View Full Version : Time to Repent
The tavern was dark and damp, like any other place that Ziggy had visited lately. The patrons were untrustworthy, and only looked out for them, much the way that Ziggy had been for the majority of his life. The only difference between him and the rest of the men in the bar, was that he wanted to get out of his low life status. He didn’t want people to cower every time he walked by, afraid that he would either mug them, or rape them for fun. It always seemed the same way to the rouge, as countless faces glared at him from his memories, in disproval of his life style.
Somehow, he would redeem himself to the rest of the world. People would not longer think of him as a lowlife, but would be able to hold him in the same respect as they would any other stranger they met on the streets. No longer would he have to sulk in the shadows, afraid that someone would disapprove of him. His life of thievery had to come to and end, and the only way he knew how to end it was to repent for what he had already done. He had killed countless people, both innocent and guilty, and had never once felt a pang of regret, up until now.
Getting to his feet, Ziggy made his way across the bar, dodging fists and bodies as brawls broke out as if a regular pass time. Every waitress he passed winked at him, remembering past night with them up in the rooms of the inn. He smiled to each of them, patting them lightly on their bottom as they continued on their way. It was one thing to give up murder and robbery, but woman were just not one of those things Ziggy could allow to leave his wife. Even though he loved someone, they were not married, and he was sure she had not kept to him alone.
Walking towards the door, a bulletin board caught his eyes. This was always a good place to start when he needed to find someone to help. Scanning the many pieces of paper, he found one that would suit his current needs perfectly. ”In need of help, young daughter gone missing on outskirts of Concordia. Unable to reach her, and need the help someone who is willing to save her. Reward is ready, and will be offered upon safe return of my daughter. Nodding, Ziggy made his way out of the bar, and towards the address listed. Knocking on the door, he was greeted by a young and beautiful woman, who ushered him in upon seeing the posted paper in his hand.
Making his way into the house, Ziggy followed the woman as she made her way into a sitting area. Motioning to a table, with chairs around it, she sat down. Obeying, Ziggy sat down on the table, setting his sword on the floor. Looking at her, he could see worry in her eyes. She seemed to be distressed, almost like many people looked before they did something stupid. “Is your husband here, I have to talk to him about his missing daughter. I am hoping to be able to return her safe and sound as soon as possible.”
Instead of calling for a man, this woman began to quiver slightly, as tears rolled down her face. “I’m Sam, and it’s my daughter who has gone missing, her father having died a couple years ago.” Sam began to cry as she gave in to the pressure that was building within her. As the words daughter hit Ziggy’s ears, he felt his heart burn for this woman. After meeting Inari, he could sympathize with a parent who lost a child. Getting up from the chair, Ziggy made his way over to Sam, and pulled her close to him. As she buried her face in his coat, he tried to sooth her.
“Don’t worry, I will get her back, I promise. All I need to know is when why and where she disappeared.” Letting go, he let Sam sit back in her chair. Her eyes were red, but she was able to control the tears that were running down her face. Wiping the tears away with his finger, Ziggy smiled. “Alright, now as soon as you answer my questions, I will get your daughter back.”
“We were walking along the outer edge of the forest, in the middle of the day. Then out of nowhere, darkness surrounded us, and when it disappeared, my daughter was gone.” The tears were once again forming in her eyes as the pain was being brought to the surface again.
Ziggy pulled her close to him, and looked her in the eyes. “I promise that I will bring her back.” It was a rare thing when Ziggy made promises that he did not know if he could keep. Something inside him forced him to promise this woman. One wrong day in the forest, and her life was torn apart. The innocence of her daughter was ripped away for no apparent reason, and that was something Ziggy would not stand for. “All I need now is to know her name.”
“Her name is Lizzy, and she is six. Before you leave, I want you to have this.” Sam, dug into her pocket, and pulled out a dagger. Handing it to Ziggy, tears began to flow from her irritated eyes. “It was all that was left when she disappeared.”
Taking the dagger, Ziggy looked down at the hilt. It had a large B engraved in it, and he recognized it immediately. It was the symbol of the Brotherhood, something that was given to all members when they registered. Anger flooded into Ziggy’s body as he slowly pocketed it. ”Why would they do something like this. We don’t even operate in Concordia anymore, has the Brotherhood changed that much since Damon left? Shaking slightly, Ziggy got up from his chair, and strapped his sword back to his side. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Heading for the door, he heard Sam get to her feet. As he opened the door, he felt her grab his hand.
“Please bring me back my Lizzy.” As she spoke, she wrapped her arms around Ziggy in a meaningful embrace.
“I will, I promise.”
Standing at the edge of Concordia brought memories flooding back to Ziggy. He had loved the forest at one time, and even called it home. He had protected it with a passion, and loved everything about it. Now, he saw the forest as death and chaos. Every story he had heard lately involved the forest, and the evils that lurked within. An innocent child was taken from her mother, and was now stranded in this very forest, with god only knows who or what. Looking over his shoulder, he took one last look at the sleeping Rasadanth before stepping into the shadows that covered the forest floor.
As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he could see each an every aspect of the forest in detail even though it was complete darkness. Creatures prowled the forest, searching for food and anything else that they need. The odd noise could be heard off in the distance, but other then that the forest was completely silent. According to Sam, her and her daughter had been walking barely inside the forest, making it the perfect place to start looking for any sign of the child.
Making his way along some of the well known paths, Ziggy knelt down to investigate minor markings, hoping it would lead him to the location of Lizzy. After a few false lead’s he came across what he assumed was where the abduction took place. A number of footprints were concentrated in this one small clearing. A mass amount of confusion could be seen in the footprints as they were disordered, and showed stumbling. However, amongst the disarray was one set of prints that were perfectly calculated, and there was no sign of any stumbling or unmeant actions. Running his finger over them, he could tell they were a man's, due to the large indent they left. He could also tell that the man was at a run, because his strides were irregular.
Getting to his feet, Ziggy looked along the path that the man had taken. To a normal person, it would appear that it was not a path at all, but a bunch of over grown foliage. However, if someone was from the Brotherhood, they would know that it was in-fact a path that leads deeper into the forest. Pushing aside the branches, Ziggy revealed the first solid lead since he had started in the forest. The path was well used, despite the fact that the Brotherhood had left months ago, leaving the hidden paths abandoned. Everything was pointing toward the Brotherhood. First the entry dagger, and now whoever was behind this was using the secret paths known only to the members of the Brotherhood.
Entering the path, Ziggy took a few steps, until he heard the sound of crunching leaves and snapping twigs. Only one thing made that much noise and that was a person trying to keep quiet. Instincts caused Ziggy’s hands to reach for his twin daggers. As his hands fell on the leather grips, something burst from the side of the path, slamming into him. As he fell to the ground, the creature was on top of him, and Ziggy realized he was dealing with a man. As the man connected a hard blow to Ziggy’s nose, the bandit felt the bone break causing blood to pour from the injury. Grunting, the rouge came back with his own fist, slamming into the temple of the man. The blow knocked the man off balance, and sent him to the ground. Jumping to his feet, Ziggy pulled free his daggers, and lunged at the stunned man. In a fluent motion, he slid one dagger across the man’s stomach, the other slit his throat. As blood flowed from him, the man fell to his back, and soon was dead.
Kneeling down, Ziggy pulled the man’s hood from covering his face. Looking for a man, Ziggy was greeted by the soft face of a woman. Her eyes looked into his with a lifeless intensity. Stunned, Ziggy stumbled back, and fell against a tree unable to accept the fact that he had just killed a woman. Stomach rolling, he approached the dead woman, and closed her eyes. In her hand was a dagger. The same dagger that was in Ziggy’s pocket, a dagger that meant she was in the Brotherhood. Unsure why she attacked him, Ziggy got to his feet. Sheathing his daggers, he could not bare to look at the lifeless body. Instead, he looked further up the path. Somewhere in the forest were his answers. Whoever was behind the operation in this forest did not want Ziggy finding out. Reaching for his nose, he snapped it back into place as tears ran down his face. Wiping the blood from his face, he prepared himself for the secrets that he did not want to uncover.
The face of the woman refused to leave Ziggy’s mind. She looked no older then he was, and yet she was now dead. He tried telling himself that she had attacked him, that it was ok that he had only defended himself. Despite all his rationalization, Ziggy could not get over the fact that he had just killed a young woman. He had been to war many times, and had killed countless people, but he had never looked into their eyes like he had just looked into hers. Something about her eyes dug into Ziggy, and would not leave his mind alone, taunting him.
Making his way along the path, Ziggy made sure he kept listening for any signs of a second attack. He had no idea how many people were in on this operation, but he did know that he would soon find out. This path led to a large clearing almost in the center of the Concordian forest. This clearing had once been used as a secret storage for the Brotherhood. It was always there incase something went wrong at the Raiders Retreat. It had weapons, supplies and anything else the bandits would need in order to survive. Now, the storage was empty of the Brotherhoods supplies. They had emptied it upon the creation of Sanctuary, where the Brothers were to turn over a new leaf.
Having traveled the path so often, Ziggy knew that he was getting close to where the clearing began. Straying from the main path, he made his way through the denser part of the forest, in order to avoid detection. Pushing through the branches and bushes, he finally reached the edge of the clearing. Looking out over the open area, he could see the storage, and torches were burning within, allowing Ziggy to see shadows moving. The warehouse was large, and it contained two floors. The storage was divided into many rooms, to ensure protection if the Brotherhood were raided. This layout would not pose a danger to Ziggy as he prepared to break in and get the answers he desired, along with the child they had stolen.
Crouching low, he made his way out into the open, making sure he was not spotted by the guard just beside the path that Ziggy had been following. Pressing his back up against the wooden wall of the fort, he slid along the wall until he reached a window. Slowly looking in, he made sure that no one was in the room. As soon as he scanned the entire room, he slid the glass window open. Lifting himself up, he swung his legs over, and crouched down low. Shutting the window behind him, he stayed motionless in the corner of the room. If these people were Brotherhood members, then they would no their way around the storage, as well as know how to defend it. Unsheathing his daggers, he pictured the layout of the warehouse, and tried to think about where they would hide the child who he assumed was in the storage to begin with. The only place he could think of was the second floor in the back room.
Getting to his feet, Ziggy tried to remember how to get to the single flight of stairs that led to the second floor. His thinking was interrupted by the sound of a door opening. The door to his room swung open, causing light to spill into the otherwise dark room. The shadow that filled the doorframe was large, and held a torch in one hand. As it saw Ziggy, it dropped the torch, causing it to slam into the ground. Instead of running to get help, the man pulled out a sword, and looked Ziggy straight in the eyes. “I’m gunna carve you up. We found the body of the woman that you killed, and we waited for you to get here. Now your trapped, and your gunna die a slow and painful death!” As the man spoke, Ziggy turned to look at the window, which was now covered by some sort of magical seal.
“Well, I guess I don’t have to be quiet anymore. Where is the girl?”
“You don’t need to be worrying about the girl. All you have to do now is hope that you die quick and easy, unlike the fate that the child you’re looking for has in store for her.” The man began to laugh at his own twisted humor. At the same time, the large man took another step into the room. Bringing his hand out from his pocket, he held the Brotherhood dagger. “You see, we have an entire army supporting us, what do you have? I’m willing to bet you came here all alone, thinking your better then what you really are. Am I right?”
“You better not lay a single hand on that child, or I swear that I will run my dagger through your heart! You may think that dagger protects you, but trust me, that army, if you want to call it that is falling apart, and they won’t be able to save you. As for coming alone, I think I can handle anyone who preys on children when they are unable to resist or mount any resistance.” Ziggy felt his blood begin to rush, as his hands clenched into tight fists. As the man laughed once again, he took another step, closing the distance to Ziggy to only a few feet. Looking the man straight in the eyes, Ziggy reached for his daggers, pulling them free from their sheath. At once, the man stopped laughing, and his face turned into a concrete wall of emotionless features.
“A man without emotions is easier to kill, then the woman who was looking into my eyes when she died.” Ziggy smiled, knowing how and when to push someone’s buttons. Soon, this man would go over the deep end, and it was at that time that he would make a mistake. Sure enough, an angry roar echoed throughout the room as the man charged headlong at the rogue. The smile faded from Ziggy’s face as he ducked under a horizontal slash aimed to take off his head. Brining his right dagger up, he stabbed it deep into the man’s gut, causing him to stumble back, ripping the dagger from Ziggy’s hand. Stumbling back, the man held the hilt of the dagger as the cold metal dug deep into his flesh. Staring at Ziggy, he winced as he ripped the blade free of his stomach. Holding up his sword, he smiled as blood began to pour from the wound.
“You may have killed me, but I’m bringing you with me!” As the man yelled, he lunged forward, a blood lust forming in his eyes. Ziggy could see the anger flowing from his eyes just like his blood was from his body. Bracing himself, he dropped his single dagger, and pulled free his titanium sword. As the metal glittered in the dull light, he held it out in front of him. As the man reached him, he attacked with a vertical slash. Bringing up his titanium sword, he caught the blade, sending a shockwave through his arms. Using his force, he fought to keep the man’s blade from reaching his face, as it was slowly being pressed closer and closer. There was a gleam in his enemy’s eyes. The same gleam that Ziggy had seen before when a man or woman thought they were winning a battle.
Sweat poured from Ziggy’s pores as the blades were mere inches away from his face. His muscles pounded as he pushed them to remain fighting. The large man was still bleeding, and it was now forming a puddle at his feet. Despite all the blood that he had lost, the man continued to fight on; using every bit of energy he had to remain on top of Ziggy. Ziggy’s mindset began to fade as his strength was running out. As he felt the edge of the sword press against his skin, he could see the look of Sam as she thought about her daughter. The look on her face as the pain stabbed at her heart caused Ziggy’s own rage to begin to flow. As he continued to see the face of Sam, his anger built until it was ready to burst.
“Face it; you’re going to die right along side of me. You can’t win; I have you an inch away from death.” As the man spoke, he smiled, and the edge of his sword slowly cut a red line into Ziggy’s forehead, causing blood to trickle down his face.
“You will never hurt another child for as long as you live!” As Ziggy let go of his anger, he pushed back against the man’s sword. Caught off guard, he stumbled back, his sword falling away from his body. Brining his own blade around, Ziggy slashed it through the man’s chest on a vertical slant. Blood sprayed from the wound, covering Ziggy’s face in his enemy’s life fluid. Watching the life fade from his eyes was easier then the woman’s. This man deserved to die, and he got what was coming. Collapsing to his knees, Ziggy felt the sword fall from his hand. As his anger faded, his strength began to run low as he continued to think about Sam and her daughter being held captive by men like this.
Feeling the throbbing in his arms fade, Ziggy slowly got back to his feet. Picking up his sword, he slid it gently back in its sheath. Grabbing his one dagger, he held it tight, looking for the other. Scanning the ground, he found it in the dead man’s hand. Smiling, Ziggy was relieved to know that he had beaten him to the draw. Prying open the man’s hand, he pulled the dagger free, wiping the blade on the man’s shirt. Sheathing the twin daggers, he looked around the small room for any sign of a door other then the one that the man had entered through. The mental map that Ziggy had been trying to reconstruct was not coming to him, causing frustration to set in. There were too many potential places for traps that he did not want to wonder around aimless.
Unable to think properly, Ziggy shook off the frustration, and calmed his mind. He had already come close to being caught off guard, it could not happen again. Making his way to the door, he listened for any sign of anyone coming near by. When there was no motion of noises, he slowly made his way out into the hall. Looking to his left, he saw nothing but a long hallway, and to his right was another door. No one must have heard the screams of the man as he died, for no one came running. Closing the door behind him, it made a soft click. The darkness would work well for the rogue as he tried to decide which way he would go in order to try and find the young child who was hidden somewhere.
Deciding to go to his right, and through the door, Ziggy stood still for a moment. As he looked at the door, he began to disappear into the shadows. As his form faded, he smiled. No one would catch him off guard as long as he avoided lights at all cost. Unsure what waited for him on the other side of the door, he made sure his daggers were loose, and ready to be pulled free of their sheaths again. Gripping the cold handle, Ziggy lightly turned to handle, before pulling it open a crack. The room was dark, and would allow him to remain hidden from site. He could here any sign of someone on the other side. Opening it the rest of the way, he quickly let go and pulled free his daggers. Holding his daggers out in front of him, he was ready to defend against anything that was planning on challenging him.
Scanning the room, he could see nothing out of the ordinary. It was completely empty, and was simply a room. The door was directly across from Ziggy, and yet he could not remember where he was. He had spent countless hours learning how to defend the warehouse, and now when it could have come in handy, he completely blanked out. Taking a step into the room, a soft click creaked under Ziggy’s foot. Taking a second step, a small slot opened in the side of the wall. Still unaware, Ziggy took yet another step into the room, when he was hit with the trap. The sound of something being shot echoed through the room, and before he could react, an arrow stabbed into his chest. Falling back, he slumped against the wall.
“Damit!” Gripping the wooden shaft, he snapped it away from his body. A sharp pounding sensation made its way out from the wound and spread throughout his chest. Wincing, he ripped his shirt, letting him see the wound. It was deep, but had missed his lungs and was digging into his flesh. The small trap slowly was hidden once again, hiding its potentially deadly secret. Cursing himself, Ziggy got to his feet, trying to get over the pain that was filling his chest. Testing his mobility, he soon realized he was not near as fast as he once was. A simple trap had gotten to him, and it could end up being the cause that ends his life. Avoiding the trap floor board, Ziggy slid along the wall, until he reached the next door. Taking a deep breath, he prepared to venture into the next trap that these thugs had set up for him.
Reaching out, Ziggy was about to grab the door, when a loud noise echoed through the room. Before Ziggy could react, he felt something dig into the back of his neck. Spinning on his heel, he could see a shadow sitting in the opposite doorway. A weapon was smoldering in his hand, and that was when it took effect. Vision swimming and numbness in his legs was the first sign. Reaching for the back of his neck, Ziggy could feel some kind of dart, pulling it free, he looked down at it. A yellow liquid coated the metal dart, and it must have been the cause for this feeling. As he fought to take a step forward, soon his entire body went rigid, and all he could do was watch him self fall to the ground.
“You should never have even come here. The child is going to die, and now that you have shown up, you are going to die along with her.” The shadow moved closer, its feet barely touching the ground. As it looked down on him, Ziggy tried to move, but the serum refused to allow him. As the shadow kneeled down, it grabbed his coat, and lifted him off the ground without even a grunt of effort. As it held him in the air, Ziggy simply looked into its eyes like a doll, being held up by its master. “Yes, after killing my son and daughter, you will make a nice offering.” The sound of smacking lips could be heard under the cloak, and then the creature began to drag him away. Unable to resist any longer, his eyes began to flutter until they closed and he fell into a silent state.
Pain shot through his muscles and bones as Ziggy was shocked by some electrical source. Eyes shooting open, he tried to move, but soon found himself chained to a wall. Fire seemed to glow in his eyes as he searched for the source of the pain. Seeing the shadowed figure, he realized the creature was really hiding under a cloak. Gritting his teeth, Ziggy tried once again to pull free of his chains, but to no avail. Giving up, he went limp, and simply looked at whatever was hidden under the hood of the cloak.
Cackling, the creatures pulled away its hood, revealing a normal looked face. Ziggy almost found himself laughing at the normal person who had managed to strike fear into him due to the unknown. However, as his smile spread across his lips, the humans face began to grow pale, and soon the skin began to fall off, leaving an undead creature staring at him, hatred for the living clear in his eyes. Then, the undead waved to the wall to both Ziggy’s left and right. Looking beside him, Ziggy found himself looking into the lifeless eyes of the young woman, and man that he had killed. A cold chill ran down his spine as he immediately turned away from the corpses.
“Welcome to the ritual. You have killed my two children, and now your flesh and blood is going to being them back to me. But, since you are not enough for two bodies, I will need another sacrifice.” Confused, Ziggy could not think straight as the smell of the undead man began to flow into his nostrils. Then, a door slowly opened, and a young child made her way into the large room. Fear shone in her eyes, like a reflection in a lake. All the pieces fell together as Ziggy looked between the dead corpses beside him, the undead man, and the young child. They were not the brotherhood, but were simply lucky enough to find some left over daggers. This undead had no use for the young child, other then as a sacrifice incase his son or daughter were taken from him.
“Let her go…” Ziggy’s voice was weak from all the sh*t he had been through so far. Looking at the undead as it wrapped a fleshy arm around the terrified child who merely whimpered in fear. Leading her closer to Ziggy, he stopped within feet of the bandit.
“I would, but I need her flesh and blood.” Before Ziggy could say another word, the man pulled a knife and held it to the child’s neck. The young girl let out a horrified scream as the cold metal pressed lightly to her skin. Looking into the madness of the undead’s eyes, Ziggy tried to keep his emotions in check. “Her blood is going to flow into the veins of my children, and then they will become just like me. Then, before you can do anything, my army will grow, and soon people everywhere will know the name Zarith and his undead minions.”
“You can kill me, but just let the child leave, her mother needs her, and she is too young.” Ziggy’s voice was filled with fear as he practically begged the undead to let the child go. Lizzy stood silent, tears streaming down her face as she remained completely still, afraid of the blade that was still pressed to her neck.
“I think not!” As Zarith yelled, he ran the blade across the young child’s neck. As it slid through, blood began to pour from the wound, and splatter landed on Ziggy’s face. Feeling the innocent child’s warm blood on his face sent Ziggy off the edge. Darkness began to move in on his mind. All his emotions vanished as his eyes turned from hazel to a perfect black. As his emotions vanished, he could feel his body changing into the kitsune form. As he changed, his wrists thinned just enough to be slipped out of the chain coughs that bound him. Blood moved from the floor into the suspended corpses, causing them to open their eyes, and fight for freedom. Looking into the horrified eyes of the dead child, Ziggy snarled.
“You sick f*ck, now your gunna rot in the pits of hell!”
“I have already been to hell, and believe me, it’s not all that it is cracked up to be.” Zarith laughed, his rotting gums displayed for Ziggy to see. As the now undead corpses on the wall continued to thrash about, Ziggy lunged for the leader. As he took only one step closer, a magical force slammed into his chest, forcing him back against the wall. Catching his breath, he could hear the menacing laugh of the undead man as he felt he had beaten the bandit. “You are a fool to even try me. I am stronger then you ever will be, and my magic will prevent you from even using your weapons.”
“Is that so?” As Ziggy spoke, a dark cloud began to swirl around him, until it filled the entire room. The darkness was so thick, that it could make a normal person feel they would see the light of day again. Thriving on this spell, Ziggy could see perfectly. So many nights in the forest had forced him to adapt to his surroundings. Gripping the twin daggers in his belt, he pulled them free, and turned on the two undead still chained to the wall. He could here Zarith cursing the spell, as he chanted various counter spells, trying to get rid of the darkness that prevented him from seeing.
Looking up at the woman he had already killed, Ziggy could see the same lifeless look in her eyes. She was moving, but it was not life, she was more of a puppet for this man. Stabbing his dagger into her throat, he felt it cutting the veins, as rotting blood poured from the new wound. The undead woman kept moving as Ziggy cut through her neck, not letting out a grunt of pain. As the blade exited, it left her head separated from its body, and finally, she remained dead. Knowing that Zarith had to be getting close to ending his spell, Ziggy pulled free his titanium sword. Moving up to the man, he swung hard, removing the man’s head from his body in a quick swipe.
As the second chained corpse stopped moving, a bright light flashed from Zarith. The darkness was replaced with white light, which quickly faded, leaving the room its dull dark it was before any of the spells took place. Looking at the dead corpses of his son and daughter, the man screamed in anger. His eyes glowing with the same intensity that Ziggy were. Gripping his sword, Ziggy smiled at the undead. “You take something from me, and I had to repay the favor.” Letting his sword rest at his side, a tense moment passed through the room. Zarith seemed to be unable to react to the horror that had just been committed against his children. Then, he smiled, his rotting teeth once again visible, as slowly he removed a purple blade from its sheath.
“You may have killed my children human, but my army will grow whether they are in it or not. This blade has the ability to weaken anything it touches to the point that it is helpless. One small cut, and the enchantment will spread through your body, leaving you open for me to turn to my army.” Zarith licked his lips as he ran his finger along the blade. “Are you still sure it was worth coming here, for this?” As he spoke, he kicked the body of Lizzy. She turned face up, he eyes staring into Ziggy’s once again.
“You F*cking right it is!” As he held his sword, his eyes continued to flash between hazel and black, until they stopped changing. Instead of the hazel that they once were, they were replaced with black. Hatred boiled within Ziggy as he thought about Sam. Then as if a giant powder keg had been set off, he lunged forward. Teeth grinding, he held his sword at his side, ready to make a clean swipe at the undead monsters neck, ending his miserable existence in one swift motion.
As he neared Zarith, Ziggy swung at the undead creature’s neck. However, as his blade cut through the air, it was blocked by some unknown force. Fighting against the barrier, Ziggy felt his arms vibrating as something began to push back. Feeling his footing slip, Ziggy gave in, allowing the invisible force to knock his blade from his hand. Defenseless, he looked into the undead’s eyes. “You already knew that I have the ability to use magic. Why do you even bother?” Zarith swung at Ziggy lazily, the purple blade slicing through the air; barely missing the bandit’s left shoulder.
“You killed and innocent child, you deserve nothing but death!” Ziggy’s words lashed out at Zarith. They had venom, which if real, would kill a full grown dragon in mere seconds. The assault only made Zarith smile wider.
“Let me ask you this. How many people do you think you have killed in cold blood, seeing as you are a member of what was once notorious to Concordia as thugs?” The undead man’s words were calm and well thought out. As Ziggy thought about what Zarith said, he felt his will power give out. The undead was right. Ziggy was no better then this undead creature before him. The though made the rogue feel as if he was going to be sick. Then as he looked down at the lifeless eyes of Lizzy, he felt something ripping him from his defeat. Looking up at the undead, he felt his eyes spewing the hatred that he felt out into the room.
“I may have murdered many people, but I never killed a defenseless child. You had no reason to kill this child as you just did! Plus, I hate my life, and now, this is where I repent for the mistakes that I have made!” Calling his halberd to him, he felt it materialize in his hands. Arms flexed, Ziggy swung his halberd towards the undead’s chest. As his serrated blades met Zarith’s, a force rippled through both the combatants arms. Grunting, he held his ground, fighting against the undead's strength. Sweat forming on his brow, he pushed harder, forcing the purple blade to slowly inch its way towards the undead's face. Feeling his force winning, he smiled pushing with all his strength.
Slowly, the purple blade cut into Zarith’s forehead. As the enchantment touched the undead’s skin, he let out a howl. Falling back, Ziggy fell forward, falling off balance. As he stumbled, he watched Zarith slow, until he moved so slow that it seemed like he was not moving at all. Regaining his balance, Ziggy looked into the cold eyes of the undead, as he raised his halberd. Lunging forward, he impaled it into the undead’s chest, pinning the creature to the wooden floor. Watching Zarith squirm made Ziggy smile; something about the bandit had changed. His once calm nature was being replaced with the need to kill anyone that wronged him or the people he loved.
Kneeling down, he picked up his titanium sword, holding it close to the undead’s neck. “I told you that you would rot in hell, and now Lizzy will have her revenge!” Drawing back his blade, he cut through the air, slicing Zarith’s head free from his body. Smiling, he felt his energy being drained. Falling to his knees, he felt his blade slip from his hand, as his body finally gave in to the need for rest. Falling to his side, he felt his eyes fluttering as they looked at Lizzy’s dead body. ”I did all I could, and yet I was still not good enough.”
Head pounding, muscles pounding, and vision blurred. This was how Ziggy was greeted as he regained consciousness. Memory fighting to remember what had happened before he had blacked out, however it could only bring up black spots. Then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw the corpse of the young child he had ventured into the forest to save. As if a dam were blown to smithereens, all his memories came flooding back. He remembered the undead sacrifice, and how he had watched the young child die. He could still see the look on her face as she realized she was going to die. The feeling of hatred also came back to the bandit, and as it did, his eyes shifted back to the empty black that they had been when he killed the undead.
Getting to his feet, Ziggy felt his muscles giving out. Ignoring them, he quickly gathered up his weapons, not wanting to stay in the old warehouse any longer then he had to. Zarith’s corpse remained on the wooden floor; his hopes for an undead army had been destroyed. Focusing on the body of Lizzy, Ziggy knelt down. Using a small cloth, he covered the gash on her neck, before picking her up. He had promised to bring her home alive, but this way, at least Sam could give her a burial. Making his way out of the warehouse, Ziggy could feel his outlook on life changing. Entering the forest, he ignored the howls of the animals as they waited for their next meal, completely entranced in his thoughts.
”Why do I even try? No matter how hard I try to help the world, some asshole decides to go and f*ck it all up. I can’t even save a child from one single undead. Now, she is dead, and her mother is going to be left without a child, that I promised that I would bring back to her. I GIVE UP, there is no point in even trying anymore, no matter how many people I try and help, they end up dieing anyways!”
Breaking through the last line of trees, Ziggy looked around the borders of Rasadanth. People eyed him up as he made his way through the town. The child was clearly dead in his arms. Some people even looked like they were ready to stop the bandit as he made his way through the streets. Whenever anyone came to close, all Ziggy would have to do was look at the person, and they would soon get out of his way. The sun was barely up when Ziggy arrived at house where he had started this entire mess. Heart pounding and lump growing in his throat, Ziggy knocked on the door lightly.
He heard the sound of hopeful footsteps as someone made their way to the door. As it slowly swung open, Ziggy was welcomed by the smiling face of Sam, which soon became distorted in anguish. Seeing the pain in her eyes, Ziggy felt a tear roll down his face. Sam opened the door, and moved out of the way, allowing Ziggy to enter the house with her dead child. As he entered, Ziggy set Lizzy on the couch, covering her with a white sheet. “I tried to save her, but I just c-c-couldn’t.” As he spoke, Ziggy’s voice became scratchy as he finally gave in to the emotions that were growing inside him. “I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry…”
Turning to leave, Ziggy felt his stomach twisting and turning, threatening to cause him to spill what little food remained onto the floor. Taking a step away, he felt something holding him back by his shoulder. Feeling the light force, he stopped, still refusing to turn around. A delicate hand slowly spun his numb body around. As he looked into her eyes, he could see the tears run down her face. Feeling the pit in his stomach expand, Ziggy bit his lower lip, fighting off the need to let his emotions out. Sitting down in the chair, Sam continued to hold Ziggy’s hand, looking up at him, searching for something to say.
“I don’t want you to leave yet. I… I want you to stay here with me.” Sam paused as she looked up at the rogue in front of her. The man that she had first met was a secure pillar of strength. He was afraid of nothing and showing only confidence in his eyes. Now, he looked defeated, the spark of life faded from his eyes. “Lizzy was the only thing I had. Please, just stay for the funeral?” Her voice was clouded by her sorrow, and her needs poured out upon Ziggy.
Taking her hand, Ziggy looked down at her. His voice was soft and sympathetic, hiding his need to let his emotions out. “I will.” Sam got up from her chair, and wrapped her arms around the rogue. Returning the hug, Ziggy felt her body pushing against him. Letting go, Sam slowly moved closer, bringing her lips closer to Ziggy’s. Longing to kiss her, Ziggy brought hid finger up to her lips. “You don’t want this; your sorrow is acting out for something to hold onto.” Looking at her, Ziggy could still see the tears that were left over from moments earlier.
“You’re wrong, it’s not my sorrow. You went to save my daughter, without even thinking about what could happen.” Pausing, she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer. “I think I’m falling for you.” As her lips touched his, they remained locked for less then a second. Pulling away, Ziggy held her shoulders, keeping her away.
“Sleep on it, and if you feel the same way tomorrow, you can say it’s not sorrow.” Sam turned away, and slowly made her way towards the stairs. Stopping, she looked over her shoulder at Ziggy, who continued to stand in the kitchen.
“It’s almost dawn, so you should get some sleep, the guest room is up here, follow me.” Making their way upstairs, Ziggy found himself craving Sam more and more. Her body was perfect in every way. He felt her curves and breasts when she held him, and it was driving him mad. As he thought about the woman ahead of him, a picture of Lizzy formed in his mind. The craving for Sam vanished, leaving Ziggy with the lifeless eyes of the child attacking him mentally.
Shutting the door behind him, Ziggy crawled into the bed that Sam had shown him. His body ached from exhaustion. Every muscle screamed for rest, and soon, sleeps grabbed hold of the bandit. Subconsciously, a battle was fought. He craved Sam, and at the same time, he could not get the image of Lizzy out of his head. In the end, he came to no conclusions, and could only hope Sam would make the right choice for both of them.
Bright light was the first thing to stir Ziggy from his sleep. As his eyes fluttered open, they stung with the sight of morning light. Stretching, he swung his legs out of the bed, and that was when he remembered where he was. Quietly, Ziggy made his way down the stairs, making sure that he didn’t cause the wooden stairs make a single creak. Rounding the corner at the bottom of the stairs, the young bandit almost ran straight into Sam as she came around the corner at the same time. Before he hit her, Ziggy sidestepped, smiling as she moved with him.
“Good morning, your lunch is on the table, and don’t worry, the funeral was this morning.” Sam tried to keep a brave face on as she thought about her daughter. Shaking her head, she led the way into the kitchen, and pulled out a chair for Ziggy to sit in.
As he sat down, he looked up at Sam, as she took the chair across from him. “I really wanted to be there for you. I know how it feels to loose someone you love.” His words brought a thankful smile to Sam as she looked down into her cup of coffee. Eating the food in front of him, Ziggy could not stand being with the woman that he had failed. Lizzy was dead, and all Sam had left were the pictures that were hung on the wall, and any toys that the young child had.
“My parents were there, and the rest of my family, there was no need for you to put yourself through being there.” Reaching across the table, she took Ziggy’s hand in hers. As she looked at him, Ziggy could feel his heart racing. Everything that he was worried about vanished, and he only thought about the beautiful woman in front of him. “It has been a while since there was a man in this house. Lizzy’s father took off after she was born, and well, you’re the first guy since then.” Sam smiled innocently, and then slowly leaned over the table.
Watching her come closer, Ziggy could smell her perfume. Something inside him kept telling him not to, but something much stronger told him to keep going. Lightly brushing the hair away from her face, Ziggy kissed her. As their lips touched, something collapsed within the rogue, and he gave into the temptation that was pulling him towards Sam. Forgetting about the food, Ziggy and Sam both stood up at the same time, and quickly made their way up the stairs and into Sam’s room.
Ziggy let his hands roam free over her body, feeling out every curve and silky smooth skin that was available to him. Laying her down on the bed, he slowly pulled off her top, and then the rest of her clothes. Looking down at the goddess, he could hardly think straight. As she kissed him again, Sam began to undo his pants, and until they began to fall to the floor. It was then that Ziggy felt something screaming out within him. “Are you sure you want this, or is there another reason?” Ziggy’s voice was soft as he continued to kiss his way to her neck.
“Yes, I want this, I need this.” Looking up at him, she smiled, and pulled him towards her.
Lying next to Sam, Ziggy ran his hand up and down her silky smooth skin. Sweat covered their bodies as he held her tight. Feeling her breathing against his chest, he let her rest her head on his chest. Soon, he could hear the soft sounds of sleep fall over her as she lay still, breathing deep. She was everything and more that he had ever expected. He wanted to stay like this forever, holding her close. As his lust subsided, his mind began to gain control over his body. Soon he began to question whether being with Sam was right or not.
She had lost a daughter, and took consolidation in the man that tried to save her daughter. Did she truly love him, or was this simply brought on by the situation, where she felt weak and exposed? Then there was the question about the other woman in Ziggy’s life. He had not seen Kit in what seemed like forever, and he still wanted to be with her and Inari. These thoughts hit him like a brick wall bringing him back to the reality which hurt him so much. When in a world of bliss, nothing could hurt him, but now he was once again left open to the cruelty of the world.
Leaning over, he kissed Sam gently on the forehead. Slipping out of the bed, he quickly pulled on his clothes, and covered the second woman in his life with a blanket. Making his way into the kitchen, he sat down at the table. Grabbing a piece of paper off the counter, he thought about how to say what he felt. Unable to put his thoughts into words, he began to write anything that came to his mind, and hoped that it made sense.
[/I]
I cannot stay here with you. We come from two different worlds, mine is full of danger, and yours is sheltered. I’m not leaving you forever, and will be back soon to make sure that you are ok. I do not regret what happened between us, but I do regret you loosing your daughter. I will always think of you, but there is also someone else in my life. I have to sort some things out, and then I will come back and hopefully to stay.
[/I]
Folding the small piece of paper, Ziggy wrote Sam’s name on the front. It was short, but that was all that Ziggy could put down on paper. His emotions were raging within him, and then when he looked up at a picture of Lizzy, it all became clear to him. No matter how hard he tried, he could not save everyone. But, if he gave up now, then he was no better then the person that committed the murder in the first place. Grabbing one of Lizzy’s old shirts, he wrapped the hilt of his daggers in the cloth. The red stood out against the metal, and was meant to remind the bandit of the innocent blood that had been spilt without reason.
Gripping the hilt, he sheathed the daggers at his side. Opening the door, he made his way out into the street with a new outlook in life. He was not meant to save everyone, but every life he saved would be a life that was not lost. Anyone who tried to take a life would feel the taste of his blade. If he saves enough lives, maybe that guilt over Lizzy’s death would fade and he would be able to forgive himself.
”I can’t save them all, but one life saved is better then an innocent life lost.
((Spoils))
Item: Red slik cloth, wrapped around the hilts of his twin daggers.
Anger: A spell that he has no control over, but after intense emotional or physical pain, his eyes shift from hazel to black. After they switch, his strength, speed, and reflexes are doulbed. He also feels little pain. However, he also has no control over his actions, and may end up killing one that he loves. This angered frenzy lasts for two posts. It can only be triggered through intense pain, as in deep cuts, or emotional scarring, loved ones death. Upraged are unavailable for this spell at least until level 7, or a second solo quest is completed entailing invancement in this skill/spell. Also may only be used once per thread.
Storm Veritas
04-11-06, 12:17 PM
JUDGMENT TIME!
Ok, a fairly straightforward quest, easy enough to read and follow, but not exactly delving deep into the creativity of the writer or the ability of the reader to follow a complex course.
Introduction - 3 - Started with a cliche beginning, and it felt extremely rushed. The tavern set is a bit tired, although I use it myself. At the same time, you have to establish a bit stronger motive for your character to risk life and limb.
Setting - 4 - You make some great attempts to bring setting into play, but don't really take the time to develop it as well as you could. Just give us a bit more detail!
Character - 4 - Ziggy is sort of the perfect hero in a lot of ways; he seems a bit too flawless, a bit too white. It mentions early that he is a scoundrel, but everything here paints him to be the paladin. Perhaps a bit more dichotomy would be helpful.
Dialogue - 4 - Some really clever lines, some interesting and funny inputs, but the dialogue also is inconsistent. Try to think about your character's emotions every time you start a new dialogue, because someone too serious at a time for joking (or vice versa) is very awkward.
Writing Style - 4 - You really need to edit these more carefully. Take the time to read the post back to yourself out loud after writing it and before submission. They are small, fixable errors that I notice the most, but they are also glaring. You can easily clean this up quite a bit into a more legible product.
Strategy - 4 - There were several times you tried to use strategy cleverly, and I admire the effort. At the same time, there were details overlooked that hurt. The footprint tracking was a perfect example. Not only did you not address the possibility that someone else had used the forest at some point aside from your trackees, but tracking basics like a runner pushing from the toe instead of the heel could have helped as well. You're close to GREAT here, but need to clear these final hurdles.
Rising Action -3- CLEARLY your weakest point here. You definitely rush into new items too quickly, and it shows that they were kind of haphazardly strewn together. Taking the time to map everything out and deliver them to the reader deliberately will definitely help you out.
Climax -5- A decent little fight with a good half twist, and I was satisfied. I just wasn't that enthralled in the first place (because of the rising action item I mentioned) but you were good here.
Conclusion -6- Although you rushed several points in the quest, I thought the resolution was satisfying. If you had paced out everything this evenly, your score would be much higher.
Wild Card -4- You're a great contributor and prolific writer, but I'd like to see a more focused effort on quality over quantity. The talent is clearly there, so really force yourself to work as hard as possible!
TOTAL SCORE - 41
SPOILS - 1738 EXP (holy high level bonus, batman!)
0 Gold, but the silk cloth is approved.
"Anger" looks fine, just include it in your next level-up.
Thoracis
04-11-06, 03:20 PM
EXP added. Woot.
Bandit, you were listed at 19k something EXP in the CP and your profile said you were about 2k above level 5... wasn't sure of the exactness of everything so I put you around 3.5k or so above level 5. Hope that works for ya.
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