Things An Althanian Would Never Say: Part Something

[Lucien]

Am I going to Hell for continously reviving these dead, old threads from the old board? Yes. Do I care? Not really.

Here's how it works folks. You take an Althanas character (or a wee bit o' the OOC) and have them say something they normal wouldn't. Example? Simple enough.

Ex. Lucien: I've decided to become a lesbian.

It's 9 in the morning folks, I ain't got my A game on yet.

It can be your character, another character, or even some OOC (just try not to make it hurtful. Yeah, I know you will, just try not to.) So, yeah, get to work.

[Cyrus the virus]

Cory: I am not a skanky slut.

Izvilvin: English!

Witchblade: Can I try on that codpiece?

[Alberdyne_Cormyr]

Screw women I'm going gay all the way.

Hahahah I couldn't help that one. (By the by Lorenor is my character and was originally bi sexual that way the joke makes more sense)

[streak101]

Banda: I don't think I should use a boomerang anymore.

[Breaker]

Dirks: Nothing like some morning calisthenics.

Kai: Fuck, this TAIL! It's so ANNOYING!

Tarry: Awwww... that's the most gorgeous shade of blue!

[grim137]

Luc: You know I'm really not that powerfull.

Seth Dahlios: My tortured soul! Oh the pain and misery! I cut my self because it takes away the pain!

Raeylse: Ah, I shouldn't have done that I'm sorry. Here let me pay you for your troubles.

[Artifex Felicis]

Valintina Snow: Have sex with my sister? Eww, that's disterbing in more than twelve ways

Grim: And that, kids, is why you should never mess around with two large drunken orcs holding flamning brands and splintery clubs.

Lucien: Tent Peg of Homosexuality +5 GO!

Josh Cronen: Glowy, glowy, glowy, glowy, glowy, glowy, glowy...

Seth: Krugg, no, put DOWN the girl. She's -not- food!

[Breaker]

Leon: You know what look is really in this year? Skinhead.

Luc: I feel so insecure... maybe I'll buy myself a can of mace for christmas.

[LordLeopold]

Sighter: Something funny.

[Vampiric Angel]

Grim: Praise the Lord! I can see again!!

[grim137]

Lord Leopold: Whew doggy! That was one rutten tooten hell of a pig wrastling match. Ah tell yuh what.

Letho: *slap* Bitch, I said make me some fucking coffee!
Mythria: Yes sir, just please don't hit me again.

Talil: I'm going to rip your fucking arm off and beat you to death with it you stupid son of a bitch, right after I jam one foot up your sorry ass and the other through your ugly face.

[Cyrus the virus]

Leopold: I should make insulting Madison funny.

[LordLeopold]

Cyrus: I don't gargle diarrhea

Ahhhhh an oldie but a goodie.

[Vampiric Angel]

Leopold: Look at me, the Lord of Laughter, the Commodore of Satire, the Duke of All Things Funny, the...

[Dissinger]

Ehh the Leopold Jokes get old fast....

Santhalas: *roleplays*

Findlefin: Lets cut down the forest to make room for the new city, they're just trees....

Ashiakin: Too cold....

Max Dirks: You know what, the anti gun lobbyists were right, Perhaps I should sell these and get something better...

Logan: I can read your mind, and I think I just got lost....

Seth: Ehh this life sucks, time to off myself *stabs himself*

[Ithermoss]

Sir Leopold Lord Stevens, Esq.: EARL GREY AND CRUMPETS, you say?! I wanted whiskey and dancing girls! Let's get sloshed!

[Artifex Felicis]

Doctor: Rainee, I'm sorry girl, but everything you loved has died
Rainee/Electricty using people: What? How?
Doctor: Ever wonder why you can produce electricty, you're radioactive, hell, nearly evertyhing you touch withers and dies a slow painful and horrible death.

[AsukaStrikes]

Ouch.

Raven: Nyao~? Nyao nya nyaoyo nyo? [Translation: Huh~? How come I can understand cats?]

Yamihara: C'mon, boys! Grab every single girl on that ship and bring it to my room! Wahahahah!!!

Murakama: Owie~! I hurt my pinky on that sharp metal thingy!

Mikami: Uhh... what's a "crank"?

Seth: Ahh, the ocean breeze, the sunny sky, the pitter patter of the rain... Oh, how I love thee for all eternity!

Sivienna: Eww~! I drink tomato juice, thank you!

Random NPC guy: In cave is treasure box there. Beware l337 dragon master of d00m and purple-haire magey boy.
Project 13: Uhh... What's "l337"?
Random NPC guy: In cave is treasure box there. Beware l337 dragon master of d00m and purple-haire magey boy.
Project 13: ...You just said... Oh.

Raven: ...I'm out of ideas...

[LordLeopold]

Dissinger: Something nice about Leopold... said in an amusing way.

It's the comic timing that really makes that joke great.

[Dissinger]

Chumley: Lincoln was a hack, I'm surprised he even made president.

Meerplex: *sings Limp Bizkit*

LordLeopold: I do think I am hungry, oh wait, all I have is my dear chicken....

*Five Minutes Later*

I was not going to do it, but just looking at Petunia, she looked so tasty...at least she will always be a part of me....

[Damion Shargath]

Ithermoss (Rakh): Well ladies and gentlemen, let us meet to a wonderfully set up brunch with the best of food. I have also ordered the best of silverwear, it is so sparkly wonderful I can't wait to gently peg my menu with it. The fear of nastily soiling it is so large it tingles my spine. Hoh! So exhilarating!

Raelyse: I'm actually gay. (wait...I actually see that one coming =/)

Chelsi/Maxwell Faust: *more than 3 posts in a quest*

[Ebivoulya]

Ebivoulya: 'You know, you're right Locke. I think having a smaller, thinner sword would be an advantage. I don't need to cut people in half with miniature bridges when I can just poke them really, really fast and maybe make them bleed a little.'

[Vorin]

Adam (Ashiakin): *Creative Away AIM Message*

[Nightsangel]

Vorin: Ooo I think I want to be with that girl! She looks hot!

[Falcon Darkflight]

Canen: I decided melodrama wasn't for me...I'm going to live a quiet life in the country, and fight lots of meaningless adversaries. Oh, and i'm going to give Gideon to medical research as well. Fuckin whiote haired ponce that he is...

[Kai]

Kai: you know what, you can have my cookie, and my muffin if ya want, i don't mind

Canen: Just because I deny I am an emo does not mean I am in denial

Banda: I refuse to be the comic relief!!!

Realyse: God damn it, i am just not in the mood ...

All althanian Vampires: Blood is so way last century, were now on Milk!

[Kandosa]

Ketsumeh: "Like I always say, if you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself!"

[Breaker]

Nekoprince: Meow mix meow mix please deliver... ...?

[Falcon Darkflight]

Kai: I am not gay.

[Kai]

((har de har har two can play at that falcy))

Canen: I am not a vergin!!!

[Breaker]

Joshua Cronen: Well dude, he may be gay, but at least he's getting some.

[Kai]

Kai: Kaiserin ... Canen is your mommy

((Ok now i am freaking desturbed myself lol))

[AsukaStrikes]

Murakama: Kazeryu~! I luv you~!!!

Sidenote: Oy. That was amazingly disturbing...

Sivi: I'll have a Bloody Mary, please. The drink, of course, not some bleeding old lady. Eww.

[Ürei]

I know Ithy will eventually say this...but I might as well beat it to him.

Ürei: *sighs* I just paid Ithy his $50.

[Yamihara]

I think you owe him another 50 bucks. Hahaha.

Urei: Why am I wearing a blindfold?

Yamihara: Liek, whateva~!

[Jasmine]

Jasmine: *realizes that Raelyse is only playing with her and leaves*

[Vorin]

Cyrus: Did you just call my penis cute?

Leopold: Fuck, wrong about the direction world politics was taking. Oh well, back to my fantasies about Janet Reno.

Letho: My sister's not that hot...

Come on, keep it alive people. Here, one at me.

Me: Yes, I do shit rainbow colored hamsters.

[Breaker]

Vorin: ...

Alberdyne: mother fuckin son of a bastard!

[Winter]

Vivy, "Hello, I am a homosexual, overly emotional individual who is fearful of God, death, and self-inflicted pain. How is your day, Dear Sir?"

[Ürei]

Winter: I dont make fun of my friends because it is a mean thing to do!

...ass...

[Saxon]

Izvilvin: Thats it! I'm out, I quit, I'm done! I'm washing my hands of you all and going home! Alerar here I come!

Raven through an intercom: Alright my angels, Bosley will be manning the car... heres what I need you to do..

Reiko smacks another kitsune about with the hilt of her katana: Whats my name?! Huh?! Its not Foxy Love, thats for sure!

[Artifex Felicis]

Kit: *smacks with newpaper* Bad Girl! No! No! We do that OUTSIDE!
Inari: *whine*

[Nekoprincess]

Leon: No, no I'm not obessed with yarn! I like fire, fire is pretty and shiny and...*Touches fire* YEOUCH! IT BURNS! IT BURNS TO! I Think it'd be safer to go play with this nice safe white stick.........,

[grim137]

Serilliant: No, it's alright. I don't care if you spell my name "Sireelant".

[Reiko]

Vorin: Boobs! Yes those lovely breasts must be mine. Oh and that tail, come here my sexy cat girl.

Tarry: I'm also a Masseur!

[nekoprince]

Rainee: *crack* SAY MY NAME!
Rheinwan: No, please, don't hurt me!
Rainee: *crack* I SAID, SAY MY NAME BITCH!

Tarry: Thank god I wasn't in the Magus Cup after the first round. :D

Raven: well, the voices started when I was...

[grim137]

Leon: You know its a really good thing that Tarry guy dropped out of the Magus Cup in the second round. He would have destroyed me for sure.

[Ithermoss]

Terry: Vampires always have digestive problems. We drink blood all day. That's it. No corn, no roughage of any kind. I've not taken a deuce for a month!

[Serilliant]

Ithy: I try to shave my body daily. The smooth look is really in right now.

[nekoprince]

Sarrylent: Gloogly bug radiator Queen Coffee Headphones Detector Cards Tin speaker Plastic box wooden!

Serilliant: I don't care if you spell my name wrong.

[hamnat]

Me: Pain.........Suffering...............Destruction.. ........Death!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: Im a little tea cup!

Me: [german accent]ze squaar root af ze coonstant af ze speed af light isss equivelent to ze enargeee-deestance flucshooashon equaashon as ze veloseetee reaches towaards eenfeeniteee[/german accent]

Banda: Yay! I finally got rid of that stupid boomerang!!!!

[Vorin]

Cyrus: No, that's a great idea.
Cyrus: What DO you MEAN I have Tourette syndrome DOCTOR? *tic*
Luc: So many kittens dead because of me. Me and my filthy, filthy hands.

Duro: Surprisingly, Croatian whores are more expensive with mustaches.

[Reiko]

Luc: Wow I must say, I'm impressed. That's some fine magic.

Victor: hey lady, I'm not into chicks with tails, so take it off.

Storm: Ok I'll help you, just to help you.

[nekoprince]

Cory (That Vorin Guy)

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the Fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me
Galileo, Galileo,
Galileo Galileo
Galileo figaro-Magnifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go-, will you let me go
Bismillah! No-, we will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go-let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go-let me go
Will not let you go let me go
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me

[AsukaStrikes]

Leon: Ahh!!! Rats!!! I HATE RATS!!!

Lisean: What is it with my SKIN? I need to go sun-bathing... *sigh*

Jannin Relm: Fear my evil army of Rabid Pink Gophers!!! Wahahaha!!!
Murakama: ...Rabid gophers, I can understand. But why pink?
Jannin: ...Because they look cute...? *smiles sheepishly*
Murakama: *rolls eyes and kicks the boy in the backside*

[Sven]

Cyrus: Ok I'm allowing someone else to be a geomancer!




inside joke. :D

[Cyrus the virus]

Sven: My old username is ________!

[Sven]

ouch Cyrus.

Burn.

[Ithermoss]

I know Ithy will eventually say this...but I might as well beat it to him.

Ürei: *sighs* I just paid Ithy his $50.

:D

Indeed.

[Bearded Gnome]

Izvilvin: (In perfect Common) Oh, hello there my good man. Might I inquire as to why you're fighting my dragon?

[Vorin]

Ithermoss: Like I'd really name a dog Meatwaffle.

[AdventWings]

Vorin: Umm, pardon me, miss? Can you tell me where the nearest sun-tanning beach is?

[MaxBlade]

Fareron: Yes I do masturbate, no it does not bother me.

(I'm to new to talk about other's characters.) lol

[nekoprince]

Leon: I don't purr damnit!

Raven(Char version): Pull the whatzits to make the jet lift to the whozits?

Faeron: *in sing-song voice* I'm a genie in a bottle...

Vorin/Cory: Dude, put your pants back on, that's disgusting!

Rathmar: FINE! I really am just a human with a huge beard and bad liver!

Rakh: Piercings? Ewwww

Luc: PHEAR MY AWESOME MAGICAL PROW *gets hit by silence spell and four arrows*

[Lucien]

*I have no idea if I've done this joke yet.*

Findelfin: HALDIR!!!11

[hamnat]

Lucien: I apologize for my bastardry. Please feel free to castrate me.(oh, snap!)

nekoprince: I'm not really crazy. I just act crazy in real life. Oh, wait....Althanas isn't real....It's really just a big web-based place for hundreds of people who don't know a thing about each other to talk about stuff!

[Zook Murnig]

Ithermoss: You know what? Keep the tongue. I hate the things.

[hamnat]

Now that was cold.....brrrr.....did someone cast Chill?

Zook Murnig: The devil is my bishi!!! Down with the Qaballa!

[Zook Murnig]

Caduceus: So...how about those pork chops?

[Lucien]

Slayer: Fuck pussy. I'm done with it.

Luc Kraus: I can also make sex toys appear from thin air.

[AdventWings]

Dan Lagh'ratham: Dang, this sword is so heavy. Don't they have anything lighter, like... a dagger for the muscle guys anymore?

Rajani: Hey, guyz... Where'd ya stashed de rumz?

Mime: ... Argh, daggit! What's that word for Box? Oh, right...

Letho: Where's a redhead girl when you need one... *Sighs*

[Zook Murnig]

Letho: Oh, just hang 'em already!

[hamnat]

Raven: Woof!!!

Raven(again): I need a new mind....being constantly glomped by 4 very cute girls is torture.

[Karuka]

Hamnat: You know, Karuka...Letho isn't stalking either of us, so you can stop being my anti-Letho shield now.

[Zook Murnig]

Karuka: Cheerio, chaps!

[Karuka]

Cade: Ain Soph? Pff. I'm an atheist.

[hamnat]

@zook: nice one ;)

Karuka: Runes are nothing compared to a good scotch!

Me: No doubt about that!

Karuka: That was meant to be the thing I'd never say.

Me: But...an Irish person who'd rather have runes than a scotch....is it possible?

[Karuka]

Shenjara: Fire spells are just too cliche for me. Ditto dreamweaving.

[Atzar]

Karuka: "Hello. My name is Karuka. What's your name?"

Lucien: "She's hot!"

[AdventWings]

*Laughs his heart out*

Atzar: ...Blast magic! *Grabs the Rotslayer from the Silver Pub's walls* Alright, you fools! Who wants to get cleaved in half first?!

Godhand: You know... Why don't we sort this out in a gentleman's manner, sir? No need to be swinging sticks and steel all over the place, now. How about we talk this over a nice cup of chamomile tea and some crackers? I would certainly think that appropriate.

[Karuka]

Advent: I'd rather be Witchy's slave than hamnat's plush toy!

[AdventWings]

Hey, that's not a half-bad idea. Then again, I'd rather be Khally's slave and Kuya. :p

Ciel: I am so dumping Sir Marlois! I can't keep up with him~!

Khalxaen: COOKIES COOKIES COOOOOOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS !!!

[hamnat]

Waaa!!! I don't want to lose my plushy!!!*hugs plushy-Raven extra-tight* I love my plushy!

[AsukaStrikes]

Just to make fun of Raven... ;)

Raven: I don't wanna be a plushy~! I wanna be Hamnatty's slave, Nya~!
Me: ...And that would also make her my master... Oy. I need me a glass o' water, please.

Mikami: Power... POWER! MORE POWER!!! GIVE ME MORE POWER!!! *Gets electrocuted*

Rakh: I need a shower. And a towel.

Malagen: Oh, wow, whoa. Sorry about that vase, miss. So sorry. I'll buy you a new one. Like, very soon.

Mime: I need somebody love~!

[hamnat]

The Mime: <insert words here>(hehehe)

[Karuka]

Hamnat: "hail the Cult of the Sun!"

[hamnat]

Now that is something I would never say. The moon is so much more beautiful. My name is Shenjara Flamespire. Vengence must be mine. Prepare to be avenged upon.

Karuka: Here, Shen. You can have my runes.(I have been avenged!)

[Karuka]

Letho: Gentlemen prefer blondes.

[hamnat]

Letho(mwahahahaha! Revenge!): Redheads are boring. Brunettes are better.

The evil!!!^(-_-)^

[Corvus MacCallum]

Karuka : *Silence*

Dan : Pacifism is the key to this problem

Seraphima : The skies so blue

[hamnat]

Corvus: Ah...good ol' Ireland!

[Atzar]

Jon (Bohemia): "Fuck alcohol! Give me apple juice."

Caduceus (Zook Murnig): "Fuck the Gods!"

[hamnat]

Atzar Kellon: What does the "f-word" mean?

[Karuka]

Max Dirks: "I'm a little teapot."

I dunno...I thought it was funny.

[Iain]

Ithermoss: "Jesus"

[hamnat]

Iain: Ok...now that the advertisement is over, could you please get off my back? Sea cows are heavy...

[The Bard]

Hamnat: psstt wanna BJ

Cyrus: GET AWAY FROM ME FIRE CROTCH!!!!!

I dont know Im kinda tried gotta get into things

[hamnat]

Bard: *clears throat* aaahhh!!*tuning a middle-C* *clears throat...again* Singing...is for dummies! :P

Edit: translation, please!

[Of Free Will]

Ithy: I think I'll pass on a scary avatar this time. Maybe something with butterflies?

hamnat: *is calm*

Unseen: Now you see me! Now you don't! Get it? I'm Unseen! BA-Ha-ha-ha-ha!!

[Zook Murnig]

Lucien: I think I'll stop cutting myself now. And maybe I ought to try that sex change sometime...

[Of Free Will]

Zook Murnig: Yes, actually, it is a biblical name.

[Zook Murnig]

OFW: If she doesn't stop listening to Black Parade, I'm going to STAB her in the THROAT.

[Karuka]

Elijah the Angel: You know what, screw those Jews, I really DO want to freaking be a Nazi!

[Of Free Will]

lol nice ones.

Karuka Tida: Runes are stoopid!

Zook: My name is ZOOK, it rhymes with TOOK, pirates have HOOKS, I likes to LOOK..

Osato: here's a little song I wrote. You might want to sing it note for note, don't worry. Be happy.

[Zook Murnig]

Me: No, no. I LIKE it when people mispell Murnig as Murning.

[Karuka]

Cadeceus: I really need a haircut.

For those who don't know that song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugqpWOfgHKY

[Jasmine]

Beauty: *gets a personality and learns to talk proper grammar*

Poison: this assassin job is too much bother, i need a new job. I know! Taking care of squalling babies! It'll be great!

FoxyLady: I love working for a loanshark! Being exploited is great!

[Zerith]

Meh...why not.

Lisean: What are you talking about? I don't act like an emo.

Ekirei: I'm sane.

Jasmine: I think I'm going to go cut my hair.

[AdventWings]

;)

Zerith: I think it's time I cut my hair.

Ira Shinkara: *Whispers* I see dead people...

Tarry Whealer: *Whispers* I see live people...

Letho Ravenheart: *Whispers* I see redhead people... all around me...

Chidori Draconid: Oh, sweet, sweet death! How I long for thee, so~! *Stabs
himself, but finds that he didn't die* Oh, cruel fate!

Rajani Aishwara: *Groggy* Urk... I knew I shouldnt've have drunk three kegs o' rum before setting sail... *Hurls*

[Slayer of the Rot]

Raven Adventwings
"I am paying you for this, now fucking shave me!"

[Karuka]

Dan Lagh'ratham: Love and peace! Love and peace! Pretty flowers and fluffy bunnies! V^_~

[Aryr de Morte]

Karuka: I love boats and huge waves.

[hamnat]

Slayer o.t.r.: *with perfect grammar*Magic is one of the most impressive forces that one can imagine. If only I were so fortunate as to have been born attuned to such a force, instead of being the blood-crazed maniac I am today. *swoons*

Raven: Ok, girlies...time for you to go. You are all driving me nuts, and it's no longer fun.

Yamihara: Yes! Look at this hot body! :P

[Lucien]

Althanas: We're cliche!

Althanas: We're not mentioning some random aspect of a quest we're in that we'll probably forget about in a week in this OOC thread!

[hamnat]

Lucien: O_o...Yamihara, you're so pretty! Have my babies, please! (hope I didn't go too far...)

[Artifex Felicis]

Lucien: Mmmmm, Breasts

Karuka: Now what in the Sam hell do you think your doing. Use a goddamn rune stone as a PLACEHOLDER before putting your drink down on the damn table.

Yamihara: Mmmmm, breasts

Hamnat: I wub rooooo! *latches onto Dan's leg*

Asuka: Mmmmm, Breasts

Leon: Pass the wine, I'm about done with the puzzle and I think I deserve a small treat Alfred. Also, please open the Kibbles if you would be so kind.

Rheawin: Mmmmm, Penis

Ki: I feel sexy I feel Sexy I feel Sexy!

[Aryr de Morte]

A'rei Ngoyu: I love being a slave!

Kylexan Alure: I hate necromancer-type bitches.

Aryr de Morte: Screw honor, money is way better!

(All my characters. :))

[Ryari Ksartharjaa]

Ryari: Screw Akashima and the Ixian Knights! I'm going to be a hooker in Knife's Edge!

[Breaker]

Next vignette contest should be about writing the occurrence of these events.

[Lord Anglekos]

Next vignette contest should be about writing the occurrence of these events.
That's not a half-bad idea.

[Ryari Ksartharjaa]

Ryari ain't sleeping with no sex-starved Salvaran! (but that would be rather hilarious)

[Yari Rafanas]

"Your GP or your HP!"

[Macabre]

Lord Anglekos says: "Well by golly, that durn Macabre, he's just a rightly hero of mine!"

[Letho]

"Your GP or your HP!"8-bit theater? Swordchucks for the win, yo!

[Duffy]

How about we just write for fun and donate the XP to lesser mortals?

[Ithermoss]

"porkchop sandwiches?!!? Oh shit! Get the fuck out of here!"

[Yari Rafanas]

Ithermosssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[The International]

Letho: Can one of you big strapping fellows help me open this jar of peanut butter?

Lillian Sesthal: ... I forgot.

[Jack Frost]

Jack Frost: Why the hell is it so cold in here!

Good Ole Silent Sei: Fuck justice I'm gonna go team up with Lorenor

Letho: I'm tired of Red heads...

Slayer: I think I'll be less violent and become a scholar of the arts instead

Saxon: I'm gonna stop trolling

Any Judge: I'm gonna give Jack a good score for once

[Relian Tydonus]

Melchior - "Oh if only I could be as cool as Relian and Macabre"

[Lord Anglekos]

Yari Rafanas - "Oh, I'm so sorry about taking your sword my dear good sir, here, have it back along with the 500 gold pieces I acquired earlier. Good day."
You dick.

[Yari Rafanas]

Yari Rafanas - "Oh, I'm so sorry about taking your sword my dear good sir, here, have it back along with the 500 gold pieces I acquired earlier. Good day."
You dick.

:]

[Ithermoss]

Ithermosssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How's it goin, boyo! :)

[The International]

Raelyse: I'm good looking, but I don't know it.