7 Days

[Ascelia]

((solo))

A merchant has just recently arrived in town as Ascelia was trying to get into the front gates. "Nobody is allowed in huh?" she said to the large guard stopping her. "So, if nobody is nobdoy, why was he able to pass?" she protested him stopping her. Placing her hands on her hips she gave him a disgusting look, and stormed passed him. The defense of her stunned him. He was easily two feet taller and at least a hundred pounds heavier, yet she still overpowered him.

Grunting and muttering words under her breathe Ascelia continued into the town. The merchant was now gone, but the conversation of it all wasn't. Along the trading alley, which was as busy as most others. Venders selling all sorts of items. Each one with there own small booth, and their "special" lines to lure you in. But along the way, the conversation of the returning merchant was the only thing going around.

"And he thought he could do it? No one has been able to open the trading route. Along the path, many monsterous things live. Death is what a person gets when travelling those roads." one merchant was telling another. But Ascelia was drawn in yet again by her curiosity.

Wondering over to the two talking merchants, she made herself well apart of the conversation. "So what are these monsters along those roads?" she asked them, trying to hide that she was an adventurer.

"No one really knows. Survivors say that everything happened to fast for them to tell what happened. Only a few have been able to make it all the way across. It's a week stretch between here and the next town, but no trading routes have ever been found. The last guy to try it, went yesterday, and just returned. Guess he though he could make it!" the two merchants laughed at that face.

Ascelia was confused now. What was so bad about him attempting to make it across? Well whatever it was she wanted to know. So, the look for the merchant began. Across this street though, everything looked the same.

"Look for a large wagon. Pulled by two horses, with red manes. A purple clothes was spread across the top roof of it, and the driver had a large black cloak."

Weaving in and out of the crowds Ascelia bobbed up and down trying to get a glimpse of the wagon. Though it didn't come into sight, she did hear a conversation which caught her attention. "You didn't get to hurt did you?" a female voice asked. It was young, probably less then ten winters. Heading towards the voice, she could now see the merchanct and a young girl.

"No, I'm ok. But, I'm going to try it again. Just so you know." he said, with a sad look on his face. He gave the young girl a hug and then looked up, to see Ascelia.

With a nervous chuckle, she tried to walk away, but was immediatly called back. "Wait!" his voice came, it was calm, but still, it stopped her. "Your an adventurer right? Please help me. The rewards will be great. I promise you." he said.

How could she refuse. He was doing this for his younger sister it seemed. "It's a week there and back." she started. "Two weeks total. Two hundred gold, and if something is of use to me, I will take that too." she didn't want to go over board and rob them of all their money.

But he was quick to agree. Ascelia turned around, and shook hands. "Ascelia," she introduced herself as. And he introduced himself as Ivellios, and his younger sister Pop, it was her nickname for how poppy she was.

[Ascelia]

A few hours later Ascelia returned to Ivellios' place. He was just getting the horses saddled up as she stepped through the large wood doors to the stable. He looked up from his job and smiled towards her, then went right back to getting both horses saddled up. The cart was already filled with the shipment of goods, so now that both were ready, they would leave for the next town.

The cart was old, and bounced as it went along with stone path. With Ivellios steering, and Ascelia standing on top as a scout, both neared the gate. Slowly, it started to open, and as the got closer they just fit through the double doors. Giving the guard a dirty look, Ascelia went back to facing forward. The doors were heard creaking shut as both bounced along.

The balance was hard for Ascelia at times, but she somehow managed to stay standing the entire time. Slowly, a vast ditch formed a few miles ahead of them. On either side of the path, the hill rose to stand about fifty feet. The slant was quiet steep, and would take quiet a while to get up. Though getting down would be very easy.

"Whoa boy..." Ivellios cried to his horses. As the wagon started to slow, Ascelia hopped down to sit next to him. Staring at him with furious eyes, she wanted this job done, so why waste time?

"Why are we stopping?" she asked, trying to stay calm, but some of her anger did show through.

"I gotta tell you about this place." he said, staring back at her, though his eyes and voice were quiet calm. "Just about those hill up there, on both sides, is are forests. That's were I got ambushed. I don't know what is there, but something will be waiting." he said, moving his hands around to point out the places he ment. With a quick yelp from him, the horses started up again, as the wagon started moving.

"I'll be on look out then." she said, pulling herself back up to the top of the wagon. Looking about now, an arrow was ready to be launched at anything that moves to attack them.

This time, the wagon slowed, but did not stop. Over the hill, was the unknown. But something was there to stop them. As Ascelia was lokoing up one side, the sound of falling rocks caught her attention from the other side. Looking over, a few shadowy figures disappeared. Then came laughs from all sides, echoeing from every direction, childlike, they lingered, almost never ending.

Ascelia was frantic. For the first time, she was the one scared. What was this? Some kind of game? An arrow knocked, pulled back until she was shaking holding it back, it slipped and flung itself over th hill. A shrill cry was heard, and the laughing stopped.

Without thinking twice, she had another arrow knocked, this time, waiting for what was coming.

[Ascelia]

For the first time, somebody now knew what attacked merchants in this area. A small army of kobolds came out, standing at the ledge of the hill. All laughing, each with their own devilish face. A few of them ran down one side of the hill.

Ascelia let her arrow fly, easily knocking one down. The arrow flew right through the pathetic creature, so easily destroyed, she almost felt a bit of pity for it. It fell dead, then skipped down the hill, head over heels. It's body even more broken everytime it his the ground. By the time it stopped it went from a two foot creature, to a ball of mush.

Ascelia flung her bow onto her back again, and drew her long sword from her side. She tried to run up the hill in barbarians rage, but too soon, fell and slid back to the bottom. Again, all the kobolds laughed. With every step the kobolds took, she just got more angry. These were pathetic creatures, having to attack in great numbers to get anything accomplished. Before long though, a few of the kobold reached the bottom.

Ivellios was left alone on the cart now. But while he was watching Ascelia, from the other side, kobolds had snuck down. With a small axe, nothing more then something to cut wood with, they started to hack at the wheels. A few hits, and the cart fell sideways. Only with three wheels, the kobolds laughed again. They laughed at everything, things they did, or things others did. But this was starting to get both Ascelia and Ivellios irritated.

Ascelia, still in her rage at the pathetic things they were, swung her sword around, easily taking two kobolds out with it. One somehow got in close with it small lance, and stabbed her. A flinch of pain, and welling anger, Ascelia put her one hand up, while defending herself with her other. The shadows of the kobolds left their body, and formed a ball in Ascelia's hand.

She laughed, much like the kobolds did, then released it at one of them. His body, so small and fragile, couldn't handle the power. It fell to the ground, twitching, as his body was covered in shadows. Soon, it lay still, dead.

Just after that, all of the kobolds stopped, laughing, moving, everything. Still with her sword out, a blast came, and all the kobolds screamed, running up the hill. Another blast came, this time, at the top of the hill. It sent a shower of rocks, dirt, and bits of those creatures all around, and left a fairly large hole at the top.

Ascelia looked around, and to her surprise, a form of allies.

[Ascelia]

A few men and women were running towards them, each one holding a bow. But Ascelia was confused. If they were only using bows, where did those explosion come from? But she was happy to see them. If anymore had come running down that hill, she would've been overwhelmed.

"Are you ok?" one asked, still running towards the two of them. "I see they are still there..." the person added again.

Soon, Ascelia and Ivellios were surrounded with allies. A few of them were merchants, others adventure's just like Ascelia. "Must be hired as well...should I ask about what happened?" Ascelia thought to herself, but didn't. "Thanks, I don't think either of us would've made it if it weren't for you." she said.

"Oh your wounded," one said, looking at Ascelia's side. "I got yah there," he said, showing her his side, with a similar mark. "Just lift up, and I'll patch you up," he added, pulling some gauze from his pocket. Ascelia hesitated for a moment, but then did ask he told. Pressing the gauze to her side, he started to talk to her, he seemed like the leader of this small group, "I'll completly fix it up when we get back to camp." he said, pointing ahead on the road.

Together, everyone pushed and pulled the broken cart ahead the road. Nothing else seemed to attack them that day, and it was lucky for them, since they were all busy with the cart.

Ascelia looked into the sky, it was already sunset. The sun was just starting to set as they reached the groups camp. It was set in a small area off the side of the main road. Something like a ditch was all they could get. But everything was 'home' to them. They travelled alot, so anything was good.

Ascelia sat by the fire, as the leader of the group went into a nearby tent and came out holding a canister. Sitting next to her, Ascelia took off her coat, and lifted her armor up. "This is gonna take some stitches." he said, pulling up the needle and thread. Every stitch he put in, Ascelia flinched a bit, until he was finally done. Immediatly, Ascelia put back on her coat, and stood up.

"What did you use earlier?" she asked eruptly. "The things that exploded?" she added after. Ascelia wanted to know what kind of powers these few had. The group called themselves mercenaries, but to her the seemed more like guardians.

"You see the big man back there?" he said, pointing towards the cart. "He's a blacksmith, but he modifies equipment for a heafty price. But he's a life friend of ours, so, he doesn't make us pay." Ascelia looked at the man, he seemed to big to do small items though, so she looked at the leader out of confusion. "His name is Aruck. He modified our arrows by carving out the center shaft, and filling it with gun powder. We light the arrow head, using gasoline, or anything flamable, and then shoot them. The arrows explode, since they're fragile, and then the fire makes it explode. Simple things go a long way." he said smiling. He got up and walked away, to check on the cart's work.

"No, what's inside isn't your business." Ivellios said. "I'm just a merchant selling the basics. Only weapons and armor, and I'm sure you all know what that looks like."

Although she heard all the fighting, she didn't pay attention to it. Ascelia wasn't feel well now. The smell now really kicked in. She was just breathing in gunpowder, and now that she realized it, she started going light headed. She got up, and walked to a tent that was empty. Laying on the floor, she soon fell alseep.

[Ascelia]

She woke up, sweating. Her dream just kept repeating itself. It was her attacking those kobolds, then getting overwhelmed, just slowly being killed by being poked with their little weapons, or she was being shot with one of those exploding arrows.

Wondering out of the tent she was in, everyone was sleeping. All of them seemed to have just fallen over. They were sleeping in weird areas, none of them in a tent, they must've just crashed where ever they were. B ut now Ascelia would have a chance to get something out of this quest when just gold.

Wondering, she checked every tent, until she found the one Aruck used. Many weapons littered the ground, nothing better then what she used. Except for a load of the arrows she had heard about. Her quiver was getting used up more quickly then she thought, so she grabbed a few of them for herself.

Suddenly, the tent lit up, as the sun lifted itself over the hill. She ran to get out of the tent, and as she did, everyone outside seemed to stretch and wake up. She placed herself back to where she fell alseep, slipping those arrows into her quiver. She walked out again, pretending to stretch and yawn.

Everyone greeted her, as she did, so she headed over to the fire. Everyone was in such a good mood, and breakfast was full of happy conversations. But all was about to end. Ascelia and Iveillios had to carry one with getting this cart to the other side of the ridge.

Soon, both were bouncing along. They waved and said their goodbyes, and as the minutes rolled on, the camp became smaller and smaller until it couldn't been seen anymore. Now it was just Ascelia and Ivellios again. And the quest was only half way done now.

[Ascelia]

That day, it was a simple journey. Nothing came towards them, only things running away. Small woodland creatures stood on the roadside, and would scurry away, or sit and watch them as they passed. These were the only things they saw that day.

Ascelia did stand watch for a few hours, and when everything was quiet, she would hop down, and talk with Ivellios. They had come quiet a way together, and they were just staring to get to know each other. Since it was only the two of them after all.

"So, why is you are trying to get to the other side of this valley? Has anyone even been able to get across yet?" Ascelia asked him, hopping down from the top of the cart to sit next to him.

"I need to watch out for my little sister." he said, looking away from her to loook at the baby blue sky. Another cloud rolled over the sun, giving them some shade in the afternoon sun. "She's all that's left from my family, and I need to support her somehow. This is what my dad left me, so it's the only way I can make some money." he ended his sentence by snapping the reigns and making the horses speed up a little.

"I see..." Ascelia said softly, this time it was her who looked up and into the sky. Somehow, a picture of her homeland was drawn upon the clouds as they slowly slide across the sky. "You see, I left my home, my parents, and everything. So it's not like a have a reason for doing anything." Ascelia was a renegade. She took off from home, leaving everything behind her.

The next few hours were spent in silence. The horses would make the only sounds. The sound of their feet hitting the ground, the whinnies they made, and of course, the rickety sounds of the wagon rolling over dirt. The horses slowed again, but this time stopped. "They seem tired." Ivellios said, getting the cart.

He untied both horses from the wagon, and let them roam. Pushing the cart over to the side, he let his horses go free, to eat and drink and to relax. They both had put in alot of effort during teh last fews days, so letting them go for a few hours would be best. And since it was already late in the afternoon, both Ascelia and Ivellios decided it would be best to spent the night here.

"So, did your dad leave those two as well?" Ascelia asked, trying to start a conversation. The horses were beautiful. There red manes is what gave them the distinction between all other horses. Somehow they seemed to stay nice combed, no matter what they did. They did everything together, as a pair. Both of them were now laying under a tree, sleeping peacefully.

"No. A few days after my mother and father passed away, I found them in ourt feilds. So I took them in." he said, looking over his shoulder's at them. "I named them after my parents, since one is a male and the other female," he shrugged, "It's kind of like a memory of them."

Ascelia stood up and apoligized, then left to grab some more firewood for the fire. When she returned, Ivellios was sleeping. The fire was almost dead, but she still managed to get her logs burning. The fire kept her warm, as she too, fell alseep.

[Ascelia]

By the time she had woken up, Ivellios had everything ready. The horses were already tied to the cart, and ready for another days work, the fire was out, food was packed up, everything was already done, and Ascelia didn't have to do a thing.

With a nervous smiled, Ivellios stopped and looked at her, "Sorry to wake you. I couldn't sleep," and with that he went back to work. Now that the horses had a good nights rest, they were easger to get going again. They even started to walk before either Ascelia or Ivellios told them to.

They laughed and ran to catch up with them, and had to throw themselves onto the seat and pull themselves up the rest of the way. So far, the day was great, with an earlier start, and still more beautiful weather. Hopefully today would be much like the day before.

Full of laughs and happy conversation. A good day to travel and rest. To feel the cool breeze across the face. And to have a good friend sit next to you every step of the way.

"So, what kind of stuff are you transporting in there?" Ascelia asked, pointing to the back cart, which held everything. Though she was never told about it, which always isn't a good idea, she had never thought to ask about it until now.

"Um..." he stuttered, "Well, the basics. I guess. Spices, weapons, armor, resources, just those kinds of things," he was finally able to say.

Ascelia nodded, just trying to get another topic going, she pointed to the sky. "You ever try to find shapes in the clouds before?" she asked. Now she was just sounding childish.

"Yeah. I still do sometimes. Like there..." he said, lifting his head up to stare at the sky, "that's a duck." he said, pointing. He laughed a bit, now both were acting like children. Myabe it was, staying with the same person, brought back memories from so long ago.

A few hours passed before both were hungry. They stopped off to the side, and made a small meal. Bread was shared, some meat and cheese. A waterskin ful of water went between the two of them before they were finally done. With full stomachs, both got back up, and started again.

They day wore on, slowly. A grunt from ahead, sent both people onto the defensive. Ascelia looked towards Ivellios, and then jumped off the seat, and towards the wall of the hill. Nearing the bend, and peeped her head out. Two centaurs were standing, arguing with each other.

"There's no reason to be here," one started, "No one ever comes out here. Those kobolds always get them."

"Yes but, at least this way, if somebody does, we'll get a lot of money from them. Only the most worthy adventurers would be able to get by them." the other said, with a sort of whinny laugh.

Ascelia motioned for Ivellios to follow and he did. As they neared the two centaurs, they both turned to look at them. Luckily for Ascelia's elf ears, she could hear what was being said, "Told you we'll earn lots of money." Ascelia laughed when she heard that.

"What's so funny?" one said. It was hard to tell what one wanted to be there, since they looked almost identicle. Both had brown horse bottoms, except one was blonde with shorter hair, and the other blonde long hair.

"The fact were not paying." Ascelia said as she walked forwards. Both took a step back in disrespect. "Um...would you care to move?" she asked, putting her hand on her sword hilt. "I don't want to make you two pay to let you live." she said, now unseathing a few inches of the blade.

Looking at each other, the centaurs nodded. One rushed forward, and after a few steps, the other started. Both charging fully force for her.

[Ascelia]

They drew closer at an alarming rate. Ascelia let her hand fly, drawing her sword she moved to the side, and whipped it in low. Hitting one of them in legs, it tripped and fell to the ground. Sliding it hit a stone near the base of the hill and knocked itself out.

The other, came in a few seconds later, and just punched her in the head. The simple move knocked her over. It was hard for her to see. The blow came in hard, and fast with the amount of speed it had gathered.

"You will fear me. Gothog. I will be in your nightmares!" his body lifted, bring him to stand at least eight feet tall. With a thunderous stomp, he lands back on all fours.

Ascelia dug her sword into the earth, using it to keep her balance. Her eyes were still trying to focus, and now, she had a throbbing headache. Bringing her sword back up, she to yelled fierce words towards him, "Gothog will be in my nightmares. And they will be about how easily I defeated you!"

He got mad at these words. A rage filled his body, and he charged in, just like the first time. Just before he had got to her, Ascelia quickly pulled out a normal arow from her quiver, and jumped back. As he passed her, she stabbed it into his side.

A yelp in pain escaped his mouth, and Ascelia smiled, satisfied. He came at her again, and she just moved. This kept going for about a minute before he finally drew his weapon. A longsword, which had a blue tint in the sun. He came at her, swinging it. He moved too fast for her, and got her arm when she went to defend the blow. Running around her in a large oval, he kept swinging, and kept on hitting. He was too quick now that his sword had come into play.

Ascelia had a plan. She took off her coat, and held it in one hand. When he came around this time, she threw it infront of him, and when he hit it, and wound around his neck. She grabbed the loose side of the coat with her other hand, and climbed up and onto the back of the centaur. He was furious with her now.

He stopped running and started to buck. Though she was able to hold on, she could feel her hands now starting to slip. She pulled herself up some more, and warpped his arms around his neck.

Soon, full of his rage, his face slowly started to turn purple. Just trying to get her off, he didn't care about his lack of oxygen. After all it was disrespectful to ride a centuar.

Before long, Ascelia had knocked him out, just the same as his brother. And soon, the two of them were on the road again. Ascelia patched her wounds with whatever they had, and put her coat back on. Luckily all those sword cuts weren't to severe since he was higher then her.

[Ascelia]

Finally, the front gates of the town rose from the horizon. The large stone walls were all they could see from here. "Finally!" Ivellios screamed out, and jumped over and gave Ascelia a big hug, she was also happy and returned it.

The bounced along, getting the cart to go faster so they could be there faster. Finally the horses slowed as the gates quickly rose up infront of them. "State your business!" a guard called from atop of the huge stone wall.

"I'm here to deliver a package to the lady known as Atuar." Ivellios answered. As he did the gates creeked, a blast of dust came from the door as it opened, showing it was not used often. When the old door was finally finished opening, the wagon started to bounce again until they were in a bustling town.

Most of people here seemed to be an odd bunch. The insane wondered the streets, while theives stole gold pouches in borad daylight. This town was so rundown, Ascelia was worried she be robbed next. But soon, the brighter side of the town came. Though it wasn't much better then the otherside, the buildings were better maintained, and in the center stood an arena.

The drew closer to the arena, which was the largest area in town. Obvious this place was a town of theives. Betting on people soon to die, to see who would live the longest. No wonder the valley was so unprotected. But maybe other merchants had travelled across here, just didn't want a good trade route with such a dirty town.

A female, dressed in designer wear was standing at the entrance to the arena, but this was the back entrance.

"I see you've made it with little damage," she said as they approached. "You did remember it, didn't you?" she asked, pointing towards them.

"Of course. You have my gold don't you?" he said, stopping the cart fifteen feet from her. She held her hand out with a large sack in it.

"I'm sure this is satisfactory?" she said. Tossing the gold infront of her. Both people then exchanged places, and walked away. She opened the door, and almost fell over. "Didn't you inject it every morning?" she screamed, pointing inside.

"Yes, I wouldn't risk my own life for you." he said, picking up his gold, and walking towards Ascelia, who was left confused. "Here," he said, pulling out a handleful of gold coins. "This is your payment."

"Uh...ok..." she stuttered. Ascelia wanted to know what was in that cart now. And why they were at the arena delivering it. So, she headed over to the door, where Atuar was. Looking inside, was a werewolf, trapped inside a cage.

"Holy! When did we get this? Oh! Wait! He had to inject it every morning. But..I was with him the whole time. When did h... Dammit! That no good sneaky bastard! He was up every morning earlier then me!" Ascelia wanted to just kill him then and there. She was furious, she headed over to him.

"What is that?" she damanded, giving him an open handed slap across the face.

"Well...that would be an old friend of mine. He was a werewolf, and when he killed my, I trapped him in that form." he said, placing a hand on his cheek. "And so, after I forgave him, I brough him here. If he wins this tournament, they'll change him back into a human."

[Ascelia]

After his explanation, she was a little less confused. "Here, we'll go watch what happens," he said, heading towards the front entrance of the arena. The line up was already quiet long, but both just walked through the front gates.

Walking straight towards the front seats, they sat down. As the arena filled with some important people, and some sleezy peasants, a person sat high up, using a hollowed out tree stump as a microphone. "Listen up. Today we have a special tournament. Today, we will place this werewolf against a couple of monsters, and if it manages to win, we will be giving him back his humanity. Let's watch and see what happens!" he said, before he sat back down.

Suddenly two gates opened. Out of one, stepped out the werewolf, and out of the other one, Atuar. As soon as the werewolf saw her, he went in for the attacks. Luckily for him, spending so much time in his hybrid form, he learned many things.

He soon had the advantage over her, and it was long before he was able to finish her off. She was dead. Ripped apart, in the most brutal of ways. Why they placed her against him, was something she would never figure out, but at least the people of the town were able to keep their words.

After the ten minute fight, the young werewolf was returned to his human form, and treated for his injuries.

Ascelia and Ivellios were at least able to keep their friendship, but the two parted ways in this town. He headed back for Pop, and Ascelia kept heading forward in her journey of life.

[Ascelia]

The way back wasn't hard for him. Since everyone who saw him coming now, stepped back, just in case she was there. The centaurs had both regained consiousness, and stepped back, bowing to show the resepct of defeated.

The days wore on for him, long and boring. He had no one to talk to, but Ivellios couldn't wait to return home for Pop. His only sister, and his whole world. All combined to give him something to risk everything for.

A few days into the journey home, he came across the encampment of people. But all the tents were torn down, and the camp itself was a complete mess. Stopping the wagon, he walked over to the side, looking for someone. The only one left somewhat alive was Aruck, the large blacksmith.

"Don't come near me..." he said, then spit up some blood. "It won't be worth it anymore..." he coughed, and then spit up even more blood.

Ivellios paid no head to man's words, and ran over to him. Grabbing anything he could, he tried to treat the wounds he had come across. "If your here, just kill yourself now..." with a last great heave, the man choked and went into shook. Shaking, blood from his mouth went every where. He died after he stopped moving.

Ivellios whiped himself off, but found himself to go into the same state as Aruck. But when he was done, he only felt throbs of pain every so often. He hurried to his wagon, and got on. Falling over, he got his horses moving, at a quick pace. The rest of the way home, he rose the back of the wagon unconsious.

[Storm Veritas]

Not a bad first effort, you show a lot of promise and could develop into a terrific Althanian! I must suggest very strongly that you work with other people here, get into some larger quests. You'll learn a good deal, and people can use a bright young adventurer like yourself to create some ideas with. Scara Brae may be a good fit for the ropes, getting a handle of this place. It was a sad day for me to leave it.

Introduction - 5 A pretty good opening post. Not a ton of detail, which isn't a problem. You started pretty strong, which I think shows a lot of potential in you.
Setting - 3 I think you can do a better job setting the stage for us. Let us really get a feel for what's going on, where you are, and what you see, hear, and feel as Ascelia. For example, what the hell is a Kobold? You need to take the chance to explain these things to the reader.
Character - 4 Not bad, but you can improve here. Give us more emotion and less "physical" feeling. I know what hurts, but why does it hurt, and how are you affected?
Dialogue - 5 Effective, if a bit bland. I'm not really too moved with or against your dialogue. Definite building block here, something that shows you know what you're doing.
Rising Action - 2 One of your weak points. Don't just jump around so much. Take the opportunity to build suspense in your posts - the story is built on drama and suspense, not raw action. I think writing with other Althanians will really help you here.
Climax - 3 Again, there isn't a lot there, because it wasn't that well definied, and the structure didn't build enough. You're not bad, but you show that you can be better.
Conclusion - 2 See Rising Action. You really can structure this out more effectively, so you can grab the reader and make them care more about what happens.
Strategy - 6 Your thought process is actually pretty good, and there is some decent structure to your quest. There was definitely thought put in. Just work to create more balance, and you'll be in great shape.
Writing Style - 3 Again, there is good and bad here. For a first timer, I'd consider this very good. It just needs a little polish. You really need to reread and edit your posts; there are a number of typos, including the entire last post in boldface.
Wild Card - 5 A very solid entrance, something that shows you'll be a good contributor. Welcome to Althanas!

Total Score - 38
EXP - 387 points