The Door to Worse

[Underbunny]

Thick cables in red and blue hung from the metal rafters like forgotten festival decorations. They appeared limp and lifeless, but Binky was certain that he could hear them humming. Electricity normally didn't make a sound, but when it did... He gulped and flattened his long ears as best he could, lest he become one with that quiet torrent as he and his superior walked down the dimly lit hall.

“Buck up, Binky Boy!” guffawed Commander Puddles Butterworth, apparently mistaking the ear bob for apprehension (not that Binky wasn't very very apprehensive). “This is a big day! An old battlefield. Our triumphant return. Some science-y future-ish wot wot.”

“You could take someone else along. Maybe,” Binky offered in a not-so-subtle plea. He couldn't bring himself to look his commander in the eye, or even the chest. Butterworth was in full ceremonial attire; long coat of the royalest blue, blocky raised epaulettes, and a smorgasbord of medals stretching from just below his fuzzy chin to the middle of the coat where his stoutness strained the buttons. The rabbit head crest of the Commander of Her Majesty's Royal Hare Forces was prominent, and arrayed around it were the trappings of every station one conquered on their way to that lofty peak. There were other medals as well, little spoken of but just as immaculately shined, such as the Most Royal Sharpshooter award, a decade old and formed like a bolt taking out a bird in flight... right through the eye. A large letter “S” was pinned next to it, a prize that his granddaughter won in her first spelling bee and bid him to take on his travels. That one always made Binky smile. As well, the one that featured a pair of very un-rabbitly sharp teeth tearing into something that dripped a single polished drop of red. Many believed it was in recognition of some bloody business that he had gone on at the behest of Her Majesty; some horrible but necessary deed that he never spoke of. It was only during the drunken celebration for their last campaign that Binky -and Binky alone- had learned the truth. Fufuberry pie eating contest, first place, age eight.

“You want to know why I chose you?” Butterworth asked in a calmer voice. Binky looked at him directly. It was rare that the commander let slip that special 'oomph' he used to stir the world's largest military to action. “After everything we've been through, my boy,” he removed his monocle and wiped it against an unadorned section of his coat, “After our victories in that very place, after all that you have done since to prove yourself, there's no hare I'd rather have at my side in the serpent's jaws.”

“Serpents?” Binky asked, wide-eyed, “That wasn't in the briefing.”

Butterworth's ears twitched once. They would have grazed the wires above if the hall hadn't deposited them onto a wide stairwell. “Hypothetical. But, who knows what we'll face. I need you on your toes, boy. Back straight. Ears up. Eyes... like... a... hawk.” He got very close as Binky stood with back straight, ears up, eyes unblinking, and only the faintest of twitches under the left one. “Good!” Butterworth bellowed at a modest decibel, “Go on down the stairs, quick hop. There's someone you'll no doubt be surprised to meet.”

Binky was about to ask when a sickly-looking guard approached them. “Commander,” he said weakly with an awkward salute, “Someone is... uh... here to see you.” He looked very queasy, which didn't help Binky's butterfly-stomach in the slightest.

“Right-ho. Back to your post, then,” the larger-than-life (and marginally larger than his coat) commander said as he marched up the stairs from which the guard had come.

With a deep breath, Binky descended the few steps to a door that was braced open. He crossed the threshold like a hare willingly and begrudgingly entering a nightmare. But, his fear suddenly took a tea break as he took the strange sights in. The ceiling high above was still a nest of cables. Some hung limply down like jungle vines, then connected to the workstations of at least twenty hares and bunnies in lab coats and spectacles. He could feel the collective might of Leporidae Academia radiating off of them. Their equipment, however, seemed unfit. Few had chairs. Half of the desks were just rejiggered camp tables. A few were actually sitting on the floor with consoles and controllers strewn about them like toys in a genius kit's playpen. All of it was connected by the thick cables as if spiders of silicone had left trails on their way to... something. The far side of the room to Binky's right was dedicated to a large raised platform with a huge metal ring laying horizontally on it. It wasn't much to look it. It didn't have sharp edges or red, creepy lights or anything that marked it as a doorway to horrors. Still, Binky made a conscious choice to look at the other side of the room.

There, near the ceiling, was a raised catwalk and a windowed room beyond. The commander's distinctive shape moved against the glare of monitors, and there was a patch of whiteness near him.

Binky let his eyes drift down, then sucked in a breath before his brain even comprehended what he was seeing. “TAR!” he called loudly.

The rabbit scientists all looked up, some surprised, some annoyed. The lone human at the back of the room (no, the lone human on the planet) also looked up. Even across the room, Binky recognized that distinctive glare, as it so happened to be cranked to maximum at this particular moment. Unmindful of anyone's reaction, Binky bounded across the room until his tummy was pressed to the back of the human's bulky desktop monitor. “You! Why are you- I never thought-” Words failed him against the torrent of rising emotion. It wasn't joy. “You bloody bastard! You teleported me into that bloody river with those females and wolves and- and- I still have sodding nightmares!”

The human reclined in what seemed to be a very plush chair, given the circumstances, and reached through greasy hair to massage his temples. “Splendid,” he drawled like a teacher with a failed test sitting on his desk. “Bonk, was it?”

“Binky,” the hare said as proudly as he could. “You owe me an apology for what happened on Althanas, the Gisela, those... banshees.” He shivered. “I swear, I don't know how they trust you with students.”

The man, on the verge of saying something, became very still. He looked down to his monitor, then to his knees. “I lost tenure,” he said coldly.

Binky blinked. “You lost ten years? You don't look that much older.”

“What?” the man said, brows climbing. Again his hands went to his head. “Father Brain, give me patience,” he muttered, then put on his teaching voice. “I lost my job, rabbit.”

Binky frowned, then steeled his furry jaw and sniffed. “Good. You brought students into a war zone.”

“Simulated war zone,” he corrected. “I'm not responsible for the madness that those Ai'Brone neanderthals turned it into. Regardless, I won't need them now. Not with this.” He gestured grandly to the device across the room. “Unimpeded, two-directional travel between worlds. I've been trying for so long. But, now...” He drifted off, tenting his fingers and already seeing all the worlds beyond.

Binky didn't look. He had already seen enough of it. “Well, you got here, didn't you?” he asked.

Again, the man looked down. “One-way trip. Hardly safe. But, there was nothing left for me there.”

The angry steam coming from Binky's ears finally puttered out. “How are TAR's minions these days?” he asked, if only to change the topic.

A very heavy and very defeated sigh answered him. “Just stop. My title of 'The Astounding Relativologist' is no more. And it was never meant to be shortened to... 'TAR'.” He almost choked on the word. Binky just wiggled his nose. “My name is Davium. If we could pretend that we met just now,” he suggested with a hand held forth. “Binky,” he said as respectfully as he could manage.

Binky sucked on his teeth and turned his head as he pondered. In doing so, he caught the eye-rolling glances of some of the rabbits who were so much smarter than him. “Davium,” he said with a sudden bought of sheepishness as he shook the man's small hand.

[No Bunny Knows]

All bunnying is pre-approved. Har har har... ugh.

The bright, pleasant day was warm and breezy, yet Poppy paid it no mind. Startled and (if she were a bit honest with herself) intimidated, Poppy stared at the building that was her destination. A veritable Franken-bunny of a building; the outer walls were a conglomeration of stone, metals and wood. It's uneven surface was dotted with several windows, both sunken and jutting. Poppy got the horrible thought that it was glaring sullenly at her, each mismatched window serving as a eye in some great pitiful, horrible beast.

“I say, Halt! Who goes there!”

Poppy squealed at the sudden sharp inquiry, her hands flying up to cover her mouth as if to catch the sound. The small basket she held in the crook of her arm banged painfully against her side. Poppy stared at the grey furred owner of the stuffy voice and played fitfully with the end of a long, silky white ear.

“Halt? I've been standing here for the last few minutes, waiting for someone to come out of the guard shack.”

“That, madam, is our Command Center. We coordinate security measures within...”

“Oh for the love of peas, Clary. Stop being such a trainee. You okay there, miss? Sorry about Clary there. He's new and full of sprouts. I'm Glenn, by the by.”

Poppy chuckled quietly at the offended 'Wot!... oi!' from Clary.

“It's okay. I'd like to see Commander Puddles Butterworth, please.”

“Why would some young thing like you be wanting to see the Commander?” Clary said suspiciously as he eyed Poppy's perpetually limp ears with a sneer.

“He's my Uncle, and I think I'll be telling him how utterly rude some of his guard staff are. You'll be peeling rutabagas in the kitchens for being so nasty when it wasn't warranted.”

“You lopped- eared little...” Clary began

“Clary, return to your desk. Now. “ Glenn ordered at the sputtering refusal from behind him as he stepped between Clary and Poppy.

“Here now darling, I'll escort you.” Glenn offered his arm, silently thankful that he had spent time that morning polishing the buttons of his uniform and the metal of the medals earned.

The hall through which Glenn led her was as bland and featureless as unsalted, steamed cabbage. Thick bundles of wires ran down the center of the high ceiling. Occasionally, one broke away from the pack to trail down the wall to a single light that was pinned to the wall by a wire cage.

“I'll be leaving you in the observation room to wait for your Uncle. It's very sweet of you to come visit him.”

“Thank you Glenn. Would you like an elderberry and honey muffin? I brought several for Uncle Butterworth but I'm sure he wouldn't mind me sharing with such a nice male.” Poppy shoved a golden muffin into Glenn's hand while he made polite noises about saving all of the muffins for the Commander and the unnecessary kindness. Smiling expectantly up at Glenn, Poppy waited in the doorway of a room.

“Do try a bite. Everyone tells me I make the most interesting things to eat.” Poppy bobbed her head, smiling joyfully when he took a bite. Slowly chewing, the russet coloring of Glenn's fur turned a darker shade of red before he swallowed hard and coughed a bit.

“Sorry 'bout that. I've got a crumb stuck in my throat. It's delicious. I'll take it back to the guard hut to finish with a spot of tea. You have a nice visit, dear.” Poppy watched as Glenn hurried down the hall still coughing to clear his throat.

“Mmmm, perhaps I should have offered to conjure up a spot of tea for him. Poor man...”

From the doorway, Poppy stared at the bank of squat machines and monitors that had taken up residence along the long, blank wall. So many computers... and buttons. I wonder what they need them all for. Opposite, the wall was replaced by thick glass, broken by a door frame that seemed to lead into a large room. Voices drifted up from below, so many that Poppy found she couldn't distinguish any words.

Wandering innocently, Poppy stretched out a hand to poke at the buttons. The blue one seemed particularity alluring.

“Don't touch that!” A female's voice snapped. Poppy froze, guilty, and snatched her hand away from the panel. She turned around to apologize. The chagrin that was etched into her features vanished faster than a bunny's virginity at her first festival as she spotted her favorite uncle entering in behind a very annoyed and official looking scientisty type .

“Heya Unkie Butters!”

[Underbunny]

“How are the kits, though? Really.”

Davium shrugged. “Fine, last I checked. Some trauma counselling and, you know, monetary damages.” He waved dismissively. “They all graduated with the highest honors, no credit given to me. Some are even retired now.”

The hare gave him a very quizzical droop of the ears. It was a testament to the man's adaptability that he read it so easily. “Time manipulation experiment. Some of them gained, by estimates, a few decades. I think the University held that against me also, even though it was performed off campus and in their own time.”

“Uh huh,” Binky said, fidgeting. He toyed with the idea of searching for the commander, rather than tread water here in the deep end of the intellectual pool.

“I'll be” Davium suddenly whispered like a young bunny whose crush twitched his whiskers at her. His eyes were locked on the screen and growing wider by the second. He spun the monitor around and asked, “What do you see there, rabbit?” with excitement that didn't match his worry wrinkles.

Amid a mountain of numbers and words that made his head spin, Binky saw a blue line steadily treading across one section of the screen. Its tail end looked jagged, violently so, but the leading point had levelled out nearly as straight as the horizon. “Nothing,” Binky said with a dumbfounded shrug, “It's smooth.”

“Exactly,” Davium said pointedly. His entire body seemed to pulse with the eureka moment that was leagues over Binky's head.

He turned to the other rabbits for some help, but those who had heard the man were paralysed with what seemed like a mix of excitement and dread. “Should I go?” Binky asked, though it was the farthest thing from a question.

“Won't do you any good now,” Davium quipped as he punched buttons, twisted knobs, and slammed switches into their 'maximum science' positions. “Initiate the second test of World Door One.”

Binky looked back to the scientists. One was feverishly clutching a necklace of pearls with smiling cat faces on them: prayer beads. The room echoed with tapping and pensive whimpers, Binky being responsible for the loudest of the latter as he vaulted over Davium's desk, making sure to not touch any buttons that might destroy the world. “Second test?!” he shouted as he ducked for whatever safety two inches of wood might provide, “What went wrong with the first?”

“It's very unlikely that it will happen again,” the human said with the kind of mad grin only a human could produce. “In three.”

“What?”

“Two!”

“Wait!”

“One!”

Someone pre-screamed. Binky joined in.

“Activate!”

Davium jammed one button so hard that the desk creaked. The room was filled with a blinding light and the sound of something other splashing against their world. Binky stopped screaming (due to lack of breath, mostly) and waited. There was nothing but the soft rippling of white light that suddenly permeated the air. He carefully peeked over. The ring on the floor was filled with the wavering luminescence. Somehow, it looked deep, like it was only the mouth to a rustic burrow and something... celestial beyond. “By my biscuits,” Binky exhaled. There was only silence. The other hares were watching the portal, then Davium, then back again like frightened kits. The man himself looked worried for the first time as he watch his screen. Binky stood just enough to look over his shoulder at the blinking words on the screen.

Scanning for Cthulhu...

.

.

.

Negative.

Davium let out a grateful sigh. “Perfect.”

Immediately, the rabbits cheered. Pens, clipboards, and -a move they would regret later- spectacles were all thrown toward the ceiling. Some lab coats took to the air as well, and one bunny jumped into a hare's lap and started nuzzling him furiously. Davium clapped Binky on the shoulder almost hard enough to bow him over the desk. “I couldn't do it in my own world, with all Canunbrium's technology. But, with junk equipment and a bunch of low IQ rabbits. Brilliant.”

The scientists were cheering too loudly to take offence. The one with the beads called out, “Her Majesty smiles on us!”

The others cheered, “May she live eternal forthwit!”

Binky didn't cheer. He just stared at the portal as its light illuminated a sense of dread buried deep in him. Always be ready, he often told himself. Things could always get worse. That door -he just knew- was a door to worse.

[No Bunny Knows]

“Poppy?” Butterworth blinked in surprise at the white form of his favorite niece. “My dear, what are you doing... this is a secret facility. How did you find us?”

Poppy smiled and shrugged blithely before dancing over and cheerfully shoving her basket of muffins into Buterworth's hands.

“Aunty Idris was saying that you were looking a bit on the thin side last time she saw you. I thought I would make something special just for you and here I am. Mother wanted to help out. I had quite the time of it getting her out of the kitchen. One muffin is gone. I shared it with the most lovely older male. He was ever so kind, perhaps you should give him a medal. Oh! There is a guard out on the perimeter that you should scare stiff. He was ever so rude. And the insinuations!”

“Sir, this facility is authorized personnel only. By your order,” the forgotten scientist said quickly as Poppy paused for breath. Poppy frowned at the female, her mouth opening to protest.

“What was that? Insinuations?” Butterworth cut in to head off the torrent of words Poppy had always seemed to have at her disposal. Gingerly,as if it might explode at any time, Butterworth set the basket on the closest table then waved a hand at the scientist to leave.

Cheers from the room beyond caught Poppy's attention. Curious, she looked out the nearest window.

“Sounds like the test was a success. Would you care to see the next step in Progress, Poppy?”

Poppy let herself be shepherded out onto a catwalk in the large room next door. Below, hares and bunnies celebrated near a platform. The dull metal of the platform was broken by a perfect circle of white light that moved and shimmered as if it were more liquid than anything else.

“Oh... that's beautiful.” Excited, Poppy scampered down the catwalk until she was as close as possible. “What is it?” Poppy called back to her Uncle as she climbed up on the railing to get a better look at the glimmering circle.

Butterworth strolled after he in a stately manner, his chest especially puffed with pride.

“That, my dear, is a door to other worlds. We call it the World Door. Through that wonder lies all manner of creatures and lands. Perhaps, even our Queen could be beyond it, may she live eternal forthwit.”

“...oh, Calico?” Poppy said absently as she stared at the white light.

“Wot? How do you know that name!” Butterworth sputtered. A thin edged, waspish voice rose up from below.

“Get back to your stations, rabbits. I'm going to connect it with the target world. Watch for any fluctuations.”

Poppy ignored her uncle in favor of searching for the owner of the strange sounding voice from below. The radiance from the Door changed, growing brighter and wobblier. Wincing a little at the bright light, Poppy shifted a bit. Her gaze kept bouncing from the Door to the area of the voice and back. A tiny squeak issued from her mouth a second after the metal of the railing squealed sharply and jolted under her.

“Poppy! Get down from there,” Butterworth shouted, the stressed grumbling of the metal alerting him to Poppy's position.

“U..uncle.” Poppy whimpered, holding the rail in a death grip as she slowly slid one foot back and down. “Uncle Butters!” Poppy's scream accompanied the sharp ping of the the bolts shearing away.

Scrabbling in mid-air for anything, Poppy's hand snagged a thick electrical cable draped from the ceiling. For an eternity that was really just a heartbeat, Poppy hung from the cable looking down at the surprised faces of the scientists. The far end if the cable popped free from its connection.

With a banshee-like scream, part fear and part hysterical excitement, Poppy swung towards the Door and fell through it like a poorly thrown skipping stone.

[Underbunny]

All through the World Door One Command Center, there was silence. Rippling light played over shocked faces as the portal wobbled in a fit of post-bunny indigestion.

Then, voices began to rise: whispers from the scientists, resonant hyperventilation from the catwalk, and a soft invocation of, “no no no no,” from Davium. The cable that had so neatly dumped the white blur off-world snapped back toward the intellectuals, popping one of them between the eyes. “Ow!” the scientist shouted, and it was as if that one word was a starting gun for the Great Panic Marathon.

“Is she dead?!”

“Who was that? I think I recognized her.”

“The tentacles are going to get 'er!”

“Is this plug important?!”

That last part came from the hare who had been struck. He held aloft the lonely pronged end of his assailant. As if in response, there was the pop of cooling capacitors from the platform below the World Door, and it winked out.

Sweating profusely, Davium suddenly took the lead. “I knew it! Never work with rabbits,” he snapped, “Not enough brain to hold up their ears!” Beady eyes turned to him, and he shot beady wrath right back. “You heard me, rabbits. Now, reconnect that cable. Man your stations. You!” He pointed at the bunny with the prayer beads. “Stop crying!”

Binky spoke his first meager words since the conflagration began. “You... you don't have to be so mean.”

Davium spun on him. “Oh, I'm sorry. I should be elated that the scientific innovation of the century was just quashed by some idiot rabbit's big white posterior.”

Frowning, Binky looked back to the lifeless metal ring. I just knew something like this would happen. Who even was that?

“Po- Po- Pooooppy!” came the long-delayed and well-ventilated scream of their commander. Every ear turned to the catwalk. The voice of Puddles Butterworth was known for many things: marshaling armies, quelling revolutions, even ordering takeout so passionately that it arrived in no more than ten minutes. However, none had ever heard him panic. It made all their spines shiver until one could almost hear them rattle... if that sound wasn't overwhelmed by the pounding of Butterworth's feet on the metal catwalk. Like a bounding hurricane, he swept into the observation room. “Jam on biscuits! Idris will kill me,” he could still be heard spouting as his thundering footfalls took the stairs between the room.

Then, silence. From just outside the door, the scientists could hear his heavy attempts at breathy restraint. They shivered in anticipation. Davium rolled his eyes and opened his mouth, but all that came out was a grunt as Binky elbowed him. The human looked scornfully up at the rabbit, but only received the universal gesture for, “Shush.”

Suddenly, the doors were flung all the way open, and in marched Commander Puddles Butterworth, the greatest hare that ever lived! His medals gleamed angelically in the light from the few working computers. His ears stood so erect that every hare and bunny in attendance rose to their feet and saluted. “Do you know wot I see when I look over you all?” he asked with power and pride as he swept an arm appraisingly, “I see the greatest minds of our kind. I see those who will carry us to the sunlit clearings of a bright future. I see the leporidae elite, those who won't shy from a challenge or a change in mission.”

Even Davium seemed to feel the wave of empowerment. He put his hands in his pockets to compensate. Binky might have teared up a little.

“My good rabbits, the first expedition through World Door One has become the first rescue mission, and there is no force I would rather have at my back!” The rabbits cheered, then stifled themselves. Their commander wasn't finished. “Davium,” he belted out, “Put the doohicky back in the thing and get this door open!”

“That's not even...,” the human began to sputter, but only sighed and said, “Affirmative.”

“Find where Poppy landed. We will send a rescue party immediately.” A discerning ear might have heard the worry in the commander's voice. He was making a lot of assumptions, the first of which was that this 'Poppy' had landed somewhere alive and in one piece. Binky sensed his doubt well enough. But, with the barest shake of his head, Butterworth forestalled any thought of the worst case scenario.

As the computer-types went back to work, a whisper spread among them.

“Poppy? Why is she here?”

“I remember her from the department picnic. Almost had a muffin...”

“Isn't she the commander's niece?”

Binky looked around the room, saw recognition in most of their eyes, and tilted his head curiously.

“Binky boy,” the commander suddenly shouted at far too close a range for his inspiring volume, “Take up your arms.”

“Sir,” Binky said without thinking, “You've never mentioned this niece befo-” The thinking kicked in. Binky gaped with eyes wide and back stiff. “I'm...?”

“Yes, my boy! We are the rescue party.” Butterworth clapped him roughly on the shoulder and leaned close. Somehow, he managed to speak without blasting Binky's ears clean off. “This is dangerous, unknown territory. I need you to have my back, just like at the City of Reptiles and the final march of the Capricorn Vanguard.” Those words did not stir pleasant memories for poor Binky.

Around them, the hum of electricity rose to full capacity once more, and a fumbling clatter from the catwalk above informed all that the plug had been re-plugged without an encore of Poppy's splendid entrance. The portal flashed to life once more, though the scientists and the human seemed especially nervous. “It's clear,” Davium said, wiping his brow, then began typing away. “She did land on the target world. Where... I can not say.”

What had been restrained relief on Butterworth's face became an invigorated bluster, “Can't say?!”

Davium shrugged as he hammered away. “She's somewhere on the planet's surface. On land... I believe. The door closed before we could get all the feedback readings.”

Butterworth harrumphed loudly, then spun on his toes and marched to the portal. The assembled rabbits all looked up from their monitors to see his form broad and stately against the wavering light. His ears made a grand silhouette, and his hands clasped behind his back were strong and confident. “My good Relativologist,” he said with loud, conspiratorial thunder. Davium didn't even protest. “Do we still have the location of her majesty's envoy on the world of Althanas?”

Davium had to wait for the chorus of, “May she live eternal forthwit,” to pass before answering. “We do...” His voice was hesitant. Binky shot him an identical glance. They both had unpleasant memories of their last meeting with the envoy in question.

“Then,” Butterworth shouted, verbally bludgeoning the air, “This will be a rescue operation with both royal consent and divine blessing!”

Excited elation rippled across the room, but stopped short at the last two bodies. “I knew it,” Binky whispered as he leaned over Davium's desk. “Door to worse.”

The human wrinkled his shiny brow. “Don't insult my door, rabbit,” he spouted softly, then added with a sigh, “As for what is beyond it...”