The Evil Hedgehog of Doom
03-04-15, 08:09 PM
Name: Igel von Übel
Age: 2 years
Race: Hedgehog
Height: 5.1 inches
Weight: 1.2 pounds
Occupation: Evil Supergenius
Personality:
Igel’s soul is as rotten as a mushy black tomato. He is as evil as evil gets. He is mean. He is cruel. He is sadistic and senselessly nasty. He despises bluebirds, music, strawberries and the sight of children getting presents for Wintersday. One time, upon seeing a rainbow, he openly wept because he hated it so much. On the other hand, he delights in the buzz of carrion flies and cackles at all human suffering—everything from the little joys of spoiled food and broken zippers to the grand pleasures of plague and famine. He desires only to cause the most pain in every single situation.
He is also a supergenius. Now, one may argue that any hedgehog who can learn to talk or rob a bank is a supergenius in a certain sense. However, Igel would be exceptionally brilliant even by the standards of elves or dragons. He is responsible for a hundred counts of arson, larceny, homicide and defenestration on every continent of Althanas, and few are any the wiser. Is Igel’s lonely intelligence the source of his evil? Certainly, he is misanthropic and disdainful of all creatures he views as “lesser”—namely, everyone who is not Igel von Übel. Alas, but the answer is no, there is both more and less to this monster’s evil than a misunderstood genius. Igel just hates. He hates and hates and hates and hates.
Appearance:
In most respects, Igel appears the same as any hedgehog. He looks like a pincushion with legs. He sniffs the air with a cute little piggie snout. Beady black eyes peep out from beneath a tiny lil’ face. He is varying shades of brown all over and very small.
Most hedgehogs, however, do not wear a monocle or a tophat. Igel does. He also has a greasy upturned mustache. No one, including Igel himself, can really be said to know why. The monocle is made of gold and crystal and he seems very attached to it.
Skills:
Evil Scheming — Igel is an excellent strategist, on the same level as the wisest of Elven generals. He always wins at chess, even Weird Chess, where the pieces have eyes and the board screams for blood.
Evil Accounting — He is excellent with money. Whether this is due to thrift, pragmatism and a quality understanding of various legal codes, or the result of an above-average willingness to shark the numbers, only a dwarven banker could say. She would say, “Yes.”
Abilities:
Command — Five times per day, Igel can issue a command to another creature that they have no choice but to obey. NPCs of weaker willpower, such as animals and most humans, will hopelessly become his thrall until the order is complete. NPCs of equal willpower, like most of the magical races, will have a good chance of resisting. If Igel is knocked unconscious, all commands cease effect.
On top of these restrictions, the hedgehog cannot order anyone to do anything that is truly against their conscience. Indeed, in most cases he cannot get humans to kill one other. Boo! However, he can break down the walls of fear and social propriety that are all that prevent some people from committing evil deeds. For example, if he just-so-happened to know that, say, a certain town guard had slept with a shopkeeper’s wife… well, a few whispers in the right ears could go a long way in that situation. In other words, Igel does well with the emotionally vulnerable.
Other players, regardless of level, may simply choose whether his commands affect their characters or not, and to what extent.
Iron Spikes — Igel’s spines are as hard and sharp as, well, iron. They’re like vicious little knives all over his body.
Super Speed — Nope. Igel is not especially fast. Why would you think that? That’s a strange assumption to make.
Equipment/Weapons:
How could he use a weapon? He’s a hedgehog.
History:
From the time he was a small little hedgie, Igel knew he was different. More precocious. While other hedgies were learning how to spell their names, he dreamed of conquering galaxies! How stupid those other hedgehogs were! How lacking in ambition! He killed his parents and left home before he was a single month old.
After that, well, the rest is history. He went what is perhaps on the only crime spree in history to be committed by a hedgehog. He learned the languages of men and trained himself to control other creatures with his voice. He stole rubies, emeralds, sapphires and then threw them into the deepest pits, only in order to distress their owners. He cracked open peasant’s cellar doors and encouraged hordes of field mice to annihilate their crops. He burned precious works of art. He used his voice to turn brother against sister, husband against wife, knight against lord. He snuck into outhouses and ate every last shred of toilet paper.
Now, however, at the ripe age of two, he longs for something more. He doesn’t just want to cause strife. He wants to control. He wants to rule. After all, if he’s done this much damage as a nefarious shape in the shadows, how much more suffering could he cause from atop a throne?
And so, on his second birthday, Igel decided to conquer Althanas.
Age: 2 years
Race: Hedgehog
Height: 5.1 inches
Weight: 1.2 pounds
Occupation: Evil Supergenius
Personality:
Igel’s soul is as rotten as a mushy black tomato. He is as evil as evil gets. He is mean. He is cruel. He is sadistic and senselessly nasty. He despises bluebirds, music, strawberries and the sight of children getting presents for Wintersday. One time, upon seeing a rainbow, he openly wept because he hated it so much. On the other hand, he delights in the buzz of carrion flies and cackles at all human suffering—everything from the little joys of spoiled food and broken zippers to the grand pleasures of plague and famine. He desires only to cause the most pain in every single situation.
He is also a supergenius. Now, one may argue that any hedgehog who can learn to talk or rob a bank is a supergenius in a certain sense. However, Igel would be exceptionally brilliant even by the standards of elves or dragons. He is responsible for a hundred counts of arson, larceny, homicide and defenestration on every continent of Althanas, and few are any the wiser. Is Igel’s lonely intelligence the source of his evil? Certainly, he is misanthropic and disdainful of all creatures he views as “lesser”—namely, everyone who is not Igel von Übel. Alas, but the answer is no, there is both more and less to this monster’s evil than a misunderstood genius. Igel just hates. He hates and hates and hates and hates.
Appearance:
In most respects, Igel appears the same as any hedgehog. He looks like a pincushion with legs. He sniffs the air with a cute little piggie snout. Beady black eyes peep out from beneath a tiny lil’ face. He is varying shades of brown all over and very small.
Most hedgehogs, however, do not wear a monocle or a tophat. Igel does. He also has a greasy upturned mustache. No one, including Igel himself, can really be said to know why. The monocle is made of gold and crystal and he seems very attached to it.
Skills:
Evil Scheming — Igel is an excellent strategist, on the same level as the wisest of Elven generals. He always wins at chess, even Weird Chess, where the pieces have eyes and the board screams for blood.
Evil Accounting — He is excellent with money. Whether this is due to thrift, pragmatism and a quality understanding of various legal codes, or the result of an above-average willingness to shark the numbers, only a dwarven banker could say. She would say, “Yes.”
Abilities:
Command — Five times per day, Igel can issue a command to another creature that they have no choice but to obey. NPCs of weaker willpower, such as animals and most humans, will hopelessly become his thrall until the order is complete. NPCs of equal willpower, like most of the magical races, will have a good chance of resisting. If Igel is knocked unconscious, all commands cease effect.
On top of these restrictions, the hedgehog cannot order anyone to do anything that is truly against their conscience. Indeed, in most cases he cannot get humans to kill one other. Boo! However, he can break down the walls of fear and social propriety that are all that prevent some people from committing evil deeds. For example, if he just-so-happened to know that, say, a certain town guard had slept with a shopkeeper’s wife… well, a few whispers in the right ears could go a long way in that situation. In other words, Igel does well with the emotionally vulnerable.
Other players, regardless of level, may simply choose whether his commands affect their characters or not, and to what extent.
Iron Spikes — Igel’s spines are as hard and sharp as, well, iron. They’re like vicious little knives all over his body.
Super Speed — Nope. Igel is not especially fast. Why would you think that? That’s a strange assumption to make.
Equipment/Weapons:
How could he use a weapon? He’s a hedgehog.
History:
From the time he was a small little hedgie, Igel knew he was different. More precocious. While other hedgies were learning how to spell their names, he dreamed of conquering galaxies! How stupid those other hedgehogs were! How lacking in ambition! He killed his parents and left home before he was a single month old.
After that, well, the rest is history. He went what is perhaps on the only crime spree in history to be committed by a hedgehog. He learned the languages of men and trained himself to control other creatures with his voice. He stole rubies, emeralds, sapphires and then threw them into the deepest pits, only in order to distress their owners. He cracked open peasant’s cellar doors and encouraged hordes of field mice to annihilate their crops. He burned precious works of art. He used his voice to turn brother against sister, husband against wife, knight against lord. He snuck into outhouses and ate every last shred of toilet paper.
Now, however, at the ripe age of two, he longs for something more. He doesn’t just want to cause strife. He wants to control. He wants to rule. After all, if he’s done this much damage as a nefarious shape in the shadows, how much more suffering could he cause from atop a throne?
And so, on his second birthday, Igel decided to conquer Althanas.