Man versus Pigs ((Version Two))

[Leaf]

OOC: I made the original thread open to one but two replied. Hence me making this. Here (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?27558-Man-versus-Pigs-%28%28Open-to-One%29%29) is the original thread

Using an edited version of the starter post as requested.

This is closed between Leaf and Alyssa Snow. Lar lar lar!

Pigs!

[Leaf]

"If you are going to be useful in anyway, I need a brother who can fight. Radasanth isn't Paradisia, Leaf, its not that perfect place you've known all your life. Its a city of drunkards and wretches, cheats and murderers. You are lucky you even got through the Gate!"

So had gone her excuse for setting him in the first battle. Now this was the second, and in the exact same arena.

The path up had been long and cobbled and tiresome, outside the main walls of the city. It led to the collosal towers of the grand citadel, a place of myth as far as he was concerned. Something out of a fairy tale, with monks defending its halls. Maybe a faun princess was somewhere up there, waiting for a knight to come by, and there would be a dragon to slay. Or maybe there would just be more truffles to find and harvest.

Now that would be a better situation. A much better way to spend a day. Not being forced to come to a fighting arena thing and be faced with the prospect of - what was it? Oh yes, dying.

He was, once more, standing in the middle of a hall, sandstone and glass galore. It was roughly circular in shape, like the central dome of a cathedral, and had pillars holding up a fractaled ceiling. One moment he had been awkwardly paddling his hooves as Philomel argued with one of the monks the next he had been here ... in this room ... with only his sickle and his pigs. His sickle was damascus, she had even paid some towards his upgrade but still he was not comfortable.

"My sickle is for farming, you do realise? I don't need it to be tough or slice people in half," he had said, yet she had still insisted.

Thor was just as happy, spinning around and around the feet of the three others.

Leaf stood in the centre, turning his sickle anxiously over in his hands. Cookie sat to his left, Popsy to his right, keeping their eyes out for the next fighter in the grand cathedral dome.

I hate this, Leaf thought, Hate this.

[Alyssa Snow]

The mage gunner materialized into the cathedral arena. Her light blonde hair, tied up in a rather long pony tail, fluttered to the small of her back. Her silken combat dress (https://farm3.staticflickr.com/2940/14093449668_18f40c42b2_o.jpg) came to rest against her fair skin, and her hands drifted to the two specialized revolvers (http://th00.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2011/319/8/e/scifi_snubnose_revolver___shot3_by_protecta-d4g97nl.jpg). She breathed in lightly and took note of the monks' ability to craft a dusty, stale aroma to match the arena. She did, however, scrunch her nose at one small detail: the scent of "What is that?! Manure?"

The girl cringed and stepped back a few paces.

"Ugh, it smells like some kind of pig stye in here!" she commented aloud.

A deep snort, followed by a robust grunt broke her from the dismay. Alyssa's crystalline blue eyes opened to the strangest sight of a half human and three assorted swines.

"Oh, by the Thaynes! That's you?!" she managed with her nose pinched between two fingers. She assessed the faun and his company with a judgmental stare. Not only did they bring to question what kind of clientele the Citadel permitted lately, but their contrast against the beautifully ornate stone and glass was just... wrong.

"What're you? A pig breeder? Please tell me you're not here to fight." Alyssa slowly removed her fingers from her nostrils, finally growing accustomed to the unique sent of dirt and fur. She half expected them to be tracking filth with each step. The mage gunner took a deep breath, stifled a cough, and exhaled. After which, the largest of the piglets snorted toward her with a rake of his rear hoof. Alyssa raised a brow.

"Is it me, or does that thing look hostile?" she remarked. The miniature boar did not break eye contact, and Alyssa felt in her gut she should not underestimate the beast. Her slender fingers thumbed the releases to both holsters. Her face locked in a mixture of preparation for a fight and utter confusion.

"If it comes at me, I'm putting a hole in it," she warned.

[Leaf]

Immediately Leaf found himself sighing.

"Look, they don't smell. You might just not be used to a farmland scent. They're actually very clean pigs."

Popsy snorted in response, her small pink and black splotched head nodding sharply. Just to prove her point she sniffed, and sent a fresh but stale scent through the minds of the other companions in the Truffle Possy.

"Exactly," Leaf smiled, agreeing with her, "Popsy had a bath this morning, after that other battle. Thor on the other hand ..."

His eyes dropped down to where Thor was stalking the girl. Looking something close to a baby boar he had the ferocity of a protective alpha wolf, and the spirit of an unresting ghost. With lips pulled back the boar was snarling, showing his fine large teeth, perfect for biting a hole in any flesh.

"Yeah, don't upset him."

Cookie let out a quick warning grunt. All three who were not practising their hunting glanced over to where his snout pointed, and where his mental vision showed. Two of those boom-things, that Philomel called ... pansys ... petunias ... no, "pistols" and had warned him to just avoid them at any cost.

"Gahhh!" he found himself loudly speaking, "Gahhhh ..."

Four of us and one of her, Leaf communicated as fast as he could, And we only have teeth, trotters and my sickle.

Letting out a high-pitched yell of combat Thor let loose on his trotters. As he did so Popsy and Cookie scampered around, ignoring all of Leaf's suggestions. They just ran, Cookie of course assuming comand, right in opposite directions, to take on this pistol girl from all directions.

[Alyssa Snow]

"Farmlands? Oh lords, no. I know what the woods smell like, but those things..." Alyssa gave each of them a second of her attention, each one very unassuming aside from the one called "Thor". "They smell like compost, mushrooms, and manure."

Her face wreathed into different expressions of disgust as she described each word. The tiny ones squeaked, squealed, and grunted. Oddly, Alyssa noticed them make eye contact with her, then turn to one another. She cocked her head in inquiry. Were they communicating?

While her brain tried to grasp the concept of sentient pigs, the goat man gave her quite the startle. He filled the cathedral with a sound somewhere in between choking and yelling.

"What in Hadia have I gotten myself into?" she thought, officially off put by the current encounter.

Alyssa startled again. This time, an aggressive little ball of meat and teeth loosed a deafening scream. The mage gunner winced, then all three of the swines began to charge.

"Are you serious?!" she exclaimed, gripping at her revolver with one hand and her combat knife at her back with the other. The one called Thor rampaged directly toward her with hooves pummeling the stone floors and teeth bared for attack. The one she thought was Popsy broke off to her right and the other to her left.

"A pincer attack?! By pigs?!"

If confusion was a tactic, the faun certainly succeeded. Alyssa paused for a moment in hopes this was some ploy, and they'd just be wanting to nuzzle up against her like puppies. This proved to be a grave mistake.

The smaller ones got to her first and rammed at her ankles. They were fast. She staggered, but successfully slipped both pistol and blade from their holsters. Just in time, too. Thor tried to take advantage of the stagger, and using what poor balance she had remaining, Alyssa hopped out of the way. It was a desperate maneuver to avoid the clamping jaws of the baby boar because when she landed, her ankle rolled. The shooting pain dropped her to her knees.

"Are you kidding me?!" she asked again in disbelief. She heard grunts and clapping of hooves against the stone. They weren't kidding.

Alyssa let an expletive slip from her lips. They were coming around for another assault. She struggled to stand through the pain, and began to limp away from the faun in an attempt to strafe the piglets. Her revolver came to level on the large one. Just then, the little pigs seemed to scatter in response. She cursed, tried to lead them as they approached, and pulled the trigger. The sound of gunfire was unorthodox and made a noise closer to steel colliding with stone. Instead of a fragment of metal, a bolt of frigid ice left the muzzle at the speed of any crossbow. It blurred towards Thor.

Another shot. This one towards the ducking and weaving piglet yet to be named.

And the one he called Plopsy... was no where to be seen.

"What the hell do you feed these things?!" Alyssa shouted to the faun.

[Leaf]

They ringed around the pistoleer with the vivacity of veangeful spirits. Running as fast as tiny trotters can carry the body of a reduced-growth pig, the three of them attacked in what best way they knew. As Popsy and Cookie slammed into the ankles of the girl Leaf ripped his sickle from its sheath. Its dark blade sung with a heart as heavy as his, for he was uncertain beyond all doubt.

"I don't know if ..."

But his sentence was cast to nought as their attacker stumbled. Her feet caught beneath her and Thor let out a roar beyond anything that could be controlled.

WE ARE THE PIGS, his voice, his thoughts, his emotions declared, WE ARE WHO WE ARE AND WE DO NOT STINK.

The father of the pigs swept up his blade in defence as she prepared her weapons. Everything within him was severely regretting this decision right now, to allow himself to be dragged into a fight. To be persuaded by the same being who had killed his ... their father, it was ironic. It was not the way Leaf had planned to spend his day - but then the pigs did seem to be enjoying themselves. Anxiously he kept on his guard, knowing that this simple enthuiasm could be the death of them all.

As she readied her boom-stick Leaf let out a basic warning. He bleated, high and as powerfully as any oink, and sent a passionate plea to them all. A bang went off, and a spark of light. Thor had been baying, charging at full pelt with jaw hanging open, yet he moved when he sensed what was happening. Well before she had even pointed it at him. Skipping on back right trotter he sprinted around, swirling to duck cover behind Leaf as the other two moved like sychronised dancers.

Yet their attackers senses were sharp as Cookie's eyes were at seeing. No sooner had she let off one shot towards the biter than she transferred her attention to the leader. All teeth bared, all voices growled, Leaf tried to pounce and twist to block the spark of the bolted bullet - but he was too late. Something light and glimmering and cold slammed into the haunch of Cookie's side, sending a jolt of pain into all of their minds.

Freezing, ouch, cold-white burning like snow cold, OW.

"Get off my PIGS!" Leaf screamed, and he let the fury over take him. So much anger, so much rage that he was an expert in keeping dull. Temper, temper, his ire rarely rose but this time ... this time with direct harm to such a dear friend.

His hooves spun his body in a swarming balanced circle. Cookie lay on the ground, squealing in pain and horror, but the girl had already made her blow. She had done her step in this dance, and now the truffle-trader would reply, ferociously.

Slip, flick, the damascus blade was aimed hard and fast as a downstroke to the pistoleer's wrist. Charge, hard previously protected by the faun's body Thor now took the opportunity to duck out once more. Slipping out from between Leaf's legs he joined his movements in situ, and spread open his maw to aim for the girl's ankle - hoping that pain and suffering would cause her to apologise.

[Alyssa Snow]

The needles of ice sang through the air. Deceivingly, the larger of the three nimbly avoided a hole to the head. Alternately, the more nimble of the three released a stomach churning shrill as Alyssa's ice bolt buried deep into its rear haunch. The girl, never really intending to harm the piglets, stopped her limped strafe and took a deep breath in shock. The pressing matter of attacking killer pigs devolved into animal compassion.

"Oh Thaynes!" she exclaimed at the sight of the writhing piglet. "I'm am so sorry! Really, I just wanted to spook them. I didn't mean to--"

Her words drowned out under the battle cry of the faun. Alyssa adverted her concerned gaze towards him as he closed the gap between them. The sudden realization that a true battle had begun struck her like a war hammer and barely in time. His agile display of movement turned deadly as a sickle careened for her wrist. She tried to pull away from sudden dismemberment only to wince at the sound of metal on metal. His sickle collided with her combat knife. No thanks to the confusion of the situation, Alyssa was not prepared for the blow, and the impact drove the blade from her hands.

The gunner hopped twice in retreat, taking care not to stress the injury pulsing from her ankle. The hidden swine, Thor, had other plans. He maneuvered from behind the faun, just under the girl's field of vision. By the time she noticed movement, it was too late. The toothy animal gnashed its maw and found its mark into her injured ankle. Alyssa shrieked at a volume to dwarf the squealing piglet. Thor's teeth punctured leather and flesh alike, going as far as the bone of her shin. Her mental reminder to keep weight off it faded in the pain. Before she knew it, her weight buckled and sent her to the stone floor yet again.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Alyssa pleaded to the vengeful creature. It maintained its grip. Alyssa leveled her revolver between its eyes.

"I SAID STOP!" She pulled the trigger. Her wrist jerked as another bolt of ice left the barrel. She pulled it again. Then, again.

[Leaf]

Internally, Leaf let out a private cry of joy as his mighty farming tool was dislodged from the girl's hand. It was a small feat, as she still had those crazy bang-bang things that had already harmed Cookie to force him to the ground, but a feat none the less. The three of them remaining, together, would build up such a power that it would send her into panic, and into heart-felt emotion.

She cried out twice. Firstly to proclaim that she did not mean to harm then, and then again in pain when Thor clamped his jaws down upon her ankle. Apparently the agony was brutal and he managed to get through to the muscle with his boar miniature tusks. The cries were in quick succession and they ended with her on the floor, flailing around. Thor still remained where he was, clamping hard on the flesh, and Leaf kept upright, sickle in hand, though his eyes moved to the knife she had dropped. As she screamed something about wanting them to, "stop," Leaf felt the words slip out from his mouth and he ducked down for the knife.

"You started it," he said quietly, and scooped the thing up.

The loud banging happened again. The shivering impact of the consequences from the before pistol still resounded through all four systems - but this time it was fresh and in a new place.

Thor thrashed as he tried to keep a hold of her ankle. He bit, deeper, and gained a fresh morsel of her bone, just as a flash of white zoomed into being. Another loud bang but he was already off the ankle and -

HATE COLD. White. PAIN. Don't like. No like. Cold, ice. Stuck to - ouch!

The second shot - in reality the fourth all together - slammed off somewhere but Thor was already downed. It left Popsy and Leaf alone, and the faun did not have any courage or belief in himself to think he could do this alone. Popsy reeled in trauma as she felt the discomfort of her brother's injuries, and it sent her tottering around on her feet - yet she still kept up her prancing circles. Round and around she went, encompassing the girl, the faun and the injured pigs, round and around she went. Faster on trotters than was surprisingly possible.

Knife and sickle. Leaf took the oppurtunity he thought his sister would. As the second was loosened out he leapt forwards, pouncing from his knees as if he were a cat and aimed for the bang-bang lady's hand. All he had to do was cut. He had already cut once so that meant he might be able to do it again. And she was already lying on the ground, thanks to Thor.

Cold. Hate COLD.

"Yes I know," Leaf nodded, striking down, "I know. I hate snow too."

[Alyssa Snow]

Between winces and heavy breaths, the mage gunner lowered her chilled revolver and laid it down on the dusty stone floor. The pressure from the beast's maw began to subside. Then, as any animal would do trapped in a snare, she quickly tried to pry it off. The beast, somehow still alive, made the ordeal much more difficult. Alyssa's small, frail hands gripped at its snout and lower jaw. She felt the odd mixture of warm blood and saliva mixing with the swine's chilled vitae that stemmed from the prongs of ice. Alyssa stifled her screams of pain as slowly, but surely, its tusks slid from her leg.

With a spatter of red upon the cathedral floor and a soft thud from the downed boar, she was free. The pain, on the other hand, still remained. Alyssa clutched at the seeping wound and tried to hold back tears. She would not be walking from this. A small flare of anger bubbled up through the anguish.

"I fucking told you..." she muttered through clenched teeth, "... I'd put a hole in this thing."

The clatter of small hooves that echoed off the walls began to beat in her head like drums of war. Faster, the small piglet sped around her and faster, the pounding of aggression grew. The mage gunner's ragged breaths steadied and bloodied fist clenched. The sound of steel scraping against the stone floor snapped her eyes to the faun. Her icy blue gaze narrowed with fierce intent. He looked back to her with an expression of premature amusement and charged her way.

One lesson Alyssa had learned in her years fleeing from Aleran soldiers, trying to survive in the wilderness: never charge a cornered animal.

Alyssa slapped her wet palms against the floor behind her, bent her only good knee, and clenched her teeth at the sound of his oncoming assault. His sickle and her own knife raised as he took flight. Alyssa tensed. His weapons came down.

With all the adrenaline fueled strength she could muster, the girl pushed off from the stone. Her body rolled to the side, narrowly avoiding a punctured lung and gouged shoulder. She stopped her momentum with a slap of her arm to the floor, snapped her other hand to her second revolver, drew it in a flash, and sighted the faun in the front post of the muzzle.

"Fuck you," she spat.

Two prongs of ice left a chilled trail in the air.

[Leaf]

"Winter bites with its teeth or lashes with its tail."

Those are the weapons of the chill-tide. Those are the weapons of the frost. Those are weapons of the coldest season, a million degrees below the heat of a furnace.

As the crystal shards sped from the barrel of the pistol Leaf lunged again. The first time the knife and sickle met the cobbles with an unsuspecting clatter. That time the girl had moved, using all the agility of a desperate lover, unable to stand due to the chunk of flesh ripped from her ankle. Her two victims were unavoidably present in the depths of his mind, calling out in pain and horror and hatred. In his heart Leaf felt the fury of the ages, something he rarely let himself experience. Temper, after all, was the cause of so many wars. It fueled arguments, ruined marriages, tore asunder lives and families. For all its purposes it was useless and so for years he had dedicated hours of his time to keeping back the tide of ire. He was an expert in it. The life of a farmer was a simple and relaxing one, and had allowed him so much time to meditate and control his state of mind into a state most peaceful.

Yet -

Two bodies of two beloveds writhing in agony. A shared mind meant a shared experience, meant a shared pain, and it filled Leaf with such anger he could have taken on hell. And likely failed, but that was not the point. The point was his willingness to throw himself into death if that was what it meant getting his revenge, and thus, he aimed to strike again. He flourished forwards with the stolen blade and his farming tool, letting out a might bleat of challenge, but not before she fired. Two stinging frigid things, one shortly after the other, buried themselves into his gut, and he toppled off course, his might suddenly ended.

And then interia took over. Gravity became a reality and the faun farmer fell, straight down as the shriek echoed out of his mouth. It was like a cry of a raped woman, the scream of a stolen child, the screech of a burning witch. With his fall came the blades, and by sheer coincidence to where he had been they fell down with him, flailing, towards the girl's lap. Leaf was still alive, but the pain was real, and the sharpness of the ice bullets were not ebbing away. They stole his energy and forced him down to the floor.

Down to the same cobbles where Popsy still ran, her tongue now out of her mouth. Her eyes were wide open, her spirit was free, and she took the chance to dart in, right to where the limp girl's side was. One quick bite she aimed for, and then away again she would go, back across the dust and stone to get her family their winning revenge.

[Alyssa Snow]

The mage gunner exhaled in relief as both spells hit home. The shimmering crystals of ice, pointed sharp as any arrow, bit and buried into the faun. Her relief was short lived, and as though driven by a rage, the man-beast angled his blades toward her. She cursed her inability to hit something more vital. With her position compromised to execute another roll and pain too prominent to focus on another means of escape, Alyssa let instincts take over.

The faun fell, blades poised to strike, and her boot rose to meet his face. The mage gunner winced when it made contact and jostled her body. It slid her backwards as he continued to descend, and two instances of searing pain forced Alyssa to cry out. Both her knife and the sickle came down just short of her abdomen and opened two deep wounds on her thigh. Her leg buckled, blood spattered on the church floor, and the faun slumped forward. His horned head came down into her gut and forced the air from her lungs. She gasped. Stars filled her vision. Her ears rang.

Alyssa winced as the faun, still alive, tried to gain his bearings. Weak armed, she rose her pistol to his head. This had to end.

"Burn in hell," she hissed.

As her finger squeezed the trigger, another bout of pain from her side misdirected the muzzle just by a hair's breadth. Ice chimed as it formed, shimmered through the air, and collided with one of the stained glass windows. Alyssa shrieked again at the stabbing pain and directed her attention to the source only to see the final remaining piglet release its teeth from her and dart off.

She struggled to breathe, struggled to see, and struggled to think. The pain, blood loss, and fatigue rattled at her consciousness. As the serene chime of broken glass dancing against the stone floor and the war-like clatter of miniature hooves rang out, the mage gunner rest her head against the stone. She blinked upward toward the rays of light trickling trough the stained panes above. She focused on taking breath. She gripped her pistol, and tried to take her mind from the pain.

"Pigs," she chuckled in a delirium. "Attacked by pigs..."

All the meanwhile, the faun still drew breath.

[Leaf]

Words wheezed unsymapthically from his throat as he lay there, bleeding and freezing and exhausted beyond any other pain he had ever endured. If he had known that it would feel like this, like the journey to death would feel like this, that his world could feel like this, he would never had left Paradisia in the first place. He tried to stutter a courageous reply but it only came out as a single breathy word, and that word was full of cursing and damage and agony.

"Hhhelllll ..."

Hell. His eyes slid closed as he pushed himself further away from the girl. From where he lay he could tell she was still alive, but struggling as much as he did. Apparently his fall had not only made her upper leg wound, but had also knocked some wind into her belly when his horn collided with her.

Well, it was useful being a faun. Their basic weapon was their ram-like horns, that could take a lungful of air from the chest of any brute. That and their hooves combined gave the basis for a war-like race, very dissimilar from the farmers and slate-miners that they were. Leaf had not meant it to occur, but it had happened, and in a way he was thankful, as he lay there in distant realm of hope.

His mind wandered, and gently touched the two presences that still gave him an element of cold, numbing, hating pain. Both boars were still aware, they were still within an unconcious state, but they were downed and barely able to move. Thor, for all his strength and determination was still bellowing out a challenge, daring the almost dead pistoleer to fight him until her last breath, but that was his fighting spirit. Leaf swallowed, and sent out a settling message of peace, then let his mind continue on as he found the fleet trotters of the only one still in health.

Quickly, and swiftly, he gave Popsy an image of the girl's neck. That would be the weakspot now. They had ruined her ankle to hobble her, got her side and thighs, and now a finishing blow would be the chest or throat. Since she was likewise grounded only a few steps would take Popsy to the point and bring about a finishing blow. A pigs bite was terrible, but a blade would do more damage here. Leaf lay still, feigning absolute unconciousness, and loosened his hold on the knife, where it lay to his side and behind him after his fall, far enough away from the girl that she would not realise what would be happening until it happened.

Keep your nose out, my dear, he told the sow, Smell her fear and her weakpoint and keep that in mind. You need to be fast, and just, and keep out of the way of the bang-machine.

Popsy let out a mindful quiet oink, her trotters all the while skittering around as she kept her pace to dodge whatever might come her way. Her eyes focused onto the blade that her jaws would just-so be able to settle around, and the point of Leaf's shoulder where she would leap from, to aim for the villain's neck. Hopefully she would land on the chest, sharp trotters would cause some pain and the edge or point of the knife would - well, penetrate skin. It was a plan, and it was a pig. And pigs are capable of vast intelligence, and these pigs were more so.

She snorted, then pulled herself from the other minds. Full concentration was needed, no mind and no pain of brothers or faun to distract her. It was down to her. Little cute piglet kept running, the black of her splotches merging with the white skin as she gathered her thoughts and chose the time perfectly. Leaf twitched, in his pretend-sleep and groaned.

A distraction. Good.

Popsy skid, and lunged. And swiftly ran to the knife, to operate the hopefully final stroke of the truffle-hunters' glorious battle.

[Alyssa Snow]

The mage gunner let out a soft moan as the faun rolled away from her. Her breathes were still shallow, but Alyssa felt a relief of pressure. She drew a few long gasps of air. Though her stomach ached and chest throbbed, the ringing faded. She struggled, but began to regain her bearings. With her unarmed hand gripped tightly on the bite mark on her side, the battered blonde turned her head toward the faun. His eyes remained closed, but his ribs moved slowly with each breath. Alyssa noted the growing shimmer of red beneath him.

"Listen," she wheezed, then took a moment to gain her voice. "Let's call a truce."

The faun shifted then let out a moan.

"I never meant to hurt your pi--"

And like a scene from a bizarre story, a piglet took flight into her field of vision. Though its speed was incredible, time offered to stop for the slightest of moments. There it hovered, mid-air, above its fallen master, and backlit by the full spectrum of color which shone through the stained glass behind. People often joked about 'when pigs flew', but this fraction of time could only be perfected by a choir of angels. It was majestic, adorable, and intimidating in only the slightest. Its cute snub nose flared, its tiny hooves extended, the curl of a tail sprung about, the knife in its adorable mouth glistened...

"Wait... is that my knife?!"

Alyssa grew wide eyed, panic set in, and the frozen minuet of time shattered back to reality. The mage gunner flung her arms up as the only thing that came to mind. Its little hooves felt like daggers through the silk of her clothes as it landed. Her hands made contact with the silken, pink skin of the animal and began to push. Sharp stinging drew across Alyssa's throat and with all her might, she shoved the piglet off and away from her. The gunner's mind raced and she snapped her hands to her throat. Alyssa sat up and involuntarily pushed herself along the floor. Even her injured legs kicked and stirred. Her breathes quickened into hyperventilation and back pressed up against the wall.

Her breaths...

As she drew panicked lungfuls of air, she pulled her hand away and to her eyes. Red stained her gloves, but as she kept breathing, her mind settled. She quickly dabbed her neck again and looked at the blood. Her breathing slowed. While she looked at the mediocre shimmer of fluid, took more dry breathes, and noticed a lack of fading vision, Alyssa knew that somehow she managed to avoid the worst. It may have been luck or a pig's lack of opposable thumbs, but she was alive.

For now.

Her panic devolved to revenge. Pale blue eyes still wide with shock, scattered to find the remaining swine. The clatter of its hooves sounded and drew the gunner's attention. Alyssa grit her teeth, found her grip still upon her magnums, and brought it to level against the two remaining grand windows. One, two - they shattered at the sound crackling ice. Rainbow fragments of razor sharp glass showered down and chimed against the cathedral floor. Shards skittered and bounced along to all nooks and crannies while Alyssa snapped her frost-bitten muzzle to the armed piglet. She scowled at it.

"I'm never eating bacon again..."

Bang!

[Leaf]

"I never meant to hurt your pigs."

Well. Fat lot of good that led too.

Leaf lay there, flat out and energy all but spent. He had been feigning, up to now, his unconcious state, but as Popsy flew over his head, launching from his shoulder, he opened his eyes with a flash of determination. Hands still grasped around the weapons, albeit loosely, he intended to get up, sit up and cheer her on as she finished off the girl. The cry will fill the hall, using the depth of it triumphantly with a myriad of echoes.

That was his intention, anyway. But practise was an entirely other existence. As he tried to sit up the pain lacerated around his joints and sent his body into a weakening spasm, rattling the very bones that the sow had used to fly ...

Patter patter, panic patter. Popsy was on the move again. A glint of falling light and a small clatter told Leaf that she had dropped the knife and was now moving, running as fast as she could. He heard gasping, gulping from somewhere, but he could not be sure. Maybe it was Thor, dying, maybe it was himself, frigid in his energy-less state. The angle of his head, at least, could be adjusted, and it allowed his eyesight, dim as it were and blurred about the periphery, to follow the tiny pig as she tried to escape from -

The earth shattered. Or maybe it was the sky. Colour, dazzling light, a million darting specks of dancing beams filled up the air, scattering the everything and nothing to everywhere and nowhere. Three - or was it four - thuds or skips or pops sent the hazy ceiling into a breaking up of existence. It was beautiful, and catastrophic and sent chaos out of order, out of rainbow, out of bread, out of urinal, out of ...

What was that again?

Leaf couldn't remember. His mind was suddenly laden with too many things. Such as clouds and rain, and ovens and cakes, and piss and gutters. He remembered that, once, Popsy had wanted a sugar tart and that had led to him meeting his sister. Ahh, his beautiful sister, so ... sexy. Such a very good example of a faun. She was only his half-sister, come on, so it didn't really matter. Who cared if she had killed his father, what did that matter? She was rich, connected, beautiful, Leaf could totally have his way with her ...

Dumph. Things bit into his skin. Many things, they skidded across his flesh and collided with the earth. Leaf threw an arm across his face, it seemed intelligent as the lights caught up with the ground, but he could not remember why. As he slipped back into dream-land something soft and warm fell to his side, and he decided to hug it. Strangely, it was shaped like the pig he loved and liked to call Popsy, so he cuddled it close. It whined, and snuggled back. Leaf was happy.

His head tipped back and he fell into a state of the void. The other pigs around him shivered in pain, each disconnected from the other and lonely as they had begun. The four casualities in the room lay there, still and as unmoving for as long as malicious time could offer, surrounded in the broken glass of three tall windows of untold splendour and mythology.

Agonising peace was on them all.

[Alyssa Snow]

Remanent chimes of glass settling into place stood between bloody chaos and peaceful silence. Alyssa's ragged and irregular breaths filled the brief pauses. Her hand quivered slightly with her pistol still outstretched. The anger, rage, and panic simmered and stilled. Her fast heartbeat calmed and adrenaline faded. Her last bout of strength returned to the painful, exhausting, and weary reality.

It was over.

It was finally over.

She let her hand fall to her side and let her weary head smack against the stones behind her. The constant hammer of hooves no longer plagued her. Panic and confusion ebbed away from her mind. In the fragmented ruins of shattered glass, the quaint little cathedral calmed. Reflections of light pained the walls, ceiling, floor and detracted from the spatter of blood tainting the holy ground. The mage gunner let her eyes lose their focus in the myriad of color and welcomed quiet. The soft murmurs of injured beasts and man-creatures failed to reach her ears. Like a child's pretty doll, Alyssa lay limp, forgotten, misplaced, abused, and alone. She cracked a faint smile and gulped. Her neck seared with a dying pain.

"Sorry," she softly managed.

Petty apologies meant nothing in light of the carnage. She knew it, but either the delirium of blood loss or guilt tugged away at her actions toward her opponent. She took another breath, this time shallow. A ray of light sparkled off the rim of growing red around her thigh and glistened off the tiny river streaming from neck to cleavage. She took another breath.

"Tired..."

The girl closed her eyes. Her chest stilled. Her head hung loose.

Then, like an angel, the haze of white took them all. The Citadel monks ended their illusions. The bizarre, unorthodox, and gruesome battle concluded.

There were no victors this day, only victims.

[Quentin Boone]

Thread Title: Man versus Pigs ((Version Two)) (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?27559-Man-versus-Pigs-((Version-Two))
Judgment Type: Full Rubric
Participants: Leaf vs Alyssa Snow



Plot: 14 --- 14

Story- 5/10---4/10
Both writers did a good job of telling a good story in the fight. It was an interesting tale of a woman fighting for her life against a man and his pigs that was original and interesting but held nothing too special.

Leaf won out here because she did a better job of connecting the fight to her character's past. Alyssa's story here was much more of a simple snippet that didn't really connect itself to a larger picture.

Setting- 5/10---6/10
Both writers did a good job of building the setting in the first few posts and it shone in the reader's mind. However, as the thread progressed, it lost its luster as descriptions dropped off. It's important to keep the setting in the reader's mind throughout the course of a thread, and you can do so by including little snippets of information with every post (beyond the floor!) - sight, sound, touch, smell and taste can all really bring a setting to life.

Alyssa wins out here due to his interaction with the setting, especially later on in the thread, and his use of smell in the early goings to describe the pigs' presence.

Pacing- 4/10---4/10
Both writers did a poor job here. This was mostly due to almost every post being a recap of the one before it. The reader doesn't need to be told something happened more than once. The most prominent example is when the pig jumped off Leaf's shoulder; this was described a total of three times. A way both writers can improve on this is by not including so many actions in each post - one will suffice and allows the other writer to respond properly without jarring the pace of the thread.



Character: 20 --- 19

Communication- 7/10---7/10
Both writers used communication very well here and it was used to effectively convey each character's personality. Highlights were Alyssa's distate at the pigs and Leaf's protestations about the pigs not being unclean creatures. Both characters' voices really rang through to the reader. For both writers, more non-spoken communication would have yielded a higher score for you - body language, little nuances, etc all add to communication and can give depth.

Action-6/10---6/10
Leaf showed a definite flair for tactics in this fight - the use of the pigs was excellent. Alyssa's actions stayed within character at all times and were very realistic. Shooting the window was a stroke of genius to end the fight and conclude the carnage.

Leaf loses out on the win here only because of a couple of inconsistencies - When Leaf attacked ALyssa and hit her gun, Leaf later described it as a 'cut' when that wasn't the case. Also, the third incarnation of the pig leaping off Leaf's shoulder then resulted in completely different actions to the first (Leaf's) description of the scene and completely nullified Alyssa's previous post.

Persona- 7/10---6/10
Persona actually played a key part in this battle. Leaf's hesitance and reluctance to fight and Alyssa's distaste towards the pigs gave a brilliant start and as the fight progressed, each character's emotions developed differently to drive their actions.

Leaf did a great job of showing Thor's aggressiveness and eagerness to fight. Leaf's anger at Alyssa's attack on the pigs felt justified and realistic. Though it was inferred, it would have been nice to see more explicit reasoning for him completely losing his cool after spending so long tuning his temper. Sure, the pigs were attacked and hurt, but it surely wasn't the first time that happened. That being said, it was a great job and all three of the pigs had distinct personalities that shone through.

Alyssa also did a great job of showing his character's persona from the outset and the initial disgust at the smell of the pigs was both realistic and hilarious. It was also realistic to threaten the animals, then feel regret when seeing the 'cute little thing' in pain after the first shot. That regret and desire throughout the rest of the thread to not hurt them didn't ring true with the actions though; it would have been more realistic to see Alyssa struggle with survival instincts to ensure she didn't hurt the pigs instead of just gunning them all down and would have given a greater insight into her persona.



Prose: 16 --- 17

Mechanics- 6/10---6/10
Both writers did a good job here. There were few errors, and those that were present could have been spotted with a proof read. Occasionally, both writers had sentence structure anomalies, but there was nothing too glaring.

If either of you want more detailed, specific feedback in this area, feel free to PM me.

Clarity- 5/10---6/10
A lot of this score was determined by other areas. Most specifically the comments made in relation to Pacing and the rehashing of information. This hurt the clarity of the thread and made it difficult to know exactly what was happening and when.

Both of you were generally pretty clear in what was happening when you were writing new actions but Alyssa takes the win due to a few occasions where Leaf's actions weren't explained very clearly, forcing the reader to take a second read through to get the real picture.

If you want more specific, detailed feedback on this, Leaf, feel free to PM me.

Technique- 5/10---5/10
Both writers demonstrated comfort with personal style and it was generally carried off quite well. Leaf did a brilliant job of using internal dialogue and used emphasis in all the right places to hit home key points. Alyssa did a great job of using imagery to add colour to descriptions and narrative.

Both writers could have improved here by using more advanced techniques like foreshadowing or pacing adjustments to add emphasis, tension and suspense.



Wildcard: 7 --- 8
Honestly, this was a good fight. Both of you did a brilliant job and with pretty new characters as well - they both really shone through in your writing. Leaf showed great tactical prowess with how the pigs were utilised. But the higher score here has to go to Alyssa who made me laugh out loud with her reaction to the smell of the pigs!



Final Score: 57---58

Alyssa Snow (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?17460) Wins!:


525 EXP!
82 GP!

Congratulations!


Leaf (http://www.althanas.com/world/member.php?17449) Receives:


158 EXP!
41 GP!

[Alyssa Snow]

EXP & GP Added!