Lost in the Rain....

[Reine]

((Closed))


Faelynn stepped off the plank and onto the wooden dock of some city called Otaria. Honestly, she’d never heard of the place before; until two weeks ago when she’d booked passage on The Serenity destined for Lavinya…and found out she had to go through some place called Otaria to get there. The Captain in charge of the trading vessel had made it perfectly clear he didn’t want to take her there. Had called the place a hell hole and said no woman should travel alone through it. She’d convinced him she was meeting friends and he’d reluctantly let her aboard. The large sum of money she gave him probably had a lot to do with it as well. Damsels in distress be damned with a good bag of coin could be had! During the long trip there, she had learned his concerns were not unfounded. The slave trade is alive and well in the place, and young women were known to go missing far more often than anyone wanted to admit.

Not wanting to be one of those women, Faelynn quickly made friends with the two older gentlemen who had originally hired The Serenity to take them to Otaria. They were more than willing to let her travel with them; once she told them which members of the crew with pilfering from their wares.

Still, when she first saw Otaria in the distance, she’d expected to see black smoke rising from a desolate city. Crumbling grey walls and hard packed earth and people worn by their years of servitude and forced slavery. Rabid dogs would roam the streets looking to eat anything, even a defenceless traveller. Men with wicked grins and missing teeth would hide in every alley and wait for her to walk by so they could snatch her. Honestly, she’d had dreams about it.

So when the city had come into view and she saw wooden structures and happy people going about their daily lives, she somehow felt cheated. Where was the decay of a city long turned to anarchy? Where were the thieves and murderers with glowing red eyes and dull, rusty blades? Apparently nowhere to be found. She’d lost countless hours of restful sleep to a city of average, every day people who couldn’t care less about her. Awesome.

Staying close to the docks, Fae leaned against a couple of large crates stacked haphazardly to the side and smelling of rotting fish and salt water. Being confined to a ship for a week had worn her patience to a thin--almost invisible--thread, but she knew better than to go gallivanting into unknown territory. As much as the city looked safe and the people seemed innocent enough, she had learned recently that appearances could be deceiving.

“I just hope it doesn’t take them all day to get their caravan ready.”

In the end, it practically did.



Two days later, Fae finally found herself standing before the city gates of Lavinya.

Totally not what she expected.

The entire way there the land of Reven had been a desolate wasteland. Nothing grew on it except for some spiny shrubs and spiky grass that looked like it’d crack if she even so much as touched it. No animal tracks could be found anywhere and, worse of all, she couldn’t even bathe in any of the lakes! Apparently, like a bazillion years ago, salt had been sown into the land or something and the place had been uninhabitable ever since. But--strangely enough--still inhabited by crazy Lavinian’s who refused to leave their homeland. All of a sudden that thief Jared’s stubbornness made so much more sense to her.

Now, instead of showing up at the thief’s guild all refreshed and beautiful and totally in control of herself, she was going to show up sweaty, smelling of horse and salt and dirt and who knows what else. Garrett would probably take one look at her and laugh before he kicked her out, that is if he even remembered who she was. She doubted he would. She’d spent all of like two hours with the old man. Then he’d disappeared from her life while she slept, and before she could ask him anything! Like what was it like being Seth Dahlios’ friend? What was Seth Dahlios like? Was he still with that Liliana chick or was he single? Could he give her any tips on being a thief? The list went on for like, ever!

Sighing, Faelynn wiped more sweat from her brow as the caravan ground to a halt in front of the city gates. She’d changed from Radasanth clothes to some more revealing Fallien wear when the sun had made it perfectly clear to her it wanted to roast her alive. Her dark shirt she’d replaced with one of a deep maroon colour. The material flowed around her body like water and cut itself short around her torso, revealing a large amount of her stomach. The sleeves were sheer, keeping most of the sun from her skin but allowing the much needed breeze to travel through and cool her down. Pants of the same colour covered her legs. Their many layers thrashed about in the cooling wind and the material absorbed the suns rays and yet felt cool against her skin. When she stood still it almost looked like a long skirt. Amalia rested in it’s leather sheathe on her back and her Bag of infinity hung from her shoulders over top of it. She’d picked the outfit partially to keep her cool, and more importantly to look awesome when she showed up at the Thief’s Guild. That had been this morning. Now, after walking in it all day the clothes were covered in dust and dirt and soaked with sweat.

Watching from somewhere in the middle of the carts, donkeys, horses and dozens of men armed to the teeth with both swords and expensive clothes, Faelynn tried to clean herself up. She finger brushed her hair as two guards walked right by her, inspecting the large sacks of grains and nuts. The each carried a small round shield and a footman’s lance with a deadly sharp looking tip of it. Their bodies covered in leather armour that must have been cooking them alive from the inside out. As they passed by her without a second glance she deftly twirled the strands around and looped them over each other, creating a braid that fell to the middle of her back. She had no idea how it looked, but guessed it must have been better than before. Hopefully.

She was just straightening her clothes and trying to brush some of the dust off when the caravan began moving once more. She followed it to the large, stone pillars that marked the entrance to the vast city, a city she had dreamed about visiting, had imagined with great grandeur and was quickly disappointed with.

It looked like almost any other place she’d seen on Althanas. Well, except nothing green appeared to grow in it and there didn’t seem to be too many stone structures at all. In fact everything appeared to be made of wood…which made her wonder where they got the damn wood from in the first place. If the land was desolate and barren, how did they grow the trees? Maybe they imported them? Seemed costly. Still, for some reason she had pictured a grand and majestic city and instead she was left with, well, just a city. In fact, to an exact it depressed her. Even though the people who lived here seemed oblivious to it, the lack of colour under the bright blue sky was sad. She grew up in Underwood surrounded by the forest, lush gardens and farms as far as the eye could see.

Trying her best not to get discouraged, Faelynn reminded herself she came here to train and learn to be a better thief, not sight see. So she kept an open mind as she followed the caravan through the streets. Her eyes darted around the cress crossing streets and the people looking for sign of the Thieves Guild. Did they just post a sign that said ‘all thieves welcome’ and ‘here we be, enter at your own risk’?

The caravan came to a stop at the only stone structure she had seen since entering, the trade post, a large and grand structure that would easily have fit five of her houses inside of it. Chaos reigned outside as people, carts and good were being moved around at an alarming speed. Given the land, the amount of trade that went on here did not surprise her in the least.

Taking her leave from the merchants and their band of merrily hired swordsmen, Fae disappeared into the crowd of strangers. She had to start somewhere, might as well not delay.

[Lavinian Ambition]

“Thief!”

The cry echoed through the area even as the guards in the immediate vicinity tensed as one. Turning to the cry they were shocked when the cry was echoed by others in different areas. Figures hunched over and moved with dexterous speed even as they swam through the people, who were scrambling to get out of the way. Soon several figures were seen moving off with sacks of what could only be supplies. The guards were already off in their leather armor squealing as they rushed after the thieves. The townsfolk were mysteriously quiet otherwise, neither cheering on the guard nor the thieves. To an outsider the act would have been odd, till one realized in such a small community it was hard not to have family in either group. Better not to cheer for fear of losing one no matter who wins. Rushing through the post there was the sound of laughter as the old game played out before one and all.

Red hair hid behind a bandana even as Jared Ran and dropped into a slide that saw him under a wagon before returning to his feet. Two of the more agile guards followed suit before one attempted to lash out with his spear. The young Lavinian merely let out another laugh as the blade didn’t even cut trhoguh the leather of his pants and continued through the now open thoroughfares. That was of course under another figure dropped down behind him. Jared of course knew who had done so as slid to a halt as he gave a casual salute to his comrade in arms, “Nice to see you still know how to burgle Demon.”

“Can it Firebrand, head for the meeting place. I’ll meet you there,” Knives twirled dangerously in the hands of the thief. A bandana covered his face too in a similar pattern to Jared’s. Always the same pattern adorned the thief’s masks. A triangle that held a single coin depicted in the center. As he looked upon the Lavinian Demon he merely shook his head;

“Their funeral, but you know the rules. No killing.”

“I would think of the two of us, I know the rules far better than you do. Now get out of here Firebrand. Hawk is down that way he can give you cover fire if more guards come,” The response was punctuated by the man known as Demon squaring off with the two guards before he said in a boisterous voice, “Two, this will be over quick. Come on guys, can’t you come up with better?”

Jared didn’t even bother watching. Demon seldom did anything quick. He would toy with the two of them, giving them the idea they could win before he crushed their hopes. Probably break the spears in the process underlying how weak they were. Jared could have pittied them if it didn’t mean he’d hang for getting caught by them. In Lavinya, thieves were traitors, messing with the only industry left to the small trade town. He only shook his head as he began his own jog, hefting his bag of supplies.

Raids had to be planned well in advance for a couple of reasons. First and foremost was the fact that unless they knew where the guards were at all times, a raid could fail by one guard that went missing. He could have been anywhere. Of course it helped there was a caravan due today. It meant the bulk of the guard were inspecting it, rather than watching the tables. It also helped that the caravan came during the afternoon when the day was its hottest and most guards were drowsy from the heat. While the guards were in no way lazy, the sluggishness would slow their reaction times until adrenaline kicked in. That gave Jared the precious minute he needed to grab the food and medicinal herbs off the tables before anyone could react.

He was just glad he wasn’t the first one spotted. He was more than certain Temptress had that luxury. Still with the thieves radiating out from the trade post, with no clear manner of retreat it would confuse the guards. No one could tell where the meeting point was, and with a few injured guards to tend to, they wouldn’t look much deeper. The only variable was soon to come as Jared looked over his shoulders and his jaw dropped.

Standing in full plate was a man with a full spear. He held no shield for he didn’t need it. He poked and prodded at the Demon who held a mischievous glint in his eyes. The two veterans of this song and dance gave a full on display of the silent war between the thieves and the guard. Jared wished he could stop and watch what looked to be Oberon Delereux, Captain of the Lavinian Guard go against Seth Dahlios the Lavinian Demon, but knew he would not last long with a bandana on his face and sack of goods on his back. He could only ask Hawk, his cover for the details later.

Sprinting down the alleyways he heard the cries of the Guard in pursuit of him and only shook his head. Only a handful of guys could close the gap at this distance and he had watched one of them in a fight with Seth. Still in an effort to practice some of that better judgment he had been told to find Jared sprinted down the streets and was rewarded for his diligence to hear the whistling sounds of arrows. Cries of alarm echoed through the now barren streets as the Guard were thrown off by the sudden appearance of more lethal weaponry to the fight.

Garret brown was watching his back, and in over sixteen years he had yet to let another thief be caught if he could help it. Jared was just glad to know he had the man up on the rooftops. Movement in the corner of his eyes caused him to jump to the side, just as a spear lanced out to go for a rib, a rookie move but one that marked one of the eager new recruits. He hadn’t gotten a feel for the game, hadn’t seen enough friend son the other side. He hadn’t had the situation explained fully to him yet, and it was none more obvious than the “crime doesn’t pay” speech that was beginning to leave the kid’s mouth. Jared only snorted in mirth before the boy stabbed at him again, going for a leg. The Lavinian merely shook his head as he lifted his boot and brought it down on the guard’s spear. He then patted the kid on the head and ran off calling, “That’s a week’s pay mind you. They don’t like losing the damn things. Think on that before you go waving it around like your dick.”

That was, until he felt an arm cross his chest and cause him to fall to the ground, his wind leaving in an explosive wracking cough. As he flipped over and attempted to stand up he felt a rather humiliating pat on the back of his head before he heard, “That’s your neck in a noose mind you. The guild doesn’t like losing you damn thieves. Think on that before you go waving your knives around like your dick.”

How he had forgotten the guard worked in pairs eluded him, but he shook his head and started standing before a boot pushed him down and he looked over his shoulder. One of the more veteran guards grinned down at him as he said, “I’m disappointed Firebrand. I thought you had a backup plan. If this is it, I’m crushed.”

[Reine]

“No, this is his back-up plan!”

Reine fell seemingly from the sky. A bright display of flowing Fallien robes covering her body and a scarf haphazardly wrapped around her lower face. Her booted foot impacted the guard on the shoulder and he crumpled from her sudden--albeit meagre--weight coming down on his body. She almost went down in a tangle of limbs with him, but managed to correct herself and land somewhat awkwardly and less dramatically than she wanted to between Firebrand and the two idio--uh, guards.

“All right boys, now it’s time for you to go home because Reine is in the house!”

As she talked, the older guard appeared to come to his senses and pull himself up from the ground. He attempted to reach out and grab his spear, but a grimace spread across his face. His arm hung uselessly at his side and through a break in his leather vest she could see his collarbone protruding from the skin at an odd angle. Odd in the sense that your collarbone shouldn’t protrude from your skin at all. Blood welled from the puncture site and seeped into the light blue tunic he wore underneath. That’s what happened when 100 pounds of weight hurdled down at 30 miles an hour and impacted a rather fragile bone. Hell, she probably could have broken his head with that one. Good thing she hadn’t aimed there. She had no interest in seeing someone’s brain.

The broken guard forsook his useless arm and instead picked up his spear with his left.

Great, ambidextrous…just what I need.

“I’ve never heard of the thief Reine before.” Her jaw dropped at the insult. Honestly, did these boys not leave Lavinya ever? “And that’s no Thief’s Guild mask you’re wearing. I think it’s you that should run along before you get involved in something you don’t understand. Thieving is punishable by death here, and it’s not a pretty one.”

With slow movements, she slipped one of her arms behind her back and out of their line of sight. “Maybe I’m just meant to blend in with the crowd and throw you off.”

She used the conversation as a cover to gather some much needed magical energy. Behind her back, a ball of energy began to distort the air around her fist.

The young guard smirked as he moved passed the older one, taking her hesitation as a sign of weakness.

“As I said to Firebrand, crime doesn’t pay and the two of you are about to learn that.”

Smiling, even though he couldn’t see it, Reine adjust her stance, her feet spreading on the worn dirt of the alleyway. As he moved to lung, she threw the ball of energy in front of her, turning as fast as she could. She dropped into a crouch. Her body shielding Firebrand’s eyes as a blindingly white light exploded from the distorted ball. Her hands covered his ears just a loud explosion and ringing echoed down the alley and into the streets of Lavinya.

She counted to three, just to make sure, and then removed her hands from Firebrand’s ears and stood up. Turning around, she saw the two guards covering their eyes and stumbling along the alleyway. Their equilibriums thrown and their hearing and vision greatly hampered by one of her greatest tricks.

She laughed and threw one of her arms up into the air as a sign of victory. “Yeah! Flashbang! Take that, bitches!”

Her voice must have been louder than she intended, but honestly she could barely hear herself. She’d thought it more prudent to protect Firebrand. Having created that little magical trick she knew it’s effects well. Plus, he needed his sight and hearing more than she did. She had no idea where to go in this place! But holy crap, she’d just helped out a Lavinian Thieves Guild raid! She felt like jumping up and down and screaming out for joy. However, quickly vacating the area would have to do.

When she’d been in the street and seen what was happening, her first instinct was to watch and enjoy the show. After all, these were Lavinian Thief Guild members, how much better did it get than that!? Other than Yari Rafanas showing up from the dead and just being his cool ass self. Her attitude had quickly changed though when she realized this could be her chance, the greatest opportunity she would ever have, to prove herself. All she had to do was help. The crazy dude with the wide brim hat fighting the guy who appeared to be the Captain of the Guard definitely didn’t need her. Hell, she’d taken one look at the way he fought and knew she’d be a hindrance more than anything. The guy was amazing! So, she’d followed the other thief instead, all the while wondering what seemed so familiar to her about him. That was, until one of the guards called him Firebrand.

Though it honestly made sense to run into him here, she practically wanted to scream, ‘of all the places and all the towns, you had to walk into this one.’ Maybe integrating herself into the Guild and getting some much needed training would be easier than she thought.

Turning back to the thief, Reine removed her Infinity Bag and quickly opened it. She grabbed the sack of--was that grain?--from him before he could protest and shoved it inside. The sack, three times bigger than her bag disappeared into the blackness and she quickly slipped it back onto her shoulders. The item having added not an ounce more of weight.

“Come on, Firebrand. The effects of that spell won’t last for long.”

Without waiting for his answer, she grabbed him by the arm and hauled him to his feet. Once on them he didn’t appear to need any kind of coaxing. As they turned the corner she looked back and caught a glimpse of herself standing--rather awesomely--in front of the guards. Her one hand on her hip as the other blew them a kiss, taunting them.

She loved that decoy spell.

[Lavinian Ambition]

Confusion was more than a state of mind currently; it was the way of life. A nagging feeling kept hounding at the back of his mind, even while he was pulled to his feet after being rescued, and subsequently smothered by a woman who he had a vague feeling of missing feelings. At first he thought Temptress had come to bail him out, but with the talk of magic, that took that answer off the table. Temptress also went for a more form hugging bit of clothing when she robbed a place blind. Further the name Rain rang some bells but he had no time to think, he could think when he was safe from the noose.

Running down the street his mind took stock of everything and he began to form a plan. Seeing the girl was keeping up with him he grunted from the exertion of being winded and recovering abruptly to manage, “Keep up with me and we might get out of this with our necks intact…”

Jared then ran down an alleyway, knowing there would be a wall at the end of it. Sure enough the stone walls that the Guard often put up to keep thief’s from running was before him, a barrier to cause choke points. That had been a few decades ago, and even now the Guard regretted the decision. It was part fo the reason they stopped “improving” the city in the name of improvement. That was because fo tricks like the one Jared began. His boots began by pounding on the flagstones, only to push off and see him hit a crate, he then bounced off the side of a building, the resounding boom of his body hitting the timbers notwithstanding. The momentum saw him land perched atop the wall as his eyes scanned the alleyway and he turned to watch his would be rescuer, only to see her nimbly land beside him.

She laughed, her body thrumming with energy, "You're the one who’s breathing heavily. Just lead on, Firebrand."

He nodded as they landed on the other side and continued, even as he heard the cries of the guard at the end of the alleyway. When the walls had failed, the guard had been forced to drop the half plate they had been wearing in favor of the leather armor they wore now. That was because the heavy plates had turned these walls meant to box in thieves, into a means of losing the guard. When the thieves began vaulting the walls, the guard was hard pressed to follow. That lead to them patrolling more heavily, making it likely another guard patrol would be on the other side of the wall, and the lightening of a guard’s kit.

And so the war raged on.

“Meeting place isn’t far from here but we can’t use the doors…” He managed before looking around. He then shook his head before he muttered, “Wasn’t expecting to have someone with me either…” he then saw the street was beginning to clatter and groaned. Shaking his head he pressed flat against the wall as horses raced down the street obviously trying to cut off the thief. With no way to locate the thief, they also had no way of knowing when they overshot. The guards meanwhile where pulling themselves up the walls as Jared grabbed the woman’s hand and pulled her down the street, away from the horses. “Can’t believe they escalated this to full emergency already, you’d think we robbed a Trademaster the way they’re acting…”

Thankfully she let herself be led along, "Well, he wasn't a Trademaster, but he was definitely a big shot from Corone." Reine said between breaths. "I booked passage on the ship carrying his cargo." She looked around at the walls, the dirt and the fast moving buildings a look of being lost upon her face. "I've only got a couple tricks left in the bag. Fog and ice, one of which is really hard to run on. You let me know if you need it."

“Got it, I don’t think we’ll need it, but once the knights get into the picture you can never tell. Just keep your head down and we’ll get out of this,” Jared replied casually. They continued to run along the alleyways as Jared led them away the guards chasing after them having stopped with the realization only one of them could make it. Another facet of the ongoing war being that it would take a pair out of the fight if one was injured. While he tried to remain unnoticed his nerves didn’t allow him to ever assume he was doing it properly. Pointing at the back of a building he said quickly, “That’s our goal, we just gotta find a way in without opening the doors. No reason to let them know this is where we’re all hiding. Let’s run past it and see if we can’t double back.”

Without checking to see if she was paying attention he took off across the street and ran along the building. Shortly after reaching the halfway point he felt arms reach out and grab him, covering his mouth and stifling the cry of surprise. He heard a similar scream stifled as gloved hands that looked far too familiar grabbed the woman behind him. As the two of them were pulled inside the building he heard, “All clear!”

A groan of fatigue left the lips of someone as the hole he saw in the wall closed up. Jared was about to open his mouth to say something when he noticed Seth dealing with a fully on autopilot girl. An elbow jabbed him in the gut before a foot slammed on top of his boot. While neither hurt beyond his incredible pain threshold, they did wind the veteran thief who barely caught the hand attempting to backhand him in the nose. As an eyebrow rose he swiftly twisted before a punch aimed right at his groin nearly connected, reducing any chance of further offspring from the Lavinian Demon. As the motions stopped the thief had a knife in hand and was ready to dance if the fighting continued, both combatants breathing heavily from the exertion.

Carefully disengaging from his rescuer he looked about the room before a low chuckle escaped the lips of garret who looked incredibly tired, the sweat pasting his hair to his head. He shook his head before he spoke up, “Nice one Reine, not every day that someone gets the drop on ol’ Seth.”

The name finally broke through the cloud of fatigue and the wave of adrenaline he was riding on before he said in rough shock, “Wait…Faelynn that was YOU!?”

[Reine]

Reine’s jaw dropped. Hell it could have impacted the floor with how far out it was hanging. Seth Dahlios, the Seth Dahlios was standing right next to her. She’d just elbowed him in the gut and then stomped on his foot. Holy crap, he’d touched her!

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God…Seth Dahlios just touched me! What do I do, okay, keep it cool, act like everything is normal. NO wait, ask him for his autograph and to train you. Better yet, ask him if you can have his babies! Even though you almost just took out his baby maker. I’m sure he’ll be all for it. Yeah, go for the baby one, men can’t resist that.

Reine disentangled herself from Seth. Adrenaline thrummed through her whole body, making her muscles vibrate and tingle with anticipation. The excitement of the chase and the fear of getting caught making her whole body come alive and the after effects left her slightly shaky and unsure. Seth, on the other hand, appeared more than willing and able to fight her some more, especially with the sharp, pointy dagger he currently held.

Turning to face him, she got her first full look at an in the flesh Seth Dahlios. He still had his mask on, so she couldn’t really see his face, and a large brimmed hat covered his head, which is when she realized he’d been the thief tangling with the Captain of the Guard. Now she really was amazed she’d gotten the drop on him. His fighting technique was amazing. She was just lucky he hadn’t stabbed her. Then again…permanent scar made by one of her idols.

She’d show it off to everyone at home!

Taking the scarf off her face and tucking it into a pocket, Faelynn composed herself as best she could. And by that meaning, she stared wide eyed and with reverence at Seth as she absently waved a hand in Jared’s general direction.

“Hey Jared…”

Reaching out attentively, she poked Seth Dahlios in the side.

“Oh my God he’s real!” She nearly exploded with excitement. Keep it together, girl.

She stared up at his face as she continued to touch him, his eyebrows raising themselves even higher on his forehead. Garret meanwhile seemed to be having kittens in the corner of the room, his laughter echoing around the sparse interior.

“Yes I’m real.” He practically growled the words at her. “Now let’s get to the point, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, right!” She straightened herself up to her full five foot and one inch height. “Besides saving Jared’s ass, I came here for training. Oh, please won’t you train me, Seth! I already have experience as a thief, I’m fast on my feet and… and… I just want to get better! Garret invited me once, he did, he said I could come, so I came! Please train me!”

She watched Seth with growing anticipating, the receding adrenaline in her system making it nearly impossible to stand still. He turned to Garret who looked slightly uncomfortable, his hand scratching at some spot behind his head before he spoke up.

“Girl’s definitely got the guts, that’s for sure. Jumped without a lifeline into the fray when Jared was in over his head…”

He turned back to her, her head nodded enthusiastically at Garret’s comment. God damnit, Jared would probably be dead without her, they better let her into the fray or she was going to…stalk them into eternity. This opportunity was not going to pass her by!

“That’s not my choice, that’s Father’s. At least I’m sure he’ll want to reward you for saving Jared. We just have to wait here till night.”

She threw her fist up into the air and did a little victory dance. “Yes!” Though it wasn’t exactly an absolute ‘you’re in’, it was good enough for her at this point. She was going to meet Father, the mysterious Father and she was going to spend hours in a room with Seth Dahlios in the mean time. If only they weren’t surrounded by other people.

“So I can ask you some questions in the mean time right?” She didn’t wait for an answer, her face bright with excitement. “Like, what’s the greatest thing you’ve ever stolen? What was the first thing you stole? Oh, oh can I hold one of your daggers?”

[Lavinian Ambition]

Jared could see the hero worship in Faelynn’s eyes as she began to bombard the Lavinian Demon with questions. She wanted everything about the Demon, and it was obvious he was going to fast run out of patience at this rate. Still he felt a bit of his anger towards the elder thief and let them slide, after all the guy had used him as a phylactery for a few years and he was sure this was fair penance for what he had been forced to go through. When Seth gave Jared a glance, Jared was in the middle of removing his scarf.

He began answering her questions while Garret looked at Jared, it was obvious the guy found amusement in this as well. It wasn’t often Jared got to pay Seth back for what he had done to the kid and so the Hawk merely remained silent as he watched Jared’s move. It was then jared took stock of who was and wasn’t in the safe house.

Seth was there looking as intimidating as usual. He had removed his hat and was talking with Faelynn, his eyes occasionally darting with the movements about him. A man on the edge time had not graced Seth even though his body was younger than the spirit that resided in it. Physically he was younger than his wife now, but mentally he had been in the world one way or another for half a century. It had created a jaded look to the thief who was running a gauntlet clad hand idly through the wild locks of hair as he looked up thinking on how to answer the next question even as a third was being asked.

Garret was old and looked old. Unlike Seth who had the luxury of resurrection to keep his body young as he progressed his skills in other ways, Garret had gone through time the old fashioned way. Much like Jared and Seth he held himself upright despite brown locks that were streaking with whites and greys. He wore the traditional long sleeve shirt with pants and a vest over it, but that was where the similarities ended. While Seth wore a proper long coat, and Jared often went without cloak or jacket for warmth, Garret wore a cloak that hung off his shoulders. A bow was seen unstrung hanging from a leather thong over a shoulder. Next to the bow was the quiver of arrows that never seemed to run out.

Rachel his wife, and the Lavinian Sparrow, wore clothes similar to Garrets, her red hair was in curls about her face which looked soft and gentle. Where Garret had more sharp features to his face and gaze, hers was an inviting face. It was this that caused her to be more liked about the guild, that and the fact that unlike her husband, she wasn’t supposed to hunt down traitors to the guild. While a necessary evil, it did get Garret a little notoriety about the guild.

That’s when Jared spied the final member of the small raid on the trade post, named the Lavinian Temptress for the acts that saw her follow her mother’s footsteps. Kid Dahlios had grown up and filled out. Her long brown hair was in a ponytail that showcased the curvature of her neck, even as her clothes left little to be desired for the mind. Much like her mother’s thieving attire kid wore shorts that firmly hugged her curves as well as a top that hugged her chest to her body. Nothing was truly out of proportion with the young girl who had been adopted by Sarah Dahlios, the Lavinian Succubus. She of course had been bred for beauty and it came so naturally for her. She had after all began life as a blood puppet for the Vampires of Revan, and was spared that fate when Sarah Dahlios took her from the Arena of Revan.

By this time Jared felt Seth had suffered enough and so he walked up to Faelynn and carefully cleared his throat, “I’m sure you two will have plenty of time to talk in the future. How about I introduce you to my friends and colleagues here, so at the least you can talk to everyone, since you obviously know Seth…”

Chuckles and giggles escaped from the other thieves’ mouths as Kid hopped up on a crate left in the warehouse. Jared then began his introductions, “I don’t think you need to be introduced to Hawk, as he’s met you before and Seth is such a celebrity, so let me introduce you to Rachel brown, Garret’s wife and the Lavinian Sparrow. Give her a few more years and I’ll bet you she’ll be as good a shot with that bow as Garret.” He then turned to kid who was now lying back with an arm draped over her eyes as Jared spoke up, “You’ll have to forgive Kid here, she’s usually asleep during these hours. This is Kid Dahlios, the Lavinian Temptress, and adopted daughter of Sarah Dahlios. She was the other runner we had on the ground, so she had her own fun with the guards earlier.”

“Please Jared, I’m trying to sleep. Go play host somewhere else…” Kid’s voice echoed through the room.

Jared gave Felynn a pointed look as her looked at the others and spoke up, “So we going to be here forever or should we move to the tavern soon?”

Seth looked at Kid for a moment and shook his head before he spoke lowly, so as not to disturb kid’s nap, “We’ll let Temptress nap for a bit before we force her to be sociable.”

Jared nodded before he turned to Faelynn, “So I guess we can talk a bit about why you’re here and what we can do to keep you out of the guard’s ire so you can leave when the time comes…”

[Reine]

Faelynn listened with rapt attention as Seth mumbled answers to her questions. She didn’t even notice the fact that he’d rather be anywhere else than standing in front of her and dealing with a slightly hyperactive girl in full hero worship mode. Though she was disappointed when he refused to let her hold one of his daggers. Maybe she could steal one later when he wasn’t looking. Then again, stealing from a member of the guild she wanted to train with could be a very, very bad idea. Unless it got her extra points for stealing from the master thief himself! She’d definitely have to think on it.

Just as she opened her mouth to ask him another barrage of question, Jared rudely interrupted her., mentioning something about introducing her to others. Blinking in surprise and looking around the room, Faelynn realized two other people she’d never met before lurked around. Garret’s wife a rather lovely looking woman even in her older age and The Lavinian Temptress. She’d heard of Kid before, but more importantly she’d definitely heard of Sarah Dahlios. That chick could kick some ass. But neither of them were as good as Seth.

After the introductions, talk centered around where they were going to go next. Apparently a tavern, which sounded fantastic to her. A good, cold ale after an escape seemed perfect.

“Well, like I told you before, I came here to get training.” She told Jared with a shrug. “I didn’t even know if you’d be here or not, but I decided to take a chance. I want nothing to do with the Thief’s Guild in Radasanth after my first run in with them and Garret did say I could come here if I wanted. I need training, I need to get better. I know what I want to do with my life and the name I want to make for myself, but I’m not going to get any better unless I have a mentor.”

She pushed herself up onto one of the crates. The rough wood pinching her skin as she took the weight off her tired feet. Honestly, she’d been walking for most of the day and then running away from guards for another part of it. Now that the adrenaline began to dissipate, exhaustion poked it’s head around the corner.

Jared took a seat next to her, nodding his head. “You came to the right place then. There is no second chances when you fail here. It’s either success or the noose.”

She chuckled. If he was trying to scare her away, he’d have to do better than that. “You think being a thief in Radasanth is any easier? If I don’t get killed on the street by rival thieves, I face potential guards who aren’t always interested in capturing me alive and a sharp sword to take one or both my hands off. Not to mention imprisonment.” The road she chose was not an easy one, but it was hers to walk.

He looked away from her and glanced at Garret and Seth before he spoke. “Let’s just say that there are worse things than death if half the rumours are true…”
Confused, Faelynn looked at Garret and Seth for clarification. What could be worse than dying?

Garret cleared his throat before he spoke up. He seemed uncomfortable, his eyes not entirely meeting her own. “That’s not a story for today. He’s right, but until Seth and I are ready to talk about it, it ain’t happening…”

She shrugged. “Then it’s obviously nothing I have to worry about. So turn that frown upside down, Jared.” She gave him one of her biggest and brightest smiles. “Shouldn’t you be happy to see me or something? I did just save your neck…literally.”

[Lavinian Ambition]

The time passed quickly enough between Faelynn’s constantly pestering of Seth and Garret even as the light snoring of Kid on the crate echoed through the warehouse. Jared merely caught up with Faelynn in the meantime trying to reestablish a connection with an old acquaintance, “So how did things go with your brother? Is he alright?”

“Ferynn? It was pretty touch and go for a while. He got a really bad infection in the wound on his arm and almost ended up losing it,” Her eyes grew sad and distant as she talked about her brother. Jared could sense the feeling of longing in it, almost like she wished he were here, “But he didn’t!” Anyone listening in could tell she was faking it, her tone was almost as bubbly as normal, but that underlying sadness still weaved into each word. “I’ve been manning the forge with my father while Ferynn recovered. Once he was strong enough I left and came here.”

“We should probably have you change; your clothes are a little too conspicuous. If you have a long skirt and a blouse that should do in not getting you caught,” Seth muttered as he looked at the windows he then rapped sharply on the crate by Kid’s head, “Wake up, we’re moving soon.”

Jared was appreciative of the topic change, and could see it snapped Faelynn out of her revelry as she nodded absentminded and moved past a particularly large box of crates. Kid grunted softly as she sat up wiping some of the sleep form her eyes and muttering about worse beds. She looked upon the retreating form of Faelynn before she looked to Jared and said, “So she the new girlfriend? Or does she even know you’re into her?”

“Are you always this crass in the morning or do I just bring out the worst in you?” Jared shot back a bit of defensive heat in his voice. Garret sharply looked up at the two before he noticed Seth’s hand raise up warding him off.

“Did I set you off again Friebrand? Wouldn’t be the first time I made you prematurely blow your top…” Kid taunted as she stretched, “It’s not even a challenge anymore.”

“I suppose we all can’t sleep our way into the good graces of the leaders. Wonder what’ll happen if someone gay gets promoted. How will you ever get them around your little finger?” Jared shot back, a bit of venom in the words as kid’s eyes widened ever so slightly. He felt a thrill in knowing he hit hard and deep on that one. She hadn’t expected him to escalate it further so fast.

“I guess that’s all you got on me Firebrand, you don’t have much to your name other than a few bungled thefts and-“

“If I’m a bad thief you’re by far the worst I’ve seen, even the Radasanth Thief’s Guild wouldn’t take you in,” Jared retorted cutting her off. Kid’s face flushed and before it could escalate further Seth interjected;

“Good to see that old feuds don’t die in Lavinya, they just fester and rot. Now we done with our dick measuring contest or can we eat? I’m kinda parched from all the fighting too…” Kid looked at Seth with a furious gaze before the thief raised an eyebrow, “I promised my sister you’d make it back in one piece. Never did I say I’d defend your honor. If you can’t be more discretionary in what you do, you can reap the rewards of promiscuity. Even your mother knew better than to drop sex to a petty bargaining chip.”

Kid’s mouth opened in an angry retort before Seth held up a hand, “No, I’m tired of the princess act Kid. Even my daughter wasn’t as spoiled as you are. Drop it.”

Anger simmered behind the warm brown eyes of the Temptress before she huffed and stood upon the ground. Garret looked at Seth with a look of worry before he turned to his wife, “If you could fetch our guest we’ll be leaving. I’ll do the hole again; no reason to let them know we used this place as a rest house.” He then turned to the others, “Don’t forget to stash the scarves and Kid, change out of your stealing clothes. You know better…”

Rachel kissed him on the cheek before walking off towards where Faelynn had gone. Kid marched behind another stack of crates for modesty as Seth looked upon Jared, “Two for two. I have to say you might be worth my spit to talk about yet you keep growing a spine like that…”

Jared looked to where Kid went when he spoke, “Easy enough to do when you have someone mocking you for your first forays into adulthood…”

Seth nodded before he offered, “If it means anything, you probably meant more to her than she lets on. I think she was more shocked at your reaction than anything…”

“What goodwill there was between us got pissed away the second she turned it into an excuse to harass me,’ Jared replied.

“I know, but don’t hold onto that anger forever, one of these days you’ll realize just what she meant to you when she’s gone,” Seth counseled.

Jared looked up to see all the women return before he muttered, “Let’s just hope she doesn’t try to measure it in front of our guest.”

“You’re very lucky she was willing to stick her neck out for you like that,” Seth said dropping a gauntlet clad hand on Jared’s shoulder.

The thief looked upon the hand before he sighed, “Seth I know you tried to help raise me like a son, but you aren’t my father. Please don’t patronize me like that.”

“Call it a bad habit, I had to look out for you in death, and now in life I get a rare chance to do so again,” Seth replied as he waited. Garret looked upon the wall before he placed a hand on the wall and gained a look of intense focus. Muttering words of arcane gibberish the wall shifted and flowed forming a hole before he nodded. Seth quickly ushered everyone outside before garret carefully stepped through the hole and let it close behind him, a feeling of fatigue on his face. Seth carefully checked on him before he said, “You’re getting old friend. I remember when you could do that twice in quick succession.”

Garret chuckled as he replied, “We can’t all be gifted with instant gratification magic.”

[Reine]

An hour later Faelynn found herself drinking a deliciously cold ale surrounded by people she’d never thought she’d meet and people she’d never thought to see again. Life could not be any better at this moment in time. The only thing that could make this day better would be if Yari Rafanas walked through the front door. But since he’d died, Faelynn suspected that would never happen.

All in all, the Drunken Rat was a nice place. A large fire burned brightly in a huge stone heart, great windows looked out into the street beyond and every table was illuminated by a candle slowly dripping wax onto already tortured and scarred wood. A man named Ratcliff manned the place seemingly single-handedly and Jared, Garret and Seth, well really everyone, had been greeted quite warmly upon entry. He had given her the eye, but she must have met some kind of standard for he said nothing about the new girl’s presence.

So, they’d all sat down for some much needed food the drink. The food happened to be just arriving. Huge steamy plates piled high with meat, vegetables and cooked grains. Some of the varieties spread out Faelynn had never seen before, but she dug in with gusto just like everyone else. All of it tasted superb to her, though that could have been the hunger pains gnawing away at her stomach. She’d probably eat a cooked drunken rat right about now and not care. Once she got passed the initial grossness of eating rat.

Conversation around the table was muted but present. In fact, most of the thieves seemed content to enjoy some quiet. Perhaps that had something to do with the fight Faelynn had overheard back at the safe house, or more like they were all too busy enjoying a good drink and some food. In fact, Jared had barely said a word to her since leaving. Even though he sat next to her, his eyes kept wandering over to Kid and occasionally Garret, but rarely in her direction.

Had she done something wrong?

Honestly, she’d though he would be happily surprised to see her when she showed up at the Thief’s Guild and even though her reintroduction to him had been far more dramatic then even she was used to, some kind of gratitude would have been nice. She felt a bit like the odd one out. The newcomer.

Grabbing her mug and taking another long drink of the delicious tasting ale, Faelynn decided to break the silence between them.

“So what happened to you after we parted ways in Dheathain, Jared?”

“I went home and worked with the guild for a time. Things were boring when we realized we had an opportunity to get Seth here back, and I helped in that. Since then it’s been raiding and other boring stuff.”

Other boring stuff? Was the boy crazy? He considered raiding boring. Stealing things was her life, her adrenaline her…everything! It made her feel alive. It sent chills down her body, caused her muscles to shiver with anticipation and pleasure as she plucked that little item from it’s resting place and secreted it away. She could practically feel her body buzzing as she thought about it.

Either that or the alcohol was kicking in.

“You helped bring Seth Back?” She glanced over at the tall thief, talking to Garret with a genuine smile on his face. She hadn’t seen him smile before and wow…he looked good when he smiled. But bring him back, had he gone somewhere? “You’ll have to tell me that story sometime.”

“It’s complicated,” he responded, his eyes following hers to glance over at Seth, “I personally don’t like the guy and probably never will.” Her jaw almost hit the table when he said that, but she caught herself as he turned to look back at her. “You look good though. I guess helping out around the house got you into better shape.”

A slight blush crept up her cheeks as he mentioned her looks. Glancing down at herself Faelynn realized she probably had filled out more since Jared last saw her. After all it had been two years and she’d still been a growing girl, now a young woman.

She laughed softly as she looked back up, her eyes locking onto the storm of grey in his, “Yeah, I guess being my father’s slave on the forge certainly helped. I could probably arm wrestle you into the table.” She joked. She probably couldn’t. “I didn’t have much time for any training though between the shop and Ferynn and home. I’m honestly feeling rusty.”

He gave her a reassuring smile, his eyes dancing in the orange light. She could get lost starring into his eyes. She could see all his emotions play out in them. It was nice to see them dancing with enjoyment rather than the depression that had gripped them and turned them that dull, flat colour.

“If that’s rusty then I’m glad you’re still somewhat in practice. Saves me from a pretty bad fate.”

She chuckled, but inside her stomach twisted a little. She glanced away, unwilling for him to see the uncertainty she hid. Luck always seemed to get her through situations like that, but those had been trained guards with real spears and shields and both of them could have ended up dead. One of these days lady luck would turn her back on her and leave her in the cold. She didn’t want to taste the bite of someone’s steel when that happened. She wanted to get better so the opportunity would never arise.

Turning back to Jared, she pushed all those thoughts and worries aside, her golden green eyes dancing with mischief. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure I saved your ass back there. I guess you owe me big time now and I’ll be expecting some kind of payment. After all, you know there’s nothing ever given freely in this world.”

[Lavinian Ambition]

“I’m pretty sure you did too, how would you like me to repay that?” He replied as he looked at her. It was hard not to, not since somehow she managed to become prettier than last time he had seen her. Was it some unwritten rule that every girl he rescued from a bad situation ended up someone he wanted?

She didn’t help matters, playfully biting her lower lip before a slow smile crossed her now beautiful face, “I’m sure I’ll come up with something…adequate.”

He felt his heart race at that one, and he took a sip of his drink of his drink to hide the discomfort she created. Looking at her after he felt he had gotten his feelings under control he said softly, “I’ll be sure to wait with anticipation…”

Her laughter filled the silence between them, reaching for her own drink to have a sip. She smirked a knowing smile that he could only guess meant he hadn’t hidden his feelings well enough before she spoke up, “Don’t worry, I’m sure it won’t take me long. In the meantime you should tell me more about the Guild. What exactly do you famous Lavinians do around here?”

Jared nodded softly before he spoke, “Can’t say too much, trade secrets as you can guess, but let’s just say that the raids we do aren’t just for us. Lavinya has the weirdest politics of any place you could say. There are three groups all struggling with each other, the Guard, the Guild, and the Trademasters. The guard for the most part just wants the peace to remain in our city, but since they get their equipment from the Trademasters they have to play lapdog to them on certain things. One of those things is the Thief’s Guild, the Trademasters want us treated like traitors, so they have us hung like murderers for,” At the next words her crooked his fingers to make them more official, just underlying his opinion of them, “’Stealing from the livelihood of our fair city.’ Of course the guild makes sure that the riches of the trade post go everywhere, not just where the Trademasters want it, while selling our skills occasionally abroad in order to give us a forum for testing our thieves that won’t get them hung.”

Faelynn hadn't realized how complicated things were in Lavinya. This wasn't a simple grab and go organization they had. "So I guess you're almost like a band of merry men, stealing from the rich and giving to the poor in some kind of self serving, sacrifice way. Not a bad set up, " she shrugged her shoulders and paused to take a quick drink of her ale before continuing, "glad I made the decision to come here and not a different Guild. How come you guys just don't bribe the guards though?"

Jared shook his head softly, "We tried that once...only once. The Trademasters made it clear what happens to those who don't follow their rules...at least where we're concerned. Only time the city ever had quartering..."

"Oh..." she took another drink of her ale, trying to hide her discomfort. Realizing she'd finished it, Faelynn pouted into the bottom of the mug before setting it back on the table. "So what kind of training do I get to look forward to?"

Jared looked to the small cylinder that was her spear before he spoke up, “That’s up to Father to decide. I’ll put in a good word for you; he’ll want to talk to us before he talks to you anyways. Just, don’t try to lie to him, he’ll know.”

Her mouth pulled down at the corners. Leaning back in her chair, Faelynn crossed her arms over her chest. "Why would I lie to him? I came here for training, which I take seriously, Jared. I'd never jeopardize that by lying to the man who can further my skills." She turned her head away from him, suddenly interested in the conversation on the other side of the table.

Jared was at a loss for words at the sudden cold shoulder as Seth cleared his throat and gestured to the table looking at Ratcliff. He nodded bringing over new tankards of ale before he spoke up, “You heading out?”

Seth nodded, “Its getting late and we’ve spent enough time out here. Besides you need to get ready to pack in for the night Ratcliff.”

The man guffawed at the words before he spoke up, “Don’t be bringing my age into this one Lad, I still outrank you when it comes to that category, even if you look like the same young cuss that was all over the ladies.”

Seth chuckled before he held up the tankards. He looked at each person in turn before he rested on Faelynn a moment, almost studying her for the first time. Finally he lowered his eyes before he spoke up, “To friends remembered and friends yet to come. May we never forget the path we’ve tread on the road to where we’re going.”

Garret looked wistfully at Seth when he mentioned friends fromt eh past. The two of them met eyes before they downed their tankards quickly. Seth finished grabbing a small purse before he tossed it behind the bar, making Ratcliff frown at the act, “You know I never charge you, why do you keep trying to pay?”

“Because by the time you fish it out from behind the counter it’ll already be too late. Took me awhile to figure that one out…” Seth replied proudly.

Ratcliff merely shook his head before he clapped Seth on the shoulder and spoke, “I’ll let it slide this time boyo, but you ever figure out how to pay for the tab again, and I swear I’ll clean your clock a good one.”

Laughter erupted from the thieves who quickly finished their drinks before heading out into the night. There was rewards to be had.

[Reine]

At night, the city of Lavinya seemed very peaceful to Faelynn; almost like Underwood. Street lamps burned with a bright, orange flame trying to chase away the darkness and the ghosts, and the monsters that made every child hide under their blankets. Few people moved about the dusty streets and those that did moved in groups. She never saw a single person alone, including the guard. They passed by two different sets of them and not a single one glanced their way twice. She thought for sure someone would recognize one of them and sound the alarm, but nothing happened.

Down roads and alleys they walked, sometimes the light of the quarter moon the only thing that guided the thieves to their destination. Where that was, Faelynn didn’t know and didn’t ask. She’d see it when she saw it. In her mind she pictured a great compound on the outskirts of the city. Perhaps an old Lord’s manor that they’d established a base of operations in. Or maybe an old military base from way back in the day. Perhaps the thieves even lived outside of the city. Though that would make their constant coming and going rather suspect, she imagined.

Ignoring Jared and his dumb ass comment--honestly, what was wrong with him to say something like that? They’d spent nearly a month in each other’s company between Radasanth, the boat ride to Dheathain and then the short vacation she’d had there before rushing back home when she got word of her brother’s injury. She’d have thought Jared would learn something about her. That she took thieving seriously, that she took training seriously and that she would never lie to someone that could help her with either of those two things. She’d also never lie to a friend. Unless Marna asked if that dress made her butt look fat. Then she definitely lied.

But no, the red-headed idiot knew nothing about her. Men.

Walking next to Garrett and Seth, Faelynn kept her mouth closed for the most part. A miracle in and of itself. She’d pestered Seth relentlessly about his thieving exploits and she didn’t want to push her luck. Even she knew where to draw the line. After all, she did want the guy to like her, eventually. He didn’t seem to hate her. For the most part he kind of just tolerated her or something. She had no idea. But she really wanted to do something to impress him, besides try to punch him in the baby maker.

Turning down another nameless street that looked pretty similar to the last one, Fae found herself approaching an unobtrusive looking warehouse. There were about five others ones that looked pretty much the same each in a row on the street. Some of the windows were smashed out of them and each one looked like it needed a new paint job.

This is it? Man, I hope it looks better in the day light. I thought these guys would have a better operation than this.

It was probably better on the inside.

Seth grabbed one end of a wooden door easily over twice his height and big enough to sail a boat into. If they had a boat and if this were on the water. Neither of those things seem very plausible. But still, five ox driven carts laden with crap would easily pass through if both sides were open at once. Seth though, he only opened it enough for all of them to sneak in.

And it was definitely not better inside.

In fact, there was nothing inside but a couple wooden crates stacked up in odd arrangements. The whole thing was empty.

“Not what you were expecting, huh?” Kid said as she walked by.

“Er, no…”

But the female thief had already moved ahead of her. Fae got the distinct feeling Kid may not like her very much, but it could just be a territorial thing. The fight between her and Jared sounded like something old and nasty and while she was curious, now didn’t seem appropriate.

When I met him he was getting over some ninja named Kyo and wouldn’t even touch me after I practically threw myself at his feet, which I totally blame on the blow to the head. Now he’s arguing with some tall, busty and gorgeous chick about, well, I don‘t know. Who she slept with? Why she slept with them? They’ve definitely slept together, I’m not that dumb. Just how many girlfriends did the guy have?

Jogging to catch up, she followed Kid and Rachel around a large wooden column. They swept aside from debris then reached down seemingly to the floor and someone managed to pull up a trap door.

“Nifty.” Faelynn said.

Rachel chuckled before disappearing into the tunnel, quickly followed by Kid. Faelynn stood there for a few seconds unsure before Garrett, Seth and Jared rounded the pillar.

“Well, last chance to turn back.” Seth crossed his arms over his chest as he looked down at her.

Rolling her eyes at the melodramatic speech, Faelynn jumped down into the darkness and found herself in a dimly lit dirt tunnel.

Great, they live underground, like rats. You know, I totally thought this would be cooler in my head. If I ever create a Guild it’s gonna be above ground, where the sun shines and probably have a moat. No one messes with someone who has alligator infested moats. No wonder these guys are all so pale.

Moving out of the way, Faelynn waited for the others to drop down one at a time. The walls felt a little constricting to her and she couldn’t help but feel her shoulders and back hunch against them, like they were going to close in. Hopefully, she’d get used to it.

[Lavinian Ambition]

“You get used to it after a while,” Jared offered as he slid down the ladder stopping at the bottom rung with a jolt that he was sure he would feel in his old age. Taking a step back he turned to the guards at the entrance, a couple of thieves who were sitting on crates watching as the group came down. Checking himself he snapped his fingers before he looked over at Faelynn, “Need the bag you secured for me…”

"Oh, uh... sure" Faelynn slipped off her Infinity Bag and reached inside and then pulled the much larger sack of whatever it was out of the darkness and handed it over, nearly dropping it in the process. Damn thing was heavy.

The two guards raised eyebrows at the newcomer before one shot out, “I didn’t know we were picking up stragglers.” Seth shook his head as he walked by them, not even deigning to give them an answer before the talkative one spat, “Oh come on Demon you know what was funny!”

Kid gave Jared a smirk before she said, “Gotta leave her here with these two Firebrand. You know the rules…” Jared meanwhile was pinching the bridge of his nose in irritation as he opened a solitary eye to look at Kid with a baleful stare. She seemed immune to the destructive properties however, as she failed to melt into a puddle of flesh and bone like he wished.

"And I didn't know they hired pre-pubescent morons to guards the front door." Faelynn said, sticking out her tongue at the loud mouth. The guard tensed under the verbal slap as Jared let out a tension relieving chuckle.

The red head then looked at the others making their way deeper into the guild hall before he spoke up, “I have to go meet with Father, just wait here and try not to get them too riled up. Its past their bedtime…” he gave her a brave wink as he moved deeper into the guild following the stone carved hallways. Claustrophobia was the least of ones worries for being in the guild, but they certainly had encountered a few in their travels. Jared merely hoped she had the nerves to deal with it, if that was the case.

The hallways were carved stone seemingly dug out in the days following the destruction of Revan’s fields. Why, no one knew but they were a godsend to the thieves who suddenly were hunted ruthlessly when the very livelihood of their trade caused the city harm. No one denied that the Trademasters were right; many just believed the punishment too extreme. A gloved hand trailed along the wall lightly skipping as a divet caused his hand to lose contact for but a brief moment. Torches lined the hall every few feet.

Finally reaching one of the many unremarkable doors in the area he opened the door to the sound of laughter. Probably a few preliminary jokes at his expense had already been thrown out there. He looked upon the others in the room before he focused on the one they were all hovering around. Darith Shagath, the Lavinian Father.

He looked the part of an older man, his hair with streaks of white running through it. He looked at Jared with a look of mirth even as he was dressed in the thieves standard long sleeve shirt and heavy pants. His arms were folded over his chest as he looked upon the Lavinian Firebrand and he shook his head, “Heard you had to get bailed out.”

“We already debriefing?” Jared asked politely making it clear what he thought of the issue.

Darith gave Jared a knowing look before he moved to behind his desk and nodded, “Formalities must be followed. Go ahead and throw the sacks over in the corner and we’ll see how things go. I suppose I should ask who triggered the guards first?”

None of the thieves spoke up at first. Everyone looking at each other before finally the timid hand of kid rose up, “I suppose I did. I made the swipe too early.”

Darith gave a nod to the note as he wrote it down. Finally he spoke up, “There is a reason we do what we do Kid, you know better than most that there are fates worse than death out there. Try to have some patience, if you blew it even a moment earlier I’m fairly certain Firebrand would have been caught in the attempt. You triggering the guard cause all of them to go on alert, because as they well know there’s never just one thief.”

“Yes, Father,” Kid replied somberly lowering her head.

“With that comes the question of you Demon, how did you fair against the Captain of the Guard?”

Seth shook his head before he spoke up, “Guy shrugged off all my feints and ploys saw right through them. I had to use magic to get away and all it did was give me a head start. If it weren’t for the fact I’ve been doing a lot more exercise recently I’m pretty sure he’d have had me caught. At that point I’d probably have to throw out the no killing rule to get out.”

“Thank you for your discretion on the matter Seth. I appreciate it when we come to bloodless solutions. I’m sure your father would have been proud,” Darith replied writing more things down. Everyone turned to see the candid mention of Seth’s parents only to see the thief hide his reaction behind a well-practiced poker face. It was hard to read the Demon’s response.

“Hawk, you and Sparrow can now tell me why you came back with half quivers,” Darith replied.

“I actually emptied mine, Sparrow only needed to use a couple of hers to cover for Kid. I spent most of mine evading pursuit and keeping the guard off Seth and Jared. Our sector was the heaviest guarded it seems, a thought for next time apparently they cover the cart access areas more thoroughly nowadays,” Garret replied.

“Now Jared it’s your turn, why do I have a young woman at the entry hall of the Guild?” Darith asked his mouth moving in a wry smile, “And a pretty one at that?”

Snickers spread through the other thieves in the room as Jared felt his face go flush at the embarrassment of the question. Finally he spoke up, “When the alarm was sounded I had to take off, Demon covered my route and I nearly got away when a patrol on the way back cut me off. I took out one of them but hadn’t seen his partner and stupidly assumed he didn’t have one since a few dayshift patrols don’t use them. When I got clocked by a shield bash from his partner I was pretty much caught when…and old friend showed up.”

“Is that all she is?” Kid chirped. A smirk giving her a seductively enticing look as she bit her finger to prevent herself from speaking up more on the matter.

Darith gave kid a harsh glare which quickly sobered her up. The former slave took a more formal posture and sheepishly gestured for Jared to continue his story, “She took the sack off my back and helped me get through a few of the rougher areas of Lavinya without many problems. When we reached the safe house we both got pulled in. I thought and Seth seemed to agree with the notion that since she saved my hide and all you’d want to talk with her.”

Darith steeped his hands in front of him for a few moments looking blankly forward before he spoke up, “Garret you have something to say…”

“I know the girl from Radasanth, she hates their guild and was operating independently when she nearly got caught. Gave us the tip that their current leader is a bit aggressive,” Garret offered.

“So she’s helped us in the past?” Darith replied.

“Yes Sir.”

He looked upon the five thieves before him, before he focused on Kid, “You have an opinion?”

“Too green, she needs some more time working the craft by herself before she oculd hang with any of the other thieves,” Kid replied shrugging.

“Were you any different,” Jared retorted. Kid’s head snapped so fast he was sure she had hurt herself as she glared at her fellow thief. Her mouth opened when Darith cut her off;

“It’s a valid point Kid, you weren’t made for thieving, but you managed to become one of our thieves. I will speak with her, and after that I’ll make my decision. This of course assumes she wishes to become a member of the Guild. This is Reine we’re talking about correct?” Darith cut off her tirade. She immediately clammed up as Garret nodded. She then turned to Seth and spoke, “Bring her in, I wish to meet the savoir of Firebrand. The rest of you are dismissed.”

[Reine]

Perhaps insulting the guards wasn’t your brightest idea, girl.

Faelynn watched the retreating back of Jared as he disappeared down the tunnel to meet with the mysterious Father. The man who held her fate in the palm of his hand. Or something like that. Maybe with a little less drama, but holding fate in the palm of your hand always sounds so cool. Unless it happened to be her fate. Then it just made her worry…a lot.

What if he didn’t like her?

What if he said no?

Would the long voyage here be for naught?

She didn’t even want to think about it. Shouldn’t be thinking about it. She was Faelynn ‘Reine’ Thiadore. She had a reputation back home. People sought her out to steal for them. And they paid her well to do it. Besides, she had already helped the Lavinians before, well, as repayment for Jared saving her life. But it had to count for something…right?

Gah! Just stop thinking about it!

Shaking the worries clear from her head, Faelynn walked over to one of the carved stone walls and leaned against it. If she didn’t think about being underground and thought of it more like an inner hallway, she didn’t feel so crushed by the earth.

The two guards thankfully ignore her. She didn’t feel like conversing with them anyway. Minutes passed and she ducked her head, closed her eyes and lost herself in memories. She didn’t think of Ferynn, she’d miss him too much. Instead she recounted that fateful night in Radasanth two years ago that ended up leading her here. If those guys had never attacked her, she never would have met Jared. Never would have adventured all the way to Otaria and then Lavinya and wouldn’t be on the verge of getting some much needed training. Then again, if Jared hadn’t been walking through that exact street at just that time, she may be dead right now.

Funny how things works.

Thinking back to that interesting night, Fae didn’t even notice the time pass until Seth appeared into the doorway.

“Faelynn.”

She looked up sharply.

“Father will see you now.”

She felt all the colour drain from her face. Her stomach turned into in five hundred, thousand, million knots and threatened to bring up all that food and ale she’d eaten not long ago. She tried to recover her composure, but could tell from the smirk pulling at the corner of Seth’s mouth that she wasn’t succeeding.

Come on, time to put on your big girl panties and get in there.

Pushing away from the wall, she slung one strap of her Infinity Bag over her shoulder and followed after Seth. Neither of the guards said anything as she walked by. With all the tension building in her body she’d probably have hit one of them, so that was for the best.

He led her down the hallway without saying a word, his tall back blocking most of the view. She wanted to ask him questions, but they clammed up in her throat. So she stared at his back and marched on until he stopped at a door, just any plain and normal looking door.

He opened it and stepped inside, Fae at his heels.

Her eyes took in the room. Bookshelves lined the walls, packed to the brim with books both old, new and somewhere inbetween. The leather bindings cracked and faded and falling apart sitting right next to brand new ones. At various points in the wall torches blazed brightly, giving the room the gentle warmth it so needed. A large desk took up most of the space, it’s surface covered in loose papers. Her eyes scanned them, but from this distance she couldn’t make out the writing.

Seth stood at attention in front of the desk, taking that as her cue, she moved up to his right and stood next to him getting her first look at the mysterious Father.

He didn’t seem like anyone special.

In fact, he kind of reminded her of her dad. His hair was graying in certain areas and he had those lines around his eyes and mouth. Her mom called them laugh lines, but Darith’s seemed deeper and he had a couple extra ones on his forehead. He also seemed to wearing a very amused grin as he watched her.

“Faelynn, I presume. Or do you prefer Reine?” She expected him to sound gruff and scary, but he had a soft, yet deep voice.

Nervous, she opened her mouth and stuttered a bit before recovering. He only smiled and waited. “Faelynn is fine, I only use Reine when I’m out on a job. To keep my family safe.”

He nodded his head. “I hear you work out of Radasanth, tell me about your operation.”

She felt a bit uncomfortable, Ferynn was really the only one who knew exactly how she operated. But she had to trust him in order for him to trust her.

“I operate as my own fence. I meet potential clients as myself in the back room of a pub, owned by someone that I know and trust. Just in case there’s ever problem. They pay me half up front and then I go out as Reine. I’m usually hired by the overly rich and ridiculously bored to steal trinkets. Personally, I’m tired of it and I want to do more than that.”

He nodded his understanding, fingers steepled in front of him as he sat behind his desk. His eyes never left her. Seth never moved from her side. Standing next to him made her even more nervous. She’d idolized Seth for so long, she could only hope he wouldn’t judge her in some way.

“How many jobs have you done?”

Oh boy, she looked up at the ceiling as she did a quick mental calculation. “Somewhere in the vicinity of twenty-five to thirty.”

“How many have you failed?”

Her back got up a bit at that question. Still, she had to answer honestly.

“I’ve botched a total of seven. Two of them I was able to recover and complete another night, the other five were complete losses.”

His eyes bore right into her as she talked, and she got the distinct feeling he already knew the answer to the question. Now she knew what Jared meant when he said not to lie. But even if he hadn’t warned her, she wouldn’t.

“You met Jared in Radasanth, yes?”

She nodded, not sure how much he knew about it and whether he wanted a full explanation.

“And what do you think of our Firebrand?”

She blinked, unsure of how to answer the question. Her mouth opened and closed. She glanced at Seth but he was looking straight ahead. Was he asking her to critique him, or was he fishing for something else?

Faelynn turned back to the man known as Father. “Err…I think he’s a good thief?” It came out sounding more like a question than an answer. Father chuckled and she quickly continued, trying to fix whatever she may have screwed up, her face flushing red. “I honestly don’t know him that well. He’s good at stealing, from what I’ve seen, if a little hot headed at times. Not so good with the ladies, but uhh…an over all nice guy?”

Why did she feel like she was being grilled by her date’s father all of a sudden? By the Thayne this got awkward fast.

“I agree, he is an over all nice guy and has bad luck with the ladies.” She could see some barely contained mirth dancing in his eyes.

His eyes finally left her and she felt muscles in her body she didn’t know she’d been tensing relax. She could have sunk to the floor and been quite happy at that moment. But that would probably be embarrassing.

“Seth, Faelynn is your responsibility. Train her well.”

She nearly jumped up a did a little happy dance on the spot. Seth Dahlios was going to train her to be a thief! The ultimate thief himself, she could learn so much from him! Her heart practically sang with joy and little butterflies did the waltz in her stomach.

“No.”

The word was a growl and she physically felt herself wince. All those happy thoughts basically withered up and died. Sneaking a glance at him, she began to understand why he had the nickname Demon. The glare he sent Father’s way would probably have killed lesser men, or at least made them wet their pants. Father seemed completely unaffected though.

“Seth, it’s been your job to train the next generation for some time now. I’ve been lenient in not enforcing it, and in sending Garret to collect you. The world will not end if you teach her how to do your job, since you don’t do it anyway.”

They stared at each other, tension filling the five feet between the two of them and making Faelynn really uncomfortable. She got the feeling this had nothing to do with her and everything to do with…well, stuff she didn’t know about. Still, his rejection hurt. A lot.

“Fine.”

The word was more of a snarl than anything. She couldn’t help but cringe.

“Faelynn.” Hearing her name, she tentatively glanced over at Father. “You’re free to bunk with one of the other thieves, or you may have your own room if you wish.”

Bunk with someone else? Did he mean Kid? She shuddered. That chick did not like her and she definitely did not want to play roomie with her. If they had the extra space, she’d take her own.

“I prefer my own room, thank you.”

He nodded and dismissed them, Seth practically storming out of the room with Fae struggling to keep up.

[Lavinian Ambition]

“I heard Seth was his usual charming self…” The words held a sarcastic air about them as he leaned against the doorframe a grin plastered on his face. Faelynn was busy moving things about the room to make it hers. Already he could see a few things left out on the small table and she was still reaching into her bag for more.

Faelynn looked up from unpacking a large of amount of clothes from her Bag of Infinity and into her wardrobe. She seemed a bit annoyed with him, but he was right. "Yeah... he was not entirely what I expected him to be. But I'll just have to work hard to prove to him I'm worth his time."

“If it helps at all, it’s not entirely your fault…” Jared offered. At one time he was the repository of Seth’s soul and had an insight into the thief’s mind. He didn’t give her a chance to question it before he spoke up, “I mean he has some bad history with this place. Even if it’s coming home it’s like stepping on broken glass without your boots on for him.”

Faelynn tried to process the information, she seemed confused by the offering. Not exactly unexpected considering the last time they met he had been a closed off individual. "Okay..." Feeling like a conversation change was needed, Faelynn pushed her luck. "So now that I'm in, do you get to tell me all the juicy secrets, like what's in store for me starting tomorrow morning?" She smirked and cross her arms over chest. "Also, you just going to stand there in the doorway, or do I have to pout to get you to come inside?"

Jared visibly startled at the offer before he took a timid step in and spoke up, “Not often I get invited into a girl’s dorm, usually end up just sitting in the doorway after my legs get tired…” He then scratched shyly behind his head as he spoke some more, “I don’t go throwing out other people’s baggage, but I can tell you more about the guild. As for your training, well Seth is in charge of it so I don’t know how it’ll go. Usually it’s just a bunch of sparring and practical exercises. Really the only thing I think the guy could teach you is stealth and knife fighting, and you don’t use a knife do you?”

Faelynn laughed at his comment about never being invited into a girl's room. Pulling out the chair by her desk, she kicked it towards Jared. Taking a seat on the edge of her bed and crossing one leg over the other. "No, I use my spear; Amalia. Honestly, daggers are fun and I did try them, but I found the spear gave me an added reach that I never had because of my short stature." Being short did have some advantages. It made her a smaller target and harder to catch. "Do all Lavinian thieves use daggers?"

“Most do, we have the occasional ones that break the norm, like Garret and Rachel. Even then Garret at least knows the knife fighting basics in case they get in range. Then again I’ve seen the guy stab someone with an arrow, so I guess he’s just given up on it anyways,” Jared replied as he sat on the chair looking over Faelynn. She really had grown up again with that maiden next door beauty. He sighed as he looked upon the room for a bit, not unlike his and spoke, “It’ll be up to Seth what happens tomorrow, though He’ll probably try to act more cheerful.”

Jared then looked at Fae for a moment before he spoke, “I wouldn’t mention you’re from Corone to the others. As you can guess we’ve had our run ins with the Radasanth Thief’s guild, so you can only guess how some of the more…” He gestured looking for the word, “enthusiastic members of the guild might take that to mean you used to be a Radasanth thief…”

"But I was never a thief with the Radasanth Guild." She retorted, not entirely able to hide the annoyance from her face. "I operated on my own. Thief for hire. Hell, I even acted as my own fence. The make-up wasn't just for show, it hid my identity so no one could ever tie me back to the person who hired me and more importantly to my family." Running a hand over her face, Faelynn sighed. The day had been long and exhausting and she could feel it in her bones. She didn't need to take out her frustrations on Jared though. "What's the worst they'd do if they found out anyway?"

“Depends on how enthusiastic they get. Just for now at least, once you’re one of us I’m sure you could let it slip and they won’t give two shits. It’s just because you’re new to us and so they’re gonna want to be the utterly loyal lapdogs. They usually grow out of it by the time they’re twenty…” Jared then realized how little she knew and shook his head, “Okay. I just realized…we’re talking about teenagers here. Most of us started when we turned sixteen and became adults as far as this town is considered. So take all the dumb ideas you came up with as a kid, and figure that stupidity into any decision they make.”

Faelynn chuckled. She had decided rather young to become a thief herself, perhaps a rather dumb idea to some people but one of the most influential choices she'd ever made. If she hadn't, she'd probably be married to some lord and be fat with his child by now. At least, that's what her mom expected from her and in a way still does. "Okay, I get it. I'll keep out the fact that I operated out of Radasanth. If they ask, I'll only ever bring up the thieving jobs I did in Fallien for the Cult of Mitra." She leaned back on her hands and continued to regard Jared, wondering just what life was like growing up here. Far different then her upbringing, that was blatantly obvious. "So does that mean you joined the ranks at a young, dumb and impressionable age as well?"

Jared’s eyes took on a distant look before he spoke, “My case was a little different. Darith chose me to be a thief, it was kinda intimidating and exciting at the same time. Guard thought I was a thief and was hunting me down one night, I threw a rock and well I guess the way I threw it impressed him. He kinda stepped in to get me out of there. That night was a bit hazy now that I think about it; I think I took a shot to the head…” He shook his head before he gave her a brave smile, “Not the first time I’ve been hazy on what went on in my life.”

She gave him a lopsided grin and got the impression he'd just let her in a little bit. She'd offered him a lot about her life, so it felt like he was finally trusting her and opening up about himself. "We all have our hazy moments. The last time I had one a red headed thief ended up coming to my rescue." And after a strange series of events she found herself in the presence of that thief once more. "I think he made a good decision though."

He nodded as he looked at her, “Oh I know he did. You’re a good thief from what I saw Fae, and I think you’re gonna do good things. Anyways I should get back to my dorm. I don’t need the guys razzing me over the new girl. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay before I turn in for the ngiht…” He rose to leave and began to head for the door.

She smirked as she watched him get up to leave. Honestly, a tired as she was, she could talk to him for hours longer and in a way didn't want him to leave. Everything here was so foreign to her and he seemed like the rock to steady herself on. "Are you sure? I wouldn't mind if you stayed..." She knew he wouldn't, which was why she said it.

“Maybe some other time, I need the rest,” He said as he moved out the door and down the hallway. It wasn’t lost on him she was flirting with him, but he was frankly too tired now to care. He moved down the hallways to his own room before he shut the door and collapsed on his bed. It had been a long day.

[Mordelain]

Thread Title: Lost in the Rain
Judgement Type: Full Commentary
Participants: Reine, Lavinian Ambition

Plot ~ 22/30

Story ~ 7/10 – From the outset, you establish the background to Reine’s journey, and the reasons for her being there. It was short, sweet, and did not go into excessive detail, as some are prone to do. You developed each NPC well, and brought the setting, background, and history between the members of the guild to life like a trickling stream of information. The beginning, middle, and end were all paced, and the delivery worthwhile. I especially appreciated Faelynn’s development and her place in the events surrounding her. It was never clear if she was there by chance, or planned everything, and that kept interest.

Setting ~ 6/10 – You establish a concrete setting. Whilst effort is visible, it was superficial. Save for the way in which you connected character with kerb, senses with surroundings. You made use of the setting to bolster action and that gained you the score. Rooftops were plot devices, doors were not just scene splitters, and scarfs flapped and masks masked exactly as they needed too. To improve upon your work, perhaps utilise natural pauses in the chase and the action to have your character examine their surroundings. Look for escape routes, but notice the flora. Have NPC’s notice your characters, and have their interaction as a chance to expand on the setting without making it seem like purple prose chunks of description. You both have a natural way with flowing into and out of things, so use that character centric approach to your advantage.

Pacing ~ 9/10 – You hooked me from the first word of posts 2 and 3. The thread does not falter, and the transitions between scenes and set pieces was natural, and without incident. You do not let up narrative for dialogue, or dialogue for narrative, and save for losing out in setting because of this empirical, interesting, and timely dynamism, you are both commended for being a prime example of how to get pacing right.

Character ~ 19/30

Communication ~ 5/10 – For every positive aspect in a piece of writing, there is a storm cloud. In Lost in the Rain, communication alas, was your downpour. The comments below are not so much criticisms of incorrect use of dialogue, more so questions and ideas aimed to drive you both to self-reflection. In essence, they question your choices in the thread, and wherever or not they are appropriate for the sort of things you wish to accomplish with Faelynn and Jared. Right from the get go, there is frequent use of colloquialism not entirely out of place in a modern American high school. Faelynn’s internal voice uses phrases like ‘Totally not what she expected’, and ‘Awesome’, and Lavinian Ambition dabbles with terms such as autopilot (post 4), and transition between American and British English for things like tavern/pub (post 13). Whilst what they say, and who says it, is perfectly clear, communication is as much about portraying a solid persona and identity as it is about plain old conversation.

In essence, work together for consistency. ‘Bunnying’ is never easy, and even the most accomplished writers struggle to remain ‘unified’ between posts. There is clear bleed in of dialogue when you are writing as one another, posts 9-10, and I appreciate it is because of the long time between posts, but try to edit past work when you resume writing, because you have both developed well in a short space of time.

Action ~ 7/10 – Everything about the fighting, the fighting, and the jittery reaction to meeting Dailos the first time was excellent. What let you down from achieving 8+ was the lack of similar effort in the action of your NPC’s. Though each was unique, and you laced references to them and used them as dialogue tools well, they just seemed like static backdrops and props when the main duo were at work. Again, you work well with action in the traditional sense, but as noted in previous rubrics, and from reading other work, that focus on perfection in X loses qualities in Y. You could improve setting at the same time, by having the boat rock, the wind flap the sails and the beer in the mug so frostily enjoyable swill and glisten and pop with bubbles.

Persona ~ 7/10 – Solid identity, good inner voice, and each NPC and character was unique. If you improve upon communication as suggested, this score will raise naturally with such a strong foundation.

Prose ~ 20/30

Mechanics ~ 4/10 – Though you have developed well since the prequel to Lost in the Rain, once again, mechanics is how you come undone. I feel I would be repeating myself too much if I were to go into detail, so allow me to summarise the three main issues. I do not mean to criticise here, but mechanics is the easiest thing to fix in writing, and the easiest thing to get wrong. Even once you have mastered it, we readily forget at the worst times possible.

1. Comma Usage – consistent awkward turns of phrase throughout, where word order, lack of comma between points, and sentence structure detracts from excellent narrative, voice, and style. It is better to follow the rules of grammar and style to the letter, and then adapt to suit personalisation, character, and technique later.

2. Dialogue Punctuation – this is a common error, or rather, a common misconception about punctuation and speech marks. When the run on sentence following the speech is connected, a comma, and small case letter is always use. I ran to the beach,” I said. As opposed to: I ran to the beach.” With that, I stood up. The presence of an exclamation mark or question mark does not change this rule. You both make this mistake in virtually every post, or get it correct, and drop out of the habit. There is also the instance of …, vs. … in dialogue. It is the American convention to not comma after …, and the British to do so (because like ! or ?, the … doesn’t change formatting rules). You do both in this thread, so select which and standardise in future writing.

3. Typos – misspelled your own names several times, and Feirbrand appears towards the end of the thread. Capitalisation of Guard, and dangerous flexibility with possessive commas (that appear to be typing errors). Missing letters, the bane of every writer, are not as common, but please both proofread if you can, and proof read one another’s work – a quest like this, with such a rich background, deserves teamwork.

Clarity ~ 9/10 – even with mechanical and pacing, and action issues, the thread was a breath of fresh air as far as clarity was concerned. Every dagger thrust, twitch, and arrow was pitiable. Every guard’s grin, thief’s smile, and door slam was audible.

Technique ~ 7/10 – I have said inner voice a number of times in this feedback, and when I say that you have used it to excellent effect, I mean it. Reine comes alive in her insecurities, silent debates, and uncertainties. Jared’s barbed witticisms and almost old-school thief persona work well against her youthful exuberance and the presence of one of Althanas’ greatest personalities solders those opposites together in a tour de force. I especially liked the Machiavellian cityscape the thieves’ guild work in, and the description choices – words like ‘old game’ and ‘rivalry’ really build up an air of mystery and struggle. If you avoid earth words, like autopilot, as mentioned about, you can develop your own lexis and not fall for clichés and pitfalls that come with well-worked territory.

Wildcard: 7/10 – I enjoyed continuing the adventure, and the improvements are visible not just when reading, but when comparing rubrics from Chase the Rain and Lost in the Rain. You work well together, and despite being from different backgrounds, you play off those differences in a believable, spunky, and exciting comic caper. I look forward to seeing what happens when Reine shakes of her fatigue, and Seth finally stops being a moody bastard.

Total: 68/100



I would be happy to develop on the points above, or provide more in depth examples based on those notes if requested. cydneyoliver@gmail.com, or my Mordelain inbox are both appropriate avenues to do.

If you have any concerns, doubts, and worries, and don’t wish to speak to me directly for whatever reason, then I am sure another member of staff will resolve the matter on your behalf. I am perfectly amenable and open to feedback, as the judge has to develop, as much as the writer put under the scrutiny of the rubric!


Reine receives 1000 experience and 125 gold.

Lavinian Ambition receives 1300 experience and 200 gold.

[Mordelain]

Experience and gold added.