Welcome to the Masquerade

[BloodandBlades]

His mother had lied to him. That was the truth.

"Stay Strong", she said, "Remember your name." She said. But what good had either done for him? He had tried to stay strong, he had certainly remembered his name! But it had done nothing for him.

Fulgur II stood alone in the gloomy parlor of a mansion that once belonged of an old man who had clearly been rich but unimportant. When Fulgur had taken the man's life without question, no one had come to take Fulgur into custody. This meant Fulgur was left to brood day and night on his perfect revenge. Fulgur had been torn to pieces when his parents had been murdered by a ruthless band of orcs hired by a mysterious enemy. Fulgur was dying to find out who this person was and bring terror upon him for his evil deeds.

But as of now, Fulgur had to wait for the right time. As it had turned out, when everyone in the household had been vanquished, he had locked all windows and exits and had thrown away the keys; locking himself inside! He had done this to make sure that the only time he left the mansion was when he knew his time of vengeance had arrived... and that was not today. Today was like any other day; simply waiting to somehow bring his revenge upon the man who had ruined his life. As of now he was lurking in the corners of the parlor. Hidden in the green, heavy, curtains that draped off the locked windows onto the floor. The stone floor hadn't been swept in ages; the dusty, cold floor was covered in a thick, red carpet that ran across the entire room. A massive two door entrance led through the endless twists and turns of the hallways across the mansion.

It was midnight in Corone and Fulgur was wide awake. From behind the curtains he could hear the fireplace, filled with wood and alit with a strong fire; it crackled and begged him to pull up his chair and get cozy. However, Fulgur didn't budge. He stay hidden in cold corner, hidden behind the old, moldy curtains. His dark, one blue eye stared across at the stone wall. His mind carried no thoughts; no plots as it usually did. It was blank and dank as he stood there alone.

The fifteen year old lad didn't know one bit that this could be his day; the day when opportunity knocked on his front door asking if he was still there waiting for it. Asking to bring him to life. Today, little did he know this was it.


OOC: Closed to BlueGhostofSeaside!

[Ashla]

There she was, just standing there. What she wanted to do was forbidden- that is... If you're Ashla Rose Icebreaker. All the time, no matter what; she was always getting into trouble! Even walking up to a group of people asking for some water got her into a certain pickle! Meeting the "love" of her life and being captured by some mad king out to kill his innocent son was, well... An interesting turn of events...

So after getting out of that mess, Ashla had moved on from Raiaera to Corone. And now she was walking in a forest with her cat. Hey, Ashla always walked in forest! Something just told her though, this time...

"Eh!" She scoffed, "You're being irrational! That torture is still on you, Ashla!" Fireleaf, her loyal cat-in-crime sat down and looked up at her. Meow. Ashla could just tell what the silly feline was wondering about. "No..." Ashla scoffed, "I'm not going to turn back to town now. Not when who knows what is waiting for me!" She marched further into the wooded area. I'm going to regret this, I'm positive... Fireleaf simply followed his master into the brush.

So Ashla went on. Step by step, she continued on in the very lively forest. An owl hooted from a tree and Fireleaf jumped into Ashla's arms. Ashla chuckled and held her cat close, his warm fur gifting her new warmth as she gazed up at the crystal clear night sky. The bright stars twinkled across the dark sky; a reminder that light survived even in the darkest of places. The grass was low; dark green plants growing everywhere. Dew slept on top the low grass and reminded Ashla of the night's chill. She pulled Fireleaf closer, he purred and lifted his tail to his nose, falling asleep in his master's arms. Ashla smiled and and sprinted up a hill, her agile legs carefully placed with each step. She dare not let herself fall. At the top the girl gasped; there was a castle at the other side!

... Actually it was more of a mansion. In great awe, Ashla slowly walked up to the building. It was old, the stone on even the outside was dusty! The windows were all closed up and locked. Dust blocked Ashla's view of the inside. Ashla looked at the giant door in front of her. Should she go in? Should she dare tempt fate into reading her another long chapter of cause and reaction? Should she risk her every life and limb for a simple look on what was inside? Should she enter?

Heck yes!

[BloodandBlades]

Fulgur awoke from his dreamless sleep sweating. He lay in his massive chamber in the massive bedroom suddenly jerking into thought; Why do I feel like I'm not alone? He was laying upright in his bed, surrounded but the curtains that hid the room from his view. However, in a gap between two of the red drapes he saw a shadow move. He blinked in confusion and sat up. Suddenly, the curtain was pulled open by a figure unknown in the darkness of the night! Fulgur acted immediately; pulling out his cutlass from under his pillow, he thoughtlessly stabbed the intruder. His eyes widened when he heard a woman gasp. From the shadows, the person gasped and fell, face first, onto the bed. Fulgur was shaking violently! He could tell that his uninvited quest was a female, her long, black hair flowed everywhere. Who was she?

Fulgur quickly grabbed her shoulder and pulled her towards him. He dropped her at once when he saw that she had not a face! This young woman was faceless!

~

Fulgur jerked out of his sleep - the nightmare he had seen. He hastily grabbed his cutlass and sat up; scanning around his chamber. His curtains were drawn, everything was in perfect place. Long, shaky breaths escaped him as he began to recover from his bad dream. He still wondered though if his dream had meant something. Who was that faceless woman?

[Ashla]

Ashla hatched up a plan on how to get in. She touched the door and ever so slightly chilled it. Then she took her long sword and cut a hole through it. Then she pulled, kicked, cut; did everything she could to get a big enough hole to squeeze her thin, agile body in. She finally cut a small hole in the side of the wood door; that was enough for her to jump through. The halfling put her sword back and leaped through the door. It was very dark inside but a rare shaft of moonlight allowed her to briefly get a glimpse of the place she was in. She was in a hallway; the walls and floor were both made of stone and a rich red rug ran down the hall. old, burnt candles were hanging on the walls, never to be used again but never taken now. Cobwebs were barely noticeable, overlapping the corners of the walls, ceiling, floor. The ceiling was made of wood and was supported by small beams made of a stronger wood. Then the light of the blue moon vanished and Ashla could see nothing.

For a moment Ashla thought she was alone. Then the living day lights leaped out of her when she felt something heavy and soft attach to her head. Ashla had a girly moment, "Augh! Get it off! Get it off!" She used her arm and flung whatever it was on the floor in front of her. Since it was so dark, she could see nothing for a second. She about fainted when she saw amber eyes look at her. She shook and pointed, daring to ask what it was when...

Meow?

"Fireleaf??" Ashla realized. She face palmed for being such an idiot and babied the poor animal, "Oh my poor baby! I'm so sorry! Come here..." She held her hands out to him. The cat leaped into her arms and as Ashla paid amends by petting him, the cat cuddled and purred in his master's care.

Ashla held him tight as she slowly stood up; this place was cold, dark... She began to wonder, Maybe this wasn't a good idea...

[BloodandBlades]

Fulgur paced the room. He could not sleep; his dream had been haunting him for some time now. Who was she? The boy sighed and lit a candle. Holding the wax stick alit with fire, he excited his chambers and thoughtlessly walked through the mansion. The halls were skinny and dark, his candle light lit a path for him though as he blankly stepped from hallway to hallway. The air was stuffy, but it was cold. The lad didn't mind though, it kept him awake and that's what mattered.

Fulgur soon found himself in front of the door to the parlor again. He shrugged and walked in. He started a fire in the fireplace and grabbed a random book off the mantle. The mantle was dust-ridden, but the book was very clean. Fulgur had read this book many times and was currently reading it again. He had read any book he'd know that was stored here more than once, as books were the one thing that gave him the feeling of serenity around here. Even books of war and rage were enough to calm him down when he was on edge, get his mind off revenge for once, keep his sanity in check. The book he was holding, War of the Dead and the Living Trees, had a red cover with beautiful artwork of random, flowers, lines, and other things in the upper corner of the cover. The text was handwritten, black cursive, barely noticeable against the bright. red backround. However, Fulgur could still read it- since he had read it many times before.

He flopped onto a dark blue sofa and opened the book. He sulked into the chair and let himself be swept away by the story inside- unaware that there was a stranger lurking just a stair way down his mansion. He was also unaware that his own story would be written up once again, his own book taken and dusted off history's shelf; as the person he was with shared a common blood, and a common purpose.

[Ashla]

Ashla was leaning against the stone cold walls; her hands rapidly flooded across the walls, searching for any doors at all. Feelings her way through the old mansion, Ashla was unsure. Her cat Fireleaf was several leaps ahead of her. Ashla was jealous of the feline's nocturnal night vision. Fireleaf was ahead of her, sniffing the floor rapidly; however, loyal to his master, the feline was still close. This gave Ashla some sense of comfort- as she had to admit that she was scared of the dark.

Ashla's senses were cranked up; her heart-rate was surely rising over the thought of somebody or something evil, dangerous, attacking her out of nowhere in these shadows. The episode of when the band of orcs attacked and killed her uncle in the middle of the night flashed back to her. Ashla gasped, beginning to hyperventilate.

"Ashla! Get down- now!"
"Uncle!"
"Now!"

She fell to her knees gasping, "No! Don't!" Fireleaf hoppped over and rubbed against her legs. Ashla took hold of him, closing her eyes.

"Get under the table! I'll fend them off!"
Clash... Silence. Then blood. It leaked under the table, it was crimson red. So bright red. Ashla tried not to scream from under the table.
"U-Uncle... W-what did you do wrong? H-help..."


Ashla tried to shake herself back to the present, I'm so stupid... She desperately tried to recover herself, why did I come to this darned place anyways? Why am I not turning back? I'm so freaking stupid!

"Nooo!!!!!!!"

She kept hitting her chest, Stupid! Worthless! Uncle, get out of my head! Please! Ashla finally caught the breath to scream, "Stop! Help! Shut it! FU-" She stopped and fell onto her chest, she tried caling for help- just to get out of here, out of this help, "D-darn-... Somebody! ... A-anybody... Help- me-e-ee..." Her eyes drooped and the child fainted.

[BloodandBlades]

"Oh, help!" the boy cried to the heroin, "These pink zombies are"- "Stop! Help! Shut it! FU-"

The channel changed in the boy's head from the absurd story of pink zombies invading the town and the "helpless" prince needing the help of a shield-maiden to the real world story of the vengeance seeking boy in his mansion. The odd, female, voice was desperate, angry, and obviously meant to be heard. For a moment, Fulgur just stay locked into his chair motionless. The fire of the torches and mantle still flickered light and the room was cozy- but the cry of the woman he heard made even his blood run cold.

He stay there for a moment, frozen to the spot. Then like a zombie, he slowly rose from his chair and grabbed a lit candle. Then, he blindly walked down the many hallways aimlessly until he noticed a body on the floor. A cat was prodding her head with his muzzle, she had passed out, but was very much alive as her hand was tightly clutched. She must be having a nightmare. But what is that creature with her. A feline? -Yes, a feline. Seems like a boring, old, common cat to me. Then as he walked up to her (the cat hissing so) and he was able to see what she looked like, the boy went pale. "Th-this is the exact girl from my dream! ..."

The cat's hissing became louder and more aggressive as Fulgur fell to his knees. The kept one and on his blade while his other hand slowly crept to the girl's shoulder. The cat protectively bit his wrist, but he didn't feel a thing as he pushed the girl over. He was so thankful to see that she had a face! She had a cute face, a fairly round nose, regular lips that were a lovely pink, and her skin was fair. Since her ears were slightly pointed, and due to her body structure, Fulgur had the idea that she must be an elf- but other than those two things, she seemed very human.

Her eyes were shut, her eyelids seemed sparkling blue though she had no eye-shadow. Fulgur finally threw the still angry cat off him and kept starring at his visitor- she seemed only a little older than he was, and she had two blades down by her waist and another small one strapped to her leg. She was wearing brown pants, and a blue shirt with a longer, white undershirt underneath. Fulgur sighed as the cat tried to attack again and once again threw him aside; he was tempted to kill them both, but he was also curious. He picked up the girl and quickly carried her to the lab where he was hoping to give her something that would wake her up... the feline was ticked and trailing behind.

[Ashla]

Ashla moaned and clutched her forehead, it was thumping loudly. She slowly opened her eyes and noticed she was in a lab! The room was dark except for the various colored potions that were everywhere, contained in veils and bowls; stacked and hanging on metal bars on tables and floors. There were also some torches lit here and there. The floor was steel and the wall was wood; the ceiling was supported by sturdy wooden pillars. Ashla was laying on the only table in the room that didn't have any liquids on it. She threw herself off the table and in response, got another head ache. She fell to the floor and moaned.

Ashla heard footsteps and looked up, a young man was looming over her. The girl's eyes widened, she reached for her blades but they weren't there! The kid then held up her belt with her two larger weapons attached, and smirked, "Looking for these?" Ashla growled, "Who are you, and what do you want?" -It was easy to tell she woke up on the wrong side of the table today.

The boy's smile was replaced by a neutral glare, "This is my mansion."

"It looked abandoned to me..." Ashla said quietly.

The boy replied, "Well, I live in here. And what are you doing inside this place? A girl would find this place creepy, right?"

"I'm not a soft princess," Ashla smirked as she pulled out her dagger- just to show off; "I'm not one of those pitiful ladies in dresses and ribbons asking for a young man to rescue them! I can save myself with no bother." Her smile faded, "And I was just curious, so I checked this place out,"

"So you came in here just to explore?" The boy asked suspiciously.

"Yes."

"And that stubborn cat over there is with you?" He pointed to beneath a steel table where Fireleaf was enjoying a bowl of warm milk.

"Yes."

"And your name?"

"Ashla. Ashla Rose Icebreaker."

[BloodandBlades]

"Icebreaker."

The words hit him like the most blazing of fire, burning and breaking into his dark, cold soul. He starred blankly at the girl standing before him, no way this stranger was one of his noble family- they were all dead after all! ... Where they?

Fulgur pulled out the first weapon his hand fell on - the long sword he had taken from her - and pointed it at her, "Impostor!" He accused, "You surely are no member of my family! You seam like an elf to me after all!"

The girl seamed easily shocked that he had first lashed out at her; but when he mentioned her being an elf, she formed this sort of "know it all" face, "Actually, I'ma hybrid of human and elf."

Fulgur growled, "Which parent was the human then?" He was looking into this just to see if it was true.

Ashla sighed and crossed her arms, leaning on her left leg - like she wasn't being threatened at all. But then Fulgur noticed how tightly he was hugging her arms... She was indeed frightened. She rolled her eyes an answered quickly, "My father."

Fulgur glared, she was pulling a good "brave" act on, but he wasn't buying it. Dying for more information, he stepped closer to her, the blade still pointed at her. "And his name?"

She suddenly seemed angry, "What is it of your business, bossy boy." Her eyes started to change color, "What do you want from me, spit it out!"

Fulgur almost dropped the blade when her eyes turned to a crisp, glassy, frightening, color. Her eyes were like chips of ice... An ability passed down genetically in his family that showed when one was annoyed or in deep distress - this Ashla standing in front of him had just that. There was a long silence, the look in her eyes did not fade and Fulgur was trembling. His shacking hands couldn't keep hold of the long sword and it fell to the ground, clanging against the metal floor and breaking the silence.

Ashla looked down at the weapon and back up at him, "What's wrong?" Her eyes suddenly went back to their former bright blue. Fulgur couldn't stop himself from falling to his own knees, "S-S-somehow- some-somehow, you... You're related to me..." He watched her every movement as her eyes darted between him and her old blade. Her mouth was in a deep frown and her eyes still showed signs of annoyance. Her body was tight and her shoulders were up, she was still angry at his lash out. She quickly bent down and snatched the long-sword and pointed it at him; her eyes suddenly showed some kind of shadowing pain, "In what ways, do you say, are we alike in blood?"

[Ashla]

He only continued to tremble before her. Ashla couldn't help but wonder if he was mentally stable; to lash out at her for just saying her name was one thing, but suddenly claiming that they were family was insane! Ashla felt butterflies fluttering helplessly in her stomach. What if he was true though, how were they related, why? She had been alone except her uncle all her life. Her mother died in childbirth, so she didn't remember her at all! Her father took care of her and loved her, but never gave her the time and effort she desired, returning home drunk at night and one day, dying from some kind of illness by the time she was four. Her uncle took very good care of her and deeply neutered her, but she had no friends and knew of no other family during the years she stayed with him - and then when she was fourteen he had been killed by a band of orcs. Julius, at first, was nothing but a heartless jerk to her; but now, after they encountered each other again, she began to love him all over again and even at the moment she was glaring into the young man's eyes, had been fighting the regret of parting paths with him again anyways. Everybody who had ever been there even for a second had been taken away from her in some way, some form, some place. It broke her up inside but she had refused to give up, and now... Maybe she had finally found it again.

Her eyes darted between the man and the blade, she was contemplating whether he would try to stop her... Well she was loosing all her patience so she quickly snatched the long sword from the ground and in turn threatened him "In what ways, do you say, are we alike in blood?"

He blinked and looked up at her, "Your eyes changed to the form of ice when you glared at me. Only Icebreakers have that ability - it's in their blood... Our blood."

Ashla let the words swirl in her head, If it's similar to ice then... Ashla took a deep breath and used her sword to cut a piece of her skirt off. She simply dropped her weapon and placed both hands over the white cloth in her hand. She smirked as she performed her magic and the cloth became very cold; ice particles started to form due to the how cold the cloth was. She glanced at the boy, "Can Icebreakers do that?"

[BloodandBlades]

OOC: This is where I started having to do major edits to to a silly error I made in the writing process; so sorry if something doesn't seem to fit right between this post and post 17.

Fulgur felt like fainting, "Y-Yes..." He closed his eyes and pulled himself together, he had to find out more. They both needed to. "My father was Fulgur I, do you remember him?"

The girl dropped the cloth and began to think. After a while she said, "I remember a man coming to my uncle's house off and on. My uncle claimed he was related to himself... He had brown hair and blue eyes. he looked very- strong, and... Rich? He never talked to me except once though..." She suddenly went pale.

Fulgur felt that something was wrong, "And?"

She shuddered, "He told me to get out of his way the first time I he came. I was five. He said 'Kid, get out of my way! You don't belong here anyways!'"

"Wh-what was his voice like?" Fulgur asked.

"Dark and strong." She clenched her fists, afterwards I never even came downstairs when he came to visit my uncle. He seemed somewhat fond of him though. My uncle called him 'Fulgur' off and on, and 'brother'."

Fulgur II nodded, everything matched up with his father perfectly, but he would never be that mean to a member of his family... Would he? "And who was your uncle? Your dad? Why were you living with your uncle?"

She paused before replying, she seemed to be really uncomfortable for some reason. "My uncle was named Monte. Ashfall was my father." She sat down on the table, in deep thought, and shook her head, "He died when I was only four years old, so I lived with my uncle ever sense."

Fulgur leaned against the wall, he remembered Monte. He would come over a lot to have a meeting with the rest of the noble Icebreakers. However, he couldn't remember who the heck Ashfall was. Who was he? He mustn't have been an Icebreaker, which meant Ashla's mother should have been.

- Then it struck Fulgur, the reason his father had been so rude to her was because... Ashla must not be of the whole Icebreaker blood. She was a half-breed.

Then Fulgur also remembered that Ashla's mother was an elf. So all that was left was of Ashfall being the Icebreaker. "Where did Ashfall and you live?"

She squired, "In Raiaera, where my mom was born."

Fulgur continued to think, Ashfall, Ashfall, Ashfall... But he could think of nothing.

[Ashla]

Ashla watched as the boy fell into deep thought. After a very long silence, the boy turned back to her and looked at her for a moment. Then he smiled, "Come along now, we must not stay in the cold here. I must take you to the... Hey, are you hungry?"

Ashla laughed at his sudden attempt to be hospitable, ""Well, yeah, I suppose I could use something to eat." She the remembered to ask, "What's your name, anyhow?"

"Fulgur II." He simply replied, he stood up and showed her the door. Ashla called her cat who bounded up to her immediately. Ashla picked him up and walked to the exit.

~~~

Ashla sat at the large, square table in the so called "dinning room". It seems like a prison with a table in the center to me. The only other things in the room other than the wooden table and chars were the doors and one, small, window high above her. Like the rest of the mansion, the walls were made of stone while the floor was wood. He stirred her chicken soup around as she propped her chin on her hand. The door opened again and Ashla looked up to see Fulgur walk into the room with about a dozen folders in his arms. He sat down next to Ashla and opened a random folder, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this."

"What are those?" Ashla asked, not realizing how nosy she sounded right there.

"Family folders and booklets. I have no clue of where you come from in my family, so it has come to this boring paper work..."

Ashla scoffed as she watched him try to keep all the folders in his grasp while sorting them on the table, "Yeah, 'boring paper work' seems about right."

He let out a very small laugh; the laugh was something that said that he agreed with her.

As Fulgur searched through all the papers, Ashla sipped away at her soup. It tasted terrible, but he forced herself to take it in for a simple energy source (and to be polite to her host and apparent cousin). She also needed something to calm her down since she was so excited about finally finding her roots again. Fulgur place one or two papers on his lap and threw the others aside. Finally, he took all the papers he had in his lap and made once, neat stack.

"Brace yourself, because this is going to be rough."

[BloodandBlades]

Fulgur sighed after saying that first sentence and braced himself, he had learned everything he needed to know now and... Ashla indeed was an outcast, which made it suddenly unsurprising that she was still alive right now; maybe whoever called for the death of his family must have considered Ashla's death unneeded since she wasn't of the pure Icebreaker blood anyhow. He closed his eyes then opened them again, he started to explain.

"Before most of us got killed off, we had out parents and uncle. Fulgur I, Monte, and Ashfall...." He paused again, "Our uncle was loyal Icebreaker and loved all of his family dearly, he was a greater man than maybe even my father. My father was the head of our family, he was the oldest and- well," he chuckled for a moment, "Was very proud of it." He smiled for a moment, remembering, then frowned as he continued, "Meanwhile, Monte was a noble who had reached out a lot towards the people of our country, everybody loved him. Then, we get to your father, Ashfall..." He sighed as he finally reached the hard part, "There are two branches of the Icebreaker family, they both have the same abilities and share the common blood of the ancestor who started us, but these two families are relatively unrelated to you and me. To preserve our bloodlines, members of each branch were allowed to only marry each other... Your father broke that rule with an elf, her name was Layla."

Ashla was listening completely to him so far, she still said nothing. She was just thinking of what he was saying, so he continued, "My father was extremely upset when Ashfall secretly became engaged with Layla, so he- he banished him."

Ashla jumped in her chair, "Wh-What?"

Fulgur's head briefly fell, then went up again, "Ashfall was torn from the family tree and forbidden to even stay in the country. According to you, he and Layla lived in Raiaera when you were born. Well, that must be where he ran off to after that moment he was disbanded from our family. And that's how he and Layla became married and had you, and-"

Ashla suddenly cut in, her expression was unreadable as she asked, "And how do you know about this?" Her words were hushed and cold.

I knew she would take this badly... Fulgur showed Ashla the files. They all had pictures of family members or graphs of the family, and Ashfall had been cut off from them all; and in the newer ones he was not included at all. Ashla fell back in her chair, pain flooded in her eyes. Fulgur tried to speak again, but paused, Ashla sorrowfully glared at him. Fulgur plucked up strength and spoke again; he was now whispering, "He was an outcast." Fulgur gulped, "The reason you must barely remember my father or anyone else is because- you... You were considered an outcast too- an outlaw."

[Ashla]

Ashla couldn't believe the words coming from Fulgur's mouth. Her father was an outlaw? And she was too? "But!-" She protested, "I didn't do anything wrong! What did I do wrong?!" She defended, she hadn't harmed a single person in her life!

It was true though, that she knew of nobody except her uncle when she had been growing up. Her days under her uncle's wing though had been happy and cheerful, he seemed to care for her like she was his own child, and Ashla had been happy despite anyone else's distaste of her. She actually hadn't noticed it at all, she had been content to pick flowers in the field and frolic in the woods. Her uncle and their cabin was all they needed, and they were happy together. He had never taken her anywhere outside the place though, and outside the fence that guarded her uncle's property, she knew nothing of the world at all. Even in her first teenage years, she would go into town for lessons in being a "young lady" (which she did terribly at), and would buy food and clothing from the market, but still, she would talk to nobody and nobody would talk to her. Well, she had formed a friendship with baker who she would talk a lot to every time she visited the bakery, but that was it.

And now Ashla realized why. Had her uncle been trying to protect her from her own family? Had he been trying to save her from the haunting truth she had just heard about just now. And she had done nothing wrong in her life. She turned to Fulgur again, "Why?" She begged him.

[BloodandBlades]

"They must have..." Fulgur reluctantly concluded, "Judged you from your heritage alone."

He sighed again, she was not taking this well; and she had every right not to. She had been looked down on for unfair reasons; yes, her father had done something wrong, but why point at Ashla as well. She had just been born to Ashfall and Layla, was just being born to an outlaw make her an outlaw as well? Despite how cold he was towards other things, he still had it in his heart to consider her story unacceptable.

Ashla stood up for a moment, she looked like she was about to cry... Or kill somebody, either way, her expression was the same. She was fighting a harsh pain, a terrible guilt, and there was no backing out from it now. She had learned the truth, and that was that. She suddenly stomped her foot and spoke Fulgur's exact thoughts, "So what?! All I ever did was be born to them! How is that doing something terrible! Or is simply being born to a sinner making me a sinner too?" Her fists were clenched, her eyes shaded in ice once more, "If that's the truth then... What am I? Nothing but a worthless, annoying brat who nobody cares about?!"

Fulgur wanted to scream "No", but he stopped himself, some of that was actually true, but... No matter what she was not worthless. But Ashla didn't seem like she would agree with him if he tried to tell her that anyhow, as her next move was simply painful to endure...

[Ashla]

OOC: I never cried while writing a post of mine before, but this got me really close to it. I'm close friends with somebody who used to cut herself and... This post was written with her in mind...

"I'm-..." Ashla couldn't stop herself from screaming, this pain... This pain was unspeakable. "I..." She let out a low pitched growl that quickly evolved to a scream, "Why me?!" Her greatest fears emerged from her, the shadows that told her that she was good as dead and a useless kid with nothing better to do in life than run around rampage, ruining the pleasant days of many people one at a time. "Why is it always me?!" She reached down and placed her hands over something metallic, " Why I always the one counted out and left for dead!?! She pulled something and looked at it in her hands, it was her dagger she had bought at the bazaar, she saw the reflection of herself in the clear steel. Her eyes were puffy and tears were streaming down her face, it made her feel ugly.

Without thinking, Ashla did something she swore she'd never try in her life before. A sharp pain coursed through her wrist and a moment later, trickles of blood fell to the colorless floor, giving it a tiny, crimson glow. Ashla starred blankly at her bloody wrist for a moment, then did it again...

[BloodandBlades]

Fulgur only watched as Ashla blindly began to cut herself; cut after cut, she did it again and again. She started more rapidly and quickly sliced down her wrist again and again. Fulgur could only imagine her pain, he had to deal with the loss of his entire family before, so he knew the level of pain she was in, but... The reason for her pain was a different story...

He finally couldn't stand it anymore and raced towards her, he grabbed her one hand and slightly twisted it, "Stop it!" He screamed. She dropped the knife and it fell to the floor. The thump that it made seem to echo in his ears as Ashla looked up at him in surprise. Everything seemed to be in slow motion as they exchanged glances. Finally, after a terrible silence, Fulgur spoke again, "Stop it." he said more sympathetically. He didn't know where he had learned this, maybe one of the many books he had read off the mantle had planted these words in his head, who knew? But these words needed to be spoken, "Just because your life sucks," he spoke with a tiny bit of force in his voice, candy coated with a soft manner, "Does not give you the right to bellow in self-pity."

She continued to cry as she just blankly looked at him, she was shacking so... Fulgur pulled her towards the table and took her full glass of water, and dripped some of it on a cloth napkin. He washed her wounds and continued to speak, "Whenever the fog of delusion and the fruit of shame attack you, don't hide away and die of guilt. Whenever sadness and suffering come knocking on your door, let it in- just to make you stronger."

"Now he had washed the blood off and was wrapping another, clean cloth napkin around her wrist as a bandage. She found himself smiling at her as a ray of sunlight sparkled through the one, small window of the dark room, "Fight back."

[Ashla]

Tears fell from Ashla's eyes still as her cousin tried to sooth her. It wasn't working. "I- I..." She frowned, "I've told myself that a million times before." She took a couple steps away from him and admited her darkest fear, "Maybe I mean nothing to the world at all. Maybe I'm just... Here." She shook her head, "I-I-. But I can't be that... I can't be- w-worthless..."

"No," Fulgur shook his and stepped in front of her again, "No. That isn't you."

"What makes you believe that?" Ashla asked him calmly, she was somewhat calming down now- calming down enough to feel the shooting pain in her wrist now. She winced at that... Mistake, and the pain that came from it.

Fulgur froze in thought for a moment then opened his mouth to say, "What if I made you a deal?"

Ashla was confused, "A deal?" She was a bit nervous too, but for the most part, oblivious. "What deal? What kind?"

[BloodandBlades]

Fulgur tried not to smirk, his idea was perfect- his idea for revenge and how to get his cousin to discover her purpose in that. The Icebreaker branch always served the head, but she didn't know that. Now she would realize this place and take it.

"What if," Fulgur chose his words carefully, "I took you back to where it all happened."

Ashla just tilted her head and gave questioning glance. She was hugging her arms, the one she had cut she was holding twice as hard. Fulgur could tell she was curious, but also wary.

"If you help me get revenge, I'll help you find the answers." Fulgur stated his plot as simply and neutrally as possible.

"Revenge?" Ashla asked, her interest doubling in a somewhat odd way, "Revenge for what?"

Fulgur scowled, "Revenge for what happened to our family. Somebody murdered all of them! We are the only survivors!" His family pride bleed through in his suddenly sickening glare; he clenched his fist in anger, "As the last of our family, it is our responsibility to make whoever did this pay!" He smirked at the idea and lowered his fist, "I don't know who it was yet, but if you help me find them and kill them, I will help you find out everything you need about us- everything... Including your purpose." His smirk melt down to a simple smile as he extended his hand to Ashla, who was just looking at him in thought, her arms still crossed, "What do you say?"

[Ashla]

Ashla could only look at Fulgur's hand in a deep glare. She didn't like this idea, she always had been told by her uncle that revenge is a bad rode to go down, and her own conscious told her the same. However, the return favor would be as great as that and really, Ashla had nothing left to lose. She bit her lip, this was a hard decision, but something just told her, do it.

Ashla sighed as she just starred at his hand, her mind swirling with thoughts about the entire thing. Millions of thoughts, racing around her, suffocating her better self's mind, begging her to help Fulgur in hos bloody murder plans. Eventually, she closed her eyes and mentally screamed, Stop!! She sighed and opened her eyes again, her attention still on Fulgur's extended hand. One single thought still swayed in her head, do it.

She looked up at her cousin, his expression nothing but hopeful, looked down again, looked up, and smiled. She walked up to him and took his hand, As I told myself before... "I have nothing else to lose."

[BloodandBlades]

Fulgur chuckled, "Yes..." He whispered, "Together, we will solve everything. Together, we shall take back what's been taken from us."

He let go of her hand and cleared his throat, "Let us get ready for our quest." She clapped his hands; his voice ringing out loud and clear, "We shall pack everything we need." His packing plans spilled out like milk from a glass, "I shall go to my quarters and the armory and collect any extra cloths and materials we need. And you, go to the kitchen and get us our meals and such." He walked over to her soup, got a slab of "meat" out of the bowl and bent down to Ashla's cat. The cat sniffed it and just starred at him. Fulgur looked up at Ashla, "I'm sure your animal here can lead you there."

Ashla sighed and called Fireleaf up to her. Fulgur was barely able to hear her mumble to him, "Of course I get a job concerning a kitchen and food... And how dare he call my perfect feline a dumb 'animal?' ..." She sighed and walked off. Fulgur called out to her, "Hey! We'll meet at the front and see if we need to get anything else!" Ashla didn't stop but just left the room. Fulgur chuckled to himself, she had surprising spirit. She had just finished cutting herself and kicking and screaming over her fate, yet she was so quickly acting the way she had been when he had first met her again. Fulgur kept quietly laughing and started his way to his quarters.

~~~

Fulgur kept pacing back and forth, over and over again. Where the heck is she!?

Ashla finally came running down the hallway with several baskets full of food. Fireleaf was behind her, bounding around Halloween cat style. Fulgur's eyes widened at the scene as Ashla approached him, "Sorry!" she yelled, "Fireleaf wasn't listening to me and it took forever to even get to the kitchen!" She was all out of breath, panting as much as her cat was going crazy at their feet.

Fulgur II set the issue aside and spoke, "Bah, no big deal." He smiled, "Now, is a day I have been waiting for for the longest time... The day I take back."

So the cousins set out on their quest to their homeland to search for clues and reclaim their stolen lives. Their journey would take them to a place covered in white and laid across hostile mountains of treachery and blood. The valley it shared had one peaceful place, a calm lake, among the anguish and turmoil Fulgur's unknown arch enemy bestowed there. This place was named Eiskalt, the wildest snowstorm.


OOC: Wow, how did I get this done in only three pages and 21 posts?? I thought this thread would run longer!... Either way, this thread is now closed and being sent for judging. Since both accounts are run by me, I found a great chance to try and improve my writing style, I hope I improved at least a little... *Gulp*.

[Lye]

Thread Title: Welcome to the Masquerade ( http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?25853-Welcome-to-the-Masquerade)
Judgment Type: Full Rubric/Full Commentary
Participants: BloodandBlades, BlueGhostofSeaside



Plot: 15/30

Story- 6/10
The story starts off with a boy locked away in a mansion, brooding his inevitable revenge upon those that claimed his family. It takes a twist when a girl stumbles upon said mansion and breaks in out of curiosity. The strongest point in this story is the ability to tie two seemingly unrelated elements into one related plot. The story started out with a theme and was returned to the opening theme during close – an effective writing technique. Although this is the strongest element of the story, the weaker elements lie in the execution. The flow of the character’s personality, and their interaction with one another seemed unnatural. Several times when Fulgur II and Ashla were in conversation, the mood would change drastically with a quick turn around or lack of response from the other party. The primary example being the scene where Ashla brings the dagger to her wrist and begins to cut. Not only does she cut once, but multiple times before Fulgur II intervenes. Originally, he stripped her of some of her larger weapons. It was unusual that he would leave her with any at all, considering she was an armed stranger in his home. Another drastic switch, which was noted in the writing, was the girl’s ability to snap back from cutting to her usual demeanor. Though these moments add suspense, a matter of a ‘cooling time’ may need to be given to the reader to level back from the sudden change.

Setting- 5/10
Elements of the setting were described in enough detail to get a mental picture of the area. There was excessive mention of wooden ceilings in the beginning which could have been lessened to one occurrence with the same degree of effectiveness. The complexity of the mansion was successfully downplayed with the adjectives used, allowing to reader to focus on the setting of the current scenes. Many of the descriptors appealed to the visual sense with the occasional auditory cue. Since most of the focus was placed on dialogue, there was not much room for use of setting. Although adequate, to improve the conveyance of setting to the reader, the characters can describe more of the surroundings through their actions. For example, when Ashla was on the table surrounded by multicolor flasks, she could have mentioned the age of the flasks, the scent they put off, or a sound of eternally bubbling elixirs. The additional descriptors that appeal to sound, smell, touch, and occasionally taste will improve the setting for the reader. Again, the more that is conveyed through the character’s own body, the more immersive the story.

Pacing- 4/10
Due to the previously mentioned drastic changes in conversation, this area of the story was weaker than the rest. Fulgur II, who originally seemed dark and brooding, had several moments of concern and compassion. This was believable for someone meeting a long lost relative, but since the character seemed to be set up as a much more revenge obsessed individual, it seemed unnatural. The mood changed back to that serious tone near the end, but once again switched keys when interacting with the silly & unpredictable Ashla hauling food down the hallway. The pacing would have been stronger if Fulgur II consistently maintained a darkness about him and Alsha was the only point of inconsistency - it fits her personality better. The continuation of their story still leaves plenty of room to establish this. Minor errors in spelling, grammar, and character identity also harmed this area. See the mechanics section for specifics.



Character: 14/30

Communication- 5/10
This story was very heavy in dialogue, and therefore, the communication with characters was vital to this thread. As mentioned above, the characters seemed to change themselves rather drastically over short periods of time. Based on the subject matter, this is understandable. The extreme to which Ashla acted could have used a little more back-story since the reader isn’t given much to start with. The interaction between the two was believable, just not as natural as one would find elsewhere. To increase the strength of the story, more tension could have been created during the cutting scene. An example would be Fulgar noticing her bring the blade to her wrist, and he act out instantly, trying to wrestle the blade from her grasp. Work that out over a few sentences or a couple paragraphs and there is a much higher suspense value to suck the reader in.

Action-5/10
The actions the characters took in the story were very straightforward. The use of Fireleaf interacting with the environment and the two helped identify their presence. Nothing exceptional stood out, but the content was not poor either. Fireleaf jumping continually in and out of Alsha’s arms may be seen as a distraction to some readers.

Persona- 4/10
As mentioned in pacing and story, the characters had inconsistent personalities. Making this effective is a very difficult skill. As stated, the initial introduction of Fulgur II made him seem as he was going to be a dark and brooding character. Ashla, for the most part, stayed true to her introduction. Aside from the dark moment with the cutting, she was portrayed as very inquisitive, carefree, and light-hearted. Giving a more in depth, or emotional build for such intense moments would strengthen the scenes instead of creating a jagged changes of direction.



Prose: 12/30

Mechanics- 3.5/10
There were several grammatical errors in the writing, some of which may have been due to the difficulty in maintaining character identity. See below:


He let go of her hand and cleared his throat, "Let us get ready for our quest." She clapped his hands; his voice ringing out loud and clear, "We shall pack everything we need."
“She clapped his hands…” Either she clapped her hands, or he clapped his. It would seem rather odd if they clapped each others.

The kid then held up her belt with her two larger weapons attached, and smirked, "Looking for these?" Ashla growled, "Who are you, and what do you want?"
It takes a few reads, but the assumption is Fulgur makes the first statement, then Ashla growls the second. A line break may help this, or adding an identifier for the first line.

Fulgur II stood alone in the gloomy parlor of a mansion that once belonged of an old man who had clearly been rich but unimportant.
Although it is not mechanically a run-on sentence, it has poor flow. This statement would work better as two sentences.

All the time, no matter what; she was always getting into trouble!
Minor error, but the semicolon typically takes the place of a “,for” or “,then”. For this sentence, a comma would achieve the desired result.

Clarity- 4.5/10
Due to some of the conflicts in who did what, the clarity suffered. Some improper use of punctuation also caused occasional pauses or rereads that hurt the fluidity of the story. Duplicates of words in close proximity, and the occasional spelling error detracted from the read. A final read-through may assist with this. To improve reader clarity, step away from a story for a week or two, then return to read it anew. Some authors will diligently re-read all previous work before adding more to maintain the feel and catch any prior errors.

Technique- 4/10
It was unique to see the use of italics and bold as an emphasis. Imagery was throughout the writing to give a better idea of the setting. Foreshadowing was predictable, but was used in the dream sequence and came through when he found Ashla a few posts later. Very little use of other techniques were noted. More instances of similes, metaphors, personification, would have strengthened the writing.



Wildcard: 7/10

This is my little area where I can be less technical and more personal. You asked for an analysis of your description in the writing. I would say that it was adequate, but not fully immersive. It appealed to my visual senses the most, which isn’t bad, just not as engaging as a masterful story. Overall, I depicted a dark, musty mansion with peeling wallpaper. Because there was a murder with no professional care for the place, I imagined that the air was very dry with a sour tinge of neglected wood, plants, and linens. Without anything constantly lit, and the fact it was night, I also assumed a chill ran down the halls. The cold would be just enough to see your breath if you looked for it. Although some of that was not portrayed in the writing, the amount goven was enough for my imagination to fill in the blanks.

I also like having two characters to break up the story, but I did get a little confused with the typical PbP dynamic. Some of Ashla’s actions were explained in Fulgur’s posts and vice versa. This is just a personal preference. Two collaborators can post however they want, but a distinct difference between who did what would have been more understandable for me. I would have liked to see Ashla’s thoughts and actions in one post and then get Fulgur’s point of view in the next. It was almost there, but not quite.

Overall, it was a nice read. You brought two characters together with a common goal and gave them some time to be acquainted. Let’s hurry up and see what happens in the next installment!

Also, I saw your last quested score was a 43, so that means an improvement. Congrats!



Final Score: 48/100

BlueGhostofSeaside (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?16205-BlueGhostofSeaside) receives:


775 EXP!
100 GP!

BloodandBlades (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?16999-BloodandBlades ) receives:


775 EXP!
100 GP!

Congratulations!

[Mordelain]

Experience and gold added.