One Man's Gift...

[Yuichi Inoue]

...is One Woman's Curse


"Dad, have you seen my pack?"

Yuichi flung another item of clothing halfway across her room as she scrounged around for her rucksack. She swore she put it in the damn closet, so where had it run off to? It's not like it had any legs of it's own. Unless some pesky little spirits moved it out of spite. Every time she turned around things in her room were in different places and she knew she didn't do it and her dad always said it wasn't him.

"It's down here, I used it the other day."

Oh for the love of Myra.

She looked at the mess she'd turned her bedroom floor into over nothing. The tatami mats were covered in now wrinkled yukatas of various colours and styles. A pair of pants lay limp and wrinkled across half of her bed and somehow she'd managed to snag a pair of underwear she hadn't seen in months on her bedside lantern.

So that's where they went.

She cursed several times at the disaster, in her head of course. The last thing Yuichi needed was for her father to hear her say them out loud. Two years ago she would have gotten the look, but now that she was engaged to the village elder's third son, she had to keep up appearances all of a sudden. So every time she said something wrong she got 'the talk'. Yeah, a little late there, dad. Honestly, Saburo hadn't asked her to marry him because she acted like a girl. He seemed to like the fact that she could hunt better than him. He said he preferred cooking to hunting anyway, so she already knew what her main chore would be in their house.

Quickly stuffing everything back into her closet--she'd organize it later--Yui straightened her Yukata and rushed out of her room.

She was late. Again.

Miho would not be pleased with her. Then again, lately it seemed like Miho was never pleased with her. Yui couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into her friend.

Racing down the hallway, her small bare feet barely making a sound on the soft mats, Yui skidded to a halt in the kitchen. Her dad, only a couple inches taller than her and as thin as a reed pole, stuffed some provisions into her bag. He smiled, his brown eyes lighting up with amusement as he saw her.

"Late?"

She rolled her eyes. "Technically, Miho is just early..."

Yeah, like that excuse would ever fly with anyone. All her friends knew that if they gave her a time, she'd be at least half passed the hour late. The Lady Akashima was more likely to return to the land than for Yui to ever be on time.

He laughed and ran a hand through his short, greying hair before handing her the rucksack. The old thing used to belong to him when he was in the guard. It was ratty and barely held together. The brown leather worn and torn and covered in stitches and patches from her trying to keep up with the repairs. She'd never willingly get rid of it though.

"Thanks, Dad!"

Snatching the pack up she raced to the front door. Slipping her wooden sandals on while slinging her recurve bow and quiver over her shoulder.

"Be safe! I'll see you in a few days!"

"Love you, Dad!" She flung open the sliding door to their house and leapt outside, running full out through the winding stone path that led from their front door, through the garden and to the street; completely forgetting to close the door behind her.

The garden had been her mother's treasure. Filled with bright blooming flowers, shrubs and interesting rock formations, Yui had often found solace in it as a child. She'd talk aloud to the spirit of her mother there, believing that if her mom's spirit resided anywhere, it would be somewhere out here. Perhaps next to the koi pond. Dad always said the koi pond was her favourite.

Not having the time to visit the pond now, Yui just yelled out a quick 'bye, mom' before she vaulted over a patch of rocks and disappeared down the main street of Amori village.

If one could call the rugged dirt path she flew down a street. Having only been to the big city twice in all her life, she knew the difference and yet, everyone called it a street. Really it was the main road through Amori. Almost the only road if you discounted the foot paths that branched off to people's houses.

People blurred by her as she ran with complete abandon. With the wind whipping across her body and ripping her hair from the tight bun she'd pulled it into, she felt more alive than any other time in her life. The only thing that could make this better would be instead of people, carts and donkeys, she flew through the trees barely able to keep up with the leaping and prancing stag in front of her as he ran for his life.

A couple more hours and she just might be doing that. Feeling her whole body both calm and alive as she pulled an arrow from her quiver and loosed it towards it's target.

A huge grin broke across her face as she thought about it.

When she arrived at the entrance to the village, the Shirayama mountains a blue shadow that disappeared into the sky, Yui was breathing heavily and a fine sheen of sweat had broken out on her skin and soaked into her yukata, but she didn't care. She skidded to a halt. Her sandals digging in to the dry patch of earth, packed down by the many feet which had tread across it before her. Drawing in ragged gasps for air, she stretched her arms high above her head. Reaching for that every elusive ball of light in the sky and stretching out the stitch that had exploded across her left side halfway through the village.

"You're late."

[Yuichi Inoue]

Miho stood under the large Maple tree that everyone used to mark the entrance to the village. It was rumoured to be well over 300 years old and some of the more superstitious members of Amori believed that whenever one of the branches broke off and touched the ground, something bad would happen. Last year one of the kids was playing in it and broke a branch. The next day a vicious storm rolled in. Destroyed three houses, killed countless livestock and laid ruin to more than a few of the fields.

Needless to say he was confined to his room for a while and none of the village kids have gone near the thing since. They all think it's cursed. Of course the haunted stories she tells them don't help either.

Personally, Yui did not believe the tree caused any kind of catastrophe. After all, it was just a tree, not a spirit. Miho, on the other hand, was quite superstitious and Yui was surprised to find her under the shade of the towering maple.

"Sorry, I couldn't find my rucksack. Turned out my dad borrowed it the other day without telling me." Yui said a bit sheepishly. She did feel bad about being late all the time, honestly she did. It just seemed like no matter how hard she tried, she could never be on time.

She'd probably be late to her own funeral.

Miho stepped out from the shadows and walked towards her. The soft features of her face turned down in a frown. Suddenly, Yui got the feeling she was about to be verbally berated by her own friend.

"It's always one excuse or another, Yui. I've been waiting here for twenty minutes!"

She cringed, the smile on her face falling away rather quickly. "I really am sorry, Miho."

Her friend sighed and rolled her bright green eyes towards the cloudless, blue sky.

"It's fine. I suppose some things never change." She gave Yui a small smile before nodding towards the rutted, dirt road and the forest just visible at the base of the mountain. ”Come on, let's head out so we can make camp before dark."

Smiling, Yui fell in step next to Miho, the only female friend she had in the whole village.

A few days ago, she'd approached Yui and asked her for some tips on hunting. That conversation eventually led to them planning a trip so Yui could physically show her how to stalk animals. Last year, Miho's brother had passed away from sickness and though the whole village has been helping Miho and her mom, the kindness would only go so far. Eventually they would have to stand on their own. Yui had no problem helping by teaching her friend to hunt so she could do just that.

The walk from the village to the forest would take them most of the day. They passed through wheat fields, rice paddies and orchards, waving at some villagers and stopping to talk with Iko and Suzuna as they passed by. The twins were busy checking on the harvest and seeing how the fruit trees were coming along. The fertile earth in this area allowed them to grow some of the best fruit in Akashima. Their rice quality was not the highest, but they made do. They could always trade cherries or peaches for rice.

Even the garden Yui's mom loved so much had fruit trees in it.

After a time, the fields were replaced by wild grasses and wild flowers and they saw no more houses and no more people. She had taken this path many times before, so many that she knew every rock and rut and just where the puddles from the last rain would be. When she paused by the Serpent rock, a strange rock that rose out of the ground and when looked at in just the right way resembled the snake spirit, Yui closed her eyes and made a small prayer to him. Normally she would stop and rest here, but they were behind from talking to the twins and Yui knew she could talk to Ruka on her way back.

Two hours after that, they hit the tip of the forest.

[Yuichi Inoue]

It started off small. A couple trees placed here and there, some shrubs and a few saplings desperately clinging to life. Then it rose up like a wall.

The trees towered over the two girls like giants. Their thick trunks supporting a massive canopy that spread wide to absorb as much of the suns life as they could. Unfortunately this also meant they blocked much of the suns light.

As Yui led Miho into the forest, it felt like entering another world. The temperature here under the shade and shelter felt cooler, the ground mustier and filling the stagnant air with the smell of damp earth and rotting wood. Ferns and shrubs and saplings clung close to the forest floor in patches of light and shade. Moss grew on almost everything it could, giving the illusion of green rivers running across the forest floor.

In here, Yui felt at home.

Not that home wasn't home, but something about being in the woods made her feel more content than anywhere else. Her own little sanctuary.

As they walked, she pointed out things to her friend. Things she naturally looked for every time she entered the woods.

"See the way that branch is broken there?" Miho nodded as Yui pointed to a sapling no more than four feet tall. One of the branches overhung the trail they were on and it had snapped. "Either a person or a large animal walked through here recently and did that. The bark is still green underneath and when you touch it," Miho reached out and ran her fingers down the frayed break in the branch, "it's still wet. So it can't be more than a couple days old.

“Now looking down we see no human tracks but if you look closely you can make out the impression of hooves. See the size of them? That's a doe or a very young buck. To be certain we'd have to find scat. They may be the same creature, but the males and females have different scat and you can tell what they've been eating by looking at it. Also if they're in good health or not. A sickly animal may be easier to kill, but won't have as much meat on it nor will it taste as good. Plus, some diseases can still travel over even after it's been cooked. Best to always go for the healthy ones and leave the sick for the wolves."

Miho remained quiet most of the time, hopefully absorbing everything Yui told her. She did not expect her friend to become a master huntress in one trip, merely hoped Miho would take on as much knowledge as she possibly could.

Moving deeper into the forest, Yui pointed out different game trails to her and gave her tips on how to tell them apart. She even spotted a new whisper trail that had not been there the last time she'd been through. At least not that she'd noticed.

After an hour or two of walking, they came to a tiny stream littered with animal prints and Yui asked Miho to name all the animals she could. Surprisingly she listed five of them and said she didn't know any of the others.

Yui pointed out the paw prints of a saberlionness and the deep rutted tracks of a very large boar. A praise worthy kill to make, but one they wouldn't be aiming for. They'd need a full hunting party to distract the animal and help divide up the meat. Today would be small game. Birds, rabbits and maybe, if they were lucky, a small deer.

"While this stream may seem like a good place to set up and hunt, it's small and during the hot season often dries up. So the animals don't use it as often. We could wait here for days and not see a thing. But that can happen in most hunting situations, which is why I'm taking you to a place I know will have something for you to practice on." Yui told her friend.

Walking away from the stream, Yui heard Miho gasp as a sudden flurry of activity erupted some thirty feet in front of them. Deer darted through the trees, their tails up and flashing the white alarm as they jumped and dodged through the low hanging branches, fallen logs and vines. Yui kept herself rooted to the spot as she watched them, when all her instincts said to give chase. They were the larger white tailed deer, unless they got a yearling (which Yui was loathe to do) the two girls would have a hard time carrying their prize away.

They wanted the smaller red tail deer.

Waiting until they disappeared deeper into the forest, Yui led her friend on a different game trail. They talked, about her upcoming wedding, the harvest and even Miho's mom. Every time Yui saw something important, she pointed it out to her friend. After a couple hours, with the sun low on the horizon, she could tell Miho was growing tired from their hours of travel and decided to make camp.

She led Miho off the game trail and followed the sound of bubbling water to a small stream.

"This will make a good spot to sleep tonight."

Miho slipped off her pack and went to gather wood and sticks from the surrounding area as Yui placed what few rocks she could find in a circle.

"Have they started work on your kimono yet?" Miho asked as she dumped the kindling next to her.

Yui paused before grabbing a handful and making a small house, with grass and tinder in the middle. "Actually, I'll be wearing my mom's kimono..."

"Oh..."

They lapsed into silence as Yui struck flint together. The resounding smack seeming so loud to her forest tuned ears. The small sparks leapt from the rocks to the grass. Smoke rose. Putting the flint down, she carefully leaned over and blew on the tinder, exciting the smoke into a small flame. Smiling, she added small sticks to the top and eventually the larger branches.

"What colour is it?"

She blinked at her friend, her mind taking a moment to remember what they had been talking about. "Purple, with pink cherry blossoms and little trees on it. They got married during cherry blossom season, but it should still work for the harvest wedding. Saburo approves, he says it's a good way to honour her."

Miho nodded. "I think so too. It must make your father happy as well."

Yui laughed. "You know my father is a softy, I think he almost cried. Not that he'd ever do it in front of me. But I saw the unshed tears in his eyes before he could turn away."

"He still misses her."

Yui knew it was a statement more than a question. Her father could have remarried, but he never did. "Every day."

Dusting her hands off, Yui stood and began setting up the rest of the camp with Miho. Pulling out their sleeping mats and blankets and gathering water to boil from the nearby stream. With the sun quickly fading, they sat down to a light meal and some hot tea before crawling into their make shift beds for the night. Tomorrow would be another long day.

[Yuichi Inoue]

Yui drew in a deep, shuddering breath. Every muscle in her body felt like it vibrated. Every nerve more sensitive than before. And every sense heightened as she stared at the red tailed deer some twenty yards in front of her. Of medium size and build, with a good set of hind legs, the creature was half the size of a white tailed deer, but would still feed Miho's family for over a week.

If she could get it.

Her friend stood less than two feet away from her, her own short bow clutched in her hands. The string pulled taunt and the fletching of the arrow resting just on the corner of Miho's mouth, like Yui told her. The arrow jumped slightly on the tip of her finger and Yui could see her arm beginning to shake from the strain. Miho had practice with the bow. But shooting a stationary target and waiting for a deer to move into just the right position were two different things. She'd once held a position like this for twenty minutes until the buck finally turned broadside. Her arm had turned rice pudding after that and she'd felt it for days later.

With her hand resting on Miho's shoulder, she watched the deer through the vines and branches. Ears swishing from side to side, nose lifted up in the air. The breeze today was gentle, but they were definitely downwind from it. Slowly, the doe crept out of the heavy cover and into a more open area between two trees, her side completely open to Miho.

Yui tapped her on the shoulder.

Miho breathed out, her body relaxing ever so slightly. Her quivering hand tilting up just a bit to compensate for the distance like Yui told her. One eye closed. She sighted in then released her fingers.

The bow string thwumped forward and the arrow shot straight towards the deer. In the time it took to blink, it was all over. The doe jumped, legs kicking in the air, before taking off at a full run. Yui could hear but no longer see it as it crashed and scrambled through the underbrush in an attempt to escape from it's own certain death. To her, the shot looked good.

Miho lowered the bow and stared bewildered and dumbfounded at the spot the deer used to be in. Her eyes wide, pupils dilated and her hands shaking with adrenaline.

"I...I shot it."

Yui grinned from ear to ear. "Yes you did, and from what I saw, it looked like a nice clean kill."

The crashing sound had grown quiet and Yui knew the doe was laying down somewhere, laying down to die basically.

"By the serpent, I shot it!" Miho exclaimed rather excitedly. She laughed and turned around, giving Yui a tight embrace.

Yui couldn't help but laugh with her. It took some hunters weeks to make their first kill. This was only Miho's third time out. She'd done well and Yui couldn't help but feel a swell of pride out of that too. She'd trained her after all.

"We'll have to wait about twenty minutes, give her time to lay down and die." Miho nodded her head, her eyes still wild with adrenaline. She knew and understood that feeling. The shake in the muscles, the rapid breathing and the fluttering heartbeat. Even though she had not taken the shot, she still felt some of it now, though far less than what her friend currently experienced. Moving would help dispel the sudden energy spike. "Let's find your arrow in the mean time."

"All right!"

Yui let Miho lead the way this time. She made the shot and would have a better idea as to where it flew. She followed behind her friend stopping when they reached the spot the doe had been standing. Kneeling down, she shifted the leaves and rotting wood, looking at the pattern of blood spray on the ground. There was a lot and it was a deep, dark colour. Not a lung shot then. Perhaps liver?

"I found it, Yui!"

She looked up, her friend about ten yards ahead of her and quickly jogging back. Her feet tripping over the hidden roots and ruts in the forest floor.

"Here!"

Standing, she accepted the arrow and looked it over. The steel head held no damage and the body shaft was covered in dark blood and a couple pieces of fur. Grabbing her water skin, she rinsed off the blood.

"Looks like a liver shot."

Hearing a slight rustle to her left, Yui looked over and saw something small and brown move through an opening under a fallen log.

"Is that bad?" Miho asked.

Distracted, Yui merely told her that as long as it punched a good size hole in the liver, the doe would die quickly and not suffer.

Noticing the intent focus, Miho turned and looked towards the large fallen tree some thirty yards away from them, brows pulled down in confusion.

"What are you staring at?"

She watched and waited and when she saw the creature pop out the other side a huge grin broke across her face. A good size, female, with long tail feathers and a heavy brown colour, Yui knew this animal was hers.

"Pheasant." Her dad's favourite. Boy would he love her if she brought him back that.

Still holding Miho's arrow, Yui reached for her bow and slowly pulled it from her back.

"But I don't see any pheasant..." Miho took a step forward and the birds small head came up and swivelled right towards them.

Then it took off, clawed feet digging in to the underbrush as it raced away. Cursing, Yui sprinted after it. Pheasant were fast, but she was faster and she wouldn't let this one get away from her.

[Yuichi Inoue]

Placing both hands on the log, Yui vaulted herself over it and landed in a crouch on the other size. Her eyes, sharpened by her adrenaline, raced across the forest floor, focusing on any and all movement.

She spotted the pheasant as it disappeared under a fern.

Smirking, she tore off after it. With the agility of a saberlionness, she moved through the underbrush. Her small body easily dodging the trees and vines, even as the leaves and ferns slapped her in the face and threatened to impede her.

Behind her, she could hear Miho calling her name, but the thrill of the hunt was in her. Yui refused to stop.

Adrenaline rushed through her system like it always did. Her heart thundered inside her chest and the sound of her own rapid breathing became the song that carried her forward.

The forest blurred by all around her as her vision narrowed down to one thing; the pheasant. The brown flash of it's feathers only spurred her on, taunting her, teasing her when the creature knew inevitably, it belonged to her and her alone.

The tree line broke a bit, revealing a small grassy area ahead of her. She saw the pheasant push off, wings desperately pulled at the air in an effort to propel it towards the canopy and safety.

Yui stopped dead in her tracks. Hard, wooden sandals digging in to the forest floor. She notched her arrow. Pulled back, fletching kissing the side of her mouth, and loosed; all in the span of three heartbeats.

With a feeling so beyond pleasure and satisfaction, she watched the arrow tear through the pheasant and send the bird plummeting to the ground. Grinning, she raced through the distance between them, intent to find her kill.

Pushing through a stand of ferns, she came out into a small clearing no more than five yards wide and across. Just a place covered in low growing moss and ferns and not a single tree. Seeing the bend in the leaves, she pushed through and stopped dead in her tracks.

Lying on the ground in front of her, an arrow wound straight through it's chest, lay the most beautiful creature she'd ever seen. And something so obviously not a pheasant.

Feathers of every imaginable colour graced it's body, fading in to one another and shimmering in the break of sunlight as it touched the bird. It was mesmerizing. She couldn't have looked away if she tried.

Kneeling down, Yui reverently ran her fingers over the long tail feathers, so long they must have easily covered the span on her arms. Energy coursed through them and up her arm, like a hot flame that danced and licked across her skin. Gasping in surprise, she pulled back and stared down in wonder at the dead creature. Wondering just what it could be and feeling the answer to come to her as soon as the question formed.

"A phoenix..."

"Correct."

Yui looked up, startled by the voice suddenly intruding upon her. So intrigued was she, that she had not even noticed the man standing mere feet away from her. His tall body covered in robes. Leaves and vines used to decorate himself to the point where he must blend in with nature itself.

"It is a gift." He said, his voice a soft whisper and yet she heard every word through the staccato of her heart. "A gift to you."

Her eyes widened. "To me?"

He closed the distance between them and to her it looked as if the plants parted for his steps rather than his feet moving them aside. Kneeling down across from her, he ran his hands over the body of the Phoenix. Bright blood dripped from both ends of the arrow wound and in this he dipped his fingers. Covering them in the thick life giving liquid, he smeared it across her face. His touch felt like the wind as she felt him draw upon her forehead, her chin and each of her cheeks. And all at once she knew who knelt before her.

Ruka.

Finally he placed one last symbol on her chest. Then a heat unlike any other consumed her. Pleasure and pain washed over her body and blinded her. She could only see fire. All consuming, all encompassing flames. Everywhere her eyes looked they only saw the leaping yellow and orange and red tongues as they devoured her.

"It's time for you to grow wings, my Phoenix, and leave the cage of Amori behind..."

She could hear his voice whisper to her over the roar of blood in her ears. Or could that just be the fire eating her? It spread out from those symbols and filled every part of her body, racing through her blood stream until it reached way down to even her soul.

Slowly, the intense fire cooled and became a gentle heat that filled her and then a warmth that comforted her. The flames before her vanished, clearing her vision. Yui found herself lying back on a bed of ferns, face pointed to the canopy above. The sun filtered through the sea of leaves and gently caressed her skin.

Rising from the ground, she looked but saw no sign of the serpent spirit. Had it all been a dream? Then she spotted the Phoenix next to her. Though still beautiful, the mirage of colour that had graced it before had vanished. That shimmer of life and energy that radiated off it was no longer presence.

"It really happened..." She whispered to herself.

[Yuichi Inoue]

Yui looked down at her hands and found them the same as always. Scared and worn and covered in the calluses of a hunters life. Nothing looked like it changed and she didn't feel any different.

It's time for you to grow wings, my Phoenix, and leave the cage of Amori behind…

Was Amori really her cage? It had never felt like a cage, but it had never truly felt like home to her either. The forest felt like home, with the sun shining down on her. Her house was her house, but she could live without it. It was where she slept, where she'd played as a child. Where her father lived. But the more she thought about it, the more she knew it was just a pile of wood and stone, with a collection of life's memorabilia inside. She didn't need any of that. The forest was different. Could she live without it? Without the hunt?

The mere thought of never hunting again left her feeling hollow inside. And what about Saburo? She had agreed to marry him, she loved him, would he leave Amori with her?

As the village chief's third son, it was his responsibility to stay. Third in line to lead and protect the town, he would always be needed. He would always have people looking to him for advice and help and should anything happen to his two older brothers, he would take their place. That meant she had responsibilities now too.

"Why do I need to leave Amori?" She wondered aloud. And why now? Where was Ruka to answer her questions? Giving her a gift like this and leaving just seemed cruel, especially since she had no idea what the gift did.

"Maybe I need to figure that out..."

Which meant she had time. She didn't need to leave right away...did she? Why did she even need to leave at all?

She felt so lost and confused.

Looking down at the dead Phoenix beside her, she reached out and gently stroked the feathers. No spark of energy cascaded through her body this time. The creature was well and truly dead.

"...Yui..."

The sound of breaking and snapping branches reached her ears.

"Yui...Yui!"

She spotted Miho through the foliage, her face a mask of worry as she broke through into the small clearing and stopped dead in her tracks.

"Yui?" She looked from her to the dead creature, eyes searching her face, roaming across her body. "What...? You have blood on you and there's...is that a Phoenix?"

Yui looked from her friend to the creature. "A gift from Ruka..." She said, her voice strangely calm to her own ears.

"You...you killed it?" Her voice rose. "You killed a mystical creature!?"

She stroked the bird, smearing blood across the pristine feathers. "She was a gift."

Miho backed up away from her, her face filling with horror. Yui merely stared in confusion.

"It's okay, Miho." She said, slowly standing up. The look on her friends face said it was far from okay, but she couldn't seem to comprehend why. Ruka told her it was a gift, so clearly she had been meant to kill it. Why else would he make it look like a Pheasant?

Yui stepped towards her, only to watch her friend turn and bolt back into the woods.

"Miho, wait!"

But she didn't stop or wait. Yui could hear her crashing through the underbrush like a wounded bear and making enough noise to attract one. She could only hope Miho would not get lost. The last thing she wanted was to trek through the woods trying to find her.

[Yuichi Inoue]

Surprisingly, Miho did not get lost. She walked (or more like ran) straight back to their camp. Yui followed the blatant trail her friend left behind, so obvious a five year old could track her, and eventually realized exactly where she was headed. This dissipated some of the worry from her mind, though the long walk back did give her time to think. To think about Ruka and why he had given her a gift like that.

Mystical creatures were sacred and it was considered ill luck to kill one, even accidentally. They were property of the spirit and thus harming one would bring about the anger of that spirit. Perhaps she was wrong in her thinking of that though. Or maybe he had a specific purpose for giving her the Phoenix.

Half way to camp she heard the sound of water. Taking a quick detour, Yui came to a small river as it cut a path through the forest. The water rushed by, swollen from the recent rainfall, and overflowed where the banks normally were.

Finding a small pool where the water had settled, she knelt and looked at herself in the wavering reflection. Dried blood covered her face and chest, the symbols painted on foreign and strange to her. Of course, she couldn't read very well anyway. But the slashing lines and gentle curves looked like nothing she'd seen before.

She ran her fingers over them and felt the caked on blood flak off and watched it fall into the water. Unmarked skin lay underneath, tanned by the early summer sun. Dipping her hands into the ice cold water, Yui splashed it onto her face over and over again. Watching the droplets turn red, then pink and finally clear. She washed off the one of her chest too, though ended up soaking the front of her yukata in the process.

As the ripples in the water cleared she stared down at her face. The same face she'd always had and couldn't help but wonder again why she'd been given such a gift or what it meant.

The Phoenix represented rebirth, the sun, fire, life, courage, a pure heart and so much more. She wished Miho were here to talk to. Miho was far more spiritual than Yui, sure Yui could occasionally see lesser spirits and she always noticed they were attracted to her, but she did not play into the superstition or rituals. To her the spirits just were, they lived and existed and gave guidance when they chose to. Then caused her problems with their mischievous ways when they felt like it, which was quite often growing up. But she'd told only her father that she saw them and he'd said to always keep it their little secret. Some of the villagers already viewed her strangely because of her ability to heal.

Magic and healers they understood. But fire cleansing a person's body seemed strange to them, even though to her it was natural. Despite their misgivings, at some point in time she had helped almost every family in Amori. Mending broken bones, healing poisons and fevers, even saving lives. Yet still a couple of the more superstitious viewed her as an abomination.

Sighing, Yui stood and moved away from the shallow pool, heading back towards their camp once more.

It took her another hour to reach it, and when she did, she stared at the barren spot in surprise. No Miho, no sleeping mat, nothing. The only items left behind were Yui's things and judging from the way the ground was torn up, Miho had left in quite a hurry.

Had the Phoenix thing really scared her friend that much? Uncertain and feeling more than a little lost, Yui began to mechanically pick up her items and packing them away before heading back towards the village and home.

[Yuichi Inoue]

It took her almost the whole day to reach Amori. By the time she spotted the large maple in the distance, the sun was low to the ground and she'd seen no sign of Miho. Worry over Ruka and the Phoenix transformed into worry for her friend. Miho was not used to the forest like she was. As much as she grew up near it and spent time in it, she had not explored it's every cave and spring the way Yui had.

As the tree rose from the ground and grew taller and taller the closer she walked, Yuichi realized that two people stood near it. At first she thought it must be Miho, but when she recognized the silhouettes she broke out in a jog to cover the distance that much faster.

"Saburo!" A smile broke across her face as she called his name. Tall and lean and handsome, her beloved was everything she could ever hope for in a husband. He took care of her and thought very little to nothing of her strange ways. But now, the look on the angular lines of his face was distant and cold.

She stopped a few feet from him and hesitated. "Saburo...what's wrong?"

"I'm to escort you to my father's, come Yuichi." Even his tone seemed so cold to her. Where was the gentle voice of the man she loved?

The other man standing next to him she recognized as Oda, Saburo's oldest brother and next in line to become the chief. He stared down at her with cold, brown eyes. His mouth pulled down in a perpetual frown. In fact, she'd never seen the man smile before.

Yui hesitated, feeling a sudden fist clenching inside of her stomach and knowing something was wrong. Really wrong.

"It's not my father is it? He's okay right?" Saburo's face softened only a little, though Oda continued to stare at her with contempt.

"Hideaki-san is fine, he's waiting for you at the house." Saburo responded.

"Then what's going on? I don't understand, Saburo..."

"Enough banter."

Oda roughly grabbed her by her left arm and began hauling her off towards the village. Glaring, she ripped her arm out of his grasp.

"I can walk without the help, Oda-san, and don't think yourself familiar enough with me to touch me." She said curtly.

Of all of chief Shiyo's children, she disliked Oda the most. He always seemed cold and calculating and cruel. She'd seen his wife show up at the hot spring with bruises on her body more than once and had even healed a badly broken wrist before.

His face turned dark with anger, but she ignored him and tried to act as casual as possible as she was escorted to the chief's house, one son on either side of her.

Saburo said not another word, his face a mask that stared straight forward. Yui wanted him to look at her so badly and give her that bright smile she loved so much. But he wouldn't so much as her way.

The villagers on the other hand did plenty of that for him. They stared and gawked and watched her walk by with expressions that ranged from fear to anger.

Why do they all look at me so?

The only thing she could think of was the Phoenix.

What had Miho told them?

[Yuichi Inoue]

The house of the village chief was the largest house in all of Amori and sat towards the Northern outskirts, raised above the rest on the rising plateau of the Shirayama Mountains. She'd been here many times before and always considered it a happy place, though now at this moment she wished to be anywhere else. Back in the forest, back home, back anywhere.

The two story building loomed above her. Dominating her view of the mountain beyond, and for the first time the bright windows seemed dark, the front porch ominous and kept in shadow. Even the little dragon statues that stood guard next to the wooden steps seemed to stare out at her. Their long, lithe bodies threatening to come alive and wrap her in their cold, stone embrace.

She didn't want to go inside.

Yet what else could she do?

Taking a deep breath, Yui followed the stiff back of Oda and entered the front door.

Immediately she could hear voices in the dimly lit interior, though she could not make out what was being said. They carried down the hallway to the left, the same one Oda now took. She turned and followed, walking passed her favourite painting of the mountains, done by Shiyo's second wife and Saburo's mother; Nanami.

The farther down they walked, the louder the voices began. Though still muffled, she caught some words here and there; banishment, spirits, disgrace. Every one made her stomach turn.

Perhaps she shouldn't have returned. Ruka said to spread her wings and fly. But the thought of leaving without saying anything to her father made her feel far more sick than she already did. No, she'd done the right thing by coming back...she hoped.

Stopping outside the door to the study and where Shiyo took most of his audiences, Yui took a deep breath just as Oda slid open the door.

Surprise coloured her face at the number of people within. At least one member from each of the important families filled the room, with Shiyo standing at the back; her father and Miho next to him. Her father's face was flush with anger, Miho's pale in comparison, her eyes widening to that same fearful expression she'd had in the woods. The rest of the people; Izuno, Junbei, Haoko, Akiko, Yuudai, Fumi and more, they all looked at her with expressions that ranged from fear to sadness, to contempt and anger.

"Shiyo-san." Yui bowed her head in respect towards the village chief. She had not been this formal in a long time towards him and it felt weird to her.

"Yuichi..." She looked up at the hard note in his voice, his expression unreadable as he examined her from head to toe. "Miho has informed us that you killed a Phoenix while out hunting."

As she opened her mouth, her father chose that moment to interrupt, his heated and angry words filling the study. "This is ridiculous, Yuichi respects the forest and the spirits, sh--"

"I did."

Yui kept her eyes on her father and watched the colour drain from his skin, turning it an ashen and sickly hue. That simple statement left the whole room in silence and tension. She felt it thrumming across her body like a living thing. Their eyes raked over her, making her feel exposed even with the layers of her yukata.

"Yui..." He tried to step towards her, but Shiyo stopped him with a simple movement of his hand.

They all turned to Shiyo, his feelings hidden behind a blank mask. His angular face holding none of the warmth she usually saw. His grey eyes looking like two rocks.

"Why?" Even though the word was softly spoken, she could feel the force behind it.

"It looked like a Pheasant." When his brows drew up in question, she continued. "Miho had just shot her deer and while we waited for it to die I heard movement to my left. When I looked over I saw a Pheasant. I drew back my bow to shoot it, but Miho made too much noise and scared it off."

"Miho, did you see the Pheasant?"

She meekly shook her head no.

"What happened next?"

"I chased it through the woods. When the Pheasant reached a small clearing, it took flight to evade me. I drew back my bow and shot it."

She could hear people talking and whispering, but she couldn’t make out what they were saying and Shiyo motioned for her to continue.

"I entered the field and looked for the Pheasant, but couldn't see it. Instead, I saw one of the most beautiful creatures I've ever seen. Small and lithe of frame with large wings and a gracefully long neck. The feathers shimmered with every colour imaginable and when I touched her, it felt like lightning raced up my body." She could still remember the way that Phoenix had lain in the ferns. It body placed there in such a way it almost looked to be sleeping.

"I was mesmerized and scared. I didn't know what to do." Yui hated admitting to the fear, but imagined anyone who dared kill a mystical creature would be afraid. "Then Ruka appeared."

The room erupted in voices at that, making it impossible to continue her story. She looked from left to right as people argued and yelled at her, questions and insults and statements thrown from every direction.

"You can't lie to cover up what you've done!" Haoko yelled, her old and wrinkled face twisted in anger.

"Why would Ruka appear to the likes of you?" Junbei sneered.

"You're just an old soldier's daughter, no spirit would ever appear to you." Akiko spat at her.

But they had.

"Liar!"

“You murdered a mystical creature!”

Her whole life she'd seen spirits and had talked to them many times. Only she'd kept it a secret from everyone but her father and now, if she tried to tell them now, she knew they wouldn't listen or believe her. They'd think she was just trying to justify her own actions.

Perhaps nothing could justify killing that Phoenix. Ruka told her to fly, to leave her cage behind, that it was a gift. No one here seemed to think it a gift. They looked at her like she'd become a curse.

[Yuichi Inoue]

It took Shiyo a minute to control the tide of the room. The sudden silence that followed more deafening than the voices before. Yui didn't want to fill it with her story, she didn't want to tell them what Ruka had said to her. It felt wrong, all of this felt wrong.

She just wanted to go back to the forest where everything made sense.

"What did Ruka tell you, Yuichi?"

"He..." She hesitated and he gave her an encouraging smile, one that didn't reach the cold granite of his eyes. "He told me the Phoenix was a gift."

Yui almost reflexively drew in, her eyes darting from one familiar face to another as she expected another outburst. Nothing happened this time.

"And the blood?"

Her whole body tensed as Shiyo asked her that simple question. "Ruka dipped his fingers in it and drew on both my cheeks, my forehead and my chest."

She didn't tell them about the fire consuming her, or what else he said. Those words had been meant for her alone.

"Do you remember what they looked like?"

She did.

Yui had stared at her reflection for a long time. She remembered every loop and whirl, every slash and every line. But when she opened her mouth to say yes, a cold fist gripped her heart.

"No...I'd never seen them before." She lied and it came so easily it surprised her.

He nodded. "And what did you do with the Phoenix?"

"I...left it there." There had been no point in doing anything else with it. The gift was made. All life had fled the mystical bird leaving nothing but a shell.

"Tell Oda where it is and he and Saburo will retrieve it."

"No." She said resolutely. Her back straight as the walls that surrounded them. That simple word resounded through the room. "The Phoenix is part of the forest and I left her there to return to it."

Shiyo smiled sympathetically. "We just want--"

"No, it's Ruka's gift to me and thus I say it remains in the forest where it belongs." Phoenix feathers were said to be powerful objects. Though she had felt nothing within the Phoenix after the gift had been made, she still didn't want Oda or Shiyo or even Saburo to touch it. It belonged to her.

His face coloured with anger, his mouth pulling down at the corners, the lines on his face became more pronounced and for once he looked his age.

"Fine." He turned his attention from her and nodded his head to Oda, whom she could still see standing slightly off to her left. Saburo still on her right.
"Take her away."

Oda grabbed her left arm, she tried to wrench it free but he twisted it up behind her back, shoving her wrist against her shoulder blade. She bit back the cry of pain building in her throat and blinked away the tears that blurred her vision. When she tried to elbow him in the face, he merely laughed, dodged her pathetic attack, and twisted back her other arm.

"Let me go!" She struggled and fought every step he pulled her back, but it only made him laugh. "I did nothing wrong!"

He wrenched her back against him, almost tearing her right shoulder from it's socket. Fiery hot pain seared along her shoulder and back. This time, Yui couldn't stop the cry that escaped her. Oda chuckled quietly in her ear, his breath fanning across her neck and turning her stomach.

"I love that sound you just made and the more you struggle, the more I'll coax it out of you." He whispered to her.

She stilled, her stomach roiling with revulsion. A sighed breezed across her neck.

"Wait!" Her father called. "She said the Phoenix was a gift! You told me nothing would happen to her."

"I did, but she admitted to killing it and Miho did not see Ruka. She's clearly lying in an attempt to save herself." Shiyo said off-handedly. "Take her to the storage house and lock her inside, Oda. Saburo, you take Hideaki home while the rest of us discuss her punishment. We must make it up to the spirits or fear retribution."

"But I didn't do anything, Shiyo-san!" Yui cried.

"You killed a mystical creature." He spat back at her.

"It looked like a Pheasant. Why disguise it as a Pheasant unless Ruka meant for me to kill it!"

Even as she protested, Oda forced her to turn and began marching her out of the room. Panic started to claw away at her mind. She didn't want to go to the storage house. There were no windows, no way for the sun to shine in on her.

"Dad! Don't let them do this to me!" She struggled against Oda, even knowing he enjoyed it. She couldn't go to that storage house, she couldn't. "Ruka said it was a gift! He gave her to me!"

Every eye in the room was on her as Oda forced her out the door. She didn't care about keeping her composure. She didn't care what they thought of her. Yui had helped every one of these families at some point, she'd even saved Junbei's life, and still they condemned her.

"Yuichi!" She heard her father's voice and tried to turn around and see him, but Oda twisted her arms up even higher.

As she passed the thresh hold, the last person she walked by was Saburo; her love and future husband. His face a mask of pain that made her heart twist in her chest.

[Yuichi Inoue]

The storage house lay further back behind the Kagawa residence, nestled into the rock face of the Shirayama mountains. It stood two stories and had a fat, square shape to it with few to no decorations. Every family in Amori had their own storage house, though this one also doubled as the jail on the rare occasion someone commited a crime here.

Yuichi had only ever seen it used three times before. Now she was going to be the forth.

There were already two guards posted out front of the large and heavy wooden door, and she realized that no matter what she had said in that meeting, Shiyo had planned on her ending up in here. She couldn't imagine why. Did he fear the potential wrath of the spirits that much? Or was it just her?

Neither of the men were familiar to her. They didn't so much as glance sideways as Oda shoved her into the open door. Torches burned inside, casting an orange glow across the boxes and crates, furniture and various items of a long lived family placed in storage. Shadows danced along the walls, creeping into the corners, and creating a macabre scene to her light adjusted eyes.

He took Yui to the back and up a flight of old wooden stairs that creaked even under her meagre weight.

A single torch lit the upstairs. It hung across from what she could only describe as a box made of bars. The door to it open, Oda forced her in and finally released her arms. Pain flooded down her shoulders and right to the tips of her fingers. Spinning around, she watched Shiyo's eldest son close the door on her and turn the old, rusted key in the lock.

"You can't leave me in here!" She yelled at him, even knowing it was pointless, even knowing it would give him some sick form of satisfaction to see her displeasure.

He smirked. "Oh, but I can and I will."

He turned to leave, but stopped midstep. His brow drawing up as he looked at her thoughtfully. "I just remembered. Saburo told me once that you don't like the dark." With malicious glee, he snatched the torch from the wall.

Yui said nothing. She refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her scared. After all, she feared not the dark, she feared the absence of the sun.

He waited for her to do something, say something but she kept her hazel eyes trained on his face and refused to look at the brightly burning ember clutched in his hand.

The smile slowly turned into a frown. "Nothing? Then I guess you won't be missing it."

With that he turned and strode away, taking the only source of light with him. She watched until all she could see was the darkness.

Feeling her way towards the bed she'd seen earlier, Yuichi sat down on the edge of it and bowed her head. She felt hollow inside. Outrage, indignation, fear, any of those would have been preferable to the cold, blank nothing she felt at the moment. The whole village had turned against her in the blink of an eye. Why?

She should never have come back.

[Yuichi Inoue]

She slept.

Or at least she thought she slept.

When she closed her eyes, all she saw was darkness. When she opened them, all that surrounded her was a black hole of nothing. Sometimes, a bit of light would filter in from downstairs and she could just barely make out the shape of the bars and blank emptiness of her cell. But most of the time she saw nothing and heard nothing. The storage rooms were build to withstand everything nature could throw at them and then some. They were as solid as the mountain the village perched upon and she had no hope of getting out of here, not without a key and definitely not without being able to see.

For now, she felt okay. It was only a matter of time until the lack of sunlight would start eating away at her. Yui didn't know why, but even as a child, without the sun she became a shadow of herself. It was like the light fuelled her, filled her with an energy unlike any other. In here, in this oppressive blank pit of nothing, she felt like she'd never see it again. All she had to listen to were the soft creaks and groans of the wood and her own thoughts.

Over and over again Ruka appeared in her mind. She played that memory over so many times it felt more like a dream than reality. Or perhaps this was the dream and she'd wake up soon?

Why give her a gift only to let her be locked up?

What was the point of the gift?

If she was supposed to help people, she couldn't do that from in here. If she was supposed to leave Amori like he said, there was no way she could do that now.

Why?

Why?

Why!?

Hot tears blurred her vision and rolled down the side of her face, disappearing into her hair. She stared up at the ceiling, or at least she thought she did. Yui couldn't see it to be sure. She stared and let the tears run across her face, let the sobs she wanted to release build up in her throat and threaten to suffocate her.

She should have never chased that Pheasant. It had pulled at her, called to her, and she had not bothered resisting.

From somewhere below her, Yui heard the door open. The old hinges squeaked in protest. Muffled voices filtered up the stairs to her.

Yui wiped her face on her sleeve. Somewhere to her left lay a basin of tepid water. She felt around blindly, smacking her hand off it and cursing as that throbbing pain spread across her fingers and water sloshed over the edge. Cupping her hands, she dipped them in and splashed the refreshing liquid on her face.

The crystal spire would crumble before she would let them see the tears in her eyes.

Drying her face on her sleeve, she turned towards the bars and waited.

The light greeted her first. It crept up through the darkness slowly, filling her dark adjusted eyes and allowing her to see once again. The relief of that alone almost made her want to cry. She bit it back and sat on the edge of her hard bed, waiting, watching that yellow glow become brighter and brighter. Finally, the light rounded the corner, a bright mass of flame and her eyes were drawn to it like any moth. So focused on it that at first she did not recognise the person that held the life giving flame just out of her reach.

"Saburo!"

[Yuichi Inoue]

His face crumpled in relief, "Yui..."

She walked to the bars, feeling those damn tears fall down her face again. All she wanted to feel were his arms around her, holding her tight and comforting her. His breath across her face right before his kissed her. And the taste of him. She wanted that familiarity so much right now.

He reached into her cell and she twinned her fingers through his. Even that small amount of contact alleviated the fear and uncertainty she had not realized was taking over her heart.

"What's going on, Saburo? Why is this happening?" She pleaded.

He closed his eyes and drew it a ragged breath. Her heart practically stopped beating as she felt it squeezed inside her chest. Saburo said nothing and the silence almost undid her. With slow movements, he set the lantern on the floor and reached in with his other hand, laying his palm across the side of her face; thumb stroking her cheek and wiping away the trail of salty water.

"Please, my Kuma, tell me what's happening. I-I...I know I made a mistake. I know the villagers are scared. But everything I said was the truth. I-I..."

Her throat felt like it was constricting and the words just wouldn't come out. Closing her eyes, Yui rested her forehead against the bars. Her cage.

Amori really has become my cage...is it too late to leave?

"My father and the villages talked long into the night." Saburo said, his voice strained, his whole body tense. She could feel it in his hands as they practically shook. "I spent most of my time with Hideaki-san, as my father would not allow me in on the discussion. He said I am blinded by my feelings towards you."

Talked, about her fate. Yui squeezed Saburo's hand tightly and his fingers crushed hers in return.

"What did they decide?" Her voice barely above a whisper.

"They have not come to a conclusion yet." His voice sounded strained.

She stepped back from the bars and looked into his eyes, searching them for something. The love for her, it still lay within, she could see it. But it seemed muted, hidden behind the mask of pain and confusion.

"You have to convince your father to let you in the discussion, Saburo. You must!" She reached through the bars and touched the smooth skin of his cheek.

He leaned against her hand, "I'll do what I can, Yuichi."

"Saburo...you're the only one that believes me."

Then he pulled away from her and right then and there she saw the uncertainty inside of him. She saw the fear and mistrust, but most of all, she saw his hesitation.

A coldness settled over her.

She stepped away from him, from the bars that held her. "You don't believe me...do you?"

He looked away, his dark brown eyes searching the floor and Yui could not begin to fathom what was going on inside his mind. The man she loved even thought her a liar, thought her a murderer.

"No, Yuichi, that's not it...I just..." Saburo reached through the bars, but she stepped back from his touch.

"That's why you remained silent the whole time the meeting took place, isn't it?"

He said nothing, merely looked at her.

"Isn't it!?"

Her hands balled into fists, nails biting in to the calloused skin of her palms. Saburo wavered in front of her as the tears built in her eyes. Yui turned her back on him, the biggest insult she could do from inside this cell. If she could have, she probably would have hit him at that moment.

"I'm sorry, Yui...you know I cannot go against my father, but I'll do what I can." She didn't bother answering him and could hear his sigh even feet away.

"I should return to the house before I am missed. I'll...leave the lantern for you. I know you detest the dark." There was a note of pleading in his voice, as if he wanted her to turn around and look at him once more.

She didn't.

Silence settled over the two of them. After a time, she heard his feet shift on the wooden floor and his heavy footsteps as he walked away.

Everyone in the village had condemned her, even her love. He listened to her story and deemed it false.

She stood there, looking at the back wall of her cell. The shadows flicking as the flame within the lantern shifted, sputtered and flared. She stared at that back wall, but never really saw it. Her mind refusing to move beyond the betrayal of everyone she knew; everyone except her father. Even then, she remembered the way his face had paled when she had confessed her sin. Had he given up on her as well?

Was her only choice to stand in this cell and await her fate?

Eventually she forced her stiff legs to move one step at a time. Grabbing the blanket from her hard and uncomfortable bed, she curled up on the floor as close to the lantern and the light as she could physically get. The yellow and orange glow beyond the dirty glass pulled at her. When she reached towards the lantern, it looked as if the fire shifted and leaned towards her outstretched fingers, longing to touch her.

Her finger tips brushed against the heated glass, warmth spread up through her hand and arm, burrowing deep into her body. Strangely, the hot glass did not burn her.

Slowly, her eyes grew heavy.

Beyond the walls of the storehouse she could feel the earth. It remained stoic and strong as it supported her. The clouds, they gathered in the sky and somewhere close by a torrent of rain fell; weeping for her. Through the cracks in the mortar and stone, the wind howled and whipped through, keening softly, whispering soothing words to her and tugging her further towards sleep.

Slowly, she closed her eyes and let it overcome her.





Spoils:

Blessing of the Phoenix

Spirit travel - Yui now has the ability to leave her body behind and travel the world of Althanas by spirit. In this state, she appears as solid and whole as any living person and can effect the world around her like any person. Her spirit sight is strengthened in this form, she can see and communicate with them more readily and she sees people differently as well, almost seeing their soul more than their physical self. Her real body appears to be sleeping very deeply when she does this. Any damage taken in this state is transferred to her real body, if she dies in spirit form, her body dies as well. Eating and drinking while in spirit replenishes her real body. Right now, Yui does not consciously do this and thinks that when she travels as her spirit, she is merely dreaming.

[Otto]

Plot: 21

Story: 7Very well told, and it should work well as one part of a larger story arc. On the other hand: a bit predictable, overall, and the conflict with the rest of the village seems to be a little bit forced.


Setting: 6Setting was fairly well described, and integral to Yui and Miho’s outing(s) to the forest. Otherwise, it remained a background detail and did not enrich the story a great deal.


Pacing: 8This thread flows wonderfully, and reading it never felt like a chore. It was never too plodding or too rushed, even though it did alternate to meet demand.


Character: 21

Communication: 6Fairly decent dialogue, but without much of a profound impact on our understanding of the characters themselves, or too much to add to the story. Each character could also do with developing their own ‘voice’ a little, too – not just the words they use, but perhaps the way they deliver them.


Action: 8This appears to be a case of actions speaking louder than words – Yui’s reckless chase of the ‘pheasant’, her refusal to let others see her cry, Oda’s manhandling, Miho’s trembling bow arm. This is your forté.


Persona: 7Between dialogue, action and exposition, you formed a good understanding of most of the characters. This could have been expanded on for Yui and Saburo’s fathers, too, and Miho. They are important people, and it would have benefited the story to make them a little more prominent. This is particularly true of Ruka.


Prose: 20

Mechanics: 7The most frequent errors throughout the thread were missing commas. I would recommend looking up the usage of commas in conjunctions, transitional and introductory phrases, so as to prevent clumsy-looking run-on sentences. There were also some improperly placed apostrophes (consider the difference between “it’s” and “its”, for example), and a few spelling mistakes. These are probably things you will pick up on with a simple re-read. Even so, such mistakes were fairly infrequent, and on the whole, the thread was well written.


Clarity: 8Understanding what was going on was rarely an issue. Then nature of Yui and Saburo’s relationship was a little unclear at first, though (it was not apparent whether she was being cajoled into accepting due to his status, or perhaps if she truly wanted to marry him). But on the whole, the thread lets the reader know everything they need to, it would seem.


Technique: 5The thread is very well written and polished, but still quite simple. For the most part, it lacks the sort of depth that can afforded by literary devices covered in this section (metaphor, simile, foreshadowing, allusion, layering, etc.).


Wildcard: 7
An enjoyable read, and one that could certainly work even better as one part of a series. I might recommend taking some risks to see how they pay off; you’re an accomplished enough writer to be able to afford to experiment.


Total: 69



Yuichi Inoue receives 1315 experience and 180 gold.

The award of an ability will likely need to await for character level up, as Yuichi already has the maximum number allowed for her level. It might be worth discussing this with the Realm of Greeting staff; such things are mostly done in order to make battle threads fair, and so it might be permissible to use such an ability in another solo until it can be properly awarded. But again, please check with RoG.

[Mordelain]

Experience and gold added.