santaru

[Santaru Yoshimori]

Name: Santaru
Age: 20
Race: lightning elemental
Hair Color: black
Eye Color: blood red
Height: 6’10”
Weight:150 lbs.
Occupation: storm maker

Personality: aggressive, hot headed, short tempered, has unique morals, angered easily.

Appearance: his tattoos are always glowing whitish yellow always wearing black robes has a long scar on his face from a sword made of rock. He resembles somewhat a malevolent demon jet black wavy hair that reached his shoulders.

History: During the last great war between the lightning elementals and the rock elementals Santaru was fighting the rock elemental lord and he got the long gash on his face he was lucky enough that was the only scar he had gotten during that war for he lost many men. After the war he had found a lost lightning wolf who he named sakujima after a few more years every thing he knew was turned upside down as he found out he was no longer aloud in his village in the clouds for some crazy reason and that which he swore revenge on his entire village and about three years later he came back with a huge army and completely demolished his village and every one in it.

Skills: can summon a sword for the heavens which has nothing very unigue other than an eirri glow coming from the blade, can control lightning is produced from his hand and can cause minamal paralisis and storms are affected in a way that he can creat a light to medium rain, he can use basic magic that is in the areas of fire, wind, light, dark, healing, and a very small amount of rock like magic but he is strong in lightning magic.all of his magic can cause minmal damage at low levels but trhe higher they get the stronger they become the same goes for the healing but it can heal minmaml damage at low levels and can cause holy damage to all of a dark oragin meaning vampires and werewol;ves and things along those lines.

Equipment: a katana embedded with lightning powers. can cause minmal lightning damage but can cause some great physical harm but not to great if used with enough force it could chop of some ones arm clean threw the bone.

Familiars: a lightning wolf. the wolfs only abilty thus far other than the ocassional shocking of its master is biting the crap out of people and howling at the moon

[Witchblade]

All right, this is a good start but you're being too vague with your skills and abilities.

First off, you Familiar, you should list appearances, age, name and such for him as you do with your main character including any abilities that the wolf may have.

Now, as for your skills, you're making yourself way too powerful for a level zero and you're not discribing anything these abilities can do. How strong is the sword you can summon from the heavens and what exactly does it do? Is it just a regular sword or does it have something unique? The ability to 'control lightning and storms' is too powerful and vague, instead perhaps he can have an effect on the weather around him, but at this level he would not be able to conjure a full blown storm. Is the lightning something he conjures in his hands or does it shoot down from the sky?

Also, his other magic needs explanations as well and make sure not to make it too powerful or I'll be removing the elements you're allowed to use. healing as well, list the severity of wounds he can heal and how long it takes the wounds to heal.

[Witchblade]

Don't forget to post after you've made edits so I know you've done then. :p

All right, your Katana, Familiar, Lightning, Storm magic and healing is fine. However, you still haven't listed what exactly he can do with the fire, wind, dark,rock and light magic. Saying he can summon Holy to do damage to those of dark influence is not a good enough description. Since he can't be too powerful yet at this level you can flesh out two of those five magics listed and give them better descriptions, the other three you'll have to wait until you reach your next level in order to add.