View Full Version : Espionage and Caviar
[OOC: closed to GO members]
Radasanth slept soundly. Most of the straight streets were silent and not a single window was lit in some blocks. The manors were quiet, each estate locked up tight as the nobles slept on the large beds and expensive sheets. The slums were silent as the people that lived there went to bed and enjoyed dreaming of a life not in poverty. The Silver Pub was wide-awake, as always. Filled with men and women who decided to sit back and have a few drinks after a long day. Not all the streets were empty though as there were very few people that went out for a walk at this hour. Some walked just for the exercise while others did it so they could relax and let their minds wander. Either way, Radasanth was quiet and peaceful as it rested.
In the center of the north side of the capital, Zerith was sitting down on a bench. His sapphire eyes looked around the square, noting that fact he was nearly alone except for the occasional person that walked by. His eyes then shifted their gaze to the collosal statue, the great elven hero, Radasanth. The halberdier didn’t see what made the elf a hero, he never heard the stories about the warrior’s accomplishments. Either way, Zerith though that the elf must have done something great, otherwise why would there be a city named after him? He’d look into the hero’s history another time when he wasn’t supposed to meet some one. Even though the meeting was already a half hour late, he still had to wait just in case the guy did show up.
Sure enough, he did. The familiar form of Clement approached the halberdier and took a seat next to him. “Sorry I’m late,” the half orc apologized. “Just as I’m also sorry that I called you to meet me here at such a late hour. I guess it’d be best of I got right to the point. I have another assignment for you, it’s vital to the Order.”
The Grander’s Order, the organization that Zerith joined the moment he took part in a mission in Alerar. That was the only thing the halberdier had done for the Order until now. Suddenly, he received a request to meet the Grander’s right hand man, Clement. “Another assignment? Wouldn’t it be best to give it to Sarah then, she did lead the last mission.”
“True, after seeing what you guys did back at the stables and what you personally did to Bryce, The Grander did consider approaching Sarah. But I suggested to come to you, I don’t think the Lavinian’s temper will help us. You on the other hand, you can keep your cool and focus on what needs to be done.”
Zerith nodded, “Alright. Well what is this mission?”
“I’m afraid it’s not as simple as the last one. You are to gather information on Baroness Paige Relvest. She’s the one that’s the head of the mining industry and everyone depends on her. We need you and the other people that will accompany you to find out everything she knows, especially things you think will help us.”
“Oh really? Well how the hell am I supposed to do that?” Zerith replied.
Clement smiled, “We’ve learned that she is going to be hosting a masquerade party of some sort. So we think that’s our best chance to go ahead with the mission. You and the others will each arrive at her estate separately and meet up there. How you move from there and get the information is up to your group. I’m even going to go through the trouble of adding a few extra names to the guest list, just to get you in. Of course, that means I’ll need you to come up with an alias and a costume idea. That way, I can tell the other members so they can meet up with you.”
A masquerade? Zerith had never been to an event like that before. He’d have to act like a noble and blend in with the crowd. The mission sounded interesting enough and much more complicated that the one involving the stables. This time he wouldn’t have his weapons and he’d only have an act and his wit to carry him through the evening. It was risky, but the thought of creating an alias and wearing a disguise won him over.
“If I’m to be a noble, then I might as well have a title,” Zerith said as his lips formed a smile. “Lord DelaSangre. I think I like the sound of that.”
“Lord DelaSangre,” Clement repeated. “I take it that’s your way of saying you accept the assignment, but I’ll be sure to add it to the list. I still need a costume idea so I know what kind of mask to get and some clothes that go with it.”
“Yeah, I accept this assignment.” Zerith replied. “As far as costume ideas, I think I’ll do with a green dragon concept. Elegant and basic, rich green robes with a mask of a dragon. That should do.”
The two of them stood up as Clement took a small piece of parchment and wrote down the halberdier’s answers. “Alright then, the party is two days from now. I’ll meet you again tomorrow to make sure the costume fits and let you know the names of the other people that will be working with. If this mission is a success, I’m sure it will be worth your while.”
After saying their farewell, the two men departed and when their separate ways. “Lord DelaSangre,” Zerith though as he made his way back to the inn he was staying at. “I think I’m really going to enjoy being a noble for one evening.”
Jasmine
09-02-06, 01:41 AM
A few weeks ago...
Jasmine sat at in a chair with her knees folded, so her legs were underneath her body, brushing her hair. The long black tresses seemed to shine with an inner glow the more she brushed them. A little bit away from her, Raelyse sat at an ornate desk looking over various pieces of paper. The room the two lovers occupied was ornate. Almost everything that had Raelyse’s hand to it seemed to be ornate and showy.
“Raelyse? What’s been going lately? I hear a lot of different things, but I don’t know what’s true and what’s just idle talk.”
“A little expedition,” the prince replied nonchalantly, his head not lifting from examining something written on a piece of paper.
“Oh,” she answered and put her brush down. She was silent for a moment then looked at him again, “Just at a curiosity, where is the expedition headed?”
“Corone,” this time, a tinge of frustration danced in his words. He still had not looked up from the paper. Jasmine gazed lovingly at him, her eyes traveling over the neatly combed silver hair to his impeccable clothing. She could hear the frustration in his voice and wondered what was causing it. Unfolding her legs, she moved to stand behind him and rested her hands lightly on his shoulders for a few moments before beginning to massage them lightly. “What’s wrong, Love? If I’m bothering you...”
He chuckled slightly and she smiled, relieved. He lifted his head for the first time, turning his neck so he his eyes could have a good look at her. “Of course not, but there is one thing...”
“What? Tell me and I’ll see if I can help.”
Raelyse’s heart skipped a beat when he realized that he had finally found an adequate reason to send Jasmine away for an indefinite amount of time, allowing him to return to his own ‘devices’. “I want you to join Zerith in Corone. I think you know him. Keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn’t ruin the Order’s reputation in any way.”
She paused for a moment. The name was familiar but she quickly dismissed it as coincidence. Zerith Dracosius must be miles from here and she doubted that he was in Corone. She could think of no reason for her friend to be in either place. “How long are we supposed to gone? What are we supposed to do?”
Raelyse stood up slowly, as her hands dropped away from his broad shoulders, reaching for that familiar cane and using it to support his weight as he slowly moved away from his lover. He hobbled over toward another desk in the room. After appearing to rummage for a minute he sighed and looked over at Jasmine, “Zerith has the parchment with all the information on it.”
"Hmmm...well alright. I’ve been itching to be on the road again anyway. I’ll go after this Zerith person for you. When should I leave?”
“Soon...” the prince said, turning his head, unable to wipe the smirk from his lips.
“Well, I suppose I better get ready then,” she moved over to stand in front of him and raised up on her tiptoes for a kiss, “I’ll miss you.”
“I know,” he said slowly, running his right index finger along her lips before moving his hand to her cheek, caressing it gently with his knuckles. She tilted her face into his hand for moment, relishing his gentle touch. She enjoyed his touch and longed for it more often than she cared to admit even to herself.
“I suppose, I should go then...” she said softly , unable to hide the longing in her eyes. Suddenly, she worked up her courage and stretched up a bit more, pressing her lips softly against his. She’d intended only to kiss him lightly then go, but she felt herself melting away as he returned the kiss and his hands caressed gently over her body...
Present...
Jasmine walked quickly down the street, heading for a good, quiet inn. She had arrived late and still had to meet someone, but she wanted to find an inn first and put down her travel bag. It hung over one shoulder of her slim figure, lightweight with only a few toiletries and one change of clothes in it. Her long black hair hung in a single braid down to the middle of her thighs and glistened slightly in the moonlight. Her black leather boots made little sound on the road. She was clothed in her usual outfit of a knee-length, dark blue dress with a silver hem. The dress had no sleeves and scooped low over breasts, revealing just a tiny bit of cleavage and the two silver lockets that hung from the same chain around her neck.
At long last, she found a small inn. It had no tavern and the lounge was empty. There were plenty of rooms available and she took one that was on the second floor overlooking the street. A quick glance over the room revealed a single bed tucked into one corner, and a wash stand by the window. Leaving her bag on the bed, she quickly went to her appointed meeting place.
Raelyse better appreciate me doing this. I doubt this Zerith person of his really needs to be watched, but oh well.
She sighed softly as her mind went back to the Prince of Myrusia. Raelyse had stayed at Erebus and she missed him greatly. True, she had volunteered to make this journey, but she did not have to like leaving him behind. Sighing once more, she tried to push her thoughts of her love away and concentrate on the matter at hand.
She now stood in a small square with a fountain spraying water into the air behind her. This looked like the place where she was supposed to meet the person who would give her a little more information on what exactly she was supposed to be doing here. Soon enough, Clement arrived. Their conversation was short with nothing remarkable about it. She was soon on her way back to her room, wondering what this Zerith, a.k.a Lord DelaSangre, was like.
“There, that doesn’t look too bad. Does it?”
Sapphire eyes stared blankly at the reflection in the mirror. With the masquerade only a day away, Zerith and Clement had agreed to go to see a tailor. While Clement had kept his promise and brought a costume, the visit to the tailor’s was just so they could make the costume fit the halberdier properly. Yet as he looked in the mirror, Zerith was thankful that he took the time to try the costume on. Otherwise he would have made a fool out of himself.
The costume Clement obtained looked cheap, too cheap for a noble. The green was a disgusting pale color, and the mask looked like it was made by a twelve year old. It was also too big for Zerith, the trousers barely hung off his hips. The material didn’t feel nice and fine either, instead thick and well worn. The halberdier couldn’t help but frown at the man that stood in the mirror. A noble? He looked more like a man that stood on the side of the street, completely drunk and begging for money. If Zerith was going to succeed, he couldn’t wear this hand me down costume. Otherwise, he would just make an embarrassment out of the Order.
“I think we’ll need to make some changes,” the halberdier replied. “But right now I’d like to know about the others that I will be working with. You said you would tell me about them, remember?” he said as he turned around to face his companion.
Nodding, Clement answered, “Yeah, I remember. However I’m afraid that things didn’t turn out the way I hoped. So far I’ve only received confirmation that one person will be joining you. I am hoping that will change by tomorrow night though.”
“Just tell me about this one individual in the meantime,” Zerith replied as he held his arms out to allow the tailor to adjust the sleeves.
“Well all I know is that her name is Lady Jasmine,” Clement answered. “That and she has been given the assignment by Grander Raelyse himself. I’m assuming she knows the Grander personally because she’s one of his lovers.”
“Lady Jasmine,” Zerith repeated and simply assumed it was the alias this stranger was using. If things went well he could always ask for her real name after the mission was over. “Wait a minute…what do you mean by ‘one of his lovers’?”
“What? Did I just say that?” Clement said as he realized he had just let that statement slip out of his mouth. “I guess I can't hide it now. But if I tell you this, you can’t let anyone know you heard it from me. Understand?”
The halberdier nodded, “Understood.”
“Good. The thing is, the Grander has a ‘fascination’ with women. He loves them and they love him. Of course what they don’t know is that he likes to have a handful various women within reach all at once. It’s like he’s a painter and his women are the various colors. They’re all on his pallet, yet he only uses one at a time. Of course none of the lovely ladies know that he’s probably cheating on them.”
“'Probably cheating'? That’s just wrong,” Zerith shot back. “He doesn’t treat women as ‘lovers’, they’re just playthings. I’m beginning to feel sorry for this ‘Lady Jasmine’.”
“I guess you can say his lifestyle is questionable. But still, you can’t just go around and tell her what I told you.”
“I know, I’m not going to tell her. In fact, I’m probably just going to try and forget you even told me this little bit of information of the Grander.”
“I like that idea,” Clement answered. “But now we should just focus on the assignment. What do you think of the costume?”
“In all honesty, Clement,” Zerith began. “I think this costume looks and too cheap. I don’t think I could ever make anyone believe I’m a noble if I wear this. I mean look around you,” Zerith said as he gestured to the tailor’s shop. Around the three men various outfits were displayed, some of them looked like they were for peasant’s, while others looked like they were made for traveler’s. However, the halberdier pointed to the clothes that looked like they were designed to be expensive and to show it. “I need a costume that would be worn by someone who wears that kind of clothing.”
“I guess you make a point. But you did say you wanted to costume to look ‘elegant and basic’. That’s exactly what I gave you.” Clement replied.
“Well now there’s a change of plan,” the halberdier answered as he turned back around to look at himself in the mirror. “If I’m going to be a noble, then I might as well do it in style. Make me look like the Grander.”
Jasmine
09-10-06, 02:10 AM
Jasmine stood on a small stool and held her arms out patiently. Her costume was nearing completion and for that she was most grateful. She had forgotten how long you had to stand with your arms straight out to the sides when you were getting a brand new dress fitted to your liking. The dress would touch the floor when she stood on it instead of the stool and was extremely light colored. Though the silk itself was the palest blue she could find in the seamstress’ shop, it looked more like it was white tinged with blue. Normally, she would not wear such a light color, she preferred her blues to be a little darker, but she also realized that her preference for darker colors would be a sign about her identity.
“Are we almost done?”
“Yes, yes. Almost...”
The lady and her two helpers fussed around Jasmine pinning up a bit of material here and letting out a little there until the dress was exactly as she wanted. Jasmine sighed. She’d been standing here for at least two hours and was being reminded of yet another reason why she had chosen to leave the life of a noble behind when she set her brother on the Sapphire Throne of Moriah.
Trying not to look too bored, she gazed around the room again. It hadn’t changed any since she first walked in the previous night, but it was something to do. The only other new thing in the room was a set of fragile wings made of thin white gauze stretched over a wire frame. They were decorated with silver glitter that swirled in a simple design. The wings had two parts to them like a butterfly’s with the top half being more rounded and the bottom half being longer and narrower. When the fitting was done, the wings would be attached to the dress to complete her costume.
A little more than an hour later, the dress was appropriately fitted and the seamstress helped Jasmine out of it. She would bring it back tomorrow with the wings attached and help her “Ladyship” into her dress. Jasmine thanked her and sent her on her way. Normally, she would have needed to go to the seamstress for all of this, but she had expressed a need to remain hidden. She did not want anyone to see her until she was ready for them to. For a price, the seamstress had finally acquiesced and agreed to do the fitting at Jasmine’s room. However, she was certain she would not be able to get a hairdresser to do the same.
That would be for tomorrow though. Right now, all she wanted was to rest up before the busy night. The man who was calling himself Lord DelaSangre was going to be dressed in green robes. She had not heard if there was going to be anyone else yet, but that was unimportant. She had her assignment and she would do it no matter how much she hated being so far from Raelyse.
The next twenty-four hours after the conversation at the tailor’s shop went by rather quickly. Though at first it felt like time passed by slowly. It was probably because of the amount of work the three men suddenly felt fall upon their shoulders. With the costume Clement brought out of the question, the only option now was to make a costume that would fit Zerith from scratch. The tailor was the one affected by his decision the most, the task of making a costume in one night seemed impossible. Yet the halberdier urged the man to take his time and not to rush. So together, the three men stayed up all night working on making the halberdier, a mere soldier of the Order look like a noble that would be invited to a party by a baroness.
For the remainder of the morning and for most of the afternoon, Zerith slept. The night had been exhausting, having to put the costume on and take it off countless times, not to mention having Clement constantly instructing him on how to behave like a noble. How to walk, how to talk and how to hold a glass of wine properly were just a few of thing the halberdier had to learn. Even the realization that he wouldn’t be able to carry any of his weapons with him seemed overwhelming at first. Yet the more he thought about it, the more it seemed logical. He was beginning to have his doubts now, thinking that the idea was ridiculous and there was no way he could succeed. Even as he was about to fall asleep, the last thing Zerith would remember would be hoping that the mission would run smoothly and be a success.
Eventually it was time for the curtain to rise and for the halberdier to step into the role of a noble. Earlier that evening, Zerith went back to the tailor’s shop to pick up the costume and put it on. While the halberdier was getting changed in one of the dressing rooms, Clement arrived. At first, when he looked around for any sign of the halberdier until eventually he just gave up and called out, “Zerith?”
“Give me a minute,” the familiar voice of the halberdier called out. “I’m almost done.”
“Good,” the halfling replied. “Once you’re ready we can get going. I think the first few guests will be arriving right now.”
“Sounds good, I guess that means we’re right on schedule,” Zerith answered as he unlocked the small door and stepped out of the tiny room. Clement’s eyes widened as he saw the finished product of all their hard work. The halberdier looked perfect, the rich forest green color of the robes he wore looked lovely. The outfit was made specifically to be expensive and show it, with precious metals and gems worked into both the clothing and the mask. As for his hair, Zerith ultimately decided to work with his curls instead of wasting his time trying to make his hair look straight. It worked well this way, making him look rather handsome. Behind him and still in the dressing room rested all of Zerith’s weapons and armor. “Alright, now that I feel like a complete fool for wearing this, can we go now?”
“Uh, yeah,” Clement answered. “Our ride is waiting outside, but I have to say you look really good. You’ll fit in perfectly.”
“Thanks, but let’s just get going. I don’t want to be late for a party I wasn’t officially invited to in the first place.” Zerith said as the two of them left the shop and headed outside.
When he stepped out of the store, Zerith was surprised to see what had been waiting for him this entire time. Right in front of him stood a fancy black carriage decorated with elaborate designs that clearly expressed the vast amounts of wealth was spent to make it look so beautiful. The wheels were painted silver, though if they were white gold instead, it wouldn’t have surprised the halberdier at all. The driver wore fine clothing and held onto the reins of not one, but two black horses that seemed to have been pampered for most of their lives. Behind him, Clement smiled brightly as he spoke, “Consider this a gift from the Grander. The way he sees it, you needed help to play the part of a noble. So this is to help you keep the appearance of one.”
For whatever reason, Zerith couldn’t think of anything to say in response. Instead, he climbed into the carriage and took a seat the moment the driver opened the door for him. Clement followed and sat down across from him before the driver climbed back up to his seat and with a quick snap with the reins, the carriage began traveling through Radasanth.
“Alright then, before we get there I guess I should tell you a little about who you’re going to be working with,” Clement said. “First off, it seems like you’re only going to be working with that one woman I mentioned earlier. Do you remember her?”
Nodding, the fake noble replied, “Of course. How could I forget the Grander’s plaything?”
“Just remember you promised me you wouldn’t tell anyone I told you that, even here. Anyways, I believe she’s still going to be calling herself Jasmine. As for what she’ll be wearing, I am sure it’s some sort of fairy costume. Hopefully you two will meet up during this event and then decide your course of action from there. Just try to keep the appearance of a noble. Alright, Zerith? It won’t hurt to you enjoy some of the food there or talk and dance with some of the other guests.”
“Alright, I’ll make sure to do my best tonight. This is going to be a piece of cake.”
“One more thing,” Clement said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. “I realize that this might be a real challenge for you, taking away use of your weapons and making you do something you’re not really used to. So I decided to pick something up for you, consider it a ‘thank you’ gift. I was planning on giving it to you after tonight was over, but I thought that it would help you look like a real noble.” With nothing more to say, he simply handed the container to Zerith who looked at Clement once before opening the box.
In it was a single ring. A signet ring made of white gold with a fancy D for an insignia. The design itself was carved in reverse, most likely to make it better for sealing. Taking the ring out of the box, Zerith quickly slipped it onto the ring finger on his right hand before looking up at Clement again. “Thank you,” he replied. “I think it’ll greatly help me keep the appearance of a noble.”
Just then the carriage stopped and immediately Clement got the idea. “This is your stop, just enjoy yourself, and pretend you're rich. Dance with a couple women if you want to, and don’t forget to put on the mask before you leave this carriage alright? I’ll meet up with you again tomorrow to discuss what you discover tonight. Now get out there and make the Order proud.”
Nodding, Zerith looked down at the green mask in his hands and put it on. It did a good job of cover the top half of his face, and did an excellent job of looking like a dragon. The tiny metals and gems looked like that were all part of the dragon’s scales. The solid emerald green color was spread throughout the entire mask, except for the two bits of sapphire that rested where the eyeholes were. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” were the last words that left the lips of the most recent guest of the baroness before he stepped out of the carriage and headed straight for the Baroness’ manor. He was stopped only once before being permitted to join the rest of the guests. Lord DelaSangre had finally arrived.
Jasmine
09-17-06, 02:46 AM
Jasmine stood in her room at the inn and looked over her image in the standing mirror, making sure that every detail was perfect. Her hair cascaded gracefully down her back with a multitude of braids arranged in loops and coils artfully draped over it. With her hair being nearly to her knees, the braiding had taken nearly three hours, but as she looked over the result in the mirror, she thought it was well worth the time spent sitting absolutely still while two young girls a little younger than herself braided her hair. Woven into many of the braids and part of the rest of her hair, were several strands of tiny, white seed pearls. She wore a small tiara studded with diamonds and sapphires atop her head to complete the hair design.
Her gown was as elegant as her hair. Made of the silk the seamstress had, the gown fit the former princess like a glove. The bodice was snug, but not so snug as to squeeze the breath out of her. It was cut low, but only enough to reveal a small amount of cleavage. Masterfully embroidered silver snowflakes bordered the neckline. The skirts spread out around her, leaving a small train to drag on the floor. Its ends were scalloped and embroidered with silvery thread in a snowflake pattern. The sleeves were snug to her elbows, at which point they flared gradually, leaving her forearms quite free to move as she wished. The color was much lighter than she normally would have worn, but she did not want to be too obvious about who she really was. The silk was so light a blue, it almost seemed like the gown was white tinged with blue.
Over each shoulder she could see the fairy wings she’d had made. White gauze was stretched over a simple wire frame and decorated with silver glitter in artful swirls. A few white ribbons trailed down her back from where the wings attached to her dress.
On the bedside table lay a mask on a long stick. She had never liked carrying masks, but she had accepted the mask anyway. It would only come down to her nose and was painted to match her dress. Silver glitter outlined snowflakes and the very edge of the mask. She had insisted that if she was going to have to carry one, it would have to be as simple as possible. Despite having a mask though, she’d had her face done up with makeup. Her cheeks had a small amount of rouge on them, but her eyes were the best part. Silver and white powders colored her eyelids and a black mascara had been used to fill out her eyelashes. Silver glitter swirled off her eyebrows and into an artful design along the sides of her face. All in all, she thought it was a perfect design and with her face fixed up as well, she could conveniently “forget” her mask.
Outside her room, a young boy hurried up the stairs and knocked politely on her door before talking through it, “Lady Jasmine? Your carriage is outside.”
Jasmine turned and opened the door, smiling warmly at the boy. “Thank you. Would you tell them I’m on my way down?”
The boy stared in open wonder at the beautiful woman standing before him, then awkwardly bobbed a bow and raced down the stairs to do as he was bidden. Jasmine followed at more stately pace and picked up her mask from the bedside table. The common room was only partially full but all talk stopped as the Lady Jasmine entered the room, the hem of her dress held up so as not to get it dirty as she crossed the floor. As she was leaving, she heard the talk start up again in whispers and could not help but smile.
The carriage she had arranged for was all black with no insignia on its doors. However, its condition bespoke of wealth and that was all she had required. The footman helped her into the carriage then took his place at the back of the carriage. She sat carefully on the seat so as to crush the wings or wrinkle her dress. It would not do to mess up either part of her costume in favor of comfort.
A short time later, the carriage came to a stop and the door opened. A long line of carriages ran out behind her, each awaiting their turn at the front steps to unload the variety of nobility each carried. As the footman helped her out of the carriage, Jasmine looked up at the grand mansion and put on a smile. She gave her name at the door and then proceeded. Once inside, she allowed the hem and train of her gown to fall from her fingers. She looked around briefly and noted that the Lord DelaSangre had arrived already, but she did not go directly to him. She paused briefly at the top of the stairs for the announcer to do his job, then descended the grand staircase leading to the main floor at graceful, stately pace. Lady Jasmine Kamasha of Moriah had finally arrived.
The main hall of the mansion was a lot like the grand lobby the halberdier expected. The large room was quickly filling up with guests, making it appear that every noble in Radasanth was invited to the event. Music filled the hall. The soft melody that was currently playing tried to pull people into the middle of the room to dance. Quite a number of people were already in the middle of the room dancing, though chances were they were all couples that arrived together. Those who chose not to dance, stood or took a seat in the main hall or in one of the adjacent rooms. Yet every single person was part of a pair or a group of people. Most probably talked about how life was blessing them, while others were most likely discussing the baroness and how they felt about this party she was hosting.
Zerith wasn’t alone either, a young woman seemed to have taken interest in his costume and proceeded to try to start a conversation with the halberdier. However, she was currently lost in talking about herself and how well her family was doing while Zerith was struggling to keep up with her. Nodding his head to acknowledge the fact that he was listening, he reached out and retrieved a glass of wine from a platter a dressed-up servant was carrying through the hall. Taking a sip from his drink, the halberdier continued in giving Lady Catherine his full attention.
The costume the fake noble wore seemed to have an effect on him, making him feel powerful. It wasn’t like the feeling of defeating an army or a tough adversary. Instead, he felt like the world was laid out before him on a silver platter and he could take anything he wanted. He felt like that if he wanted to, he could probably take any woman, including Lady Catherine, to bed with him. All it needed was a little charm and some playing with words, perhaps even an expensive gift or two to seal the deal. Perhaps being a noble and being rich had its benefits afterall.
The halberdier’s attention was suddenly distracted with the announcement that another guest had arrived. Yet when then he heard the announcer say ‘Lady Jasmine Kamasha of Moriah,’ the newest guest immeditately caught his attention. The mention of Jasmine captured his interest and made him wonder if this was the woman he was assigned to work with. Yet when the name of Moriah followed her name, Zerith grew curious. His mind went back to the brief time he spent in Moriah, helping his dear friend Jasmine defend her home from an army of soldiers lead by one of the most unlikely people. Eventually, his mind drifted to wondering if there was any possibility that the lovely vision of beauty that descended the grand staircase could really be his princess. Was it possible? Not really. She was probably still in Moriah helping out Eric. It was probably just a coincidence. He was most likely working with another new member of the Order. That was the logical answer.
Regardless of who she was, the lady that gracefully came down the grand staircase was beautiful. The elegant dress fit her well, nice and snug. Her hair laid neatly down her back, the braids an expression of hard work and much effort. She held the mask she carried and covered her face with it, while the wings on her back made the fairy costume seem complete. The train of her dress followed her as she joined the rest of the guests. Yet by the time her feet touched the floor, she had caught Zerith’s full attention. The halberdier turned to face Lady Catherine only once more and thanked her for the conversation that said and that he hoped they would talk later. As soon he finished his sentence, he left in a hurry. With Catherine taken care of, Lord DelaSangre was free to approach Lady Jasmine, completely unaware that he knew this woman a lot more than he originally thought.
Jasmine
12-05-06, 02:47 AM
Jasmine nodded cordially, murmuring greeting after greeting as she moved through the crowded ballroom. She had not wanted to bring the mask, but now she was quite glad that she did. It allowed her to hide the searching look in her eyes as she sought out this Lord DelaSangre she was supposed to meet and talk with. She had been informed that he would be dressed as a green dragon, and thus gave only the tiniest attention to those gentlemen who were not wearing such a costume.
Despite her efforts to not get caught up by a rich, young fool, she had a follower almost as soon as her feet cleared the staircase. His name was Robert, he was somewhere in his 20s, and was of course quite rich. Jasmine nodded on occasion, pretending to listen to every word he’d said. Once, several years ago now, when she had welcomed the life of the noble, she could have told you everything he’d said, but she had long since fallen out of practice. None of his words held any interest for her and when she declined his offer to dance, he excused himself in a barely concealed huff. Safe behind the mask, she rolled her eyes and wished that Raelyse was there to dance with her.
After a few more minutes of searching, fortunately without any other young lordling trying to speak to her, she at last found who she hoped was the person she was looking for. Smiling a cordial smile, she made her way through the crowd to the man in flowing green robes with a mask that sparkled in the light. She spread her skirts slightly with one hand and inclined her head somewhat in greeting.
“Good evening. Lord DelaSangre, I presume?”
If anyone wrote down a book about how to act like a noble, Zerith followed it almost flawlessly. His manners and attitude were both in the right places and if you didn’t know him, you would think that even he was rich. His greeting to Lady Jasmine was even by the book. As he bowed before her, he took her free hand in his and placed a gentle kiss on the back of her palm. “Lady Jasmine,” the words left his lips in a whisper. “It’s no surprise you're from Moriah, your eyes sparkle like the Sapphire Throne itself. I am Lord DelaSangre.”
“I’ve been to Moriah before,” he continued. “The last time I went there it was on business. Unfortunately, something happened early during the day my ship was to leave. An army of black-armored soldiers suddenly attacked and seized Hamasha in a matter of hours. I was forced to flee to Nadai with the many other people that were lucky enough to survive the attack. I don’t know the exact details about how it happened, but somehow the Morian army managed to regroup in time to defend Nadai and retake Hamasha. When things finally settled, it felt like weeks passed before I was able to get on another ship and return home.”
The story was really only half true. While an army really did attack Moriah the last time he was there, Zerith’s role during the ordeal was much different. Instead of fleeing for his life, he risked it to charge into battle with the Morian army completely behind him. Still, for all he knew, Moriah was the only thing he had in common with this stunning woman. That and they both served in the GO with him being a soldier and her being some sort of concubine of the Grander’s.
Everything the two of them were doing was for the glory of the Grander’s Order. What did the GO do for them recently? There were no reports given to its followers, not even any evidence that it was still active. As far as the halberdier was concerned the closest thing the GO had in terms of a leader was Clement as he had yet to see this so-called Grander. Yet there he was again, risking his life again for a man he never met and an organization that seemed to be going nowhere. For the first time since joining, Zerith grew angry at both the Grander and his order. For all of his work he received no thanks or rewards. In fact, the only thing the halberdier had received up until now was that ring Clement had given him earlier, but that was simply because Clement saw fit to give him a gift for what he would be doing for him.
Did the woman before him feel the same way? She probably didn’t even realize that she was nothing more than a body for the Grander’s pleasure, a toy that had its place on a shelf with the numerous others. What would happen if she discovered the truth, that she was being fooled by the Grander? Now that would have to deal some sort of blow to the leader of the GO. It would be an ideal way to repay him for everything both Zerith and Lady Jasmine put themselves through. Yet before that could happen, the halberdier had to get his companion to trust and to open up to him. If he could do that, then she was more likely to believe him when he removed the veil from her eyes and she saw the truth for herself.
Just then, something caught his attention to his left. It was Catherine, the woman was approaching him again with a look of displeasure clearly stretched across her face. His initial instinct was to look way in the opposite direction. Though when he did, his eyes fixed onto the form of Robert, the man who had talked to Jasmine just before Zerith did. It wasn’t a big surprise that he showed the same expression Catherine did. Nobles probably didn’t handle rejection well, but Zerith knew he had to do something quickly. Otherwise both he and Jasmine would have to deal with two angry, spoiled, rich young adults.
Quickly grabbing hold of Jasmine's hands, he firmly gave it a tug towards the ballroom floor. “Forgive me,” he said smiling as his sapphire eyes stared into hers. “I’m afraid I need to at least share one dance with you. Otherwise I’m not so sure that our encounter isn’t just a dream.”
“Smooth Zerith, real smooth.”
Jasmine
12-27-06, 04:23 PM
Jasmine smiled gratefully and let him lead her onto the dance floor, resting her free hand on his shoulder as they began to dance. Though she knew that she was supposed to be working, she couldn’t help but try to figure out who Lord DelaSangre really was. Raelyse had said his name was Zerith, but she was still not sure it could be her friend. She laughed softly at his comment about dreaming as she met his gaze.
“I assure you, it is not a dream, my Lord. I do remember that horrid army. It is a good thing my cousin and her friend were there to help. She and I have the same first name, though I don’t understand why our parents did that. It doesn’t help that we look like twins either. Ah well, all is well in Moriah now and my brother, King Eric, has already managed to rebuild most of what was destroyed.”
If this Zerith she'd been told was here, was in fact her friend, then he would hopefully understand the clue to her true identity she'd just given him. She kept her gaze only partially on his face as they moved smoothly across the floor. She kept an eye out for the Lady of the house. Why this Lady was so important to Raelyse’s ambitions, she wasn’t sure. However, so long as no one would come to harm, she did not mind helping him achieve said ambitions.
“You are a most wonderful dancer, my Lord. Do you dance often, or just at balls such as this?"
Trying to keep the subject light and unimportant, she smiled warmly. They could talk about their mission later, right now, she only wanted to enjoy herself for a little while.
“Odd,” Zerith thought. “Jasmine never mentioned she had a cousin. However, she did say she was taken in by her uncle when she was a child. But he's dead…”
“…and died childless!”
The truth suddenly hit him as if he had just run straight into a wall. Jasmine Kamasha didn’t exist; she was only a fictional character that was just as made up as Lord DelaSangre. The circumstances suddenly became interesting, he was dancing with Jasmine Matrino, his mage. Likewise, she was dancing with her warder. She probably just didn’t know it yet. The princess and her warder dancing at a masquerade ball, it sounded like some sort of children’s fairy tale.
Yet if he was right and she really was the Jasmine he knew, it only added more conflict to his life. It meant that the Jasmine he knew and loved, the compassionate princess he stood beside and risked his life to help, was being lead around by the Grander. He had her sitting in the palm of his hand, believing every word that came out of his mouth and falling for every fake kiss and caress he gave her. The thought of it made Zerith’s blood boil, making the fake noble wish he was in Erebus so that he could teach the Grander a lesson. Perhaps something that involved removing something that would cut down Raelyse’s fun considerably, or more like indefinitely.
“What am I going to do now?” the halberdier thought. The reality that Jasmine was with the Grander hurt him considerably. Yet he began to fear what would happen to the princess if he told her the truth about her prince charming. Would she try to leave the Grander? What would he do to prevent it? Would he hurt her? All those questions raced through Zerith’s mind and caused him to lose his concentration. Luckily, he was quickly brought back into reality when Jasmine asked him another question.
“You are a most wonderful dancer, my Lord. Do you dance often, or just as balls such as this?” she asked.
***
Two people are standing in the middle of one room, only the light from the fireplace keeps the two from behind hidden in the darkness. The two people are held tightly in each others arms, dancing so gracefully that it seems like they are just floating. The couple look at each other for a moment, losing all grasp on reality as they gaze into each other’s eyes. Quietly, a young boy creeps down the stairs, doing his best to avoid the creaking floorboards. He looks at his parents and tilts his head slightly, contemplating if he should just sneak back upstairs and not disturb the two lovers.
Suddenly the father turns his head and looks at his son. The boy freezes and braces himself for hearing his father yell. Instead the father smiles, “Why don’t you come over here. It’s probably about time you learn how to dance.”
Still standing still, the boy shakes his head.
“Come on Zerith,” the father replies. “You’re not going to be in any trouble. I just want you to come here so you can get your first dancing lesson.”
“I don’t think I can,” the son answers. “It looks complicated, I don’t think I can do something like that.”
“You can Zerith,” the father says. “You’re mother is an excellent dancer. I’m sure through the two us, we can make you into an excellent dancer as well. You never know, one day you might meet a beautiful girl. I’m sure she’ll be surprised to see what an incredible dancer you will be.”
The boy hesitates for a moment, until he eventually gives in and joins his parents. His mother takes his hand in hers and his father explains to him how to stand. Soon the son and his mother dance slowly while the father watches, laughing every time the son misses a step.
***
“Growing up as a child, I danced all the time with my mother. Both her and my father taught me how to dance. He always said I should learn just in case I met a beautiful woman. If I had only known how right that statement would be, I probably would have practiced more. Especially considering the fact that I’m dancing with a princess at this moment.” Zerith answered.
“If that bastard Raelyse thinks he can woo my Jasmine into his hands. Then I wonder how he’ll react when someone wooes her out of them?”
Jasmine
01-13-07, 09:12 PM
The black-haired beauty smiled softly as they drifted across the floor. She paid scant attention to the dancers around them as she kept her eyes trained on the ones of matching hue in front of her.
“I must say they taught you quite well. What was your involvement in that short war in Moriah a few months ago? I didn’t quite understand when you first mentioned it.”
As they moved, the light made her gown sparkle, eliciting many jealous looks from the other ladies. She moved gracefully, all the countless hours of practice coming back to her as she danced with this man of the Grander’s Order. For a brief moment, she wondered if dancing with another man would make Raelyse jealous, but brushed the errant thought away quickly. He had sent her on this mission and thus would have to deal with however she chose to carry it out.
She loved Prince Raelyse like no other, though sometimes, she wondered just how much he truly returned the feeling. He had never told her why or where he disappeared to the night after they met and every time she brought it up, he changed the subject or kissed her, making her forget all about what she’d been asking. She shook her head slightly, trying to make the thoughts go away. She was here in Radasanth at a ball, dancing, and was supposed to be enjoying herself at least a little bit.
Before she realized it, the song ended and they made their way off the dance floor. They would need to talk business eventually, but first she hoped to figure out if this “Lord DelaSangre” was who she thought he was. The only foreigners that helped in that brief war were her friend Zerith and a mysterious necromancer called Lisean. She had seen neither in some time.
She never gave up, did she? Why didn’t she seem to be satisfied with the explanation he gave her, did she think he was lying? Whatever the case was, Zerith certainly felt like Jasmine didn’t trust the young noble she was dancing with. Perhaps she just needed to hear it explained before she could really believe the false testimony
“As I said before, I wasn’t involved in the war. If anything, you could say I was a victim of it for a brief time, being unable to leave the conflict and return to my home. I did have the pleasure of meeting a halberdier during my brief stay in Nadai. I heard he helped reclaim Hamasha shortly afterwards.” He said. Hopefully Jasmine would not dwell on trying to figure out who DelaSangre was anymore. Instead he hoped her thoughts would either drift back to her homeland, or to her warder. Either way, Zerith was safe if she didn’t wonder who the man behind the mask was. Though he couldn’t help but wonder just how much Zerith Dracosius really was in her thoughts.
“So I heard that you’re the lucky lady that is currently with the Grander”, Zerith said as they left the dance floor.
“Ha! ‘Lucky’ is definitely the wrong word to use. I should tell her the truth,” the voice in his head replied. The halberdier shook his head a little, as if he was trying to shake his conscience out of his head. He made a quick recovery, smiling at the princess to reassure her everything was fine. “I bet life is interesting and never dull. Especially considering the busy life he must have, managing the GO and all.”
“More like managing a handful of lovers all without them knowing about each other,” he told himself.
Suddenly the halberdier began to wonder if he would be able to keep his promises to Clement. He had given his word, saying that he wouldn’t tell Jasmine what the half-troll told him. However, as he danced with her and as she smiled at him. He wasn’t too sure if he’d be able to make it through the night and keep the promise. Back in Moriah he fell in love with her. And even at that moment he still loved her, much more than he probably should. The fact that Raelyse was being unfaithful to her infuriated Zerith. If he had his way, he’d make sure Jasmine was with someone that really loved her and treated her right.
To tell the truth or to keep his promise to Clement? That was the question that was currently racing through Zerith’s mind.
Jasmine
03-25-07, 03:39 AM
Jasmine blushed softly, “I don’t know that lucky is the word, but you are correct. He asked me to come here, but I’m not certain exactly what it is he wanted me to do. I’m sure his agents don’t need my help to do their job. Speaking of which, my lord, we should draw a little further aside. We have business to attend to, and the night moves on without us.”
Smiling a mysterious little smile, she led the way further from the crowds, to the veranda outside. The closest person stood a solid ten feet away from them in any direction, which satisfied the princess well enough. So long as they did not talk loudly, no one could overhear them.
Moonlight glinted on her ebony hair and lit up her dress beautifully. She wanted to talk about how they were going to accomplish their mission, but first there was something nagging at her. Letting her mask fall away from her face, she turned to face the green-clad Lord DelaSangre.
“So tell me, my lord, before we discuss our purpose here, how did you know I am ‘with’ the Grander? I did not think it was common knowledge as of yet.”
“Actually, you’re right. It isn’t common knowledge as of yet,” the halberdier replied. “Clement told me about it when I asked him about who I would be working with. I find he tells me a lot of things, even things I shouldn’t know."
“I see...” She fell silent for a moment, then looked back up at him, curiosity in her sapphire eyes, “so, what else does Clement tell you?”
The pretend lord bit his lip, what was he going to do now? He had fallen into a hole that he couldn’t get out of unless he broke his promise to Clement. Yet, he didn’t want Jasmine to be hurt by this fake relationship of hers. He was her warder, her protector. Did his job also include keeping her heart from being broken? He thought it did. Taking a deep breath, Zerith answered, “I’m not going to lie to you, the Grander, Raelyse, is cheating on you.”
Jasmine stared at him, dumfounded, then narrowed her eyes accusingly, “You’re lying. Raelyse loves me, he wouldn’t cheat!”
“Really? And just what reason would I have to want to lie to you?”
“I..I don’t know! But it’s not true. It can’t be,” she turned away, hugging her arms around herself. “He loves me.”
“Given the fact that Clement is probably the closest person to Raelyse, I would say he’s right. Besides, from the stories I’ve heard about the Grander, I wouldn’t say he loves you,” he responded before he stepped around Jasmine so he was facing her and gestured to her body, “He loves this.”
“You’re wrong! Maybe he used to be like that, but he isn’t anymore. I’m going back to Erebus, tonight if I can manage it. You can handle this mission yourself; I was only supposed to watch to be sure you didn’t mess anything up anyway.” She turned away from him again, heading for the stairs that would lead down to the gardens.
“Don’t you dare!” Zerith shouted as he ran forward and grabbed her arm, “We’re in this together now and just because the truth isn’t kind to you, doesn’t mean you can treat me the same way.”
“Let go of me!” she shouted back, yanking her arm away. “I only offered my help to Raelyse because he seemed worried and I didn’t like seeing him so worried over something. I don’t even know you, Lord DelaSangre, why should it matter? You weren’t very kind yourself, telling me such lies.”
“Oh that’s real smart of you, princess!” Zerith snapped back in a sarcastic tone. “I’m sure your dear Raelyse is busy relaxing and enjoying the company of some busty maid right now. I was crazy to think that perhaps MY word would be valued and trusted. I think I would have earned that much.”
“Just...just leave me alone!” she said angrily, turning away again. “Why should I stay? If you’re right, why should I bother completing a mission for someone that doesn’t love me? I’m not getting paid for this, you know. I volunteered to come all on my own.”
“You want a reason to stay? Well, how about this?” the halberdier asked as he took off his mask. “I need you to stay, Jasmine. I can’t do this without you.”
She stared, speechless for a moment, “Zerith? It is you! I thought it might be, but I wasn’t sure. Still, you don’t really need me. What can I possibly do anyway? As I’ve said before, I was only supposed to watch.”
He laughed a little, “I need your experience. Out of the two of us, you’re the noble. I’m standing here tonight trusting a few quick lessons and tryin to imagine what the Grander would do. Though now that I know of the kind of person he is, I don’t want to be like that anymore. I need you to help me get this done. You’re the only one here that can. Please, help me.”
Jasmine sighed, finally starting to calm down again, “I don’t even know what you’re supposed to be doing here, really. Clement told me a little, but I’m still not sure.”
“It’s simple, all we’re supposed to do is find some information regarding the Baroness. It doesn’t really matter what we find as long as it can be considered useful to the GO.”
“I don’t know. I don’t really want to be here anymore.”
Of course she didn’t. She just found out that the man she loved didn’t love her at all. Zerith couldn’t really blame her for not wanting to be here anymore, “How about you look at it this way,” he asked as he placed his mask back on his face, “For one night, forget about the Grander. You were enjoying yourself with a mystery man until now. You can just go back to that.”
“I still would be if that ‘mystery man’ hadn’t decided he had to share gossip,” she shot at him, a few vestiges of anger still in her voice.
“Perhaps, but he also promised to protect you. It’s not his fault he believes that also includes your heart,” he replied quickly, almost naturally.
Jasmine had no answer for that and pretended not to have heard it. “I don’t know that I can go back to enjoying myself as I was a little while ago. Just leave me alone for now, okay? Please?”
“That’s fine,” Zerith replied. “Why don’t we just get to work then? You go behind the scenes by any means and see if you can find any information we can use. While you do that, I’ll keep the Baroness occupied until I see you return. Is that okay?”
Jasmine tried to give him a small smile, “Yes, I suppose that will work. I’ll have you know you owe me for this though.” Raising her mask back up to cover her face, she swept back out into the ballroom. She still did not want to be there, but she couldn’t very well just leave. Judging from the fact that no one had come running at their shouting, no one had heard them.
As she made her way through, she kept an eye out. She knew the type of people she needed to talk to. Young men would only be interested in trying to impress her. However, older men would be more likely to content themselves with talking about more than how many enemies they took on at one time. The other group she could talk to would be women, with all their gossip, but Jasmine did not hold much trust in gossip. Thus, it was the older men that she gravitated to, expressing interests in how the Baroness could manage all that she did and a social life as well.
((OOC: convo worked out between myself and Zerith via MSN. Also, any and all bunnying before, in and after this post is approved by the participants.))
As Jasmine appeared to leave him in a hurry, the halberdier clutched onto his chest tightly. He felt like the air in his lungs was being taken away from him, and that something sharp was stabbing him in the chest. Turning around so his back was to the ballroom, he leaned over and tried to control his breathing. What was this pain, this feeling like someone was stabbing him in his chest and squeezing the air right out of him? He had never felt anything like this before and it scared him. Time dragged on and soon Zerith could feel his heart begin to race. Yet strangely enough, just when he felt like he couldn’t bear the pain any longer. It suddenly disappeared without a trace.
Even though he was unaware he suffered a sudden anxiety attack, the halberdier felt miserable. In his mind he knew he did the right thing by telling Jasmine the truth. Yet after seeing how upset and angry she became, he felt terrible. Why couldn’t Jasmine's relationship with the Grander come to a simple ending at that very moment? She could have just decided to end it when she returned to Erebus and then pack up her things and leave. Instead she wanted to just run back to her Grander and be held tightly in his arms, perhaps even show mercy to his behavior. The bastard was lucky she was gracious enough to do that. Zerith knew Jasmine’s love was a gift Raelyse didn’t deserve.
“I don’t owe you anything Jasmine,” he growled as he placed his green mask back on. “I not only helped defend your home, but now I even stuck my neck out by telling you that you’re being taken advantage of.” He stormed back into the ballroom, not even bothering to look for his mage. She wanted space and he’d give her plenty of it. Besides, Jasmine wasn’t the one he was looking for, Paige Relvest was.
It didn’t take long for him to find the Baroness. The tall beauty was dressed in a red dress that ended just above her knees. Her costume even came with a matching pair of horns and a tail, making it clear she was supposed to be some sort of devil or temptress. Her straight blonde hair came to her shoulders and the small red mask she wore couldn’t hide the dark green eyes she had. Her figure was incredible, making most men realize the Baron must have been a lucky man to convince a woman like that to marry him. Yet the Baron wasn’t anywhere in sight, allowing most of the men there to stick their heads out and try to approach their hostess.
Although she was currently in the middle of a conversation with another man about Zerith’s age, the halberdier crossed the floor with confidence and didn’t care to wait for a suitable time before interrupting. “Excuse me,” he said with a charming smile and not even bothering to acknowledge the man the baroness was talking to. “I couldn’t help but notice the fact that I had yet to thank you for the invitation, and compliment my stunning hostess on how radiant she is tonight.”
A look of surprise first covered the face of the Baroness, yet that gradually changed into a smile as she looked over Zerith’s form. “Why thank you, yet I’m afraid I can’t recall your name sir.”
“DelaSangre,” the fake noble replied as he took the woman’s hand and kissed her knuckles. “Victor DelaSangre. You invited both my father Lukas and I to this event. Yet I regret to say he was feeling rather ill today.”
“Well I’m sorry to hear that and hope he makes a speedy recovery. Although I do hope you’re enjoying yourself tonight, are you?”
“I was,” Zerith replied. “Until I realized I haven’t had the opportunity to be blessed by you with a dance,” he said as he gestured to where he had danced with Jasmine earlier. “Although I am young, I’ve been told that my dancing rivals the skill of those that have been doing it for years. I also realize I may be coming off as a little forward, asking you for a dance without your husband’s approval. But I would love it if you would take a walk on the wild side with me.”
Sure enough Paige responded just the way Zerith predicted. She smiled wickedly, excused herself from the poor man she was talking to and calmly walked with Lord DelaSangre to the dance floor. So while Jasmine was off occupying herself between the assignment and trying to accept what her warder told her, Zerith was dancing with the devil. At least until he saw that Jasmine was ready to meet up again. When that occurred, the halberdier would gracefully bow out and rejoin his princess. Though where they would go from there was anyone’s guess.
Jasmine
04-15-07, 12:32 AM
Once back in the main ballroom, Jasmine made a concentrated effort to forget her conversation with her warder. Finding that she had known this Zerith person Raelyse had mentioned made this trip a little easier in that there was someone here she actually knew. However, it also made the news he’d given her more difficult to digest. She knew in her heart of hearts that Zerith would not lie to her about such a thing, but she was also certain that Raelyse loved her. Confused by it all, she opted for the time being to assume that Zerith’s information was wrong and to forget about it.
Finding older gentlemen and ladies that were not as intrigued by endless dancing as the younger folk, she soon found out a good bit of information about the Baroness. Most of it she thought was likely useless to Raelyse, for instance, that she was known to throw “secret” parties in which nothing was taboo and clothing at these parties were completely optional, was not something that Jasmine believed could be useful to anyone other than those that would attend such things. However, there was other information, gleaned from the businessmen she had spoken to, that indicated she was a very shrewd businesswoman, if a little loose with her personal morals.
Believing she had retrieved as much information as she was going to be able to get, she began moving around the dance floor again, trying to find Zerith. All she wanted to do now, was return to her room at the inn. Tomorrow, she had every intention of returning to Erebus. Searching tiredly, she finally found him, and started making her way toward him, politely declining all offers of dance and conversation as she did.
As she neared him, she saw that his dance partner was the Baroness herself and turned to go back the other way. She did not want to interrupt him especially if he was on a roll with getting information about her. Besides, she didn’t really want to face him again so soon if she did not have to. As she turned, the song ended and the musicians took a brief break to get something to drink.
For the warder, this night was almost like a dream. There he was, a normal man in the midst of a large room of nobles. Enjoying the same expensive desserts they were, drinking the same wine they were. Although he wasn’t nearly as wealthy as most of the other guests were, he dressed just like them. His costume looked just as expensive as anyone else’s, his mask just as marvelous. He felt like a king, like a man who had the world at his feet and could have everything he set his eyes on. Even as his body moved gracefully across the floor he felt like he should have pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. Out of all the men in the room, the simple halberdier was not only dancing with the Baroness, but he was the one leading her as well.
As the two danced the Baroness seemed to grow bolder and bolder. Her eyes captured his image and began to envision all the possible ways their bodies could entwine in a private place. Her right hand began to play with the curls of his hair and rub the back of his neck enticingly. As she spoke a smile formed on her lips. “I have to say Victor, you weren’t lying when you spoke of your dancing ability.”
Smiling back, the fake noble replied, “I’m pleased to hear that. I just hope your husband doesn’t get upset by my actions.”
“I don’t care how he feels about that,” Paige answered coldly. “He spends too much time away for him to have any say in what I can or cannot do. Just as he has no say in my decisions regarding the mining industry in this country.”
“Really?” Zerith replied. This bit of news was quite interesting. “But if he doesn’t have anything to do with the mining, who would look after the industry should anything happen to you?”
“I would assume it would go to whatever noble I thought could handle it. I have yet to meet a man who I can trust with such a responsibility. Besides, I do not intend to relinquish my duties to someone else at this moment. Just as much as I have no intention on spending another night alone while my husband is away.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Oh come on now Victor, you know exactly what I mean,” the Baroness responded. Bringing her lips to Zerith’s ear, she whispered in a seductive voice, “Come to bed with me tonight. I’ll give you everything my husband is missing out on, and I mean everything.”
The way she spoke and the way she pressed her body against his when she emphasized ‘everything’ stunned the halberdier. He couldn’t believe that this was happening, that the Baroness wanted to sleep with him behind her husband’s back. Not only was it a perfect way to just ask for a heap of trouble, but it was a crazy idea too. The feeling of her breasts against his chest and his hand on her back didn’t help either. It was so tempting that if he didn’t come up with an excuse not to, he was afraid he would soon run off and tell Jasmine to go on without him.
Jasmine, that was who the halberdier really desired. Ever since the time the two spent on Moriah his heart had been hers. Though she was completely unaware he had fallen for her then. And although she was currently with the Grander, somehow Zerith’s feelings for her refused to budge. The more he thought about his princess, the more he realized he really wanted Jasmine to be the one in his arms. Sighing, Zerith shook his head at the Baroness, “I’m sorry, but I’m afraid I must decline your invitation. I’m engaged to another woman, who I love dearly. I wouldn’t trade her for anything. Even a night with you.”
“What? What do you mean you’re engaged? I didn’t see you with anyone when you approached me.”
“That was because she didn’t come with me.” It was a flat out lie, but since Zerith had started it there was no point in stopping now. “She’s here waiting for me. I just wanted to share one dance with our hostess and thank her for a truly wonderful evening.” As if on cue, the music stopped and the warder took this opportunity to bow once, turn around and leave. The Baroness called out to him as she watched him walk away, but the words fell on deaf ears.
He didn’t take him long to find Jasmine, the length of her hair was a clear giveaway. Yet he was a little hesitant to approach her right away in case the Baroness was still watching him. “What the hell is stopping me?” he thought. “I already told her I was engaged. I might as well act like it.”
Reaching out, he gently grabbed the princess’ shoulder. “Love?” he said in a manner that made it sound as if he was calling out to her. Surprisingly, the princess turned around and stared straight into the eyes of her warder. Raising his right hand and removing the green mask that covered his face, Zerith smiled warmly. “I’ve been looking all over for you darling, I was starting to get think you left me behind. It’s about time we make our exit. I don’t want to keep the love of my life in here any longer,” he said shortly before he pulled Jasmine close and kissed her.
The entire evening had been a fake. Victor DelaSangre was fake, the outfit and mask he wore were fake. Even all the stories he said to pass himself off as a noble were fake. Yet the way his arms held Jasmine as if he would die without her. The way he held her close as if he wouldn’t even let an army split them apart. Even the way his lips gently brushed against hers as if he wanted to just take as much of her in as possible. All of those were real. Completely, undeniably real.
Jasmine
04-19-07, 01:07 AM
Jasmine had not been expecting Zerith to follow after her so quickly, never mind to be so bold as to actually kiss her. At first, she thought to smack him good and hard. Then, as she hesitated and felt his arms around her and his lips against hers, she could feel the truth in him. Slowly, she returned his kiss and in that moment her life changed, though she would not have admitted it. Softly, she broke the kiss and gazed up at him.
“One more dance, please? I’m sorry I yelled at you.”
As the two danced, a whispered conversation was being held across the room. Two men were watching the warder and princess dance, one dressed in fine silks, the other in red and black livery.
“Now, you’re sure this stuff will work, Gil?”
“Of course, milord. Love Potion #9 is one of the most sought after potions money can buy because it works. I’ve made sure her wine was laced with enough potion to make an old spinster heat up the night. In another minute or two, all you’ll have to do is convince her to dance with you and then steal a kiss. The rest of the night, she’ll be putty in your hands.”
“You better be right, Gil, because if you’re not...”
The young lord left it hanging as to what the consequences might be and put on his best smile. He had every intention of making the Lady Jasmine Kamasha his tonight and was willing to go to almost any lengths to get what he wanted. He bowed to Jasmine as he neared the two dancers.
“Might I have the honor of dancing with such a beautiful lady?”
Jasmine smiled politely, but then leaned in close to Zerith. “I’m very sorry, my lord, but we were just leaving. Perhaps another time, good night.”
Clamping down a tight lid on his frustration, he took her free hand in his as she started to turn away, “Please, I insist, just one dance.” Firming his grip on her hand, he pulled her roughly away from Zerith and into his arms, ignoring her protests as he led off into the next dance. “Now, my fairy queen, we dance.”
Jasmine looked over the lord’s shoulder at Zerith pleadingly. She was not normally one to allow herself to get drunk, but right then she felt much too tipsy to fight back against the taller, stronger lord.
When Zerith would look back on his first kiss with Jasmine, he’d remember that it was much better than he originally thought it would have been. He expected her to be defiant, to slap him in the face so hard it would leave a mark. Then while his cheek stung and his pride was wounded, she would storm out of the estate and hurry back to be held by her Grander. That was how he imagined it.
Yet what she did blew his mind away.
Slowly, he felt her arms wrap around the back of his neck. Her lips pressed against his as she took the initiative and kissed him again. The halberdier was quite surprised at her response, but pleased nonetheless. She allowed her shield to drop momentarily, and grabbed hold of her warder and held him close. For once it wasn’t her precious prince charming, but her protector instead.
As their lips parted, her blue eyes were fixed on his face. Her behaviour changed as she was suddenly asking for another dance and to be forgiven for how she spoke to him during their argument. Smiling, Zerith took her hand in his, “One more dance, and you’re forgiven.” He led her back to where they had danced not too long ago, and the two were moving to the music in just a few seconds.
“If I had only known earlier that a simple kiss would have this effect on her, I would’ve done it long ago,” he thought. It was like magic, she was right where he wanted her. As the two danced, they didn’t have to worry about the mission for once. The work had been dealt with and all Zerith had to do know was inform Clement what he found out. Yet that didn’t mean the two of them couldn't enjoy the evening just a bit longer. It was only one dance afterall.
Out of the corner of his eye, the halberdier saw another noble approach and humbly ask Jasmine for a dance. She declined his offer as politely as she could as if to try and cushion the blow. Yet the man didn’t seem to handle rejection well, just like those other two nobles. Before Zerith realized it, the man had Jasmine by the arm and practically tore her away from the halberdier. The princess clearly voiced her opinion, but he had already tuned out her voice. Taking her in his arms, the noble took the lead and forced Jasmine to follow along with the music. All the while she didn’t even glance at the man before her. Instead she looked over to Zerith, pleading for him to take her away from the place she found herself in.
Biting his lower lip in frustration, Zerith quickly donned his green mask and strode out onto the dance floor. It didn’t take long for him to disappear out of Jasmine’s sight, the numerous couples between them did a good job of concealing the warder. The young noble couldn’t care less about the man in the green outfit, he probably wouldn’t even remember Zerith’s name even if Jasmine told it to him. “I must say, you’re much more beautiful that I thought you would be Lady Jasmine,” The noble said. “My fairy queen is quite the dancer.”
“Too bad the same can’t be said for you,” replied a voice coming from behind him. The noble turned his head to the side, only to see Zerith’s masked face right behind him. The warder smiled, “I don’t mean to offend you by saying that, but it’s just come to my attention that your form could use a little work. For example,” Zerith said as he grabbed hold of the man’s left wrist. “You’re not holding your arm up properly. You need to hold it up more like this…”
The movement happened so quickly that the noble didn’t know what he had gotten himself into until he felt the pain shot up his arm. With a quick twist, the noble’s hand released Jasmine’s and Zerith immediately twisted the nobles arm back and around behind him. While Zerith’s left hand pushed the nobles arm further, his right grabbed onto the noble’s right shoulder. “Now this is much better.”
“Ow! What the hell are you doing!?” the noble demanded.
“I’m teaching you a lesson,” Zerith said as he applied more pressure and twisted the man’s arm further back. “The next time you treat my fairy queen like that, I’ll break your damn arm. Understood?”
“Yeah, yeah I get it! I’ll leave her alone, I swear! Just let go of me!”
“Good, just remember that she’s mine,” Zerith whispered as he immediately released the noble and pulled Jasmine safely behind him. “Now get out of my sight before I change my mind about waiting to break that arm of yours.”
Rubbing his sore arm, the noble did the smart thing and went off on his way. Ignoring the low mumbles from the noble’s mouth, Zerith turned around to face Jasmine. “Come on, it’s time we get out of here. A carriage should be waiting for us outside.” Taking her hand in his, Zerith began to lead the way out. He knew they needed to get out of there as soon as possible now, especially considering what Zerith just did to another guest. Once they got to the carriage, they were home free. Then all he could do was enjoy Jasmine’s company for a little while longer.
Jasmine
05-04-07, 09:07 PM
Relief flooded Jasmine’s face as Zerith suddenly reappeared and made short work of the noble. She said nothing at all during it all until they were at last in a carriage and on the way back to her inn. Once inside the carriage, she sat close to Zerith, leaning her head against his shoulder and resting her hand on his knee.
She was quiet for the first few minutes in the carriage, then glanced up at his handsome face. Why had she never noticed before how handsome her warder was? Smiling softly, turned her head a little ways so she could see his features more clearly.
“This has been an interesting evening, Zerith. Also, I must thank you for getting me away from that man. I don’t think I could’ve stopped him from doing anything else he may have wanted. Not that it might not have been enjoyable, I just think someone else might be better qualified,”she hinted, leaning up and forward to kiss him again.
As before, the move gave Zerith a pleasant surprise, that he returned without thinking about it. With the love potion fogging her thinking, Jasmine moved only to cuddle in Zerith’s arms more comfortably and to pull his far arm around herself. Gently he let his hand slide down from her hip to her knees, then scooped her up into his lap properly. Giggling through their kiss, Jasmine wound her arms around his neck, entwining her fingers in his curly hair, and enjoying every minute. Lips locked, they said not another word as the carriage carried them away from the glamour of the ball and back to the simple room Jasmine had rented.
All too soon, the driver was reigning the horses in and knocking on the door. “We have arrived, my Lord and Lady.”
Interesting?
The evening had been an interesting one indeed. From the discovery of the identity of the woman he was assigned to work with, to the moment where the halberdier told the princess the truth about her ‘prince charming’. The evening Jasmine and Zerith shared would be one they would recall for months. Even the kisses the princess planted on her warder’s face would be ones that the halberdier would recall later on and smile at. He felt like he was in a fairy tale.
He couldn’t get enough of her lips, every one she shared with him left Zerith wanting more. He wanted all of her, to take her in his arms and forget about the rest of Althanas. To hell with Raelyse, the Order, Moriah and everything else the world had. All the halberdier wanted at that moment was Jasmine, alone and completely to himself.
Whatever had got into his princess, Zerith didn’t mind in the slightest bit. Instead, he seized the moment as he grabbed her in the carriage and pulled her into his lap. All conversations died after that. No words of relief that they pulled the job off, no celebrations of success. Instead the two of them were ‘celebrating’ in a completely different way and left the halberdier wanting to pull something else off.
Suddenly, the moment was ruined as the driver informed the couple they had reached the place the princess was staying that night. While Zerith groaned in frustration, his princess gave him a wicked smile as she took his hand. “Come on, I know a place were we can be alone and undisturbed,” she said with a wink.
They were acting like teenagers. As if everything they were doing was wrong and they knew it. The two of them didn’t even bother to say anything to the driver as they left the carriage in a hurry. The princess held onto her warder’s hand tightly and led the way straight into the inn and upstairs. She stopped only for an instant as she fumbled with the doorknob to her room. Though, when she eventually succeeded she grabbed onto the man beside her and pulled him into the room. The moment the two crossed the threshold she shut the door as if she was shutting out the rest of the world and their opinions of her behaviour.
Without a moment to spare, Jasmine pushed the halberdier back against the door and immediately went back to what she was doing before the interruption in the carriage. Her arms wound around his neck, her right hand cupped Zerith’s cheek while the fingers of her left entangled themselves in her warder’s hair. She was being surprisingly aggressive for a woman of her stature. Yet as she pressed her body against his, the halberdier swore he could feel the princess’ heart pounding in her chest.
As for Zerith, he felt like he was losing control of himself in the heat of the moment. His hands moved of their own accord, sliding down Jasmine’s back to stop and grab at her behind. As he did so, a deep growl came from back of Zerith’s throat. He was thoroughly enjoying every minute of what they were doing. And although he didn’t really know exactly how far his princess intended on taking this, the man in him was looking forward to finding out. In fact, as the two continued to grope at each other while lip locked, the hands of the halberdier soon began the task of removing the princess’ dress.
His actions were rewarded with a moan from Jasmine before she broke their kiss a smiled seductively at him. “I think I’m beginning to see where you plan on taking this,” she said as she backed away. Reaching behind her, she undid her dress and slowly let it fall to the floor around her feet, leaving her standing before Zerith clad only in her undergarments. “And I think we were both planning on the same thing.”
She smiled wickedly and winked at him, “Oh, I know what you need Zerith.” With her eyes locked on his, she slowly brought her hands up to her shoulders. Slipping her thumbs underneath the straps the that as served at the only things that held the soft material of the slip she wore, she slowly eased them off her shoulders and let the slip fall to the floor to join her dress. She was teasing him now, playing some sort of game with her warder. Although it was one that was completely new to the halberdier, somehow he enjoyed it.
The sight before him was unbelievable, one that up until that moment he had only pictured in a few dreams he had. The woman he was infatuated with stood before him, completely topless and clad in only a small piece of material that covered the juncture between her thighs. Not only was he surprised this that was actually happening, but also that he couldn’t move his body for some reason. Before he could will his leg to take a step toward his princess, she had already come back to him. She pulled him against her and pressed her lips against his again, kissing him for all she was worth.
It felt incredible to hold her like that. To have all her curves pressed against his body, and have her bare breasts press fully against his chest. Suddenly, he could feel that he finally regained control over his body. He reached his arms around her and held her as close to him as he could. Pointless really, but it made him feel closer to her.
“I need this Zerith,” she whispered as she planted soft kisses along his collarbone. “I need you to make love to me here, tonight.” Pulling back a little, took his hand in hers and led him to her bed. Once there, she sat down on the edge and looked up at him. “I want to feel you hold me in ways that only lovers hold each other.”
Jasmine’s behavior completely shocked Zerith. He never imagined she would be so forward and direct to the point of stripping in front of him and practically begging for him to take her. She had always be so calm, so reserved. “I need…” he said as he ran a hand though her hair.
“Come on Zerith, tell her,” the voice in his head told himself. “Tell her you need her. That all you want to do right now is hold her close and feel her naked skin against yours as you make love to her. Tell her you want to make her feel pleasure in ways beyond her wildest dreams. Pleasure that even Raelyse wouldn’t ever make her feel.”
His body froze as he was coming to his senses. As much as he wanted to tackle Jasmine right where she sat and take her, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t lower himself to same level Raelyse Salidan was on. To going on secret trips to Jasmine’s bedroom in the middle of the night while the Grander slept. Zerith wanted Jasmine tremendously, but he wanted her all to himself. The thought of sharing her with another man was sickening. Especially when the other male was someone like the Grander.
“I need…I need to go,” he said softly before he spun around quickly. He didn’t even wait to hear any response from his princess before he hurried out of the bedroom and ran back to the carriage, leaving a nearly nude and confused Jasmine behind to stare out the window as the carriage disappeared into the night.
***
“You’re an idiot,” Zerith told himself as he lay alone underneath the sheets in his own bed. “Instead of lying in bed, Jasmine could have stripped you naked by now and be riding you into the ground at this very moment.”
Despite the fact he was calling himself an idiot, part of the halberdier felt a little good knowing that he wasn’t having sex with his princess. He loved Jasmine deeply, which was why he couldn't allow himself to sleep with her. If he did, he knew things would only get more and more complicated between the two of them. Not to mention he was fairly certain that if he made love to Jasmine when he had the chance, she would wake up in the morning regretting it. So instead of experiencing the pleasure so many couples do, Zerith rolled onto his left side to try and get some sleep before he met up with Clement to report on what he discovered about the Baroness. Slowly, a smile crossed his face when he looked back on the evening and came to realization.
“Jasmine loves me too. She might not realize it yet, but she really is totally in love me as well.”
((SPOILS))
((Noble's outfit- Through really just a costume, the outfit can be used when Zerith has to appear as a noble. These forest green robes do a fantastic job of looking expensive and showing it off. The outfit even comes with a matching green facemask. The costume tries to express a slight 'green dragon' theme. The material can be decided by whoever judges this. The outfit is also unsellable.))
((Signet Ring- A simple ring made from white gold. A large, elegant letter 'D' is the only design on the ring. It is carved in reverse, giving it the practical use for make wax seals. The exactly quality of this ring is to be determined by judges. The signet ring is also unsellable.))
Jasmine
05-12-07, 10:48 PM
Zerith’s sudden change of behavior confused Jasmine greatly. It had all been going so perfectly. The way his hands felt against her body and his lip against hers had only made the fire within her burn hotter. She knew what she wanted, just as she knew that Zerith must have wanted it as much as she did. He had not even given her a chance to say good night or anything else of the sort before he left in such haste.
Petulantly, she folded her arms across her chest and watched as he climbed into the carriage. Her lips curved down in a pouty frown as the carriage pulled away, taking Zerith with it. Why didn’t he stay? She would have to talk to him about it in the morning. A warder was supposed to stay near his mage so he could protect her. Who cared if she decided that also meant they could protect each other from the cold in each other’s arms?
Feeling very disappointed that the evening had not turned out as she had wished, she finally made her way back to her bed. In the morning, she would try to talk to Zerith and then be on her way back to Erebus. Raelyse would not have refused her and was probably waiting for her return anyway. Thoughts of her prince and her warder drifted in and out of her mind as she slowly drifted to sleep. She was no longer certain exactly what Zerith meant to her, but she did know that she still loved the Grander.
((Spoils: the dress and wings. The dress’ material is fine silk. There are no extra qualities or anything else, it’s just a really nice noblewoman’s dress. The wings are simple white gauze stretched over a wire frame.))
Witchblade
05-31-07, 08:43 AM
Story
Continuity: - 6 Matt, as the first person to post in the quest it’s your job to set up the thread, which you did, but you have to hook the reader in—if not in the first two sentences—the first paragraph. When I pick up a book, if I don’t at least enjoy the first paragraph is goes right back on the shelf and I would have done this with your thread, which is unfortunately because though it has it’s problems it was a good read. All you wrote in there was stuff about sleeping and silence that could have been condensed into fewer sentences. The rest of the introduction was good; changing the opening would have really given it a different feel. Jasmine, I really enjoyed your introduction, it gave the reader a good insight into the character and made them want to continue.
Both of you constantly mentioned the past encounter between your characters—maybe a little too much—but I didn’t mind. Almost every time you mentioned the past more was given on the events that occurred, yet you never did give it all away even in the end. This isn’t a bad thing at all, it makes the reader want to go back and read that thread as well actually.
The backdrop of this emotional thread was a mission, one that neither if you played very well at all. It felt like both character and writer forgot it from time to time and when remembered to throw it in, neither of the characters were enthusiastic about doing it and neither of you played it out fully. You never even told the reader about the information gathered on this Baroness. The two of you could have had a lot of fun playing with this mission, even adding a little bit of humour in, or some jealousy from the proposal of the Baroness to Jasmine. It was like you were playing it safe. Try testing the boundaries of your characters.
Setting: - 5 You two can describe setting, there’s no doubt about it in my mind. Unfortunately you forget about it from time to time and do not always interact with it. Jasmine, when you’re going to the meeting place to meet Clement, nothing was described. The conversation was never written, the setting was never given any kind of life. Remember, if you don’t describe it, the reader can’t see it. It’s your job to tell them where the characters are going and what that ‘where’ looks like, otherwise they float in darkness. Also remember to interact with your settings, pick things up, bump into things, notice small things that you would in real life. Matt, you don’t just notice that there are candles on the table; for example, you notice that one of them is not lit.
Pacing: 5 The two of you lost something in your pacing. The time it took to get to the masquerade felt too long, the amount of time spent in the masquerade too short and the ending was really disappointing. Then there’s the fight. It’s the climactic moment of the thread, or at least it should be, however writing the entire argument in one post killed it. Bunnying other characters is fine, but jumping back and forth from Jasmine to Zerith’s perspective, not to mention just being plain confused sometimes, killed the tension. I realize writing arguments between characters is hard as arguments are usually just talking, but remember people move when they get into heated conversations. Matt, you’re married to someone who talks with her hands, you should know this. Don’t just have your characters stoically standing there yelling at each other. Have their hands moving, make them pace, and rub their forehead, glare, and snicker, whatever. Their bodies should be doing things as well. This will help give you more to write about as you break up the argument into more posts. Don’t be afraid to make short posts either, there’s no reason to shove needless things in there just to make it longer.
The ending felt dead to me. After an emotional outburst from the characters, the ending fell flat and left me wanting more, not to mention I don’t think it was the best place to just the thread. It left it with little of a conclusion.
Character
Dialogue: - 7 The dialogue was believable. Despite it’s pacing problems I thought the argument was well done, it felt real to me and I thought it was rather cute. Almost like a lovers quarrel really, not surprising that Matt can write one of those. There were a few points where I was left to wonder why Jasmine didn’t just turn and walk away from him during that argument instead of asking him another question. NPC dialogue was good as well, Clement felt a little dry from time to time, but the Baroness was well done.
Action: - 6 There were a few points in the thread that I thought some of the action was a little out of character. As mentioned before, Jasmine seems like a strong-minded woman who doesn’t take crap from anyone, yet when a masked ‘stranger’ is telling her that the person she loves is cheating on her she stands there and argues with him. There were a few points in that argument where it could have and perhaps should have ended, but instead Jasmine starts it up again with another question and another statement. This felt off from what the reader had come to expect of her. More in Persona.
Persona: - 6 Zerith really seems to love Jasmine a lot, like ‘loving you like a loving river of love.’ Umm, no. You don’t need to mention it in every post, the reader gets it, he’s in love. Will you just win her away from Realyse already!? I already know it’s going to happen, you practically bounce all your ideas off of me.
Jasmine, the reactions of your character after Love Potion #9 (why #9, are there eight other ones before it?) is introduced into her wine is definitely out of character from the reader’s point of view. By the by, when did she drink this wine? I don’t remember reading it. I get she was under the effects of the potion and it’s supposed to increase her sexual appetite, but it just didn’t seem right. Maybe you as the writer were uncomfortable writing those scenes. My suggestion, read a few romance novels, Karen Marie Moning and Sherrilyn Kenyon are really good both in writing and storyline, ask Matt, and he’ll tell you. You also didn’t need to use the excuse of a love potion. With it, the whole thing came out a little silly, I would have enjoyed it if something comical happened, but that was not the case.
Writing Style
Mechanics: - 7 Right from the first post I noticed spelling mistakes, words that didn’t need to be there and the wrong words used from time to time. Reread your posts, read them backwards, take them apart and read them in sections, whatever works for you, Matt. Jasmine, you also had some mistakes of the same ilk in your writing, though it didn’t start coming out until about halfway through the quest.
Technique: - 6 Both of you have good writing techniques that you do need to approve on, but that will come with time as you write more. I didn’t spot the use of any extra techniques throughout the quest though.
Clarity: - 8 The only time I was confused during the quest was the argument between Zerith and Jasmine, and as said above, it was because it was written all in one post. Had that been broken up and not switching back and forth from one perspective to another so often then it would not have been confusing at all.
Wild Card: - 7 This was an over all good quest. I enjoyed reading but I was also a little disappointed. I know the two of you are good writers and I know you can do better than this. It just felt like you were playing it a little too safely with this quest. You could have done so much more with it and it was a shame that you didn’t. Still, looking forward to read more in the saga of Jasmine and Zerith.
Total: 63
Rewards:
Jasmine receives 900 experience and 200 GP!
Zerith receives 800 experience and 200 GP!
Jasmine receives her beautiful gown and the pair of wings.
Zerith receives his silver ring with the D insignia carved into the surface backwards. He also receives his costume made of Sifan and Vlince.
Cyrus the virus
05-31-07, 11:34 AM
EXP added!
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