View Full Version : Everybody's a Critic...
I hope so, at least. ;)
So Rajani inspired me--apparently these kinds of threads were common place a while ago, which makes sense, because the idea is great. Especially since every single person in the "Who're you rooting for?" thread so far has predicted my immediate demise...hoo boy...
So, yes. If you guys could check out the links in my signature and give me thoughts on improvement, that'd be absolutely phenomenal. I wish I had some solos for you...but but all my current projects are either being finalized or in progress. Sorry ;) I'll let you know when I've got some up.
Shred away! And many thanks.
I don't know, your writing looks pretty good to me. I didn't go into it in nitpicky detail, though.
I wouldn't take the votes against you as offense. I'm not saying that you are offended, but keep in mind that you're fighting an alternate character of Dissinger, who just so happens to be third all-time on this site in terms of experience. He didn't get there with unsuccessful threads ;).
Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that people don't necessarily think that you aren't good. Many of them probably don't know you at all, but they know that Dissinger is very good. So, they're going with the safe bet here.
That said, post the intro to your battle with Khariss :p
Ah. I was wondering who this Pat was everyone was talking about...
Darn.
Well, thanks, Atzar. You've helped to QUADRUPLE my sense of alarm. ;)
Ah yes! I'll get right on that.
Hey, hey, hey. I'm "Redefining Fucked," remember? And you, sir, are not fucked. A substantial underdog, maybe, but certainly not fucked.
Seriously. Think of yourself as rising to the challenge... in the event that you watch college football, nobody expected Florida to beat Ohio State, right? ;)
Right! Just like that, too.
((at what point do we cross the line between 'optimism' and 'denial?' :P ))
Darkness Impulse
01-29-07, 08:29 PM
No, the kind of thing that you're thinking of as being "common in the past" was the thread where you put up a thread that you've done and the next person comments on it(you comment on the one before you of course).
I see none of this here so far, it's blasphemy!(you realize I am just kidding, I hope)
Actually, Seth isn't the best writer on Althanas, so you do have a chance. He is just very consistent and isn't bad. But he has a couple traits that do put him a bit ahead above the average.
Still, your writing is also rather good. Not sure if its your best, because you can only tell a writing from their best and most creative moments.
You have a fair chance of winning, Fenris. Try your best.
No one person is the best writer on Althanas that reigns supreme over others. If that was the case, then that one person probably wouldn't be here, but rather selling his books for wads of cash. So yeah, nobody is unbeatable.
As for your writing, Fenris, I haven't read all of it, but I skimmed over some of it to get a general impression. I think you have a good grasp over the mechanics. Your posts are clear, but sometimes there is too much of that clarity, so your sentences become rather short and simple. Now, don't get me wrong, this gets a message across. The problem is that it doesn't get the whole message across. You need to expand your writing a little bit, enrich it with more setting, more of your character's feelings and thought about what is going on. All in reasonable boundaries, of course. You don't want to overdo it and write soliloquies about the meaning of life as your opponent's blade comes to chop your head off. ;)
I hope that helps a little bit.
That helps a ton, Letho. Thanks very much.
Also! My tournament-intro-slash-"IC Context" is up in Corone:
Thirty-Six Moons (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=4276)
Thoughts and criticism would be much appreciated! Thanks a ton, guys.
YES! I'm double posting!!! If I die by lightning bolt, I will fade from existence with the full knowledge that I totally deserved it. ;)
Just posted the first thread of my first matchup. It's only a tad worriesome, because now I get to wait for Dissinger to come and annihilate my hindparts...
But apart from all that, commentary would be fantastic. I'm gonna need it. ;)
Mage Hunter vs. Fenris (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=4300)
Interesting first post, just remember to tie all the loose ends for your character before the match is over.
I won't say anything else; nothing against you, but it seems like it would be unfair to help you and not extend Dissinger the same grace. Just do your best.
Heh, but I'll say a bit for you or him... if he asks me to help... lol.
I think that the opening post you had was brief and skeletal, but not bad. The only thing I have to say is about character and setting. Anyone that's read something I've written and/or been judged by me (back when I was a mod) understands that I'm a big one for a good show of character and setting.
Without either nothing else will really shine through. You can write perfectly, make no mistakes, and still have a rather uninteresting thread. Using your setting and developing your character is paramount to threads. Character is not only expressed through "My guy is angry and cocky"... it expressed much better through writing your character's actions and reactions.
Good luck and I hope that helped a little.
Hello, all! Just finished the intro to Althanaversary, Thirty-Six Moons. Obviously, it's no where near long enough to judge. I think I'll merge it with "The Good Life," a thread in Concordia I'm doing with Tor Lupinus, which is the epilogue to the Tournament. Is that legal? To ask judges to rate two threads as if they were one continuous quest?
Anyway, any more commentary on Thirty-Six Moons (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=4276) would be fantastic. Many thanks!
Hello, all! Just finished the intro to Althanaversary, Thirty-Six Moons. Obviously, it's no where near long enough to judge. I think I'll merge it with "The Good Life," a thread in Concordia I'm doing with Tor Lupinus, which is the epilogue to the Tournament. Is that legal? To ask judges to rate two threads as if they were one continuous quest?
Anyway, any more commentary on Thirty-Six Moons (http://www.althanas.com/world/showthread.php?t=4276) would be fantastic. Many thanks!
Yep. Seen it done numerous times.
Mage Hunter
02-13-07, 01:48 AM
Feel free to comment on our fight. I know where my failings are, but I will not deny him any help you are willing to give him. If I lose, I'd rather it be because he's learning, than because no one was willing to help.
Hey guys! So the match is over, and I thought I'd ask, if anybody has a couple minutes, if you could look through the thread and give thoughts on improving weaker points. Santhalas' score pointed out Setting, Technique, Dialogue, and Action, among others, and I'd like to ask for some pointers on Mechanics...I was hoping to score better there...
Thanks!
Darkness Impulse
02-26-07, 04:01 PM
Say, this is just jumping out in the blue but if someone could read my completed solo and/or the first parts of my second solo and giv eme some comments or anything, I would really love it. You don't have to, but like I said, I just decided to come here and throw that idea out in the open. I won't really expect anything. Thanks!(sorry Fenris but I don't have any critique for you atm, maybe in the future)
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