Constructive Criticism

[Tad_MacLaren]

Rather than wait until I get done with my solo quest to gather feedback, I was wondering if any of you judge-type folks would mind giving it a quick look-see (Fallen Sky, over in Scara Brae) and shoot me some feedback? I'm new to this writing game and I'm sure I screwed it all up, i'd rather fix stuff early in the thread than wait till the whole thing is done. It's only about 1200 words so far, so it's got a looooong way to go to hit the 10k minimum, but hopefully it will get there before the year ends lol.

thanks,
Tad

[Brand]

First. I wrote 198 stories before settling on ONE to write today. And it is around 370 words, and is on fire at the moment. So, you can't say that it's bad. Anyways, to the point, i think your story is coming along nicely and should do pretty well. I might consider taking it to a different strategy and write it in a notebook. So, don't worry, it'll come along, and when you hit 20k and find that you still have ideas. Then take it into a word processor and check it over.

Ok, so, i didnt really stay on topic there.

[Morkotar]

Hey, I took a quick look... I'm a huge fan of concise writing, which you do well, and I like the way you write your dialogue and play the characters of each other. Here's a few quick suggestions you might consider as you're developing the story...

-Remember to go down a line every time someone new talks - otherwise the dialogue can become a bit confusing.
-Is there anything about the character, setting, or story you want the reader to know that you haven't communicated yet?
-If you get stuck, try going back a post or two, and re-reading to yourself out loud. As you make edits, you may get new inspiration for new posts

Hope that helps a bit - if you enjoy writing, keep it up! It always takes new members time to adjust to the particular style of Althanas, but I think you can adapt quickly.

edit: last piece of advice - you should post a link to the thread here, so people don't have to go find it themselves. They can be lazy like that :P

[Tad_MacLaren]

lol, good point :

http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?25683-Fallen-Sky

[Tad_MacLaren]

Oops, I just realized this probably belongs in the writer's workshop. My bad!