[Wager/Exp&Gold] The Ace of Fortunes.

[Sabatykos Maelstrom]

(Open to first taker. Note this is a Wager battle. I am betting 100 EXP and 200 Gold that I can beat your work. I prefer people level 0-2 thank you very much.)

Sabatykos was in the process of training.

Though young, he'd already lived a lifetime of adventures in the halls of The Citadel. Now though, he craved something more. With his eyes narrowed, the serious lad walked up to The Citadel after working up the proper nerves. The act of combat still made him hesitate and and he was attempting to work past his own fears. Violence was a natural way of life in that backwards world called Althanas. Sabatykos knew that for those capable of surpassing their own limitations and fears, great rewards awaited. Sabatykos looked at the great arches of The Citadel's edifice, it was just the front portion of the massive building. From experience, Sabatykos knew the building was a layered structure. It had various floors and many side passages that went off in every distinct direction possible. He looked up at the arches for a moment, pre Demon War design. Architecture of that magnitude always fascinated the hybrid.

With his eyes narrowed, he took a deep breath.

He wore different attire than normal that day, and was dressed for the prospect of adventure. Normally one who dressed in relatively simplistic attire, Sabatykos wore an actual adventurer's outfit. He wore a simple cloak that swished with his movements, colored a deep brown color. There were no marks on the back of the cloak of any kind. His acts were his own and would not be blamed on any organization or faction. He wore a simple green cap, tilted gently to one side. His pants were baggy, plain denim. He wore black leather boots that were meticulously cleaned. They were almost shiny and appeared good as new. Sabatykos had a medium build, his black tanktop reflected that build. He kept his gear with him in top condition. However, he left his primary weapons with the monks of the order. This was a battle for survival. He wanted to see how quickly he could think on his feet.

Sabatykos wore simple black gloves. They were engineer's gloves. He wore a full beard those days, and was considerably older than the last time he ventured into The Citadel League's halls. He felt the first pulses of his heart beating rapidly. The pulse made him feel a crazy sense of adrenalin burning through his vessel. He closed his eyes and relished in the rush of blood. The sensation was euphoric, and he savored it for a full five minutes. For a brief moment, he swore he could have heard The Citadel league's combatants even from his position in the main gathering hall. Groups of people were about, combatants, and spectators admiring their favorite competitor. Sabatykos looked at the registration area after feeling his muscles bulging almost to bursting point. He felt his body develop a crazy tension that was the sign that he was ready for combat.

Walking towards the registration area with a quick step, Sabatykos looked at the monks working at a huge oak desk. The desk could accommodate several monks at one time allowing them to do their humble job easier. Sabatykos got the attention of one of the monks and smiled at them gently. In essence, the youth was a good lad. He was there not to cause wanton violence, or take the life of those around him in a crazed berserker state. No. He was there for an entirely other purpose: the desire to train and improve one's own current skill level.

It was humble, simple men wanted simple things.

"Ah. Welcome to The Citadel Leagues." The registration area monk introduced the purpose of the building he was in. Clearly, they did not recognize Sabatykos the man. The knew him in his youth, but it had been many years since last he walked those walls. "What can I do for you today? Are you here to gamble, spectate a match, or perhaps, you're here to participate in actual combat?" The monk asked.

"It's been a while Morris, hasn't it?" Sabatykos recognized the monk, he too had gotten older. The monk's reaction made Sabatykos smile for he clearly did not recognize the engineer yet. "Maelstrom's the house. Sabatykos is my name." Sabatykos had an air of confidence in his voice, he spoke with a deep foreigner's accent.

It still didn't register after a full minute passed, and then the monk, Morris, finally realized who he was talking to. "The hybrid right!? How many years it's been mi'boy!?"

"Too long, Morris." Sabatykos looked at his old handler. "I see they made you a desk jockey now?" Sabatykos asked.

"Couldn't be helped. "There was a civil war while you were away. I got injured during the fiercest of the battles. I took an arrow through the knee..." The monk named Morris scowled at the mention of his old injury. The one that made him retire from active service.

"Sorry to hear that Morris, you were always a highly skilled warrior. I thought about apprenticing under you for a long time." Sabatykos said.

"I would have taken you, boy." Morris stood up and shook Sabatykos's hand. "It's been FAR too long. How many years now? What, TEN!?" Morris asked.

"Was fifteen or so the first time I entered the halls of this place." Sabatykos said. "Barely old enough to hold a sword. But now..." Sabatykos felt a shadow touch his heart. He ignored it. Then he looked at Morris. "I am here to discuss a business proposition."

"Go on." Morris said, getting right down to it.

"I'm here to participate in combat training. Furthermore, I'd like to set up a wager match." Sabatykos grew very serious at that point.

"Wager match? What kind of stakes you putting down?" Morris asked.

"I want to place this amount." Sabatykos put down a small pouch of previously counted, two hundred gold pieces. "They can meet my bet or pass it, I don't care which. But they better put money on the table."

"What else you wanna wager?" Morris asked as he looked at the money pouch, setting aside somewhere safe.

"That's it. The gold and a portion of my other rewards I normally get from battle. This specific amount." He gave Morris a note with the predetermined experience amount. Morris stashed both items away after investigating Sabatykos's request.

"Done. I will notify your opponent. Does the arena matter?" Morris asked.

"Actually...I would like to fight in..." After he was done describing the arena of the match, Sabatykos added one more stipulation. "No death's pleased. I'm not blood thirsty, and I'm not looking to fight one of them blood thirsty types either."

"Done." Morris said. "And Sabatykos...good fortune."

Sabatykos waved his hand in a relaxed gesture, and walked over to his designated combat chamber. Chamber number seven, on the first floor area of The Citadel.

(Note: I am betting 200 Gold+100 Exp. I expect you to match or pass the bet, we'll work from there. I am looking for a Non-PK match and I am allowing you the right to describe whatever arena you see fit. If you want in on this match, just post and we'll get underway. I am looking for an epic battle to be this character's return thread. I prefer level 0-2 range ONLY. Thank you for understanding.)

[Krausus]

Sirius, tall, tanned, pretty good looking all in all. Excluding the black band of cloth that surrounded his eye sockets. His eyes, long ago had been burned out of his head by a former friend of his. Krausus, the Fire Magus. Yet he regretted none of it. Eventually he would embrace it fully. At least right now he had shadows to rely on… He strode into the Citadel, his crimson hair mussed, with a hat jammed on it.He walked up to an old wooden desk, asking for any opponent. He was given a sheet of paper, then sent over to a set of doors set back a bit farther than the rest. He looked to a young man behind a stone counter

“Your opponent wishes for you to build the arena yourself…” He said, nodding over to room 7

"Well, this will sound demanding, so bear with me… Make it new, a large model of the Althanas solar system, with the stars and rocks and planets acting as platforms. We can only stand on the platform 5 minutes, excluding the central one, which can only be used in the case of the word 'Archmagnus' is used by both of us within five minutes, in which case, all platforms turn incorporeal, for 10 seconds after 5 minutes pass. Clear?"

The boy nodded over to room seven, where a man stood, looking to be about six foot. Fit. Well rounded. He strode over to the door, with Sirius in tow."And you are?" Sirius asked as he fell in next to him.

[Sabatykos Maelstrom]

It was glorious. For a moment, reality filtered as he stepped into the combat chamber. When the flicker effect was over what he saw next surprised even him. However, it was definitely a welcome surprise. His eyes narrowed carefully as they adjusted. He was standing on a miniature adaptation of Althanas, the planet, as it rotated endlessly about it's celestial brothers. Sabatykos looked around and saw the various worlds of the Althanas solar system moving about in their own cycle. The grandest adaptation of the circle of life, and it's largest of scales. He wondered what kind of a man would make him fight in such an environment, and soon, a question disturbed the stillness of the virtual space.

Sabatykos turned to look at the man before him carefully. Destined to be a sparring partner, Sabatykos tried to put on as friendly a demeanor as possible. He looked at Sirius very carefully and nodded politely. "Sabatykos Maelstrom." He responded to the question after a moment or two passed. "Interesting choice of arenas, you are no mere man if you know of such matters as complex as this. Tell me, how did you find out about the nature of space and science?" Sabatykos was curious. His people, Saenorakym Prime, were scientists and explorers at heart. They were a space faring race and it was no wonder that a bunch of them ended up on Althanas proper. "I always like learning about other cultures and other peoples. We need not be savages in this place whilst we train. We can become friends." Sabatykos said honestly. Through it all, Sabatykos had remained a good man and had not let anything deter him from his chosen path. "You may take first strike, sir." Sabatykos said.

[Krausus]

With a quick flick of his wrist, Sirius grabbed his half gloves from his coat pocket and shove it on before grabbing his swords. He smiled at the opponent.

"Sirius, Blind Swordsman. Pleasure." He said this with sincerity, and stuck out his gloved right hand. Before stabbing his sword into a stationary star, and tilting his head slowly.

"Im rather fond of the cosmos. With my lack of sight and all, a source of never ending space. A place where you can explore indefinitely? It fascinates me..."

He took up his sword again, and stepped onto a platform, as the other man did te same.

"ALSO! We can only stand on these for 5 minutes!"

He yelled this as he jumped onto a few platforms, rushing towards Sabatykos like an arrow. But he stopped in mid stride, and unleaded a burst of gold lightning, flying true, yet slow enough to dodge.

"This seems to be the price of now battling in a while..."

[Sabatykos Maelstrom]

Time flowed a bit different for Sabatykos.

He didn't think in terms of seconds and minutes, he thought more in terms of impulses. His natural instinct to survive came quickly to him. He kept his eyes immediately on his opponent as the battle began in the star ocean. Each of the platforms were mobile and could support Sabatykos's weight. He smiled knowing that the monks would not dare let him go down so easily. He drew two iron daggers quickly, one in each hand and moved into an elegant combat stance. Sabatykos could fight with a dual wielded finesse, and preferred things that way. He could easily alternate between his daggers and his broadsword. For the beginning portion of the battle, he wanted to see exactly how skilled his opponent was.

One thing that Sabatykos noticed was that his opponent was quite agile. I won't have to hold back. Sabatykos thought to himself as he prepared to maneuver at his best reflexive capacity which was impressive. Sabatykos was a competitor at heart, and he wanted to win the battle. He'd come searching for his own glory. Then his opponent did something that caught Sabatykos somewhat off guard. He is using some sort of an energy projectile... Sabatykos thought to himself. The darkness of space, accentuated by the winking stars, seemed to cast an eerie glow on the golden energy. Since Sabatykos had no prior knowledge of his opponent's trick, he was caught relatively easily. The attack volley came in at relatively close range. Sabatykos took it dead on.

When it did hit him however, he felt something that he would later greatly regret. An image touched his mind, an image he had not thought about for a long time. It was warped and twisted however, by the magic that his opponent possessed. Though Sabatykos was not weak by any means, he had no way to ward off the effects of Sirius's attack. Sabatykos growled as the image that horrified and tormented him swelled through his mind. Sabatykos had few regrets in his life, but the image that the bolt chose to torment him with was particularly potent. The inventor clutched his head as he saw the scene unfolding before him. It had left him vulnerable to attack, but he held his daggers in a deathgrip even as he clutched at either side of his head. He growled angrily.

Sabatykos attempted to get things together with passing moments. Soon, he saw the platform that he was on begin to flicker. Still in agony, Sabatykos managed to jump UPWARDS, sheathing his daggers, and grabbed the edge of the platform immediately above him. He pulled his way up and on top of the platform. His mind swirling with the images of past regrets. Shadows and ghosts of the past that would not leave him be and opted to torment the inventor. He kept attempting to shrug off the effects of the bolt of energy, but it seemed to persist. His vast mind made the attack much more potent than normal, as he had many ghosts that he clung to from the past.

[Krausus]

With a flourish, Sirius spun to the left, jumping to an adjacent platform, his coat flapping as he did so, he chuckled at the man grimacing, with a painful memory, or sheer force of will imposed upon him. He landed, hard on the stone disc, but instead of giving into pain, he stood up, his eyes like steel, his hair as if a blazing fire raged upon his head. His shadowy sight, what he lived by, showed nothing of the dazzling lights, and echoing sounds in the chamber, where the vacuum of space did not exist, for the fear of the combatants dying before they even fought.

“Know this Sabatykos, I am no force to be trifled with, and you cannot stop me. But I say this. Act as if you are the rock in the raging sea, standing the test of time. You cannot, and will not fall. Face an onslaught of power, be it magic or might, reinforce your mind. For a fire is tamed, and a blade is broken, but the mind, is only destroyed....”

He said this in a voice as if thunder, and took his blades in hand once more from where he had laid them upon the ground. Sirius Willfire, man of broken eye, yet mind of stone. The smart flee before him. His swords, as if they were torches, glowed gold, and his body, as steel stood in the center of the platform, before leaping up to a platform above him, to face his opponent in true battle. He shrugged off the aching pain in his shoulders from the landing on the platform, and cracked his neck. He then said, in that booming voice of his.

“Come, young warrior, for you have yet to strike, and I, grow bored...”

[Sabatykos Maelstrom]

Sabatykos recovered, at least partially. The pain still lingered, he shook his head a few times. His opponent made some gibberish comments, probably just to boost his own ego. Then, he covered the distance between the two of them. Sabatykos was already preparing his attack. Summoning the energy from his Saenorakym Prime symbols. His arms began to glow with an extremely potent energy presence. As he focused, the glow became brighter, and Sabatykos willed the energy to his hands despite the pain he still felt. "Bored...huh...? I'll make you regret those words." Sabatykos said with a harder edge than he previous had earlier. The pain had made Sabatykos think about things he had not in a very long time, and it put the young inventor on edge. It made him FOCUS. A Saenorakym Prime that FOCUSED was indeed a dangerous opponent.

With the backdrop of the star ocean all around him, Sabatykos's glowing body added an almost ethereal quality to the warrior. He pointed his left hand towards Sirius and concentrated his WILL with one singular purpose. I will return the favor to this man for harming me in such a way. Sabatykos was not a violent person in nature, but he would at least repay the favor.

The energy gathered around his hand in the form of a weapon. A beam weapon. Sabatykos launched the energy with his will power in an impressive display of will power. The beam weapon was launched from his left hand, specifically, his palm. The beam weapon flew towards Sirius, he aimed it directly at Sirius's chest. From what he saw the man was lightly armored, and his beam weapon would be able to cause at least SOME damage if it connected. Sabatykos concentrated, fueling his raw emotion into the attack. The beam weapon was pure Ki, and the ki was channeled as a blast of holy energy. Sabatykos aimed, and concentrated as he launched the attack. He was hoping it would connect with his opponent. If it did, he would prepare his next few attacks even as the platforms all around him began to fade in and out in periodic cycles.

A passing shooting star swirled overhead, catching Sabatykos's eye. It did not destract him from the task at hand. It simply served as inspiration for him. Sabatykos felt the energy crackling from his hand, it was warm and radiant. It pierced through the darkness of space like a hot knife through butter. The beam was quick and could cover a lot of ground. Sabatykos knew the nature of his beams were solid objects, and it could possibly serve as a battering ram when applied. He liked the idea of that. For now, he was simply attempting to knock Sirius off the platform so they could start getting on the move. He says he's bored, I'll be certain that he never says those words again. Sabatykos thought as he attacked. He wielded energy as weapons, he would not need to fall back on his physical daggers if need be.

He would exhaust himself BEFORE his opponent ever saw him coming, he was a surprise you see.

They never saw Sabatykos until it was too late.

[Krausus]

Sirius had been focusing on everything but his opponent when the beam lashed out to him, pure energy searing his flesh as he tried to get back, but instead knocking him precariously off the platform, and he held on by his fingertips. The slow burn of his chest throbbed along to the beating of his heart as an otherworld boom emitted from one of the planets becoming a blinding supernova. Sabtykos stumbled back, his platform starting to go transparent but leaped away in time to land on another, circling a planet just above an asteroid.

"You know what my problem is?" Sirius laughed as he heaved himself up back to a platform, clutching his chest. "I talk too much..." He smiled and shook his head, freeing the black cloth band that protected what remained of his eyes, that scorched, burnt mass, that smelled of fallen leaves. he shook his head, and sat down on the edge, looking out upon the void, filled with stars and planets, blazing with a glory unbeknownst to almost all of the population of the world he currently inhabited, it was all shadow, but the sight was still worth living for....

"It's beautiful, in a cosmic sense, this cycle that is life and death... I've lived hundreds of lives.... And yet, still feel like I haven't lived it for a reason yet. Always took my trip to the Hells and back, never bothering to look behind me, and coming back, spry and new. Almost a year since my last life. Which is sad, considering that I only changed the name and a few powers. "

He chuckled at the fact that as he thought about it, the fact that this was probably the most he'd ever say to a man without trying to kill him a few minutes later. "A life for a life" he thought most times, but, it was never true, it was his horrid sense that murder was justified. In some misshapen time maybe.

He gazed out upon the cosmos, the bright white lights, and the colors, the pain and virtue, and the final glimpse of life as it truly was, in it's flaming glory."Sabytykos, might I ask how it looks to you?" He asked as he tied the blindfold back in place and rubbed his chest where the beam had hit him, feeling a hole in the shirt he wore. A slow heat emanated from it, and once more, if one were to look at it, it glowed a slight orange, and he smiled.

[Sabatykos Maelstrom]

Glowing energy dissipated from Sabatykos's hands and body in general.

His aura flared up around him and he took a deep breath. It was not his intention to KILL Sirius outright, he was certain he'd explained that to the monks from the beginning of the battle. Sabatykos walked towards Sirius, and suddenly extended a hand forward to the man. "How does it look?" Sabatykos repeated. "It looks like you need to pay more attention to your opponent." Sabatykos chuckled. He sincerely LIKED Sirius, and was grateful that the monks placed him in a match against that fellow. Sabatykos kept his hand held in the same position for Sirius to take his hand and get help standing up. "If you wish to continue our spar, let me know. I made it explicit to the monks that no terminations would be allowed." Sabatykos said carefully. "If you wish to continue we can for a while longer." Sabatykos added. "You're a good man. Beneath all that rashness, I can tell you are basically just looking for your purpose in life. Allow me to help you with that. Maybe what you could use this time, is a friend." Sabatykos suggested. He smiled calmly as he waited for Sirius's reaction. Sabatykos was a good man, most Saenorakym Prime were.

He knew the difference between right and wrong. He was raised that way, and cold blooded murder was just not Sabatykos's cup of tea. He was a pacifist, and simply was there in The Citadel to learn more about combat. He wanted to increase his knowledge of the mysterious powers his people used. But also, he too, wanted to find a purpose. Every battle he would go through, would take him a step closer towards that purpose.

[Krausus]

It was as if the cosmos themselves hummed along to the throbbing ache that was the void where a friend should be in Sirius' soul. Strange really how a man comes to think of that when he just got half burnt to cinders by an otherworldly beam of molten energy from some long lost sun in a far away galaxy. Funny almost.

"Ya know, Sabatykos, i honestly think this is the most fun i've had in a long while, we should get together sometime. Next week on one of the Salvarian mountains perhaps?"

Sirius said this in the direction of his "opponent" as he backflipped, rather neatly for a man with little to no sight and a mass of blackened flesh where his eyes ought to be. Yet as he landed, the swords on his back, set there a few minutes before as he recovered from the injury, started wobbling, being pulled towards the mass of undulating solar energy, filled with inherent power. As this happened, the platform below him started wavering in and out of the physical realm.

Out of everything, this was a new sensation, being pulled towards a star. Quite exhilarating really. But as he struggled against it, a slow murmur sounded in the background, the sounds of thirteen voices, each different in a very strange, unplaceable way, echoed through the arena, and they each came with a distinct glow upon the many platforms on the outermost regions of the battleground. Sirius tuned into their quiet tone, rolling with the movement of the stars, the comets and the planets, as if thunder following a strike of lightning. That was when the thought dawned on him, a brash one, but one that may result in a draw, not both of them being burnt to interstellar ash.

"Sabatykos, i ask you this ow, send every ounce of what power you have left into a beam to incinerate at least four of these monks. "

He shouted, trying to fight the gravity now yanking him towards the edge of the rocky platform he stood upon, and with a smile, he jumped back, unleashing another blast of Will Fire, hitting one monk square in the chest, sending him flying back, grasping at his head as the darkest of his memories came to the forefront of his current thoughts. It was a simply beautiful sight, and one of great learning too, as he found out that these monks did in fact have physical forms and they weren't some power that had immense control over minds and was able to project the illusion of human form unto the mortal plane of thought.

And at that same second, the gentle breeze of voices became a wind, and a gale, rolling around in ever quickening thunder, striking out at the one who would harm the men who hosted him, one who they created a very, very nice arena for.

At that second, the cosmos shook in fear.

[Sabatykos Maelstrom]

For the briefest of moments, Sabatykos lost sight of himself and of the situation.

Sirius asked the young warrior to physically harm a monk in cold blood. For a situation that he did not understand. Sabatykos didn't make sense of any of it. I just wanted a friend... Sabatykos thought to himself in a disheartened sort of way. Good men had honest dreams and hopes. Sabatykos fancied himself a good man. He looked as Sirius fell to his apparent death, but the shadowy figures in the inky ichor of the black beyond had other plans. Sabatykos waved his hand in the power gesture that would signal the end of the match. The contract of the match had been breached, but not by he. Another time...another day... Sabatykos thought on the invitation that Sirius had offered. Perhaps I shall meet you again in Salvar then...perhaps... He did not mind traveling around. Adventurers like he oft traveled.

He had no recollection of ever being in Salvar. So that would be a promising endeavor on his behalf. He would likely take Sirius's invitation. In a moment, the arena of the lovely cosmos wavered. In that wavering effect, Sabatykos took a deep breath. Afterwards, the youth once again found himself in the large Citadel chamber where it all began. He felt himself cooling down from the battle, and his white-hot temper swelled to a minor numbed sensation. He looked over at Sirius's general direction.

"I cannot wield harm against the order." Sabatykos said. "I have no quarrel with you, Sirius. Please, be at peace my friend." Sabatykos figured that something in the last few moments of the bout had drove Sirius to a fit of rage. Sabatykos assumed that the fellow wasn't thinking straight an needed a drink or three to cool down. A monk walked up to Sabatykos and tended to the boy's injuries.

"Are you well, young master?" Sabatykos heard the monk ask.

"I have been better, I could use some treatment for my injuries." Sabatykos said firmly, but politely. "I thank you for the very valuable experience. Please be kind to Sirius." Sabatykos continued. "That is all I ask."

Sabatykos walked alongside the monk and left the chamber, heading over to the medical ward.

"How did you enjoy your first wager match?" Sabatykos heard the monk ask.

"It was interesting..." Sabatykos did not finish his words out loud. I learned a lot and possibly made a friend. Sabatykos and his people were loyal to their allies. Sabatykos would not treat Sirius any different. "Master monk, I will need some assistance from your Scholars." Sabatykos said. "I will need all the information you can spare me about Salvar from your public resources."

"Salvar...?" Sabatykos heard the monk question. "Of course, right away. Once you are treated we will ready a few manuscripts for your tutelage." Sabaytkos noticed that the monk seemed eager to teach Sabatykos about the foreign land.

"Of course." Sabatykos responded. "I would also need to gather some resources to make a trip out there. For that I will need work. Steady work..." Sabatykos said.

"A trip to Salvar?" Sabatykos listened as the monk stopped walking for a moment. "Well there is a group of missionaries from my order that make the pilgrimage to Salvar several times a year...one such pilgrimage is coming up. Perhaps you can join them in their journey...?"

Sabatykos nodded. "I would like that." [i]Sirius did say a week, but it would take time for Sabatykos to prepare for his journey, time, a plan and resources. Sabatykos walked with the monk towards the medical ward and prepared to allow the monks to work their healing arts on his person. Thoughts of the cold north and it's secrets danced in his mind...

~FIN~

[Krausus]

With the passing storms, calm arrived, allowing growth and change. But these storms were different, ones of mental force, filled with immense power, and ones that were capable of making anything, and anything in all of it' glory into the reality in which we live. Yet these beings seemed to be of unlimited power, they were humans, and therefore, had bodies of their own in which they carried out their magics. And one had challenged that magic. They would bring down the retribution of a thousand gods unto him.
-----
As the arena slowly dissipated, Sirius fell to the floor in a heap, clutching his head as a voice pounded at the outer fringes of his sanity.

"Sirius, you have asked for something that Sabatykos is not capable of, in any way. For this, you must be punished. And for that, I give you this. “A monk yelled in his head.

At that, a flash of light, and a single speck of darkness rolled in the front of Sirius eyes, which were slowly, yet steadily glowing, no longer charred masses, no longer unseeing orbs of flesh and nerve. They were becoming glowing lights, a cool red, like a flickering fire. His blindfold fell off and he fell backward, grasping at his eye sockets, the now dimming light that mistily glowed, forming color and shape, quickly giving him what he had lacked for so many years, so many lifetimes.

"I give you sight, but I also give you the capability to see the nightmares of this world, and I hereby punish you for harming us with this curse and boon."

Yet as the monk said this, a slow pressure build up behind his forehead and Sirius gasped in pain as a memory darker than the soul he harbored surfaced. It was one of extreme sadness, and one of anger beyond belief, when he had been blinded by that dragon mage, that horror that should have never existed in this realm in the first place. Once more, a presence built up in his mind and said, in a tone that was barely a whisper.

"I am full of sadness four you, last kinsman of the Willfire line, but your path has gone astray. You have chosen a life of a much darker caliber and I harbor no doubt that you could change that with a simple sentence. That is all it would take to mend the ever widening rift between you and your newfound friend."

Sirius nodded, his face downcast, reflecting emotions beyond human comprehension, ones of doubt, yet of happiness, and anger, yet holding pain that has lasted over three hundred year, and going back thousands, through his bloodline, up from the day that the abilities to impose the negative emotions of one person on many, or another. It was hated for so long, yet accepted as the tap flowed into this world. Strange, how it worked. Yet this man stood up slowly, rising to his feet, and bowed to the stone walls, a smile spreading across his face, and he walked out, with a newfound love for something else in this world.

"I thank you Master Monk, now, I have an appointment on a mountaintop to keep.” He said to the air in front of him, to nobody in peculiar. With that, he strode out of the Citadel, a changed man, in more than one way....

[Quentin Boone]

Thread Title: The Ace of Fortunes (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?26053)
Judgment Type: Full Rubric
Participants: Sabatykos Maelstrom vs Krausus



Plot: 14 --- 16

Story- 6/10---5/10
Both of you crafted a good story from the battle; it alluded to the past and gave openings for future development. Both of you missed out on a higher score here due to the fact that there was no clear climax to the tale.

Sabatykos wins out here because his character's story felt better connected to his past.

Setting- 5/10---6/10
While the setting was an interesting one, it wasn't really brought to life throughout the thread. There was a scant intial description that gave a good impression, but neither writer really immersed the reader in what could have been a rich, activity-full encvironment. It's important to remember that setting isn't just what you can see, it's also what you hear, smell, touch and taste.

Krausus wins out here due to interacting more with the setting and using it to progress the story, especially towards the end when the sun's gravity started to affect his character.

Pacing- 3/10---5/10
Although the thread itself moved at a reasonable pace overall, you both suffered hits here due to problems with mechanics and clarity, as will be discussed below. On the plus side, the thread didn't stagnate or feel too rushed as a whole and reached a solid conclusion in a natural way.

Sabatykos, you lost here in part due to your introduction. The information dump you provided slowed things down a lot, and the change in pace thereafter was a little jarring. A slower pace is fine, if maintained throughout; The info dump would have been better served spread throughout the thread to keep your pacing conistent. You also lost an additional point due to your introduction's use of OOC constructs. While the idea of a wager match for gold fits into the setting of Althanas and the Citadel, mentioning EXP in an IC sense really jarred the reader. It had already been mentioned in your OOC comments, so there was need to include it ICly.



Character: 14 --- 13

Communication- 5/10---5/10
Both of you used communication well. It moved the story and helped give it purpose. Additionally, the communication did a good job of showing your characters' personalities.

A higher score could have been achieved by using more in-depth communication to show the 'relationship' between your characters. Body language is just important a communication tool as speech.

Action-5/10---4/10
Your actions mostly seemed to fit with your characters and you showed good tactics in the battle itself. Props are given for both of you taking a hit. Higher points would have been awarded if you'd included more little details that would add colour and real life to your characters' interactions.

Krausus lost points here due to bunnying; however minor, bunnying is not allowed without permission, especially in a battle.

Persona- 4/10---4/10
Sabatykos: While you did a good job in showing your character's personality and unwillingness to truly engage in the fight due to his pacifistic nature, there was a glaring issue with consistency. In your introduction you describe Sabatykos developing an anger and tension in preparation for the fight, and at the end mention this fading. But throughout the fight, there's no sign whatsoever of it. Instead, Sabatykos was portrayed as calm and collected, which was very much at odds with the information provided to the reader.

Krausus: You did a good job of conveying your character's regret and feeling that something was missing. Aside from this, however, it would have been nice to see how he felt in reaction to the events of the battle. Most importantly, there was no real reaction to your character's sight being returned to him: This was a key moment in the battle and your character's story, but it felt as though he hardly even noticed it.

Both of you lost points here due to the inaccurate representation of the Ai'Bron monks: They are a pacifistic order and do not participate in the Citadel themselves; they simply operate it and administer healing after bouts. As such, referring to one as an old warrior was inaccurate; and the punishment given to Krausus at the end of the thread was completely against everything they stand for.



Prose: 12 --- 11

Mechanics- 4/10---3/10
Both of you lacked here and there were multiple problems. Typoes and spelling errors were prevalent throughout the thread and most would have been caught with a spell checker. Grammatical errors were also common in both of your posts. If you want more detailed feedback on this, please feel free to PM me.

Krausus loses here simply due to the fact he had several run-on sentences, whereas Sabatykos did not.

Clarity- 5/10---4/10
Mechanics hurt you both here, as it was difficult at times to really get the gist of what was happening. The comments about Setting also factored into your scores here: Without proper descriptions of the setting and your characters' interactions within it, it was very difficult to clearly place your characters and how they moved throughout the arena.

Krausus loses here due to the way he kept picking up weapons that had been dropped - it was unclear exactly when these were dropped or how so left the reader confused.

Technique- 3/10---4/10
In general there was a lack of techniques to add colour to the writing here. Both of you employed more of a 'tell rather than show' approach to your writing.

Krausus wins here due to using some imagery in his writing.

Sabatykos used emphasis on occasion, but it felt misplaced and jarred the reading a little.

Again, if either of you want specific feedback and examples here, feel free to PM me.



Wildcard: 4 --- 5
You both laid out an interesting tale that will hopefully progress into a solid friendship between the two characters. However, I'm docking a point from Sabatykos here purely due to the fact that it felt more like you were writing a T1 fight instead of a story for at least the first half of the thread.



Final Score: 44---45

Krausus (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?16909) Wins!:


750 EXP!
54 GP!

Congratulations!


Sabatykos Maelstrom (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?13956) Receives:


225 EXP!
27 GP!




Wager Modifications:

Krausus: +100 EXP, +200 GP

Sabatykos Maelstrom: -100 EXP, -200 GP



Final Rewards:

Krausus receives:

850 EXP
254 GP


Sabatykos Maelstrom
Receives:

125 EXP

And loses:

146 GP

[Lye]

EXP & GP Added!