~I, the hunter.~

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

[Closed to Redford. All necessary bunnying approved.]

[Continued about two-three months after the events shown here: ~Contender~ (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?29217-A-Contender-Arrives-Open-to-1!!!) the show much go on! Note this battle is part of a series.]

Life had a sometimes twisted way of putting mortals, and immortals, in their place.

After his battle with Rehtul Orlouge, Humphrey Nonyton learned a lot about himself. He learned he was capable of defeating terribly strong foes...at the cost of his own life. Power has a price. Humphrey thought as the shadow of The Citadel's structure loomed around him, placing a taint on Corone itself. He knew he'd done something unspeakable to Rehtul Orlouge, but it was The Citadel, and rules were different. I wanted to win. Out in the wild, he would have behaved entirely different. The boy burned the chi, life essence of the trees to sustain his own power. Are we truly that different? Humphrey thought as he looked at the ever open obsidian gates of The Citadel.

Crowds of people lingered on the building's grounds.

Some were contenders, some were spectators, and still others were gamblers.

Humphrey looked at the now familiar form of the master dwarf that guided him in his previous battle with Rehtul. It had been some months since that event, but every time he closed his eyes he could see the image of Rehtul's dying face before the warder symbol burnt his body to ash. It had proven too effective...maybe... Humphrey did not dare to complete that thought. He knew he'd grown strong in a short period of time, but that strength demanded sacrifice. Humphrey walked casually towards the master dwarf that aided him in the previous match. He was speaking to two young contenders about registration it seemed. Humphrey made it to that position and folded his arms across his chest. He waited for the master dwarf to conclude his business.

When the two young contenders made their way towards their chamber, one turned towards Humphrey and nodded at him with something like respect.

Humphrey nodded back.

The Citadel was going to become a second home, and Humphrey was rapidly learning of it's customs and traditions.

He then turned his attention to the master dwarf. "Master dwarf." Humphrey said with respect that was genuine.

"Ah, the young hunter." The master dwarf looked at Humphrey and nodded politely. He then continued to speak. "Brilliant show you had of your last match. You fought until the very end. You should know that the boy, Rehtul, has since recovered well from his ordeal."

"That is good to hear." Humphrey said flatly, almost coldly. It's not that he didn't care about Rehtul's well being...it was that Rehtul had attempted to kill him. I have to remember where I am. Contenders here are likely seeking blood sport. I can't feel bad over a Citadel match...it's just like throwing out the trash, you just do it. But Humphrey was not being honest to himself. A part of his soul weighed heavily with the outcome of that battle. He did not speak to anyone about the apparition that had visited him in the end. That was his business alone. Humphrey looked at the master dwarf. "I am here for more training. I am eager to continue my studies after that last battle." He said calmly and stared off into the distance.

"Would you like the same chamber?" The master dwarf asked in response.

Humphrey simply nodded. "If that can be arranged."

"All right. Humphrey my boy, remember not to loose sight of yourself when pleasing the Thayne of War." And the master dwarf proceeded to make the proper arrangements for Humphrey.

***

Something about this doesn't sit well with me. Humphrey thought to himself as The Citadel arena manifested before his eyes. It is true that they love warfare and bloodshed. But killing that boy...didn't seem right to me. It didn't feel correct. But there's little I can do about it now. Humphrey blinked and the world-that-was-not-real appeared before him. Somehow, the illusions that The Citadel's monks created were so complete that they could fool even the kitsune's enhanced senses. The forest and fields of Akashima manifested before Humphrey's eyes. The magical arts of the monk filled Humphrey's imagination with wonder and awe. This is the only positive aspect of The Citadel...however...I must use it to grow stronger. Humphrey gave the master dwarf specific instructions for his opponent. He was looking to fight a very specific Citadel contender.

The sky above was a pale blue sky, and Althanas's sun shone brightly overhead.

The temperature was pleasant and the breeze came in from the South with a subtle chill to it. His fur could keep him warm. Humphrey was standing a few paces from the open chamber doors, his eyes closed in deep meditation. No matter what he did, he could not shake the almost ethereal sound of Rehtul Orlouge's dying scream. His face haunted him even while he was awake. He knew that Rehtul was likely an enemy and would remain as such. The Citadel was not the place one went to make friends. It was a place of battle songs and warfare. As Humphrey stood there meditating, he could feel the uncomfortable rage building up in his heart with every passing moment. During his battle with Rehtul Orlouge, something awful had happened, and awakened a sleeping evil from deep in Humphrey's soul.

Humphrey stood at the ready, his long katana prepared. He held the elegant Akashiman weapon in one hand, the angled blade's tip pointing towards the ground. It cast a shadow on the grass beneath him, his eyes closed and his long hair rippling in the wind.

Humphrey waited for the enemy to arrive so they could entertain the masses.

This is all bullshit if you ask me...but I am starting to like it...Thayne help me. I am starting to like it. Humphrey thought, and ever present in the back of his mind was Rehtul Orlouge's face...

[redford]

The citadel’s dark stone tower loomed over the courtyard, it’s shadow moving slowly, like an ominous sundial’s across the crowded expanse where people gathered. There was a large crowd of people, perhaps there were some of the more skilled fighters engaging today. The air was warm, and smelled of iron and sweaty bodies. John himself stood head and shoulders above most of the people at the Citadel, save for some of the larger fighters. Though, he would be the first to admit, size didn’t matter much in the Citadel.

He’d been sent to the citadel several times by his father to fight and learn how to swing a sword, but that was both before his exile and before he came by the gauntlets he currently wore. Ever since he put them on one year ago, they refused to come off by any means, magical or otherwise. In addition, he also seemed to lose his skill with any weapon. He tried knives, swords, maces, hammers, and bows; but all to no avail. He was clumsy with the sword and unsteady with the bow, and since he seemed to lose all skill with weapons only and right after donning the gauntlets, he assumed it was their doing. Since this loss of skill, he’d been training himself in unarmed combat. He was progressing well, but bags and logs only held so much of a challenge before one had to engage real opponents. So here John was, wondering if the last year of training had been worth it.

As he walked the perimeter, several of the gamblers pointed at him, waving money at people taking bets. It seemed that his height was intriguing to them. John scoffed a bit. Though his record in the citadel was positive, betting on a man because of his size was a foolish venture, and John really did not have the patience for such things. He turned his attention to the several entrances into rooms where illusions would be created for the fight. He sighed. Well, I’m never going to get better unless I fight, and I’m not going to fight unless I get over there, he thought, turning towards the set of gates.

He approached the nearest open spot and gave his name to the dwarf standing there, who said something about having an opponent waiting in the arena.

_______________________________

John had been in several unique arenas before, but usually when he had fought in the past, his opponents had tailored the arena to suit their fighting style. There appeared to be nothing of that here. John stood at the edge of a meadow, a torii marking it’s entrance. Another stood at the far end, a catlike creature wielding a katana standing at it. John strode forward through the grass until they were perhaps twenty feet away. The katana could likely be blocked by his gauntlets. He willed them to grow short studs on the knuckles, feeling a light tingling as they did so.

Finally, a flesh and blood opponent, John thought, smirking. It was most unusual for him to smile, and now he felt almost giddy, which would have worried him had he been paying any attention to it. He settled into a balanced stance, feeling his gauntlets grow warm, which was something which had also never happened before.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

Then his opponent arrived.

The kitsune's eyes narrowed. He saw a rather unshaven fellow enter The Citadel chamber. Humphrey immediately noticed the pair of gauntlets the man wore...they radiated a glow. A very particular a glow, a glow that made Humphrey frown almost right from the start of the encounter. What have the monks done?! Humphrey thought to himself as he looked at the man before him. He is Hume...yet he smells entirely like a Makai. This deserves further analysis. Humphrey kept his distance from the strange looking Hume. He did not approach the man, he merely held his ground. Humphrey's fur rippled in an eerie way and the fox-like demon hunter studied his opponent. He noticed there was a smile on the man's face. Is he mocking me!? Humphrey felt an unusual amount of hostility towards the current situation and his newly acquired opponent.

The Citadel arena chamber doors shut of their own accord and vanished, thus completing the illusionary world's sublime effect.

Humphrey finished sizing up his opponent, but he could not stop staring at those arcane enhanced gauntlets. His gut told him they were likely either enchanted with Makai powers...or...

The thought made him shudder.

Humphrey instinctively raised his weapon to a more ready combat position. Steel metal reflected the afternoon sun as the wind came in from the south. Humphrey noticed that the symbol on his own weapon glowed with a hungry power. Those gloves...are likely Makai in origin. I cannot ignore that... The young hunter had learned a lot since his battle with Rehtul Orlouge. That gained knowledge would be used further in the current ordeal he was likely getting ready to face. Humphrey decided that it was time to begin. He never removed his piercing eyes from the mysterious gauntlets that the man before him wielded.

Humphrey walked towards the gruff man and halted approximately two paces away from him. Well within striking distance. Humphrey almost did not want to know what sorts of power those gauntlets possessed. "You wield gloves that are...enchanted." Despite the knowledge that Humphrey already had about his opponent, he did not want to delve too deeply if the man did in fact dabble with the demonic arts. Humphrey knew his statement would come off as rather rude..ninety percent of all Althanians had enchanted gear. It was a common practice, after all. However, the demonic arts...were not commonplace in modern Corone. Other lands...perhaps. But not immediately common in Corone unless one went looking for them. Humphrey took a deep inhale of the air that was around the gruff man. He smelled of wilderness and wild lands. And perhaps a hint of blood. "But alas, I am not the one who decides matches. You've come here to appease the Thayne of War. Just as I have." Humphrey said carefully. He was holding himself back from merely tearing the gruff man before him to shreds right where he stood. Humphrey kept a serious expression on his face, his eyes were almost cold.

"Know this stranger. You have likely come seeking combat. You have come to the right place. There is no need for pleasantries here." Humphrey said. He sincerely did not want to know the stranger's name or identity. The enchanted gloves the fellow had on him were what concerned Humphrey. He wanted to learn exactly the truth of their enchantments for himself. He wouldn't rob the man outright, but if the power of the gloves were in fact Makai in origin...Humphrey would not hold back. He would allow the stranger a chance to explain himself before the battle started...and perhaps...introduce himself. If he did so...Humphrey would return the favour. The wind picked up at that point once more, this time...it carried a chilling cold with a hint of Salvar on it. The cold was almost unnatural and the warder was too readily reminded of his battle against Rehtul Orlouge. Again, the image of the dying boy haunted his mind and prevented him from sleep. He missed sleeping naturally.

And with those troubled thoughts on his mind, he waited for the gruff stranger's response.

[redford]

Enchanted? Hmm…

John had always known that they held some kind of magic, it was obvious when he couldn’t take them off, even more when he could feel through them, yet heat or cold did not pain his hands. He held the gauntlets out from him, looking at the mirrorlike surface, almost liquid it seemed as it reflected himself and the background with near-perfect quality. His smile faded and he looked up at his opponent again. John was a hard man, and he’d been told he had an equally hard stare. He thought he saw anger in the eyes of the fox. He seemed to know something, and although John sought answers, he would give as little information as possible.

“Yes, they are,” He stated flatly. “What concern is it of yours?”

His opponent was more than a foot shorter than he, but John saw something of a fierceness in his eyes. Perhaps it was hate for him, perhaps he was just readying himself for battle, it mattered not; but John told himself not to trifle with this one. He remembered one of his lessons. Control the blade, and strike where possible, a teacher had taught him. Even if the gauntlets could take blows from his sword, his flesh would not. He took a step back, out of range of the sword, and readied a defensive posture. Since the swordsman had the obvious range advantage, a first strike from John would be unwise.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

Humphrey understood that The Citadel was more oft than not a terrible place for socializing.

However, the stranger before him already rubbed him the wrong way. Ruffled his fur, got under his skin. Humphrey wasn't exactly sure why he was so riled up, only the fact that the gauntlets could potentially possess Makai energy deeply troubled the hunter. He noticed the defensive stance that the gruff stranger assumed and also noticed something else. He is being cautious...he is not a stupid man like the other one...like Rehtul was. I will have to work this time. The hunter held his almost cold expression on his face and he would respond clearly so that the man before him would understand. "Enchantments of these sorts are the business of us Warders. And if need be, their cleansing." Humphrey said coldly. Humphrey would study what the man was capable of doing, and make it his personal mission to ward him if necessary. The hunter had a mission and that was to eradicate all Makai forces and influences. And he would make it a point to do so, no matter how corrupt it made him in the end...he would see it done.

Humphrey kept a weary glance on the gauntlets...they were an unknown.

And unknowns oft shifted the balance of war.

Humphrey started to walk again in the general direction of his opponent, after his exact step back. "Hold no quarters, and expect none in return, stranger!" Humphrey was getting angry, and that was a negative sign. He would use every amount of his skill to stop the person before him dead in his tracks, especially if he harbored evil in his heart. Once Humphrey had moved to the position he wanted, slightly off to the man's east, about a pace or two away, Humphrey attacked. He took two quick steps forward using the finesse of an acrobat. As he attacked, he readied himself and prepared to face whatever power those gloves could unleash. He took a mighty, almost arrogant swing, from a downward sword position. In a quick movement, he slashed upward, attempting to strike at the gruff man's chest. He didn't care if it hit or not he was attempting to provoke the stranger. The steel blade slashed fully upward, and it was an almost lousy attempt to maim his target. This is for show...I want to see how good he is...how good they are... He locked his eyes on the eyes of his foe.

And so, the battle was officially underway.

[redford]

John had no real quarrel with the man in front of him, though it would certainly seem he thought otherwise. His opponent took two quick steps forward and swung up toward his face. John leaned to the side, and the blade passed leaving him unharmed. John thought it an angry, reckless strike that sacrificed discipline and speed. The strike was quick, but it lacked form and follow-through. John saw the opportunity as the blade paused above his head, and he reached out as quickly as he could, feeling a gauntleted hand close around the blade. Control the blade, he thought to himself as he lifted his fore foot, aiming a powerful kick towards his opponent’s chest. He hoped that perhaps the catlike creature would be confident in his size and strength, and although he was tall and built well, John still had over a foot and fifty pounds on him. He pulled on the sword as his foot connected, forcing the man to stumble backwards as he lost his grip on the sword.

Now it’s even, if I can…

He was snapped out of his thoughts by a burning sensation from his hand that still held the sword’s blade. He tossed it to the grass instinctively, seeing a strange rune glow faintly before fading into an engraving. John raised an eyebrow at such a sudden sensation he had not had in over a year. The burning persisted for a moment as he looked back to his opponent, who had recovered and was flashing long, dangerous-looking claws.

John stepped forward, placing himself squarely between his opponent and the sword, adopting a wide stance. With any luck his opponent was less skilled with his claws than with his sword.

“Your sword is enchanted as well, I see,” He said, willing his gauntlets to grow short claws of their own. Though he could not make them as long as the furred man, they would certainly be just as dangerous. He smiled inwardly as he saw the reaction from his opponent.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

The glowing Warder symbol caught Humphrey's eyes almost immediately.

The truth is revealed...they are Makai in origin. Humphrey suddenly realized, as everything became as a blur, that he was no longer holding his weapon, it was on the ground a few paces away. Behind the gruff stranger. Humphrey shook his head, he'd made a classic novice mistake. But I know the truth now. He'd sacrificed firm weaponry and a command of the battle, to find out the truth of the situation at hand. Humphrey had indeed stumbled backwards after the man's counter strike and unpredictable maneuver. He is quite skilled and strong...I will have to be more careful. Humphrey's claws were extended by instinct, but another plan dawned on him. He is dangerous. And likely highly unstable, I have to be prepared for anything and escalate the situation to my advantage. So I should...

Where logic dictated he should use hand to hand combat, Humphrey did something else entirely.

After the man had attacked and Humphrey recovered, bruises developing where the stranger had struck, Humphrey suddenly straightened his person to his full height.

It was true that the man before him was incredibly tall and well built. Humphrey shook his head. The man's a fucking tank...don't be so careless. Humphrey suddenly, and with elegant skill, drew two other weapons from their scabbards. His bronze daggers, the tanto's called Justice and Salvation. Almost immediately, their own unique symbols began to glow in the presence of the Makai energy. As soon as he drew his daggers, he moved into a much tighter combat stance. Both daggers readily in front of his person. Humphrey was well armed and he was no longer messing around. "All Warder gear is enchanted for the safety of the Warder." Humphrey said. There was one other truth besides the fact that the fellow wielded Makai energy...Humphrey respected him. Humphrey quickly recalled his battle against Rehtul Orlouge. He'd learned a lot about his own capabilities during that event, and he would continue to learn and grow as a Warder.

Humphrey did not attack right away after drawing his weapons. Do not be predictable...keep him off guard. I made a mistake at the start of this...time to repay the favour. Humphrey thought to himself as he looked at the man with a serious expression on his face. He started pacing towards the stranger, his movements tight and very calculated. Humphrey closed the distance and was well within striking, cutting distance. However...he did not make the same mistake twice. "Your move." Humphrey said. "I'd make it count if I were you." The threat was not empty...it was a promise of the things to come.

[redford]

John saw the symbols engraved on the daggers his opponent drew, they would likely have the same effect if touched for too long. Though, he presumed that they would not burn his flesh, merely his gauntlets. The catlike creature moved forward toward John, who held his ground in front of the sword. The knives he wielded were long, but not quite long enough to give a significant reach advantage, though they were dangerous all the same. He thought as the furry opponent spoke, trying to form a strategy that could either eliminate one or both knives. One came, but it wasn’t the best he hoped, as he spoke to John. Well, I hope he’s not left-handed… John thought as he willed his gauntlets to grow spikes at the knuckles about two inches long.

“Here’s your move,” John said, leaning forward to give his strike more weight. He struck forward with his left fist just inside his opponent’s right arm, connecting with the shoulder joint, attempting to pin his opponent’s arm to his own. It seemed effective, and the spikes on his knuckles were dug into the flesh of the cat’s shoulder. His other knife came up fast at John’s chest, and he had barely enough time to block his wrist with an armored forearm.

A stalemate…

One of the better outcomes, John thought as he began to twist the gauntlet he had buried in the flesh of his opponent, hearing a growl, which was expected, and a boot swiftly coming up to his face, which was not. It connected at his jaw, knocking his head back and his body off balance, but he quickly recovered, feeling a gash at his own shoulder. He must have got me with the knife as he knocked me back, that’s pretty fast. There was a dull ache at the bottom of his jaw as he settled into an open-handed stance, favoring his now slightly weaker shoulder. The gash was shallow, but long, and if left alone would bleed him dry. He dared not check for blood on his chin, lest he take his eyes off the stranger. He was quite fast, and John did not dare provoke such reflexes . Perhaps if I can grab one of his arms, I’ll be able to do some damage before he gets me with the other knife. Not quite a winning strategy, but he doubted he’d be able to get as close as he did again. Obviously John had underestimated the cat’s reliance on his many weapons. He began to circle his opponent, the wind ruffling the auburn hair that covered his opponent’s body.

“The gauntlets are mine, and I do with them as I please,” He said, and as if to prove his point, He made the gauntlets morph from spikes on knuckles to sharp claws at the ends of his fingers and back again. “They are mine to control.”

He began to circle again, with the cat keeping both daggers pointed direcly his way.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

The kick to his opponent was largely ineffective and more of a desperation tactic.

He'd fallen backwards at the unexpected gash that developed on his right shoulder blade, but Humphrey was now furious He growled again and got himself up and off the ground. Humphrey still held his knives but then something dawned on him...The gloves he wields are enchanted...in fact with Makai energy. He is likely tainted by their influence...I must remember the Warder teachings if I am to survive. Then a new plan came to his thoughts. Of course...why didn't I think of this from the beginning!? Humphrey noticed that the dagger he held initially in his right hand was no longer being gripped in his hand, but was on the ground. Bastard disarmed me twice...I must return the favour! Humphrey thought to himself. His eyes became deadly serious. And Humphrey spoke. "And tell me stranger. How do you intend to control Makai energy? It is not you who does the controlling but rather the gloves. Eventually, the Makai's influence will turn you into one and I cannot allow this. I will put a stop to this and you will be Warded." Humphrey then began to concentrate on a seldom used art.

The Aspect of gingitsu, the fox deity that his people worshiped.

"In the name of the Warders, you will be cleansed!" Humphrey was no longer screwing around. He began chanting in the Warder teachings of Shinto Onmyoudo and his healthy hand, dagger held intact, began to move of it's own accord. The young Warder was intent on finishing the stranger off. As he chanted something else happened. His body began to glow with tremendous naturally occurring chi energy. The energy manifested as a bright, holy light, his aura. Humphrey burned the necessary chi to harness as much as he could on one potent attack. He continued to chant the entire time. It was a bare whisper of chanting, but the Warder was decently skilled in his training. His eyes went to a far away place, and seemed almost cloudy.

Once his power reached it's apex, the hunter attacked.

Humphrey formed a glowing orb of natural chi energy at the tip of his blade, using the knife as a conduit. He then pointed the blade tip towards the stranger. Immediately, the orb of chi flew towards the target, and Humphrey aimed the attack in the general direction of the stranger's chest. "To The After with you!" Humphrey yelled and felt every muscle in his body tighten at the release of his potent chi energy. The Warder's blood flowed freely from the injury that he'd just sustained at the stranger's hands. Humphrey meant very sincerely to return the favour. Humphrey's eyes soon reverted to normal but the powerful glowing Chi energy surrounded his body and he could harness the pool until it exhausted him completely if need be. Humphrey was already preparing another attack from his chi if need be.

[redford]

John could only assume that ‘warded’ meant destroyed, or something akin to it. He took one step back, trying to discern what his opponent would do.

Then the fox began to murmur in a strange language.

This cannot be good, John thought as he shifted his weight to his hind foot, adopting a defensive posture he’d learned from one of his many teachers. His opponent began to wave his dagger about, and as he did, his fur began to shine faintly with a golden light. The aura grew in intensity until his entire form glowed with light, his opponent still moving his lips unintelligibly. John fought the urge to take a step back as his mind raced to find a solution. This was something he’d never encountered before, and that made it dangerous. As the glow coalesced into an orb at the tip of his knife, it dawned on John what he was going to do.

John steeled himself, forming a flat plate on the end of his fist with his right gauntlet. He’d never been one to shy away from a strike, magical or otherwise; and now was not the day to start. He locked his jaw and bent his knees, bouncing on his back foot, waiting for the moment to strike. Suddenly, the orb was in the air and John was already in motion.

He took a quick step forward and leaned as much as he could into the punch, focusing all he could on destroying that orb. His fist connected for the briefest moment, and a thunderous explosion rocked the clearing, knocking John downwards to his knees as dust filled the air.

The ringing in his ears drowned out all other noise as John rose to his feet, slowly regaining his balance as the dust began to settle, the first thing coming into view being the vague, shining form of his opponent. he readied claws instinctively, waiting for an attack that did not come.

His hand hurt, by the gods did it hurt, and his arm and shoulder weren't much better, but perhaps he could discourage his opponent some. He raised himself to his full height, despite the pain, and formed long claws.

"I said," he growled, teeth clenched with pain "they are mine to control." he could likely continue the fight, but if he allowed his opponent to get off more attacks like that, he wouldn’t last very long, as he was still dazed from the first one. John prepared to attack the instant he saw the fox begin another incantation.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

Holy...shit...

Humphrey thought to himself. I now understand the full nature of those things. Their influence must be destroyed...I must win! He had only an inkling of the truth behind those gauntlets...they likely had done something to the stranger that augmented his native power greatly. Humphrey's body continued to glow, and he had the reserves of Chi Pool at his disposal if need be. But the Warder was going to be even more cautious as was the nature of the fox kind. Now that I have more knowledge of my enemy...I cannot continue to make careless mistakes...he has an advantage at the moment. But I can fall back on my Warder training. Humphrey shook his head and ceased the chanting that had overcome him briefly. His dark eyes reverted back to their normal hue, and the young hunter knew he needed to make something happen. All of the symbols on his enchanted weaponry glowed with power at that moment, and he had two of his own items on the ground. The dagger was nearby. He walked towards it and collected it.

He picked it up with his injured arm...he was still bleeding from that.

Humphrey quickly sheathed the extra dagger in it's appropriate scabbard, and then soon sheathed the other one. His eyes darted to where the wakizashi sat on the ground...symbol glowing with holy power. That's good my friend. You did your job well, I will collect you again as soon as I am able to. Humphrey shook off the pain as best as he could...there was still a job to be done. The Warder was still well armed but it was then that an idea dawned on him. Humphrey adjusted both hands and extended his claws to their full length. He assumed a loose and aggressive combat stance, and prepared to attack. The kitsune stood in a half crouching position before he darted towards the stranger. I have to take a gamble and maybe catch him off guard. He has to be as tired as I am... Or so Humphrey thought and assumed.

Humphrey darted forward at best speed.

The acrobat quickly covered the ground that sat between himself and the stranger. Humphrey's claws were chitin sharp, but that would suffice against the unarmoured man. As soon as Humphrey was within striking distance, his body still glowing with the light from within, Humphrey did the unthinkable. With his left hand he leaned backwards, muscles bunching up beneath his fur, and suddenly slashed forward. But it was where he slashed that counted the most. He aimed an angry, elegant strike...controlled strike...towards the man's face! At that point he was no longer just attempting to kill the stranger. I'm going to cut you...you will not enjoy this. There was a sudden aggressive expression on Humphrey's face that hand't been there before. It was almost frightening to behold. For the first time in the battle...Humphrey was sincerely angry. Humphrey's attack got closer and closer to the gruff stranger's face. It was an attempt to cut...and begin the process of turning the battle in Humphrey's favour.

Inadvertently, the rush up to the stranger's position brought him closer to his awaiting sword.

Humphrey had to wait and see what the stranger would do in reaction to his attack.

He'd completely committed to it.

[redford]

John thought he’d won the upper hand when his opponent sheathed his weapons, presuming that his skill with bare hands was superior. And it may have been, but he was still a bit dazed as the stranger lunged forward, claws outstretched. Pain bit the left side of his face, and he reflexively jerked his head to the right. He followed the movement, as one of his teachers had shown him, spinning his right foot around, turning his shoulders clockwise around the outside of his opponent’s outstretched arm.

Follow the movement, and every strike becomes open to counter.

His elbow connected with something solid, and he swept a leg out, trying to catch his opponent’s legs unawares, hoping that he was reeling from the blow, wherever it had landed. He had already lost sight in his left eye, he needed to finish this battle, and fast. He caught sight of the fox on the ground, and fell on top of him, planting a knee on his left arm, pinning it as agony pierced his shoulder, just under his collarbone. The fox had his sword pointed up and through John’s shoulder, blood flowing down the blade and pooling at the hilt. He was losing blood, this needed to end now. He raised a fist, and as the blade turned in his shoulder he screamed, bringing the blow down with as much force as he could muster, intent on ending this.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

Humphrey saw that his opponent was bleeding freely from the fresh gashes across his face.

He was on the ground a few moments later...but he had a satisfied expression on his face. To defeat the man before him...he would have to dig deep inside of his reserves... It was no longer about a loss or a win. The gauntlets were malevolent in nature, and Humphrey knew that he had to destroy them and their owner. Humphrey held his primary weapon at the grip, his steel katana, and the weapon's symbol glowed brightly with Warder power. Humphrey knew that the light would prevail over the darkness. He had faith in it. He held his weapon against the man's shoulder for a long moment, a sinister smile on Humphrey's own face. He saw the powerful fist coming down, likely to bash his skull in, and Humphrey did the unthinkable. He looked right into the man's eyes and said one word he remember for all time.

"Die." Humphrey suddenly said coldly. And he hoped to the Thayne that the stranger would realize what a stupid mistake he'd just made. Humphrey adjusted his body weight with best reflex capacity, the man was huge after all, and yelled the second spoken part of his words. "Die! By the Thayne, die damn you!" He pushed his weight against the sword, and acted in a cruel and decisive matter. He moved his body weight against the stranger's, and suddenly proceeded to rip his own sword right out of the stranger's shoulder's effectively tearing him apart. If it worked. He could already feel the initial fist assault against the side of his head. The stranger was also intending to finish him off. Humphrey would have to prove more lethal...more precise. As he countered the man's desperate maneuver he waited to see the full effect of what he'd just done. He'd attempted to rip his steel sword right out of the man's shoulder. It was no longer about the gloves. Humphrey was simply determined to walk out of there with his life intact. And that determination brought forth a swelling of emotions from deep within Humphrey. He could feel a numb sensation against the side of his skull, and it strangely reminded him of someone punching a slab of meat.

Despite that, Humphrey focused.

By the Thayne, did Humphrey focus.

He pulled against the stranger with all the hatred, wrath and precision he could muster.

The Citadel was known as a killing field for a reason...and Humphrey would walk out the victor even if it cost him his own life.

[redford]

John felt a tug at the blade in his shoulder as he struck the man below him again.

Use the pain as focus, John thought, fueling an almost furious determination with his agony. He felt another tug at his shoulder, and lost all sensation from his left arm; which fell alongside the two of them, still attached to his shoulder by shreds of mangled flesh. John struck his opponent with renewed vigor as his vision began to go dark, but soon, his strikes became weaker and slower. After a few seconds he was struggling to even keep himself upright as blood flowed from his wounds.

John collapsed forward on top of his opponent as darkness swallowed his vision and he felt no more.

[~Humphrey_Nonyton~]

The heavy man landed on Humphrey presumably knocked out.

Humphrey weighed considerably more than the stranger did, he was able to lift the heavily injured warrior off his body after some struggle.

Humphrey stood up and looked down at the defeated.

Then, he took his sword, the steel kataana, and continued to look at his fallen foe. His mind was clear at that point and he knew what he had to do. Humphrey walked towards the fallen warrior and readied his weapon one last time. He positioned himself so that his sword was directly in front of him. Then, he raised his weapon. With a cruel and decisive moment, the Warder slashed his weapon downward in a specific chopping motion. Humphrey noticed that his Warder symbol was glowing. They all were. That made his current plan of attack that much more important. "In the name of Gingitsu you have been Warded." Humphrey said calmly and slashed downward...he meant to chop the stranger's head clean off his neck.

***

Time passed.

Humphrey was getting treated for his injuries in the medical ward.

It'd taken approximately a week for the kitsune hunter to fully heal from his injuries.

Standing in front of Humphrey was the master dwarf that was his handler.

"You're starting to like this." The master dwarf said calmly. There was an amused expression on his face, in his eyes.

Humphrey nodded. He hadn't been able to sleep properly since he'd went into the medical ward to heal. He didn't really need much sleep anyway. Humphrey looked at the master dwarf as several healers and medics worked on the serious injuries that he'd sustained in battle. "That's not entirely true." Humphrey said calmly. "War is life. I don't just like this...I was meant to be here."

The master dwarf looked at Humphrey with a serious expression on his face. "You would make a fine follower of our Thayne of War, Humphrey. Maybe you would consider that path for yourself?"

Humphrey listened to what the master dwarf said for a moment. "I am a Warder. Whatever I do on the side, Warder business always comes first." Humphrey said carefully.

"Then you are interested in joining our faith as an Acolyte?" The master dwarf asked.

Humphrey rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'll consider it." Humphrey said carefully.

The master dwarf nodded. "Fair enough. See me at the temple after your next battle and we will proceed from there. By the way, he is recovered well if you wanted to know." The master dwarf suddenly said.

"Who has recovered well?" Humphrey asked.

"Your opponent..." The master dwarf said.

Humphrey frowned upon hearing that news. "Let me make one thing clear. He possesses cursed items. I will some day kill him for good and ward those items so they can harm nobody ever again." Humphrey said angrily.

The master dwarf appeared startled for the briefest of moments. "That is unfortunate. But you can do what you must."

Humphrey narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. "What was his name?" Humphrey asked.

"He didn't tell you?" The master dwarf responded.

Humphrey shook his head in the negative.

"I cannot reveal that information to you if he didn't tell you himself. Sorry, Citadel policies." The master dwarf said perhaps a bit coldly.

Humphrey merely grinned in response. "No matter, I know how he smells. I will find him another day and finish what I've started today. You mark my words...he's a dead man." Humphrey said coldly.

The master dwarf left quietly. Humphrey found himself with his thoughts and the pretty clerics that were aiding him. A sudden thought formed in his mind. Becoming an acolyte of their belief system doesn't sound like a bad idea. If anything, I can keep tabs on their activities from the inside... Humphrey closed his eyes and allowed the clerics to work their healing arts on him until he was fully recovered.

~Fin~

[redford]

John opened his eyes slowly, looking down at a woman standing to the left of where he lay. The strange itching sensation he felt signaled that she was healing him. He could still feel nothing below his shoulder, but he expected that to change as she did her work. Had he cared enough to notice, John would have thought her exceedingly beautiful. But, the cat’s words stuck in his mind still, like the persisting ring of a bell long after it is struck. He raised his right forearm, eyeing his gauntlet a little more warily than before.

I suppose I never thought about the origin of the enchantment,he thought as the metal rippled a bit in response to his thoughts. Demonic? All John knew of demons was that they were evil, perverted creatures that could only destroy everything they touched. He felt nothing like that from the gauntlets, but that wasn’t fair; he rarely felt anything from the gauntlets at all.

“You fought well, I watched,” the woman beside John said, pulling him from his thoughts.

“I lost,” He said, more to himself than anyone.

She replied quickly, as if she heard this kind of thing all the time. She likely did.“Half of everybody loses in the citadel, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

He looked up at her for a second, then back to his injured arm. It was true, what she said, but it did little to relieve what he felt. Perhaps because it was more disturbing that the powers and nature of his gauntlets were still largely unknown to him.

Maybe it was time to find out more.

The man he’d fought against seemed to know about such things, and with an appearance like that, he’d be easy to find as well. He settled back into the bed, letting the healer continue her work, and thought of where he might be able to find his opponent once he was well again.

[Logan]

~Humphrey_Nonyton~

Plot: 13/30

Story - 4/10 - There’s a story here, I’ll give you that. The gauntlets become the focal point due to their magics, but I never really understood why. You two would do well to go into more detail, more description about why this kitsune creature is suddenly hell bent on destroying these things. I get that it’s the whole Warder/Warden thing, but still, it just comes across empty. It needs more backstory.

Setting - 2/10 - I’m not even sure there was a setting to this battle, like at all. This battle could have taken place anywhere and anytime, and not a single line would have to be changed. There was one moment where I even had to read back in the thread to try to remember where the battle took place (the Citadel) because I swore it had an arena, but couldn’t find any description of it anywhere.

Pacing - 7/10 - I actually liked the pacing of this battle quite a bit. This is the one category where you both actually did well in, and I attribute that to the fact you both do play off each other pretty decently. Everything ebbs and flows in the battle relatively well.


Character: 8/30

Communication - 3/10 - You had dialogue, yay! Unfortunately, it was pretty bad. When I read Humphrey’s dialogue, internal and external, it felt more than forced. It fell flat, and disjointed. At times, it felt like I was watching an Oriental movie unfold in my mind, and all bits of dialogue (narrator or otherwise) were terrible voiceovers from English dubbing. Take more time with your dialogue so it doesn’t fall so flat. Be more mindful of how dialogue is intended to be natural, and not some English dubbing.

Action - 2/10 - Normally, I’d be all about the action in this thread. It was quick-paced, and full of well, action. My problem with it, though, is that it all falls flat. There were ample times for Humphrey to respond in the battle to an attack like a reader would expect him to, and instead he shrugs off every attack as if they never really happened. Now, I don’t mean he doesn’t feel their effect, but this is John, a mutha truckin’ giant of a man. His blows are going to cause something to happen, and instead by your responses in writing, I’d swear he was a 5 foot tall man. Please, be more mindful of the size of the opponent, and don’t shrug them off. It makes for terribly flat reading.

Persona- 3/10 - Humphrey has a persona, obviously. His character ties into the Warder/Warden thing relatively well. The problem, again, comes into how everything just kind of falls flat due to the disjointed nature of how you write. Your goal as a writer should be to invoke a scene that ebbs and flows naturally, not one read aloud by William Shatner on-stage. Unfortunately, Humphrey draws far too close to William Shatner, and it is jarring.


Prose: 12/30

Mechanics - 6/10 - On average, your mechanics are solid overall. While there are minor issues scattered throughout, you do a good job to keep things pretty mechanically sound. I would advise you to use fewer ellipses, and to avoid the significant use of emphasis via italics, as it takes away from your writing. That’s all I can harp on here, so you did well overall.

Clarity - 4/10 - Repeatedly, I had to go back and re-read a line to try to grasp just what was happening or what was attempting to be said. As a writer, this is probably one of the larger faux pas you can make. Also, as highlighted in Prose and Technique, you need to be significantly more judicious in your use of italics in writing, as it also affects clarity.

Technique - 2/10 - When you overuse italics, you lose the power of the emphasis they bring. By the end of the thread, I was ignoring the italics entirely and just reading the writing as if it wasn’t emphasized. Also, in the first post you so heavily point back to the battle with Rehtul, that it becomes overdone to the point where, as a reader, I became disinterested. Keep things simple and to the point. The best thing you can do as a writer is to be concise, and readers will always thank you for it.


Wildcard: 6/10 - You do well to actually write to the style of the audience, so long as we remove the whole emphasis and jarring nature of the dialogue style. Still, it wasn’t a terrible read, but the writing style needs work. As a veteran, there are a lot of things in this thread I would expect to have been cleaned up, but you continue to make the same mistakes. As I mentioned privately, I have further observations, if you wish to read them let me know.


Final Score: 41/100


redford

Plot: 11/30

Story - 2/10 - Unlike where I felt there at least was some story to Humphrey’s time in this battle, with John I wasn’t sure what was really going on story-wise with him. Some additional backstory would be beneficial, and some more hints at who he is would be beneficial. You did well to include the couple of references to his teachings in the art of combat, but they fall kind of flat, much like most of this thread.

Setting - 2/10 - See comments to Humphrey on setting. Nothing additional to add.

Pacing - 7/10 - As I highlighted with Humphrey regarding pacing in this thread, so too does it hold true for you. The pacing is the best part of this thread, for me at least.


Character: 15/30

Communication - 5/10 - You have a reasonable grasp as to who Join is, and how he should speak or think. It comes out in the writing, and it reasonably well executed. I didn’t have nearly the same issues with internal or external dialogue feeling forced, thus the higher score here.

Action - 4/10 - Whereas Humphrey didn’t react to most of John’s blows or attacks, John did to Humphrey’s. Thus the discretion in the scores here. The best part is the blurred vision, though I would prefer to see more emphasis on how that affects his combat such as his depth perception or something.

Persona- 6/10 - John is a big guy, and you do well to highlight that when you can. You tried to play off the differences in stature and height between the two, but by the end of the thread it began to feel like you were fighting someone of relatively the same size as John. I’d like to see more focus on those differences, but at the least you do a good job of keeping to who John is both in dialogue and in action. Keep it up.


Prose: 10/30

Mechanics - 2/10 - There were run-on sentences in multiple posts. There were typoes in a few places. There were sentences that structure-wise just weren’t well put together. I mean, to some degree, this score could be higher to highlight that the thread was readable, but this score is meant to drive home the point of how far you’ve come since this thread.

Clarity - 5/10 - Even with the mechanical issues, your posts made sense, and I only had to read back over a line a couple of times throughout the thread. I encourage you to keep writing with your natural style, as it lends itself to a great read when other areas are improved.

Technique - 3/10 - There was literally no literary technique to the thread. It just kind of happens in a place. There was some nice description of the blows and the pain. I really liked your later posts in describing the amount of blood, but still think it could’ve easily been a bit more artistic instead of matter-of-fact. That hurt you a little as well.


Wildcard: 6/10 - You both do a good job of recognizing who your audience is as a writer and making sure you aren’t writing to suit a different audience. You’ve improved tremendously, and I look forward to reading, or writing with you, again sometime.


Final Score: 42/100



redford wins! Congratulations!

Humphrey Naughton receives 375 EXP and 75 GP
redford receives 1188 EXP and 80 GP

[Rayleigh]

All GP and EXP have been added!