On the Concept of Hatred [Archive]

BloodandBlades

11-08-13, 09:23 PM

OOC: We are allowed to bunny each other.

Fulgur pulled out his lightning blade and activated it so he could see at least a little inside the black. It was difficult keeping the lightning blade under control, so he moved very slowly. He could hear Ashla sigh impatiently behind him. She's such a complainer... Fulgur thought, annoyed at her always nerve jerking attitude. They kept walking through the darkness, with only a small amount of flickering blue light to guide them. The area around them only felt like a bunch of loose stones and boulders; from what they could see it was true. Brown, grey, and black stones crumbled all around them. Several large boulders sat on the ground, serving some support for for them to keep hold of as the rocks at their feet slide down the crooked path before them. Ashla's cat Fireleaf was also relying on the boulder for support, bounding from one to the other. The cat was still, as always, aggravatingly close to his mistress.

The air around them was stuffy. Due to lack of sunshine, this underground area almost seemed to have poison gasses in them. It was cold, yes, but extremely hard to breath enough oxygen to stay fully awake. The deeper they went, the more down hill they seemed to go, the harder it was for Fulgur not to fall asleep.

Just when Fulgur thought the tunnel would never end, they saw a beam of light shining through a rather small opening above. Fulgur discharged his blade and put it away, he forgot about the loose stones bellow and ran too quickly. He fell and began to fall down into a ditch at the bottom. For once he began to panic, "Wait! This wasn't supposed to happen! Wait!" He cried out in terror as he fell even deeper. adrenaline exploded into his body and made him even more frightened! He could barely see rocks falling around him. The unstable ground he barely stayed on still seemed very distant despite him hitting one or two ledges here and there. In reality, the fall wasn't that large at all, but it certainly felt like it to the wayward boy. He could briefly hear Ashla scream for him before a heavy rock hit his head and put him asleep.

Ashla

11-09-13, 10:28 AM

"Fulgur!" Ashla cried as her cousin fell down the rock slide. As he fell, dirt rose from the ground and corroded her vision. She covered her eyes and mouth as she fell into a coughing fit. She hoped that the dust would clear soon, but she soon realized how groggy she felt. There's some kind of poison in the air! She tried to hold her breath but just breathed some of the dust in. Even her vision was nothing but a large blur. She could see something faintly green in the form of fog. It smelled like garbage and chemicals flying up her sensitive nose. The dust floating in the air looked like blinding stars, damaging her sense of reality. She had enough. Ashla quickly resorted to using her family abilities. She allowed her skin to be coated with a thick layer of ice - the "Frost Armor" as Fulgur had told her during their travels. She couldn't move, but she was safe from the poisonous gasses swirling around them.

But what about Fulgur? She asked herself as she just waited. Before long she was pushed to her limits and she had to undo the cloak. Just then the gasses hit her nose again and she breathed it in. Just like that she fell into deep unconsciousness.

BloodandBlades

11-09-13, 10:56 AM

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Where am I?

~~~

Fulgur awoke from his sleep with the opening of his one, dark, blue eye. He blinked, it was way too bright to see anything. He continued to blink endlessly, trying to regain his vision. He then heard a somewhat familiar voice, "Fulgur? Wake up child, you're safe now."

"Am I?" Fulgur immediately asked as he began to see again. He could make out the figure of a man looking down on him. Fulgur couldn't make out who he was at all due to the fact that everything was extremely bright to him, but could feel his eyes burning his own. "Tell me," Fulgur asked, "Who are you?" Then suddenly, Ashla came to mind. "And where's Ashla?"

"Do not worry," He replied, "Your companion is as safe as you are, my old friend."

Fulgur blinked one last time and could finally see clearly. The man was rather old, probably in his sixties. His head was bald, but and grey-white hair grew as a small mustache and a barely visible beard. He had a round head and a round nose. His expression was kind and gentle, and his brown eyes showed nothing but an unusual thankfulness. His outfit consisted an ordinary, brown, leather jacket. He wore brown, heavy pants and had black boots on. The boots were hardly "black" anymore though, as they were covered with dust and dirt, similar story with the rest of his outfit. Despite the differences, once he had seen him Fulgur knew who he was exactly! "David? Is that you?" He felt his eye water.

"Aye, lad." David placed his wrinkled hand on the young man's shoulder, "I am."

Fulgur felt like screaming in vast joy! David had been his and the prince's caretaker, guardian, and teacher throughout their childhoods! Well- he was the prince's guardian. However, whenever Fulgur would come over with his father, David was as caring for him as his best friend. "David!" He hugged the aging man as he wept. His clothes smelled like soil and animal droppings, and his clothes were wrinkled. Despite everything though, he still carried the sent of fresh soap, as he had always been a clean-freak, and everything combined was so soothing to Fulgur's seneses. He closed his eyes, more tears flooding from his eye, "I-I thought you were-"

"-Dead?" David jumped in. Fulgur blinked, still in his old mentor's arms, "Well, I managed to escape... And so did your best friend's brother."

Fulgur broke their hold, his eye was puffy and pink. He shook a little in a mixture of love and relief, "You mean," Fulgur asked in surprise, "Zosimos?"

David chuckled, "Yes, my boy. I was able to save him from his family's massacre in quite the clever way." He turned to the door and yelled, "Zosimos, somebody would like to see you!"

Fuglur couldn't believe it, there were those who had survived the massacre? How? He blinked again and turned his head to the right. There, in the corner was another bed. And there slept Ashla. Fulgur sighed in relief and laid down again; he knew that as long as they were in David's care, they were safe.

Ashla

11-09-13, 11:18 AM

Ashla was slow to wake up. She just laid in bed awhile with her eyes closed, but eventually opened her eyes. A thin, white sheet covered her thin body, not smooth at all and covered with brown spots. A pillow stuffed with straw was her head's resting place; her hair half covering the pillow, half covering her head. She was in the corner of a room. The bed was made of strong pine wood (which looked like it had been chopped off the tree, no further work done other than being nailed and tide together) and had been pilled upon with straw as a make-shift mattress. The room's walls and ceiling was made of half-rotted red-wood. A rug made of rags was at the center of the dark room. Windows were at the north and west walls. They were big and rectangular, they had no glass to block out any bugs or dust. It was in the day and sunlight shone in on the dark, one room cabin she was in. A fireplace was in the center of the wall in front of her. Burnt, ashy wood were pilled up inside. The air was open and free, and the fresh smell of pine helped Ashla's senses to come alive. Ashla sighed and sat up.

"Ashla?" She heard a raspy voice from the other side of the room. She looked to see Fulgur laying down in a bed similar to her's. Ashla still felt spaced out, she sluggishly clenched her forehead and slowly asked "Where am I?"

"With an old friend." Fulgur replied her. His gaze was filled with a deep emotion she couldn't make out. Ashla stared at him for a moment then looked over to where the door was. It was at the same side of the room that she was at, she noticed a fairly old man at the door calling out, "Zosimos, somebody would like to see you!"

"H-Hello??" Ashla asked in surprise, sitting up straighter, "Who are you?"

The old man turned back to her kindly, "I am called by the name David, my friend." His tone was that of an old, wise man. His expression was filled with nothing but compassion and some sort of loyalty to her. Ashla blinked a couple times, this day was just getting weirder and weirder...

After he had said those words a young boy ran into the room, "Yes, sir?" Ashla had to admit that he looked a lot like her close friend Julius. The boy had long, black curls in his hair and had very fair skin. He had bright, brown eyes and a round nose. He wore very simple clothes. A long, white shirt and brown pants made of cloth. Despite the fairness of his skin, he was indeed very grubby. The boy seemed to be about six years old. Despite his young age, he carried a steel dirk. The dirk was in a leather sheath attached to a rope wrapped around his waist. He looked up at the elder man then to her. "Um, who are you??"

BloodandBlades

11-15-13, 07:57 PM

The boy glanced at Fulgur’s cousin. The last he had seen him he was only two years old! He was barely learning to talk and his skin was a bright fair and his eyes were child-like innocent. His eyes kept the same young innocence, but he was dirty and had very common clothes. His hair was curly, however it was browner than red now, and he hadn't washed it in days. His voice was surprisingly low, seemingly is strong distrust, but he still sounded very much his age. “Sir, wh-who are these people?”

David bent down to him, the boy's brief glare turned back into that of a basic young boy, “Child, these two are old friends of mine, Fulgur and Ashla Icebreaker.”

“Fulgur?!” The boy suddenly glanced everywhere, wide eyes depicting much fear, “Where?!”

Fulgur was suddenly confused; did the young boy actually remember him? If so, why was he so scared at the mention of his name? David chuckled; it was a chuckle meant to calm him down, it was not made by the natural light he had before. “Fulgur II, not the first.”

“You mention my father.” Fulgur interupted, “Why? Did he get all puffed up and ignore him or something before he died?”

David suddenly looked sad, “So you don’t know.”

Fulgur II felt butterflies flutter in his stomach, “Know what?” He tilted his head in confusion, his eye growing slightly wider.

“That your father is the one who ordered the massacre.”

The words hit him as hard as the hottest flames in the universe. His father was behind this? His own dad?? He couldn't believe this, he just couldn't! His father had loved him and took great pride in having such a great family. He and the Tabors were great friends; no way he would kill them all! He was going to speak, to see how David could explain these such lies he had created; but his head's constant swirling stopped him. His brain boomed inside his head heavily, and it was only getting worse. Why?! He had to keep asking himself, Why!?! In his mental stroke, he fainted.

Ashla

11-15-13, 08:21 PM

Ashla gasped once when she heard who was responsible for all of this so soon. She gasped again when her cousin fainted because of it. She jumped out of bed and raced to his bedside. She sighed and began to rub her thumb on his hand. She looked back up at David, her messy hair flying out of her face. David showed no other feelings but shame in his eyes. “His father did this?” Ashla asked, “My uncle?”

David shook his head in sorrow, “He killed them all.”

Ashla stood up, her face was in a small frown, her eyes reflecting a serious curiosity to such intense people who would ever do such things. She didn't yet know all the realities in the world, but she had still experienced them firsthand without a clue. It was silently creeping up on her childish soul; attempting to draw yet another enlightened innocent into the darkness. It was in desperation to haunt and destroy her, one way or the other. She never understood it. She felt the intensity, but not the shock itself. She had felt the pain, but had not yet taken much of a toll from it. She was still in the light somehow, she was an unexpected rebel in a world full of depression and pure sickness. - But for how long?

"Why?" Her words were an unusual bitter.

David sighed, "I- I have no idea... One night he- he just snapped and killed most of the royal family! I was able to save Zosimos, but I fear that the rest are all dead." He walked over to a pine table in another corner of the room. It was a short, rectangle table with several clay dishes all stacked on one of the edges. There was a clay cup with one, small daisy in it. It was basking in the sunlight and seeping through the windows. Despite what the poor conditions of the house was, it was still alive and staying strong. However, David seemed quite the opposite as he pulled one of the four oak chairs out from under the table and sat on it. It was a very simple chair with four legs and a seat. David sighed again, "I knew that Fulgur had survived as he had apparently locked himself in his father's mansion and nobody even knew until he decided to pop out one day and get out of Eiskalt. It was swift chase from what I had heard, Fulgur had fled in a flash."

Ashla walked over to the table, full of festive smells and occupied by one, strong, flower, basking in the undying sunlight. She pulled out another chair across from him; she sat down and listened to the old gentleman. She held her hands tightly together and placed them on the bright, brown table. Her hair desperately needed brushed and was ratty mess. Some came over her left eye, but her right eye was shining in painful sympathy of his misguided trust. Her dry hands felt like sand paper on the un-smooth table. It still had the bark on most of it except the table itself. The table had been made stable, but was still in bumpy disorder.

"I..." David sighed again then placed his elbows on the table and buried his face in the palms of his hands. "Oh..." He grieved, "I could have prevented at least some of this..."

Zosimos walked over though, "No, sir." His voice was small but brave, "You saved me. You saved the future heir of Eiskalt, so we all have some hope yet!"

Ashla was curious, "Zosimos," she inquired, "What exactly is this 'hope' you talk about? What's your plan?" She was hoping it would require not as much fighting and more of a peaceful solution to all of this; however, she would unfortunately see that a storm was coming on.

BloodandBlades

11-25-13, 07:17 PM

Fulgur blinked his eyes open, it was nighttime out. The stars twinkled outside, bringing a peaceful sense into the one room. It was freezing, even under the several sheets that engulfed over him. Fulgur sat up without making a sound. He looked over to the other bed. David and Zosimos slept together in the small bed. They too looked very cold. Fulgur once again, came to the fact that his own father had put them all here. Fulgur sighed, trying to get all of this pain off of his chest, but he couldn't. He stepped into the cold floor with bare feet. It was so cold, he began to even feel numb as the cold shot up his leg and spread through the rest of his body. He shuddered, then realized that he barely felt anything other than numb. Somehow his agony was so intense, he didn't even feel it.

Was this what it was like to be numb? Was this what it was like to be emotionless? Was this the first baby step to becoming a monster? Was this the birth pf endless hatred? It seemed to be an entire, untouched concept. A concept of darkness that only the impure would dare to touch. But was everybody impure? Were everybody sinners? The concept of hatred was mysterious one, yet, it was so, deeply natural too.

The cold air carried no sent, despite the small environment inside the cabin. Fulgur felt tears dwell inside his eye as he slowly stepped towards the door. His feet were slowly placed in front of each other, he was taking as much time as he needed. The door was made of red-wood, and was very smooth compared to everything else around here. He closed his eyes as he stepped out into the open. For the first time, he would see home sweet home.

Home "sweet" home?? Who ever called this sweet?

~~~

In the dark shadows of a gothic castle, far away in a deep valley, one man opened his eyes. They reflected dark wisdom and the deep scents of a killer. Even if his last kill had been months ago, somehow, the trace of blood was still there. He blinked once, his face purely neutral. Then, slowly, a crooked smirk crossed his face. His hands fell off of a dark, wood, object hanging around his neck and faced the floor.
"Welcome home son. I've been expecting you sometime soon. Very pleased to finally see you here with me-" He paused then began speaking again. "- Well, not with me, but that will change soon enough." His voice was dark and menacing, his tone black as sin. "The only thing that bothers me is that you brought that brat along with you."

Ashla

11-25-13, 07:29 PM

It was summer here.

That didn't stop this place from being cold though. Ashla was outside, gazing at the clear night sky. They were still in the mountains, but still officially inside the country. It was too far out though to be noted from the guards. That was why David had found refuge here.

Ashla closed her eyes, letting out a large sigh. She opened them again, even the smell of this place was cold. She stood around a large patch of snow. It covered the ground, the rocks, the boulders, the trees... It seemed very peaceful out here. Despite the beautiful environment, the cold was keeping her awake. The sound of a wolf howling far away also kept her up. She looked up into the night, nothing but stars and the moon were up. She blinked, "Are you lonely out there?" Her voice crackled, as she hadn't spoken in a while, "You all seem close together, but are you still far away?"

Then, Ashla heard footsteps behind her. The hood over her head keeping her warm sort of corroded her hearing from behind, so all she could tell was the sound of foot steps in the snow which crunched beneath them. Ashla turned her head to see who it was, hoping that it wasn't trouble. And it wasn't.

With bare feet and a grim expression, Fulgur stepped down from a small slope behind Ashla. Ashla was surprised to see him in such a state; he seemed so miserable. His hands were crossed in the cool and he had goosebumps even on his face. His eyes were red, which showed that he had recently cried, and his short hair was all over the place. Given that his head was down, he didn't even know she was there, he was lost in thought. A gust of wind blew, sending chills through Ashla's body. If she felt cold from it, she wondered, how much was Fulgur being nipped about by the climate here?

"If you'd wear some more outdoors gear," Ashla remarked, "You wouldn't be freezing to death."

BloodandBlades

11-28-13, 04:49 PM

Fulgur had been so deep in thought. Deep in thought about what to do concerning his father. They'd always loved each other dearly, Fulgur II always looked up to Fulgur I. Fulgur I had taught him a lot of what he knew now hand to hand. Fulgur would always, obediently and gratefully, take all he could from the hand that would feed. Now, Fulgur wondered, with all the times he had sworn revenge, would he be biting that hand now? Should he? Or should he try to talk with him first. He walked through a small forest; trees and plants were scattered across the bumpy landscape. A thin layer of snow covered them, making the world seem white and (at least to Fulgur) paper. Fulgur stopped for a moment and viewed the paper world around him, brown pencils stood up on the sheets, lumps of crumb or eraser also stayed. At first, Fulgur wanted to take the erasers and scatter them everywhere- but then he realized... That wasn't enough. What he wanted was to cause pain to this forsaken piece of paper, scattering across into the great distance. He wanted to watch the paper burn.

He wanted to watch the world burn.

And he wanted it to wither into ashes and despair... Into even more fire! He wanted the paper to forever burn in Hell.

With all the ties that had been broken in the past; his father, mother, uncle, best friend, favorite maid... Only David and Ashla remained, but he had just met Ashla. Should he have really brought her along? Should he have really trusted her?? What about David? Did he change since they met? Fulgur finally made his choice; blinded by his grief and hate he made a decision: Ashla would fall out of the picture and his father would be destroyed!

Fulgur smirked, Too bad, father, Ashla... You've lost my love.

"If you'd wear some more outdoors gear, you wouldn't be freezing to death."

Fulgur jumped in his path... And realized then that he had in fact, forgotten his boots. And he noticed Ashla. "Change in plans." He immediately got down to business, not wanting to pay games to this impatient, bratty, ungraceful excuse for a woman. He pulled out his lightning blade and started charging it. The cold seemed to melt off of him like the snow around him... Or paper... He smirked, soon enough, starting with this girl who stood hooded in front of him...

He would make the world burn.

Ashla

11-29-13, 01:43 PM

Ashla watched him pull out his blade. It sparked with electricity. Ashla blinked, "What's wrong? Why?" Why was he changing what he was changing? What provoked it? Why had Fulgur pulled his blade out? The snowy world around her seemed to whisper some kind of warning, the wind blew specks of white between them for a moment. When the gust had slowed, Ashla jumped at seeing that Fulgur was right in front of her. His blade was still out and it charged with electricity. His face was grim and emotionless.

"Fulgur?" Ashla asked, "What's going on?" She felt a plenty butterflies flap wildly in her stomach, something was off.

Then he did it. He grabbed Ashla's cloak and pulled her closer by the neck. At first, Ashla was just plain stunned; now, she felt a pain scorch through her sensitive neck. He was using his lightning blade on her.

Ashla said nothing as the pain grew in her, although she did cry out in the pain. She somehow was able to except betrayal, as she had experienced too much recently. After around thirty seconds, the blade dimmed. Ashla realized that he was at his limit for the blade. However, Fulgur still wasn't done. Before she had a chance to speak, Fulgur threw her away a couple feet and then slammed her stomach. Ashla bent over and blood splotched out of her mouth. A second later Fulgur gave her a hard punch in the head. She easily plopped onto the ground; out cold like the weather around them.

BloodandBlades

12-04-13, 07:02 AM

Fulgur watched his cousin fall to the ground. The entire time, after he first went up to her, she had said nothing. There was only her grim face staring back at him. Fulgur had gotten the better of himself in those last moments, he made sure that while he was able to knock Ashla out, he did nothing close to killing her. Even after he spent a year learning this ability, he never mastered the use of his lightning blade; he had been making sure to keep Ashla in one spot while holding the blade close to her neck, just letting the electricity do its work for him. Even so he had had to punch her with his absolute best twice to finally cause her to faint, Why she hadn't fought back at all, he didn't know.

Fulgur looked over Ashla's thin, limp body. He blinked only once. He felt a tear fall, but he felt no regrets; the only important thing to him now was his father's death. He couldn't stop himself from saying though, "I'm sorry, Ashla." His voice sounded sore and dry. He seemed melancholy, but inside he was still numb. He walked away from her silently. The only sounds all about being the sound of the icy winds carrying the cold winter chill.

Ashla

12-04-13, 07:57 AM

Ashla drifted about in the freezing darkness. It was even colder than the snow, but she felt like she was drowning in liquid water. Then she saw light burst through the black waves. She didn't have to swim, as the currents were pushing her there anyhow. The light got brighter and brighter, and the water felt warmer and warmer, until...

... "Ah-choo!"

Ashla burst awake in a sneeze. After which, she realized she had a sore throat in. She blinked, feeling dazed, and realized that she was back inside David's house. She felt something prodding her, and it wasn't human. It was Fireleaf! The cat had been out when she had woken up the first time, and when Fulgur had fainted, he had come back. Now here the feline was to give her something comforting and familiar to wake up to. He was standing on her stomach, but was now rubbing his nose against her face. Ashla laughed and reached up to pet him.

David walked over from another part of the room and sighed in relief, "You're up! Thank goodness, child!" He took Ashla's white sheets and pulled them over her some more as Ashla kept petting Fireleaf.

"Wha- How did you find me?" Ashla asked in confusion. She remembered well that Fulgur had been the one to knock her out. However, how did David find her?

David had been smiling before, but now he frowned, "Fulgur came back to get the rest of his weapons and his shoes. He told me to go look for a certain someone so I set out and found you half-covered in snow on the ground!"

Ashla sniffled, "And I guess I got sick from being out there for so long?"

David nodded, "You may have just caught a cold, but I'm not taking any chances." He turned away from Ashla and looked to another part of the room. Ashla's head felt as heavy as a barrel of heavy steel helms, so she didn't turn her head to see anything else within the room. "Hey, Zosimos, you got that broth done yet?"

The sound of Zosimos' young voice sounded from over the room (which direction it was coming from Ashla couldn't tell), "Not yet! Almost done though! I also added some chicken pieces and grains to this to add more flavor!"

David nodded as he turned back to Ashla, "Good, good..." He turned his attention back to Ashla then, "Don't you worry, you'll be back to health in no time!"

Fireleaf jumped down from the bed to go do something else, and David stepped away from Ashla to help Zosimos. Ashla just blinked and thought, I hope you can...

BloodandBlades

12-06-13, 12:09 PM

After a whole night of walking, Fulgur finally made it to the next lower part of the mountain Eiskalt rested on. Fulgur looked down from a rocky pavilian to see a quarry below him. Many workers were digging and hitting the side of the mountain for the country's precious minerals that made more than half of the economy here. Fulgur smiled as he watched them work vigorously without end.

Soon, he thought, I will put them out of their misery.

And so he walked down to the area where the work was taking place. Several workers were guiding some horses out of a cave within the heart of the quarry, they pulled several barrels of rock behind them. Fulgur remembered how this was not just a quarry, but the inside of the mountain also served as a great place for mining. It was all the metals and minerals in this rich mountain that Eiskalt took such pride in and exported. However the best of the best valubles dug up was kept inside the country and used to make strong weapons, armor, and even jewelry.
Given how far up withing the mountain they still were, snow fell across the enter quarry and laid on top any buildings, walls, and stone in the way. However, the filthy laborers of the quarry didn't have much snow gear on, as the hard work gave them needs to take the cold as an advantage - they could be working in a very hot environment which would make working in a quarry seem as hot as a volcano.

Fulgur was cautious here, most of the workers here were captured criminals who were serving to payment for their deeds. That would make of ninety percent of the workers here. The other ten percent were the extremely poor who found this was the only job left. So as he walked right through the work site, he made sure he pulled his cloak over his weapons; even so, nobody seemed to notice him. The few guards that were stationed her to oversee the work were too busy either chatting away or lecturing any workers who weren't doing their jobs right. These guards were dressed in iron armor and had iron or steel pikes and iron swords. Fulgur was surprised that they had such low-class weaponry, usually, the guards at least had steel armor. Why all the iron instead? Above that, a lot of just about anything metal around here were rusting. Even the sides of a small stable where the horses were kept were starting to rust in the harsh snow. Didn't the capital usually take better care of even the furthest reaches of their work places and workers? Did this mean that Fulgur I was as corrupt as David had made it sound? The thought of it made Fulgur let out a deep growl of frustration.

He then turned to see a worker had suddenly fainted, apparently from undernourishment as he was nothing but skin and bones. His large pike ax lay next to him. Two guards noticed this as well and were just running over. Fulgur was closer, so he got there first. Seeing an opportunity to become more armed, he picked up the ax and with his unnormal strength, wielded it to quickly put the two pathetic guards to rest. Fulgur smirked, an easy victory for him. Anybody else who would have noticed this had no chance of acting, for the stable was right next to Fulgur. He slung the ax over her shoulder and walked in to steal a horse. A strong, black horse was an easy choice for the misguided boy; Fulgur got on and grabbed the poor leather reins. And he was off again.

Ashla

12-12-13, 10:19 AM

Ashla sniffled as she awoke. It had been a week since Fulgur had abandoned her, and Ashla was still in bed! She had caught the flu; and it was awful - especially since she was inside a house with no closing windows! Ashla was been under the covers all together throughout the week except when David would force her to eat. She had no appetite, as she was still worried about Fulgur and was anxious to head out and find him again.

... However, David had other plans.

As soon as Ashla was feeling better, David was hoping to leave Zosimos with her and head out to find a "certain person" who could help them. David would not mention him at all with Zosimos in the house, and whenever he was outside, Ashla was sleeping. Thus, Ashla too had no idea who he was. All she knew was that this person was a "he".

Ashla currently was underneath the bed sheets again. One of them was a thick bed spread, the colors varied across this knitted quilt. There were also three, thin sheets. They were white (except for some brown and green stains from whenever Ashla threw up her food); and given the temperature around the entire room, they weren't much help at all. Ashla had the bed spread wrapped around her like she was in a small bag and had the sheets pilled on top. Ashla left a small opening in her little cave for her to be able to actually breathe; so she was still cold.

This seemed like it would be like any other day, however, it wouldn't be. "I don't feel that lightheaded today..." Ashla said blindly beneath her pile of blankets.

She heard David laugh from somewhere in the room, "Great news! Now you can try to eat again!"

I shouldn't have said that! Ashla rolled her eyes and pulled her head out of her blankets. She blinked as she tried to see past all the hair strands in her face, and looked around. It was the same as any other day, David was cooking stew at the fireplace, Zosimos was reading a book at the table, and Fireleaf was trying to huddle by the fireplace too keep warm.

"Your cat caught the biggest rabbit I've seen in a while!" David yelled from over the large, steel pot he was cooking in, "We need to get one of these!"

Ashla blinked tiredly, "So it's rabbit stew today, huh?"

"Indeed," David smiled, "I had to give one of the legs to him though." He nodded his head towards the orange and white cat laying down below him, "And I already am getting Zosimos' dish ready." He reached for a clay bowl on the mantle piece, it wasn't anything worth gifted craftsmanship, it wasn't painted or anything. He pulled it down and poured some hot, steaming stew into the dish. Ashla's stomach suddenly rumbled as she watched; she indeed was recovering enough to get her appetite back.

After David gave Zosimos his dish, he got Ashla's bowl ready and brought it up to her, "Now sit up, sweetie. We can't have you choke or something!"

Ashla sighed at being called "sweetie" and pushed herself up and out of her shield or blankets to keep her warm. She leaned against the bright, wooden wall, a sturdy structure that felt very cold against Ashla's bare neck. She reached out to take the bowl, "I'll feed myself this time, please." David had spoon fed her all the times before, it made Ashla feel like a baby. She was already recovering enough not to feel lightheaded and to gain her appetite back, she wanted to prove herself able to actually grip things without shacking either.

BloodandBlades

12-12-13, 05:11 PM

Fulgur rode on through the rocky cave. He had been traveling for a week now, and he was getting closer and closer to Tyranta... and closer to his vengeance. He had left his feelings for his cousin and his childhood caretaker far behind him - at least that's what he had it as in his head. He boldly steered his horse to the exit of the tunnel and looked down upon a rather beautiful sight. The valley of which Eiskalt's two cities rested on. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of valley which was just starting to shed its winter demeanor for the hottest part of the year, even if only for a brief time. Looming over the valley on a low-hanging cliff, Fulgur could see splotches of snow and dirt scattered all over the land. The fantastic lake stayed at the far end of the valley. Two large cities, both resting near this lake, were in view. One of them was Tyranta.

Fulgur's smile of pleasure turned to a smirk of triumph, he would defeat his father! No matter what the cost... He had been careful enough to make sure that his horse was well cared for - just because he knew that a healthy horse was a strong and fast horse, and a strong and fast horse would get him to his destination much quicker. He had his stead race down the snowy cliff sides and down towards the wonderland below.

Ashla

12-15-13, 08:52 PM

Ashla sat up at the side of her bed. If she got up onto the floor, it would be the first time in a week and one day. Ashla had gotten a lot better since she first started noticing yesterday, and even at the outskirts of the country things had been warming up. Most of the snow was melted outside, and in place were some winter grasses and mud, mud, mud. It was a bright day without a single cloud and a hot sun. Rays of light beamed through the open windows and lit up the room. Everything was in the usual place, except the flower on the table had blossomed even better. Ashla was barefoot and had her legs swinging at the side of the bed. She just watched her yellow feet hanging over the dusty brown floor. Her hair was all over and inside her face, her blue eyes lacking the light they usually did. She was feeling better, but she was still a long ways to go.

She looked up from herself and invisible but strong stench that swirled around her from her sickness and lack of activity. She was lost in thought about Fulgur and his father. Why would a man do such a thing? Why? Why would he destroy his whole family? Who is that cruel and cold-hearted?? Why?, then her thought suddenly turned on herself, Why do I hate him so much? Why do I hate Fulgur II's father? He- he... Then she noted that David was sitting blindly at the table daydreaming. "Hey..." She barely got the words out of her mouth. David looked up at her with surprise, then smiled.

"You're improving, child!" He got up from his chair and ran across the tidy room to her, "I can't believe it!" He blinked once he got close to her though and briefly had a look of unpleasantness. Then he smiled again, "Would you like anything to eat?"

I think he's trying to lean towards whether I need a bath or not... Ashla gave a warning glance at the man and got up, still bent over like a cripple. "I'll get it." to her surprise, she didn't feel dizzy at all, but suddenly felt healthier concerning her overall body. She blinked her eyes open wider and walked over to the bowl of berries at the table. "You can grow fruit here?"

David looked at her for a moment then smiled, "There is a certain kind of bush that can grow in the cold that produces these beauties around here!" Ashla looked at him for a moment then looked down at the small, red and pink berries in a puny, wooden bowl set on the weak table in the corner of the building. "You can only find these here, nowhere else in the world. And oh boy, do they make great wine!"

Ashla glanced at them one more time then turned around and pointed at David, "Hey! Then I can't eat them!"

"Hey, you're far beyond thirteen and that's when you get your rights for adulthood." David chuckled nervously. David was good at provoking order around here, given he had been able to keep a young boy in check all these years, but Ashla was feisty enough to keep David on a leash.

"Yeah, but still!" Ashla complained. So it seemed that a rather calm day suddenly turned ugly for a kind, old man and a teenage girl in a one room cabin.

BloodandBlades

12-20-13, 07:46 PM

In this marvelous city, many people on the streets, on the ramps, everywhere. It ticked Fulgur off. He sighed as he walked across the sandy street in a street similar to post streets here. Like any other settlement in Eiskalt, the houses were made of various evergreen trees and the buildings weren't that large. Huge stones, which came in multiple colors, also were used for the buildings. It didn't matter what building it was, most of the buildings only had one floor except one or two inns and taverns. A mill running across a still half-frozen river also sustained two floors as most mills would. The streets in this city were still unorganized due to the preview years in which civil war had taken place in this country. This war had begun and ended even before Fulgur had been born, so he had grown up here. The streets were covered in golden sand and all the ground surrounding the buildings were made up of small patches of snow, winter grasses, and mud. Fulgur sighed as he stepped in a large glop of mud at the side of the road as he had pulled over to let a couple of horse driven trailers go by. They were nothing out of the ordinary; messy scraps of pine and straw trailers covered by a canape of burlap or pine needle blankets. The smell of pine and the feeling of the mixture of wet mud and snow was all around him. The boy pulled his horse behind him as he walked towards the castle up ahead. The castle was a large building made up of strong boulders and pine wood. The place was huge, even from the distance Fulgur currently was from it. The castle had many spikes and towers, gothic decorations and steel glass windows with pictures of war and love on their multi-colored glass. Despite the fact that he had seen this image a thousand times before, Fulgur still felt overwhelmed seeing the home of the Tabor family again... and the home of his former best friend.

"Hey, Fulgur! Wanna spar today! Our parents are holding yet another boring old meeting like every week..."

Fulgur blinked, trying not to smile at the memory of his carefree companion. As he turned a block to another street full of the same exact images as the last one, he recalled his reply.

"Isn't it the responsibility of our families to make sure Eiskalt is safe and proud? That's what my daddy always tells me."

And the slightly older prince replied, "For a kid who's younger than me, you sure behave like an adult! Isn't that a little boring? We're not adults yet, let's enjoy our childhoods while they last!"

Fulgur closed his eyes and whispered, "Now that I'm here, my friend, I wish I would have listened to you... Julius."

Ashla

12-20-13, 08:52 PM

Ashla blinked as she watched David packing up for his trip. "So who are you going to find?" She was leaning against the same bed that David had his sack on. He was currently packing up a pair of clothes.

David did not reply, he only continued packing; blinking for a moment. He sighed a couple moments later as he stepped across the room in hurry, the floor beneath his bare feet creaking under his weight; grabbing a pack of the red small berries Ashla had put together for him earlier. Ashla watched his every movement, her face was quite casual. She looked up at him as he stepped in front of her and opened his mouth to speak. Ashla was hoping for him to answer her question, but instead he pointed at her long knife. "I suppose a long sword is enough for now? I'll need a form of weaponry on my brief trip."

Ashla reached down to pull the sheath, with the blade inside, off of her belt. As she did so, she asked, "'Brief' trip? How do you even know where this person is?"

David placed his elderly hands on his bony hips, "Because you yourself know where he is."

Ashla's face grew into a confused scrunch as she took her smaller weapon into both her hands; the leather sheath holding the steel blade pressed against her stomach, "Come again?"

"The person I am looking for," David revealed, "Is Julius Tabor."

Ashla's eyes widened, "Julius??" She was shocked at hearing such a familiar name, "What does he have to do with anything?"

David's face showed that he was so close to laughing, a smile appeared on his face. He covered his mouth in attempts to hide this as he replied, "Why, Ashla! He never told you? He was the prince of this land before his father banished him!"

So I have a crush on a prince? Go figure! Ashla's face fell to something natural and serious again as she admitted, "He last told me he was going to the Citadel in Corone to train himself. Most likely he's still there."

David smiled in gratitude to her as he placed a satchel of deer meat inside the bag, "The I'm off to Corone."

Ashla jumped to the conclusion that this old man would need more advice and continued, "Corone is closer to Eiskalt than Fallien, but Fallien is the closest country Eiskalt trades with. Right?"

David looked back at her, "I do believe that Eiskalt is in negotiations with Corone on an alliance, but I'm still not sure." he blinked, "I'll have to find my way to Corone by myself either way, since you're staying here to-"

"Watch Zosimos." Ashla handed David her long knife, "I know."

David smiled, "Thank you for everything, Ashla. You are your father's child."

Ashla's eyes widened just then, did David know her father? "D-David? Do yo-you-"

David raised his hand for her to calm down, "I did know you father, Ashla. Ashfall Icebreaker. I only knew him for a short time though since I just came into King Tabor's services a year before you were born."

Ashla placed her hand tightly of the man's shoulder, desperate to know more about her parents, "And my mother?"

David sighed, "I only met her once."

Ashla blinked, a silent indication that she wanted to know more about their encounter.

David sighed and then he bit his lip, "That was not the happiest encounter. She was six months pregnant with a child- which was you obviously." He looked at her, "Ashfall had invited me to visit Layla where she was at."

"Where?" Ashla asked, expecting the hear the reply of being in a hospital or medical area in the royal grounds. However, David' reply made her feel light headed.

"The prison."

"What!?"

"Laya Rose was an A-Rank criminal in Eiskalt. A D-Rank robber in her homeland in Raiaera." David explained calmly, "She had been assigned by the king of a neighboring country to assassin Ferdinand and Monte Icebreaker, your grandfather and second uncle, for doing... something... to him I suppose. Either way, she had been caught and given the penalty of giving service to another member of the Icebreaker family. Ashfall, given he had been having troubles on his missions given his young age, was given the job of being her master." David blinked, as if he was trying to remember more. "Two years out of the five she was given had gone by and Ashfall and Layla had been close friends. Unknown to Ferdinand and the other Icebreakers they were too close. They had fallen in love sometime in the past year she had worked for him, and one day the news was out that Layla was pregnant. Given that branch members of the Icebreaker family are forbidden to have children, and given that Layla was a criminal, the girl had been locked up in a cell for until the child was born so that the Icebreaker head could kill the child when she was born. Ashfall had invited me to visit his love and they both asked me advice on what to do concerning the subject."

Ashla blinked, "W-w- Wait a minute! I- I..." Ashla's mind was swirling, had her entire life been unplanned and unwanted from the moment she was discovered in her mother's womb? "I was-"

David sushed her, placing his hand on Ashla's mouth. "I could not betray the trust of the noble families, so I gave them no advice on what to do concerning their baby. However..." Ashla blinked back the tears starting to form in her eyes as David continued, "I reminded them that they were both good people. Up until that time Layla had actually gained the trust and respect of most of the family, even their head Ferdinand. And Ashfall was just the youngest child, he was still foolish."

"Youngest child?" Ashla asked in a stiff voice.

"At the time the three sons of Ferdinand were at differant ages. Fulgur was twenty-six, Monte was twenty-one, and Ashfall was seventeen."

"My father was that young??" Ashla gasped, "That's the age I am right now!"

David shook his head, "Yes, and Layla was sixteen. They were both splendid people despite their mistakes." David smirked at Ashla as he told her, "You are a direct combination of those two. You are very spunky and energetic. You have your mother's hair thickness, body shape, and ears. You also gained her gift of an elf's agility and you have her vocal tone. She was all of these things. You also have blackish-brown, straight hair, a timid first appearance, and even a small, slightly scratchy voice. Your father also had those traits. Something that you've gained from both of them though is that you have a gentle heart."

Ashla blinked as a tear fell from her left eye, her hands were shaky on her weapon as David continued, "Laya may have been a crook, but she was a blissful young woman full of life. While she had committed various crimes, that was the only way she could survive. No wonder the Icebreaker family liked her so much, she was smart, sweet, and very concerned for the people around her. Your father also was very worried for his family and his own country. They both hated Fulgur I with a passion, but Monte was closer to them than Julius was to Fulgur II in their childhoods. Ferdinand also had personal interest in Layla's progress from what I've heard." David sighed, "Anything could have happened to a mixed blood like you, but you've only gained their best traits."

Ashla's weapon fell out of her hands and made a large clunk on the floor. She blinked, more tears falling at that moment. "I bet there was a good reason you had been spared despite your unfortunate birth rights." David told her, "You are here for a reason, no matter what anybody tells you." He bent down and picked up Ashla's weapon, also placing it inside his bag and then tying it shut. He let Ashla silently cry of this next to him. "Now please watch Julius's brother for me. He should be home really soon. Make sure he doesn't step a foot outside this house..." David's eyes grew surprisingly grim at that moment as he glared at a shuddering Ashla, "Or else..."

He picked up the bag and flung it over his back, he then went to finish his preparations to leave. Ashla stay where she was, standing next to the bed. How could my parents be so terrible but so good at the same time? Her eyes were shut tightly together and her hands were in aggressive fists. Should I hate them or love them? Why did they... ... Her questions went on and on her her internal conflict. Her hand drifted over to her arm which was scarred from when she had cut herself. She wouldn't do it again, but her pain called for some kind of killer. She slowly sat on the bed as her tears of bittersweet kept falling. Why? She didn't even hear David leave as she laid down on the bed and curled into an emotional, messy ball. Why am I even here right now?

BloodandBlades

12-22-13, 09:44 PM

I realized after reading Fulgur's profile again to make sure, that Fulgur's lightning blade would still be out of touch. However, it's been a week since he last used the ability, so if you would consider me using it before 10-20 posts power-gaming, please just message me. A week to charge it back up again seems long enough! Also, the reason why Fulgur's blade became more amplified on usage one here is because metal naturally attracts electricity, so the field that the lightning would spread across the amplification would be at least a little more deadly. Once again, if this is power-gaming just message me and I'll be perfectly fine editing this to where he uses another method to kill the guards. Thank you any moderators who happen to be reading this suck-ish story anyhow...

Fulgur ran up the marble stairs to a wooden door. He had made it to the castle! This was a small door at the side of the castle embedded is a layer of heavy stones. Fulgur smirked, no guards were around so it would be easy to get in! ... Right?

The sound of footsteps were heard loud and clear as Fulgur stepped up the staircase to the door. He placed his right hand on the golden doorknob; his grip was firm and steady. He stood there for a moment thinking about it, I am so close... with that he flung open the door!

~~~

"Good my boy, good... You are so close to finding me. I have waited for a while now, so now show me what you've got!"

~~~

The door flung into the grey walls. Fulgur's smirk faded away as he realized that he wasn't alone. Three guards stood inside a rather shabby hallway. The hall was made of rough, large stones and had many wood shelves packed with various things. The skinny corridor left Fulgur without the choice of dodging, so he'd have to fight these men in armor. A man with an iron tabarzin axe raced towards him and attempted to slice his head off. Fulgur stepped backwards down the stairs he had just come from and pulled out his lightning blade. He dodged his opponents sliced for several moments then grabbed his left wrist - the one he was holding his weapon with. With brute strength, Fulgur twisted the man's arm easily; he didn't even have armor on in that area, most likely to allow movement. When the armored man fell to the ground in pain, Fulgur activated his prized weapon.

"Too bad you have loads armor made of metal on you." Fulgur was enjoying toying with this man, it gave him a sense of freedom in his cold blood. "Metals attract electricity." The blade was fully charged, so Fulgur thrust the unique sword into the man's chest. The guard screamed in pain for several seconds as thanks to his current apparel, lightning was cursing through his entire body. Fulgur knew that this still wasn't enough though, so he pulled out his steel cutlass and had it off with his head.

Blood scattered across the dirty ground, making it even messier. Fulgur blinked once as he deactivated the bolts of electricity in the lightning blade. He then turned to the other two who were just outside the door. One of them had a crossbow while the other had two broadswords. The archer had his weapon pulled tightly into position as he shook violently. He wasn't completely covered in armor, and sharp green eyes against a pale face were visible. He was sweating violently, "Wh-who are you?"

Fulgur smirked again as he replied the man's question. "I am your father's son. I'm here on a rare family reunion." Fulgur never could have thought that he could be this menacing before, but here he was. Slash the blood of a melee warrior splattered against the door. Taking a couple steps into the hallway, the remaining man was calling out for help. Fulgur scoffed, "Fool."

Clash. Gurgle. Gush. He was also dead a second later. Fulgur began to chuckle madly, "Soon enough, that will be my father. Soon enough!!" And he lost control.

Ashla

12-22-13, 10:07 PM

A family reunion should invite all of it's members; except if that family member has been removed. That would describe Ashla Icebreaker's relationship with her family.

~~~

"Hey, wake up." Ashla blinked her blue eyes open to see Zosimos standing in front of her peering down at her face. "You awake?"

Ashla was still huddled together on the bed. In her sleep, she had dreamed about nothing. The pain she had felt when she had fallen asleep was still heavy on her heart. The worst part about it was that she had been feeling an emotion she had not felt so direly anytime before in her life: hatred. She could name off an entire list of things she hated right now. Even her uncle Monte seemed far away from her trust now, given he had hid an entire part of their lives from her and had taken it to the grave. Ashla blinked again and mumbled, "Yeah, I'm up. Why?"

Zosimos had a purely curious face with innocent eyes when Ashla had first woke up, but now his face was grim and serious. "Good. Now we can move."

Ashla sat up in surprise, "Wait- what?"

Zosimos ran across the room collecting things, "David wouldn't let us do anything yet. Now he's gone, now's our chance!"

Ashla got up immediately and ran over; grabbing his young arm as he reached for bowl on the mantle piece, "Oh no you don't!"

The boy looked surprised, "Why not??" He whined.

Ashla took hold of his arms and knelt down to his level. David had given her the responsibility of keeping this child safe; David was one person she trusted right now, and she would complete her task to the letter. "David told me to keep you here. I cannot let you go the the capital."

Zosimos threw one of her arms off, "But! -"

Ashla interrupted, "- David did many things for me, so I am doing something for him!" She sighed and shook her head, "You are still a young boy. You are not fit for battle anyhow."

Zosimos was cross, "It's not fair! How can I bring peace back to the kingdom like this?!"

Ashla's personal goals suddenly clouded her mind. She remembered how she was reluctant to go with Fulgur II on his quest for vengeance, but now she was more than willing to re-join him. Her family, her 'friends', her ally's, they had kept everything from her! And now, Ashla would take everything friend and foe alike take striped away from her back. She knew how to appease Zosimos' emotions - the same way Fulgur had appealed her's.

"Look," Ashla told him, her expression true and light, "I'll go to Tyranta as long as you agree to stay here."

"But I don't wanna-"

"- Look, kid! I know you want to have revenge and be the hero and save everyone; but this is real life! You're still a kid and you know nothing of real combat!" Ashla's nerves and emotions alone were pushing her to her limit on patience, Zosimos' reckless personality was also pushing some buttons. "I want revenge as much as you do." Her voice was lower than when she had risen it a moment ago, "In fact, I feel like I need it. But you're but a boy who knows nothing of how to survive up there. I do. I can do what I can to find my cousin and bring him to his senses; then we'll hold Fulgur I off together. Meanwhile, you guide David and Ju- our new ally hes picking up... And bring them to Taranta. Got it?" Ashla tried to smile, but she couldn't; she felt cold inside. It wasn't like Ashla to be this way, but she had opened her eyes now and realized all she had been missing. She had a hunger to reclaim that. It wasn't herself to be this battle hungry, but Ashla wanted her eldest uncle to have payback for destroying her life. She blinked slowly as she anxiously awaited Zosimos' answer.

BloodandBlades

01-07-14, 08:16 AM

Fulgur tip toed down the hallway. This dark place of cold, stone walls and dimly lit torches on the walls. The air carried a cold so deep that it made Fulgur wonder if his lungs would freeze. The smooth stone walls almost reflected Fulgur's reflection; his footsteps would have been echoed on the pine floor if it weren't for the rich, multicolored rug running through it. Fulgur blinked, an entire half of his childhood memories were coming back to him. He shook his head after several deep moments of thought, All that matters now is father...

His one good eye took on its crisp Icebreaker color as his heart burned over how such a noble man could have done such a thing. "Why, father?!?" Fulgur started to dash towards the door in front of him, a tear falling off his eye and trailing behind him, "Why!?!" The words echoed around him, returning his anger and grief as he slammed open the door.

Fulgur caught heavy breaths as he looked around him, he was inside the thrown room. A large, gothic room cluttered with books, gold, treasure, and many more riches. A rough rug similar to the ones streching across the hallways was spread all over in here. The black, stone walls sparkled in reflection of the shining treasures inside. Fulgur blinked, not only did his father murder, but he apparently pillaged too.

How sick...

"Are you looking for someone?" A voice suddenly broke the silence of Fulgur's presence, "It's been a long time, hasn't it, son?" Fugur's eyes were suddenly wide with a sudden burst of a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time, fear. Fulgur II shook in vibration to the footsteps of his own father, Fulgur I. He heard a sword drawn behind him, he saw the gleam of silver behind him against the soulless wall. Fulgur II blinked, trying to refrain himself, he was here to kill this guy!

Fulgur II hastily drew his lightning blade and attempted to charge it... with one small error. Blast! Fulgur II realized, I already used it three times today! Two times on those two guards, and a third time to kill that tattletale I met down the road! A moment later he felt something large and metal hit the top of his head. In a combination of his fear the impact of the object, Fulgur fell onto the floor. He realized that it was the round hilt of his father's prized sword. A gold and silver hilt with a nob on the end, and a sharp blade meant for both cutting and stabbing. The metal of the blade was stronger than steel, that was all Fulgur II knew.

"I have to say, I'm disappointed." Fulgur I's shadow loomed over him, "You can only charge it three times still? You haven't improved at all."

Fulgur II only had one question on his mind though, "Wh-wh-Why?" he begged, "Why did you k-kill everyone??" When he didn't hear an answer he screamed, "Tell me why, you monster!!"

He heard his father reply to him in a long chuckle, "Well, I had to cleanse us of the unworthy. All of our family, except me and maybe even you... Were nothing but rats!"

Fulgur II blinked, "Wh-whatat do yo-o-ou mean-n?"

Fulgur I chuckled again, "Well, child, you have shown such promise while everybody else, in the Icebreaker and Tabor families alike, were nothing but pathetic scum who knew nothing of honor! So I eradicated them so I could cleanse this country of a sinful government, that is all."

He didn't give Fulgur II any time to respond as just a moment after speaking Fulgur II sudden'y felt numb all over his body. A pure, petrifying feeling of frozen numb. In the sudden burst of pain, Fulgur II fainted into the hard, wooden floor. The last thing he heard was Fulgur I saying, "I think I overestimated you though, boy!"

Ashla

01-07-14, 05:49 PM

Ashla raced as fast as she could through the forest on her two feet. Brown boots blurred against the white snow, specks of frozen water flying behind her efforts. Ashla wasn't as fast as a rocket, but this was as fast as she had ever gone. Her elven gifts were at advantage as she also scaled boulders and fallen tree trunks. Her cloak didn't help her stay warm at all as it was doing nothing but hanging at the back of her neck, flying around in the wind which worked against the hybrid girl as she raced towards her destination. I will find you, Fulgur, I promise! Now I hate him to, so you better let me back! The boy she had been looking after had allowed her go; so after giving him several final warnings she had swooped off.

She couldn't tell why, but she felt free out here, running against the wind, racing across her homeland. Was it because nothing was holding her back now? Yes, the wind was a little frustration, but in her sensation it only shed the skin of fear off her and allowed her spirit toe roam. She felt like herself before she had met Black Shadow again; her fears were buried in the back her mind and all she was was a careless child roaming Fallien again, except the atmosphere was triple times as better as that cursed desert. She was free!

A smile fell over her face as she skidded down a bumpy hill, at last she was unleashed. Since she had met Black Shadow, joined that cursed League, and now was tangled in this mess that concerned her entire back story, she had been feeling extremely down. She remembered how she had reacted to her losses at the League, she'd cut the branches off of how many trees and also sliced at their trunks. Now that was behind her and nothing was left but to make sure that her past, present, and future as an Icebreaker was secure and that she could finally truly understand if her life was significant anyhow.

It was finally time for vengeance upon the man who had taken everything from her even before she was born...

BloodandBlades

01-07-14, 06:13 PM

Fulgur woke up slowly then suddenly remembered, Father! He jumped to his knees. He couldn't see anything for a couple seconds then noticed the bars in front of him, the hallway separating them from another set of bars. A dungeon! Fulgur's eye widened, then he brashly turned around and slammed the wall he just knew was behind him. "Curse that man!" He growled and looked up again. There was a lot of light shining into the cold, sewer like, dungeon and the cells it had. He was the only prisoner there. Fulgur sighed and switched his body's position, leaning against the heavy rock wall. He was not chained at all, free to roam the cell, the size of a trailer, on his own free will. His mind flew around with thoughts of how to escape, and after about an hour of endless thinking an opportunity popped up.

A guard in the regular armor of a soldier walked in with an iron platter with food on it. He knelt down next to Fulgur's song without a word and slid the plater under the steel bars into Fulgur's cell. "Food for the prisoner."

"Prisoner"? What did you call me, you son of... He growled but said nothing as the man stood up. Fulgur ungratefully looked down at the food. It was a mild piece of bread and sludgy soup that didn't even look like soup. An idea suddenly flew into his mind! The guard had turned his back already and was turning to leave, his long, brown hair slopping wildly down his back. "Hey." Fulgur asked, "What is this stuff?!"

The man turned his head back to him; brown eyes and tan skin, his mouth curved in a growl, "Be thankful for what you have, kid."

Fulgur rolled his eyes, "Just tell me what it is..."

The man blinked, "Even in Eiskalt there have been barely any prisoners, no matter how bad tempered they were, who ever spoke back to the guards." He turned to face him, "Who are you, anyways?"

The boy in the cell smirked, "Fulgur II Icebreaker, the son of the king whom you serve."

Ashla

01-08-14, 07:49 AM

Racing down a steep cliff that dropped several more layers down the country's mountain side, Ashla couldn't help but wonder if she was going the wrong way. She had been going all night and now, even at sunrise, she had found no signs of civilization. Ashla was being super careful not to make one wrong footing as she grasped the very sides of the giant cliff and carefully placed her feet on the tiny bit of "ground" beneath her. She looked up to see that a pine tree was growing just above her on the major amounts of land was at. Ashla sighed and with her agile body, pulled herself up back onto land. She looked down to the endless pit below where she once stood one more time then got up, shaking, and decided to continue on.

Instead of going downhill, Ashla had been going uphill, deeper into the heart of the mountains. She was really hungry now, and thirsty. She was about to collapse due to exhaustion when she saw a small crick up ahead of her. The water would be freezing cold, but who cared! Where there was a crick, there would be other living organisms too, ones she could catch and eat! Ashla was saved!

Ashla ran up to the crick and cupped her hands as she placed them in the freezing water. Ashla hissed for a moment, then pulled her hands up to her lips and drank her first thing of water since yesterday evening. Ashla was briefly unable to cope with the nipping water temperature, but she still needed this! After several more times of repeating the process, Ashla heard footsteps coming her way. To the sound if it, it may have been a large animal like a deer or even a moose, but when Ashla looked up she saw the most awkward thing ever... three Humans?

They didn't look like any humans Ashla had seen before though, they had a better build than regular humans, and they were slightly shorter with very large foreheads. They were also slightly bending over like they were crippled or something. However, they did take a correct posture, standing up very straightly when they noticed her as well. Ashla just kept looking at them, they were neither human nor dwarf - in fact they looked nothing like dwarves! But were they even human? "Wh-" Ashla's voice cracked due to drinking the water, "Who a-are yo-o-u?"

They all wore very old fashioned animal hides and had bone spears, however, they were sown and forged like any expert nit or blacksmith could made them. One of them stepped forwards, his voice was very low, "It's been a long time since a human person came way up here. Are you lost, girl?"

Ashla blinked, "M-maybe... Why?"

The man sighed and reported, "We Neanderthals of the North would attack any man, but a woman? I'm sorry to say that we can't. Who are you?"

Ashla could tell that these "Neanderthals" were feeling hostile towards her, but why? Ashla decided to be honest with them, "I'm Ashla Icebreaker, daughter of Ashfall Icebreaker. I'm trying to find a way to get to the capital city of this country so I can whoop my uncle Fulgur I's butt into the next millennium. Do you know which way to go?"

BloodandBlades

01-10-14, 07:55 AM

The guard sighed as he paced back and fourth in front of Fulgur II's cell, "Your side of the story is relevant, but your father also has his side of the story."

Fulgur II had been able to catch the guard's attention when he stated that he was the king's son; now all he needed was to try and gain this guy's trust. However, hearing this guard try to defend his father, he was blistering, "A man like him does not deserve his side of the story!" He clenched the steel bars which contained him and growled, his one eye containing the Icebreaker glow, "A man like him does not deserve to-"

"-I can understand your anger," the guard said, "Many things in the world are gone through unexplained and are painful to endure. Your father has boosted the economy, but the people have suffered due to it. It is not only the low levels and crooks working in the quarries and mines anymore," he sighed, "He forced people into labor. He killed thousands of innocents and turned homeland into labor areas. Even the animals have to scratch for food now, as all of the money that is exported into the country is spent of steel works and weapons. The king means well though, all he wants is the well fair of this entire country. However, his actions are the opposite."

Fulgur II closed his eye, turning his head away from this man, "So his intentions are good, but his actions are wrong." He smirked, "I can see that, but still..." He opened his eye again, scowling, "I will destroy him for every wrong action he has committed!"

The man blinked and closed his eyes, "I see... Like father like son; you intend to save this country and bring back your family's former glory." He opened his eyes again, "But is murder the best way to achieve this? Especially for your own father?"

Fulgur II growled, of course this was the right way to go! The only way to vanquish evil was to kill it off so the good alone could thrive. The only way to get through a problem was to cut its throat and put it to death. That was what Fulgur II believed, and given so he would do it to his father. "I believe," He said slowly, "That I am on the right path."

The man blinked, "I see." He lifted his hands to his heavy, steel helmet and removed it from his head. The corners of the whites of his eyes were red due to lack of sleep; his long, thick hair was untamed and was everywhere! His shoulders, his back... "My name is Ahiga." He said without the hint of a smile, "I do agree with Fulgur I's intentions of making this country proud, but his train of actions makes him my private enemy." He dropped the steel helmet onto the ground and walked towards the cell. The next action of his surprised Fulgur II, he lifted the keys off of a wood stick pounded into the uneven prison wall, "I will let you go."

Fulgur II's eyes widened as Ahiga continued to speak, "I can tell that even if it's just by a little, you are different from your father before you. You will save us all." He was close enough to the cell, Fulgur II jumped up to him and attempted to grasp the keys. This guard was quick though and pulled his dark tan hand away in a flash, "If you would like," He offered, "I will come with you on your quest to bring peace and justice back to this realm." And he placed the correct key inside the lock. Fulgur II's eyes widened, he cared nothing for the word "peace", but this man would make a resourceful ally.

Fulgur stood in a more put together stature and boldly claimed, "Thank you for your assistance, Ahiga. Together, we shall vanquish the corrupt in this mountain world."

Ashla

01-11-14, 01:31 PM

I purposely made all those spelling for the Neanderthal's dialogue parts. It's a way of showing how they can't talk as well as a normal human by giving them a slight slang and differently spelled words. Please be careful not to overreact and blow up due to these obvious errors as it is a part of the writing process, my fellow grammar freaks.

Ashla sighed as she followed the three dark skinned Neanderthals through a thick forest thicket. They told her that if she shared their common hatred for Fulgur I then they were with her. Another reason was behind their quick reaction to help her though. At least a little more thought could have been put into before they stated that they would help her. Ashla wondered though if they were leading her into a trap. They were leading her up further into the mountains though and not further down like she wanted to go. "I hope you don't mind me asking," Ashla called to them, "But where are we going?"

The leader of the group turned his head back to speak to her, "Tow home!" He called, "Once we're there we can get you what you need to go defeat our oppressur quickly!"

Yup, Ashla thought, This is a trap. "What what would that be??" She called, trying her best not to sound rude to these guys.

Another Neanderthal stopped and turned around, he was still in a crouched position compared to the others, "We Neanderthals lack in the ability to be good fiteres, so we made for that for when the day cames for us to face the nobel famalies again."

"In what way?" Ashla pushed a branch aside and walked up the the other three who were in an arrow head shaped line.

The third Neanderthal crouched down again, "Magic." And without hesitation he continued into the thicket.

"Magic?" Ashla asked, "What kind?"

"It requires many rithuals," The leader stated, "But we could teleport ya to the capitil."

"Really?" Ashla crossed her arms, "And how can I tell this isn't a trap?" Ashla blinked, she was smart, she knew not to trust strangers.

The lead Neanderthal took a couple steps close to her, he too could tell her distrust was solid. "We are unusually close to your fwhend David," He explained, "He said that there would be a good chance you or that other guy he tawked about would need help while he was awai." He nodded, "We've known David and hiss family since he was born. Despite our natural enemyship between our races, we trust each other."

Ashla blinked, if they knew David, maybe she should give them a try. She would still be extremely careful though, no matter what this could still be an ambush. She let out a huge sigh and started to walk in the direction the one Neanderthal went towards though, "Then let's get going..."

BloodandBlades

01-20-14, 07:35 AM

Fulgur II sighed in relief, those guards didn't notice! Inside a very dark hallway in a very dark fortress, Fulgur was escaping with the help of the guard Ahiga. Ahiga motioned Fulgur II to move once more and the team darted down the gothic, black hallway with torches and sets of steel armor.

"So this is boring..." Fulgur told the guard next to him.

"To escape is to be secretive. We must stay quiet!" Ahiga whispered back to him.

As they crept hallway after hallway, the enemy taking no notice at all, Fulgur II wondered why there were so few guards here. He kept it in mind ask Ahiga when they got out.

Eventually, after much hiding, they had made it out through a small doorway similar to the one they came in Finally... Fulgur sighed in relief and turned to see his companions come out of the wooden door as well.

Ashla

02-02-14, 12:38 AM

Ashla followed the Neanderthals up a bitterly cold landscape; a steep hill with many wild pine trees. The three men nimbly scaled up it, Ashla did too. Behind the trees was the entrance to a cave. As if it was carved in, the hole in the rock was tight and high. Once again, the people guiding her went forth without saying a thing. Ashla was still unsure of whether this was a trap or not... but she had followed them this far, it wouldn't make any sense to turn back now...

Ashla let out one, huge sigh and went on into the cavern, and away from the snow covered mountain outside.

~~~

Inside, Ashla was so surprised by how neat the cave was. There were shelves carved out of stone, several blankets that were both knitted from cloth or made of animal hides and carpeted and decorated the cave quite well. Everywhere, a unique trait of this rather warm cave kept her at awe: almost everywhere, some form of magic was being used. Whether magic allowed a torch to keep burning even when the food was reduced to ashes, or whether liquid was kept inside a glass jar and produced unique colors whenever a single object or person in the room moved a foot; magic and sorcery was being used everywhere! And the Neanderthals didn't seem to be putting in any effort either! Ashla forgot about her distrust for the Neanderthals and simply looked around with wide eyes. "Wow..." She breathed, "This is amazing!"

"We're glad yow thank so!" the leader of the Neanderthals grinned, "Now, we awr 'goin to use owur magic to 'elp you."

Ashla turned her head from her observations of the colorful cave, her hair whipping with it, and asked, "Help me? How?"

The Neanderthal placed his dirty, but sturdy hand on her shoulder, "We will teleport you straight ta de castle."

Ashla's eyes widened, "Teleport me?" This outta be good...

"As ya can tell," The Neanderthal led her further into the 'main room', "We use magic a tot." He then lifted his heavy hand and pointed his lumpy finger towards the center of the cave floor. There was an elevated portion of the grey rock carved with some kind of symbol, "We are gonna put ya awn de platform and transport ya two the castle stewps."

Ashla grinned, that would make her trip so much faster! Instead of racing along the cold climate and freezing mountain ranges for what would be perhaps weeks, she could be zapped to the king's fortress in seconds! ... Then her doubts came back up again, "W-Wait!" Ashla asked hastily, her smile fading away from her face, "How many times have you done this before??"

"Many." The man told her, "Howeva we never teleported anyone that far before, and we can't teleport ya back."

That's not a relief... "How far have you teleported anybody?"

"Up ta five persons ta David's house." The Neanderthal stated proudly, "This technique has been passed down fwom generation to genewation as long as we's hid here and we know its well." The man sighed though, "We hope to be able to use it strongly enough ta teleport entire armies some day... So we could invade the capital withowt botha...."

"Hey," Ashla's curiosity was pricked, "How come you hate humans so much?"

Other Neanderthals had been inside the cave doing things such as telling children to get down from where a large vial of black magic potions were or pounding the dirt out of the rugs, but now they all went silent and turned their heads towards Ashla.

"Uh... heh, heh." Ashla smiled nervously as she realized she had asked such a reaction sparking thing.

"Sha's half elf," The Neanderthal reported to the others, "She's nowt like de rest." He placed his arm around Ashla's shoulders (which she was now uncomfortable about) and began to explain to her.

"We was de first civilization to ever come to Eiskalt. We roamed these mountains for how long, but we always feared the valley. We never was held back by anything! We weres the sole race of this land." The Neanderthal sighed, smiling, "The glory days uv us may have been triple the times our tales tell us's. We were frees!" Then his smile suddenly turned to a vile snarl, Ashla immediately threw his bony arm off as he continued, "Den de humans invaded..."

As the man's fists tightened, Ashla could already see the end of this story in mind. "We was chased away, imprisoned, keeled... Almost all of us were destroyed!" His voice was low, almost like the growl of an animal, as he vibrated in his intense anger, "Some of us were able to escape though... And now, us here in des cave are theirs' decedents." Ashla looked around to see the men, woman and children listening as well. The men also shared the Neanderthal's anger, the women held their simple eyed children close and shuddered, "Wes were tasked with the job uv reviving the old Eiskalt." He stood up, "Wes will wipe out de human race!!"

Suddenly, many of the other people in the cave shouted and cheered in agreement, the other Neanderthals who had come with Ashla and the leader raising their spears. Ashla was shocked at this; she could sure see why the humans were hated by these guys for so long, but was killing everyone the answer?

"You mean-" Ashla blinked rapidly, "The only way to revive yourselves is to kill everyone??" Her voice only let out a tiny bit of her disgust.

The leader turned back to her, his eyes reflection the urge for battle. Ashla was now feeling more unsafe here than ever. "Yes!!" The man shouted, "We must destroy our oppressors once and for all!!" Once again, battle cried and cheers of battle haunts echoed around the room, except even louder than before.

The man's eyes softened when he saw how frightened Ashla seemed, and indeed she was! She didn't know what they were going to do with her now!

"But yow," The leader told her, "Awe half-elf. Elves have true blood, the will ta forgive and make peace. It was not the elves faults for dis, so we wan't keel you. Besides, elves would never understawnd our hatred."

Ashla blinked, her pumping heart racing even more and she remembered that she actually did. She wanted her own uncle dead more than anything else! She however, now looked across the room to the rejected, abused, and snow hardened people around her, the Neanderthals. They wanted nothing more than to kill the sons and daughters of their own ancestors in revenge of what they did to their own. Ashla and this small race of humanoids were exactly the same. However, Ashla had been horrified when she had heard about their plans, scared to death of them. Yes, the thought crossed the child's mind that they were thinking massacre while she only wanted one guy's head, but regret tore her heart apart when she realised her own fault in this... She was so much, just like them!

BloodandBlades

02-08-14, 04:57 PM

As the two crept through the short, but vast ally ways of he city which Fulgur I's castle loomed over like a thief, Fulgur II and Ahiga kept rough burlap blankets over their heads to avoid being seen. Fulgur let Ahiga lead the way simply because he knew the city better, and as of now they needed to get to the edge of the bustling area so they could calculate their next plans without any troubles. The outside had been a dark and surprisingly creepy place. The streets seemed haunted and lonely. The poor economy of the country bleeding through as even dead corpses of animals and humans were simply left to rot.

They kept low as several drunken guards loudly sang together in a corner. They raced through the streets undetected by anyone out there - even the regular citizens who appeared to be carbon copies of one another. Simple zombies with no life in their eyes. The street was busy, and that was what allowed Fulgur and Ahiga to make it safely to the edge of the city. It barely had any buildings around it at all, and the ground was covered in more mud than even snow.

Ahiga motioned Fulgur up to an old house. It looked abandoned and run down; several windows were broken and even torn out completely. And he hadn't even went inside yet! The boy sighed, "I take it this is where we camp out?"

Ahiga turned to Fulgur and nodded, "Yes."

Ashla

02-13-14, 09:07 AM

Night time had fallen over Eiskalt again and Ashla was still inside the cave. The Neanderthals had been busy planning out the ceremony for Ashla's transportation, and for the most part Ashla had stayed silent through it all. The child was currently resting on a chair made of stone; it was a beautiful stone chair that seemed more like a love seat than anything else. There were many rags made of animal fur, which had been painted colors like purple and red entirely, and had some black cloth attached to the sides as well. Ashla felt rather warm in this cave, as all the fire, furs, and magic inside all kept the cold away, but Ashla remembered how freezing she had been outside, even with her cloak on. Ashla still had her cloak on, it was covering her like a blanket as she sleepily watched the Neanderthals bicker with each other. She finally lifted her heavy head from the side of the stone structure and opened her mouth to speak, "Hey," Ashla questioned, "Is there any way you guys could let me buy a fur coat?" She asked in an innocently tired voice, "I can pay..."

However, a female Neanderthal, who had a fur shawl but aside that was wearing a dark red robe made of cloth, laughed. "Buy a fur couwt??" She crackled, she was an old, fat lady, but she had the nicest smile of anybody here. Her long, white hair was messy as a bird's nest and matey as a knot. Her wrinkles, however, only showed how old and wise she must have been. She had been seated on another chair in the cave and also had been watching the men, "'Buy a fur couwt'??" She continued to laugh, "Oh dear, child! Look at yowrself!!" She kept pointing at Ashla's blue blouse. "'Oy, young lady, yow'll will need more van just a dumb couwt to keep ya warm at yur rate!!" She got up and smiled an old, sweet smile, "I'll make yow an entire new outfut, meant ta keep the cold outta yow elvish skins dare!"

"B-But-" Ashla was so surprised at her sudden offer, "You d-don't need to make a fuss over m-"

"Aw, no ishyew!" The lady threw her hand in a bashful chuckle, "Absolutely fwee!"

Ashla's eyes widened at this, "A-Are you sure?-"

"Yaw, yaw, yaw!" She got up, "Now, what outfit da ya like 'fo de color?"

Ashla blinked, grateful for such an offer. She had to ask one more time, "Are you sure you want to-"

"-De color, dear, de color?"

Ashla sighed, she sure was sure! "Th-Thanks... And the color, uh..." Ashla thought, the color would just be way too complicated! No, some more simpler questions would have to come first... "Could I actually choose the fabric first, please?"

The woman scoffed, "Sure thang. Come with me." She tilted her head towards a "hallway" burrowed into the cavern wall and dragged herself to it. Ashla silently followed as thoughts of the relationship between the Neanderthals and Humans... and Ashla and her uncle, returned to her.

If the case of her and her uncle was anywhere as bad as the Neanderthals and Humans, then what was she? Was Ashla cold hearted if she desired revenge? Was she a criminal who was no better than he was with a hardcore intent to kill? Was she a villain too? Was she evil?

No! Ashla shook her head as she walked through the surprisingly cold hallway. An empty, grey tunnel within the chunk of rock these poor Neanderthals lived in reflected Ashla's vacant, confused heart. Her very soul seemed to be stained by the sinful intention she had of killing a man. Even if that man was evil, he was still a man who was in need of saving. He was just in need of a new heart. Ashla gravely blinked as she and the old woman came up to an entirely different room.

This room was extremely dark if you didn't count the red magical portal glowing in the center of the round cylinder room. Bare rock and earth held status as the walls that kept everything together. The old lady walked over to the one thing that was not blank in the empty room. How many trunks, chests, and racks were present in the room that were absolutely stuffed with cloth, animal skins, and even some decorative minerals? A lot, that was how much! The woman opened a single, half rotted wooden chest full of black fabric and looked up at Ashla with a gleam of gusty excitement in her black eyes. "Shall we det starteds den?"

BloodandBlades

02-16-14, 07:56 PM

Fulgur sighed as he threw his cloak off the first thing they fled into the building.

Ahiga threw his own baggage off and then turned to a dusty old bookshelf and pulled an empty glass, riddled brown, off it. He started to walk into another room all together. Meanwhile, Fulgur turned to a half-rotted table and brushed all the dust he could off the weakened pine wood. Afterwards, he placed his crossbow, arrows, and cutlass on it. He however still kept his Lightning Blade on him. Fulgur turned on qua as Ahiga reentered the room with a clean glass of water, "You'll need this."

Fulgur took the cup and was immediately hit with its alarming coldness. Fulgur then noticed how over half of the cup was filled with broken ice. Fulgur glared up at Ahiga with his one blue eye, "This is a method of drinking water I hadn't seen since I left Eiskalt..."

Ahiga sighed, "Same here. Using that method of storing water is now illegal..."

Fulgur blinked rapidly, confused, "Illegal??"

That method was the usage of massive blocks of pure ice for a water supply. It would be kept outside or inside an isolated building outside and bits and pieces of it would be cut off and used as regular drinking water.

"Aye," Ahiga sat down on a rickety chair and continued to speak, "Your father forbids it. He forbids it because he only hands out rations of water out to families now. He wants this country to be more..." He looked up, as if he was searching for the right words, "... Uniformed now... And he says it wastes 'unneeded' water somehow..."

Fulgur II gritted his teeth, this had been the most effective way to store water for the middle and lower classes. For it to have been banned from usage was despicable! He knew, within that moment, that his father had to be stopped! No matter the cost...

Ashla

02-16-14, 07:58 PM

Ashla stepped slowly back into the light of the main cavern of the Neanderthals. She was no longer embodying the look of a simple child. Now she was in the apparel of a fighter, as she indeed was. Her outfit was slowly exposed to the light as she silently entered the room. The changes were vast, but indeed this now fitted Ashla's darker nature she was beginning to develop.

She wore mostly black on her body, with many layers of cloth to make sure the cold would stay out. At the simplest she wore a short sleeved blouse made of cloth. The top was for the most part, plain minus three blood red ribbons which crossed her chest in a fashion that was simple but was still ruffled up a bit. There were see through fabrics which still allowed the black shirt to stand out. The nylon met both sides of the ribbon lengths and covered her sides, the various swirls, curls, bolts, and other simple arts sown into the nylon was the real style of the shirt.

Ashla wore on her legs a pair of simple black leggings. Nothing really stood out except that the heavy cloth was doubled in layers, the outer layer being detachable for hotter temperatures, and was easily able to fend off the Eiskalt weather.

Around her torso and her waist, a skinny, small skirt was also worn. The pure black cloth also had a similar nylon outer design over it which covered the entire thing except the front. From there out was a rather long shawl that looked like nylon, but in fact had the durability of cloth. The black shawl was attached to Ashla's old belt and wrapped around everything from her waist down except the front.

Her arms were now covered from below her shoulder blades down to her fingers in a black, cloth gloves. The gloves covered her entire hands, but left all of Ashla's fingers exposed so she could still feel things! All that was now remaining of her old outfit was her black, wool cloak, her leg belt for her dagger, and her brown belt and boots. Ashla also had the rest of her old outfit inside a fur bag in case she would still want to wear it again.

Ashla placed her hand on her long sword. She was still silent, but she smirked in her sudden boost of confidence. "Hello?" She earnestly approached the Neanderthals who had brought her here, "Have you found a way to transport me, yet?"

The old lady who had helped Ashla with the new look came up behind her and placed a heavy fur shawl over her shoulder. For a moment, Ashla actually seemed to have gained her former, innocent spunk back as she proclaimed, "Cause I'm ready now!"

The leading member of the group smiled at her, "'Ee are." And he motioned to a space on the floor, cleared out and scribbled with some markings she couldn't make out. She stepped into the center of it then looked up... she was staring face to face with the massive flaming pit of magic within the center of the room. It glowed so many colors! Green, pink, yellow, orange... The Icebreaker was mesmerized for moment, then the leading Neanderthal placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Awight!" He told her, "We dall say de chant den you sawl be off!"

Ashla smiled at him, looking over her shoulder as he spoke. "Thank you."

He pulled his hand of her and threw it, "Id noffing, child! Noffing!"

Then a group of Neanderthals gathered around the entire room. They immediately began chanting in a language Ashla never heard before. As they chanted, the pool of magic began to glow and glimmer, rays of lights bursting right before her eyes. Ashla was tempted to step back, to cower. She was very afraid. With all of this going on, her eye could barely track the blinding effects of the Neanderthals chants. She wasn't even able to tell that the marking at her feet were glowing a dark green. The girl couldn't take it anymore! She dared not to move, but she closed her eyes and tightened her fists. She could hear the chanting getting louder, she heard foreign laughter which sent chills up her spine... And she heard an extremely odd sound. It was a sound like something was being sucked in at the speed of light. It was a sound like the winds going at remarkable speeds left and right and never stopping.

Then suddenly - it stopped.

The child felt lightheaded. So lightheaded in fact, that she immediatly collapsed. She felt herself land on something cold. Very cold. Ashla opened her eyes to see herself in front of a black castle. She blinked rapidly and looked around; she was no longer in the Neanderthals' caverns. She was now in Tyranta! It was an isolated area, she could recognize by the shadows from behind that she was in an ally. The girl still felt lightheaded, she grasped her head with her now gloved hand and still blinked. After a moment of sitting there, collapsed on the ground, she slowly staggered to her feet. Ashla Icebreaker then pulled her messy hair behind her ears and looked beyond the ally and onto the castle with determination.

She would find her cousin, and together they would stop the corrupt head of this sickened country.

BloodandBlades

08-05-14, 11:24 PM

Ahiga had made efforts to give Fulgur a suitable resting place, but the prince still wasn't satisfied. It was an old mattress filled with pointy straw, and pillow with the same features, and a pile of messy, small quilts. But the boy still took it anyways - it was better than the freezing floor Ahiga had chosen for himself, with nothing but two simple blankets. These blankets indeed looked heavy, but other than that Fulgur still agreed with himself over even the torn quilts being better.

Ahiga though, hadn't been sleeping while Fulgur attempted to get some shuteye. The man was in the room next to him using the Icebreaker's pike to dig into the heavy block of ice used for fresh water.

The loud banging and the ice clashing to the ground like glass caused Fulgur pulled his pillow over his head and moaned. Ahiga was constantly working himself over. Fulgur was trying to keep his energy up though - trying.

... His attempts weren't working out so well.

At least, he knew his thoughts wouldn't be tormenting him like usual. The heavy 'mining' of ice just in the other room easily overrided his mind's continuing ranting and screaming for Fulgur to destroy his father. Perhaps, Fulgur told himself, I could manipulate this into a lullaby in my head.

Ashla

08-05-14, 11:41 PM

Ashla kept her hood her her head and her cloak wrapped around her body as she snuck around the courtyard of her ancestors' own palace.

The Neanderthals did a terrible job picking a good spot for me to land...

The courtyard was neat and orderly. Small trees were planted in direct rows and mounds snow was covered from the stone walkways. It was hard for Ashla to hide behind every skinny tree out there to evade the guards, but her new outfit was helping her in volumes. It was nighttime in Eiskalt. While it was freezing cold and causing Ashla to turn a bit blue, the heavy amount of black she was wearing allowed her to sneak around much easier than she would ever have been able to in her old outfit. It still wasn't easy doing this though. Ashla felt as if her fingers would fall off her hand... and her hand would fall off her arm. She couldn't even feel the cold anymore it was so under zero degrees! Also, Ashla was trying to find a good borderline between slow and fast as her steel weapons constantly clanged and shook on her leather belt.

Ashla slipped behind a single tree, hoping that with how skinny she was she could remain unseen by one of the few guards within the area. Ashla let out a silent sigh of relief, her breath being visable even in this dreaded time of night.

Suddenly though, the child could not control herself. In an instant, Ashla found herself on the ground. Ashla blinked, she was shivering tremendously, signifying once again how weak the cold was making her. Ashla pulled her cloak over her numb body again, but it provided little insulation. What terrified her the most though was the sound of heavy footsteps in the snow, and voices.

"Hey, who's this kid?"

Ashla's shaking doubled as a second voice sounded from afar, "Who cares, if she's trespassing the king's garden you gut her!"

Ashla's instincts kicked in. She drew her long knife and swiftly turned to face the guard, attempting to guard an incoming hit from a spear. In her own frailness, the knife was knocked out of the Icebreaker's hand. Ashla Rose Icebreaker moaned and fell to the ground, defeated.

She began to hyperventilate rapidly, even her already impaired sight to fade into a series of blurs and colors. Her mind couldn't even register that this could be it. Any moment now, her opponent could strike her down at any moment, her life taken...

... Yet, even though she couldn't hear it, her existence was being sparred.

"Hey, let's not kill her and take her to the king instead. Poor thing seems too young and pretty to be finished out here in the cold."

"Aw, fine, have it your way... Don't blame me if he sentences you to be beheaded for this!"

Whatever was happening next, or even within this moment, Ashla was unable to track. She had now fallen to the ground, out like a rock.

BloodandBlades

08-06-14, 12:06 AM

Fulgur woke up slowly in a very uncomfortable sleeping position. He found himself wrapped in multiple quilts, laying in his side at the edge of his straw bed. He instantly got up, despite his grogginess, and stepped onto the floor. His boots were still on his feet.

Now that it was bright in the morning, he could look around the room with a little more understanding of what was going on. His bed was shoved into a corner, the rest of the room being left bare and dusty from years of abandonment. The Icebreaker rubbed his good eye and stepped into the next room where he saw Ahiga sleeping soundly in his two blankets on top of a wooden counter. Fulgur rolled his eyes and looked to the table, cluttered with his supplies and multiple bottles of water. The floor was flooded with water; a shattered, half melted block of ice stashed against the wall. One chair was broken, the other was still in one piece and was standing unlike the other chair which happily floated along. Fulgur growled, he dare not step into this room!

He threw his cape behind him as he turned back to his own room and stalked across to the only room in this dumb old house with a door attached. He carelessly flung it open and saw that the ground was covered with large a moose-fur rug. Across the small room was a single shelf with many books, pots, and other small accessories. Fulgur grinned at the sight of books, digging into one always cheered him up. The child walked over to the shelf in front of him and scanned the weak shelves in search for a proper book. After finding one, a smaller sized book with a yellow cover entitled Lavender Golds, he walked back into his room and sat on his bed, continuously being sucked into the wrinkled and ale stained pages.

Ahiga can take care of his own mess when he wakes up... Jerk...

Ashla

08-06-14, 12:38 AM

Ashla awoke surprisingly warm. She awoke to find herself covered in a single, blue blanket. At first she was calm... until she realized where she was.

A dungeon.

The girl instantly threw herself over to the bars and grasped them with her hands. Her palms were covered by her gloves, yet the freezing bars still stiffened Ashla's fingers. She was breathing heavily, her eyes crisp with her family's frosty eyes. How could she have let herself get captured like that?? The plan was simple, Ashla scolded herself, Get out, get Fulgur, get back in, kill the king, get out again.

Before Ashla could abuse herself anymore, the heavy sound of a key turning drew her sharp attention to a heavy steel door. As Ashla's eyes faded back to blue, a guard pushed the door open with a key in his hands. Through the door stepped another guard, fully dressed in armor and armed with a spear and a buckle. Then in stepped another man, fully dressed in dark blue robes. His hair was long and his skin was fair. He carried a golden greatsword on his back, but everything else on him was casual attire. Ashla blinked in confusion, her chaos filled mind not being able to track who this man was.

"Good," The man spoke in a voice as cold as Hell was hot, "You are awake."

Ashla stood to her feet, her boots making soft echoes across the cell. Her eyes showed no fear as she spoke to the man, "Who are you?"

The royally dressed man chuckled and stepped closer to her cell, which remained locked itself, "I am a man much more worthy of my title than you."

Suddenly, it all came together in Ashla's mind. This was him. This was her dreaded uncle. Cold, cruel, vengeful, and vague. This was the man who took everything from Ashla since before she was even born. This was Fulgur I Icebreaker.

The girl let go of the bars, as she was shaking too much to keep holding onto them. She glared at him, barely containing the tears wanting to form in her eyes. She literally went pale within a minute of a deep but silent tension. She was ticked.

"Why..." Ashla spat venom at her uncle, "W-why... Di-iid..."

He just stood there, remaining still and silent as he watched her.

"Wh-h-hyy-y-... did... ... Why did you do this to me!?!"

Ashla's eyes turned back to her family's signature glare. Her shaking had stopped and her hands were in extremely tight fists, going red. "Why did you forsake me?" her voice screamed pain, yet it didn't scratch with a face of tears. She bit her lips until it bled, her entire body scrunched up into one of pure, unlimited, hatred. A hatred that could not be contained. Meanwhile, Fulgur I just stood there. He looked down to her, his tall figure remaining unmoved. His expression stayed the same, his eyes were filled with loathing.

"You were never meant to be."

The younger Icebreaker, at the other side of the set of bars, growled.

"You never was meant to live." Fulgur I continued, "You deserve to die." He slowly turned away from her and steadily paced the cold room. "You threaten the preservation of my family's oh, so sacred abilities. This bloodright belongs to those only to those of our distinct bloodline." He turned back to Ashla, "It does not belong to you."

Ashla's voice came out threateningly raspy, "That's it??" And those words were all she could muster. Just because of who she was born under? That was it? Why?! The poor child could not understand it. Once again, she fell to the ground. Tears formed in her eyes and dripped onto the stone floor beneath her knees. She could not speak. She wanted to throw so much at this man, she wanted to destroy him with her own words. Yet she remained there, petrified, as that man exited the room, the two guards following. They left her alone. Ashla blinked once, then she pulled her hands to her face as her salty tears flowed like a river.

That was it. That was the only reason.

BloodandBlades

08-06-14, 12:51 AM

His head buried inside his third book, Fulgur found himself reading without a care. Ahiga had learned to let him be after he'd ignored him, and Fulgur was left on his own. Whenever Ahiga started calling his name out again, Fulgur had growled before digging his head back into his book again.

But he would not be left to this peacefulness any longer. Ahiga walked into the room and called out again. "Fulgur!"

The boy threw the book onto the side of the bed and looked up violently, "What!?"

Ahiga simply motioned him to follow. Fulgur found himself with no option but to oblige. After getting his precious shoes wet in the shallow waters in the kitchen, the boy walked out through the front door. Snow had fallen during the night and now covered the city beyond as far as the eye could see. However, six boots were still splotched in thick mud, suggesting that the snow hadn't covered the ground the best it could have done. Plus that, the air carried the stench of horse dung. Fulgur looked up from those boots to see two people.

One of them was a man who like Ahiga, annoyed the heck out of Ahiga. Unlike Ahiga though, this man was much older and lacked military experience. The second one was a young boy, ripe in his youth. Still a child with much to learn, yet he was permitted to carry a knife at his side. This boy was Zosimos, a child who annoyed Fulgur remarkably. The last person though was boy with potential fighting skills. He however, was much younger than Ahiga though older than Fulgur II by several years. Brown eyes met one dark blue eye. Despite the gap of years Fulgur could recognize him instantly.

Ahiga's low pitched voice sounded from behind them all, "You two must be cold. Please, come inside."

Ashla

08-06-14, 12:56 AM

Ashla sighed; here she was again, back where she started! Here she was facing her greatest enemy - yet her family- again... She scoffed, "And I call you 'uncle'." Some of her hair fell over her face, covering her right eye. She glared up at the man, her eyes showing a mixture of anger and amusement. Meanwhile, her enemy returned her glare with a look of nothing but pure hatred.

He sneered at her, "And I call you 'niece'." He returned her insult.

It was a crystal clear night. In the heights of summer, but despite that Eiskalt had mounds of snow covering its shores. The deathly dark, smooth water their boat floated upon still seemed terribly cold. The moon above was lighting up the black night sky, reinforcing the stars' sparkling lights. Despite the fact that everything around them was nothing but cold and beautiful, Ashla very much was having enough of these stupid guards holding her arms behind her back. On her knees still, Ashla rolled her eyes, "So what are you going to do now?" She eyed the sword that her uncle had, sheathed on his leather belt.

He was towering before her; his eyes were reflecting her family's Icebreaker talents and his eyes showed the fiercest anger in his crisp ice glare. His eyes were candy coated with a layer of aggressiveness. Despite his terrifying glances, his mouth shared Ashla's smirk, "Indeed." His hand fell on his blade, but his grip was very loose. A moment later his hand drifted off and was clenched, "But not by the swift swipe of my blade, dearie, no. That death would be too quick for you to feel at all. No, another more harsher death would be much more suitable for the likes of you."

Ashla couldn't help but gulp, "Wh-what do you have in mind then?" She tried not to sound fearful, but her conflicting feelings of just about everything right now were getting the better of her by the minute. She in turn sounded rather frightened.

The man laughed as he bent down to her, "You will take a little dip in this great lake we are sailing on. In this... splendid night, you will sink beneath the waves and shall never return." He ordered the men behind her with a hand signal and moments later Ashla could hear something metal fasten against her ankles. Her eyes widened in fearful realization, she was really going to die!

She was hoisted up to her feet by her oppressor as he jeered, "You will finally get what you've always deserved."

Ashla's head tilted to the left, "Still judging people based on their heritage alone I see. Have fun being lonely for the rest of your idiotic life." She spat.

Fulgur I chuckled, "And you," He replied, "Have fun dying." Ashla felt him try to push her overboard, but she braced herself and was able to stop him. She needed to tell him something.

"Look, before you kill me, you need to know something." She held his deep, hateful glare, "I will never forgive you."

He only kept glaring before whispering, "What?"

Ashla smiled, her heart was heavy but free at the same time as she spoke her free choice, "I will never forgive you. And neither will somebody else." She was referring the her cousin and Fulgur I's son.

However, her uncle still seemed unshaken as he simply pushed her overboard. Ashla could briefly note the side of the red wood boat before she sank beneath the suddenly foamy waves below.

BloodandBlades

08-06-14, 01:22 AM

Three men now stood in Fulgur II's room. Ahiga and David. Up until now they had been getting to know each other. Now, after shaking hands, David left Ahiga and walked up to Fukgur. "You, sir, have caused a lot of unneeded trouble." The elderly man shook his finger at him.

Fulgur sighed and turned his head, refusing to be rebuked like some young child. "Aye, sir..." Fulgur's cheeks were turning red. Just across the room a seven year old Tabor family member was watching all of this.

David sighed, scratching his half bald head, "Well, I guess we'll all be back together soon... If your friend can find Ashla in time."

David scowled, Oh joy... He hadn't counted on his annoying cousin to come back into his life already. All he wanted to do was use Ahiga to break out of prison, then once again attempt destroy his father ... alone.

Fulgur placed his hands on his hips, sitting on his straw bed, and refused to make eye contact with David while he still rambled on. "I almost lost my child, your cousin ran away, and you dragged a royal guard into all of this! If you had just stayed and allowed us to hatch a plan"...

... Blah, blah, blah...

... ... ... "We would not be this close to danger! Who knows, maybe Ashla lost her life already! Maybe she may have been tortured or even"...

... Just shut up already...

... "The king's men could march in and arrest us at any time, you"...

... Won't you just drop this dumb conversation already? ...

... "And I mean never again, do you understand??"

Fulgur blinked once before lying, "Yes sir."

David leaned back again and rubbed his back. He gave the Icebreaker a quick smile. "Good." He then turned back and walked over to Ahiga to talk again. Fulgur looked over to the child digging into one of Fulgur's books in the corner of the room, uneasy and uncontent. Fulgur sighed and walked out of the small room. This place wasn't all that homey anymore.

~~~

Fulgur II, heir to his family's throne and the prince of Eiskalt, looked out from the roof of a burnt, old, and run down house. He looked over the city of Tyranta and up into its landmarks. The Icebreaker mansion was a rather long ways downtown. It was where Fulgur had lived life as a child. Back then, it had been a happy life. His mother was sweet, his nanny was kind, and his father...

... His father wasn't anything like he should have been.

Fulgur turned his eye to the palace where his uncle currently resided. There he lurked, waiting, for his son to make his next move. The heir gritted his teeth, a high pitched sound coming out that did not sound pretty. The boy swore, in that moment, that he alone would resolve everything. He swore right there that he would change things. He would slay his parent figure and turn back time. He would bring back his nanny, he would bring back his mother. He would rekindle his nation's wealth and give this country what it deserved. Within that moment, Fulgur II Frigida Icebreaker swore one thing.

He would avenge his long forgotten past. He would sway his hand over over this land and reduce the brokenness into everlasting fire and thaw this land's frost to gold. This was it, this was the last stand. This was the last fight, the last cause left to put things back into order - and back into the way things used to be.

Ashla

08-06-14, 01:55 AM

The currents of the water pulled her under. The teenager flailed helplessly, reaching her freezing numb hands for the ever dimming lights of the land above. She could not see a thing, the water was destroying her sight... and her lungs. She could not breathe. No matter how much she threw her arms and legs about, the chain and cannonball attached to her leg kept dragging her down.

Panic was the most fluent thing racing inside her mind, Pure terror and fear that it was finally over. Ashla had to admit, she was never this scared before in her entire life. This barely bested seeing her uncle's blood seeping under the table. No! Ashla mentally screamed over and over, It cannot end like this!! Please! She had reached her end's wits, Please... spare me!

As if her cries had suddenly aided her, she could see something come up to her. It was all so beautiful. The figure before her shinned in a light which somehow granted her a sense of light. Now she lost every drop of her strength, her limbs going limp in surrender. This must be her angel, coming to take her up to the Heavens. However, when she barely felt the figure take her arm with one, sturdy hand, Ashla's eyes briefly snapped into sanity again. This was no angel. His wonderful brunette locks, his perfect skin, his shining eyes...

This was Julius Tabor, the rightful heir of Eiskalt.

Somehow, within that next moment, the chain dragging her down was broken. Suddenly she felt arms around her waist, strong and securing arms. Ashla's eyes were crossed out, her eyelids not bothering to close though she was barely hanging by a thread, Any seconds now and the lack of air to her lungs would surely sign her fate. She did catch how close she was to a beam of light. It came up closer, brighter, stronger...

~~~

"Do not fear, child. You are not finished yet."

Ashla's eyes met the eyes of a much stronger looking person. A full grown man in shinning, bright armor. He had long, pitch black hair that reached down to his shoulders. His eyes shone in everlasting wisdom and an unbreakable zeal that could not be matched. Ashla, meanwhile, could nothing. She couldn't even tell if she was breathing. She looked around rapidly at the sites before her. There was an awe jerking blue and black light shining as far as the eye could see. This was nothingness, and yet she was resting on solid ground. This ground narrowly reflected her face. Pale skin, a round nose, and lush black hair. The looked like ice.

Ashla looked back up to the man standing before her. So many new faces recently, when would this all end? "Who are you?"

The man simply walked up to her and placed a reassuring hand, full of life, on her shoulder. She couldn't feel anything else, yet she could feel this. The man still smiled earnestly, "You are safe now. You have been granted a form pf protection that none can take from you."

Ashla's eyes darted around and then back to the man, she was so confused and paranoid. What of earth was going one, "Wh-where am I??"

The man stood up, and immediately a blinding light began to form around her. "We shall meet again, Ashla Icebreaker, the chosen one of your unfortunate, last generation."

~~~

Ashla's eyes flickered open. She found herself looking up into a cloudless sky with sparkling stars twinkling from and east to west. She couldn't feel herself breathing, but she felt air being forced in and out of her lungs instead. Ashla blinked, feeling the light she had felt before dying like straw burning in a fire. She realized that somebody was performing CPR on her...

...Somebody...

If she could have spoken within that moment, the boy practically lying on top of her would be receiving a long and vengeful lecture. But on the other note, Ashla suddenly found herself relieved. Even more, she realized how happy she was to see Julius Tabor again. Finally, somebody she could recognize! He lifted his head away from her's and looked down on her with undying care. They were both soaking wet, freezing through their clothes, on a sandy beach that seemed good as dead. Ashla was now breathing on her own again, even within her heavy panting she just had to speak. "J-Julius-"

The boy beside her placed his finger on her lips, shushing her. "Don't talk, it will only exhaust you more." And with that, he got up and picked her up. He held her bridal style in his arms. Ashla, for once, welcomed every single touch. She longed for whatever warmth he had, as she was so cold she couldn't feel mostly anything anymore. After a moment he began to carry her away. Ashla blinked, feeling dead both outside and inside but still in sync with the world enough to know she wasn't dreaming.

"H-... How did you get here?" Ashla whispered, her voice too weak to barely be heard at all by anyone.

However, the boy carrying her seemed to understand. He continued walking, carrying her to an unknown destination, before replying her.

"It's a long story..."

Ashla

08-06-14, 01:56 AM

This thread is FINALLY finished and is being submitted for judging! Hope this thread is at least interesting enough... I tested a lot of techniques and plot driving devices in this. Ashla also got some considerable character development...

Lye

11-13-14, 01:34 PM

Thread Title: On The Concept of Hatred (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?26306)
Judgment Type: Full Rubric
Participants: BlueGhostofSeaside & BloodandBlades

Plot: 13/30

Story- 5/10
Overall, this thread pushed the character's plots into drastic directions. What is already known about them is changed and given a depth that aims to pay off in later threads. With the introduction of David and Zosimos, the reader is given a greater insight to both Ashla and Fulgur's past. Considering the light and less progressive threads in the past, this information helps to set the dramatic precedence of their origin. Using the events, dialogue and setting, the reader is shown these elements as opposed to being told in a passive voice. This helps to give the story strength and presence. The weakness, however, resides in the delivery. The opening scene does little to describe why Ashla and Fulgur are together as well as lacks purpose for them making this venture. Almost immediately, it moves to them dropping into a cave and passing out. The elements to which they were subject to, also had little explanation and posed open ended questions down the road. The gasses happened to be one of these questions. While it is true some caverns have dangerous gas build ups, these are usually fatal. Not only this, but they often occur in tropical or volcanic areas. In the tropics, decomposing matter usually creates excess CO2 and methane. In volcanic ridges, you have several types of harmful gasses including methane, carbon monoxide, sulfur dioxide, and other hydrogen based gasses. Usually, these gasses are trapped in closed chambers, yet the rescuers had access to the two and the gas did not affect whatever part of the caverns they resided. While the passing out proves for a plot mechanic & scene change, it seemed forced and only served the story as a transitional device. If the two had entered the cavern and gradually noticed the gases, then struggled to escape, and ended up passing out to overexposure, it would have helped build tension which would keep the reader interested as well as allow more time to explain the situation.

Setting- 5/10
While the setting was given detail, the detail was often repetitive and bland. Though clear and easy to understand, it lacked presentation and execution. In between posts number 8 & 9, the word cold had been used a total of 10 times. Given the lengths of the posts, this is excessive repetition. While there was a clear effort to emphasis the frigid wasteland, other words and descriptors could have been used. White expanse, ivory crested ridges, frigid, arctic, tundra, shivering, biting, burning, are some descriptors that can also emphasis the aspect of winter. Describing that icicles had formed horizontally or diagonally on branches would also imply sub-zero temperatures and relentless wind. Blueing of ones skin is another element to exercise extreme cold.

Pacing- 3/10
Given the sudden and abrupt introduction and the repetition, the pacing suffered severely. However, over the period of posts 6-8 and the closer, there were several scenes that were executed extremely well. Unfortunately, the repetition of descriptors and forced nature of some internal character descriptors shattered the potential. The over usage of "head pounding" and even a break where present tense was used, ruined what could have been an exceptionally engaging story event.

Character: 13.5/30

Communication- 4/10
Dialogue served well to further the progression of the story. In some critical scenes, the dialogue seemed out of place or forced. Otherwise, character interactions seemed natural. Aside from the repetition and abrupt intro transition, the communication relayed through character action was much stronger than some of the speech used. David's speech seemed to be the oddity of the four. For a man in his sixties, his dialogue seemed a bit young. While this isn't necessarily a character flaw, his actions and description indicated a more seasoned, worn, and wise individual. Considering he took care of Zosimos for such a long time, a certain level of compassion and care would also shine through. While some lines reflected this well, others fell short. It would also make sense for David to pick up on the mood from both Fulgur and Ashla. Especially during Fulgur's darker thoughts. By using David's experience over the years, this element could have been exercised to build scene tension and elaborate the situation.

Action- 4.5/10
Much of the pros and cons in action are mentioned above in the other areas. Ashla and Fulgur seemed to keep to understandable norms for their characters. Fulgur still seems a little too jovial for the brooding character he seems to be intended for. Subtle mannerisms and passive aggressive dialogue can help emphasis his personality more. David and Zosimos were off the mark. David's weaknesses are mentioned above. From the reading, Zosimos seemed to be much younger than the other three. Although the harsh conditions can mature an individual, Zosimos didn't come across as a young child or a war torn survivor. He fell somewhere in an awkward middle that needed more attention to sway in any one direction. At present, he felt as though an unimportant figure in the grander scheme. Just another plot device to help link the characters to the past.

Persona- 5/10
While Ashla seemed strong in her usual personality, the others had momentary breaks or incongruences that pulled the reader back. When picking a personality, it is a good idea to try and shift into a similar train of thought to help facilitate how a character would and wouldn't act. This technique takes time, but the more a writer is exposed to the variety of personalities out there, the more they will be able to recall and utilize in the writing. Ashla felt on the mark. Fulgur lacked the brooding and subtlety the story seemed to suggest. David was close to the mark, but could have used more fatherly qualities. Zosimos is stated above.

Prose: 15.5/30

Mechanics- 5/10
Overall, the mechanics was decent. Repetition in word usage and sentence structure hurt in this area. Over usage of "and" where commas should be also hurt. There was a tense change in post 7 and a few misspellings. If proof reading is missing these errors, as a sibling, family member, or friend to give it a glance. Reading your writing out loud, although can feel silly, can really help hone in on issues with flow, punctuation, and repetition.

Clarity- 4.5/10
Based on the points listed above with inconsistencies in character persona and repetition, clarity suffered. Resolve those areas to score higher.

Technique- 6/10
Quite possibly the strongest area of the writing. Usage of the italicized "this" in post 8 worked nicely. It is a standard rule of thumb to use emphasis like this in threes, not fours. If a forth usage is desired, it should differ and finalize the emphasis with something unique from the others. The provocative questions to get the reader involved, also served as a good technique. Again, in post 8. Usage of formatting is also well done - not too much, not too little. Elements of foreshadowing and the cliffhanger also added to suspense and overall thread execution. As usage of descriptors become more complex, new techniques should naturally accompany that and improve the score here. Experiment some more with different techniques. Try finding literary usages that appeal best to your style and work them in.

Wildcard: 8/10

So, I have to say this is the best thread I have read by you so far. You really created a purpose and potential for all your characters. You really emphasized that dynamic relationship Ashla and Fulgur are going to have moving forward. This, on top of the turmoil from having her country ravaged yet again is really going to create some amazing threads down the line. Be careful not to over emphasis the hate, anger, and desire for revenge. Work it in gradually and allow a few moments to stand out from the rest. Then, when you feel the characters have developed to the point you want, climax all the emotional tension into one pinnacle scene. Use it to tie off loose ends leading up to it and open up more questions to move forward. I really want to see you utilize more of Eiskalt's lore in your threads and really pull in a reason for Ashla and Fulgur's hate. If I were you, I would bring David and Zosimos back in a later thread where the two are deviating far off the righteous path to emphasize their drive and determination. Use a scene like that to pull at the heart strings. I see a lot of potential here. I can see you have pieces starting to fall into place and these plot lines are becoming more natural to you. Keep it up and watch out for the little mechanical nuances and you'll be writing 70s or even JCs. Remember to proof read. Put a post in word and come back to it in a day or two. Read it out loud and see if anything sounds funky. And always read the whole thread through before submittal. Use the rubric to help provoke questions like, "Did I keep in character?" "Does this person's actions make sense?" and always remember that a good plot has to answer the Who, What, Why, Where, and When. Why is always the biggest, because that is always the hook to pull the reader in. "Why did they do that?" "Why is this happening?"

Good work BG. Keep it up.

Final Score: 50/100

BlueGhostofSeaside (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?16205) receives:

1,900 EXP!
220 GP!

Congratulations!

BloodandBlades (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?16999) receives:

1,320 EXP!
190 GP!
Steel Pickaxe

Congratulations!