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Chaplain
10-05-13, 05:57 PM
Name: Sarah Olsin (refers to self as Holly Wood the Cracked)
Age: 19 (Presumed)
Race: “Cracked” Human
Hair Color: Shoulder Length Brown hair with reflective purple stripes
Eye Color: Black with green specks
Height: 5’8”
Weight: 92 lbs.

Personality: Outwardly psychotic, Sarah’s personality towards other people is rather skittish, though lively. Prefers the company of her living weapon, Jakey, or any other “Cracked” beings.

Appearance: Sarah’s general outfits match her personality and mental state, a shamble of bright colored under layer clothing with a darker patch work style over layer, symbolizing her joyous insanity and her dark fate. Being “cracked”, Sarah’s physical appearance is marked by sections of her body cracking away, specifically around her eyes and upper arms. Sarah covers her crack marks on her arms, while the cracks around her eyes can be confused with bad make up.

History:
Born in a reality entirely different from Althanas, Sarah Olsin was a small child. Severely underweight as a child, and slow to grow until her mid-teens, she was never one to stand up for herself. However, unlike most children of her reality, Sarah had the ability to change things. She could stare at a glass of water and think real hard to change it into milk. This reality altering ability seemed like just imagination to others around her until she changed a house fly into a butterfly; needless to say this shocked those who saw it. Adding to her poor demeanor, this new “curse” as Sarah began to think of it as, caused even more stagnation between her and the people of her reality.

Having such a reality, one would think Sarah would give up utterly on such a life, but for her, there was something keeping her to this reality. That one thing was the one person she had met in her reality who found her interesting. For most of her childhood, this friend, Rachael, had stood up for Sarah any time she was picked on, and because of this, Sarah was always in her debt, feeling a type of committed bond to her.

One day, just after her 18th birthday, Sarah found out that Rachael had developed a tumor in her brain. For the life that she cared to remember, Rachael had always been there for Sarah and now, there was a chance she may leave Sarah’s life for good. In her mind, Rachael was the only thing that mattered to Sarah and she had no way of knowing if she would live or die, until she remembered her “curse”, the ability to change things.

Believing her gift was the only thing that could save her friend, Sarah snuck in to Rachael’s hospital room one night and gave comfort to her childhood friend and protector. While Rachael slept, Sarah merely whispered in her ear, “After tonight, everything will be so much better… You’ll see.. Then we can go searching for flowers in the woods like old times.” As she ran a hand through Rachael’s hair, Sarah brushed against the spot where the tumor would be, willing it to disappear and leave Rachael healthy. After ten minutes of this, Sarah was satisfied that she had saved her friend, and passed out hugging her close.

The next morning Sarah was woken by a loud, flat buzzing and the hurried cries of nurses and doctors as they rushed into the room where she and Rachael were. Being pulled from the room, Sarah had no clue why the noise was coming from the machines or why everyone clustered around Rachael so much, after all, Sarah had just saved her. Why was everyone in such a panic? Rachael should have been okay now, right? There shouldn’t be a thing to worry about at all, isn’t that true?

A few hours later, a doctor came over to Sarah, who was now with both her parents, and Rachael’s trying to reassure everyone that Rachael would be fine. The doctor kneeled down before the families sitting in the waiting chairs, taking a deep breath he had explained that Rachael’s tumor had miraculously disappeared, and it should have saved her life. However, the pressure that the tumor had put on her brain previously had caused a build-up of blood within the brain itself, and with the tumor now gone, that build-up exploded inside of Rachael’s brain, causing a hemorrhage and ultimately killing her. The tumor itself was able to have been surgically removed, which would have given the doctors a chance to direct the built-up blood and save Rachael’s life.

As the news came to the families, Rachael’s parents now broke down into utter mourning for their daughter, and as Sarah’s family tried to console them, all on the hospital floor could hear Sarah scream out in utter terror as she realized that her “curse” really was no good at all, for in her effort to save her friend, she ended up sealing her friend’s fate instead.

A year had passed since Rachael’s death, and Sarah still blamed herself for what she had done. Sarah’s life was finally the living hell one would have expected from the very beginning. Adding the utter grief of being the one to kill her own friend, Sarah couldn’t take it anymore. Knowing of no quicker way out, Sarah snuck her father’s gun from his closet and snuck off into the same woods that she and Rachael frequented as young girls. Her hands shaking as she leveled the gun’s barrel to just under her jaw, she tried to pull the trigger. As the bullet shot from the chamber, Sarah’s “curse” reacted to the threat. All Sarah could remember was a bright light then an image of a mirror with her reflection cracking as she fell deeper and deeper down a hole until everything went black.

Present day Althanas, a brilliant light falls from the sky into the unexplored regions of the Outlands, crashing into the land with only a silent thump. The light that hits the grounds fades and only the frail form of a woman remains, that and a shattered weapon from a world beyond Althanas. As this woman rose and took the gun in hand, causing life to surge through both of them, a laugh could be heard. This cackle so irrational, the smile on the face of the one laugh so twisted, that the woman didn’t know anything but the names Holly Wood the Cracked, and Jakey.

Skills:

Bilingual- Average understanding of written and spoken Tradespeak, Spoken understanding of “Crackles” (racial language that cannot be translated without learning or knowing "Crackles", sounds like heavily interfered radio chatter to those who don't know the language. (In story looks similar to attached quote: "WhY d1d sH3 j0mP 0fF th3 8r1dg3?")).

Pictography- Very talented at drawing out what she means to say if her words escape her, giving a near childish rendition of whatever topic comes to her mind. Will be used in story plots)

Damaged Psyche- Traumatic experiences in her past caused Sarah’s mind to go haywire, that and the bullet to the brain that created her, making her thoughts irrational or her speech incoherent depending on if she has an episode.

Alien Appearance – Passive: Character’s “cracked” existence causes physical difference between them and other humans, alienating them from all but the most sympathetic or desperate of people.

Gunsman- Though unexplained, Holly has practiced aim with using Jakey to cast her “Cracked Reality Alter”. Her aim is near spot on, though taking her a moment to focus on one target. Allows for a clean shot of “Cracked Reality Alter” IF target ignores the chance to dodge as she lines up her living weapon.

Abilities:
“Cracked Reality Alter” – User “cracks” reality in a 9-inch circumference sphere at the base of her palm effectively nullifying the affect area, draining energy within its mass. Using a living weapon as a conduit to extend the effective cast range of the ability, user may cast “Cracked Reality Alter” as if firing a gun. User may cast ability 5 times per fight. When hit by a “cracked” sphere, target may feel: nauseous, disoriented, drowsy, or over all drained; the sphere maintains its place, however, allowing the opponent hit to move away from the sphere after it hits, still being affected. Targets hit by the sphere are not hindered in movement outside of the sluggish affects of losing energy. (Think of the feeling you get after donating blood or vomiting after a night of binge drinking.)When opponents are hit by ability multiple times, characters may fall unconscious from fatigue (Not a killing attack).

Stacked Ability: “Cracked Reality Shield” – User casts a close proximity “cracked” sphere which acts as a buffer against a single enemy attack. Consumes 1 “Cracked Reality Alter” charge to cast, only effective at 6-ft. from caster maximum range without conduit. Shields one attack of shield caster’s level or lower in a 2-ft circumference. Any other attacks under 3 levels higher are merely diminished slightly. Attacks that are 4 levels or higher ignore the shield. Shield blocks physical attacks such as CQC weapon strikes and minor magical hits, like a burst of flame or other attacks that need to make a connection, due to still drawing the energy from each hit into the altered reality.

Reality Whip- User uses living weapon to smack their opponent physically with the butt of the weapon. Repeatable blunt object strike, consumes no energy outside of normal stamina restrictions of a human being.

Equipment:
Jakey the Reality Hammer – Living Weapon in the form of a pistol with a long, shattered barrel. Acts as a conduit specifically for Sarah’s “Cracked Reality” casts, increases range from base of palm to 70 yards, as well as offering more rapid release. Jakey is a pistol made of refined steel, a process used in Sarah’s original existence, sharing similar properties to steel in Althanas . Sarah’s personal power conduit, Jakey was brought to life and formed in the same moment of time that Sarah gained her own “Cracked Reality Alter”. This shared creation moment bound the two forever, though the shattered mind of Sarah treats Jakey with equal affection to a sane person’s lover.

Race Background: “Cracked” Beings – “Cracked” beings are people, regardless of race or species, who have been mysteriously shunted from their reality and robbed of their existence by an unknown power to the land of Althanas. These beings maintain their normal appearance dependent on their original race, however, parts of their body seems to be cracking away and breaking off. People who become cracked are all victims of some form of traumatic experience that should have cost them their life. None of the cracked who can communicate with the people of Althanas can tell where they’re from, yet they all originate on Althanas from the Outlands far away from society. While not identifiable to those not “cracked”, there are 6 progressive stages of being “cracked”. Each stage the “cracked” get farther and farther away from who they used to be. Many who explore the Outlands in search of an origin to the “cracked” find the biggest congregation around a crumbling castle built into the side of one of the many mountains in the Outland’s unexplored regions. Because of their lack of existence, "cracked" beings require not sustenance, but as a side effect, do not regenerate or heal when wounded.

[Racial Skills/Abilities]:

*Altered Existence – Passive: Weakened physical form for being “cracked”. Has no scent and can only be sensed out by other “Cracked” Beings.

*Alien Appearance – Passive: Character’s “cracked” existence causes physical difference between them and other humans, alienating them from all but the most sympathetic or desperate of people.

* = Abilities/skills only accessible to the particular race of “Cracked” Beings. May be taken at later levels or not at all. Highly recommended at least 1 skill or ability is taken by level 10.

** Will write longer background on “Cracked” Beings after approval as well as expanded racial features.

Luned
10-06-13, 04:38 PM
Welcome to Althanas! As I mentioned may happen, I have some tweaks I need you to make to fit the limitations of a first level character. Ask here if you have any questions.

The stacked abilities and number of CRA (Cracked Reality Alter) uses they require are fine. Just please clarify that the shield can only defend fully against attacks from characters at her level or lower, and the higher the character's level it is, the less effective it is. When there's more than a couple levels' difference, the shield may simply be rendered ineffectual, depending on the strength of the attack. We trust you to not to power game and scale its effectiveness appropriately.

As for the total number of CRA uses in total, 8 is far too many to start. 3 is a good starting place. Let's say 3 can incapacitate a human being of normal energy levels, so each on target strike depletes about a third of an average person's energy. I understand this limits what you can do, but keep in mind that abilities such as teleportation are considered fairly high level, so using most of her juice on that is appropriate when starting out.

Please specify that the pistol is not a functional firearm. An idea for a "skill" might be to add any training she's had in aiming it, if we're going for that kind of aesthetic.

And as for racial traits, anything which may be used in combat is considered an ability, which would include the no scent thing. However, Alien Appearance can apply now if you'd like. I'd just please like you to clarify that those are part of the racial description and not part of the actual character sheet at the moment.

Please edit your original post to incorporate these changes, and if you have any concerns about them, we can discuss!

Chaplain
10-06-13, 05:09 PM
I can clarify the shield portion. When I wrote it, I forgot there were level differences. So that point I'm fine with adding.

I thought of 8 shots in total because of the fact that just to drop an opponent I'd need to use half or more of my shots. I figured most characters in the story would rationally duck for cover as they saw the conduit pointed at them, so in theory, they'd easily be able to avoid the shots. Not to mention added abilities that increase speed or agility on other characters that I may fight. The shield ability would be utterly useless if I drop the number of shots to the number it took to incapacitate, so I might as well not use the character at all at that point. I'm fine with moving the teleportation to when I gain more levels for that to be acceptable.

I'm not sure if it can be done, but if I do add additional skills for aiming her conduit I'd like to keep my other skills as well. The main reason I did this, and I forgot to mention it in the skill "Damaged Psyche", she doesn't look like she aims, she just fires off in the direction of the target (Mainly because the size of the area she "cracks" is 2-ft in circumference. I can adjust the Damaged Psyche to go like that.

The racial traits I'll go and write in that these aren't apart of my current character. I had asked you about this same issue earlier before submitting and you just said leave it at the bottom (so I'm not taking fault for something you told me.) I do intend on adding more racial abilities that future users who use this same class can take from as well.

Luned
10-06-13, 05:40 PM
I thought of 8 shots in total because of the fact that just to drop an opponent I'd need to use half or more of my shots. I figured most characters in the story would rationally duck for cover as they saw the conduit pointed at them, so in theory, they'd easily be able to avoid the shots. Not to mention added abilities that increase speed or agility on other characters that I may fight. The shield ability would be utterly useless if I drop the number of shots to the number it took to incapacitate, so I might as well not use the character at all at that point. I'm fine with moving the teleportation to when I gain more levels for that to be acceptable.

Keep in mind that you're a first level character, starting out at the bottom is part of the incentive to level up. Because teleportation was the strongest ability in there, taking it out does allow for more wiggle room. I can allow for an extra shot in that case, so you can incapacitate someone as well as use one shield. That way, you may have 5 shots which each drain about a quarter of an average human's energy (emphasis on the normal human being bit, they may be less effective on some characters depending on their own abilities).


I'm not sure if it can be done, but if I do add additional skills for aiming her conduit I'd like to keep my other skills as well. The main reason I did this, and I forgot to mention it in the skill "Damaged Psyche", she doesn't look like she aims, she just fires off in the direction of the target (Mainly because the size of the area she "cracks" is 2-ft in circumference. I can adjust the Damaged Psyche to go like that.

You can add as many skills as you'd like, it's fine to change that if you want. It's up to you how the casting appears to other characters, I'm just concerned with how it directly affects them.


The racial traits I'll go and write in that these aren't apart of my current character. I had asked you about this same issue earlier before submitting and you just said leave it at the bottom (so I'm not taking fault for something you told me.) I do intend on adding more racial abilities that future users who use this same class can take from as well.

I'm not putting fault on you, I'm just politely requesting clarification so that the format isn't confusing to people who are looking over your profile for information on your character. If you take out teleportation, though, you can use the racial trait we discussed being an ability before, so in that case it wouldn't matter anymore.

Chaplain
10-06-13, 05:55 PM
I can do that. I just go in and edit the post to do this all though, correct? And what would be an example of an ability that would make it take more shots from me to knock them out?

Luned
10-06-13, 07:03 PM
Yes, just edit your original post, and post again in here to let me know when you've finished. I'm not sure what you mean by that second question, rephrase?

Also, just to keep things kosher, could you please describe the material of the pistol as steel equivalent or lesser? Just in case she feels like pistol-whipping (er, wand-whipping?) or some such. ; )

Chaplain
10-06-13, 10:51 PM
The thing with Jakey is its the pistol from the story. So I will edit his description to be more thorough. You said that certain characters have abilities that could up their energy amount or endurance taking more shots from my character to beat. I was wondering what something like that would look like.

I'll also try updating tomorrow at the earliest. I just got a crap ton of stuff piled up on me and am going to have a hard time getting to some things.

Luned
10-06-13, 11:05 PM
It's possible to give a character enhanced endurance, just as a basic ability, which is just one example that could make an energy draining attack less effective (assuming it means they have more energy than a normal person). Same thing with magic resistance.

Max Dirks
11-14-13, 09:09 AM
Since Luned got promoted, I'll be taking over. Let's make this short and sweet.

With "Cracked Reality Alter," I'm fine with leaving your drain by touch with a two foot circumference range. If you're able to project it 70 yards, though, that projectile can only be baseball sized to start. You can make it larger and/or farther at level ups. I'll also need you to describe the effect of the drain some other way. As it's written now, a single cast drains 1/4 of the character's lifeforce, which is too strong (particularly if you're attacking, say, a level 15 character). Please describe the effects that a single connection might have (i.e. drowsiness, fatigue, reduced reflexes) then leave vague language like "multiple connections may lead characters to become incapacitated." This vague language indicates that the effect of the spell is cumulative, but does not force a character who accepts the hits to die (or be incapacitated) after 4 strikes.

With "Cracked Reality Shield," I need you to edit what the shield can take in terms of something tangible (e.g. pounds of force, types of attacks, etc.) You'll find that some level 4 characters are much stronger than others. You could also compare it to something tangible (e.g. the spell acts like an iron shield).

Finally, please edit your racial trait to indicate that those with increased perception would be able to "smell" your character.

Make these changes and I'll happily approve you. Thanks for being patient and I'm glad your back. I like your character a lot.

Chaplain
11-14-13, 03:31 PM
Max, the racial trait part isn't on the current character. Its a set of traits that CAN be taken by anyone who decides to tag along with me in the creation and adventures of a "Cracked" Being. I was going to do a full thread post eventually that goes into more detail and also offers more specific terms as well as an added variety of racial traits. And I'll gladly change the rest.

Max Dirks
11-14-13, 04:00 PM
Alright, that looks good.

Approved!