[The Osiris Open] Round 2: BlackandBlueEyes vs Faith

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Round two begins at 12am EST on Saturday 25th June!

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Blood Gulch

Down in the Raiaeran valley, near the township of Ghyll, the land was depressed—scoured and washed out by the conspiring forces of gravity, water, and ice over a long period of time. The scar left behind was known by its shape and where it lay. This, though, was a valley of ashes—Blood Gulch; one of Xem’Zund’s killing fields where corrosive ash smothered the ridges and hills and created grotesque gardens of filthy, acidic black. Here, where ash destroys the forms of all those who travel through it, there is only hopelessness.

The stretch of the valley I visited was two miles long. Over a meadow that had been choked of life by a blanket of corrosive soot towered a series of rope bridges used for traversing the inhospitable terrain. Each bridge was supported by a tower, placed at equal fifty foot intervals across the valley. Below the safety of the wood and rope walkways, my weary eyes clapped onto an ocean of skeletal remains marking the rudimentary graves of the unfortunate souls that had come into contact with the legendary necromancer's magic. Meat had been stripped from bone, and even the vultures dared not venture into the cemetery below for fear of the corrosion eating away at their own flesh.

About half way between the ends of the valley, the rope bridges hastily join a tower leading to a road, so as almost to shrink away from a certain desolate area of land and return to some semblance of humanity.

As I crossed the killing fields, I shuddered at the pain that the men and women below me must have endured in their final moments.

[Faith]

She’d never tried to imagine this place before, but she’d heard of it. It was a footnote in a history book, an offhand comment in a chapter filled with reasons why magic was wrong. She’d been but a child when the Corpse War had been waged, too young to read. Now that she was a woman, it was but part of Salvar’s upheaval – the threat of the dead in the south that could have come to their war torn town at any moment.

This was different than the simple descriptions of bones and rotting flesh moving under cover of a forested path. Luca stood on one of the rope bridges, staring down at the death below. Every time the bridge swayed in the bridge she had to steel herself against the feeling that she might be pitched downward into the blackened murk. Heat wafted from below, as if the valley had only just been razed. There needn’t be any signs posted that the ground below was dangerous. Everything in her was screaming it.

What in the Sway is this place? she found herself wondering for what felt like the millionth time. First she’d gone through a door into Hell, and now she was in History. A gauntlet-clad hand gripped the thick rope to the side as she stepped back and scanned the other bridges, looking for her opponent. Her wolf-carved helm was under her arm, her spear strapped to her back.

She wouldn’t be ready if her opponent suddenly appeared before her, and her first battle told her that she needed to be ready.

With careful steps, flinching when one of the wooden planks underfoot cracked and shifted, the paladin started to make her way towards the nearest tower. Stone walls would feel safer than the trembling walkway she was on now, and height would be a better view. She’d faced a demon, what more could the infamous Citadel throw at her now?

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

It shouldn't.

But it does.

This place... It feels like home.

And it terrifies me.

But it also brings me a modicum of comfort.

Which only scares me that much more.

I know that this place is only a fabrication from the minds of the Ai'Brone monks that do the gods' work in the Citadel, a world formed from magic and memory and snippets of information gleaned from books and first-hand accounts of the few who survived on the front lines of the Corpse War. I know this to be true; and yet, I still feel this pull... I feel like in a world that has shunned me, beat me, and betrayed me at every step, I belong here.

Closing my eyes, I took in a deep breath. The stale scent of death and old magic filled my nostrils. It was a thick, acidic odor that would have repulsed anyone else. To me, it was a welcoming embrace. A sense of belonging like I've never felt before.

I exhaled deeply and brought my briar-knit hands up to my mythril face mask, removing it and strapping to my belt in a swift motion. The curve of the metal tapped against my hip as I emerged from the dark entryway of the tower.

The bright midday sun was unbearable. Its rays scorched the valley below, bleaching the bones of the dead who fell in battle years ago and glinting off the rusting metal of their armor and weapons. The bridge I stood on was suspended several hundred feet above the ash-coated ground. The wood creaked underneath with each step, threatening to break away and send me plummeting towards another fake death within the halls of the Citadel.

Each further step along the bridge was taken more carefully. Just because I knew how this place worked didn't mean that I was going to be careless.

About fifty feet before me on the bridge stood another figure--my opponent for today. She was roughly my height, with a short mop of blonde hair that swayed in the light breeze that blew through the valley. Her fierce sapphire eyes were fixed on the tower. The woman's muscular, fit frame was encased in a shell of leather and iron; the look of someone who was clearly bred for battle.

It was a refreshing change of pace after throwing bees at a twenty-foot fire demon with a whip that was the biggest metaphor for overcompensation ever.

I didn't see much here with this woman that I had to immediately be afraid of, save for the spear strapped to her back. But, I've fought against others that had a similar unassuming presence, and paid for it dearly. I'd have to keep an eye out for any sudden tricks.

Amber light flashed from my eyes, illuminating the black edges of my hood. My face twisted into a gnarled, sharpened grin. "Well, hello there," I called out to her as I took a step closer.

[Faith]

She jumped a little. The sound of the wind rushing through the rope and the gentle thud of wooden planks clapping together as they swayed had obscured the sound of her opponents footsteps.

Not that the creature necessarily would make any.

Luca’s first fight in the Citadel had been against a demon, and it looked like this one was no different. A warm glow from beneath a hood said little of humanity, even if the words came from a silken voice or a woman’s form. Her right hand snaked around to grasp her spear at the small of her back, not removing it yet.

“Hullo.” She answered. The Salvarian child was polite, but too honest. Baby blues narrowed as she tried to peer past the darkness of the hood, the quick glance down Madison’s body hesitated in all the spots weaponry might normally hang. Guarded. Assuming. And gaining no answers. After a moment she twitched her wrist to release the spear, holding it still behind her back.

She was ready, though she dare not take a breath for the acid below.

“I’m Luca Sunbringer, m’lady.” She added. Her voice only cracked a little on the last word. There was something wholly unladylike just waiting in the darkness under the hood. What was the passage of the Sway that talked about the glow of the faith? The Light within becomes Light without, a beauty that darkness cannot touch.

She said her prayers before she’d stepped in this room. Now it was time to see if her Light could stave the darkness of Madison Freebird.

[BlackAndBlueEyes]

Sorry this took so long, Manda :(

The way she tentatively reached for the spear strapped to her back. The way her voice cracked when she introduced herself. The way she pivoted herself on the bridge, ready to defend herself in a moment's notice while trying not to fall between the rotting wooden slats.

I hadn't so much as sneezed yet, and she was already afraid.

This was going to be so much fun.

A dead breeze blew over the valley, ruffling the black edges of my hood. "Madison. Madison Freebird. Pleasure to meet you, Luca," I cooed at the girl as my smile grew from vicious to bloodthirsty. With a gnarled, vine-woven hand, I reached up and slowly pulled the hood back and let it fall across my shoulders.

I let her take in my horrible visage. I needed to capitalize on her fear. My four eyes flared in anticipation of the coming bloodshed. "Shall we begin?"

The vines of my body shifted, pushing a sharp object through my chest and up through my neck. A shard of Cillu glass, roughly six inches in length and sharp as hell, seemingly grew from my collarbone. I reached up with my right hand, a length of vine emerging from my wrist and wrapping itself around the "hilt" of the translucent dagger. The edges nicked my skin as I pulled it out of my body, but they'd heal up in no time.

With a primal scream, I whipped around, swinging the impromptu lash in a wild arc across the top of the bridge, the razor edge of the glass heading straight for her neck.

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

Judgment

Combat

Faith: 2 / 30

Given the length of the battle I have allowed you some credit for strategy as Luca at least ensured she was ready for any incoming assault by keeping a grip on her spear behind her back. Unfortunately, the two posts you managed yielded little in terms of actual combat and therefore I was unable to award you further points. This is a shame, as I believe that you would have performed well in this area if you had participated fully.


BlackandBlueEyes: 10/ 30

Your own two posts were a polar opposite of Faith’s in terms of content in this category and provided me with enough to award you a few points. Your second post alluded to Luca showing fear towards Madison and you expanded upon this by at least attempting to grow and nurture that fear to your advantage. Obviously we weren’t able to get a confirmatory post of this fear from Faith showing that this strategy was working but seeing as I already don’t have a lot to go on, I believe you deserve the credit here for your line of thinking.

Sadly, just as above, the battle didn’t continue long enough for you to get foundations for a good score in resourcefulness. Madison didn’t really utilise any of the setting in the battle itself which hurt your score, but given a bit more time I’m sure you would have given me more to work with, so you are quite unfortunate here. I could have foreseen her using that glass to cut the ropes of the bridge.

I also awarded you points here for the one attack you mustered before time ran out. It was a vicious, somewhat crude assault that was somewhat basic in its execution but nonetheless a signal of your intentions.


Character

Faith: 15 / 30

Due to the length of the battle, there was very little time for any actual communication. There were flecks of internal thought and dialogue which helped the reader to settle into Luca’s persona, but only a few and certainly not enough to score anything more than average in this department.

I felt that action followed much the same path as communication. Whilst there was nothing inappropriate to Luca’s character, we never got to see much more than her gripping her spear and trying not to take a breath of the acidic fumes rising from below.

Luca’s persona stood out the most for you in your writing here. It was quite clear that she felt enveloped by both the arena and Madison’s intimidating presence and you really did quite well in putting those across, showing the reader that Luca could feel fear but would also stand up to that fear as well.


BlackandBlueEyes: 20 / 30

I felt that you did an excellent job in relating Madison’s thoughts to the reader. You provide short, occasional and appropriate insights into the dark, almost twisted thought processes in Madison’s mind and communicated her feelings and reactions well. Whilst effective, it would however have been nice to see more of the wit and external dialogue we know she is capable of, instead of the “Well, hello there” which seemed a bit out of place.

I felt Madison’s actions, though limited to the time frame of the battle, were also superb and really gave the reader a feel for what type of character she is. There was nothing generic or lazy about her – even your first and only attack, though a basic slash, was infused with those dark, grungy elements of her personality in both the intended target area (the throat) and the weapon used (glass).

Prose


Faith: 25 / 30

I felt that you got the mechanics in this thread absolutely spot on, and I simply couldn’t fault you and have nothing further to add on that.

Your technique was also good and you use description well throughout your posts to add splashes of colour to your work (Every time the bridge swayed in the bridge she had to steel herself against the feeling that she might be pitched downward into the blackened murk. Heat wafted from below, as if the valley had only just been razed. There needn’t be any signs posted that the ground below was dangerous. Everything in her was screaming it.”). However, this being said, I felt your posts were just a little too short. I would have liked to have had more from you in this respect, because I felt hungry for more than you offered up.

My final note is on your clarity. There were no issues at all with this, mostly because there was really nothing convoluted or extravagant in your posts. You did very well at keeping your posts simple and effective, for what content there was available.


BlackandBlueEyes: 27 / 30

Mechanically, your posts were superb and I am compelled to give you a perfect score in this category as a result without the need for further comment.

Your technique is excellent. Your use of your own literary devices to paint a picture of a dark, almost damaged Madison are sublime even just for two posts of content and I especially like the way that you linked the battlefield to Madison’s own feelings on the Corpse War. Your description was well done (“The stale scent of death and old magic filled my nostrils. It was a thick, acidic odor that would have repulsed anyone else. To me, it was a welcoming embrace. A sense of belonging like I've never felt before.”) and you consistently put power into your words and offered insight into the bleak world Madison seems to live in, pulling the reader in at all times.

One of your strengths is your clarity, which, again, has scored you highly. I don’t have much more to add on this area other than well done.


Wildcard

Faith: 5
BlackandBlueEyes: 5

I am absolutely gutted we didn’t get the opportunity to see this battle in its entirety. You are both excellent writers and although BlackandBlueEyes has won this particular battle due to his quick and meticulous start, I am sure Faith would have started shifting through the gears later on to challenge that.


Final scores and rewards

Faith: 47/100
BlackandBlueEyes: 62/100

BlackandBlueEyes advances!

In accordance with Osiris Open rubric, both contestants receive rewards based on a score of 65. Faith's GP is forfeited to the tournament pot!

Faith receives 195 EXP and forfeits 30 GP to the tournament pot!

BlackandBlueEyes receives 385 EXP and 30 GP!

Congratulations!

[Shinsou Vaan Osiris]

All rewards have been added!