Water, Strait up...

[Daggertail]

“What a tourist trap!” Eris finally declared to the world after lunging about under a nice tree that moved it’s leafy branches to shade her. From trees that made sure you were in the shade to some buxom elf girl with a small brain and smaller clothing. This place was just made to rip gold from the unwary.

Still it was nice weather with the shoreline calling out peacefully to the demon girl. Sure it would be nice to have fun and goof around but there was work to be done and pearls to be stolen or some secret to how the farmers here cheat nature and get the precious gems so quickly. Of coarse they don’t sell it cheap despite the high supply, quite the opposite, it would be nigh impossible for Eris to buy one in 3000 years at the current rate that she was making money.

But buying one just isn’t the concern of thieves and since a rich man who was fed up with the overpriced compressed sand, he was hiring thieves to get them for a fair price and Eris really enjoyed the chance since pearls meant a nice warm coastline for a heist and pleasure and work could meet, but not at these prices.

“Well since I just can’t afford to have fun while I wait, he better hurry up.” Eris groaned as she flicked her tail and shot a nasty look to one of the elves that were paying too close attention. “Stop staring… not like I’m the only girl that’s capable of thinking in the world!” Her voice sent a young male elf to fleeing and getting far away from Eris who embarrassed him.

“Probably over 100, can’t these guys act their age.” The demoness sighed and started to fidget and plan.

Stealing the pearls would be the easiest since they’re easier to find but the better reward would be for finding out how they get to harvest so much. But who or what would have that information. Damn the treasure had to be kept on the bottom of some labyrinth, probably with some big monster that only lets certain people in and eats the rest. I hate it when people are so predictable.

[Ter-Thok]

A jaunty, open-air stagecoach bumbled down the road to the Tylmerande Barony. It was a light, greenish blue, and painted with seagulls, seashells, and of course, bore the seasmell. This was because the floor of the coach was filled with sand, in a misguided attempt at authenticity. It slowed to a stop in front of a small, beachy coaching inn, the impeccably groomed horses glancing blearily down at their own hooves, as if embarrased to be hitched to such a ridiculous cargo. The elf who steered them, in his open-front tunic adorned with bright colors and images of tropical flowers with beige, stockingless pantaloons, removed the blackened glass spectacles he wore and squinted at his passengers.

"Alright, fine patrons," he recited into his enchanted Gem of Enloudening, "Thank you for riding the Tylmerande Beach Tourstravanganza. We hope that you enjoy your time here on the fabulous shores of Tylmerande, and if you're tempted to pick up some of our world-famous pearls, please, by all means, do so!" Said patrons, mostly wealthy and corpulent types from the larger cities of Corone, shuffled wearily out of the stagecoach, fanning themselves with whatever was handy. Their stocking-in-sandaled feet kicked up a fair amount of sand, and soon they were a distant herd of waddling, rosaceous tourists.

At last, not long after the coach had emptied, the last and reddest passenger disembarked. His name was Ter-Thok, and he was a demon from space. Drawing himself up to his full height of just under three feet, he arched his back until he felt all of the kinks pop out, then started heading towards the beach. The demon was glad to be out of that stagecoach; the odor had been unbearable, and for a being as short as him, the forest of bulk had been rather confining. Ter-Thok would never try to keep a low profile again. His next illicit activity would be announced by a stable of genetically-engineered shouting goats, while cannons fired disco-balls and lasers into the sky.

Shaking the sand out of his pant-cuffs, the demon looked around, trying to find that girl he'd met in that wretched dive. Finally, Ter-Thok managed to spot her lounging under a tree. Typical. The demon was somewhat torn, actually; on the one hand, he found the girl objectionable on an ideological level. She apparently styled herself a demon of some sort, and as Ter-Thok knew, his species, light-centuries away, were the only REAL demons. On the other hand, he had to work with the little snot for this whole...mission thing, since she'd beaten him to it. Thank gods he was genderless, or the whole thing might have gained another level of complication.

Ter-Thok's hooves cut parentheses into the sand as he crossed towards her, his ElectroProd banging lightly against his back, and his freshly-opened Iron Depleter dangling from his belt; he was prepared. Rather informally, the demon flopped down under the tree, a few inches away from the young lady. "Well, I'm here. I did some orbital recon, but didn't see anything interesting. Whatever they use to make these pearls, it's underneath something. My employee, Hans, is waiting about a mile offshore. I can contact him at a moment's notice. Let's get this out of the way; I'm Ter-Thok," he held his hand out agreeably, "And I've totally forgotten your name,"

[Daggertail]

“Oooo-Kay.” Eris said as she heard the other demon explain things. It was probably to impress her but instead confused her other than things she already knew. It was probably oysters that were making the pearls and some kind of altering magic. Though he did introduce his self and that was one thing that made life easier in not have to refer to someone as ‘you.’ “Umm that’s fine, I’m Eris Ririn, Scourge of the Shadow seas.” She smiled at that last part and took his hand to shake, remembering her days before getting stuck on Althanas without a ship, one of the greatest pirates in her world by her standards.

Eris looked out to sea a little bit as she tried to plan further in her own mind but coming up with nothing. “Guess we should check out the manor, there should be something that should help over there.” The demon girl stretched her tail as she started to walk, hoping that her partner was more than just talk. Though she did have a good feeling about him.

Sadly there just wasn’t much to work off from outside the gate to the Tylmerande grounds. Just the pastel grass and trees and coast line as everywhere else and one nasty fence that seemed to be made out of a thorny bush that liked the taste of birds. “Paranoia strikes again!” The ex-pirate sighed as she tossed a stick at the living fence, the vines tangled the twig and started to crush it. There should be a nice way in but it had yet to occur in her mind.

“Any bright ideas?” Eris asked with half hope and half wonderment, might be a good idea to see how well he could get through this. Better to know now than when pushed into a hard spot. It shouldn’t be too hard but it was nice to take things easy until they got tough. No sense wearing yourself out in the beginning.

[Ter-Thok]

A salty breeze licked Ter-Thok's clothes as he stood to follow his newfound associate. He doubted that she'd have the same performance standards as anyone he'd worked with off-planet, but at least she had drive. The demon stroked his chin thoughtfully, observing the mass of angry plant-life. "Typical elven strategy," he said at last, "It'd be easy to burn through that, but it would attract a lot of unwanted attention. We need to do this thing quiet, I think. Clean."

Ter-Thok pulled his SpacePDA© from his pocket and brought up the orbital imaging. Though there was nothing out of the ordinary happening within the compound, it revealed that they had clearly thought out their defenses. In addition to the living fence on either side of the gates, there were stone walls about twenty feet high extending straight down to the ocean, upon which point they became wooden structures which stuck out nearly thirty yards into the ocean itself; obviously, to protect their pearl farm. Armed guards patrolled along the entire length of the wall which was not clearly visible to tourists. Ter-Thok nudged his companion with an elbow, holding out the SpacePDA© for her to see.

"The way I see it, we have two options. Either way, we need to wait until nightfall. There'll probably be more guards then, but elves aren't reknowned for seeing in the dark, so we should be alright. I suggest we get a room at that little coaching inn up the road; we can probably talk more freely there, if you know what I mean," The demon pointed surreptitiously behind them, where a elf in black formal wear and smoked glasses was trying desperately to look inconspicuous. A buddy of his was reading a newspaper on a bench a few feet away, though oddly the paper had a pair of holes cut into it. Still another was talking suspiciously into an enchanted seashell, his eyes darting back and forth constantly.

"It's almost kinda sad, isn't it? Like watching a pig wear a bikini,"

[Daggertail]

wow he has a lot of toys! Eris thought as she looked over the odd device that her smaller partner was showing. It was mostly flash to the demon girl who didn’t care much for little things that weren’t going to get her closer to getting the mission done but complaining about it wouldn’t help if it unsettled her companion so she listened politely. Though the fact that all he came up with was wait until nightfall, making her tail thrash with a slight ire. Anyone could have thought about that, and even could see the guards too, since they were utterly incompetent.

Well it was better than him having nothing or missing the sore thumb spies. “Alright, lets retire to the inn. But I’m not sure how much more room we’d have to talk.” Eris whispered back trying to keep her patience before giving a dark laugh. “Who knew elves could get so fat!” Eris pointed to one elf that might have been the fattest there then she spoke to the strange elves that were tailing her. “Come to see the man eating plant too? Isn’t it one of the better sights around here. I knew we’d have fun.” Then she whispered to her friend, “Just acting a tourist, loud and stupid. They’ll probably not follow as close now.”

The ex-piratess started to move to the inn at a fast pace, hopefully she could have her curiosity sated when Ter-Thok finally divulged his plans. It was eating at her on how she should go about this plan. Once at the quaint little inn that looked more human than elfin with its rather plain painted wood and windows and not the flair that elves had when going about their woodwork. “One room please.” The demoness put down some coins and went up to the room, hurrying her companion along.

Once she was in the room, Eris looked about to see if there was any watch holes or hear if someone was listening and once she was sure she was alone with her partner. “I much prefer taking stuff at the point of a sword, this sneaking about isn’t very fun and it’s just not cool when the guards are so stupid.” Eris whined before her voice picked up.”So what’s the plan?”

[Ter-Thok]

Ter-Thok told himself he shouldn't have had high expectations, but he was still intensely disappointed by the room. With a resigned sigh, the demon flopped down on the straw-stuffed mattress and gazed up at the ceiling. Growing bored with the splintering, unpainted view that filled his eyes, he sat back up. Ter-Thok dropped his rucksack at the foot of the bed, drew the shades (taking a moment to admire the admittedly beautiful ocean vista), and turned to his somewhat bewildering partner. It was nice that she had paid for the whole room herself, but the tourist act was something he hadn't thought too hard about. It could prove advantageous...

"What a crap-hole," he muttered, "Probably spent all their cash on protecting those damn pearls. Okay, here's the deal, we'll have to make this quick; it'd be a bit suspicious for tourists to spend the whole day in their hotel room, right? So, we go out and look like we aren't bored as hell until the sun starts to set. Then, we come back here as publicly as we can, and sneak out this window here," the demon tapped dully on the yellowy, fly-specked panes, "and make our way towards the pearl estate."

Ter-Thok fiddled with his SpacePDA©, and the center of the room suddenly lit up with an enormous white, slightly transparent rectangle. Faint lines of light connected it to a bowl-shaped device connected to the gadget. Whipping out a stylus, the demon began scribbling on his own screen, causing identical markings to manifest themselves on the hologram. They eventually formed a basic image of the Tylmerande Grounds on one side, and a rather neat little pair of caricatures of Eris and Ter-Thok himself.

"Okay, so here it is," the demon drew an arrow from the caricatures leading over the pearl estate's walls, "If you can fly, we fly over, eliminating at least one guard. We steal his uniform, and, combining it with this-" Ter-Thok extracted an oiled leather raincoat from his rucksack, "Pretend to be an employee who grew tired of the chill and the spray. You stand on my soldiers and endeavour to look...elfy.

"Alternatively," the demon scribbled out the arrow leading over the walls, "We have my employee Hans form an air-filled cavity within himself, which we ride in. I suggest sitting on a towel, Hans tends to...be made of goo. Hans carries us, unseen, under the water right up to that rickety wooden wall facing the ocean. We cut a hole in it, carefully, and you and I slip through. We snag as many pearls as we can carry, pass them through the hole to Hans, then proceed sneakily into the complex. Sneakily, I say, because guards that are bad at hiding are very, very good at hurting people."

Ter-Thok reached into his rucksack again and withdrew a blue, plastic sphere. With a swift motion, he punctured it's skin with a straw, and took a long drink. He exhaled, contented, a slight minty tinge to his breath. He crushed the emptied orb in his hand and tossed it into the corner carelessly. "Okay, so, the second one is probably more viable, but we're doing this thing democratically. So what do you think?"

* * *

About a mile offshore, near a crudely-made glass-and-wood buoy, there was an enormous red bulge in the ocean. It bobbed slightly with the current, as did the buoy. It was raining pretty heavily that far out, and a trio of seagulls had taken what little shelter the bowl of the buoy offered. There had been a quartet of seagulls, but one had ventured too close to the big, red bulge. The remaining three had flown off when a whip of crimson ooze had shot out and grabbed their companion, but it was raining pretty hard, and the seagulls would have admitted, had they been more than miserable, mite-infested vermin, that they would have eaten that gull too.

Eventually, a pair of huge, reflective, black eyes emerged from the red mass. They seemed to smile at the birds, and Hans, the ooze, said, "PURITTY BURDEES. PURITTY BURDEES WANT SEE WHAT HANS BEEN DOIN'?"

The gulls responded with their typical expression of impending food.

"HANS BEEN MAKIN' MACKERMAY! HANS MAKE DIS WALLERT, AN' NOW HANS FINE-LEE HAVE PLACE TO PUT HANS' MONEY! HANS SURE BURDEES 'PREESHATE HOW HANS' CRAFTIN' SKILLETS ARE IMPROVIN'."

One of the birds nipped at the poorly made seaweed wallet. A tiny fish fell out, and was promptly swallowed by the gull, before a scuffle with his compatriots could begin.

"HANS LIKE PURITTY BURDEES. HANS TOTE-LEE GONNA GET BIRDCAGE AN' TAKE BURDEES HOME WIF' HANS!"

One of the gulls emptied it's bowels on the buoy, calmly.