And so it begins

[matthewrramon]

closed to matthewkuch

Sitting on the cold, damp stone and listening to the silence was one of the most peaceful things that one could do. The musty smell filled Matthew's nostrils and the cool air wrapped around him like a blanket. Darkness engulfed the entire cave, save one solid beam of light which burned through to the opposite wall of the cave. There wasn't really much to this cave. Matthew had hiked an hour from his house to get here, and now he sat in a seven foot wide by eight foot tall cave. He was at a dead end. The tunnel reached a drop off that continued for unknown amounts of distance, and there was no way to go but forward or back.

Well I guess there really is nothing in this cave, Matthew reluctantly thought as he stood up. He didn't want to go after walking all that way, but it seemed there was no other option. I think I will go home and write some more on Althanas, Matthew thought.

Brushing off his pants he readied to begin the hour long trek home, but he became very curious about the drop off for some reason. All right, he thought, one more look. Letting the kid inside get the better of him, Matthew stood up and looked over the edge. He wasnt shining his flashlight directly into the drop off, but it seemed as if it never ended. Pointing the flashlight at the very bottom, he craned his neck to get a better look.

As he leaned farther, curiosity gave way to carelessness and he leaned a bit too far. As soon as this happened he noticed that his balance was I proportioned, but it was too late. He tried to grip the wall of the cave, but his hand slid off the damp stone and he began to plummet head first into the unknown.

As he was falling his mind went completely blank and he froze, bracing for some sort of impact. 10 seconds, 30 seconds, 1 minute, no impact. No sudden stop at the bottom. There was no bottom. Just the wind in his face and-

Oh great, he thought, I dropped my flashlight.

Really? You just fell head first into a bottomless pit and of all things you decide to worry about your flashlight?

He continued to fall into the endless abyss, when suddenly he came to a dead stop. There was nothing gradual about it, the fall simply ended. The fall seemed to end in barriers but not in rock. Solid barriers enveloped Matthew from head to toe, and began pushing on his existence. They were squeezing him like a stress ball, constricting his breathing and pushing in his stomach. They popped his ears and forced on his eyes, but it was all incredibly hot.

He could feel the heat on his skin and all his clothing, like something was rubbing up against him really fast. It grew hotter and hotter, almost feeling unbearable. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't think, all he could feel was the harsh, unforgivable space he was in.

Just when he felt he was about to suffocate, Matthew was shot out of the dimension and thrown into two feet of water. Surfacing his head, he gasped for air. Gulping down mouthfuls of atmosphere, Matthew tried to satisfy the hunger of his starved lungs with no avail. He was on all fours with his head and torso barely above the surface and the rest of him submerged.

Catching his breath, Matthew opened his eyes to find himself staring down at wavy greenish water. Lifting his head and sitting back on his heels he began to observe his surroundings. He saw a port with several ships in it about thirty feet to his left. approximately forty feet to his right he saw a huge wall. In front of him was about five feet of water that gradually turned into shore and led to a paved road.

Water streamed from Matthew's forehead and stung his eyes. Squeezing them shut tightly he groaned and rubbed them with his hands. Matthew's hands had just been in the water, so his eyes began to sting even more.

"Saltwater..." Matthew mumbled to himself, "Where am I?"

[matthewkuch]

Gavner waited in the shadows at the edge of the woods, surveying the city. This was the city that the elves had designed. The city once flourished with growth and life, but now lived in chaos. Now there was a carcinogenic being living in the city... A blood traitor.

Gavner secretly circled the city, planning his assassination route. It looked as if there was a breach point in the wall, but he couldn't be certain. These walls were fortified and Gavner would be hard pressed to find a way in. One time he had cut a large slab out of the wall but that was not stealthy. He retreated into the woods and made his way back to camp. When Gavner walked into camp he noted that his team had not yet returned from their scouting missions, and he would have to wait until they had returned to discuss the city. When he set foot in their camp he heard a barking noise and saw a small grey and white wolf cub running towards him.

"Eva," Gavner said with a smile crouching down. "Did you miss me?" He asked as she jumped on him and started licking his face. He began to pet her and rub her soft fur. Jumping back down she gave a soft whimper.

"Aww are you hungry girl?" Gavner asked. Eva barked and nodded in reply. "Lets go find something to eat." Gavner jumped up and began to silently stalk through the woods. Throwing a look over his shoulder Gavner saw Eva staring down at the ground, picking each paw up and carefully setting them down in clear positions. At the sight of this Gavner burst out laughing and Eva jumped about three feet in the air which made Gavner fall on the ground laughing.

Startled by Gavner's outburst Eva began to growl at him irritably. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a shiny black dot, and lunged towards it. Sensing a predator the jackrabbit turned and began to flee but it was no match for Eva. She was on top of it in a matter of seconds and killed it. Looking back proudly to recieve praise from Gavner she was shocked to find that he was no longer there. Where had he gone!? Her eyes widened as she began to look around, but she could not find him. Sitting down she began to whimper and release high pitched howls into the air. Instantly she missed Gavner and wished he was beside her. She loved him more than anything in the world.

After what felt like hours Eva fell silent and lay her head on her paws in submission. Gavner would never return, and she had been left to die. Just then Eva heard the snapping of twigs and the sound of somebody walking.

Gavner!?

Eva lifted her head and perked up her ears, filled with hope and anxiousness. Out from behind a tree Eva saw Gavner walking with a carcass slung across his shoulder. Now Eva was basked in jubilation as if she had jumped into a lake of liquid joy. All she wanted to do was run and greet him from his super long journey! Running to him as fast as she could, she began barking happily and jumping up on his legs trying to lick his hand.

"Eva I haven't even been gone for ten minutes!" Gavner said laughing. "Lets get this back to camp," he said motioning to the deer he was carrying. Eva ran over to pick up her kill and started off towards camp with Gavner. She would show him what she caught later.

[matthewrramon]

Matthew looked towards the shore and saw many buildings tightly packed together. They were separated by the occasional alleyway and back roads, but the main road continued to the wall and bent out of sight.

"Hmmm..." Matthew thought to himself. "This looks a lot like how I imagined Beinost."

Looking down at the greenish water, Matthew began to shiver. He just now noticed that the cold water stung at his arms and legs. He stood up quickly but got hit with a gust of wind which only amplified the sensation. Feeling the bite of the wind, Matthew gave a high pitched shriek which attracted the attention of nearby sailors.

"Oi!" One yelled, "what ya doin' in the water for lad?"

"Yah!" Another called, "get o'er 'ere boy! Ya don' want the sharks after you."

Matthew's eyes widened and he hesitated for a moment. Then he gave a cry of fright and bounded towards the shore as fast as he could through the shin-deep water. The sailors doubled over in laughter. After he made it to shore, Matthew walked over to the dock the sailors that called to him were on and folded his arms. The sailors looked over at him and burst into another fit of laughter.

Matthew scowled at the howling men. "So gullible!" the one yelled while gasping between laughs.

"Oh really?" Matthew scoffed back, "If you say 'gullible' really slow it sounds like 'green beans.'"

"Guuullliiibbb..... 'ey!" The sailor started, " 'e 'oodwinked me!"

"I did not know your vocabulary range extended to such length." Matthew sneered.

"Huh?"

Matthew smiled to himself. "By the way, what city is this?"

"Why this'd be the city of Beinost," The sailor replied.

"Wait..... The city of Beinost?"

The sailor nodded

"In Raiaera?"

"See? 'Is lad knows his way around." The sailor told the other.

Matthew stood back, shocked. The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He was no longer in his home world, but was now in the world of Althanas.

[matthewkuch]

"I searched that place from top to bottom, there is no way in without being seen or caught." Victoria said biting into a raw elk leg.

"I beg to differ," Gavner said with a smirk. "Anybody else find any other routes?"

"None at all! That city is impenetrable," Frudid marveled.

"Well I have thought of one possible way, but I cannot guarantee its success," Lewis said thoughtfully.

"Try me," Gavner said with a smile.

~Later~

"Okay who's idea was this??" Richard hissed plugging his nose.

The five vampires were sopping wet, making their way through a cramped tunnel ankle-deep in sewage.

"Ask Lewis," Frudid hissed.

"Stop it guys, it is a brilliant idea." Gavner said disapprovingly of the two criticizing vampires. "Now that we are in the tunnels I have my bearings. We discussed the plan, and when we reach the main branch we will go our separate ways and you will be out of here in no time. Until then, stop whining."

"If we could have gone with Gavner's plan maybe we wouldn't be covered in ankle deep in crap..."

[matthewrramon]

Matthew looked around at the city, amazed. Althanas was a writing website, so how could it be an actual dimension? Matthew's mind was everywhere, but it wasn't until the sailor spoke to him that he came back to reality.

"Ye best be on yer way lad, we're takin' off soon."

"Oh," Matthew said, still a bit dazed. "Oh okay."

"Ye okay sonny?" the other asked.

"Yeah I'll be fine, I just need some water," Matthew said.

"What 're ye doin in a city like Beinost? It ain't the best place for a youth like yerself ta be wanderin' 'round."

"I don't know actually. I don't really have a place to go," Matthew replied.

The sailor looked at Matthew and hesitated. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small cloth bag. He pulled out a few coins and nudged the sailor next to him. The other sailor rolled his eyes and repeated the gesture, giving the coins to the first one who walked off the ship onto the dock. The sailor reached out and dropped the coins into Matthew's hand.

" 'Ere lad, take 'ese and get out 'o this town. It ain't safe 'ere. Good luck on your journey."

"Thank you sir. I will be out as soon as I can."

After the men began rigging the ship Matthew turned around and started into the city. He walked up the main street and saw a sign which read "Blacksmith." This looked very familiar to him, but he could not put his finger on where he had seen it. As he walked through an alley he came to an abandoned church.

"This was the church Ioder took Gavner to after he passed out... The one that was burned down and rebuilt." he mumbled to himself, walking down another road. "This is the tavern they met outside of. And this is the alley they fought in."

Pausing at the edge of the alley, Matthew stood in awe. He really was in the very place that his mind's eye had worked so hard to conjure only with the help of the cannonmasters. Turning the corner he saw a figure in a dark hood, hurrying along the ally. He was keeping to the shadows, but a crop of red hair and a long scar on his face was visible through his hood. Matthew knew this face.... Could it really be him?

"Gavner!?" Matthew almost shouted, accidentally.

The figure stopped and pulled back, startled. Turning to Matthew, his hood cast shadows on his face and he stared with his red irises. He did not speak, but simply stared.

"Gavner Nahs?" Matthew said in a more controlled voice.

The figures eyes widened and he looked around the alley.

"I didn't know that you were still in Beinost, I thought you were goi-" Matthew began, but Gavner rushed over to him and firmly placed his hand over Matthew's mouth. Matthew was so astonished that he kept talking in a muffled voice under Gavner's cold hand.

"Shhhh," Gavner hushed in an extremely low voice. "I do not know who you are, or how you know me, but if you do not keep silent then you will have no more breath to speak of me in."

Matthew fell silent until Gavner removed his hand and turned to leave.

"Is that a threat?" Matthew asked.

Gavner stopped in his tracks and looked back at Matthew.

"Yes. It is. What do you want from me boy? Money? I can assure you that I have none. I am on a tight schedule, I must be on my way," he said hurriedly.

"Gavner I just want to talk," Matthew said.

"SHHHH!!" Gavner hissed. "Whatever! Just do not call me by my name right now!"

"Oookay thenn Mr. Hissy face," Matthew said contorting his face and moving his head from side to side in sarcasm.

"Meet me in the sailors' tavern at dawn, it is usually clear by that time," Gavner said curtly and turned to leave.

"Oh and Gavner?" Matthew said. Gavner did not say anything, but he stopped to listen. "It's really important."

Gavner nodded, and with that he was off into the bowels of the town.

"Hmm... Matthew muttered to himself, astonished. "This is the fruit of my imagination...."

[matthewkuch]

Now I have random children stopping me on my missions, Gavner thought irritably, I will never become a prince!

Gavner rushed to reach his position in time, as the day was growing old and dying. Finally he reached his infiltration point, an old abandoned house, where he would wait for dusk and attack the hidden palace.

The vampires of Gavner's clan had a growing interest in the city of Beinost, as they were planning to launch a network of satellite colonies all over Raiaera. Beinost, with its reknown access to the seas of Althanas, would be a valuable city to set up an underground colony in. The city itself was already underpopulated, corrupt, and virtually in ruins. If the vampires were to come in and restore order in chaos, they could make Beinost their oyster and their clan would grow in power over all the others. But one problem stood in their way; the blood traitors.

Blood traitors were a group of beings among those who loathed vampires. It was not only a one way streak either. Blood traitors were vampires that had been banished from their own clans and decided to form a new clan. A clan that loathed all other vampires and wished to destroy them.

Now, in Beinost, there was a arsenal of Blood Traitors who were secretly ruling what little population remained in Beinost. This was not widely known, but the vampires had been tracking the movements of the Blood Traitors since the dawn of time.

The city of Beinost in particular had a noble ruling over the city who went by the name of Amzak. Amzak was a Blood Traitor who had no ambition, which was why the city was still in the ashes of years before and had never recovered. He never fully utilized the potential of the sea and trade was minimal. Amzak lived in a palace which was protected by illusions and dark magic. Gavner and his team were to infiltrate the palace, assassinate the prince, and leave without a trace. They would leave to the camp at which point they would rendezvous with several generals who would begin to establish an underground colony in the city.

The princes chose Gavner of all people because he was an aspiring young general who wanted to gain influence in the clan. Upon his acceptance as a general his team was assigned to him and he had come to know them well. This was his third mission, and after completing this he would be assigned a bigger team.

When the sun sank just below the horizon, marking the nightwalkers' rule, the team was thrust into their plan. Gavner climbed to the top of the house he was stationed in and took out a bow of yew. Knocking an arrow with a string on the end he pulled back and turned to the heart of the town where a great church appeared to be crumbling to the ground. He shot the arrow into the side of the building with precision and tied the other end to a metal stake which he stuck into the roof. Plucking the rope he checked to make sure the rope was taught and he started to walk across the line.

Being a vampire, Gavner had higher skill set to do with speed and strength, but he was naturally gifted with balance. He took long carefully placed strides, not missing a second or a step in time. His walk was graceful, and long practiced. When he reached the church he sank his sharp nails into the stone wall and clawed his way to a nearby window of the falling church. When inside he jumped down to the floor and found himself in a sanctuary. Looking around he found the place completely dark, but for some reason he could see just fine.

In the center of the room was a statue of a man kneeling on a large globe. The man had slanted eyes and sharp features. His ears were pointed, and he had a longsword in his extended right hand, pointing at the ceiling. Gavner walked up to this statue. He sensed something fishy going on here, but he did not know what.

"Hey Gavner," a voice whispered urgently from behind.

Instantly Gavner turned around towards the source, to find the door at the front of the church wide open and a short figure in the entrance.

"Gavner!" the voice came again.

"What! What do you want from me!?" Gavner desperately whispered back to the meddling boy who kept pestering him.

"I just came to warn you about something! Whatever you do, do not touch that statue!" the boy whispered. "It's a trap! The whole church will collapse in on itself!"

"How do you know this!?" Gavner annoyingly hissed back.

"Because I imagined it happening!"

"I don't have time for this," Gavner muttered to himself. "I will have to go through with the mission, even if this kid tries to meddle his way in."

Walking up to the statue, Gavner reached out his hand just to spite the boy. He placed his hand on the earth which the statue was kneeling on, and looked around pleased to see that nothing was happening.

"See?" He said triumphantly turning to the doors, but the boy was nowhere in sight.

A loud noise behind him alerted Gavner of the danger he faced, and Gavner turned around to see the statue had begun to spin in circles on the globe. His blade lifted overhead and a beam shot out of it, breaking up the ceiling. Before Gavner knew it, the church began collapsing on him, just as the boy had warned.

[matthewrramon]

"Three... Two... One." Matthew muttered to himself standing a safe distance from the church, his arms folded and a smug smile on his face.

The church began to collapse in on itself just as he predicted, when his countdown ended. Just as the roof fell in and the entire church collapsed to the ground, he saw a figure darting out of the church, sprinting as fast as he could. He stopped in the mouth of the alley Matthew was in, about 5 feet from him. Matthew stepped out from behind the corner, with his arms folded and a smirk on his face.

"I told you sooooooo!"

Gavner's face contorted in anger but he did not acknowledge Matthew in any way as he continued along the alley.

"Hey! Where are you going?" Matthew called after him.

"To see if my team is okay," Gavner grumbled angrily, still not turning to see the teenager.

"Don't forget to be at the tavern at dawn okay!?" Matthew called back.

"Yeah sure," Gavner angrily mumbled to himself.

"I sure made him a stubborn old bat..." Matthew mumbled to himself turning away to explore more of the city before his rendezvous.

[matthewkuch]

Gavner could not believe what had just happened. He really wished the stubborn teenager would just let him to his own devices, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. He walked along the back alleys grumbling to himself in his anger until he reached the drainage grate where he came out of.

As he bent down to pick up the grate he heard behind him, the voice that annoyed him the most, "It's easier to climb the wall you know. You won't get all that sewage on you."

"I like sewage very much!" Gavner shouted to spite the boy. A late night pedestrian turned the corner and stared at Gavner like he had three heads. When the pedestrian had gone Gavner angrily walked up to the boy and grabbed him by the shirt, lifting him in the air.

"Listen to me kid, you are attracting too much unwanted attention!" Gavner hissed angrily. "I have to check on my team and make sure nobody is injured, but after that I will meet you in the tavern to talk. You have to promise to leave me alone until then okay?"

Even though the boy was dangling several feet off the ground inches from the vampire's face, he coughed and said "Okay, but can you get a breath mint or two? When was the last time you fed! PHEEW!!"

Gavner let go of the boy's shirt and he fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance. As Gavner returned to the grate Matthew hesitated.

"What is it this time?" Gavner asked irritably.

"Um... Directly in the middle of town there is a secret door in the wall. That part of the wall is never used, so the hallways and quarters are deserted." Matthew said, "There is a barrier of dark magic protecting the door, but it is an old enchantment. A mere strike with the heel of your palm will break the barrier long enough for you to slip in the door and out the other side of the wall."

Gavner sighed, he did not want to take advice from the boy, nor did he want to return to the sewers, but the boy was right last time so Gavner figured he might as well follow his advice. Without a word Gavner turned away and started off to the wall.

~later~

Gavner had returned to camp 20 minutes earlier than everybody else, and when he made sure everybody was okay he had returned to the city. He made great time using the secret door the boy had talked about, and was waiting outside of the tavern he had told the boy to meet him in. He was watching to make sure no suspicious characters were entering, lest this was a trap.

When Gavner reached the tavern, he saw a large group of sailors clearing out of the tavern. This had made him suspicious, but eventually his suspicion was ebbing. When he deemed the coast clear, Gavner entered the tavern to find the boy at a back table and several annoyed sailors scattered about the tavern. At the back table, the boy had a cup in his hand and a small group of sailors had gathered at his table as well. He was singing a completely unfamiliar tune with the drunken sailors, and they all seemed to be having a great time.

"Sweet Caroline!! Bum-bum-bum," they all sang, "good times never seemed so good!!"

Gavner covered his ears, as his sensitive hearing was disturbed by this loud, mediocre singing.

"Shut up! Are you drunk!?" Gavner yelled angrily at the boy.

"Nope," the boy answered sticking his nose in the air and smiling like a fool. "This is just my personality."

Walking up to the boy, Gavner snatched the cup from his hand and looked inside.

"Milk??" Gavner exclaimed.

"Yup. Who said you need to be drunk to have fun?" the boy said soberly. The boy shooed the sailors away and invited Gavner to sit down.

Gavner pulled his hood over his head and hissed "What was so important?"

Ignoring the demanding vampire Matthew stuck out his hand for Gavner to shake and said "I must apologize for the way we met. It was not the best."

Gavner shook the boy's hand reluctantly and glared at him from under his hood.

"By the way, my name is Matthew. I made you."

[matthewrramon]

Gavner raised an eyebrow and stared at Matthew in confusion.

Shoot, Matthew thought, I shouldn't have come on so strong like that. Matthew didn't know where to go from now, so he continued on as if Gavner would know what he was talking about.

"The whole world of Althanas is a writing website right? One day my friend showed me and I created you as my character to write with." Matthew said. "Everything that has happened in your life up to this point is my writing."

"Okay, you are wasting my time right now." Gavner said irritably to the boy, standing up. "I have a very important mission to attend to right now, and I don't have time for fantasy stories from teenage bo-"

"Gavner just hear me out," Matthew interrupted in desperation, standing up as Gavner began to leave. Gavner did not stop as Matthew protested and his desperation turned to rage.

"Gavner Nahs, don't you walk away from me!" Matthew yelled across the tavern, "I CREATED YOU!"

"Silence boy, you not what you speak of!" Gavner turned around and yelled back across the tavern of sailors who were listening intently.

"I know exactly what I speak of," Matthew retorted.

"You don't know me," Gavner said dangerously through narrowed eyes.

"I know everything about you!" Matthew exclaimed. "I know that Fintin blooded you when you were 14 because you spent the night in an old cottage by a grave yard! I know of the clan, and of Ioder, and I even know of all your endeavors with Black Shadow."

Gavner had now stopped and was staring at Matthew in even more confusion than he already was.

"I know about Eva." Matthew said, "I know about Amoux..." His voice grew soft, and his gaze lowered to the ground. "How you killed Espoir's parents, and Balthazar Jenkins..."

Matthew lifted his gaze upon hearing tables being pushed aside, and chairs clattering to the ground. He looked up to find an angry Gavner coming his way, plowing through all in his path. Matthew saw rage in his red irises, a glint of what he had only ever written about before. A look that terrified him to see in reality. Matthew began to back up, but soon he was against the wall with the infuriated vampire closing in on him.

Matthew opened his mouth to say something but before any words came out, Gavner's hand flew through the air faster than lightening. The enraged vampire's hand pinned Matthew to the wall by his neck, three feet above where he was standing. Matthew could not breathe, and he was stuck staring directly into the pale face of the very vampire he had created.

"You have crossed the line, boy." Gavner hissed in a deathly voice.

Matthew raked his brain in his last moments to find anything that might convince Gavner, any memory or scrap of evidence that would prove his cause just. The world was now growing faint, and fuzzy. His vision was clouding and his mouth now hung ajar. Then it came to him.

"D-d-d-daren," Matthew gasped through Gavner's hand as he closed his eyes with the effort of forcing the air out.

Gavner's grip loosened and Matthew fell to the ground, coughing and spluttering. Instantly he was reenacting the scene of his first appearance in Althanas, except without the water.

Gavner remained silent until Matthew had caught his breath and as Matthew looked up, asked, "Who are you?"

[matthewkuch]

"Okay... So I am still confused about what this 'internet' invention is," Gavner said after a long night of complicated explanations.

"Really? Geez Gavner... I shouldn't have made you so stupid," Matthew said.

Gavner's face began to show his rage, but Matthew smiled and Gavner simply scowled.

"Watch it," Gavner said, "you may have created me in your world, but you are in my world now. I do not like insults."

"Yes, I made you a prideful, stuffy old bat." Mathew said with a grin.

All that night Matthew tried to explain the twenty-first century to Gavner with little success. He had gotten Gavner to grasp the concept that Althanas was a fantasy world, and all characters (Matthew had to resort to using the phrase 'people of Althanas' when he was accustomed to saying 'characters') were created by people.

"You know Black Shadow?" Matthew had asked Gavner while trying to explain this concept. "He was crated by my best friend. That's why you and he are such great friends."

Whenever Gavner began to doubt and start to think Matthew was telling him a lie, Matthew would tell Gavner something about himself that not even he knew. He always believed afterward.

"Okay Matthew, what I am going to say is very important so you must listen." Gavner said.

"Very well," Matthew replied.

"You are no longer on planet birth."

"Earth."

"Right... You are no longer on Earth. You are in the world of Althanas now." Gavner said seriously.

"Yes Gavner, I think we have established tha-"

"Do not interrupt me," Gavner commanded. "Since you are in Althanas, you need to act as you are from Althanas."

"But-"

"Do not interrupt me!" Gavner said impatiently, "you need a backstory from Althanas to tell everybody. The only ones you can tell about Earth, are Black Shadow and Ioder. If I deem somebody trustworthy later, then you can tell them but until then you must conceal your true identity."

Mathew thought of this for a moment. Gavner was right, if he went around telling everybody their world was a fantasy land he would end up lynched.

"Okay," Matthew said.

"Good," Gavner said, "what's your story?"

[matthewrramon]

My name is Matthew Kuchc, and I am a superhuman. I was born and raised in a superhuman colony of the outlands, and my father was the leader of the tribe. Everybody loved the tribe and we all prospered, but I have always wanted to get out and see the world of Althanas. After scraping up as much gold as I could from quests for the tribe and our neighboring races I bought a ride to Raiaera where we ported in Beinost. The ticket was so cheap because we came to Beinost. While in Beinost I met an old friend of my father, and now here he is beside me in a sailor's tavern, reading my history that he told me to write down.

Matthew watched as the vampire looked over the napkin with narrowed eyes, being extremely critical of the back story. Gavner had made Matthew rewrite his story several times and would continue to make him rewrite it until it fit into his liking.

"Good," Gavner said pushing the paper back to Matthew, "now memorize it."

"The name's Axel, got it memorized??" Matthew said enthusiastically, remembering the line from a video game he had played before.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Gavner grunted and stared off deep in thought.

"Hey Gavner?" Matthew asked.

"What?" He replied.

"Do you think I could visit that superhuman colony and try to get them on board with my story?"

Gavner looked confused at first, then amused. A faint smile crossed his lips, and he stared of into the distance.

"Yeah, Matt would probably probably go with that," Gavner said. "Do you have anything else to do in this city?"

"No, why?" Matthew asked.

"Because it's time to pay the outlands a visit."

[matthewkuch]

Gavner clung to the top of the wooden mast with his sharp nails, looking out over the sea. Not a foot of land within all sight for a whole week. The still had a whole other week to go until they reached the outlands. Then they had to continue on foot for another two weeks until they would finally reach the superhuman colony. The Althanian moon was gone, and the number of stars in the sky were as numerous as the grains of sand on the sea shore. Climbing down the side of the mast Gavner reached the deck and headed for the passage below.

Gavner could only ever come out at night when the sun was down and there was no light reflecting off the water. If Gavner came out when the sun was its peak, he would be burned from all angles because of the reflection off the water. He also had to keep a low profile because the passengers would grow suspicious if they caught a character who only ventured to the deck at night.

Walking below deck he began the long trek through the large ship. The ship that Gavner had booked for himself and Matthew was a huge one with dual cargo and passenger carrying capacity. Naturally Gavner could not share quarters with humans, as he was a vampire, but the captain was an old friend of his so he was happy to accommodate Gavner's need. Gavner stalked through the passenger deck which had many hammocks and beds for passengers and families heading through the outlands. After walking about ten minutes, through the length of the ship, he pulled out a ring of keys and unlocked the door at the end of the hall.

Shutting and locking the door behind him, Gavner continued to the passage at the end of the room that led to a descending ladder. After descending to the cargo deck he found himself in the gun room which held ammo and gunpowder for the cannons which were all on this level. Gavner walked through the door on the other end of the gun room and to the other end of the crew's quarters which were outside the gun room.

On the other side of the crew's quarters were the cargo cells. Some cargo had to be isolated from the rest, such as exotic animals and plant life, where as other cargo required specialized cells such as frozen goods. There were several different cell types. The freezer cell was marked by a snow flake on the cell entrance, and heated cells were marked with a sun. The captain always charged more for special cargo that had to be isolated, but the rest of the cargo was held in huge open areas of the deck. Gavner and Matthew lived in a rather large cargo cell which held many different kinds of food.

As Gavner headed to his room he heard what sounded like muffled singing and music coming from a cell. After returning to his and Matthew's cell, he found that Matthew was gone.

"Figures..." Gavner grumbled, as he turned to exit the room. Walking to the cell which was emanating with music, Gavner pushed the door to find a sight similar to the one he saw Matthew in the night Gavner almost choked him out.

Matthew had somehow found a piano in a luxury item cell and was playing it, now crowded by a group of sailors who were all singing merrily. They were singing the tune that Matthew had been singing with the sailors in the previous tavern. It was a song that Gavner was completely unfamiliar with, as he had never before heard it around the world of Althanas.

"Sweet Caroline, bum-bum-bum! Good times never seemed so great-"

Matthew stopped the piano and cut off all of the sailors. "No no no, the song goes 'good times never seemed so good,' not great."

The sailors all gave recognition and Matthew continued on.

"So do you guys think you have the chorus down?" The sailors murmured and told him to try it again. "I'm going to sing the verses, and you guys sing the choruses alright?"

"Yeah!" The sailors cheered excitedly, and urged Matthew to begin playing again.

"Where it began, I can't begin to knowin', but then I know it's growing strong..." Matthew sang.

When the it came time for the sailors to sing their part, they all sang in unison, and perfectly on key. This group of sailors seemed like they were a fully organized choir group. When all was over with Matthew and the sailors began happily chatting together and praising each other for a job well done.

"I tell ye, not in all 'o my 25 years 'ave I heard that song. Where'd you learn it?" A beaming sailor asked Matthew.

"Well, where I come from there is this guy named Neil Dia-"

"Yes yes, the superhuman colony has many musicians," Gavner interrupted quickly before Matthew let his tongue slip "isn't that right, Matthew?"

"Oh, yes..." Matthew said realizing he had a story to keep up.

"It is getting very late," Gavner said. "We should be getting to bed."

"As you wish, Uncle Gavner." Matthew said strained.

Gavner and he had decided that on this trip, Matthew would refer to Gavner as his uncle. It was the only way their story made sense so far, as the crew didn't know Gavner to be a vampire. Gavner led Matthew to the cell where he scolded Matthew for almost slipping up again. Matthew retired to his hammock as Gavner retreated to his. He gently picked up the curled up Eva who was fast asleep on his hammock and placed her on his chest as he lay down. Gavner and Matthew then drifted off into a long sleep. Matthew dreamt of home and all of his friends which he had left behind and woke up with a start.

When Matthew woke, Gavner woke as well because he sensed something in the room. He knew something was not right, but he did not know what exactly. In actuality, for the first time in his life, Matthew had gotten a bad case of homesickness. But Gavner did not only wake because he sensed this in the room, he felt the homesickness in himself as well.

[matthewrramon]

"Matthew," Gavner whispered from across the room. "Are you okay?"

Matthew was startled that Gavner had known something was amiss. He thought Gavner was sleeping at this time, it was probably the middle of the day.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Matthew lied softly.

He didn't want Gavner to think he was a wimp, but after all he had never really felt homesick. Maybe it was because he didn't have a way to get back, or maybe it was because he felt farther away from home than he had ever been. He was now stuck on a ship with a figment of his imagination heading to the dangerous wilds where he could actually be killed.

"No you are not. I can hear it in your voice," Gavner whispered. "What is the matter?"

"Well I don't know, I guess I'm just..." Matthew trailed off.

"Missing home?" Gavner finished for him.

"Yeah..."

"It's okay," Gavner said, "It may seem lonely at first but you will meet many nice people who will keep you company and act as a family for you in the superhuman colony."

"Thanks..." Matthew said, but he still felt bad. It was almost as if there was a hole inside of him, and it kept getting worse.

Looking over Matthew saw Gavner's face in the lowly lit room. It was unsettled and Gavner seemed troubled for some reason. Matthew opened his mouth, but nothing came out because just then an extremely loud splintering noise was heard and the ship was thrust to the side. Gavner and Matthew were thrown to the floor, and they both looked at each other and yelled at the same exact time.

"Oh Shoot!"

[matthewkuch]

Up on the deck, Gavner and Matthew found it full of frightened passengers and busy crew members frantically working. The captain was on the top of the helm with the wheel shouting orders to the sailors, who were repeating what he said. Rushing up the ladder and to a burly sailor who was keeping passengers from pestering the captain, Gavner demanded to know what was going on.

"We hit a rock sir. It was not enough to sink us but it flooded the lowest cargo level," the sailor said. "Our magicians are repairing the ship but we will be at a standstill until the ship is repaired and the water is out of the ship."

"Dang!" Gavner cursed, "How long do you think that will be?"

"The hole is being repaired as we speak, but draining the ship and repairing the cargo will most likely delay us for a day."

Just then a screeching noise came from the deck. Gavner was startled and jumped, as his hearing was oversensitive. Looking to find the commotion he slapped his forehead when he saw what was happening. Matthew had thrown his arms in the air, and was now running around in circles screaming at the top of his lungs. Everybody watched for several seconds as he circled around the deck, then ran into the mast and fell to the floor.

"Geez," Gavner said rubbing his temples, "this is going to be a long trip."

[matthewrramon]

Matthew's palms were moist and suddenly he was sweating even though it was a crisp cool night. He had played in band concerts and youth group events before but he had never played and sung anything in front of a group this large. The captain had the piano moved up the top deck for the talent show and it was dark, so Gavner could attend. Matthew had talked to Gavner and expressed interest in a talent show, so Gavner had a word with the captain. The captain loved the idea and immediately scheduled a date.

Matthew and about 5 other crew members stepped forward to the piano. Sitting down Matthew placed his fingers on the smooth, cold ivory keys. He took a deep breath and admired the beautiful instrument of ivory and ebony. He gently placed his hands in the position of his first chord and began to play Desperado (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GeYol0Gch0). Of course nobody knew this song, but Matthew knew that the crew would love the slow story as it applied to many of them.

Matthew and the sailors had practiced a lot before the talent show, and the song went smoothly for the most part. Matthew messed up towards the end of the song pretty badly, but when he looked up he saw that Gavner was smiling. This gave him hope and he finished the song flawlessly. When the song was finished all the passengers and crew clapped and cheered. In this moment Matthew felt very happy.

Gavner came up to him with a smirk on his face and said "Not bad kid, not bad at all."

"Thank you," Matthew said smiling.

The rest of the voyage passed quickly enough, as they sailed for the outlands. Most of the days Gavner and Matthew lounged around in the cargo deck and nights they spent up on deck with the captain and the crew. Matthew even got to know the captain as well as Gavner did. When it came time to depart Gavner set up a rendezvous point with the captain for his return and Matthew and Gavner were on their way.

Their trek through the outlands blew by rather quickly. Matthew expected the journey to drag on for what felt like years, however it seemed to go by in hours. The trek was not long in itself but it was a bit longer because they traveled only at night.

As Matthew and Gavner walked through the grassy plains they entered a mixed forest of trees which were larger than any tree Matthew had ever seen. They called these trees redwood trees back on Earth. The trek through this forest took about a day but they traveled at daytime because the canopy provided cover from the sun. As the day was drawing to a close and light in the forest was growing dimmer and dimmer Matthew caught view of an extremely large wall which must have been over 60 feet tall. The wall was fortified in with the trees with highly advanced engineering. Upon seeing this Matthew knew they had reached their destination. They walked about ten feet from the wall and stopped as Gavner looked up.

"Hello," Gavner called out loudly. "It is I, Gavner Nahs of Clan Anoterish. I come with the utmost urgency."

A guard poked his head out from the top of the wall. "Please wait here as we consult the chief," the guard called down.

The guard disappeared and Matthew looked at Gavner.

"I have to pee."

"Um," Gavner said confusedly, "then go?"

"But first, let me take a selfie!"

Matthew began to dance around and act extremely silly. Gavner stared at him like he had three heads.

"Clearly I will never have you figured out..." Gavner said shaking his head with a smirk.

Matthew and Gavner heard someone clear their throat at the top of the wall.

Oh great, Matthew thought, he was probably there for a long time...

"The chief grants immediate admittnce to Master Nahs and his guest."

Gavner turned to Matthew. "Onward, shall we?"

[matthewkuch]

Gavner spent all morning explaining what had just happened to Matt, one of Gavner's good friends. Matt was the chief of the superhuman colony, and he was singlehandedly the most powerful of them all. They had met when Gavner was on official clan business, and had become friends.

"Why yes, this is difficult to grasp but I believe the boy is speaking truth." Matt said to Gavner.

"And Matt," Gavner said, "One more thing. At times, I believe I share emotions with the boy. When he feels very potent things, I feel them as well.It's just the most random things in the world." Gavner replied.

Matt looked at Gavner in bewilderment. "This is very strange... To my understanding this bond will only grow stronger with time. I will have to study it to be sure."

"But are you on board with his story?" Gavner asked.

"Of course. I will make announcement of our newest member to the entire colony tonight." Matt said, "We will make him feel welcome."

"Is there any way that you can give him, you know..." Gavner hesitated.

"Superhuman qualities?" Matt finished, "I will see what I can do. But he must be stronger before such techniques can be attempted."

"Very well," Gavner said. "I have one more favor to ask of you..."

[matthewrramon]

Matt's house was absolutely amazing. The guard teleported Matthew and Gavner directly into the house, and Matthew stood back in awe upon seeing the place. They were in the entryway of what seemed to be a magnificent mansion, larger than most of the buildings Matthew had seen in Althanas. Polished stone tiles covered the entire floor of the entryway which a small house could easily fit into. Looking left and right Matthew saw doors on each side of the room, and in front of them were two large staircases. One was on each side of the room and they curved and met up in the center of the room on the second floor which led out both sides of the room.

"Gavner!" Matt exclaimed, who was waiting in the center of the room.
"It is nice to see you as well Matt," Gavner said.

"And who is this?" Matt asked looking at Matthew.

"Matt, this is Matthew. Might I have a word with you in private?" Gavner said in a polite but serious voice.

"Very well," Matt said leading him into the room to the right.

Matthew watched them leave and then looked at the ground to notice that Eva was doing the same.

"I guess it is just you and me, little Eva." Matthew said to the baby wolf who barked in reply.

He crouched down and got on all fours so he was looking directly at her. Eva turned around and stuck her rear in his face before he could pull away. Falling on the floor dramatically, Matthew began rolling around spitting and rubbing his mouth and Eva jumped on his chest and began to play with him. She would jab her tiny paws into his chest and lick him with her rough, slimy tongue leaving a trace of saliva on him. Matthew rubbed his hand through her soft warm fur and felt extreme joy. Looking at Eva he smiled at his creation and realized this was one of the fruits of his imagination.

At that moment Matt and Gavner came out into the entry way to find Matthew and Eva playing. They both smiled and waited until Matthew noticed them waiting. When Matthew saw them standing there watching he felt rather silly, but he took Eva off of himself and stood up to meet them.

"Matthew," Matt said, "follow me. I am going to show you your new home."

For the next half-hour to hour Matt showed Matthew his vast mansion and told him about how it was open to everybody in the colony to visit if they needed, or wanted to. The mansion had six floors including ground floor and the attic. The first floor, second floor, and attic were not used for bedrooms. The ground floor had suits of armor and many sofas and cushions on it. It had a very large kitchen and a dining hall large enough to seat hundreds of people.

Floor number two was the archives which had every colony member's powers and abilities documented. It also had their training records and skills recorded. The floor also had several doors that led into glass hallways which led to different facilities. One led to a network of completely arenas which were completely open to the weather and used for training and sparring. Another led to the judge's box in a huge coliseum-like stadium. This was used for final matches, fights, and professional battles. Another led to a large room dedicated to science research and tech development. Another led to a large facility dedicated to honing in the superhumans' abilities. There were rings suspended from the ceiling and air obstacles for those with gravity defiance, and targets for those who could disperse elemental powers from their bodies. There were weights for those with extreme strength, a gauntlet for those with supernatural speed, and just about anything you could think of dedicated to honing in the skills of any superhuman power.

The three floors in between had 240 bedrooms in it, 90 bathrooms, 12 common rooms, and 12 sets of staircases. Matt said that nobody needed to be in the attic so he wasn't going to show them. Matt showed Matthew his room which was in the center of the fourth floor. Matthew's room was right next to Matt's.

At the end Matt led Matthew into his own room and brought him a polished box of beautiful wood. The grains were abnormal to begin with. They all seemed to be going in the same direction when glanced at, but when one looked closely they seemed to be going in all different directions at once. The color was very dark, and it was very smooth.

"Gavner told me that you were a musician," Matt said bringing over the box.

"Well I guess I am," Matthew said.

"I have something for you then." Matt said. He handed the box to Matthew and told him to open it.

Matthew didn't know what to expect, but when he opened it he got something he was not expecting. He opened the box to find a black handheld microphone lying in a cloth lining.

"This is a device crafted out of metal which is enchanted to amplify anything intended to become louder." Matt said, "When you hold it in your hand the enchantment detects in your mind what you want amplified. It can pick up any sound in a 10 foot radius and amplify it to be heard from a 50 yard radius. The majority of the sound is projected from the bottom of the device."

Matthew's eyes widened in awe.

"As long as you hold it in your hand, the enchantment will read your mind. But that's not all," He continued. "The device is also enchanted to read your mind to see if you want your voice to sound like another's. If this is the case, it will change your voice to precisely mimic the desired voice as soon as it exits your mouth, but you must hold it within a foot of your mouth."

Matthew could not believe that such magic existed, but then he remembered that he was in Althanas, and many things were possible.

"Now, I know you have had a long journey. You and Gavner should get your rest. We will be waiting when you wake."

[matthewkuch]

Gavner slept like a rock through the night. He woke up when the sun had just begun to shine.

"Wow," he muttered to himself, "I never sleep this late."

Eva was snuggled up between Gavner's left arm and his torso, curled into a grey ball of warm soft fur. She began to give a soft whimper, and her breathing became heavy. Gavner suspected that she was having a bad dream so he gently woke her with his hand, and a soft voice. She started awake, but her eyes brightened when she saw him. She yawned widely, showing her white chops and pink tongue and snapped her mouth shut after a long pause.

Rising from his bed, Gavner exited the room and met up with Matt in the dining hall. Matt began to tell Gavner some stories about his past and in the middle of a battle recount Gavner felt a wave of extreme drowsiness.

"Somebody just woke up," Gavner said yawning and rubbing his eyes.

"Fascinating!" Matt exclaimed skeptically, lowering his fork and widening his eyes as he looked at Gavner. "It seems as if you have developed a minor physical link with Matthew as well as an emotional connection!"

"Really?" Gavner said, feeling a spurt of amazement and joy at the same time. Suddenly he felt a burst of pride at his link with Matthew. Everything Matthew had told Gavner was true.

[matthewrramon]

Matthew groaned as he woke up sprawled out on his bed with his pillow on top of him. Drool was coming out of his mouth and onto his bed as he saw the squares of artificial light coming from the window on his wall. Matt had installed a pane of glass which was enchanted with illusion. It showed what the weather was outside, and even what the sun and moon looked like.

Getting up he walked out of his room and into the nearest bathroom. He found a toothbrush and a substance he presumed was toothpaste and began to brush his teeth. While he was brushing his teeth he began to feel a wave of drowsiness and yawned. A minute or so later he felt a burst of pride course through him. A pride in some sort of bond between Gavner and himself. Instantly Matthew knew that this was not of his own mind, because it was completely random. This was from the mind of his very own creation, Gavner.

[matthewkuch]

"It seems the longer you stay together for any specific period of time, the stronger your bond will become." Matt said to Gavner. Matt had pulled Gavner aside out of the dining, and he could not hide his utmost fascination with the bond between the two.

"I know you are very busy but is there any chance you might be able to stay a bit longer so that I may study this bond?" Matt asked.

"No Matt, you know the council is soon and I am already late as it is." Gavner said reluctantly.

"Are you sure you can't stay for just a few more days?" Matt asked.

"I am sure." Gavner said. "I will return in several months though."

"Very well," Matt said. "I will set Matthew through the talent search test, then enroll him in our hero program. Maybe we can teach him a few things about Althanas."

"Matt, he knows more than you think." Gavner said with a smirk.

"Yes, he may know a lot about Althanas but he hasn't lived it yet." Matt said with a twinkle in his eye.

[matthewrramon]

"You had better come back." Matthew said scornfully to Gavner as he prepared to leave the colony.

They were in the room that Matt had let Gavner sleep in on their stay. It was a simple black with a dark colored dresser and a single mattress on the floor. Matt had wanted Gavner to stay longer so he could study the bond between Matthew and Gavner but Gavner had insisted he be on his way. Matt had concluded that the bond between Gavner and Matthew had gotten stronger in the time that they were together. Gavner had developed a minor physical link to Matthew, feeling potent feelings that he felt, but Matthew did not feel anything Gavner felt physically. Matthew did, however, feel potent emotions that Gavner felt.

"I will Matthew, I promise." Gavner said. "I just have some business to attend to with the clan. I will return as soon as I am finished, don't go anywhere."

"But I want to come with you!" Matthew whined.

"Matthew, you of all people should know that the clan does not tolerate humans in the stronghold." Gavner said soberly.

"But I created the freaking clan!" Exclaimed Matthew.

"Yes but they do not know that." Gavner said, remaining calm and patient. "You know the penalty of trespassing during a council is death."

"Yeah," Matthew said slowly. "But-"

"I will not be gone for long." Gavner said, "Give me a few months. I'll be back before you know it."

Matthew grunted begrudgingly but fell silent. He knew that arguing would not help anything. Gavner and Matthew left the room and made their way to the wall at the edge of the city. The guard called down and Gavner told him he was leaving.

"One moment, I must obtain authorization to transport you across." The guard called down.

"Goodbye Gavner," Matthew said feeling sad.

"Aww don't be sad Matthew, I will be back real soon!" Gavner replied.

"Okay... Keep in touch alright?"

"I will." Gavner said with a smile. The guard appeared at the top of the wall, stating Gavner had authorization to leave the colony.

"Wait wait wait!" Matthew said, "we need a secret handshake!"

"A what?" Gavner said confusedly.

"A secret hand shake. Here, hold out your hand."

Matthew established a handshake which consisted of hitting the palm of each others' hands, the back of each others' hands, touching their elbows and bringing their two index fingers up to their canines like fangs and hissing like cats. After saying goodbye Gavner was transported out of sight with a bright flash of light and Matthew was left staring at the wall. Turning around, Matthew headed in towards the city. There was so much to explore, and virtually nothing he could not do. He couldn't wait to get started.

[Quentin Boone]

Thread Title: And so it begins (http://www.althanas.com/showthread.php?27503)
Judgment Type: Condensed Rubric
Participants: matthewrramon, matthewkuch



Plot: 11/30
The thread had a LOT of potential for a great story, despite being very meta. Instead, it flew by in more or less a void and made very little sense - more of which will be discussed in other categories. The pacing was far too quick; and a slowing down of that pace would have helped establish some of the plot points better in a way that would have brought it to life instead of things simply falling into the reader's lap with little context. While there were attempts at describing setting, for the most part it was missing and lacked the detail to really immerse the reader. Using all five senses is essential to building a realistic, immersive setting that draws the reader into your story.



Character: 11/30
Character is where this story could have really shone: The teenager finding himself in the fantas world he wrote and meeting the characters he had created. It offered the opportunity for confusion, disbelief and outright denial mixed with fear, apprehension and hostility from those he tried to tell. Instead, Matthew just accepted it and moved on, not even trying to find some way back. Gavner and Matt's near-instant acceptance of Matthew's story also did not fit with what the reader would expect. Gavner's reluctant acceptance could have been believable given the information that nobody else could know that Matthew told him, but Matt's seemingly blind acceptance didn't ring true in the slightest. A higher score could have been achieved if you had included some of the more realistic and expected emotions and reactions listed above.

It's also worth noting that communication was quite weak. Except for the sailors early on in the thread, everyone sounded the same. This can be avoided by adding different mannerisms and actions to form each character's own individuality. Matthew could have used more modern speech patterns and words to denote his origin, for example.



Prose: 13/30
Your spelling was generally okay, although there were multiple grammatical errors throughout the thread. It is definitely worth proofreading your writing, or at the least put it a word processor with grammar checker, as this would have picked up most errors.

The simplistic manner of the writing was a double edged sword: It helped to maintain a general clarity, but lacked any techniques such as metaphors to add colour to the writing. By taking the time to describe setting and emotions further, you will naturally improve here as they are perfect places for natural metaphors. At times, however, the writing was difficult to follow due to issues with pacing and setting. Large jumps in time left the reader wondering what had happened in the missing time. A prime example of this is after the ship hit a rock. The thread immediately moved to a talent show, instead of giving any further explanation of how the disaster was dealt with. Clarity also suffered due to your lack of setting, as it became very difficult to really place the characters within their environment to know where they really were.

If you work on the areas of the rubric, your prose score will improve on its own, so don't worry too much about it, except for proof-reading.



Wildcard: 3/10
Overall, I was disappointed by what could have been a fantastic, character-driven story. I did award an extra point to the wildcard, though, for thinking of such a meta plot idea. I just wish it had been better executed.



Final Score: 38/100

matthewrramon (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?17468-matthewrramon) receives:


615 EXP!
A microphone that amplifies intended words spoken within ten feet of it to a radius of 50 yards. If the microphone is held no more than a foot from the user's mouth, it will project any words in a perfect of the voice of whomever its user wants to emulate.


matthewkuch (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?17109-matthewkuch) receives:


612 EXP!
76 GP!


Congratulations!

Please reference this post as proof of spoils as and when required. Also be aware that the microphone cannot be used to deceive in any way or in battles. This includes using it as a blunt weapon.

[Lye]

EXP & GP Added.