Enemies in the Gates

[Yamihara]

((Solo - Takes place immediately after The True Beginning and Gears for War?))

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

"It's going to be tough, that I will tell you. From last I heard, guards have been posted almost every ten yards around the perimeter. So, sneaking in is not an option for you."

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

"Huh... I knew it... But, wait a minute- The Estate doesn't have that many guards! Where did they come from?!"

"Yours Truly asked the Highcourt as audiences and witnesses for the series of tests she will be conducting... So naturally the Dukes brought along their own little armies to provide themselves protection..."

"Oh, that's just great..."

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

Dawn rose over the eastern skyline, stretching her amber fingers over the feathery clouds and warming the biting winds with golden rays from beyond the horizon. With newfound vigor and energy, the gentle breeze swept across the open plains and caressed the covered wooden wagon in its idle stroll through the grassland. Behind the wagon's trail was a wall of lush green trees, marking the last of the Concordian woodland and the beginning of a new land, the golden grainfields of Akashima.

The tiny kingdom was, by far, nothing compared to Radasanth in terms of population or military might. What they lack in numbers, however, was greatly compensated by their hospitality and unity.

But what strange twist of fate had come to pass, not one person was certain.

Asuka sighed heavily as she glanced out the back of the merchant's wagon on their way to the Akashiman Central Bazaar, her hazy brown eyes passing over the young stalks of oats as they swayed in the morning breeze. The maiden had never thought the day would come that she would have to return home, to the very place that had exiled her to the streets, and reclaim honor of her family. The death of Duke Yamihara was a major blow to the security of the Capital as it was her father who overlooked the safety of the western border. Now, with the Yamihara household lacking a head and as the eldest living heir to the position, Asuka had to return.

Whether or not the other Dukes would allow her to lead her House.

Klick Kla- KaThunk!

"Uwah~! Oof!"

Asuka tumbled forward as the cart came to a sudden halt, the frightened neigh of the old man's horse ringing loudly in her ears. The lass grimaced as she nursed her head, her head tipping to the side just as her friend's callous-ridden hand clapped across her mouth, silencing the maiden before she could say another word.

"Looks like trouble, Asuka." Tokito spoke in a hushed tone, a hint of apprehension lingered in his voice. "Stay low while I have a look."

The lass nodded obediently as the shaggy man eased off his legs and peered around the back of the wagon, his right hand wrapped around the hilt of his rapier.

"Bandits." Tokita hissed , a flash of rage reflecting in his inky orbs.

"Bandits? This far inside Akashima?!" The maiden gasped in silenced horror as her eyes followed the hardy young man descend onto the dusty road below. The word hung on her consciousness and lodged itself inside her throat, refusing to leave her in peace.

…This isn’t good… No, this isn’t right at all…

Bandits in Akashima were rarely heard of mostly because the Dukes of each area acted as the regional ruler and the Hand of Law, dealing justice wherever crime arise with profound alacrity. Understanding among the populace and the abundance of natural resources had always kept the locals at peace with one another, thus ruling that the bandits had to come from somewhere else.

This is bad… If bandits had gotten this far inside the borders, then that means…

Asuka’s head snapped upwards with the sound of clashing steel and explosion of uproar. She did not need to guess what caused the ruckus. Hopping out from the wagon, the lass pulled on her gauntlets and rushed out to give the errand boy a helping hand. One against many could hardly be called a fair fight, especially against the outlaws.

"Tokita- Watch out!" The maiden screamed as she saw one of the brigands raised a giant club high above his head, only moments before an ear-splitting sound echoed across the empty fields of grain.

A cool breeze swept across the field of gold, the grainstalks swaying in tranquil unison. Completely ignorant of the battle that ensued not far away.

[Yamihara]

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

"Hey, Tokita-kun... Are you sure you'll be alright...?"

Asuka lowered her head and peered through her friend's battered, sweaty brown rags while he leaned wearily against the sturdy wagon ribbing, grimacing every now and then as a pair of gentle hands worked the bandage over various open wounds across the swordman's arms and legs.

"Ye- Gh!" The beat-up man replied with a ragged groan, clenching his teeth as soiled linen strips tightened themself across a nasty gash on his shoulder. "Y-yeah... I'll be alright... For the most part, I think."

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

"And with your kind of luck, sir, you'll feel much better in no time."

The speaker smiled as he finished up the wrap with a cute little bow, wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead that had crept through his earthly-emerald bangs. The scholarly man whipped out a small rectangle of cloth and rubbed it across his skinny lenses, cleaning out bits of soil and dust that had been thrown up in the scuffle.

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

Asuka gave the green-hair man an apologetic smile. The lass could swear that it was all just pure luck that the traveling duo had come upon the merchang wagon as they were being assaulted by the highwaymen. Although Tokita was a fierce fighter with his fists and sword, a four on one was hardly a fight he could win against. Asuka remembered jumping out from the wagon when her old-time friend suddenly fell with a deep gash on his shoulders. Just as the maiden jumped in between the assailant and the errand boy, they appeared.

Her eyes turned to watch the other half of the "Rescue Party" that stumbled upon their roadside skirmish. Lounging carelessly at the edge of the wagon bed, the maiden's flowing long hair was a blazing fiery red and much more vivid and impressive than Asuka's own coppery locks. Every single strand dancing in the light morning breeze sparkled like embers in the dead of night, setting the air around her ablaze with charisma and awe. Her crimson outfit, with feathery laces and tassels hanging from her hip, lend the dancer-like maiden an air of wonder.

"Hey~! Not a problem, kiddo! We were just passing through and saw you three needed some help getting past those buggers." The chirpy lady beamed back and waved away the apology, showing off her stunning set of pearly whites and a razor-sharp canines which snapped the Akashima out of her trance. "We're just a pair of hopeless Do-Gooders looking for a ride, that's all. Isn't that right, Riku?"

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

The spectacled man nodded happily and propped himself against the opposite wall, casually casting his sights about the cramped little interior dominated by oddly-shaped glasswares and metallic containers.

"So... Where are you two headed for, Miss Yamihara? Heading for the Estate?" Riku decided to strike up a friendly conversation, not realizing anything even after seeing his traveling partner groan in disdain and the surprised look plastered across the two Akashiman's faces. "What? Did I say something wrong?"

"No, but you're so slow sometimes..." His red-hair friend replied with an awkward chuckle, absent-mindedly scratching an itch on her right cheek. "Pardon 'bout my dim friend here, he's not really that good with starting conversations."

They chuckled nervously as Riku fumed, muttering about him being anything but "dim."

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

"It's OK, really. I was pretty sure everyone around here would've known about this already." Asuka let out a doleful sigh as she leaned back against the tent rib, staring aimlessly at the glowing orange ceiling of the canvas cover. "It's not like you could help overhearing this kind of story, ne?"

Asukapursed her lips in disdain, wondering what the High Court was thinking to allow such an embarrassing display take place. She knew there would be other people there, strangers imitating her in a bid to usurp what little was left of the Yamihara household and maybe wreck the family name forever... Her mind kept spinning through these images... The housemaids and butlers driven to the point of insanity by vainful chores and immature commands... Every last bit of respect withering away with every second the Fake had control over her household... Her true home...

And Mariko... Asuka could not bear to think what would happen to her one and only sister left to struggle against the onslaught of lecherous young lords and power-hungry aristocrats out to grab hold of the family fortune...

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

"Argh~!!! I can't let them do that!" The lass suddenly broke the disarming silence, clawing her disheveled hair and griping aloud to herself. "Zettai murin da!!!"

"Hey, Asuka! Calm down! You can't let who do what?" Tokita was the first to speak up, forcefully wrapping one good hand around the frustrated maiden's arm. Regaining awareness of her surrounding, the Yamihara maiden paused in a daze and quickly composed herself, shrinking back with burning red hot cheeks.

"Maybe you should get some rest, Asuka. We'll hit the city outskirt soon and I know you'll have plenty of things to worry about there." The fiery traveler casted a sideway glance at the blushing maiden, casually swinging her legs over the back of the slow-moving box on wheels. "You're not looking a lot like yourself. But that's just me, y'know."

Maybe she's right... Heaving a sigh and resigning herself to a short little slumber, Asuka hoped that this day would finally be over and she would find herself in the comfort of her family once again. If nothing bad happened before then first...

Klick Klack... Klick Klack...

***

"Thanks for the ride, Mister Merchant!"

The steady trodding of the horse-drawn wagon faded slowly as they neared the city limits, carrying itself much faster as there were two less people to weigh down the creaky wagon. Left on the dusty travel-worn road, Riku and his lady companion watched silently as the sleeping duo in the back were led quietly to the Central Bazaar, a little ways from the gates of the Yamihara Estate where the nervous ex-noble would have to come to terms with her destiny. Her fate would remain to be seen, though only a few had already known what the outcome was to be.

"So, what now? We head back to Shirayama, or..." Riku was the first to speak up as he eased himself on the grassy field next to the road, watching the spry flame-hair maiden stretch about after a ride in the cramped up wagon.

"Nah, are you kidding? It's not often we come this far down from the slopes, if you haven't forgotten yet." She replied back with a quirky little smile, showing off her sharp pearly canine. "Besides, it's been so long since I've been in this form. I kinda miss this human body and now I know why." She joked, patting her busty form and hugging her fair-skinned shoulders as she danced about the clearing, singing to herself how beautiful she looked.

Riku chuckled in amusement at his partner's antics, casually staring off into the open fields as tiny little seedlings began sprouting out from the ground around his hands and legs.

"Aye, true. I wonder if that maiden Asuka would need our intervention or not...? She will be needing more than just her own sense of justice to see this through..."

A light breeze swept through the grain field, sending a steady wave through the sea of gold and green as the two beings watched the wide blue sky, catching a glimpse of a majestic blue shadow beyond the clouds high above.

"Yeah, I guess so~" The red-hair dancer mused, "It has begun..."

[Yamihara]

Before them, the formidable gates of the Yamihara Estate loomed above the streets leading out to the Central Market, the quaint little fresh market buzzing with life as it always had for decades after decades. At the formidable gates, armed soldiers clad in standard Akashiman infantry gears stood at the ready with their eyes ever vigilant to the streets ahead, halberds at the ready and swords at their side. Their faces were obscured by shadows of the midday rays, but the sweat trickling down their face was a testament to their commitment. Either that, or they simply had no other choice.

"<Halt!>" A soldier approached Asuka and Tokita as they were about to pass through the gates, the officer wearing only the chestplate, pauldrons and carrying a long, curving sword at his side. "<Identify yourselves and your business here!>"

The two of them looked at each other, wondering what they should say. Should they tell him that she was Asuka who had come to reclaim her household? If this was a trap to slay her once she was inside, it would prove to be a fatally effective one at that. But if they said otherwise, they might not even be allowed to enter the grounds at all.

Hey, wait a minute... Asuka squinted against the sunlight glinting off the polished steel armor, slowly recognizing the face of their interceptor. His hair was a shiny black, seemingly always combed back and neatly tucked behind his ears. His face clean shaven with the faint smell of cinnamon in his breath everytime he exhaled... His deep brown eyes and that faded, tiny scar at the corner of his left eye that was just barely noticeable in the intense light. Could it be...

"Urabe-san?"

The sword-wielding officer jumped, creasing his brows together at the mention of his name. "Do I know you, miss?" He coldly replied, keeping a steady face looking forward and a steady hand at the hilt of his sword.

Asuka's surprised smile immediately waned, replaced by a disappointed frown weighed down by her heavy heart.

"Uh, Ah... Zo! <Sergeant Tozeharu, my name is Namashiki Tokita and my friend and I are needed inside at this moment.>" Tokita stammered as he tried to relay the dire news, receiving only a curious glare from the commanding officer of the perimeter guards. "<I have found Asuka and now she will claim what should rightfully be hers.>"

"Sou, ka?" Urabe muttered to himself, rubbing a finger across his lips. His eyes wandered from the errand boy, then to the sulking red-hair maiden who made occasional glances at the swordsman, her chocolately brown orbs clouding over in the shadow of her bangs. He knew there would be people bearing that kind of news, though he also knew what kind of person young Tokita was. After all, the two of them were friends. At one time.

"<Fine. Go on to the main entrance. The rest are there waiting for Lady Yamihara to make her announcement.>" The Sergeant flatly remarked, stepping to the side whilst eyeing the area warily. Beyond the waist-high ranges of shrubs and tall, lanky fir trees, the homely gravel road wound its way through the lush green courtyard and looped around a giant fountain. Birds chirped within the trees off the side of the road, exchanging chatter whilst the two travellers made their way under the shaded path of stone.

Tap tap tap

"Ne... Tokita-kun..."

Asuka muttered as the two of them continued their long stroll towards the foot of the Estate. Her steps faltered, her breathing weary and disheartened. Tokita glanced at her from the corner of his eye, anticipating the burning question within the young lady's heart. He knew it would be hard to answer, but even still, harder to bear.

"<What does Urabe-san meant by... The Rest...?>"

[Yamihara]

Her eyes moved off the ground as they neared the crowd, her casually-attired bodyguard remaining painfully silent the entire way. It was then, when she finally caught a glimpse of the people within the crowd, she understood why he dared not answer her question.

The lowest step of the receding stairway was a sea of red hair, some a more brilliant shade than others and dressed in fine, showy garments that would well make any man stare with awe and admiration. There were a few, however, that looked like they had been dragged through mud and silt, their clothes thread-bare and almost hiding nothing at all from lecherous stares outside the main gates.

All Asuka felt like doing was letting out a long, disheartening groan.

Wordlessly, the rugged errand-boy pushed through the crowd of red hair and musky sweat with his charge closely in tow. Dust rose from the gathering of feet, threatening to choke the gatherers at the polished marble steps before the announcement would meet their ears. Hushed whispers bounded through the crowd eerily as the sun rose higher to meet the clouds, their shadows growing smaller by the minute until a few of the less tolerable maidens had to flee for the shrinking shades of the fir.

Asuka eyed each and every individual warily, her mind starting to throw around various tricks and possibilities from losing against the usurpers to behind assassinated the first step she would make towards the stairs. Absent-mindedly, she tugged firmly at the sleeves of her punching gauntlets and could feel steam rising out from the dark leather gloves.

A resounding blare of the horn startled her from the recess of her mind, looking up to see the regal garbs of the Court Announcer. All eyes trailed the man in his squashed beret, who stood perfectly still a few moments before the "Lady of the House" appeared from the shadows of the Estate.

So... That's... The Mistress...?!

"<Welcome, everyone, to the Yamihara Estate.>" Her melodic voice echoed above the silenced murmurs of the gathering people, whose eyes remained transfixed upon the grand figure standing atop the marble stairs leading to the twin mahogany doors of the Estate. The woman atop the pristine steps, untainted by the vivid red dust, stared back at the sea of copper and red below with her shocking azure eyes. The braided light-brown locks swayed uneasily in the wind, however faint they swept through the thronged courtyard and the makeshift podium.

Wind strong enough to freeze Asuka's blood.

"This feels bad, Tokita..." The maiden whispered to her companion, who stood silent with an unnerved glower. She could feel her heart racing, but her body remained unresponsive. No... This feels really bad...

"<I am glad of your... Enthusiasm...>" Lady Yamihara remarked as she scanned the crowd from above, pausing only for a second at the two of them before continuing her announcement. "<But as you all know, there can only be one true Asuka.>"

Asuka gulped, a tight knot forming in her throat.

"<Therefore...>" The Mistress resumed her speech, seemingly unfazed by the heat of midnoon and the speculative stare of the crowd below. "<We will need to test you in different areas that we know about the true Asuka. And that means... All of you.>"

Tests... That's just great... Asuka nervously huffed at the notion and crossing her arms defensively. For all she knew, the tests could very well be the execution awaiting to take the life of the real Yamihara Asuka. She glanced sideways at Tokita, who stood a couple of steps away, imploring him for any signs of comfort.

"<One by one.>"

...Hm?

The crowd roared in their murmurs, words bouncing against each other until the din became an incomprehensible wave of sound that threatened to shake the very foundation of the grand Estate. And Asuka had feared it would be so - What better way to dispose of the real heir than to go through each person one-by-one?

"<Silence! Mind your manners when present before the Mistress!>" A deep, powerful voice boomed above their heads, killing the uproar in an instant. For a moment, the lass thought she recognized the voice as if she had heard it earlier somewehere before. She pushed the curiosity into the back of her mind as the man dressed in full Akashiman officer's uniform returned to his post besides the gigantic brown doors.

What worried her more were the methods to be used in testing to see who the real "Asuka" was. Would there be torture involved? Or mind games intended to chase her away in fright? But whatever they throw at her, she would not allow another person to reign over her home while she was still alive. She must pass those tests.

If it was the last thing she could do.

[Yamihara]

"Ungh..."

Idle calls of the jackdaw and cicadas filled Asuka's ears as she sat on the steps of the Estate stairs, hugging her knees and staring blankly out towards the gigantic twin gates. The sounds drone on as red-hair girls were led out of the Estate Grounds, many with a river of curses flowing from their mouths even as the guards ushered them out politely with pikes and halberds. One by one, the imposters disappeared into the streets outside with little more than their dignity left intact.

"<Huh... There sure are a lot of lookalikes around here.>" Tokita quipped as he made his way over, a fresh towel in his hand as well as a cup of water.

Wordlessly, Asuka accepted the drink and slowly sipped the cool refreshing liquid with a weak frown. Letting the crystal clear water wash away her weariness and the burning sensation of the sun against her head, the lass finally managed to let out a sigh of relief.

"<Leave it to them to come up with tests, Tokita.>" Asuka chuckled in disdain, taking the towel from her friend's outstretched hand and wiping it across her forehead. "<I really don't know if they know what they are doing. A lot of people could have imitated me and take my place just as easily as I would pass these things, from the looks of it...>"

Tokita chuckled quietly, setting himself down by the redhead maiden's side whilst casting his eyes about the courtyard, the crowd of "Asuka" thinning down considerably.

"<Nah, I doubt any of these imposters would get in. B'sides, I'll make sure that none of them can cause any trouble even if they managed to pass all those tests.>"

Asuka paused at the words spoken from her friend's mouth, the ceramic cup froze in her hand with the liquid just brimming at the lips.

"<Tokita-kun...>" Asuka uttered in disbelief, glancing warily at the usually carefree errand boy she used to know for years uncountable. "<You're not thinking of...>"

"<Hmm?>"

Asuka peered into his deep brown eyes, her furrowed brows casting a look of worry at the burly man.

"<...Never mind...>" She murmured, returning to the cup of water in her hands.

Tokita would never do something like that... Would he...?

***

"<Asuka... It's time.>"

The burning orb had rolled from its zenith, still on its slow descent between the shining clouds and the lush green horizon afar. Many of the imposters had been ushered from the grounds, the impossibly large crowd now numbering no more than a handful. There was still a chance for impersonation, a chance Asuka was not willing to take. She would have to prove to the High Court that she was the real Yamihara. The only one who rightfully deserves to succeed her father.

Letting out a waning sigh, the maiden stretched up from her resting spot and marched up the marbled flights, her weather-worn boots squealing noisily with each step taken. Looking down from the entrance way, she eyed her trusting companion one last time before being ushered in, Tokita grunting in assurance as she disappeared between the twin mahogany doors.

It was time for her to prove who she was, a time to regain that which was lost. But at what cost, she would not care. Because in the end, it mattered little if she would have to be bound to the drudgery of nobility and their pompous ways.

She was not doing this for herself.

The maiden tensed as she came to a stop, all eyes falling on her with scrutiny and disbelief.

Asuka gulped.

"<Welcome, Asuka. Shall we begin?>"

[Yamihara]

Asuka stared blankly at the Council of Highcourt members seated at a long mahogany table, each with pieces of papers laid out before them and a hand never too far away from a feathery quill. Light poured in through the many lofty windows high up on the second floor, occupied by lonely corridors running the entire length of the walls. The maiden did not even have to glance up to know that each and every window above were guarded by soldiers, all armed with crossbows and ready to fire on command.

"Your name, please?"

Asuka was startled out of her thoughts by the deep, commanding voice of a man in deep red uniform. His quill hovering over the paper, just inches from touching the ink onto its surface. His slick black hair, shining in the shafts of sunlight pouring down from above, drawing the maiden's attention back to the situation at hand.

"Yamihara," She said, her voice steady and clear. "Asuka."

The man merely blinked once and scribbled down her name in Akashiman script, not even batting an eye to the girl standing alone in the hall.

Asuka pursed her lips and glared at them, wondering why on Althanas would they need to ask for her name. They should have known anyone would answer the way she did - After all, if your name was not Yamihara Asuka, why else would you be here in the first place? She did not believe the Akashiman Highcourt to be stupid enough to be this absent-minded.

"Next question, miss." Another man casually spoke, drawing her eyes away from the uncaring writer of her previous reply to another man seated on the opposite end of the table. This person bore the same stern glance and strong voice as her late father, Duke Yamihara Hiroi. However, she knew he was not her father - just a very close friend who happened to look and think a lot like him. "I want to know as much about you as I can. First off, where were you for the past year or so?"

The girl frowned. There had been too many things that came into her life. Her times at the Peaceful Promenade, chatting away with new-found friends and kicking drunkards out the door. There were good times which she never wanted to forget... the short trip to Scara Brae and the short stay with a prince... However short and disappointing it had been.

But how could she remember... So many things...?

"I was... here and there." Asuka answered nonchalantly. "Mostly hanging around Underwood, really."

A stoic Councilman stared unimpressed by her response and scrawled some writing onto the piece of parchment in front of him.

"We also heard you travelled to Raiaera..." Another man spoke up and perched his chin on the back of his hand. "Plus, I also heard you had a bit of a mix-up with a Prince from a foreign land. May I ask you why?"

"I was looking for a blacksmith, Duke Asaraki." Asuka shot an annoyed glance his way, wondering why he needed to ask such a stupid question. "Besides, I was in Alerar - Not Raiaera. And don't you dare bring that up."

When the man let out an amused chuckle, the lass felt as if a tiny piece of chopstick snapped in half inside her head.

CHILL, girl. It's all part of the test...

Managing to calm herself down before her body decided to leap across the long table and bash the grinning Duke's face in, she silently waited for the next question to test her willpower.

Alright, one more question I would like to know." The slick-hair man who was the first to address her began. "... Who's your father and mother?"

[Yamihara]

Whoever came up with the question was quite a clever person, for it was one that only a child of the two to understand. It was also an extremely irritating one, especially after knowing that the father had been murdered and the mother being nothing much except sweet, bygone memories. A question, nonetheless, that Asuka had to answer. Much to her ire.

"My father is the late Duke Yamihara Hiroi." She began, stating it clear and loud enough it echoed in the hall. "He was a stern man, one who always ruled the household with an iron hand and a beating stick. Not much of a speaker, as the Council may have known, but also doesn't glaze his words with sugar either."

That was the image she had always known him as. She never visited the Highcourt herself or seen him in the meeting halls. But one thing she was sure about was the way he treated everyone in the house to the same stern words, harsh they may be at times.

"Also," She let out a scoff at the memory of her old man. The maiden really couldn't help but make fun of him for one last time, just to make him turn in his grave once or twice. "He's always hellbent on making me an orderly little girl. Too bad I'm more manly than he could handle."

Whatever it was she had spoken, the seated men lifted their heads and murmured to one another, their faces showing signs of skepticism. Asuka could not help blurting it out and merely resorted to cross her arms and wait for them to return to order. After all, she still had one more question to reply to.

"As for my mother..." She started, though her eyes roamed towards the polished marble floor instead of straight ahead at the questioning men. What was her mother like, she thought? All she could think of were memories long gone, lost to the many years of life and turmoil within the estate. Her days spent play-fighting with the errand boys and sneaking out under the cover of night. Of course, she never made it beyond the gates until she got older, but it was all she could remember during those years...

"...Mother was... a kind woman..." Snippets of sensation seeped back into her mind, her eyes still trained on the ground a couple paces from her feet. The room fell silent once more, the singular sound of a lone cicada echoing in the waning sunlight's shine.

"It was summer... Late summer..." The hardened visage she held earlier softened, the smirk she was wearing turned downwards into a slight frown. "I... We... The Boys, as Mama Ester liked to call us." Memories of the kind old maid who oversaw the others in the Estate returned as well, though still somewhat fuzzy and incoherent. "We were playing swords... I swung it at a kid a little too hard..."

Her right hand fell from her chest, gripping tightly at the hem of her tattered jacket. "Hit him clean across his head. Cry. Well, he cried, if I remembered correctly... and then someone came... Not Mama Ester..."

The maiden stood there silently for a few seconds, swaying uneasily as she tried to remember the face of that person she saw. The sound of one lone cicada receded into silence, only to be joined by a chorus of them singing their twilight song.

"It was..."

[Yamihara]

...all a lie.

"It was all a lie, sir."

Asuka grimaced as the realization came to the very front of her mind. It was merely a construction of her own wishful thinking and forged memories of what she wanted her past to be like. She remained silent, standing with her head hung low and the dying red beams of light shining against her back.

All a lie...

She never knew who her mother was, nor what she was ever like.

She remembered hitting some kid over the head with a wooden practice sword when she was but a young teen... That some kid being Tokita who proposed to be her sparring partner. She also remembered giving him a rather nasty lump on his head which, according to that same guy many years later, lasted about two weeks.

The atmosphere... It was all imagined. The cicadas did not cry that day, for it was still early summer. The Boys were never there, either - It was a one-on-one sparring match between herself and the young Tokita. The young Asuka wanted to know if she could beat Tokita in a duel, never quite believing the young errand boy was holding back even as she landed the wooden sword square between his head.

And that was about it. Nothing more.

She vaguely remembered seeeing someone unfamiliar around the pantry chatting and helping the maids with the morning cooking. Her face... her voice... it was all more or less a blurry sensation... intangible...

...Brilliant hair...

It was one of the few details she could remember of that odd lady. Hair as brilliant and unique as a ripe apple... No, not an apple... A ripe, tiny cherry tomato.

That was it.

But she could not remember anything beyond that... And that odd lady could certainly NOT be her mother...

"I really can't remember who my mother was, sir." She solemnly confessed. "Asides from the sketch we have in the hearth... I don't have much memory of her at all."

Bad answer... Asuka bit her lips as she awaited their verdict on the interview. A part of her wished they would ask more questions that would dig deeper into her childhood life after she began her tomboyish ways... Something she knew better how to respond and redeem her authenticity.

A part of her wanted to just be the hell out of there. There was nothing more left to do. A child who knew not of her mother... How could she even call herself a daughter of the House?

"Alright, Miss Yamihara. Please follow the guards to the next room." The slick-hair duke spoke up after a long silence broken only by hushed murmurs as an announcement of her condition. "Your next test awaits."

...What?

Asuka blinked curiously even as she was quietly ushered away, a look of silent disbelief and uncertainty marked in her wrinkled brows. Surely it could be a an elaborate trap laid out just waiting for her to make a fatal move...

But for once in this long and tiresome day, Asuka felt as if a giant weight had been lifted from her heart.

[Yamihara]

“<Who’re you?!>”

Asuka stepped back in horror, seeing a splitting image of herself standing in the middle of the room facing the council. The stranger turned her head to look at the speaker and, she too, stepped away in surprise.

“<Hey, what? Who the hell are you?!>”

An ominous hush fell over the dining hall, the four council members leaning forward to peer attentively at both red-hair maidens frozen to the floors and mouth agape. One of the councilmen glanced at his peers, eliciting a head shake from those nearest to him.

Meanwhile, the two maidens had changed their stances from astonishment to suspicion.

“<Who are you… You… Imposter!>” Asuka growled, her hands clenched at her side looking ready to punch the other woman’s lights out for good.

“<Imposter, my foot!>” The other Asuka glared, a hand hovering dangerously close to the sheathed katar at her side. “<I’m the real Asuka, the rightful heir to the Yamihara household! You’re the imposter!>”

“<Oh, you’d like that, wouldn’t you?>”

The two heirs locked eyes upon each other and circled the floor, just a few feet away from each other and emanating hostility from the very tips of their hair. No one in the room had to second-guess what might happen next – when two tigers end up in the same cave, one had to leave. And it was not going to be pretty.

“<Enough, both of you.>”

A quiet, yet powerful voice broke over the fight and all heads turned towards a figure at the doorway. As the gigantic scarlet door closed behind her, the Mistress calmly took her seat among the rest of the High Court. She stared back at both girls, sparing no emotion to either remaining candidates.

“<Save your petty arguments for later. We will determine who is the real heir. Bring in the prisoner.>”

A second door swung open, the resounding echo hanging upon the still air as a small procession marched in with a girl bound in chains. All eyes fell upon the small figure, dressed in a ragged white dress that contrasted sharply with her disheveled black hair.

-Mariko!

Asuka’s mind cried out in shock. Why was her little sister in-!

“<She is the murderer of the Duke Yamihara. Whosoever passes judgment on her, invoking the Law of Akashima, shall be named the real heir to the Yamihara House.>”

While the room remained in silent shock at the announcement, a crossbow landed at the feet of the two Asukas. An oaken bolt followed shortly, ringing clear against the hall's polished granite floor.

"<That judgment... Is Death.>"

[Yamihara]

...You're crazy!

Asuka stood wide-eyed at the verdict, staring in utter silence at the Highcourt members seated in their lofty podiums.

Death sentence?! To Mariko?!

No way. There was no way they meant it like that.

There's no way... Mariko...? A murderer...?

Mariko. An alarming thought shot through her mind. A thought that tore her entrails out like a cold, rusted blade.

What if Mariko was indeed her father's killer...?

Her father was killed... Assassinated in his sleep one night while Asuka was still on her self-imposed exile. A poisonous prick to his neck, as her close friend had secretly divulged after reuniting with the maiden. Therefore, it had to be done by someone on the inside.

...But, no. I couldn't have been. There was simply no way she could bring herself to believe Mariko was the one.

But for a moment... Just for a tiniesy moment of her mind, Asuka thought it was possible.

And it made her scared.

Her eyes drifted to the crossbow on the floor, then they moved towards the other girl present within the room. Her eyes were also ones of hesitation and alarm.

With the slightest hint of determination glimmering in her eyes.

Just like Asuka's. It was the most troubling thought which ran through her mind.

...No matter what needs to be done...

Shaking hands reached for the weapon, eyes transfixed upon the white-robed prisoner. The bolt slipped into its launcher's groove, leveling with the target. A finger slipped in front of the trigger, waiting for the pull.

...To save the name of the Yamihara House... I must become the rightful heir...

Sweat trickled down her cheek. Cold. Singular.

...Gomennasai...

"<... I can't do it.>"

Asuka felt hot tears flowing down her cheek, replacing the droplet of cold sweat which had made its way down to her chin.

Yamihara Asuka could not bring herself to pull the trigger, to put the barbed arrow through Mariko's heart.

"<...Then I'll do it!>"

The crossbow suddenly left the red-hair maiden's hands, only for the girl to find it in her doppleganger's own. Levelled at the shackled assassin, the other Asuka pulled at the trigger without hesitation.

"<-Yamete!>"

[Yamihara]

Asuka prayed the arrow did not leave the crossbow.

The bolt flew free, beyond the grasp of the frantic maiden whose hands failed to reach the projectile in time.

Asuka prayed the arrow did not fly true, for it to miss its mark and plant itself harmlessly against the far wall away from her sister.

The bolt cut through the air like a homing hornet, burying itself between the shackled white doll between her breasts.

A silent gasp escaped the little girl's lips before the room was deluged in a sea of horrified murmurs, coming from the Councilmen and the dressed guards who lined against the walls.

Asuka wished the girl before her was not Mariko. But how could her eyes lied to her when the girl, pinned with a bolt through her heart and a red bib forming down her snow-white dress... Was that of the very person she had returned to see.

"MARIKO!!"

No- No! This isn't happening!

Asuka stumbled onto her knees as she pried her hands from the death-giver crossbow, the other girl standing silent with a grimace on her face. The maiden wanted to run... Run to her sister to make sure she was alright, but her legs held no strength of their own. Not even her arms moved to her will, sprawled uselessly against the cold black floor.

...No...

A flood of memories returned to her mind, of the day she decided to leave the Yamihara Estate on the 150th year anniversary. The day where the servants, maids and her sister came to give her one last good-bye. The promise she made to her young dark-eyed baby sister... That fateful day.

"Be strong, Mariko. I will return some day."

Those words pierced the maiden deep inside, tearing at her very beating heart as if to sunder the life out of her being. Hot tears welled and overflowed down her cheeks, yet she could feel no sensation within her mind.

The promise she made... All but gone in a single second of life.

"<There, I have done what is required to prove my identitiy.>" The flame-hair girl threw down the cursed crossbow, turning to make her final statement to the Council. "<I am Yamihara Asuka, eldest daughter of the late Duke Yamihara Hiroi. I have come to reclaim what is rightfully mine.>"

The members of the High Court, discussing amongst themselves, whispered their verdict of approval. Their eyes turned to the Mistress, who promptly rose to announce her decision.

"<Your wish shall be granted, Asuka. Guards, arrest the imposter and throw her into the deepest of dungeouns. Let it be an example of what happens to those who try to usurp the title of a Caretaker of Akashima.>"

The guards, forming two columns of two, marched from their positions to the contestants in the center of the room. One column lifted the feeble girl onto her feet, lending their support in place of her own, while the other took hold of her arms in tight vice-like grips.

"<WHA- Hey, what is the meaning of this!?>" The arrested maiden protested amidst her struggling, upsetting the column of soldiers with kicks and curses. "<I'm the real Asuka, have you forgotten, woman?! Now let me go!>"

...what's going on...?

Asuka slowly raised her head as the commotion began to escalate, finding the other maiden being restrained by two more guards who abandoned their halberds to arrest her flailing legs. Her eyes turned to meet the cold, doll-like visage.

"<The true Asuka would never injure her younger sister willingly, imposter. Mariko's life is as valuable to her as the Yamihara name. Should you be the real Asuka, you would have known.>"

...So... Does that mean...

"...Heheheh... So is that it, old woman...?"

The flame-hair maiden, still restrained by the soldiers and surrounded by halberds, chuckled as of having come to a realization. The Council members stopped their low muttering and stared at the young maiden, unease washing over their faces. Suddenly, clouds of smoke erupted from the ground where the imposter stood. Halberdiers were thrown from their feet, crashing onto their backs in all directions even before the others had time to react. Asuka stepped back, strength having partially regained from the shock of urgency brought on by the surprised cries of pain coming from within the smoke as an unarmed guard collapsed on the floor, holding a growing red spot on his side.

"...So if I can't take this House by guile, I'll take it by force!"

The Imposter sneered as she stood, clad from head to toe in dark skin-tight garb, with a circle of hooded fighters brandishing their knives and claws in the middle of the room.

-Ninja!

The urgency of the situation snapped the flame-hair maiden from shock, just in time to avoid an airborne shuriken as it grazed her ear. The halberdiers rushed in to engage the clandestine fighters, the meeting hall turning into one frenzied battlefield within the span of only a few seconds.

Darnit-! What's going on here?!

Asuka ducked and dodged the assailing blades, returning a few punches at straying faces and bodies as they came into reach. Her eyes sought the Mistress, but a quick glance up towards the elusive woman's throne revealed that the members of the High Court had already been escorted out the room.

Oh, that's just great!

One of the ninja launched a clawed fist at her face, attempting to blindside the lass and cut her life short. Asuka leaned away from the deadly hooks just in time, delivering a cross punch clean across the assassin's face. Seeing him fall limp onto the floor, Asuka spun around to find out where her sister's body remained.

"Don't turn your back on the enemy, Asuka!"

A punch rocked the maiden's head, sending Asuka reeling along the black granite hall in a spinning world of flashing blades and darkened figures. Shaking her head, pristine blue eyes shot at the aggressor who stood mocking with hands on hips.

"I thought you could do better than that, Asuka of the Yamihara House. After all, you were a survivor in the Serenti those many months before."

The flame-hair ninja sneered, cracking her knuckles as if preparing herself for a fight. The woman had a very similar face to Asuka's own, but the twisted grin turned the ninja's face into one of haughty arrogance. A face Asuka abhorred.

"Why are you doing this, Imposter." The Yamihara maiden snarled, drawing up her guards with gauntlet-encased fists. "Why target the Yamihara House."

"My, my. I really can't tell you that, can I?"

The two stared at each other as the battle raged on all around them, perhaps oblivious to the fact that a single wrong step outside of their arena would be met with a half dozen blades through their backs. As if a leaf, blown in through the windows high above on the balcony, had lighted on the floor between them, the two fighters rushed in with fists cocked and eyes locked on their targets.

[Yamihara]

The flurry of battle raised a dire urgency within the maiden's mind, forcing adrenaline flowing through her veins and sugar replenishing energy lost in the weariness of her previous tests. Her reflexes became sharper than it was, being able to see the deadly fists of her imposter coming in from angles she would perviously not be able to avoid.

A step to the right caused the strike to go wide, Asuka countering the enemy's blunder with a rapid punch into the gut. The Imposter gasped for air, but quickly recovered to slam an elbow clean across the maiden's chest in retaliation. Both fighters backed off from one another, scrapes and bright red bruises forming along their faces and arms.

"Keh, you're not half bad as they say. But I've heard you were better when you were a fighter in the Serenti Invitational."

The Imposter spat blood from her lips, drawing out the slim blade of a wakizashi hidden in her belt. The sight of the weapon drew concern from the Yamihara heir, but the cryptic words picked at her mind.

"Before I pummel you into a bloody pulp, I want to know why you're here and what have you done to my family."

The flame-hair ninja giggled as if a little girl playing with her puppy, but her tone was nowhere near friendly.

"As if I'll tell you without a fight, Asuka. After all, what I have to do here is not as important as what will come later. I might tell, you..."

Suddenly, the ninja was nowhere in sight.

"...when you're breathing your last!"

-Behind!

Almost upon instinct, the gauntlets rose on their own as Asuka spun to face her foe. The sharp blade of the ninja's short sword slammed noisily against steel plates lining the outside of her arm, allowing the fighter to escape death by merely quarter of an inch. The force of impact threw the lass off-balanced, sending her staggering across the slippery surface and bouncing onto a fellow Akashiman. However, the flash of a sword's edge caused her to immediately duck out of the way, just as the kodachi of an assassin sliced into the neck of the halberdier she had leaned into.

THAT... Was too close.

"Too slow!"

The flame-hair ninja sent down an overhead strike at the crouched noble, causing Asuka to frantically leap out of the way with only a split second to spare. Spinning on her heel, the lass let out a cry as she launched an ambitious straight right at her enemy who was still recovering from the impact of tempered steel against stone.

-WHUMP-

"Close, girlie. But no cigar."

Asuka winced as she realized the enemy had firmly caught her punch and was not letting go. The two remained forzen in a deathlock, knowing that if one were to move the other would surely do as well to counter the action. It was Asuka's sharp eyes that saw the subtle flicker of the Imposter's blade that prompted her to withdrew her arm, mere seconds away from being cut off by the sharp wakizashi's edge.

Darnit! I'm going to beat the daylight out of her for this!

Asuka glared, watching for an opening in the enemy's defence. Landing a few lucky punches was not going to end the fight... She would have to hit it with everything she got.

***

"...Well, now. This is getting to be very interesting."

A female spectator whistled as the battle raged on beneath her feet, her flowing crimson hair a clear contrast in the darkened shadows. The view from the balcony allowed a complete scope of the battlefield as well as being far enough to comment on each actors without betraying their existence.

"But it looks to me your favorite is having a tough time with that ninja. By my guess, her simple moveset won't be enough to knock that gal unconscious in a single barrage."

Myra frowned as she heard her fellow Guardian's analysis, wondering what in the world he was talking about.

"What is this, a fighting game? Give her some time and that girl can beat around an army senseless! That's the way, Asuka! Easy does it!"

Ruka, stroking his chin thoughtfully as he watched the conditions of both fighters, thought otherwise. While the heir to the Yamihara House was looking worse for the wear, having been exhausted from her catharsis earlier that day as well as having to brave the bandits on their way to the Estate, the ninja was well-rested and still showed much strength and finess. If Asuka could not finish her attack within the next few minutes, there was no way the ninja usurper could lose.

***

...Dammit... Why is she not going down already...?!

The maiden gasped for air as she staggered on unsettled legs, her guards raised to defend against the slashing blades of the short sword. Her opponent, the flame-hair ninja, was still in prime condition and only breaking a light sweat. The wakizashi hovered in the air, held menacingly no differently from that of a striking mantis, awaiting an opening to slay its intended victim.

"How does it feel to be killed in your own House, oh, noble Asuka? Your father, mother and sister have already gone, so why wait any longer to join them? I'm sure they'll love to live as a family again."

Urusai... Asuka cursed the sly woman's words, trying to brand her hypnotic suggestions as annoying distractions. I will not allow myself to be killed by the likes of you.

"Now that you're about to die, I'll tell you a little about what you'll be missing out on. It's a shame, really, that you won't be around to see our grand scheme take form."

Asuka tensed up, though her eyes remained wary of the ninja's every moves.

"Once I become head of the Yamihara House, we will open the way for our allies the Coalition to move in. Once that's taken care of, we'll going to replace each and every one of you nobles and retake what should rightfully be ours. You've taken away much of our lands and lives. And I won't forget what your father did to our village those many years before..."

The assassin paused for a second, as if contemplating on what she had done. Asuka remained on guard, but with guarded apprehension, as to why her opponent had suddenly desisted in her attacks. She could see a flicker of sadness in the imposter's eyes.

"...That's why I will never allow myself to lose to you!"

Asuka stepped back just as the ninja rushed in, the wakizashi flashing just a hair away from her eyes.

Her brain froze, as if shutting itself down at the moment the tempered steel blade passed by her vision. A split second later, the maiden leaned into her attacker and returned with her own resolution.

***

"Mmm, nice move. Although, that would hardly be enough to stop the fight."

Ruka nodded approvingly, much to the dismay of his fiery acquaintance. Storming across the balcony, she trampled across some of the small sproutlings the Guardian of the Forest had been nourishing while watching the small fight going down.

"Take that back, Ruka. Asuka can beat that ninja senseless if she wanted to. She's just... You know, a little tired. That's all."

"And if she's tired, that ninja will take her head off."

Myra grimaced, the notion of having her favorite fighter removed from existence did not sit good with her.

"Well, then. I guess I'll give her a little bit of my powers then."

Snapping her fingers, a tiny spark of flame erupted from between her fingers.

"But not too much, darling."

***

"YAH-!"

Asuka drilled her fists into her attacker's stomach, three consecutive punches pummeling into the soft belly of the ninja through her dark suit. Heat built up at the tip of her gauntlet, glowing slightly but unseen from the rapid strikes flashing through the air. Weariness gripped at the maiden's arms, but she would not rest until her foe had been defeated.

"HAH!"

With the last of her strength, Asuka drew back her arm before plowing a massive right shovel hook into her enemy's stomach, an explosive fire erupting from the contact and launching the lightly-armored ninja clean through the air. The great explosion shook the halls, causing all heads to turn from their battle and watch the assassin's leader land in a senseless heap. Seconds passed, but the female assassin did not stir from her fall.

"...hah... hah... hah..."

The only faint echoes heard came from the labored breaths of the heir to the Estate, still poised in the stance that had knocked their leader out for the count. Still slightly shaken by the strange and sudden explosion of power, Asuka almost lost her footing after the adrenaline rush had subsided. Staggering slightly as she composed herself, she turned her eyes to meet the rest of the battlefield.

"...Your leader is lost, so there's no point for you to go on fighting. Surrender now and your lives will be spared."

The true Heir of Yamihara has returned.

[Yamihara]

~Epilogue: Return of the Tomboy~

"Nee-chan! Okaerinasai!"

The early afternoon sun shown brightly in the royal chambers when the servants entered with lunch, an ecstatic little girl in lily white dress rushing past the platter bearers to reach her sister's bedside. The young girl crouched by her sister's bed, tears welling in her eyes even though it was a time of joy.

"Mariko!"

The little girl literally flew through the air as her older sister lifted her off her feet, hugging the dark-hair princess as if she was a delicate ceramic doll that had been lost and returned. Only after a happy, tearful plea did the elder girl brought her back down to the floor.

"You're alright! Bu- But what about the injury?!"

The dark-hair girl shook her head through a tearful smile, managing to catch her voice before making her reply.

"Daijoubu, Nee-chan. It was only an illusion. The Mistress said it would be the best way to find out if you're the real you or not."

That dame is actually pretty crafty... Asuka could literally feel her gut twist with anxiety. I'd hate to get on her bad side any day...

"-Oh, hey. And where is she now?"

An elderly woman in full housemaid uniform entered the room, ushering the other younger maids out to let the two sisters be alone together.

"The Mistress has returned to the Capital, Asuka. She has promised that once you return to the House, her presence here was no longer required. I'm sure she is already halfway to the Royal Palace to report your return."

...Damn crafty...

Heaving a sigh, the maiden resigned her surprise visit to the Capital as no longer doable. There was nothing left to do now asides from recovering from her fight. Then, it's off to see the Lady Akashima.

Asuka ruffled her young sister's hair playfully, her pale fingers mingling with that of the girl's inky black locks. Every time she looked at Mariko's hair, it always reminded her of how different she looked from the other people in the kingdom. How she was always the odd mark in her family's good name, or perhaps not even a true heir to her father's blood at all.

"Nee-chan, are you hurt? I promise I won't bother you until you're feeling better..."

Realizing that her brooding on past wounds had made her sister worried, Asuka smiled and hugged the young girl affectionately.

"No, it's alright. I'll be fine by tomorrow, especially with Ester's excellent healing. After that, I'll be going to the Capital to report in for work. Do you want to come along?"

Mariko nodded happily, then stopped as she thought about what going to Capital City meant.

"...Are you going to stay in the Capital, Nee-chan?"

Asuka shook her head, glancing out the window at the blooming cherry blossoms as they danced in the wind.

"I'll be right here, Mariko. As the new Duke of Akashima."

***

"...Well, a happy ending it seems."

Ruka nods approvingly from the boughs of a large apple tree, observing the reunited sisters make up for lost time. His flame-hair friend stood leaning on a nearby branch, munching nonchalantly on a bright red fruit she had plucked from an overhanging branch. Taking one glance at the pair, she could not help but let out a tiny sigh of relief.

"Jeez, that girl's a lot more fragile than I thought. For a moment, I thought that exploding punch of hers was gonna send the lass flying backwards as well."

The Guardian of Forest smiled, waving his hand idly in the air. A ripe apple appeared in place of the one that Myra had taken, appearing from a flower next to the empty stub.

"But, all the same, are you sure this is alright?" She swallowed her meal, dropping the juicy core down into the grass. "She really has a lot to learn in managing an entire duchy. I know, I know. She's your daughter and I'm sure you've taught her something. But don't you think it's a little too early to be playing hide and seek with the enemy, sir? After all, you only asked us to keep her safe until she could reclaim the House."

A figure cloaked in darkness stood quietly behind the two Guardians of Akashima, his deep onyx eyes watching the two heirs of the Yamihara name chat lively with one another. Myra thought she saw a drop of tear appear within the shroud of shadows, but resigned it to a trick of her eyes.

"...She's my daughter, flesh and blood of the Yamihara name." The voice replied quietly, hiding a powerful wish of hope. "She will do fine until the day I return."

~To be Continued

***


(( Well, that certainly took a while!

Requesting the reclamation of the House of Yamihara and the position of Duke of West Akashima which originally belonged to her father, the late Duke Hiroi Yamihara.

The House has control over areas in West Akashima with the Duke acting as the Caretaker, the Judge and the Overseer of the welfare in the region. Other powers are related to the ruling class, although I promise that I won't overplay its prominence too much.

Also, Asuka regained control of her Estate. Here is the list of all things included:

- 22 Servants (Maids, Butlers, Cooks and five Groundskeeper)
- A small group of soldiers under her control (Samurai loyal to the House; 12 in total)
- Her wardrobe (which she rarely uses anyways)
- A horse-drawn carriage (taking after Radasanthia and Underwood)
- A small armory (Mainly for her small group of soldiers; Lamellar armor, Daisho, Naginata, Yari and Yumi.)

Asuka also gains a new ability, courtesy of her Guardian Myra.

Flameburst - A skill only done after a successful series of Triple Jab (when not wearing her katars), which causes a fiery explosion that causes minor burn but moderate concussive impact. Can only be done exactly after a successful Triple Jab, therefore very limited in opportunity.

Thank you for taking your time. I know this is asking a lot, but it's strictly for storyline purposes. ;)))

***

Omake! Comedy Short Story

Asuka rubbed her little sister's head playfully as they continued their conversation in the resting chambers. Ester, the Head of Housemaids, remained at the bedside changing the Yamihara heir's bandages.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack, Mariko! I actually thought you were hit by that crossbow bolt!"

Mariko smiled playfully, holding up the item in question.

"It's alright, Nee-chan. See?"

The young girl stabbed the arrow through her chest, blood gushing out from the new wound as if a waterskin had been pierced.

"Ma- Mariko! Maree..."

"Nee-chan! Are you alright?!"

Asuka fainted in bed, too shocked by the apparently unharmed Mariko who yanked the barbed bolt out from her chest. The hole through her chest revealed a tan-colored waterskin.

"Young master Mariko, I don't believe Young master Asuka knows about your little illusion trick yet..."

Ester let out a heavy sigh, taking out a bottle of ammonia and some cotton balls. Luckily, the maiden merely fainted and did not really have a heart attack.

[Ataraxis]

Quest Judging
Enemies at the Gates

Why ‘ello there! It’s been a while since, but I’ll deliver untold pains upon you, and you will like it. You will like it so much you’ll forget the meaning of liking. And then you will stop liking it. Which is what I want.

Short commentary as was required!

STORY

Continuity ~ 7.25/10. You dealt fairly well with Asuka’s situation, explaining her background, her exile and the reason why she had to return now. I didn’t exactly get why she was exiled in the first place, but I might have missed that. I’ve been wondering one thing, though: even if the look-alikes are, well, look-alikes, someone who’s known Asuka before shouldn’t have too much trouble making her out in a crowd (except maybe if she stood next to the ninja doppelganger). I was just curious why Urabe wasn’t able to do so. Didn’t know her that well, then? As for the ending, well it all happened as I expected it would (with a dues ex machina to boot), though the big reveal about the guardians in cahoots with the Duke was new. Last note: fighting games? How would Myra know about fighting games? Althanas doesn’t even have the Atari!

Setting ~ 6.25/10. Good descriptions where it mattered, and skilfully written. As a whole, they might have flown a bit under the radar, because they didn’t give me memorable, lasting images of a place. About the Klick-klacks, though… that was a whole darn lot of them! It didn’t annoy me though, but you might want to settle for ‘whirs and clicks’ once in a while.

Pacing ~ 7/10. I had very little difficulty getting through this quest (despite how long it took to get the judgment out, sorry). It was fast-paced writing that didn’t skimp on necessary detail and aesthetics, though it was a bit bare at times. Tension worked both ways for you: you knew how to build it, but as a reader I could guess what would happen a bit too easily, which gave your writing less impact. I’m not telling you to base your writing on unpredictable twists, but the reader likes having his world go topsy-turvy once in a while (as long as it makes sense). The battle’s rhythm was often broken by the Guardians’ intervention, though the one with Myra’s little boost was acceptable.

CHARACTER

Dialogue ~ 6.5/10. Asuka fits the bill when it comes to being a heroine, and she’s got rough edge to her words that makes her stand out a bit more. I foresee that she’ll shine even more if you manage to put her in just the right situations to bring out little gems of dialogue with her. Currently, the situations were a bit too basic and didn’t favour a lot of highly-meaningful interaction. On another note, Tokita had good screen time at the beginning but he became somewhat flatter through the middle and end. Myra and Ruka were interesting little oddballs, though, and the Mistress was well-played; with her every word stinted to the bare minimum, she still managed to be authoritative, and was, all in all, a very cunning character. The red-haired ninja… god, you gave her an evil monologue. That’s not right. She even got owned right after it. Evil monologues = instant failure in any current endeavour.

Action ~ 6/10. The first test had much more relevance than the second one, and here’s why I think so: it was the place where Asuka showed how much human she was. Characters usually say exactly the right thing in this kind of situation, when they know they’re where they rightfully belong. Asuka showed doubts that are very natural, and even went ahead to tell the council that she was lying, that she only projected what she wished into scenes from her childhood. The second test I foresaw from a mile away, and it actually made me question how much Mariko meant to Asuka. I wouldn’t have expected her to pick up the crossbow or even engage the bolt, but she actually aimed. I know she was wondering if Mariko had been their father’s murderer, but doing all that over a fleeting doubt compared to what they went through as children seems exaggerated. As for the battle, it was well-described, though the ninja gloating over Asuka instead of killing her made me cringe a bit.

Persona ~ 6.5/10. Everyone stood out fairly well here, and no one seemed to follow a template to the letter. No doubt that Asuka showed the most, though Myra, Ruka and the Mistress were also fairly interesting in their individual ways. Everything else was said in Dialogue and Action!

WRITING STYLE

Technique ~ 6/10. As I’ve said before, your style is fast-paced and very precise when it comes to having things happen. On top of that, you manage to do manage to have the reader follow the reading rather fluidly, instead of just catching their attention for a paragraph then letting go afterwards, which makes for a jerky read. What I suggest here is to write a bit more in paragraphs that only seem to take one or two lines – not for the sake of making things longer, but to give more meaningful introspection, observation and descriptions, as well as a few rhetorical devices as well. A lot of similes but barely any metaphors. The syntax could also get fairly repetitive after a while, so don’t be afraid to play with it a bit more. You also use the same descriptions a lot, i.e. ‘flame-hair’ (which should be flame-haired).

Mechanics ~ 5.25/10. I was a bit surprised at the number of mistakes that would have been easy to correct. Tenses, plurals, apostrophes and participles. You’ll find everything in the annexed notes.

Clarity ~ 7.25/10. At first I was trying to make sense of Asuka’s situation, but I later realized it was due to a simple misread, so it was all pretty clear! The mistakes, however, often got in the way of understanding things quickly.

MISCELLANEOUS

Wild Card ~ 6/10. Well I have the distinct feeling that the story was not new, but then again no story is. I just didn’t feel like the ‘prodigal return’, the ‘test to find the true heir’, or the ‘foiled yet stubborn imposter bringing in the big guns’ to have been written in a way that would have wowed me. This is definitely not a hack, though. If you’re going to do more political intrigue, I just want to suggest the consideration of a slightly more intricate plot (one that’s not a cluster of confusion, granted). Otherwise, I enjoyed this thread as I didn’t lose any hair over it and it left me saying ‘go Asuka’ in the end. Also, interesting integration of omakes in written form, so minuscule bonus there!

TOTAL ~ 64/100.

EXP Rewards

Yamihara Asuka gains: 1820 XP!

GP Rewards

Yamihara Asuka gains: 160 GP!

Other Rewards

Yamihara asuka gains: the House of Yamihara, the title of Duke/Duchess of West Akashima, 22 servants, 12 soldier/samurai, her wardrobe, a horse-drawn carriage and an armory!

Yamihara also gains: Flameburst!


All of the approved spoils can be revoked by the RoG moderator if any abuse is found or any flagrant or unforeseen imbalance is caused by the acquisition of the above. Basically, play well, though you already know that!

FINAL NOTES

And there you go! Now go on and be more active so that I can read (not necessarily judge, if you’re afraid of the downtime :D) more!



Whether or not the other Dukes would allow her to lead her House. (1) Regardless of whether the Dukes would allow her to lead her House. Whether or not, though correct, is a construction to avoid in certain cases. It works better in ‘Whether you Like it or Not’

nursed her head, her head tipping to (1) r.w., head

Tokito spoke in a hushed tone, a hint of apprehension lingered (1) ‘hused tone: … lingered’ or ‘hushed tone, … lingering’.

"Bandits." Tokita hissed , a flash (1) Tokito, I ‘m guessing

inky orbs. (1) Don’t be afraid of using ‘eyes’. Orbs is very ‘purple-prose’.

wherever crime arise with (1) arose

"Tokita- Watch out!" (1) I’m guessing you settled on Tokita, then. Only consider the Tokito mistake, then!

as she saw one of the brigands raised a giant club (1) saw one of the brigands raise

hardly a fight he could win against (2) you win a fight, you don’t win against it. What you do win against are odds as in ‘I won against all odds’.

Her crimson outfit, with feathery laces and tassels hanging from her hip, lend the dancer-like maiden an air of wonder (2) lent the dance-like maiden an air of wonder

showing off her stunning set of pearly whites and a razor-sharp canines (2) You could be referring to her teeth as ‘pearly whites’, which is good. It’s also possible you were going for ‘pearly white and a razor-sharp canines’ instead. In any case, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and not count this in mechanics, though I thought I’d point it out either way.

snapped the Akashima out of her trance (2) Akashiman

plastered across the two Akashiman's faces (2) Akashimans’ faces (or did you make it Akashimen?)

Asukapursed (2) Asuka pursed

flame-hair (2) flame-haired

I kinda miss this human body and now I know why (2) missed
What does Urabe-san meant by (2) “What did Urabe san mean by’ or ‘What had Urabe san meant’

to behind assassinated the first step she would make towards the stairs (4) Not sure. Being assassinated, maybe?

She must pass those tests. If it was the last thing she could do. (4) I’m nitpicking, but I suggest ‘She had to pass those tests. Even if it was the last thing she would do.’

The sounds drone on (5) droned on

red-hair (5) red-haired

that only a child of the two to understand (7) would understand

harsh they may be at times (7) harsh as they may be

slick-hair (8) slick-haired

splitting image of herself standing (9) It’s been debated, but usually the expression ‘spitting image’ predates ‘splitting image’. Still, splitting image is correct as it works to describe the same thing (derived from the two matching parts of a wood plank split in two). Just wanted to point out the existence of both expressions, in case it could help you.

Tiniesy (10) teensy?

"<-Yamete!>" (10) I thought the < > meant that the dialogue was being translated from Akashiman. Now it’s translated… into Akashiman.

burying itself between the shackled white doll between her breasts (11) into the shackled white doll, between her breasts

But how could her eyes lied to her when the girl (11) could her eyes lie

Was that of the very person she had returned to see. (11) it’s awkward because the sentence would make ‘But how could her eyes lied to her when the girl (…)Was that of the very person she had returned to see’. Perhaps ‘was the very person’ would work better.

flame-hair girl, flame-hair maiden x2 (11) haired again. Don’t worry, I’m only counting those once.

Dungeouns (11) dungeons

forcing adrenaline flowing through (12) to flow

Her reflexes became sharper than it was (12) ‘became sharper than they were’, or, ‘were sharper than before’

As if I'll tell you without a fight (12) as if I’d

The two remained forzen in a deathlock (12) frozen in a deadlock

comment on each actors without (12) each actor

held menacingly no differently from that of a striking mantis (12) maybe ‘held as menacingly as a striking mantis’?

we'll going to replace each (12) we’re going

the assassin's leader (12) assassin leader or assassins’ leader

sun shown brightly (13) shone

did the elder girl brought her back down to the floor. (13) did the elder girl bring her back down

As the new Duke of Akashima. (13) Well, Duchess. Unless you find that pejorative for some reason or another.

[Witchblade]

EXP and GP added!