In which our hero discovers that when it rains... [Archive]

BlackAndBlueEyes

02-03-14, 07:48 PM

Let's rewind the clock just a bit, so we can get you caught up to speed.

So in a... past life, we'll say, I was an assassin. I had the temper, but not the temperament. I could end a mark's life as quick and efficiently as the best of them, but it never was an act I truly enjoyed. I longed to do other things with my life than take others'--I wanted to build, to create. So I did what any sensible person would do: I murdered a scholar and used his brain as part of a rite to summon a demon, with whom I made a deal to exchange all my knowledge of the art being an assassin in exchange for countless years-worth of experience and know-how regarding artificing, alchemy, and bioengineering.

Okay, yeah, that went all well and good (except for the part where the asshole took my arm as well); but in doing so I apparently pissed a few people off.

You see, this scholar was a member of one of those vague-yet-menacing secret cults you often hear about that infest Corone. This one was named the Magnificent Order of Boob-Handed Brothers of Derping Around or something like that; and boy, were they pissed that I sacrificed one of their elder brothers in order to gain incredible knowledge.

So, they did what any sensible occult organization would do; they captured the blasphemer (i.e. me), burned down their bookstore and secret laboratory, and forced them to fight in the Citadel against someone who could easily capitalize on their weaknesses as a way to say, "Hey, we don't really appreciate what you've done, and we don't quite like you right now."

And in response, in a fit of rage, I might have kidnapped the elder brother who forced me to fight in the hallowed halls of the Radasanth institution and possibly cracked his skull and snapped his neck in a back alley, and maybe left his rotting corpse in a barrel of offal near the charred remains of my bookstore.

I'm pretty sure you can imagine that things have escalated since then.

And now, I find myself traveling south with a small merchant caravan along the dusty roads in Concordia, traveling towards Serenti. I had a few friends who worked the ports in the Tylmerande capital, and I was certain that one of them would help me get out of this friggin' country and hopefully away from the Magnificent Bastards Club. I kept it low-key getting the hell out of Radasanth, telling nobody--not even my faithful and trusty employee Nell, for safety reasons--that I was leaving Corone. I packed up what meager belongings I had left and signed up with the caravan, offering protection services and some minor tinkering tricks in exchange for their company and a place by their fire every night.

The first few days were uneventful as we traveled south out of Radasanth, and into the expansive and beautiful forests of Conordia. There were no sightings of bandits ready to raid the caravan for its riches and goods, and I breathed a rare sigh of relief that no cultists waited in the shadows for night to fall.