Round 2 Guest Team

[Silence Sei]

MYSTERY TEAM! Round starts at Midnight tonight, CST, and lasts for two weeks. Good luck!

[Max Dirks]

“Oxidize these, please…” Max Dirks huffed to his former partner in crime and current comrade in arms, Logan McCloud. He vaulted a Ruilserk mid-stride, and then fired two bullets over his shoulder. As directed, Logan snapped his fingers – likely just for show – and the bullets exploded, sending the blood vine and the nearby foliage up in flames. “Nice!” Dirks said. “That should slow them up for a minute.”

“What the hell are you guys doing?” a woman screamed in response to the fire. “You’re supposed to be saving the forest, not destroying it!” The voice belonged to the drow, Drusilia Liadon, one of the last living “Dawnbreakers,” the ragtag group of heroes that defeated Xem’zund in the Corpse War.

“We’re here to purify Lindequalmë,” Logan retorted. “Not conserve it…”

Behind them, an army of Pode gave chase. Several packs of Dur'Taigen hunted them on the ground, while a flock of Red Gryffins circled from above. As they ran from Pode’s creatures, Ruilserk and Fealote continually tried to block their path. They all sought the drow, whom Pode believed would be the cause of her undoing. For the moment, Logan and Dirks were just the muscle: a “random” pairing of powerful former criminals who just happened to “find” Drusilia in the middle of the Red Forest.

Overhead, the Red Gryffins sent a barrage of fireballs into their vicinity. “Incoming,” Dirks warned, glancing into the air as he ran. In response, the group broke apart. Drusilia and Dirks headed left while Logan headed right. However, their evasive maneuvers were not enough. As the group disbursed, so did the fireballs. “Shit,” Dirks mumbled. Of course they were heat seeking.

Logan appeared unconcerned. While still running, he simply made a fist and the fireballs headed for him faded into obscurity. The drow seemed similarly unimpressed. She stopped in her tracks and turned to face the onslaught. In a single motion, Drusilia pulled out a small stone from her armor and held it into the air. A small blue hue emanated from the stone, but nothing happened. The fireballs continued to zero in on her position, causing her eyes to widen. At the last second, Dirks grabbed Drusilia and threw her to the underbrush. The trailing fireballs left a three foot crater in her wake.

“Not magic,” Dirks said, pointing to her stone. The criminal was very aware of null stones, having using one to rob the bazaar in the distant past. Red Gryffins were born of magic and magic likely directed the projectiles at the trio, but the fire itself was caused by igniting venom in their throats.

As Dirks helped Drusilia to her feet, Logan ran over to them and put his back against a tree. “This is getting a bit ridiculous,” the telepath said. “We need to do something.” The growls of the pursuing Dur'Taigen were growing louder, suggesting they found their way past Dirks’ Ruilserk firetrap.

Suddenly, something roared loudly in front of them, completing drowning out the noise from the wolves. Having made several previous treks into the Red Forest, the Dirks immediately recognized the call. “I have an idea. A terrible, stupid, generally idiotic idea,” Dirks said before starting to run directly toward the roar. “Follow me...”

[Logan]

Through the minds of Drusilia and Logan ran the myriad of possibilities of what rumbled just off in the distance in the direction Max ran, joined by the possibilities of the horde in hot pursuit. They looked at one another, then behind them at the horde and then back in Dirks' direction. One last look at one another preceded a unified shrug and they bolted simultaneously after the criminal.

Drusilia and Logan had a slight bond. Enough of one he found it easy enough to communicate with her without relying solely on his telepathy. There was a mutual understanding between them on most subjects, although the preservation of Lindequalmë was most certainly not one of them. For Logan, it didn't matter whether Lindequalmë was in tact or in ruins and rubble, so long as the trio made it safely to their destination.

Max Dirks had stopped at the base of one of the larger trees in the area, more or less to give his companions a few moments to catch up. "Logan, remember that time we --," but before he could complete his thought aloud the tree above them cracked violently, the top half sheering off as mammoth arms swung one way and then the other.

The trio dispersed without any further fanfare, Logan to his left and Max and Drusilia to their right.

"What was Max going on about," the curiosity was founded only in understanding when the veteran criminal had a plan it was generally in one's best interest to know said plan. At least, history would suggest that to be the case.

Drusilia looked at Max with wide eyes as the beast let out a blood curdling groan and she practically screamed at him, "a Maul? You have to be kidding me!" The drow wasn't wrong to be a bit shocked at the sheer magnitude of their dire straits. Yet Max just sat there with the most arrogant smirk she had ever seen.

"Would you have wanted anything else," he asked only half-joking. Few beasts in all of Althanas could face the horde chasing the trio, but a Maul was without a doubt one of them. At the least, it could provide the perfect distraction for the ragtag bunch to put some distance between themselves and the creatures. What she didn't understand, of course, was Max had his plan. It was a great plan, a brilliant plan, and a bloody stupid plan all at the same time. Considering their predicament, at least they had a plan. "Just trust me."

The Maul roared out as its head turned from side to side trying to discern which of the smaller creatures to go after first; the four arms flailing about but not really aimed for anything or anyone in particular. It only took a few moments of the temper tantrum to settle on the solitary form of Logan sprinting from one tree to the next. Drusilia looked at Max astonished the pair hadn't taken the opportunity to escape. He simply raised his finger to his lips and then his ear, encouraging her to listen closely.

The gryffins drew near, and Logan's distraction was what Dirks needed. "It's time these damned creatures learn what 'firepower' really is," he said as he pulled both berettas from their respective holsters.

Max sprinted toward the psion's position, pulling the hammer back on both guns simultaneously. He held the trigger for a moment, slowing his breath just ever so slightly as he fired the first shots. The first sliced through the wing of one of the gryffins, sending it spiraling uncontrollably into the ground with a loud thud. The form remained motionless. The second shot pierced the unsuspecting eye socket of another gryffin, violently forcing it backward as its wings flapped furiously trying to keep upright. The shock alone was enough to send the gryffin off its course ultimately crashing into a tree and then the ground.

The guns hammered back again as he prepped his next two shots, the first nicking a talon and the second only successfully drawing the attention of the remaining gryffins. In truth, it was exactly what Max had intended. He holstered the guns as fireballs detonated the ground behind him, sending small streaks of fire across more of the underbrush. The Maul remained dubious to his presence, and the conceited but certified badass leaped onto the back of the Maul, being careful to avoid the spikes and somehow using them as hand-holds.

The Maul immediately turned with such violent force Dirks was able to release his grip on the spikes and soar through the air landing right next to Logan. "You want to use that big ol' brain of yours and show that thing why those damned creatures are the enemy," Max said to the psion with the same smirk as he pointed first to the Maul and then to the gryffins.

The exhausted psion suppressed a laugh as he focused on the Maul, projecting thoughts of the gryffins attacking the area with massive fireballs. The entire forest seemed to go up in flames around the Maul, even if in reality it was still in tact. The larger creature let out another blood curdling roar, but this one was more of the kind you would hear when a creature resorts to its final stand.

The gryffins took notice and sent fireball after fireball at the Maul, which did its best to deflect. At least the distraction was working. Drusilia clearly got the message, too, as she bolted toward the pair.

[Max Dirks]

As the terrified maul swatted at the red gryffins, the Dur'Taigen finally joined the fray. Though the drow was fast, the tainted wolves quickly caught up with Drusilia before she could reach Logan and Dirks beyond the great beast. Still, her response was brilliant. Dirks watched in awe as the dark elf took to the air and jumped from bush to bush as though she was weightless. Each time her feet hit the ground, she would turn her body and fire an arrow back at the Dur'Taigen giving chase. Four such jumps led to four straight kills. The hides on the beast were thick and likely could easily withstand a bullet from Dirks’ Beretta, but Drusilia’s arrows landed true. Two wolves were hit square in the eye, while the other two were struck in the jugulars. However, each time Drusilia dropped a Dur’Taigen, two more would take its place. Before long, too much lateral movement allowed the wolves to completely surround her. They growled and snarled as they moved in for the kill.

“Fuck,” Dirks cursed while trying to put together a rescue in his mind. With the maul haplessly attacking anything that moved and the red gryffins raining down fire and brimstone from above, Dirks’ doubted he could physically reach the drow in time to rescue her from the wolves. His guns likely wouldn't be much help either. Even multiple shots into their thick hind legs would likely not bring them down. In fact, it would probably just make them angrier. After a moment of pondering, he finally got an idea. It was another terrible, stupid, and generally idiotic idea, but at least it was something. “Logan,” Dirks called out to the telepath. “When you hear the gunshots, push!” He said, motioning to the lumbering maul.

It took Logan a moment to process Dirks plan, but once he figured it out he raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure you can escape? You’re not…that agile anymore,” the telepath said, attempting to soften the blow. It was no secret that Dirks' ale addiction during his recent depression had caused more than just damage to his liver.

“Look,” Dirks replied. He pointed at Drusilia. “She’s the mission. We knew when we signed up for this cheesing quest that our chances of survival were slim.” Then, Dirks became uncharacteristically solemn. “I’m not afraid to die to do something right.”

Logan’s eyebrow dropped, and he nodded in response. “Alright.”

In a last ditch effort to soften the mood, Dirks slapped the telepath on the shoulder and laughed. “Who would have thought that renowned criminals Logan McCloud and Max Dirks would be heroes?”

With that, Dirks set off. The first obstacle he faced as he approached the maul was errant fireballs. The red gryffins, growing more desperate as the beast picked off their flock, had increased the intensity of their onslaught. Wayward blasts forced the criminal to dodge left, then right, then right again as he maneuvered around the gryffins’ fire rain. Above him, one of the maul’s massive paws pounded a gryffin, sending it flying at Dirks’ feet. He only managed to avoid being smashed by jumping out of the way at the last minute. It took a bit more dodging, but he finally reached the great beast. He zigzagged between the maul’s feet, which were pounding the ground each time the animal swatted at an attacking gryffin and eventually settled directly below its chin.

With a quick glance at Drusilia, Dirks barked his final order. “Count to five, then run!” Then Dirks unloaded 16 bullets into the maul's jaw. When his guns clicked, he immediately hit the releases and freed the magazines from the chamber. Dirks struggled a bit, but he was eventually was able to turn the magazines around and reload the guns. Once reloaded, he fired another 16 bullets into the beast.

After about the 25th bullet struck true, the beast made a final gurgled roar and then went silent. It was clear the bullets had finally penetrated the maul’s skull and the beast was choking on its own blood. On cue, Dirks heard what he could only describe as a sonic boom as Logan manipulated the air behind the maul. With little fanfare, the beast grasped its throat and fell to the ground. Instinctually, Dirks looked around for an opportunity to escape, but nothing presented itself. With a smirk on his face, he looked up to face his mortality.

However, it never came. Unbeknownst to Dirks, in the confusion following his barrage of bullets, Drusilia had leapt forward over a the circling Dur'Taigen and had come to Dirks aide. Using her momentum to her advantage, the drow crashed into the former criminal, sending the two sprawling to the left of the falling beast. When they hit the ground, Drusilia forced them into a series of rolls. Then, when they were clear of the beast, the drow ended the roll with her knees firmly planted into Dirks' chest.

“Oof,” Dirks grunted. “I guess you didn’t even need my help, did you?” Before she could respond, there was a loud collective yelp. Most of the Dur’Taigen were crushed beneath the fallen maul. Those that survived quickly ran off in different directions, clearly confused at what had just transpired. Similarly, the remaining gryffins above flew off as their tormentor perished, leaving Dirks, Logan and Drusilia as the clearing’s only living inhabitants.

Logan quickly ran over to the pair and helped Drusilia to her feet. “Let’s get out of here,” he said, while Dirks got up under his own power. Everyone agreed. Without saying another word, the group ran for at least a mile until there were no more signs of Pode, her army, or any wayward creatures in their vicinity.

“Well, that was entertaining.” Dirks broke the silence before leaning over to grab the notch in his side. “You,” he eventually coughed at Logan, “were fantastic as always. And you…” he turned to Drusilia, but instead of being greeted by an exhausted drow, he was met with a nocked arrow aimed directly at his eye. “Woah, easy there!” Dirks responded, suddenly jumping to attention.

“Oh just SHUT UP!” Drusilia commanded. “I’ve been to the camps. I’ve heard stories of powerful warriors who nearly lost their lives to a single Dur’Taigen, fealote, or ruilserk. But you two…” she stammered with anger steaming off her words like water on a boil plate. “You two obese humans simply hop over fealote, blow up ruilserk and drop red gryffins like they’re nothing. And the maul. THE MAUL! You two just took down the most powerful natural beasts in Lindequalmë with two guns and a mind fuck. You’re going to explain exactly what you’re doing here right now, or smirks here is going to end up with an arrow in his eye.”

[Logan]

Max gave Drusilia a long, hard stare practically begging her to give it her best shot, but ultimately he thought better of it. "If you release that arrow you get rid of one of the two men currently offering you assistance in purifying the Red Forest. And if you must know, drow, that is precisely why the both of us are here," he stated half-egging her on and half-encouraging her to hold her ground. The drow pulled the string that much tighter, readying to release just as Logan stepped forward.

"Your confusion, Drusilia, is not unfounded," the psion raised his hand and pushed the bow down to aim toward the ground instead of Dirks' forehead as he continued, "in your position I would probably respond just about the same way. Max and I are nothing more than lowly men with little ability, and yet we're here practically unscatched. It really doesn't add up in the grand scheme of things."

The hunter eyed Logan curiously for only a moment before she responded, "the grand scheme of things, Logan, is you and this sad sack of flesh somehow did the impossible with nothing more than the clothes on your back, the simplest of weapons in your possession, and the most arrogant, asinine and downright selfish plans, and yet here you both stand."

The smirk returned to Dirks' face, and the drow reacted purely on instinct as she pointed the bow once more between his eyes.

"But, my dear, he also offers only the simplest of facts as well. Should you do away with him, you would be left on your own. While I am quite certain you are more than capable of defeating Pode's army -- and most likely Pode herself -- on your own, I am also just as certain you are intelligent enough to not bite the hand that feeds you," the psion quipped. Drusilia seemed to consider the point for a moment.

Dirks grumbled under his breath to Logan, "just because some are more privvy to information than others does not make their intentions any less true."

The drow's eyebrows raised slightly as she turned the weapon upon Logan. The psion only offered his retort to his criminal companion, "Nor does it make the other's any more true either, Max."

Drusilia was practically frothing at the mouth in anger and disgust. Their mind games had the drow on the edge of rage, and neither could truly afford to lose out on this opportunity. The deep glare Max gave Logan could have torn the forest asunder all on its own, but he still managed to grumble aloud to the psion, "Ugh, fine."

Max took a deep breath moving toward Drusilia, who shifted her bow to his temple as he finally explained, "Did you really think the High Bard Council would entrust the future of the Red Forest -- a mass that makes up a third of their country -- to a ragtag group of adventurers? Come on, drow! Some of the people you interacted with in the camps weren't even teenagers! Pode's taint extends to every corner of this forest. What sort of strategy is there in marching aimlessly towards the center of the forest, when every plant, animal or person is a potential addition to the Red Witch's army? You must at least have found it odd Raiaera didn't even send in its own military."

Drusilia considered it for a fair moment before lowering her bow. "There really is something more at play here, but what," she thought out loud before continuin, "but that still doesn't really explain why you two are here."

"Are you sodding stupid, drow, or must I spell it out for you," Dirks practically screamed at Drusilia. "There are three types of players in this game. The bait; those marching aimlessly toward what is most likely their doom at the hands of Pode; the escorts, like Logan and I here; and the heroes, like you."

"Heroes...like me? I'm most certainly not a hero in this 'game'! I'm nothing like those other...sacks of flesh," she replied with a hint of confusion and frustration mixed together.

Logan chuckled, "yes. Heroes like you, Drusilia. You are all warriors of great renown with special abilities, experience and/or items with the potential to defeat Pode, and you most certainly are one of them." The hunter ran her fingers over the null stone in her pocket. "Finally you are connecting the dots, Drusilia! You were selected by the High Bard Council because you are a Dawnbreaker. You are the only one alive to face a Forgotten One and live to tell the tale. And yes, you also have your null stone, which will be invaluable in breaking the Red Witch's grasp on the forest."

The drow shifted uncomfortably as the weight of the entire matter bounced around within her mind. Logan continued, "Dirks and I were assigned to be your escorts through the forest, using our -- how did you put it again -- 'obesity' to your advantage. We followed you out of the first camp, watched in silence as the treant felled your party, and stood ready when you encountered Pode. Then, and only after the witch set her army upon you, did we intervene."

"And just how many of us -- the heroes I mean -- are there," she queried quietly, her thumb coursing back and forth across the surface of the stone.

Max replied matter-of-factly, "four, but --"

Before the criminal could finish his thought the psion raised his hand in the air and then balled it into a fist. A finger rose to his lips imploring his companions for silence. Something had caught his attention.

The streams of light pouring in around the tops of the trees dimmed noticeably and a thick red fog crawled silently into the clearing. The psion's eyes followed the fog, and moments later as it softly landed upon the ground, tendrils seemingly alive stretched out toward him. The faint scent of something not quite dead yet not quite alive enveloped the clearing, and Logan's eyes grew wide.

"We need to go," he began as he pointed toward the direction of the center of the forest. With one hand the psion pushed Max in the direction he pointed, and with the other he gripped Drusilia's arm pulling her along. "NOW", he commanded.

Drusilia ripped her arm from the psion's grip. "There is nothing to this...mist," she said as she waved her hand around in it to prove her point. Max also stopped in his tracks, and he turned to face Logan. The psion, not expecting the abrupt stop, ran into Dirks, sending the both of them flailing to the ground.

"What has you so wound up, Logan," Dirks asked. The lack of response caught Dirks by surprise and he poked the suddenly motionless man's body. "Uh...Logan," he poked the psion again fully expecting some sort of reply, but instead all that came was a small purple bolt of static electricity between them.

The hunter watched Max poke and prod the body, but the electricity was definitely not something she was expecting to see. The hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention as the entire clearing began to crackle with magical energy. More of the tiny purple bolts of static electricity danced about Logan's body. "What the fuck is going on, Dirks," she practically shouted at him.

Max shook his head in response and he backed away from the body. The motionless body began to stir. Slowly, Logan rose to a kneel and then a standing position before turning to them both. Dirks was the first to notice, and it didn't take him long to do so.

A deep, maniacal laugh broke the silence. The psion was Logan no more.

[Max Dirks]

“Red mist…” Dirks whispered to Drusilia. The former criminal motioned down to the crimson smoke burrowing at their feet. A masterful charm of Pode's, the Red Mist caused sentients to fall asleep and experience their greatest fears. While unconscious, their bodies could be freely duplicated and used as weapon in her army. “It allows the Red Witch to subdue people and use their doppelgangers to do her bidding,” Dirks said, simplifying the process.

“Then why hasn’t it affected us?” the drow asked.

“Because there’s nothing left for her to take…” Dirks responded. He, of course, was referencing the conclusion of the Starlynn Sonar saga. Two years prior, Pode manipulated the former criminal into becoming a vessel for her will under the pretense of saving his long lost love from a deep slumber. Dirks was sent to Lornius in an attempt to spread the Red Witch’s influence beyond Lindequalmë, but only through the will of his best friend, Sei Orlouge, was Dirks finally able to break free of the illusion. Since then, Pode and her nonsense held no sway over him. Though Dirks was unaware that Drusilia’s relationship with the Dawnbringer Godhand Striker was the reason for her immunity, he suspected the drow had bested the Red Witch in a similar fashion.

While Dirks explained red mist to Drusilia, the maniacal Logan suddenly burst in two. One psion fell limp to the ground, while the other rose into the air and turned a bright red hue. Lightning crackled from the fingertips of the faux telepath as he was forced back into his most primitive form. Prior to developing telekinetic powers, Logan McCloud was simply a gifted student imbued with the power of electricity.

Instinctively, Drusilia settled into an attack position. Despite their odd connection, the drow was ready to attack Logan without question. However, Dirks was hesitant. Having reformed together, the former criminal was unwilling to attack his friend so blatantly. Red mist was like a curse. The hijacked body would act relentlessly until overcome by the spirit of the person. “Just wait.” Dirks called out to Drusilia.

Just as the words left his lips, Dirks was slammed backwards by 10,000 volts directed at his sternum. He landed hard against a tree, causing at least two ribs to break. Severely winded, Dirks was powerless as faux Logan descended upon the drow. Drusilia reacted instantly. She quickly nocked two arrows and sent them flying at the doppelganger’s chest before he could muster another electric blow. However, much to her dismay, with a quick flick of his wrist, blue Logan created a magnetic field that forced the metallic arrowheads to fly away from his body.

The next few moments were a rhythmic dance between the two combatants. When Logan attacked, Drusilia countered. When Drusilia attacked, Logan parried. During their encounter, electricity struck almost every nearby tree and arrows were planted in almost every stump. But for the perilousness of the situation, the show would have been quite beautiful.

During the fray, Dirks regained his composure and slowly climbed to his feet. The battle was brutal. Despite his earlier hesitation, he was reminded of his words from earlier. Drusilia was the mission, and Dirks would have to do anything…anything to keep her alive. With a sharp pain in his chest, the former criminal hoppled over to the fallen telepath’s body. “I’m sorry old friend,” he said, before putting his knee firmly against the real Logan’s back. He slowly withdrew his patented Beretta 950 and pointed it at the back of the psion’s head.

Meanwhile Drusilia, growing tired of the psion’s elemental antics, pulled out her null stone and once again held it into the air. “No!” Dirks cried, but nothing escaped his lips. His broken ribs caused his breath to catch. If the drow utilized the null stone now, there was no way it could recharge in time to be used against Pode, particularly given its misuse with the gryffins before.

Below him, Logan convulsed. Dirks knew the psion was fighting his own battle, but he didn’t know if it would be won in time. The former criminal tightened his finger around the trigger. If he saw blue before the psion regained conscious, he would be forced end his friend’s life. If real Logan died, so would his doppelganger. Dirks couldn't let Drusilia use the null stone now or else all hope of defeating Pode would be lost.

[Logan]

When all hope seemed lost, Logan's body shuddered one last time and then went still. Max had only one choice. He pulled the trigger.

***

"Lily...," the psion queried into the thick haze. There was no audible response, only the shadowy silhouette of a young woman fading into his view. "Where am I," he asked.

The shadowy form moved closer to him; wispy arms danced about his body, but still no response.

"We were in the forest," he began as he tried to retrace his steps, his memory nothing but haze.

The unknown shadow placed a delicate finger upon the psion's lips. Even then it did not speak.

Logan glanced about cautiously. He squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to remember the events before. "We were escorting...Drusilia," he asked.

The wisp wrapped her shadows about his body. A strange, unfamiliar weariness draped over him as the form enveloped his entire being save his face.

His eyes darted back and forth. He was unable to move his body, only his mouth and his eyes. There was no sense of smell, no sense of taste. There was nothing audible save his own voice.

"Max...no...," he whispered as everything disappeared around him.

**

The gun and null stone simultaneously ripped from their respective owner's hands toward one another. The form of Logan's doppleganger violently ripped apart. The final moment of its existence nothing more than shadowy wisps. Metal and earth clanked together, and then the two objects fell with a thud to the ground.

Max exchanged confused glances with Drusilia. The motionless body of Logan stirred with a loud inhalation. "Fucking hell, Logan," Dirks said as he took in a deep sigh of relief.

"You should have pulled the trigger sooner, Max," Logan said as he rolled onto his side and then into a seated position.

Dirks stood up, dusted himself off, and made his way to his gun. He holstered it as he replied, "if I had, you'd be dead."

Drusilia remained skeptical, "What in the holy fuck happened?"

The psion shrugged his shoulders. He really didn't have an answer. More or less, he somehow managed to free himself of Pode's bindings, but he wasn't really certain how. "I'm alive. The null stone is safe and remains charged, and Max, well, he's still Max," Logan said with a smirk attempting to hide his own concern for failing to remember how he escaped Pode's hold.

An arrow landed with a thud in a tree only a couple of inches from his nose. "How do we know you aren't some machination of Pode, or you aren't in her grip right now," the hunter snarled.

Dirks walked over to Drusilia, who had readied another arrow -- aimed at Logan's chest instead of the tree. "Dru, look at him. No electricity, and clearly he used his tele-shit to move your stone and my gun. It is Logan. I know it," he offered.

"If you dare cross me, psion, I will fucking end you," Drusilia stated as she lowered her bow and withdrew the arrow.

"If he crosses you, Dru, you won't have to," the gun-wielding criminal said as he glanced at Logan to make sure his message got across.

The psion clenched his fists tight and retorted, "If I cross either of you, neither of you will have to. I will end myself."

There was an uneasiness between the three as they checked themselves over for any wounds in need of attention. Logan was relatively unscathed as was Max, but Drusilia had a pretty vicious cut along her right thigh.

"You should probably tend to that, Dru," Max said as he nodded at the blood soaked fabric of her pants.

Drusilia just shrugged in response, "it isn't that deep, and I will live. That's more than I can say for Pode, though."

The psion nodded his agreement. Logan was prepared to do anything, especially after she took over him, to stop the witch. "So the next step, Max, is to kill the Kargoosh, correct," he asked.

"Let's see," Dirks replied as he rubbed the budding stubble on his chin. "Kill the Kargoosh and um, wash in the blood of the slain beast," he said less shocked than one might expect given the circumstances.

"Great. Because we haven't already been through enough of Pode's army to last a lifetime," Drusilia responded with a sense of exasperation.

The psion made his way over to the hunter and rested a hand on her shoulder. "Sorry for...that back there," he said softly.

She eyed him suspiciously then shrugged. "You should be apologizing to Max, not me. He had the gun to your head. But I'll accept it nonetheless," she replied.

"Alright, enough of the emotional bullshit. Let's go find this Kargoosh beast and kill it already," Dirks said in an attempt to deflect conversation elsewhere.

[Max Dirks]

In hindsight, Dirks regretted saying so much about the Kargoosh. Pode had agents all over the forest and if she knew his party was hunting her most prized beast, she might be able to ascertain the full extent of their secret plan. As self-punishment for his earlier outburst, Dirks stayed silent as he led Drusilia and Logan deeper into the Red Forest.

Some time passed. As they journeyed together, it became clear the drow was growing increasingly uncomfortable with the situation. Up until this point, she reluctantly followed her "escorts" because of a higher calling, but the lies and half-truths surely were eating at her soul. "What did you mean, 'wash in the blood of the slain beast?'" she finally asked, breaking the hour-long silence amongst the group.

"Well," Logan started.

"It's nothing," Dirks immediately interrupted. "I just minced my words while dealing with the pressure in my chest." Drusilia was unconvinced. She started to reply, but was cut off when the former criminal stopped and faced her. Dirks looked deeply into her eyes and lightly shook his head. Then, for the first time during their travels, the two understood each other.

"When you were unconscious, did you see Lily?" Dirks asked Logan, changing the subject. When her name escaped his lips, the telepath turned pale. Rather than reply, he simply nodded. It was clear to Dirks that his friend was deeply affected by Pode's illusion. The former criminal fell silent again.

More time passed. Eventually, Dirks stopped and pulled a small piece of parchment and a compass from his pocket. The paper contained the secret directive from the Raiaerian High Council on how to permanently expel Pode from Lindequalmë. The plan was eloquently simple on paper, but basically suicidal in practice. Elven mages discovered that although her influence extends through every living creature in the forest, her power is centralized into four groves hidden within the forest. The groves are dense, and nearly impossible to spot by a random traveler. They are protected by magical barriers and by armies of the Red Witch's minions, making entry nigh impossible.

Chief of those minions is the Kargoosh, a deadly sentry that acts as the eyes and ears for Pode at her stronghold. In order to approach the grove undetected, one would need to become the sentry. For the trio's purposes, this would entail to killing the beast and bathing in its blood. With Pode blinded to their approach and Drusilia's null stone to destroy the magical barrier, the grove could be destroyed. Simultaneous attacks on the other three groves by other heroes and escorts, would presumably end her tenure over the Red Forest.

Dirks flipped the parchment. On the back was a map. He crosschecked the group's location using his compass, and then returned the items to his pocket. "Prepare yourselves," Dirks said. "We're close." The former criminal withdrew both his "Patented" and "Twin" Berettas from their holsters and held them firmly in their hands.

"What's that?" Drusilia asked, pointing to a nearby scrub. She started walking to the bush with her head turned to the side. Logan tried to follow suit, but was stopped when Dirks held out his arms. The two watched from a distance as an ordinary white rabbit emerged from the thicket. "Is that a rabbit?" Drusilia asked. She leaned down and patted the animal on the head.

Every muscle in Dirks' body tensed, and for good reason. After it was touched, the rabbit growled and bared its teeth. In the next instance, the Drusilia was slammed backwards into a nearby tree, leaving a drow-sized indentation in its trunk. Almost as if mocking the fallen drow, the rabbit bent its head backwards and opened its mouth to a comically large width then started biting at the air.

"The Kargoosh…" Logan mumbled. However, the beast wasn't alone. After its show, the ground started to shake and the brush behind the rabbit started to rustle. Then seven treeants, the same creatures that felled Drusilia's first party, emerged from the trees and settled into a line behind the Kargoosh. If that wasn't enough, there was a gigantic flash and the small beast burst into three. The three rabbits turned a bright red and then began to morph. Dirks could only watch astounded as he quickly found himself facing three undefeatable foes: on the left stood his long lost love, Starlynn Sonar; on the right stood Lily, Logan's love interest; and in the center stood the most ruthless adversary of all, Godhand Striker.

"Shit…" Dirks said. The hunters had become the hunted once more.

[Logan]

Drusilia’s eyes glazed over at the sight of Godhand Striker, and she knocked an arrow, pulled the bowstring, and let fly. Then another and another and yet another; all aimed at his feet in a hopeful attempt to pin him in place. Two of the four shots landed solid. The metal of the arrowheads sliced keenly through the thick leather and the doppleganger’s feet. The Kargoosh's illusion phazed for a moment, a quick reminder she was not facing the true Godhand Striker.

“Fakes. Only sodding fakes,” Max shouted in an attempt to keep both his party members from falling victim to emotions. “Fucking mind games,” the hardened criminal said through gritted teeth as he stared down his former lover while his hands gripped the hilts of his Prevalida swords. "Tree bitches first, then we kill the dopplegangers."

Logan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. All of his energy and focus went into that breath, and with an exhale he opened them. A renewed fire and determination filled his pupils as he reached around to his back and pulled his swords from their sheaths. “Nobody mindfucks a psion,” he said his grip tightening around his hilts. ”Nobody!”

Until then, the treants had remained mostly subdued, but at the telepathic shout they entered into the fray. There was no longer a focus on thoughts or emotions, but only on the battle at hand. The treants moved in front of the Kargoosh trinity and surrounded the heroes as more treants joined behind the first few. The tree creatures had essentially encircled the three heroes pinning them back to back to back.

“Whatever you do, don’t stop moving,” Max screamed as he bolted from his position with all of the strength and speed he could muster. His swords sliced true, branch after branch falling to the ground with a thud behind him.

The psion followed suit, his blades flying in a delicate dance of speed and accuracy focused on the legs of two treants. The attacks landed square and the blades sliced easily through the thick, tree trunks as the treant fell forward.

Drusilia realized she had been left alone, and with a smirk of her own she knocked more arrows. As she bolted from her position, she let loose two shots. The bow moved with an elegance and grace known only to the most skilled of archers, and yet she still managed to feed her furor into the shots. The arrows tore through treant bark and buried deep into their faces. The treants fell backward and knocked over two of their companions with them. The hunter leaped into the air, readied her dagger, and as she landed dug it deep into the first fallen treant’s face. As it roared out in agony, she bounced to the next fallen treant and repeated the action.

The three remaining treants violently swung their branch-like arms toward Logan and Max. The psion did not need to communicate with the criminal. He knew what Max was most likely to do, and he was certain Max would know what he was going to do. Their blades, almost in unison, swung up into the air as the treant branches came down toward them. Ringing just as true as before, they sliced deftly through the branches. As all three treants fell forward, the momentum of their attempted strikes bringing them closer to the psion and his comrade, they unleashed a flurry of strikes. Their blades pierced deeper and deeper, more and more bark and plant flesh fell to the ground until all that remained was the hearts of the beasts. They raised their swords and plunged them deep into the beating hearts, and the beating ceased. The deep groans of the treants were silenced.

All that remained of the assailants was the Kargoosh. Perhaps it was luck, but Drusilia’s pinning shot seemed to hold the three entities in place even in the midst of the melee.

Or perhaps it was something else entirely.

[Max Dirks]

The Kargoosh’s divide and conquer ploy worked. While Dirks and Logan were busy demolishing the treeants, the three doppelgangers made their move on Drusilia. Advancing at incredible speeds, the copies attacked in succession. First, the Starlynn attempted a running cross slash, forcing the drow to drop to the ground. Then the Godhand leaped into the air and started raining crimson arrows upon the fallen drow. She rolled around on the ground, desperately attempting to escape death at hands at visage of her former partner. Finally, the Lily flashed then appeared above Drusilia and kicked her in the side. The sheer force of the single blow forced the drow to spit up blood.

Dirks and Logan, still bathing in their egos following the destruction of the treeants, could only watch helplessly as the drow was attacked. Without hesitation, the three pieces of the Kargoosh continually kicked at Drusilia’s tensed body. If the duo didn’t do something quickly, Drusilia would die.

For an instant, Dirks was overcome by thoughts of old. Though the High Bard Council had named Drusilia as their hero, it was only because she possessed a null stone. However, the magical item worked regardless of its owner, meaning if the drow died Logan and Dirks could still use it to complete the mission on their own. Nothing the Red Witch had thrown at them seemed to phase them so far…

But then Dirks’ eyes fell on the copy of Starlynn. Though he knew the Kargoosh’s selection of his deceased love was simply the ultimate “fuck you” from Pode, the former criminal could not ignore the impact she had on his life. Granted, Dirks committed to purifying Lindequalmë on his own, but really it was Starlynn’s love that started him on the righteous path in the first place.

“Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh,” Dirks laughed coldly. “You stupid bitch,” he called out to the rabbit, knowing Pode would be listening intently. “Do you really think the elves would send her to end you? Someone who’s faced a Forgotten One and survived? Someone so easily recognizable you’d pick up her scent before she even entered the forest?” Dirks reached down into his pocket and fumbled around. Desperate to keep his lie going, he grabbed his compass and held it up into the air. “It’s always been me: the criminal, the scoundrel, the bastard...the one you’d never expect who held the key to your demise. Come get me if you dare, you piece of shit.”

There was a long moment of tension. The doppelgangers stopped kicking at Drusilia as if gauging whether Dirks’ words were true. Sensing he gained the Red Witch’s attention, the former criminal did everything he could to sell his lie. With a smirk, he took off, running towards the direction of Pode’s grove. Faux Godhand, Lily and Starlynn gave chase. With their enhanced speed, they caught up with Dirks almost instantaneously. Using another combination move, the fakes forced Dirks to the ground. One of his prevalida short swords was flung out of his hands while he used the other to fend off Starlynn, who was chomping at him like the rabbit had done to the air only moments before.

“Logan, help!” he managed to call out just before Starlynn struck him in his broken rib. Like Drusilia before him, Dirks started coughing blood.

[Logan]

“Fucking hell,” was all Logan could say. Unsurprisingly, Max’s actions had pinned him into a corner he would be unable to pull himself out of, and seemingly as if on cue shouted for the psion’s help. “Leave it to the telepath to rescue the criminal in distress,” he grumbled to himself.

There was no love lost between Max and Logan. Their timeline as friend and foe went back further than most lifespans on Althanas, and their history was riddled with strategic successes and utter failures. The psion shook his head silently, but as always they’d figure out a way. At least he would, and so he did.

He ran to Drusilia’s side, who had by then already made her way to her feet. She staggered slightly and Logan caught her. He steadied her, and then pointed toward the dopplegangers. “Look Dru, I know you’re hurting and shit’s a mess, but this is just how it goes with Max and I. We’re a mess. An absolute hot fuckin’ mess of a pair, but we always get the job done.”

She nodded silently; enough of a response for Logan to take a deep breath before he continued, “but we can’t complete this job without you being okay. Are you good?”

The drow surveyed her injuries quickly before nodding again, “I’ll be fine. Let’s end this fucker.”

Logan smirked. The drow’s demeanor certainly grew on him over their time together. There was definitely an appreciation for her soldier’s mentality and never say die attitude. Then again, both of those traits were ones he was well known for as well, so perhaps he saw glimpses of himself in her. Either way, he considered a friend by that point.

Max was in a puddle of coughed up blood, but still managed to cover the majority of his body by curling up into a fetal position. Normally, the psion would take the opportunity to make a snide remark about Dirks taking it like a man, but the situation was anything but normal and so he kept the thought to himself.

A quick survey of the situation left him with only one idea. “Dru, ready an arrow and keep it pointed at my head. Let fly when I give you the signal,” he said as he watched Dirks being pummeled more and more.

Drusilia opened her mouth to respond, but before she did a quiet thought pierced her mind, ”Trust me.”

The psion sprinted from his position toward the Kargoosh trio. Behind him, Drusilia held the bow remarkably steady as she followed his movements. Both blades seemed to dance in the air around him, the sunlight glimmering about the entrance to the grove, but really they were just an effect.

It took the dopplegangers only a few moments to respond to the charging assailant. Lily was the first to break their formation as she leaped into the air, claws forming at the ends of her fingers. Logan spotted the attack amidst the flurry of his blades, and managed to spin his body just right to avoid them. As he smashed into the Lily fake, the blades merely a distraction, he grabbed her tight.

Logan spun the fake around, his back to the other dopplegangers and Dirks. The whole time Drusilia followed his movements, even as his bladed flailed about beside and before him. She wanted to let the arrow fly then, but she held it. Then she heard it, the faint audible sound of his telepathy, ”now.”

She unleashed three arrows in succession. The first thudded into the back of the fake, burrowing far enough the tip pierced through the other side. The second landed square into the back of her head and out through the opened mouth cavity, deflecting partway through and thankfully angled upward away from the psion. The third missed both Logan and the fake entirely.

“Two out of three ain’t bad,” she quietly mumbled to herself.

Logan pulled the fake to his chest in a tight hug. He wasn’t sure what the final battle would be like with Pode or her minions, but he wanted to hold Lily one last time. The doppleganger phazed one final time as the limp form of a bunny slipped from his grip and dropped to the ground beneath.

The psion turned his attention to the other two fakes. Godhand Striker was bearing down on him, and Starlynn continued to have her way with Dirks’ nearly limp body. There wasn’t much time left.

[Max Dirks]

It only took a small opening. With faux Lily and faux Godhand’s attention turned to the psion, Dirks struck at his remaining assailant. Still clenching his short swords from the fetal position, he swung his right hand around at the faux Starlynn's leg. Though the force of the blow wasn’t enough to sever a limb, the sharpened prevalida dug deep into her calf. The entity cried out before hobbling several paces backwards. Dirks noticed that when the sword was pulled free of her ‘skin’, there was no blood. The red hue of the vision’s leg simply turned pink.

The former criminal took the opportunity to climb to his feet. His entire midsection was bruised, and it looked like his face was about to pop. Considering the extent of the swelling, Dirks was pleased that he could still view what was in front of him, though Logan and Drusilia were lost in his periphery. Dirks spit a wad of blood to the ground, scanned the area by turning his neck like an owl. Behind him, Godhand was advancing on Logan. In the distance, Drusilia was firing arrows at their opponents.

“Enough,” the criminal called out. He threw the sword in his left hand to the ground and withdrew his ‘twin’ Beretta from its holster. Bullets wouldn’t work against trees, but they would tear up visages. In one quick motion, the criminal turned to Starlynn and then cut the distance between them with a valiant charge. Upon arrival, he arced his right wrist, sending a high cross slash across her chest. Showing surprising agility given her injury, Starlynn ducked his blow and slammed her hands hard against Dirks sternum, causing him to backup several feet.

Dirks coughed up more blood then eyed the copy of his former love. The visage swayed on unsteady feet, but kept her glare fixed on the former criminal. This – a standoff between Dirks and Starlynn – was the ultimate fuck you from Pode; a clear sign of the Red Witch’s arrogance even in the face of defeat. Rage began to fill the criminal’s veins. He cursed, and then assaulted the copy once more. Blinded by anger and swelling, Starlynn was able to dodge Dirks’ one handed attacks relatively easily, a testament to Dirks poor training with the weapon. Even with one foot, she parried each slash. After three such attacks, Starlynn grabbed the hilt of the weapon and tried to push it back into Dirks’ body.

“Got you,” he called out. Dirks’ sloppy swordsmanship was just a ruse. It was meant to put the copy into a position where she could not dodge the bullet that was about to enter her chest. With a sharp bang, the bullet escaped the barrel and struck Starlynn in her left breast. She immediately released her grip on the sword and fell to the ground. Dirks through his remaining long sword to the ground and stood over his fallen prey. “Good night, old friend,” he said.

However, before Dirks could pull the trigger, Logan zapped a thought into his mind: Help!. The criminal turned his whole body to see Godhand upon him. Faux sword struck steel, but the clashes were deadly and real. Drusilia had reached the psion, but the Dawnbringer clone had positioned himself so that any arrow shot would strike Logan’s back. If Dirks didn’t do something, his friend could be lost.

Forgetting about Starlynn, Dirks took off towards Logan. He fired a single bullet, which struck Godhand in the shoulder. It didn’t faze him. He kept assaulting the psion with blow after blow. Dirks fired again and again, but it was to no avail. Eventually, Godhand connected with Logan so hard, that it sent the telepath to his knees. “No!” Drusilia called out, lowering her bow and rushing to his aide. But Dirks knew it was too late. Godhand was the strongest dreg to ever set foot on Althanas and even though this was a copy, the Kargoosh would mirror the qualities of the host.

“Drusilia, catch,” Dirks called out. He had one last idea, but he didn’t know if it would work. It would all depend on whether his partners could process things in time. Dirks hit the release mechanism on his gun, causing the clip to fall from the chamber. Once the clip was firmly in his hands, he threw it at the drow as she ran towards the fallen psion.

The next moments were a blur in real time, but they would be etched in Dirks’ mind in slow motion forever. Drusilia caught the clip midstride; however, instead of stopping to help her fallen partner, she ran directly at the faux Godhand. When she arrived, she used the wooded rim of her bow to knock away a passing blow, then stopped in front of the copy of her former lover. “Eat this,” she cried. Then she shoved the clip into Godhand’s mouth. As though on cue, Logan clenched his fist and drained all the oxygen from around the visage. As the bullets decompressed, they exploded, sending pink Godhand bits to the forest floor. Drusilia was knocked backwards from the proximity of the blast, landing hard against the ground. Though he was already on the ground, Logan too was slammed backward.

Dirks too, was caught slightly off guard. The force of the blast caused the hair on his chin to fry. He raised his hand to cover his eyes and halted his advance. After a moment, Dirks looked up to just in time to watch the body of the faux Godhand crumple to the ground. Logan was getting to his feet and Drusilia was groaning, suggesting she too survived the blast. A smirk reappeared on the criminal’s face as he realized his plan worked. Finally these two were starting to get him. Dirks opened his mouth to yell something snide at Logan when a sharp pain cut through his chest. The former criminal looked down to see the tip of a short sword, his short sword, protruding from his chest…

[Logan]

Time slowed for both Logan and Drusilia who watched in horror as Dirks was impaled by his own sword. There was a pause by the pair as Max looked down at his chest, and then looked up at them. Moments seemed like hours as the psion rushed to his side, his own swords flying through the air in a dance of expertise.

The drow lifted her bow, knocked a single arrow, aimed it at the doppleganger's head and let fly. There was no warning for the psion, the shot came too quick and the ringing in his ears destroyed any chance at hearing the approach. The arrow twirled through the air gracefully just as Logan dropped his swords. Starlynn came down upon his with such force, his entire body crumpled beneath her.

Thwack. The arrow rang true, finding its mark thanks to the psion's sudden surrender.

"But...how", she questioned under her breath.

The psion looked to the tops of the trees as his eyes welled with tears. Even if Max survived, there would be scars. Perhaps not physical scars, but certainly emotional ones. Could the criminal truly bounce back from such a ferocious battle?

Logan took a deep breath, coughing twice as his cracked ribs forced shudders from his lungs. "Fuck me," he said quietly.

Drusilia rushed to Dirks' side, tending his wound and tried to figure out the best way to help him. "Don't fucking die on me, you arrogant asshole," she shouted at Max as she tried to hold back the tears.

The psion took another deep breath as he rose to his knees and then to his feet. He made his way to Drusilia's side and knelt down next to her, his arm wrapped around his midsection which began to numb under the immense pain. He rested his free hand upon Dirks' shoulder as Logan closed his eyes. "Fuck me, indeed."

Drusilia looked at Max and then at Logan. "What the fuck do we do now?"

Logan hesitated. There was only one real answer to that question, but was she prepared enough to hear it? He kept his mouth shut.

But she demanded again, "Logan, what the fuck do we do now? We can't go on without Max!"

The psion lifted his hand in a request for silence. Well before their journey into the Red Forest began, the two friends had made a pact. Should one of them fall in battle, the other would ensure the job was seen to the end and ensure Drusilia made it to her destination. Pode couldn't be allowed to win, no matter the ultimate cost. Could he truly go on without his friend though?

Drusilia couldn't sit there as Logan remained silent, so she moved to the fallen Starlynn and removed the arrow from its skull. As she did, however, the illusions faded and Pode's magic seemed to hum in the area. The Kargoosh faded back into view, and unfortunately right next to the psion.

Without warning of its arrival, the psion jumped. It was movement he hadn't anticipated. The Kargoosh opened its jaws wide and made a lunge for him. The psion rolled to his side, escaping the Kargoosh's teeth by mere inches. As he wiped the tears from his eyes, his hands reached down for his short swords which weren't there. "Seriously? Fuck me sideways..."

The swords were a few feet away, and there wasn't time to leap to them. He reacted on instinct alone, gripped the hilt of the sword in Max's back and ripped it from his body. Blood spilled out like a raging ocean, but he had no time to examine the wounds. The sword slid through the air with ease and up through the Kargoosh's furry torso. The impaled rabbit-like creature let out a loud, blood-curdling cry as Logan drove the blade deeper into its body. "Karma's a bitch, fucker," he screamed out of anger and rage.

The Kargoosh twitched as the psion twisted the blade within its body, severing vital organs. Moments passed before the creature shuddered its last breath as nerves died off bit by bit. The eyes glossed over, and as quickly as it began it was over. The trio had defeated impossible odds, but the real challenge was still yet to come.

[Max Dirks]

“Down, but never out,” Dirks mumbled before falling to the ground. He pressed hard against his chest, trying to at least half the blood loss he was experiencing. “Quickly,” he said after Logan ended the Kargoosh’s life. “You must mask her in its blood before Pode learns it’s dead.”

The rabbit’s final cry alerted every remaining soldier of Pode to the presence of the trio. They only had a moment to enact the last stages of the High Council’s plan.

“What do you mean, mask me in its blood?” Drusilia asked.

The former criminal proceeded to tell Drusilia about the full extent of the elves’ ploy. He told her about the groves, and the chosen few. He explained the importance of the null stone and how the blood of the ridiculous rabbit would allow the drow to enter the grove undetected. Drusilia simply nodded as she processed everything in her head.

“But I lied about one part,” Dirks finally admitted. This admission was directed towards both Drusilia and Logan, both of whom had been manipulated by the gun wielding former criminal. “Earlier I told you that there are three players in the war: the fodder, the escorts and the heroes, but the truth is there are only two. We’re your distraction, Drusilia; mighty warriors sent here simply to divert the Red Witch’s attention from the real threat…you”

Though Logan let out a light sigh, the news came as no surprise to him. “Come on,” he said to Drusilia. She did not object. The telepath grabbed the deceased corpse of the rabbit and held it above her head, allowing the blood to pour over her body. The Kargoosh was the eyes and ears of Pode, but she had no control over the devilish being. As long as she saw it moving, she would think it was alive. Once the drow was draped in blood, Logan allowed a small portion of it to pour unassumingly into a handkerchief.

“This, my dear, is where we part,” Dirks coughed as he slowly climbed to his feet. Logan offered Dirks’ his sword but he declined. Still reeling, the former criminal withdrew his Berettas and held them at ready. He took two steps towards the growing noise from the north, but fell to his knees when he was overcome with dyspnea. Dirks nearly fell to the ground, but he was caught by Logan before he could fall to his knees.

“Go…” Logan said to Drusilia. “Go!” he shouted after she did not immediately move. Drusilia gave Logan a nod, then started running in the direction of the grove. Once she was out of view, the telepath placed his arm around Dirks, allowing him to use Logan’s weight as balance. Together the two former criminals stumbled towards the oncoming hordes of Pode. Ahead of them, armies of red Griffins, treeants, fealotes and wolves appeared on the horizon. Dirks gave Logan once last glance and a smirk appeared on his face. If they died, they would die together…as heroes.

[Silence Sei]

Story- 7/10

You guys had a well written story here, that seemed to dip and slide into the action. Sometimes this was good but other times it jarred me out of the experience. It seemed as though whenever you guys seemed to lose steam on an idea, you just said 'lets throw in another monster' to up the ante. While this can be okay, please be advised that fighting and fighting and fighting does not necessarily make a good thread.



Setting- 6/10

Your setting seemed to take the back seat to a lot of the action. Sure, you guys would do well to describe the forest in lulls between engagements, and even when it worked to your advantage, but very rarely did I notice the use of all five senses. When Logan was on the ground, did he inhale any dirt or lose grass blades while on the ground? The hair on Dirks chin starting to 'fry; was a good example of using senses but I would have liked to see more on a full body scale. After all, if it was hot enough to fit that description, it should effect the whole of Dirks.



Pacing- 4/10

Like I mentioned before, this thread heavily jumped from battle to battle to battle, with some intermittent talking. I would have liked a few posts of just thinking the trio was safe before another beast was thrown at me. It was quite difficult for me to grasp, especially with the way you guys described how 'useless' Logan and Dirks were compared to Dru.


Communication- 8/10

You guys work well together and it shines through in this thread. At no point did I ever stop to think that the characters would not use a certain piece of dialogue with one another. Drusilia especially; as someone currently fighting the character myself, I found you two portrayed her quite well, though there were times she came off more as a damsel in distress rather than the proud warrior she is.

Action-8/10

Actions, wow, there was like -so- much action in this thread. You guys have your characters pull off badassery like it is second nature to you guys. The only downside here is, as I said before, you went through leaps and bounds to tell me how futile Dirks and Logan were compared to Drusilia and the other hero in this thread. Even with suspension of disbelief and whole bunch of dumb luck, it was difficult to swallow the trio overcoming the insurmountable odds you placed before them without at least one charge from the null stone being used.

Persona- 7/10

The score here would be higher, but much like in my commentary for communication, you two sometimes played the headstrong, take no prisoners Drusilia like a helpless woman. I understand these were areas you wanted to use to make your guys the heroes of the story, but I honestly can't think of Dru as being able to defeat Pode without all the hand holding you guys did for her.


Mechanics- 5/10

There were several grammatical and spelling errors, as I pointed out a few to each of you in a previous Skype call. Sometimes proof reading isn;t enough, and a second pair of eyes can help alleviate the problems you guys have. Dirks, you even used the phrase 'Pode's Fuck You to Dirks' almost word for word twice between post 10 and 12. Using similar expressions like that can really ruin the read, especially when you have different ways to phrase them.



Clarity- 5/10

There were a few clarity issues here, the most taxing was the illusions and whether or not they could actually be harmed by conventional means. At one point, a weapon simply phases through an illusion and yet in another, the godhand illusion takes three arrows to the back. Logan explained this to me in a Skype call, but as a reader, it is a huge head scratcher when it comes to whether the illusions were 'real' or not.

Technique- 5/10

There did not seem to be much in terms of actual technique here. That's not bad nor good, but ways to make your thread more technique filled would be through simple gestures like alliteration, similes, and maybe some metaphors. You did foreshadow the next round quite well, which is why your score is where it's at.


Wildcard: 8/10

Overall, I enjoyed the read of this thread. Dirks and Logan trying to redeem themselves is a great story, albeit one that takes a backseat at times to the fighting. If the two of you can simply add more depth to your settings, throw in a few literary techniques, and watch the mechanical/clarity errors, the next chapter of this saga could well be a JC.

Final Score: 63/100

Member receives:

Logan receives 1000 Exp, 300 GP

Max Dirks receives 1400 Exp, 300 GP


Congratulations!

[Lye]

EXP & GP Added!