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View Full Version : "Frozen Over Forever" Ongoing Workshop



Ashla
03-22-14, 08:08 PM
Okay, I'm sure everybody knows what the rules are by now, so...

Hi, guys! BlueGhost here. I'm posting an ongoing workshop for my first true solo thread: Frozen Over Forever.

You guys can post tips on anything you catch, but I do have some particular questions on improvements for...
- Was this story able to keep your interest past the first or first few paragraph(s). If not, how could I improve my attention grabbing methods?
- I'm currently trying to write a "complicated" personality change in my main character Ashla, who up until this point had genially been portrayed as carefree, innocent, and spunky. Her former personality still will be true, but Ashla's darker side will be much more clear to the outside more. She's going to be getting a lot more aggressive, emotional, quick to anger, and she's just going to come off as kind of cold. I already showcased some of this change in On the Concept of Hatred, but this is where the majority takes place. The war is really going to take its toll on my poor character. I would like to ask for any suggestions on how to run this process across smoothly. What I wrote so far of this story (about eight posts worth - I've been doing a lot of this on Microsoft Word) seems pretty jagged and confusing in my eyes. So some help on this area would be much appreciated.
- More than one person on this site have told me I have a "unique" or "unusual" writing style. This style resolves around my tone which is less formal but carries a lot more teeny, wild, and sometimes sarcastic wordings in the narration. I was given the suggestion on taking this toning a step further and implying it, alongside the traditional techniques, much more often. Some tips on how to do that would also be a great help.

Okay, so for the first like, eight posts, I already have it written on my computer so I'm forcing myself not to spam any further and keep my posting time stretched...

And now that I'm done blabbering and being boring and annoying, here's the thread link:
Frozen Over Forever (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?27198-Frozen-Over-Forever-Solo)

Ashla
07-06-14, 11:51 AM
Is anyone willing to read this over and comment what they think, please?

Alyssa Snow
07-07-14, 10:46 AM
I'll try to get you something by the end of the week BG. Feel free to PM me to keep me reminded.

Ashla
08-05-14, 10:29 PM
Other than Lye (who rocks), is anyone interested in looking this over?