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Hack
04-09-06, 12:17 AM
Name: Hack
Age: 21
Race: ShadowBlood
Hair Color: White
Eye Color: Unknown
Height: 6'
Weight: 150 lbs.
Occupation: Hired Assassin

Personality: Hack is a very quite person. He gets the job done and vanishes like he was never there. Because of Hack's past, he's not much of a negotiator. If he is assigned to eliminate someone, he does it, no questions asked. But this tends to make people fear him more and more. It's like he has no feelings or emotions.

Appearance: Hack has very pale skin. Nobody is sure of his eyes, for he keeps them covered by a black blindfold. He has a nice build, but wouldn't really be considered "muscular". He is handsome, but very dangerous.

History: Hack's father was a vampire warrior. His mother was a demon assassin. This breed of Vampires and Demons was known as ShadowBloods. This breed was frowned upon by all species, for ShadowBloods in the past have lost their mind, and killed many people. They seem to start going insane at a certain age. Doctors everywhere had agreed to execute any and every ShadowBlood at birth. But Hack's parents wouldnt let that happen. The two ran off and kept Hack's birth a secret. When he was just a few months old, a group of Vampires discovered where Hack's family had been hiding. These vampires were starving, ravaging creatures, and would kill to taste blood again. Hack's parents were slaughtered by them. All but one of the entire group were killed as well. Hack's parents hid him in a food crate before the wild creatures noticed him. His parents fought to save his life, and succeeded, but were killed themselves in doing so. Hack was picked up day's later by a mysterious bounty hunter named Banthril, who could hear his cries from outside of the small tent. He was raised by this vampire until he was about 12 years old, when a notorious Assassin with a big price on his head caught Banthril's eye. But this hit went all wrong. Hack disobeyedly followed Banthril to where this Assassin stayed. Banthril was no match for him. Hack stayed outside and watched his guardians fate through a window. Banthril was shot and killed by the Assassin right in front of Hack's eyes. Hack let out a scream when he saw Banthril die, giving himself away. This Demon Assassin called himself Serraph. Serraph captured Hack and raised him to be a slave. What Hack hated most about Serraph was that he made him wear a Black piece of silk as a blindfold when he worked, just for ammusment. Serraph would tease him and trip him, and Hack was defenseless and blind. He learned to move this way. When Hack tuned 14, Serraph wanted him to fight and get him money, so he tought Hack the way of the Assassin. The comlete training took two years, and for those two years, Hack was planning to kill Serraph, now that he was an Assassin as well. One night, a night Hack waited for for two full years of being beated, mistreated, and brutally trained, he snuck into Serraphs room. He took a dagger and held it to Serraph's throat. Serraph woke in surprise and told Hack something he would never forgot. He told him of the slow death of his parents. He explained how he was the last ravaging vampire of the group. The one who finished the determined parents off, in such a gruesome way. He snuck up behind them both while they were fending off the others, and stabbed them in the back. He told hack how he became a Professional Killer, seeing as to how much he enjoyed killing. Then with one swift move Hack slit Serraph's throat. That was when Hack lost all emotion or care. To this day he has traveled and worked for different people as a Hired Assassin. To this day he wears a black silk blindfold.

Skills:
1. Winds Shadow- Makes him harder to see when in the Shadows
2. Demon Control- Turns into a fiery dark figure and doubles strength and agility, but only lasts 1 minute. (once per battle) After it is used, he becomes dizzy and his strength decreases to half of normal strengh for 20 seconds.
3. Average Dagger Skills

Equipment: Hack carries 2 minor healing potions (allowed one per battle, only heals small wounds) at all times

Armor: A long black trench coat, a black silk shirt, and loose fit black pants

Weapons: Dual Glass Daggers (as strong as iron daggers) (average)

Redeemer
04-09-06, 12:22 AM
Alright...first of all...level 0 characters are not allowed guns. Fix that first, and then we'll get to the...smaller details.

Hack
04-09-06, 12:24 AM
done
sry bout that lol
im new
what next

Hack
04-09-06, 12:58 AM
is the history ok?
too long?
too short?
any thing i can do to make it better?

Redeemer
04-09-06, 01:01 AM
I have no clue what a glass Dagger is, how strong is it *needs to be the strength of steel or less, i.e. IRon, bronze copper.*

That Death dealer thing...kinda' sounds like the thing from Underworld. Could you change the name, and a bit of the history of it.

Winds Shadow cannot make you dissapear from battle completely, or heal. Disappearing is...well, frowned upon. However, if you wish to be hard to see in the shadows...that may be fine. Healing also has to be limited, to small wounds, or over long periods of time.

How much do the potions heal *must be very small wounds*

Fix those, and then we'll move on to the last things.

Hack
04-09-06, 01:09 AM
the glass daggers are the weakest of those you listed (iron, etc.)
the death dealers thing: it has the same vibe from underworld, same meaning and same purpose (kinda like assassins that just keep things in order) so if it is absolutley needed to change in order of approval, i will, otherwise i'd like to keep it it (only if okay)
and the rest ill fix
:)

Redeemer
04-09-06, 01:14 AM
Right, Well, it has come to me that this history of yours, it alot like the opening lines for the underworld books...I didn't know there were books...guess there are. Um, Could you change your history, make it original...somethign its own. It can be based off of things, but names and events must be changed.

Hack
04-09-06, 01:21 AM
okay
1. you just said "make it its own"
then you said "it can be based off of things"
which one?
2. my history has absolutly nothing to do with underworld, therefore not sounding like "opening lines" to an underworld book
3. if its that big of a deal, then i will change the Death Dealer thing
i like the name, and nobody else here has used it
4. it took me 2 hours to come up with that story, i didnt use any movies, books, etc. to help me. i dont know if i can be anymore original


it just seems like your taking the one little Death Dealer thing and making it such a huge deal. all it is is a sweeter name for assassin. but ive seen tons of people here with that occupation. so please dont say im trying to copy underworld when this history is nothing even close to that of underworlds.

Cyrus the virus
04-09-06, 04:44 AM
Hack, please don't argue with the approvals moderator. What he's saying is that a history can be influenced by something, but can't be a copy.

I've seen Underworld, and if I replace one race with another in your history it sounds awfully akin to the movie, so I'll ask that you do as Redeemer says and edit it.

Hack
04-09-06, 09:18 AM
well
what can i change to please you
or can you give me an example of how this sounds at all like Underworld
please just let me know, because i tried my hardest to make an original story.
and please excuse me for arguing, but like i said, i didnt appreciate being told i wasnt original. ive only seen underworld once. so i couldnt even tell you the story line to that. let alone copy it.
just let me know what i need to change.

Redeemer
04-09-06, 09:33 AM
-Death Dealer is the exact rank the vampire assassins have in Underworld.

-You mention a war between Vampires and Demons, a very long war. Much like the war between Vampies and Wolf..things in Underworld. The whole family being murdered is a tad shakey as well. However, this does need to be fixed. Just change it alittle, especially the Death Dealer name. You're creative, you can think of something better than a movie Kate Beckinsale slept through.

Hack
04-09-06, 09:44 AM
lol
ok man
ill fix it right up
i already got rid of the war thing
i started to see what you meant
sorry about that
and ill fix the death dealer thing up

Hack
04-09-06, 09:50 AM
how is it now?

Redeemer
04-09-06, 11:08 AM
Alright, I'll let the history pass, as it is fine now.

1.) I need you to add to your weapons, right next to them, put they are as strong as iron.

2.) For the demon control....I'm not sure what you mean by doubles damage. We're not like a game...we're more realistic. If you want to double speed, or strength even, that's okay. And, if it's only that, it can last up to a minute. I'm not quite sure what you mean by weakens his strength though. Mind elaborating?

Hack
04-09-06, 03:10 PM
yeah sorry about that, im new
it doubles his strength and agility
but after he uses it, he becomes more vulnerable, kind of like he's dazed, or dizzy

Hack
04-09-06, 04:32 PM
is that better?

Redeemer
04-09-06, 04:44 PM
Do you have any skill with your daggers? You need ot put that under the skill section.

Hack
04-09-06, 07:20 PM
ok done

Redeemer
04-09-06, 07:35 PM
What I meant for skilsl was 'Average skills' Or below average. Having just one move means you really can't fight well with your daggers.

Hack
04-09-06, 07:51 PM
oh ok
so do i just write "average skills"?

Redeemer
04-09-06, 07:53 PM
Yep, or below average.

Hack
04-10-06, 05:02 AM
done.
what next?

Redeemer
04-10-06, 06:05 AM
Now you're approved.