Althanas Day Roast

[Ebivoulya]

Well, I don't expect much out of this, but some of you might be salvageable. The concept is simple, insult the person (or character) above you. It can be true, or not, as long as it's funny. By posting in this thread, you forfeit the right to get mad about it. If you can't think of something for the people above you, I am the default roast-ee. Don't pull any punches, and try to keep a sense of humor.

Begin.

[Cards of Fate]

Somehow Ebi managed to level up when I haven't seen him post ICLY in ages.

[redford]

If Vince was a better father figure then maybe he'd make better furniture.

[Rehtul Orlouge]

Well, if someone didn't pack away more than a whale does in a year in one hour...

[Max Dirks]

At least we didn't need to copy Sei of all people when coming up with a character concept.

[Cards of Fate]

At least we don't make fun of people who actually write and contribute to site activity.

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Nope, we just make fun of people who think the epitome of creativity and humor is a codpiece shaped like an otter that shoots off lightning when you masturbate with it.

[Philomel]

Yeah and ... umm ...

No I cannot do it. Andy is just far too awesome.

Oh wait! He is American. BURNNNNNN

[Artifex Felicis]

You can make fun of things! Maybe you just need to actually look where your going and not be distracted by the great big horns weighing down Phi's head, or talking with your silly accent on skype all day!

[Sulla]

Ailsa is the worst thing to happen to Scotland since Braveheart was re-released with an all Susan Boyle soundtrack.

EDIT: That darn cat...

Colin has all the charm of a sickly pet you'd love to put down, but it's your girlfriend's and she'd complain too much about it, so you let it crap on your carpets and stare at you with that one lazy eye. Except he's worse, because all he does is talk about Nintendo and straddle the fine line of yiff like a Morris Dancer over yarn.

[Ebivoulya]

As a musician, Sulla knows what people want to hear: off-beat techno overlaid onto a Steven Hawking sex tape; and as a judge, Sulla is held up to the highest of standards, which is why he always changes tense mid-paragraph, and uses more commas than a shopping list.

[Rayleigh]

I mean, Ebi is sort of a dick.

[Cards of Fate]

Ray is too awesome.

[Philomel]

Vincent is too loud.

[Artifex Felicis]

We can't really trust fred for anything to be honest. Look at him. Too busy smashing clams on his stomach with his favorite rock, making spud canons, running boss battles. The very picture of untrustworthy.

[redford]

Says the cat.

[Storm Veritas]

Handle of "Redford", character's first name is "Robert".

Someone has a complex.

[Tobias Stalt]

Storm, huh?

Speaking of complex...

[Cydnar]

Always lets people down and leaves mid plot intrinsic to my character's development thread.

[Skie and Avery]

For a gay man, I expected more style.

[Sulla]

I've often said the same of Manda.

[Storm Veritas]

When homoerotic jailbait gets old, does the Subway guy get bored?

[Dissinger]

You'd know better than all of us Storm.

[Christoph]

Ah, my mortal enemy. You're a little too easy to Diss. /obligatory pun.

You're the only one on the site with a bigger ego than me <3

[Dissinger]

Somebody has to wear the pants around here...

[The Mongrel]

Let us know when you find yours, Dissinger.

[Rayleigh]

You scared the crap out of me for a while.

[Lightfoot]

I'm finding your versions of Roasts awfully cute.