Feel The Beat

[Hashigaki]

Well, not really. It's just in my head.

Anyways, hi, I'm new. Before you ask, as I've read around, no, you may not rape me, please.

[Witchblade]

You're going to upset a lot of the members like that. Don't you know newbies get no say in the matter of their rape? Really, we all discuss which one of us gets to do it in the hidden, secret mod forum. :p

I usually don't take part in it, I just like killing things, not raping them.

Anyway, *pulls out the welcome wagon, loaded with cookies! ...but some of them are poisoned.*

Welcome to Althanas. Please keep your arms and legs inside the forum at all times or they may be removed by rabid zombies. Do not feed the following people if you don't want to get raped; Dissinger, LordLeopold, Santhalas, grim137, Vorin, nekoprince/Artifex Felicis, and Cyrus the Virus. Any screams you may now be experiencing are the sounds of dying characters, do not be alarmed for they sha;; be revived in new and inventive ways the following thread. Have a nice day.

*gives you a cookie*

[Meow]

hihi and welcome^^

just stay away from old man Vorin and blind Grim137 (though he's blind so it'll be easy^^) and you won't have to worry.

hope you have fun.

[Cyrus the virus]

*reveals nipple*

Hi there!

[Vorin]

Anyways, hi, I'm new. Before you ask, as I've read around, no, you may not rape me, please. When they ask like that, how can you still rape them?

With a gag.

Welcome to the boards.

EDIT:
...old man Vorin... Ow...

[nekoprince]

Aww, but I want a cookie. and I don't rape people. Just happen to warn them moments before they are raped.

Anyways, welcome to the boards, and while there is a considerably high amount of talk rape and whatnot, it usually only happen 50% of the time. Just carry a sharp dagger or make friends with Letho by giving him a red headed lesbian and you're all set.

[Elrundir]

Wouldn't it be better to give him two red-headed lesbians?

[Vampiric Angel]

That's only if you wish to be blessed with his godly presence in a quest.

[grim137]

Before you ask, as I've read around, no, you may not rape me, please.

I love how n00bs actually think they have a choice.

Don't worry I can be gentle, just ask Witchblade. ;)

[Witchblade]

Don't worry I can be gentle, just ask Witchblade. ;)

You said you'd never tell anybody!

*runs away crying*

All of your sexual privilages have now been removed!

[grim137]

No don't do that. If it makes you feel better I'll fix you a bath made with the blood of the finest Canadian orphans.

[Witchblade]

Make it American Orphans and I'll give you back all of your privilages.

[grim137]

Lets split the difference and make it British orphans.

[Vorin]

Don't worry I can be gentle, just ask Witchblade. Is it possible to be rough with such an obscure penis size? Watch Dateline tonight to find out!

That's for you Witchblade. Now stop trying to trade me!

[Witchblade]

Maybe if you stop making comments like that I'd actually want to keep you. Now shut up slave and get back to your closet!

And I think I can settle for British orphans, but you only get half of your privileges back that way.

[grim137]

Which half? Also explain slowly and in detail.

[Witchblade]

Now, now. You know that there are too many youngsters on the board. I'm afraid I might destroy their naive little minds.

You know where you can reach me if you want a list of all sexual activities you're allowed to perform.

[Letho]

Come on, people, let us not forget what this thread is all about. At this rate, Hashigaki will think that we're all a bunch of crayzies that write fantasy and talk about sex. And that's a hard fact he should come to realize gradually, not all at once. ;)

Now, where are my two lesbian redheads? I'm in a mood for something kinky. :cool:

[Witchblade]

Get back in your closet slave or I'll show you something kinky!

[grim137]

Be nice to him, he's stressed out. Make Vorin and Cyrus put on a dress and dye their hair red and that should please him.

[Witchblade]

No, they're my slaves!

I didn't trick them into their closets to make Letho happy.

[AdventWings]

Nobody is going to give Letho any redheads. My Girls will be making sure of that. ;)

Not to go off topic, welcome! We may seem strange, but it's only natural you could remain sane by going insane from time to time. :D

Check around the place after your character sheet is approved. Read up on a few quests that catches your eyes and maybe ask around for some of us frequentors to show you around. If you have AIM or MSN Messenger, you'll find us lurking about at various times.