt on them before retreating like they were somehow dangerous. The trio backed towards their side of the clearing, allowing Dale to limp towards his stuff. He picked it up and sniffed it. “Smells worse than a wet dog,” he muttered while putting his coat and hat back on. “What now?”

[Red Dawn]

The four of them, all definitely not human, stood facing each other from their respective sides of the clearing. Dale could not fathom how he was an abomination and they were not, but that point had been ignored. Instead of continuing to fight, perhaps how many countless years of stasis had given him a sour flavor, the three guardians decided to let him leave. They wanted nothing more to do with him, so long as they could not identify him as either human or metallic tool. Dale was all too happy to oblige.

“What about my pod, I need to get back to that.”

“The tree walker, lord of this domain, is carrying it with him. You are to never return to this land, in turn you shall never see that metal egg again.”

“Well that’s not fucking fair. That’s mine, not yours.”

“If you ever return you will be killed. Your scent will be remembered. Your taste will not be forgotten. We will know if you approach, and all the guardians of the forest will assemble to kill you. You are worse than human. You are an abomina—“

“Abomination, I know, I got that part.” Dale slid another cigarette from its case and lit it. The smoke just felt right, felt like it was as necessary as not trying to fight the things in front of him. System diagnostics said he was not at a hundred percent by any means, it would be a fruitless endeavor to try and fight these three and who knew how many more potentially on their way. He shook his head while letting out a cloud of smoke. “Fine, but I’ll be back for that thing eventually. You mark my words.”

The three creatures turned and hurried back into their dark forest, out of sight almost as soon as they entered. Mentally the android took a note, the exact place and all the information he could muster to store for later use. “Computer, begin mapping and tracking my movements. I don’t want to forget where this place is for future reference.”

The hollow female voice simply recited systematic errors, attempted overrides, and any number of issues. Eventually DNA storage was accessed in relation to spacial recognition programming, which was close enough for the android to accept. He turned and buried the almost dead cigarette into the nearest tree. Defiant as he could be for the time being. Before he left, he wiggled the handle of the hatchet until its sharp blade came free of the tree.

Smooth and soft, the wood of the handle nonetheless felt very strong. It felt like oak, but had a finish that looked like a brown metal. The blade was honed to an incredibly sharp point. No decoration or otherwise identifying markers adorned the smooth iron head, but the spike on the back side did put a wicked grin across Dale’s face. If nothing else, the weapon was worth the bite mark on his hip. “Looks like I’m at least a little better armed. Plus, I got my jacket and hat back. I’d say this first day has gone alright, more or less. Computer, any sensors operational?”


----No sensors operational. Array damaged 0% functionality----

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” Blindly, and with his new little axe over one shoulder, Dale began stumbling through the forest once again. Even with a slight limp it was easier to navigate the new side. With trees spaced further apart and relatively no brush to interfere with him, he picked up his pace and walked towards what he assumed was the West.

[Red Dawn]

The wound along the androids hip slowly hurt less and obstructed his stride much less as he continued on. He wondered at what exactly would happen to the holes in his skin. The synthetic material that covered his skin was wired with hundreds of thousands of sensory preceptors, allowing him the ability to translate his surroundings much in the same way as a human’s senses worked. However, along with that ability was the one that allowed those sensors to be damaged, much like any ‘nerve’ that wound its way through bone and partially-biological musculature. The injury functioned to send electronic impulses to his brain, be processed in order to assess the extent of the damage done, and in turn his overall effectiveness and ability to continue through a wound. His blood, while still comprised of cells like a human’s, was more effective in that it was pumped faster and each cell was almost 125% larger than average; able to carry more oxygen to his lungs and nutrients through his body. Having a six compartment heart allowed the faster pumping to be possible. His internal computer had said that his biological functions were at 100%, which included the half-biological muscles and synthetic skin as part of those. It felt, though, that he was winded faster when he tried to run and that the coagulation of the blood was only half what it normally should be.

He had long since placed his new hatchet behind him, tucked into a belt where it sat most comfortably and barely noticed. When he had the chance he would stop and test certain functions that he had once had and used without a thought. His estimates of his abilities were running into the same percentages that the lifeless woman in his head had read out. Top speed was average, jumping was average and he could feel it strain his legs when he tried to push harder; worst of all he found that his strength was sub-standard. At one point he had tried to crush a small rock in his hand, no matter what force he tried to summon he could not do so. It was a taxing effort too, one that had caused him to sweat… a feeling he had not felt in some time.

Wildlife scattered and fled when he approached, which meant that he had lost the flighty and light-footed gate he once had as well. Instead of focusing on the negative, he tried to formulate as many new pathways as the damned woman in his head could compensate for. There was so much to see. He had eaten berries that looked blue but tasted nothing like the blueberries he knew from back home. Analysis of a few leaves brought up no information about certain plants, which in all ways seemed like they should be ferns but were barbed. As much as was alien to him, so much more was no different than what information he had on the flora and fauna of Earth.

Deer eyed him cautiously in sunny groves as he walked by, running if he approached too close. Their antlers seemed to be no different than the pictures he had been shown of them when he was created. Poison ivy and stinging-nettle seemed to be a common plague on any planet as well. Though he never had a childhood, since he was created as an adult, it still brought him back to when he was first made. Learning all the languages, weather patterns, flora and fauna was starting all over again; this time on a place very much not Earth. “Damn it,” he muttered, tossing a stick at a random chattering squirrel that did not take kindly to him resting under its tree. He pulled out a cigarette, puffing at it and counting only another four left. “I can sit here if I want.”

Most of the day had passed and the fading light made even the more open portion of Concordia seem uninviting. Birds cooed gently to each other overhead, finding their nests before the night descended. It was… peaceful. Something the android was neither used to or taking too fondly to. He slid his hatchet from his belt and placed it across his lap, wiggling himself into the nook of the tree. “As good a place as any to sleep for the night I suppose.”

[Red Dawn]

A shrill whistle ripped through the forest. It was as good as any alarm, internal or otherwise, that Dale had ever heard and he was on his feet in a flash. The hatchet was in his right hand, his trusty bowie knife held in reverse in his left hand. He let his black eyes dart furiously around. The sky was gray and lifeless. The still air around him was eerily calm, layering him and the ground nearby with sporadic patches of dew. The open grove behind his tree had no deer, no squirrel chattered from a branch just out of reach, not even a single bird could be heard. Tucking his back against the tree again he continued to scan the surroundings. Instinctively one of the lenses darted sideways across his black eyes like a blinking eyelid. As it clicked into place, the low-light of the pre-dawn world came into better focus. “At least one thing still works.”

With the assistance of his low-light vision he could see much easier, though no further due to the malfunctioning magnification lenses. Nothing rustled the brush or trees anywhere he could see. “Maybe it was an internal whistle, entirely possible with almost ninety percent of me not working.”

But, as soon as he began to doubt the noise it came again. It was closer. Definitely to his left, coming from the west. He crouched low, a stance he had taken more since waking up than ever before in such a short amount of time. Using the wide conifer he had slept against as cover he watched that direction. In the distance he could see the brush moving, shuffling as if someone was sprinting through it. Whatever it was happened to be coming towards him. He gripped the hatchet firmly and waited, watching curiously as a small mop of blonde hair flashed between overgrown ferns. It looked human, and was small. Possibly a child, but then again it could be anything when he took into account what strange creatures he had already seen. Whoever it was, he could see them much easier than they could see him, but it would only be a short time before normal vision would even be able to find him.

“Help!” It was definitely a child, sounded like a young boy – granted, to Dale, before it hit puberty it was hard to tell the difference between male and female humans. “Help me!”

The child burst through the last layer of ferns, stopping suddenly as he scanned the area Dale had been sleeping in only minutes ago. There was nowhere to hide in this open wooded area and the accompanying grove, except maybe behind trees. Dale slid out of hiding and the boy shrieked suddenly, holding up a very small dagger. “I’m not going to hurt you, boy. What’s going on?”

Frightened the boy suddenly burst into tears. His hand quivered and he clung fiercely to his little weapon, putting it between the android and himself. No combat training and scared, Dale analyzed the situation as quickly as his slowed brain could. “They’re after me.”

As if to put an exclamation after the statement another shrill whistle echoed its way through the woods. It was much closer this time, and Dale could see the brush behind the child rustling with followers. It looked like more than one, but it was impossible to tell how many. “Hide in the—“ his words were cut off as a projectile screamed through the fern and plunked into a sturdy tree. Dale looked at it with his lips pursed. No more than six inches in length, it had three feathers along back. “Get down, now.”

The child scrambled into the last brush he had come tearing through. He curled up slightly, wincing even as the barbed fern tore at his clothes. After taking a very deep breath to calm his nerves, Dale removed one of his last cigarettes and lit it. The fire would be easy to spot, and he wanted whoever was after the kid to show himself so no stealth was required. As soon as he exhaled his first puff, three very human like figures darted into the small opening between the trees. “’Ello chaps, nice morning for a run, eh?”

[Red Dawn]

“Who are you?”

Dale ignored the question with all the calm in the world. He lifted the cigarette to his lips and let it hang there. One of the men was wearing very light leather, colored to look like the pattern of the forest with a mix of grays and greens. In his hands he held two small crossbows, both loaded and aimed. The middle one had a set of very light gray armor with a slim sword at his side, two daggers in either hand. The final one was a bit thinner than the others, and quite a bit shorter. His golden hair matched the other two’s, but it was over his shoulders and covering leather pauldrons. A long bow was knocked with an arrow, but not drawn. He was the one that spoke, Dale decided before taking a small drag. “I’m Dale Russell. Who are you? And it’s far too early to be waking up to a small arrow flying at my head.”

The one holding the bow looked about. He had posed the question but obviously his quarry was much more important at that moment. The armored one gave the other two a quick glance before looking back at Dale. “We’re trying to capture a fugitive. Have you seen anyone pass by here?”

“Nope, can’t say I have. What’d he look like?”

“A boy, human, blonde hair carrying a weapon.”

“Three grown men hunting one little kid. He must have done something awful to encourage such attention?”

The armored one squinted as he looked at the bowie knife and hatchet. He brushed his golden hair back and Dale could see the hint of something new once again. Ears as long and pointed as a dagger shot backwards. Upon closer inspection all but the distracted archer’s ears could be seen, and the other two had the same type. Their eyes were off too, Dale felt something weird about them. They were far to angled and round to be normal. “Poaching, in Ranger territory. His family is sympathizers with the Corone Empire too. He’s wanted for questioning and to stand trial as a spy.”

“’Scuse me, don’t mind to be rude. But why are you ears so damned… pointy. You ain’t human, are you?” The crossbow wielding thing approached Dale, head cocked curiously but his eyes were on fire.

“Elves, of the Corone Rangers. Never seen an elf before?”

“Only in children’s books, seen lots of pictures of them. I always thought they were made up. Huh? Learn something new every day.” The android continued to smoke, puffing out an acrid cloud in the face of the bold member of the three as he came closer. “I’d be a little more comfortable if you lowered those weapons and stepped the fuck back a stride or two.”

The attention of the thin archer was finally returned to the party. He shook his head at the armored elf and quickly flashed a number of hand signs. The armored elf nodded as if his companion had said something of importance. He sheathed his daggers and drew the long blade at his side. Dale had to admit, as the sun was rising and the emerald rays of light filtered through the forest the blade looked very elegant. Armored, in the middle, and getting all the information the other two were relaying; he had to be in charge. “We’ll ask you one more time,” he said as he approached Dale as well. “Have you, or have you not seen the boy? Failure to answer correctly will force us to believe that you are also a sympathizer, spy, or otherwise undertaking some sort of underhanded mission for the Empire.”

[Red Dawn]

Dale took a short drag and let the smoke roll out of his nose. Whoever these boys were, they were picking a fight. It was just like a bully to go after something much smaller than them, and to go in a pack. Dale hate bullies. He was actually starting to believe that his list of things he hated was growing exponentially as the days went on. At first it was just light beers, commissary pre-rolled cigarettes, and a number of little pet peeves. That list, since waking up on Althanas, had grown to definitely hold animal-humans, spirits, over-sized walking trees; with a category of disdain specially reserved for elves. He had wasted enough time for the crossbow wielding one to almost be face to face, while the armored one was just behind him to his left. The third, from what Dale could tell without letting his eyes actually move to look, was to his far left flank with arrow still knocked but not drawn.

“Close enough,” he muttered. The bold one turned to look at the leader. Dale took a huge, final drag of his cigarette. As soon as the elf started to turn back to him the android acted. He forced out a huge wave of smoke directly in the face of the closest. His fingers deftly flicked his cig, still burning, at the face of the leader. In a split second a flurry of movement began. One of the crossbows plinked as the projectile was shot into the ground. The leader flinched and turned away as quickly as possible, blocking the butt with his off-hand. By the time the second loaded crossbow rose, Dale lunged. His head smashed firmly into the bridge of his opponent’s nose. The second crossbow was released and whizzed harmlessly, though incredibly close to his face.

A quick lunge and Dale shoved his blade into the gut of the crossbow-man. He felt a gush of blood and watched those alien eyes go wide with panic. The android kicked hard, shoving the man back into his leader even as he rushed forward. Momentarily free, Dale rolled quickly. As he did so an arrow caught him in the leg. The shallow wound stung instantly, burning as he felt a trickle of blood begin to flow from the opening. Instantly his internal computer began to shut down the sensory relays coming from that portion of the leg. As if it never happened, Dale turned on the archer and sprinted forward.

His opponent rolled around a tree, knocking another arrow as he did so. The long, thin fingers of the archer were incredibly fast. They moved with lightning speed. When Dale rolled to the opposite side of the tree to catch the man another arrow slid through the air. It missed, but just barely. Dale raised his hatchet to swing at the man but was caught off guard by the leader instead. The blade he wielded arched towards his head, only his peripheral vision caught it. In that second he ducked low. The blade slid into the trunk of the tree and stuck for a moment.

Dale pushed off with his boots against a thick root. It served the purpose perfectly. He hit his back on the ground, rolled with the momentum, and came up on his feet behind the armored Ranger. With all the strength he could muster he cocked and threw his hatchet. The blade whirled for a second before slamming firmly into the back of the elf. Even as he died his hands continued to try and wrestle the blade free. He pulled up his bowie knife, in a low stance while searching. The third elf had disappeared, no longer vested in the fight with the loss of his leader and companion.

Flashes of movement and a few seconds were the difference between life and death for the android. He knew that from firsthand experience better than almost anyone. Fights were about taking advantage of your surroundings, moving quickly, and formulating plans even faster. Without much of his processors functioning, it was surprising that he had suffered as little damage as he had, but he was happy about the outcome nonetheless. He roared towards the trees a final call to his fleeing opponent. “Fucking coward!”

[Red Dawn]

This world of Althanas was as alien as they came. It was the fiction of the twenty and twenty-first century come to life. Even the scientists before the war that ended all wars – and life for that matter – that sought life in other worlds would not have imagined that this place could have existed. Spirits, half-beast half-man things, elves and humans cohabitating (albeit poorly apparently) was all children’s tales made up from centuries of old lore turned into modern fantasy. Dale was at a loss for how to deal with it all, but took it in strides as he did much in life. He rose to his feet slowly; the nerve endings and sensor relays were reconnecting to the stinging wound across the back of his leg. “Kid, get out here.”

Scrambling and scratching his way out, the blonde mop of hair emerged from the ferns with more than a scattering of leaves and thorns stuck in it. But the boy was smiling. “Wow,” he whispered as he looked at the two dead elves and tucked his little dagger into his belt. “You must be awfully strong to have killed Coronian Rangers!”

“Aww shucks,” Dale’s mocking tone went unnoticed. The kid rambled as he roamed around the fallen warriors. He tugged at weapons and armor, trying to pull off the dead what he could. Apparently, the cohabitation was a give and take – or just ‘take’ after death which isn’t like giving at all. The android watched and listened to the young man, named Jake, talk about a scattering of things in his excited and prepubescent voice. “Hey,” he finally interrupted, “You come from a city close by?”

“I’m from Niven’s Glade, that’s where my family is and where I was running from.” As he continued, reciting the nature of the small village and his plight, Dale began to wander. He wrapped a torn strip of cloth from one of the dead around his leg to assist with the closing of the wound. Jake had been roaming the pre-dawn forest when he stumbled across a small party of Rangers, scouting the woods. They had spotted him, half giving chase when he ran the other half slipping back into the depths of the forest. “I’m sure my ma and pop would be happy to give you a place to stay if you need one.”

Dale flicked the long ear of the crossbow wielding corpse. He scoffed at the creature before rummaging across its body. More than a little bloodied, the leather armor across its chest was useful but too small for the body of the android. He removed it in any case, along with the layered leather pauldrons on either shoulder. They were designed to be buckled with long leather straps crossing at the middle of the chest, which would be of no use to Dale if he was going to wear his trench coat as well. Long leather gloves, missing the trigger finger, would be a little tight but almost perfect.

All in all, the dead Rangers were a small bounty once stripped. Dale and Jake both carried what they found; the sword un-wedged from the tree, two sleek daggers, a chestplate with a hatchet gash in the back, two hand crossbows, twenty bolts, a long dirk-like dagger, the bloodied leather armor, and a slew of little things. “I’ll lead you back to my place, we can get something to eat and fix up this armor for you if you want to.”

The shit eating grin on the young boy was laughable. He was wearing the slim leather armor over his chest, which was still too big for him. At his hips he put his hands on the daggers in their sheath, the palms cupping the butts as if ready to use them. Dale smirked and put a cigarette between his lips, flicking the end to life with his lighter. He picked up the light gray armor in one hand, the sword in its sheath in the other. “Lead the way, Jake.”

Smiling, the boy walked quickly. He was trying to keep a quick pace, matching his tiny legs to Dale’s long stride. He deftly maneuvered around thorny bushes, certain seven sided leafy plants with red stems growing on trees, and all the way explaining what plants and animals he could spot.

[Red Dawn]

Niven’s Glade was a small settlement, barely even big enough to be considered a village when considered. There were only a scattering of houses, only one wide enough to be an inn which was also the only building with a second story. At the center of the six houses was a well, covered and layered with old bricks. If it wasn’t for the signs of habitation, Dale could picture why it was called a glade. The clearing in the forest was wide and ringed by thick woods filled with bark flaked, white trees. It was peaceful. “This is home.”

Dale looked at the boy before he hurried ahead to one of the smaller abodes. On the porch was a man with a slim goatee, smoking a pipe with a mug in hand. He stood up and nodded as Jake approach. From the distance there was easily discernible conversation between the two, and when the boy shook off the ruined armor and sulked inside the man eyed the android. The older human and the newcomer sized each other up before Dale was waved to come closer.

“So, you saved my boy.” It was not a question, hardly more than a musing statement. He puffed on his pipe and eyed the heavy bodied savior. Nearly the same height, it was moments before the fluid black eyes met the human’s gray-blue. “You have my thanks, obviously, but you’ve done nothing more than sir up those blasted Rangers.”

The broken breastplate was dropped on the porch with a thump, the longsword tossed beside it. The last cigarette was pulled reluctantly from its case and lit. Dale nodded politely before putting away the lighter and taking a soothing drag. Even the synthetic body could feel the rush of nicotine pulse through it, the lungs absorbing oxygen and smoke more efficiently than any human’s counterpart. “Aye. I can see that.”

“The name’s Utan, Jake say’s yours is Dale Russell.” The man puffed out a cloud of smoke, one hand pulling the pipe from his mouth and the other on his hip. He looked at the hands of the android, which were placed on the butts of the crossbows leaving his cig dangling from pursed lips. Behind Dale, the rest of the small settlement began to gather curiously at a good distance from the unknown man. “Those Rangers have been patrolling this area, searching for easy lumber and goods to fuel their war against the Empire. Since we’re but a stone’s throw from the southern edge of the Comb Mountains this place is of interest as use for a base of attack.”

“I see. Your boy said he was just out playing in the woods when he ran into the elves that were chasing him. I got two of them, one got away.”

“Then they’ll be back, but not for us anymore. They’ll be after you for sure now.”

Dale plucked the cigarette and tapped the ash. It fell slowly, but no wind shifted in the glade. “Can you fix or use the armor and weapons I brought back? Or, better yet, attach these pauldrons to the shoulders of my coat?”

“Garret can do that, he’s the best leatherworker for miles. Well, the only one for miles to be honest.” Dale watched the thick stomach of the man shift, and the body of Utan moved underlying a hidden strength. He looked past the android, who followed his eyes to a moderately sized man with a thick black beard. The man began walking up to the two. “Garret, can you take this coat and set of pauldrons, attach them at the shoulder for Mr. Russell here. I’m sure he’ll part with the sword and armor as payment. It looks like good steel, I’m sure it’ll be useful for some axe heads and other tools. Don’t want them here when the Rangers come knockin’ anyway.”

[Red Dawn]

After wandering into the small house, Dale was met with what he assumed would be the way the rest of Althanas would look. It was a sturdy wooden building, more a cabin than a hovel, and very well built. On the walls were a set of axes of differing sizes, pictures painted but not framed and obviously done by a very young and very unskilled hand. Quaint as it was, there was an obvious lack of the female touch that Dale did not want to touch upon. The smooth wood floor of the kitchen area was attached to the large living room, with two doors that went to bedrooms. “I see you smoke, you need some tobacco?”

“That was my last cigarette; I could do with some more tobacco and some papers to roll it in if you have any.” Dale sat at a high table on a stool. Utan handed his guest a plain wooden box and a book with what looked like a religious symbol on it. The android took a look at the text, the title reading Codex of the Thayne. “Some sort of religion?”

“Eh, something like that. The Thayne are a collection of deities that some believe in, surprised you haven’t heard of ‘em.” The host made a pot of coffee and put a loaf of bread and smoked meat on the table for his guest. While he was preparing some food and drink, Dale fingered through the pages. He read much faster than any human could, absorbing the skeletal overview of the text. After a few pages he ripped off the first and rolled half a dozen new cigarettes. He placed them in the case and tucked the book into a pocket on his new belts. A few bites of meat and bread and a sip of coffee later Utan continued.

“You know I can’t have you stay here, too dangerous for the settlement.”

“I understand that, figured as much. I’ll be on my way by the afternoon. You can keep the armor and daggers your son has as payment for the bread, meat, and tobacco.” Utan grunted and nodded, it was an unfair trade for Dale. Daggers and armor would be useless if he didn’t have a cigarette to smoke though, so it would do well enough. “Anywhere to go from here, you’d suggest?”

“If you pass through the Comb to the north, you’ll find a number of passages that’ll take you through them. A few days north of there is a river, follow it to the west and you’ll find Radasanth. It’s the capital of Corone, or was before the civil war began. It’s just the head of the Empire now, and that area is pretty much all they control now from what little news I’ve gathered.”

“Thanks Utan, as soon as the leather is added to my coat I’ll be headed that way then. No need to lie to the Rangers or cover for me, fine to tell ‘em where I’m headed if they come askin’.”

The man coughed a laugh and smiled. “I wouldn’t have told ‘em otherwise anyway. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for my boy’s life. I just see your stuff as payment for the food and smokes, and directing Garret do the work as payment for Jake. We’ll call that fair and even.”

“Sounds good enough,” Dale said with a chuckle. “I’ll take care of any followers either way, don’t like anyone trying to push their shit on me… never been one to enjoy authority.”

[Red Dawn]

---Spoils---


The crossbows, tomahawk, bolts, gloves, and clothing (including pauldrons) are already approved in my profile and this was just how I got them.

I’d like to request that the tomahawk weigh half as much and never lose its edge due to enchantment.

I’ll also be taking minor knowledge (Corone Civil War | Thayne | Corone Flora and Fauna | Althanas in general) but that’s nothing that I need approval for I’m pretty sure. If you give me gold, I’ll just assume it was a little as payment for the sword and armor that Garret used and felt bad about taking for so little work.

Thanks.

[Mordelain]

Thread Title: Chapter 1: The Arrival
Judgement Type: Condensed
Participants: Red Dawn

Plot ~ 20/30

Story ~ 6/10 – simple, elegant, and to the point – you do everything expected in an ‘arrival’ tale. Perhaps, to your detriment, it was a little too conventional.

Setting ~ 7/10 – you have a unique way of describing worlds, not just environments, and the overarching impression of Dale being out of his depth comes through in “half beast half man things” and the evocative language you use (especially luxurious in post eleven). You have plenty of room to develop this further, describing smells with actions, particularly concerning Dale’s quirky mannerisms (and smoking habits), and

Pacing ~ 7/10 – there were no jolting complaints or pacing issues, however, each scene/post itself could have been readily expanded upon. I appreciate the introductory nature of the thread might not have encouraged that in the writing process, though.

Character ~ 21/30

Communication ~ 7/10 – strong dialogue, believable interaction, and competent use of descriptors meant I was entirely at ease with how Dale and the NPC’s in the thread interacted. I liked the ‘Jake says yours’ and the naiveté comments of the boy, it is a difficult task to describe narrative in dialogue, harder still to do it third-person (or third third person? Hehe).

Action ~ 6/10 – in a thread devoid of traditional action, you held your own with the twitches, the smoking rituals, and the breastplate crashing moments that added just enough dynamic to keep things moving. Do not be afraid to be more emotive, running, jumping, and dancing through the street might be taking it too far, but there is always room to keep things moving: even if you are only describing Dale observing action elsewhere.

Persona ~ 8/10 – the shining, coup de grace of The Arrival, was just how strong Dale was as a character. Even though he is, for all intent and purpose, an alien, he reacted well and calmly to the integration. He is still, well, not quite native, and that gives him an enigmatic quality that works well with your writing style. I would feel foolish even remotely trying to tell you how to improve on this. I would err you, all the same, to not fall for the conventional off worlder trappings, and to not be afraid to make Dale your own as he finds his footing on Althanas. Excellent work.

Prose ~ 21/30

Mechanics ~ 6/10 – few typos, good grasp of punctuation, but…virtually in every post, you err on the side of the long, flowing, and complicated sentence structure. You once told me to contract, and add flourish if need be. I reflect that advice back to you here. The dialogue is quirky, broken, and natural…the description and narration between long-winded, awkward, and ambiguous. In a thread polished and relatively well formatted, ‘purple prose’ grammar detracted from what would otherwise have been an 8+. I would feel trite highlighting how to correct this, as I know you can write with effectiveness that is more concrete.

Clarity~ 8/10 – near crystalline, save for readability in line with the mechanical structure of the posts.

Technique ~ 7/10 – you have a strong, potent grasp of who Dale is, even after having written so little with him. Keep up the foundations here, and you will develop him into an important part of the CAF in no time.

Wildcard: 6/10 –

---

I would be happy to develop on the points above, or provide more in depth examples based on those notes if requested. cydneyoliver@gmail.com, or my Mordelain inbox are both appropriate avenues to do.

If you have any concerns, doubts, and worries, and don’t wish to speak to me directly for whatever reason, then I am sure another member of staff will resolve the matter on your behalf. I am perfectly amenable and open to feedback, as the judge has to develop, as much as the writer put under the scrutiny of the rubric!

Total ~ 68/100


Red Dawn receives 1100 experience and 250 gold.

Spoils: The tomahawk, seemingly made anew in the blink of an eye, weighs an uncanny amount less than you would imagine when you pick it up. Wherever it is magic, or just some strange fault in the ore, nobody knows.

Knowledge: You will have to discuss with the Realm of Greeting on your next level up – however, this is solid groundwork to have it approved.

[Letho]

EXP/GP added.